Man placing a white rose on top of a gravestone

How Rituals and Traditions Help Us Heal

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Sometimes, it’s hard to know what to think or how to process a loss that hurts so deeply it takes your breath away. That’s where traditions and rituals can help.…
Pallbearers carrying a wooden casket with purple flowers resting on top

How to Personalize the Visitation at a Funeral

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The funeral is a time to truly honor and remember a loved one’s life, but how can you use personalization to reflect that special person’s personality, preferences, interests, and uniqueness?…
Man holding an open book

How to Personalize Readings at a Funeral

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The funeral is a time to truly honor and remember a loved one’s life, but how can you personalize the service to reflect that special person’s personality, preferences, interests, and…

5 Things You Didn’t Know You Could Do for a Funeral

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For many years, every funeral was pretty much the same – copy & paste – but times are changing! Today, most families and funeral homes are moving away from cookie-cutter…

How to Personalize Music at a Funeral

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The funeral is a time to honor and remember a loved one’s life, but how can you personalize the service to reflect that person’s personality, preferences, interests, and uniqueness? According…
group of people placing white roses on a casket

The Simple Guide to Funeral Etiquette

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A funeral is an emotional time for a lost loved one’s family and friends. If you have been invited to attend a funeral, it is helpful to know proper funeral…
1970s music on a casette tape

9 Songs from the 1970s for a Celebration of Life

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Music is powerful - it can help us express our emotions and open us up to feelings we’re avoiding. That’s why choosing the right songs for a funeral can make…
Two women and one man standing at a graveside service, one woman holding a white handkerchief

Why Your Presence at the Funeral Matters

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In our culture today, there’s a tendency to do whatever is necessary to avoid pain and unpleasant feelings. This is one reason why people want to avoid the funeral –…
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What Makes a Funeral Meaningful?

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If you are wondering how to plan a final celebration that is meaningful and that expresses the individuality of the person who died, then here are a few ideas to…
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Understanding the Catholic Funeral Rite

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The Catholic funeral rite is a time-honored tradition that allows the Catholic community to gather in support of the bereaved and to commend dear departed loved ones into God’s loving…
Record player

10 Songs from the 1960s for a Celebration of Life

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One of the most important parts of a funeral is music. When we're grieving, music helps us express our feelings in ways that words can’t and helps us feel the…
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Funerals, Cosmetology, and the Restorative Arts

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The loss of a loved one raises many questions, including what happens to a loved one’s body after it is transferred to the funeral home. You may be wondering how…
Yarn, knitting needles, and knitting projects laid out on a flat green surface

10 Ideas for Making a Funeral More Personal

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Each person deserves a final ceremony that is as unique as their individual life. These ceremonies should reflect the person’s unique personality and honor the memories they made during their…
Four books in a stack on a table in front of several bookcases

10 Literary Readings for Any Type of Funeral

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As you plan a healing and meaningful funeral for a loved one, it’s essential that you find ways to make it personal. According to Dr. Alan Wolfelt, nationally recognized grief…
Older man and woman sitting on a couch, holding hands in a comforting way, focus on their hands

Help Your Family Heal After Loss

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One of the hardest experiences of one’s life is losing a loved one. Families can experience devastation, confusion, guilt, and regret after a loved one passes. The road to healing…
Couple holding hands at a graveyard

What to Do When Things Go Wrong at a Funeral

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Attending a loved one’s funeral can be emotionally challenging, and you may feel grief, pain, and confusion at the ceremony. That’s where having a problem-free funeral for your loved one…
1950s jukebox

11 Songs from the 1950s for a Celebration of Life

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Did you know that you can use your loved one’s favorite music to personalize their funeral? Music plays an important role in a funeral by helping mourners express emotions they…

10 Songs from the 1940s for a Celebration of Life

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Music plays a vital role in a funeral service or celebration of life. Songs played at a funeral can set the tone for the service, open us up to feelings we’ve been…
Casket surrounded by floral arrangements, including floral scarf of red and white flowers

6 Ways to Personalize a Casket

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When planning a funeral service, the best way to create a truly unique, one-of-a-kind experience is to add personalized touches throughout the events. That might mean selecting special music, choosing…
Shaking hands with a friendly professional

