Meaningful Funerals Archives

Aug 05

Woman cutting flowers to create a flower arrangement

Make It Personal: 6 Unique Funeral Personalization Ideas

By christy.kessler Explore Options, Meaningful Funerals, Personalization

Though a funeral is a time of mourning, it’s also a time for celebration and remembrance. With intentionality and thoughtfulness, you can create a final tribute that lovingly reflects the life, values, relationships, and ideals of the person who has died. And the beauty of personalization is that there’s no mold to follow!

Much like a wedding, you can customize every area of a funeral service to create a unique farewell for a one-of-a-kind person. But how do you get started? Today, we’ll talk about six ways you can personalize the service, but these ideas are just the tip of the iceberg. The possibilities are endless, and your funeral director can help you every step of the way.

1. Bring in a meaningful prop

In some cases, a larger item or prop instantly brings a certain person to mind. For example, did your loved one enjoy playing 18 holes every day in retirement? Bring in a golf cart and their stand bag with clubs. For a motorcycle enthusiast, park their Harley-Davidson in a place of honor.

No matter what your loved one was known for, you can use an associated item to add deeper meaning and dimension to the service. From an artist’s easel to a volunteer firefighter’s gear, make use of specific props to tell the story of your loved one’s life.

If you’d like to bring a larger prop into the funeral home, make sure you discuss your wishes with the staff first. They can help you coordinate the details and ensure everything goes smoothly.

2. Include your loved one’s favorite things

Your loved one was unique and had their own quirks and passions, things they particularly loved. You can use these interests to help you add a deeper level of personalization to the service.

Perhaps you can incorporate your loved one’s favorite color, showcase their prized pen collection, or arrange their artwork into a lovely display. Mourners can then walk by, reminisce, and smile at how accurately the items reflect your loved one’s life and passions. Not only will you highlight the things most precious to your loved one’s heart, but you will also infuse the service with their indomitable spirit.

3. Create a memorial work of art

A unique idea to consider is inviting funeral guests into a group activity where you create a work of art together. For example, you could create a craft station where guests will participate in creating a painting, a quilt, or even a scrapbook.

Encourage guests to write down their favorite memory of your loved one on a quilt square, create a scrapbook page, or paint a portion of a canvas with a memory, color, or picture that they would like to share.

By inviting guests to contribute, you will have a treasure trove of memories after the funeral. On days when you need to feel close to your loved one, you can admire the painting, pull out the scrapbook, or wrap up in the quilt you all created together as you cherish your loved one’s influence on their world of family and friends.

4. Make a collage or a timeline

If you have access to photos, you could create a collage that tells the story of your loved one’s life. Starting with their childhood, you could include your favorite images from the important events in your loved one’s life, like winning the 8^th grade science fair, graduation, getting married, having a child, or retiring from work.

Or you can skip the timeline and instead focus on highlighting the most treasured moments. With this option, you have a little more creative freedom as you place photos on the collage. You can also easily invite family or friends into the creation process to make the experience more collaborative.

But no matter how you choose to organize the images, find a way to tell your loved one’s story in a way that is meaningful and beautiful.

5. Invite guests to take an item home

Another personalization option is inviting guests to take an item or a token home with them after the funeral. For example, if your loved one was a voracious reader, consider taking some of their books to the ceremony with a note saying, “[Name] loved to read. Please take home and read one of [his or her] books in honor of [his or her] memory. The book is yours to keep!”

By including this action in the service, guests leave with a tangible reminder of your loved one’s life that will bring comfort and meaning. You could use any sort of item as a token, like recipe cards, seed packets, postcards, collection items, or anything your loved one may have cherished. What a sweet thing it is for guests to have something to take home that will serve as a small reminder of a person they loved.

6. Include favorite foods

Food is a love language in many families. If your loved one was always clear on their food preferences, consider whether you can somehow include those foods in the service. You might have an ice cream station at the visitation. Or arrange a fellowship meal after the service that includes all your loved one’s favorite dishes and desserts.

For one family, the funeral procession included stopping at the Burger King drive-thru for one more Whopper on the way to the graveside service. No matter what it looks like, including a favorite food can add a special touch to the service and maybe even elicit a smile or a laugh.

What’s next?

The ideas shared here are only the beginning. Take some time to think through personalized and creative ideas that will highlight your loved one’s unique spirit and personality.

As you brainstorm, consider favorite songs, readings, recipes, hobbies, pastimes, and funny quirks, as well as treasured memories, mementos, collections, and relationships. Any of these things may trigger ideas on how to best honor your loved one.

