Moms are special people – irreplaceable and worth remembering. They soothed skinned knees, cooked the best mac and cheese, and made sure you knew you were loved. And now, after her passing, it’s your chance to honor and remember all the wonderful little details that made her “mom” by creating a sweet final tribute for a wonderful woman. This comprehensive guide provides answers to common questions and will help you navigate through the process of planning a personalized and meaningful tribute for your beloved mom.
Please note: If your mom completed funeral prearrangement plans, contact the funeral home she partnered with to review her preferred funeral wishes. With her preferences in hand, you can work closely with the funeral home to ensure that her life is honored in the way she chose.
Choose a Final Disposition
The first step is to choose which form of final disposition is best. Nowadays, the options for final disposition (your decision on what happens to a loved one’s physical body) continue to expand. Please take a moment to read the articles below to help you decide which option is most appropriate for honoring your mom.
Traditional Burial
Green Burial
Cremation
Natural Organic Reduction
Write a Touching Obituary
Another thing you will do early on in the planning process is write an obituary. You don’t have to be a great writer to beautifully express your love for your mom. Even as you include the expected details, consider how you might add little touches that reflect the individuality of her life.
How to Write a Great Obituary
Writing an Obituary with AI: Dos and Don’ts
Personalize the Funeral Service
No matter what kind of service you put together, the event will be more meaningful if it is personalized. By adding special touches to the service, you can honor your mom’s life uniquely and specifically. You can read “10 Ideas for Making a Funeral More Personal” or “Helping Your Family Personalize a Funeral” for help with brainstorming ideas.
Also, consider the benefits of including seven tried and true elements that help create a service that is meaningful, healing, and personal. These seven elements are music, readings, viewing/visitation, eulogy, symbols, gathering, and actions. Let’s look at each one in a little more depth.
Music
First of all, music sets the mood for a funeral and brings emotions to the forefront. In fact, one of the purposes of a funeral is to allow mourners to grieve together, and in many ways, music says what words cannot. Don’t be afraid to invite people to express grief. Did your mom have some favorite songs, instruments, or musical artists? Consider using any or all of them in the service.
How to Personalize Music at a Funeral
10 Songs to Honor Mom at a Funeral Service
Readings
Second, readings add another facet to a meaningful funeral. They are another way to invite mourners to express their emotions and bring your mom’s unique spirit to the service. Did she have a favorite book? Poem? Was she a person of faith who would want passages read?
How to Personalize Readings at a Funeral
Top 15 Bible Verses for a Celebration of Life Service
Viewing/Visitation
Third, the viewing or visitation is a time for family, friends, coworkers, and neighbors to gather and express support and sympathy. If you include a viewing, family and friends can see your mom one last time and begin to acknowledge the reality of her death. For many, it’s important to physically see the person who has died, and the viewing offers this opportunity.
How to Personalize the Visitation at a Funeral
3 Reasons to Have a Visitation
Eulogy or Remembrance
Fourth, the eulogy may be the single most important aspect of a funeral service. It is the time set aside to acknowledge and affirm the significance of your mom’s life. As you craft a eulogy, you can share treasured memories, quotes, or even her favorite jokes. The eulogy, sometimes called the “remembrance” or the “homily,” can be delivered by a clergy person, a family member, or even by a series of people.
8 Tips for Crafting a Eulogy
How to Personalize the Eulogy at a Funeral
Symbols
Fifth, symbols offer a focus point for mourners as well as a sense of comfort. Common symbols are a cross (or another appropriate religious symbol), flowers, and candles, but they can be almost anything. Did your mom quilt, crochet, paint, or create in any way? You could include her art at the service. If she liked to read, you could display her favorite titles. The possibilities are open. To help you choose symbols that are unique to your mom, consider reading “How to Personalize Symbols at a Funeral.”
Gathering
Sixth, the gathering is an opportunity for friends and family to come together after the funeral service to share stories and support each other. As people gather together, your mom’s life and legacy will be the main topic of conversation. You may even hear stories you’ve never heard before and find comfort in learning something new. To discover more about the gathering and how to personalize it to celebrate your mom’s life, read “How to Personalize the Gathering at a Funeral.”
Actions
And seventh, by including actions at the service, you invite mourners to put their grief into motion. Simply put, mourning is the outward expression of our inward grief. By including actions at the service, you can honor your mom and help others move toward healing. For example, you could provide a book where mourners can write a note to your mom, or you can ask everyone to bring a photo of your mom to place in a photo collage. For more ideas, make sure to read “How to Personalize Healing Actions at a Funeral.”
Opt for a Memorial Service
For some families, a memorial service works better than a traditional service. The main difference is that a memorial service occurs after burial or cremation has already taken place. In other words, the physical body is not present. However, you can still create a personalized final tribute using all of the elements we’ve discussed. Whether the body is present or not, the ultimate goal is to honor your mom’s life and invite her family and friends to pay their respects and say their goodbyes. For more details on creating a personalized memorial service, check out “7 Tips for Planning a Memorial Service.”
Make Decisions on Sympathy Gifts
Sympathy gifts are a way for mourners to express their support and condolences to the family who has lost a loved one. Flowers have historically been a popular sympathy gift. However, in recent years, donations in memoriam to a favorite charity have risen in popularity. Did your mom have a favorite organization or charity that would serve this purpose? If you would like to receive flowers, did your mom have a favorite type?
7 Popular Sympathy Flowers and Their Meanings
Funeral Etiquette: “In Lieu of Flowers” and Donations
Decide on a Final Resting Place
Selecting a place of final rest and deciding on a grave marker are important parts of the planning process. Not only do you ensure that your mom’s name is remembered, but you also provide a permanent place where friends and family can go to mourn or to talk when missing your mom hits hardest.
4 Ways Visiting a Loved One’s Grave Can Help You Grieve
5 Reasons to Establish a Permanent Memorial
Explore Burial Benefits for Veterans
If your mom was a veteran of the Armed Forces, she may be eligible for certain burial benefits through the Department of Veterans Affairs. Your funeral director can help you look into these benefits to see if any of them are beneficial to you and your family.
Veterans’ Burial Benefits Checklist
5 Key Veteran Burial Benefits You Should Know
Planning a service for a loved one is hard, but it can also be a meaningful and beautiful experience. As you plan a fitting tribute for your precious mom, may you find comfort and moments of joy in remembering who she is, what she means to you, and how you can lovingly celebrate her life and lasting legacy.