11 Qualities to Look for in a Funeral Director

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Losing a loved one can bring pain, grief, uncertainty, and confusion. A loss can also leave you with the responsibility of planning a funeral, requiring you to answer questions that…
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11 Classical Music Songs for a Funeral Service

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"Where words fail, music speaks." - Danish author Hans Christian Andersen In our greatest times of pain and grief, we often don't have the words to describe the intense emotions…
beautiful woman writing into her diary, in the park

4 Reasons Why Eulogies are Important

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Losing a loved one can be one of the toughest trials you face in life. And maybe the last thing you want in your time of grief is to stand…

How to Write a Eulogy

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Being asked to write and present someone’s eulogy is a great honor and is often reserved for those closest to the person who died. But it can also be a…
Woman choosing a color from a color wheel

Using Color to Personalize a Service

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Creating a personalized funeral or memorial service is the first step toward finding the healing and reconciliation you need after a loss. Why? Because if the service details truly reflect…
Illustrates what an inscription would look like

6 Ways to Personalize a Memorial Marker

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When visiting a cemetery, it can seem like your options are limited when choosing a memorial marker, but that’s not true. There are many options for creating a personalized monument…

10 Funeral Etiquette Tips for Livestream Services

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Livestream funeral and memorial services are here to stay. As a society, we’ve found that livestreaming allows far away family and friends to participate in the meaningful and symbolic actions…
Four professionals lined up, smiling

What Do Funeral Directors Do?

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Have you ever wondered exactly what funeral directors do? To most people, funeral service is a bit of a mystery. That's because a vast majority of people have never had…
Pallbearers lowering casket into grave

8 Pallbearer Etiquette Tips

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Participating in a funeral as a pallbearer is a time-honored tradition and a sign of trust. It’s both an honor and a responsibility. After all, you have been asked to…

Eulogies & Sharing a Loved One’s Legacy

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When a close loved one dies, you may be asked to give a eulogy. So, you may be wondering, where do I start? First of all, what is a eulogy?…

Understanding Your Grief: Hope for the Holidays

| COVID-19, Dr. Wolfelt Videos, Exclude from Top Posts, Grief/Loss, Seasonal, Uncategorized | No Comments
This Christmas season, with the COVID-19 pandemic still affecting lives, Dr. Wolfelt shares a poignant message of hope and healing despite the unique challenges this year has forced upon us.…

What Do You Do When Someone Dies?

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If you’ve recently lost someone you love, you have our sincerest sympathies. For many of us, dealing with death and all the logistical and emotional details associated with it is…

Practical Ways to Personalize the 7 Elements of a Funeral

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Planning a funeral after a loved one dies may seem overwhelming at first, and that’s okay. So many of us have never planned a funeral before and simply don’t know…

Top 15 Bible Verses for a Celebration of Life Service

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A Christian funeral service is not complete without a few readings from scripture. Readings can help mourners process the loss and find meaning in the midst of pain. Additionally, the…

How Funerals Help Us Accept the Reality of Death

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Since the beginning of time, humanity has recognized the need to observe the death of a loved one through some form of funeral. While the tradition of the funeral has changed…

How Funerals Help Us Process the Pain We Feel

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While the depth of feeling varies from person to person, we can all agree that when someone we love dies, we feel many different emotions, like sadness, anger, relief, regret, among…

How Funerals Help Us Remember a Loved One

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While the form and tradition of the funeral has changed from culture to culture over the ages, the fact remains that every people group finds a way to remember and honor their dead. We still have…

How Funerals Help Us Step into a New Identity

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While the traditions surrounding the funeral have changed from culture to culture over the ages, the fact is that every culture finds a way to remember and honor their dead. Dr. Alan Wolfelt, a nationally recognized…

How Funerals Help Us Find Continued Meaning in Life

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Since the beginning of time, human beings have participated in funerals and found a way to remember and honor their dead. While the traditions look different from culture to culture, we always find evidence that family and friends were respected…

How Funerals Help Us Activate a Community of Support

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Since the beginning of time, humanity has participated in the funeral. While the way we conduct funerals has changed from culture to culture over the ages, the fact remains that…