For more help with personalization, check out these additional resources:

Using Color to Personalize a Service
Practical Ways to Personalize the 7 Elements of a Funeral
10 Ways to Use Photos to Personalize a Service
6 Ways to Personalize a Casket
Setting the Tone for a Service: A Collection of Funeral Songs

Jul 11

Love0

Man standing next to casket with white rose in his hands

Planning a Funeral for Dad: A Comprehensive Guide

By christy.kessler Meaningful Funerals, Planning Tools

Dads are special people, their strength and steadiness worth remembering. While they may tell the worst jokes, their love and encouragement make you feel like you can do anything. They offer solace, protection, and guidance as you navigate the world and the unexpected challenges that come up. And now, after his passing, it’s your chance to honor and remember all the quirky little details that made him “dad” by creating a heartfelt tribute for an upstanding man. This comprehensive guide provides answers to common questions and will help you navigate through the process of planning a personalized and meaningful tribute for your one-of-a-kind dad.

Please note: If your dad completed funeral prearrangement plans, contact the funeral home he partnered with to review his preferred funeral wishes. With his preferences in hand, you can work closely with the funeral home to ensure that his life is honored in the way he chose.

Choose a Final Disposition

The first step is to choose which form of final disposition is best. Nowadays, the options for final disposition (your decision on what happens to a loved one’s physical body) continue to expand. Please take a moment to read the articles below to help you decide which option is most appropriate for honoring your dad.

Traditional Burial
Green Burial
Cremation
Natural Organic Reduction

Write a Touching Obituary

Another thing you will do early on in the planning process is write an obituary. You don’t have to be a great writer to beautifully express your love for your dad. Even as you include the expected details, consider how you might add little touches that reflect his unique life.

How to Write a Great Obituary
Writing an Obituary with AI: Dos and Don’ts

Personalize the Funeral Service

No matter what kind of service you put together, the event will be more meaningful if it is personalized. By adding special touches to the service, you can honor your dad’s life meaningfully and specifically. You can read “10 Ideas for Making a Funeral More Personal” or “Helping Your Family Personalize a Funeral” for help with brainstorming ideas.

Also, consider the benefits of including seven tried and true elements that help create a service that is meaningful, healing, and personal. These seven elements are music, readings, viewing/visitation, eulogy, symbols, gathering, and actions. Let’s look at each one in a little more depth.

Music

First of all, music sets the mood for a funeral and brings emotions to the forefront. In fact, one of the purposes of a funeral is to allow mourners to grieve together, and in many ways, music says what words cannot. Don’t be afraid to invite people to express grief. Did your dad have some favorite songs, instruments, or musical artists? Consider using any or all of them in the service.

How to Personalize Music at a Funeral
12 Songs to Honor Dad at a Funeral Service

Readings

Second, readings add another facet to a meaningful funeral. They are another way to invite mourners to express their emotions and bring your dad’s unique spirit to the service. Did he have a favorite book? Poem? Was he a person of faith who would want passages read?

How to Personalize Readings at a Funeral
Top 15 Bible Verses for a Celebration of Life Service

Viewing/Visitation

Third, the viewing or visitation is a time for family, friends, coworkers, and neighbors to gather and express support and sympathy. If you include a viewing, family and friends can see your dad one last time and begin to acknowledge the reality of his death. For many, it’s important to physically see the person who has died, and the viewing offers this opportunity.

How to Personalize the Visitation at a Funeral
3 Reasons to Have a Visitation

Eulogy or Remembrance

Fourth, the eulogy may be the single most important aspect of a funeral service. It is the time set aside to acknowledge and affirm the significance of your dad’s life. As you craft a eulogy, you can share treasured memories, quotes, or even his favorite jokes. The eulogy, sometimes called the “remembrance” or the “homily,” can be delivered by a clergy person, a family member, or even by a series of people.

8 Tips for Crafting a Eulogy
How to Personalize the Eulogy at a Funeral

Symbols

Fifth, symbols offer a focus point for mourners as well as a sense of comfort. Common symbols are a cross (or another appropriate religious symbol), flowers, and candles, but they can be almost anything. Did your dad hunt, fish, play a sport, like board games, or read a lot? You could display his fishing gear or lay out his favorite board game. If he liked reading, you could bring bookshelves to showcase his favorite titles. The possibilities are open. To help you choose symbols that are unique to your dad, consider reading “How to Personalize Symbols at a Funeral.”

Gathering

Sixth, the gathering is an opportunity for friends and family to come together after the funeral service to share stories and support each other. As people gather together, your dad’s life and legacy will be the main topic of conversation. You may even hear stories you’ve never heard before and find comfort in learning something new. To discover more about the gathering and how to personalize it to celebrate your dad’s life, read “How to Personalize the Gathering at a Funeral.”

Actions

And seventh, by inviting others into action at the funeral service, you engage mourners and invite them to put their grief into motion. Simply put, mourning is the outward expression of our inward grief. By including actions at the service, you can honor your dad and help others move toward healing. For example, you could provide a book where mourners can write a note to your dad, or you can ask everyone to wear his favorite sports team’s colors. For more ideas, make sure to read “How to Personalize Healing Actions at a Funeral.”

Opt for a Memorial Service

For some families, a memorial service works better than a traditional service. The main difference is that a memorial service occurs after burial or cremation has already taken place. In other words, the physical body is not present. However, you can still create a personalized final tribute using all of the elements we’ve discussed. Whether the body is present or not, the ultimate goal is to honor your dad’s life and invite his family and friends to pay their respects and say their goodbyes. For more details on creating a personalized memorial service, check out “7 Tips for Planning a Memorial Service.”

Make Decisions on Sympathy Gifts

Sympathy gifts are a way for mourners to express their support and condolences to the family who has lost a loved one. Flowers have historically been a popular sympathy gift. However, in recent years, donations in memoriam to a favorite charity have risen in popularity. Did your dad have a favorite organization or charity that would serve this purpose? If you would like to receive flowers, did your dad have a favorite type?

Decide on a Final Resting Place

Selecting a place of final rest and deciding on a grave marker are important parts of the planning process. Not only do you ensure that your dad’s name is remembered, but you also provide a permanent place where friends and family can go to mourn or to talk when missing your dad hits hardest.

4 Ways Visiting a Loved One’s Grave Can Help You Grieve
5 Reasons to Establish a Permanent Memorial

Explore Burial Benefits for Veterans

If your dad was a veteran of the Armed Forces, he may be eligible for certain burial benefits through the Department of Veterans Affairs. Your funeral director can help you look into these benefits to see if any of them are beneficial to you and your family.

Veterans’ Burial Benefits Checklist
5 Key Veteran Burial Benefits You Should Know

Planning a service for a loved one is hard, but it can also be a meaningful and beautiful experience. As you plan a fitting tribute for your dad, may you find comfort and moments of joy in remembering who he is, what he means to you, and how you can lovingly celebrate his life and lasting legacy.

Jul 10

Love0

Woman in black holding white rose in her hands with memorial table behind her

Planning a Funeral for Mom: A Comprehensive Guide

By christy.kessler Meaningful Funerals, Planning Tools

Moms are special people – irreplaceable and worth remembering. They soothed skinned knees, cooked the best mac and cheese, and made sure you knew you were loved. And now, after her passing, it’s your chance to honor and remember all the wonderful little details that made her “mom” by creating a sweet final tribute for a wonderful woman. This comprehensive guide provides answers to common questions and will help you navigate through the process of planning a personalized and meaningful tribute for your beloved mom.

Please note: If your mom completed funeral prearrangement plans, contact the funeral home she partnered with to review her preferred funeral wishes. With her preferences in hand, you can work closely with the funeral home to ensure that her life is honored in the way she chose.

Choose a Final Disposition

Traditional Burial
Green Burial
Cremation
Natural Organic Reduction

Write a Touching Obituary

Another thing you will do early on in the planning process is write an obituary. You don’t have to be a great writer to beautifully express your love for your mom. Even as you include the expected details, consider how you might add little touches that reflect the individuality of her life.

How to Write a Great Obituary
Writing an Obituary with AI: Dos and Don’ts

Personalize the Funeral Service

No matter what kind of service you put together, the event will be more meaningful if it is personalized. By adding special touches to the service, you can honor your mom’s life uniquely and specifically. You can read “10 Ideas for Making a Funeral More Personal” or “Helping Your Family Personalize a Funeral” for help with brainstorming ideas.

Music

First of all, music sets the mood for a funeral and brings emotions to the forefront. In fact, one of the purposes of a funeral is to allow mourners to grieve together, and in many ways, music says what words cannot. Don’t be afraid to invite people to express grief. Did your mom have some favorite songs, instruments, or musical artists? Consider using any or all of them in the service.

How to Personalize Music at a Funeral
10 Songs to Honor Mom at a Funeral Service

Readings

Second, readings add another facet to a meaningful funeral. They are another way to invite mourners to express their emotions and bring your mom’s unique spirit to the service. Did she have a favorite book? Poem? Was she a person of faith who would want passages read?

How to Personalize Readings at a Funeral
Top 15 Bible Verses for a Celebration of Life Service

Viewing/Visitation

Third, the viewing or visitation is a time for family, friends, coworkers, and neighbors to gather and express support and sympathy. If you include a viewing, family and friends can see your mom one last time and begin to acknowledge the reality of her death. For many, it’s important to physically see the person who has died, and the viewing offers this opportunity.

How to Personalize the Visitation at a Funeral
3 Reasons to Have a Visitation

Eulogy or Remembrance

Fourth, the eulogy may be the single most important aspect of a funeral service. It is the time set aside to acknowledge and affirm the significance of your mom’s life. As you craft a eulogy, you can share treasured memories, quotes, or even her favorite jokes. The eulogy, sometimes called the “remembrance” or the “homily,” can be delivered by a clergy person, a family member, or even by a series of people.