6 Ways to Use Photos to Honor a Loved One

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With the current guidelines on social distancing, we must find ways of honoring and memorializing a loved one other than gathering together for a funeral or memorial service. Consider these…

6 Ideas for Holding Funeral Services While Practicing Social Distancing

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Over the past few weeks, we’ve seen how important funeral and memorial services are to the grieving. Funerals serve two very important functions. First, they honor the life of the…

Funerals in the Time of Coronavirus: Thoughts for Families

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Needless to say, the coronavirus pandemic of 2020 is a challenging time for everyone. But if someone you love has died, it is likely that the current social distancing orders…

The 6 Purposes of a Funeral

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No matter how far back you look in history, you will find evidence of funeral rituals. Within us, we have an innate need to honor, respect, and remember those who…

All You Need to Know About Funeral Programs, Prayer Cards, and More

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Whether you are planning ahead for funeral wishes or planning a final tribute for a loved one, you may have noticed that many funeral or memorial packages include memorial stationery.…

How to Plan a Healing Funeral if You Are Not Religious

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Funeral rites have a rich history rooted in spiritual and religious traditions. So, what do you do for a funeral if you are not religious? Some families may consider skipping…

10 Ways to Use Photos to Personalize a Service

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Funeral and memorial services are about remembering and cherishing a loved one’s memory and honoring their life. Dr. Alan Wolfelt, a nationally recognized grief expert, author, and counselor, often says,…

The 5 Basic Steps of Funeral Planning

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Thinking about planning a funeral may make you feel anxious, especially if you are arranging a funeral for a loved one who has recently died. The whole thing just sets…

3 Reasons to Have a Visitation

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Have you ever wondered about the purpose of a visitation when a loved one dies? Why don't we just skip to the funeral? This article will share three key reasons…

Why Does Funeral Personalization Matter?

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“I encourage you to slow down, take a deep breath and focus on what is really important—what is essential—about the funeral you are planning. What is essential is the life…

How to Personalize a Funeral When an Infant Dies

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“Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart.” – A.A. Milne Losing an infant or a small child is one of the most difficult situations to…

Creating Memorial Keepsakes with Funeral Flowers

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One way that extended family, friends, and co-workers show their love and support in times of loss is by sending flowers and condolences to the grieving family. By offering a…

Life Lessons Children Can Learn at Funerals

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Death and funerals are an inescapable part of life. It’s hard to know what to do when our children encounter death for the first time. As much as we would…

Cremation and the Importance of Ceremony

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Cremation is a rapidly growing trend in the United States, with just over 50% of those who died in 2016 selecting cremation for their final disposition. However, many families who…

Do Funerals Still Matter?

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We have had funerals since the beginning of time. No matter which culture you research, you will find evidence of funeral rites and traditions. Though the specific customs may have…

The Importance of a Memorial Tribute Video

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“The death of someone loved changes our lives forever. And the movement from the ‘before’ to the ‘after’ is almost always a long, painful journey. From my own experiences with loss…

Should a Funeral Be Efficient or Effective?

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At some point in life, we’ve all attended a funeral or memorial service that seems to leave us feeling empty or numb. Why? Usually, it has to do with whether…

Exploring Your Release Ceremony Options

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Losing a loved one creates a painful hole in our hearts that we often don't know how to fill. However, through the process of grief and mourning, we can come…

5 Meaningful Actions to Personalize a Funeral

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Throughout history, many things have changed, but one thing that has endured is the funeral ceremony. At some level deep down, we all know that a funeral is important. It’s…

6 Ways to Personalize a Funeral

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A funeral, though a time of mourning, can still be filled with celebration and remembrance. It’s a time to honor the one who has died but also an opportunity to…

What To Do When Dad Dies

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First of all, you have our sincerest sympathies on the loss for your father. Dads are special people - irreplaceable and worth remembering. If your dad completed funeral prearrangement plans,…

What To Do When Mom Dies

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First of all, you have our sincerest sympathies on the loss for your mother. Moms are special people - irreplaceable and worth remembering. If your mom completed funeral prearrangement plans,…

The Healing Power of Ritual

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Throughout our lives, we participate in rituals. In some cases, we may not even know that we are taking part in a ritual. At weddings, we toss the bouquet. And…