8 Tips for Crafting a Eulogy
How to Personalize the Eulogy at a Funeral

Symbols

Fifth, symbols offer a focus point for mourners as well as a sense of comfort. Common symbols are a cross (or another appropriate religious symbol), flowers, and candles, but they can be almost anything. Did your mom quilt, crochet, paint, or create in any way? You could include her art at the service. If she liked to read, you could display her favorite titles. The possibilities are open. To help you choose symbols that are unique to your mom, consider reading “How to Personalize Symbols at a Funeral.”

Gathering

Sixth, the gathering is an opportunity for friends and family to come together after the funeral service to share stories and support each other. As people gather together, your mom’s life and legacy will be the main topic of conversation. You may even hear stories you’ve never heard before and find comfort in learning something new. To discover more about the gathering and how to personalize it to celebrate your mom’s life, read “How to Personalize the Gathering at a Funeral.”

Actions

And seventh, by including actions at the service, you invite mourners to put their grief into motion. Simply put, mourning is the outward expression of our inward grief. By including actions at the service, you can honor your mom and help others move toward healing. For example, you could provide a book where mourners can write a note to your mom, or you can ask everyone to bring a photo of your mom to place in a photo collage. For more ideas, make sure to read “How to Personalize Healing Actions at a Funeral.”

Opt for a Memorial Service

For some families, a memorial service works better than a traditional service. The main difference is that a memorial service occurs after burial or cremation has already taken place. In other words, the physical body is not present. However, you can still create a personalized final tribute using all of the elements we’ve discussed. Whether the body is present or not, the ultimate goal is to honor your mom’s life and invite her family and friends to pay their respects and say their goodbyes. For more details on creating a personalized memorial service, check out “7 Tips for Planning a Memorial Service.”

Make Decisions on Sympathy Gifts

Sympathy gifts are a way for mourners to express their support and condolences to the family who has lost a loved one. Flowers have historically been a popular sympathy gift. However, in recent years, donations in memoriam to a favorite charity have risen in popularity. Did your mom have a favorite organization or charity that would serve this purpose? If you would like to receive flowers, did your mom have a favorite type?

Decide on a Final Resting Place

Selecting a place of final rest and deciding on a grave marker are important parts of the planning process. Not only do you ensure that your mom’s name is remembered, but you also provide a permanent place where friends and family can go to mourn or to talk when missing your mom hits hardest.

4 Ways Visiting a Loved One’s Grave Can Help You Grieve
5 Reasons to Establish a Permanent Memorial

Explore Burial Benefits for Veterans

If your mom was a veteran of the Armed Forces, she may be eligible for certain burial benefits through the Department of Veterans Affairs. Your funeral director can help you look into these benefits to see if any of them are beneficial to you and your family.

Veterans’ Burial Benefits Checklist
5 Key Veteran Burial Benefits You Should Know

Planning a service for a loved one is hard, but it can also be a meaningful and beautiful experience. As you plan a fitting tribute for your precious mom, may you find comfort and moments of joy in remembering who she is, what she means to you, and how you can lovingly celebrate her life and lasting legacy.

Jun 18

Love0

Collection of printed and digital photos

How to Create a Memorial Video in 5 Easy Steps

By Kaylan Frank Educational, Meaningful Funerals, Personalization

During times of loss, finding meaningful ways to reflect on cherished memories can bring comfort to those in mourning. By scrolling through photos or watching videos, you feel just a little bit closer to that special person. As you journey through the big and small moments of their life, you uncover the truly meaningful experiences that defined them.

Memorial videos are an excellent way to capture these sweet moments and tell your loved one’s story. And if you choose to include a memorial video at the service, you can honor their legacy and invite everyone to reflect on the gratitude they feel for being so lucky to have known such an incredible person.

But how do you create a memorial video? Whether you’re preparing a tribute for a public service or collecting memories to share privately, these 5 steps will help you craft a memorial video that truly captures your loved one’s unique story.

1. Gather

Start by thinking about moments and relationships that shaped your loved one’s life, including milestones and special events. Then, begin to compile the photos and videos together. Gathering images that showcase their hobbies, personal accomplishments, or community involvement is a great way to celebrate their memory.

Also, consider inviting close family members and friends to share their images so you can create a meaningful and healing experience for everyone involved. To make collaboration easy, set up a shared digital folder where friends and family, including those who live far away, can contribute their photos and videos. Printed photos can be scanned or digitized using a scanning app before uploading them to the folder.

Alongside these images, you can also gather and combine short video clips of your loved one from various moments in their life. Also, consider including video messages from friends and family who want to share stories or memories, especially from those unable to attend. By combining digitized photos and video elements, you create a more meaningful tribute that reflects the love, memories, and connections they shared.

2. Choose a Video Tribute Program

After you’ve collected and organized your chosen photos and videos, it’s time to choose a tool to help you create the memorial video. There are plenty of accessible online programs you can use (Canva, Flixier, Adobe Express) to create a personalized tribute for your loved one. Alternatively, you can get recommendations from people you know or ask the funeral home if they can create a video for you.

As you review your program options, here are some things to keep in mind:

Choose an easy-to-use program, so you spend more time creating and less time troubleshooting.
Make sure the software fits your skill set and won’t add stress to an already stressful time.
Select a program that has an extensive royalty-free music library or allows you to easily upload your own.
Check if the software includes tools for editing any photos that may need a touch-up.
Save time by using predesigned templates with an overall theme that best fits your loved one’s personality.

If you find that you need help assembling the video, don’t be afraid to ask. Reach out to a friend or family member, or ask the funeral home if they can assist you.

3. Personalize

As you personalize the video, one of the most important things is to choose a structure that is thoughtfully arranged and tells your loved one’s story. You can organize photos chronologically, group them by themes like childhood, family, work, hobbies, or accomplishments, or even mix things up for variety.

Music or audio tracks are a great addition to further personalize a video tribute. Consider including a playlist featuring songs that capture your loved one’s unique personality or bring back special moments. Music can make us aware of our feelings, evoke memories, and bring comfort to those who are struggling.

Man walking down a street and listening to music

Some video-making software includes frames or decorative elements. Think about how these options could best serve the storytelling and structure of the video. You can also add meaningful quotes, scripture, or personal quotes or mantras to enrich the story.

Lastly, consider how you’ll pace the sections of the tribute or each image’s screentime. For images with text, you may want to display the image for at least 5-7 seconds. This timeframe allows viewers enough opportunity to read the text and briefly pause for reflection. A well-paced video keeps viewers engaged and makes each moment more meaningful.

Overall, your goal is to honor your loved one’s story and let their personality shine through. Choose images, music, and words that reflect what made them special. These personal touches will make your tribute both heartfelt and memorable.

4. Review

Once you’ve finished assembling the video, watch it all the way through and ask a trusted friend or family member to review it for any edits or improvements. Some good things to keep in mind when editing:

Check for any duplicate photos
Avoid harsh or distracting transitions
Keep the pacing in mind, giving more screen time to important moments
Test the audio levels between music and video
Check for any typos and misspellings
Make sure the text is large enough to read from a distance

Remember to make a backup copy or duplicate the file in case of unexpected technical issues. Safeguarding your work also ensures you can share and revisit these heartfelt moments with family and friends for years to come.

5. Share

When it’s time to share the video tribute, you have several options. Consider sharing it privately with your family first to allow for an intimate moment of reflection and connection. You could also choose to debut the video at the service, creating a collective experience of remembrance for everyone present.

Another option is social media, which allows you to share memorial tributes across multiple platforms, ensuring your loved one’s memory reaches a broader community.

Additionally, many funeral homes provide online obituary pages where you can upload memorial videos, photos, and heartfelt messages, offering a permanent digital space for tributes. However you decide to share, this type of tribute will honor your loved one’s memory and bring comfort to those who care about them.

Couple looking at ipad together on a couch

Hopefully these 5 steps have given you a clear understanding of how to create a meaningful and unique memorial video. The video will help you honor your loved one’s life, celebrate the moments that mattered most, and provide a heartfelt tribute that unites family and friends in remembrance. By thoughtfully gathering, weaving together, and sharing the memories that make up your loved one’s precious life, you help ensure their impact lives on in the hearts of all who knew them.

Jun 11

Love0

Readings for a Veteran’s Funeral

By christy.kessler Explore Options, Meaningful Funerals, Veterans

When you’re personalizing a beloved veteran’s final tribute, consider using readings to bring much-deserved attention to their years of service and sacrifice. The readings you choose can complement any remarks made by service buddies, family, and friends. Similarly, you can pair the readings with meaningful music to create a truly one-of-a-kind send-off that strikes the balance between your loved one’s personal life and their time as a servicemember.

While you can use whatever readings you prefer, here are a few ideas to get you started!

Include the Service Branch’s Creed

First of all, consider including a reading of your veteran’s branch creed. In many ways, the creed encapsulates and expresses the values and principles of each branch as well as showcasing your veteran’s commitment and readiness to serve.

The Rifleman’s Creed (U.S. Marine Corps)
Sailor’s Creed (U.S. Navy)
Soldier’s Creed (U.S. Army)
Airman’s Creed (U.S. Air Force)

Read Aloud the Branch’s March Song

Another way you can personalize the readings at a veteran’s funeral is to read aloud the words of the service branch’s march song. Because march song are deeply rooted in history and tradition, they can create a sense of unity, discipline, and resilience. Reading the cherished words can be the perfect way to honor your veteran at their final send-off.