7 Elements of a Healing and Meaningful Funeral

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The Elements of a Meaningful Funeral Service “People who take the time and make the effort to create meaningful funeral arrangements when someone loved dies often end up making new…

Top 12 Country Songs for a Celebration of Life Service

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“A good country music song takes a page out of somebody’s life and puts music to it.” – Conway Twitty According to well-known grief expert, counselor, and author Dr. Alan…
Group of five men and women sitting at a table, making plans

5 Unique Venues for a Celebration of Life Service

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“People who take the time and make the effort to create meaningful funeral arrangements when someone loved dies...emerge changed, more authentic and purposeful. The best funerals remind us how we…

The Value of Ceremony: Caring for the Living and the Dead

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“Show me the manner in which a nation or a community cares for its dead. I will measure exactly the sympathies of its people, their respect for the laws of…

Top 10 Poems for a Funeral Ceremony

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Readings are a great way to enrich a funeral ceremony. As Dr. Wolfelt tells us, readings are an important element of the service because they speak to “word people,” help…

7 Popular Sympathy Flowers and Their Meanings

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Sympathy flowers are a great way to show support to a family that is grieving the loss of a loved one. As Dr. Alan Wolfelt tells us, symbols such as…

Top 10 Hymns for a Funeral Ceremony

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Music is an important element of a funeral ceremony because it helps us to process feelings that are difficult to put into words. As Dr. Alan Wolfelt tells us, music…

What is a Gathering?

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Also known as a post-funeral reception, the gathering is a final opportunity to experience community with others and to offer support before returning home. The gathering allows friends to strengthen…

“A Clear Midnight”

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"A Clear Midnight"   by Walt Whitman This is thy hour O Soul, thy free flight into the wordless, Away from books, away from art, the day erased, the lesson…

“Death, Be Not Proud”

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"Death, Be Not Proud" by John Donne Death, be not proud, though some have called thee Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so; For those whom thou think'st thou…

“The Road Not Taken”

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"The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked…

“Requiem”

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"Requiem" by Robert Louis Stevenson Under the wide and starry sky Dig the grave and let me lie: Glad did I live and gladly die, And I laid me down…

“If I Can Stop One Heart from Breaking”

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"If I Can Stop One Heart from Breaking" by Emily Dickinson If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain; If I can ease one…

“Success”

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"Success" By Bessie Anderson Smith* He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much; who has enjoyed the trust of pure women, the respect of intelligent…

Psalm 23

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Psalm 23 David, The Book of Psalms (KJV) The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside…

Top 10 Songs for a Funeral Ceremony

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Music and Ceremony Music can be a powerful component of the funeral ceremony because it allows us to process our feelings in a very special way. Grief counselor and educator…

The Paradoxes of Mourning Part 3 of 3: Backtracking on the Route to Healing

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By Dr. Alan D. Wolfelt Paradox 3: Mourners must go backward before they can go forward. A paradox is a seemingly self-contradictory statement or situation that is in fact often…

The Paradoxes of Mourning Part 2 of 3: The Dark Night of the Soul

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By Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. Paradox 2: Mourners must make friends with the darkness before they can enter the light. A paradox is a seemingly self-contradictory statement or situation that…

The Paradoxes of Mourning Part 1 of 3: Creating Hello Opportunities

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By Dr. Alan D. Wolfelt Paradox 1: Families must say hello before they can say goodbye A paradox is a seemingly self-contradictory statement or situation that is in fact often…

Crafting a Eulogy

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What is a Eulogy? A eulogy is a speech given at a funeral that celebrates the life of a loved one. It comes from the Greek word eulogia, which means…

How Poetry Can Help You on Your Grief Journey

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Did you know that poetry can play an important role in the grieving process? Sadly, poetry readings are becoming less and less popular in everyday life, but they are still…

Funeral Etiquette Infographic

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This infographic shares basic funeral etiquette guidelines for attending a funeral and supporting a friend after a loss.

How Do Actions Help Us Heal?