Marine’s Hymn (U.S. Marine Corps)
Anchors Aweigh (U.S. Navy)
The Army Goes Rolling Along (U.S. Army)
Wild Blue Yonder (U.S. Air Force)

Choose a Poem that Highlights the Values of Military Service

Poetry is a beautiful avenue for emotional expression, personal reflection, and human connection. Sometimes, we see our own personal thoughts and sentiments written in a way that deeply resonates. To honor your veteran, you could choose a meaningful poem (or multiple poems) that highlights their legacy of duty and honor. Here are 5 examples to get you started.

“Soldier’s Rest” (Unknown)

A soldier’s rest, beneath the sky so wide,
Their duty done, their honor as their guide.
Through fields of war, they marched with pride,
For freedom’s cause, they stood side by side.
Now in the heavens, they’ve found their peace,
Their battle scars have found release.
The bugle plays a final note,
Their legacy in every throat.

“Still A Soldier” (Timothy Emmons)

I lay here today a soldier
I know some don’t understand
I will try to explain
So maybe you can
I served my country
For many a year
I retired long ago
The soldier still here
I put on my uniform
I wore it to foreign lands
The soldier I was
Is still in the man
I have been a husband, father, and friend
To some of you here
But I’ve been a soldier all along
Even after so many a year
My final salute
I render today
I’m still a soldier
I’m just on my way.

“Eternal Guard” (Unknown)

An eternal guard in heavens so vast,
A veteran’s soul, their duty cast.
They served with valor, heart so true,
For colors red, and white, and blue.
Now angels watch where they reside,
Their courage lives, it never died.
The nation mourns, yet holds them near,
A hero’s light that knows no fear.

“We Remember Them” (Rabbis Sylvan Kamens and Jack Riemer)

At the rising of the sun and at its going down
We remember them.

At the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter
We remember them.

At the opening of the buds and in the rebirth of spring
We remember them.

At the blueness of the skies and in the warmth of summer
We remember them.

At the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of autumn
We remember them.

At the beginning of the year and when it ends
We remember them.

As long as we live, they too will live;
for they are now a part of us

as we remember them.
When we are weary and in need of strength

We remember them.
When we are lost and sick at heart

We remember them.
When we have joy we crave to share

We remember them.
When we have decisions that are difficult to make

We remember them.
When we have achievements that are based on theirs

We remember them.
As long as we live, they too will live;

for they are now a part of us
as we remember them.

“Bury Me with Soldiers” (Rev. Charles R. Fink)

I’ve played a lot of roles in life;
I’ve met a lot of men.
I’ve done some things I’d like to think
I wouldn’t do again
And though I’m young, I’m old enough
To know someday I’ll die.
And think about what lies beyond, And
Besides whom I would lie.

Perhaps it doesn’t matter much;
Still if I had my choice,
I’d want a grave amongst soldiers when
At last death quells my voice
I’m sick of the hypocrisy
Of lectures by the wise
I’ll take the man with all his flaws
Who goes, though scared, and dies.

The troops I know were commonplace;
They didn’t want the war
They fought because their fathers and
Their father’s fathers had before.
They cursed and killed and wept –
God knows they’re easy to deride –
But bury me with men like these;
They faced the guns and died.

It’s funny when you think of it,
The way we got along.
We’d come from different worlds
To live in one, where no one belongs
I didn’t even like them all and,
I’m sure they’d all agree.
Yet, I would give my life for them,
I hope. Some would for me.

So bury me with soldiers, please
Though much maligned they be
Yes, bury me with soldiers, for
I miss their company.
We will not soon see their like again
We’ve had our fill of war.
But, bury me with men like them
Till someone else does more!

Select a Bible Verse that Focuses on Service and Sacrifice

If you are a family rooted in the Christian faith, then you might consider selecting a Bible verse that focuses on your veteran’s values. By choosing to join the Armed Forces, your veteran decided to put others’ safety above their own and serve a cause greater than themselves. There are many Bible verses that capture this attitude and could add greater depth to a loved one’s final tribute.

Here are a few to consider:

John 15:13: “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”
2 Timothy 4:7: “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”
Joshua 1:9: “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Philippians 2:3-4: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”
Isaiah 41:10: “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Psalm 18:2: “The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.”

However, if you follow a different religion, the same principle applies. Consider reading passages from your holy book that express the values of kindness, service, and commitment to others.

Older man in uniform standing and facing an American flag

What’s Next?

Hopefully these examples have sparked some ideas in you! Or perhaps, one of them felt like the right choice to honor your veteran’s life. On the other hand, if none of them spoke to you, that’s okay. There are so many other poems, scriptures, and readings out there that can properly honor and celebrate your veteran’s life.

If you’d like some assistance, consider chatting with your trusted funeral director. They can brainstorm additional ideas for creating a personalized and meaningful final tribute that honors your veteran’s service, sacrifice, and commitment to duty and peace.

Also, read “20 Ideas for Personalizing a Veteran’s Final Tribute” for more suggestions!

May 26

Love0

Funeral Celebrants: How Can They Help Your Family?

By christy.kessler Educational, Explore Options, Meaningful Funerals, Planning Tools

When you’re planning a final tribute for a loved one, you don’t want the last words spoken over them to be hollow, empty, or insincere. Instead, the words should be real, kind, true, and an accurate reflection of who they were as a person. A funeral celebrant can help you create a beautiful send-off that feels personal, meaningful, and genuine.

But what is a funeral celebrant, and how can they help? Let’s talk about it.

What is a Funeral Celebrant?

A funeral celebrant leads and officiates a funeral or memorial service, religious or non-religious, helping create a personalized and meaningful ceremony for the person who has died. In the United States, a funeral celebrant is often not a member of the clergy, but they can be.

Their main role is to tell a story – the story of your loved one’s life. The service is about remembrance and celebration, heartache and joy. The celebrant will work closely with you to tailor the services to meet your needs and wishes, honoring your loved one’s life and personality.

They are skilled public speakers who adapt and adjust to your family’s requests. Whether it’s a solemn occasion requiring decorum and poise or a joyous celebration calling for an inspirational and cheerful tone, a funeral celebrant can strike the right balance.

A celebrant can be particularly helpful for families who are non-religious. For those who regularly attend a place of worship, a clergy member is often available to officiate the service (if you wish), but for those who are non-religious, a funeral celebrant can fill the role.

How Can a Funeral Celebrant Help You?

While the funeral director coordinates all the service details, they don’t prepare the actual program for the event or officiate. The order of events and what’s included in the service are up to the family. This is where the celebrant can step in and become a huge help.

Here are several ways that the funeral celebrant can help you before, during, and after a loved one’s service:

Learn about your loved one so they can prepare personalized remarks
Help to plan the order of service, if you wish
Suggest and coordinate readings, music, poems, or hymns
Write and deliver a personalized eulogy (based on stories you shared)
Keep you informed, so you never feel left out or overwhelmed
Ensure that the program moves smoothly from one speaker to the next
Provide logistical and emotional support throughout the planning process
Keep the event on track while staying sensitive and adapting as needed
Provide feedback to family or friends who’d like to speak at the funeral
Coordinate with the funeral home staff and other service providers as needed
Lead the ceremony with warmth, sensitivity, and kindness
Conduct the graveside service, if you wish

Planning and hosting a funeral may feel overwhelming when you’re processing and grieving a loss. The celebrant can step in and act as both storyteller and organizer, ensuring that your wishes for the service come to pass with attention to detail and authenticity.

What Should I Expect When Meeting with a Celebrant?

Once you’ve decided to use a celebrant, they will contact you for a chat, either in person or via video or phone call. If you wish to meet in person, they can come to your home or you can meet at an agreed-upon location.

When you meet the celebrant, they should put you at ease right away. They will ask questions about your loved one’s life, values, and personality because they want to understand who they were. By listening to your stories and memories, the celebrant can craft their words and presentation to reflect your loved one’s life.

If you wish, the celebrant can also discuss options for the funeral service and offer suggestions to help you personalize the service even more. Throughout it all, they will provide emotional and logistical support as you make choices that are best for your family and honor your loved one’s life.

What Questions Should I Ask the Funeral Celebrant?

While the celebrant will ask you many questions during your time together, you can also ask questions to get to know the celebrant and learn more how they work. It’s important that you work well together, and a few questions can help you determine whether your personalities and practices are compatible.

Here are a few questions you might consider asking:

How long have you been practicing as a funeral celebrant?
What is your training and experience?
Can you provide testimonials or references?
What process do you follow on the day of the funeral?
What do you do when something goes wrong at the funeral?
Do you have any specific ideas or themes in mind for the funeral service?
How will you help us create a service that reflects the personality of our loved one?
How much do you charge for your services?
Are you comfortable working with both religious and non-religious families?
Do you have experience working with families from different cultures or religions?

What’s the Difference Between a Celebrant and a Funeral Director?

While the roles overlap in some duties, they are distinct and separate.

Celebrant

A celebrant serves as a storyteller, guide, writer, speaker, and master of ceremonies. They conduct religious or non-religious services, depending on the religion’s requirements. Their main role is to lead and direct any final services and ensure everything runs smoothly while you honor and remember a loved one. They do not assist with anything related to the burial or cremation (unless they are also a trained funeral director).

Funeral Director

A funeral director is trained to support grieving families by coordinating every aspect of burial or cremation, including preparation of the body, working with the cemetery, securing permits, and filing for a death certificate. They also assist with third-party services (such as florists) and with planning final services like coordinating the viewing, funeral or memorial service, or graveside service. They do not lead or conduct the final tribute or any other remembrance events.

Do I Need a Funeral Celebrant?

You do not specifically need a celebrant, but you DO need someone to lead the service. You may ask a friend, family member, or clergy person to officiate. Celebrants are simply another option. They can be especially helpful if you don’t have a clergy person in mind or if family and friends don’t feel up to leading the service. No matter who you choose – clergy, family, friend, celebrant – always select the person who best fits your family’s needs and can meaningfully honor your loved one’s life.