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https://youtu.be/ipTOzgAzmXI In this video, Dr. Wolfelt examines some of the actions that help make a ceremony more special and meaningful. Elements of action bring meaning to the people involved in…

The Importance of Symbols

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https://youtu.be/sDlrNU6rKW4 In this video, Dr. Wolfelt talks about the value of symbols during a time of loss. Symbols Convey Love When words are inadequate, we often use symbols that express…

How do Readings Enhance the Funeral Experience?

| Dr. Wolfelt Videos, Funeral Poems, Meaningful Funerals | 2 Comments
https://youtu.be/du6v2Y3wSkM In this video, Dr. Wolfelt discusses the purpose of readings in a funeral setting. Group readings contribute to the service in meaningful ways: Speak to “Word People” A good…

What is the Hierarchy of Needs After Losing a Loved One?

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https://youtu.be/efv8QYwNGiY Dr. Wolfelt has spent decades studying across cultures and age groups to discover the universal purposes that funerals serve. He has concluded that the funeral serves six functions, and…

What is the Difference Between Grief and Mourning?

| Dr. Wolfelt Videos, Meaningful Funerals | 4 Comments
https://youtu.be/1V8i2ErSfZk In this video, Dr. Wolfelt discusses the difference between grief and mourning, two terms often conflated. Grief is Internal While they are often used interchangeably, the words grief and…

The 6 Needs of Mourning

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https://youtu.be/RLM9-v80kpA In this video, Dr. Wolfelt explains the six “yield signs,” or needs that a person has when a loved one dies. Funerals are rites of initiation that help people…

The Paradoxes of Mourning

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https://youtu.be/6vzKpccesg8 In this video, Dr. Wolfelt provides three different lenses through which we can view the process of grief and the movement from pain to acceptance. Hello Before Goodbye Throughout…

Why Should the Body Be Present?

| Dr. Wolfelt Videos, Meaningful Funerals | 2 Comments
https://youtu.be/tHQPj-bl5AY In this video, Dr. Wolfelt discusses the importance of the body and shows how having the "guest of honor" present contributes to a healthy and healing funeral service. Acknowledging…

Why Include Special Music in a Funeral Ceremony?

| Dr. Wolfelt Videos, Meaningful Funerals, Music | 4 Comments
https://youtu.be/mtnumSLYzo0 In this video, Dr. Wolfelt talks about the role that music plays in allowing you to process your feelings about a loved one’s passing. The Inadequacy of Words Music…

What is a Eulogy?

| Dr. Wolfelt Videos, Meaningful Funerals | One Comment
https://www.youtube.com/embed/iXAL_5hOTTw In this video, Dr. Wolfelt discusses how the eulogy allow us to process grief in a healthy and meaningful way: Recalls the Life The eulogy is a period of…

What is the Difference Between a Celebration of Life and a Party?

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https://youtu.be/3G8f5lX9MFE In this video, Dr. Wolfelt discusses the important role that grief plays in the funeral ceremony. Celebrating a Life Our culture encourages us to avoid sad or painful feelings.…

Will a Funeral Bring Closure?

| Dr. Wolfelt Videos, Meaningful Funerals | One Comment
https://youtu.be/6Xj1aV7jJJY In this video, Dr. Wolfelt dispels the popular notion that a funeral is an opportunity for closure. A Rite of Initiation In recent years, there has been a tendency…

What is the Purpose of a Funeral Procession?

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https://youtu.be/KhTSBN2Apv8?rel=0 In this video, Dr. Wolfelt discusses the important function of the funeral procession and the impact that it has on the family and the broader community. Honoring the Loved…

What Are the Elements of a Meaningful Funeral?

| Dr. Wolfelt Videos, Meaningful Funerals | One Comment
https://youtu.be/eQxJlLdld3E In this video, Dr. Wolfelt discusses the heart graphic that he created as a tool to outline the elements of the funeral. The Hierarchy To convey the value of…

Why Have a Visitation?

| Dr. Wolfelt Videos, Meaningful Funerals | One Comment
https://youtu.be/H51f2bBLsnM Having a visitation or viewing prior to the funeral ceremony can be of great value to a bereaved family. In this video, Dr. Wolfelt shows the history of visitations…

Why Do We Have Funerals?

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Dr. Wolfelt explains why we have had funerals since the beginning of time and the role that the funeral plays in a grieving person's healing journey. Dr. Wolfelt shares the…