How Much Do Celebrants Cost?

Celebrant fees vary, but compensation or an honorarium is expected. Ask the funeral home for a recommendation or rely on the funeral director to engage a celebrant’s services on your behalf. Once a celebrant is selected, discuss fee expectations. If the celebrant is familiar to the funeral home, the funeral director can share the celebrant’s typical rates.

Hopefully, you now have a better and deeper understanding of the funeral celebrant and the value their services can bring to you and your family. If you have more questions about celebrants or would like to meet with one locally, contact your trusted funeral home. They can point you in the right direction and help you find a celebrant who will help you honor your loved one’s life in a way that feels right and good.

Apr 07

Love0

12 Songs to Honor Dad at a Funeral Service

By christy.kessler Explore Options, Meaningful Funerals, Music

For many people, a dad is so much more than just another family member. He’s a protective guardian and a strong refuge. He offers care, provision, laughter, and crazy shenanigans. He supports, teaches, connects, and loves. When you lose someone so important to your life, the urge to honor them in a special way is strong. If you are planning a personalized final tribute for a loving father, consider including one of these 12 songs to honor his life and reflect how you feel about him.

Father holding son outside as son holds a model airplane

This list is organized into three categories: songs from a daughter, songs from a son, and songs that can be used by anyone to honor their dad. Let’s get started!

Songs from a Daughter

1. Fathers & Daughters (Michael Bolton)

When times are hard, I know you’ll be strong
I’ll be there in your heart when you’ll carry on
Like moonlight on the water, and sunlight in the sky
Fathers and daughters never say goodbye

Inspired by Michael Bolton’s relationship with his own three daughters, this heartfelt ballad captures the emotional connection between fathers and daughters. With its themes of love, protection, and hope, it highlights the way a father will be a guiding presence through every part of life, even after they’re gone. This song perfectly honors a dad whose steady support has always been a pillar of strength in your life.

2. Daddy’s Hands (Holly Dunn)

If I could do things over, I’d live my life again
And never take for granted the love in daddy’s hands

This all-time country classic celebrates fathers and their quiet strength and dedication to family. Based on Dunn’s relationship with her own father, it showcases the many hats that dads wear. From praying and calming nightmares to providing for the family and loving Mama well, this beloved melody brings tears to the eyes and fullness to the heart. Give it a listen and consider including this song in your selections to honor your father.

3. Lullabye (Goodnight, My Angel) (Billy Joel)

Wherever you may go
No matter where you are
I never will be very far away

With its softness and aching tenderness, this is one of Billy Joel’s most touching songs. Inspired by his daughter, Joel incorporates themes of protection, love, comfort, and the timeless connection between father and daughter across time and distance. The lyrics touch on death and how the love between a father and his daughter will always survive, saying “you’ll always be a part of me.” For those who want to highlight the transcendence of love beyond death, this song is a perfect complement to a father’s final tribute.

4. Butterfly Kisses (Bob Carlisle)

Oh, with all that I’ve done wrong
I must have done something right
To deserve her love every morning

This Grammy Award-winning song has become meaningful to so many fathers and daughters across the nation. With its themes of growing up, letting go, and loving deeply, its message is relatable and something many fathers experience as their daughters become women. If you shared a loving connection with your dad, then this song may be a beautiful way to honor that relationship while saying goodbye.

Songs from a Son

5. My Old Man (Zac Brown Band)

I can still remember every lesson he taught me
Growing up learning how to be
Like my old man

This timeless song delves into the complexities of the father-son relationship, thoughtfully reflecting on how a son learns from his father and seeks to imitate him in so many ways. Filled with raw emotion and meaningful lyrics, the song captures the essence of paternal love and its impact on young sons. For the son who aspires to become just like his old man, this song can be a “Thank you” and a “I’ll make you proud” at a father’s final tribute.

6. Monsters (James Blunt)

No need to forgive, no need to forget
I know your mistakes and you know mine
And while you’re sleeping, I’ll try to make you proud

If you’ve never heard James Blunt’s “Monsters,” then bring out the tissues before listening. Written during a time when his father was facing imminent kidney failure, Blunt’s lyrics are real, visceral, and clearly showcase just how much his father means to him. For those with a father facing a terminal illness or who has died from a chronic disease, this poignant song can serve as a heartfelt farewell and a message of love and care.

7. Thank You for Being My Dad (Jon Barker)

Thank you for shaping my life
Thank you for teaching me all you can
You are no ordinary man, no no
You make me everything I am

A popular choice for a father’s funeral, this song expresses deep gratitude and appreciation for a father’s guidance, love, and support. With its positive and melodic tone, it is soothing even as the lyrics convey the importance of communicating the impact of a father’s love. If you didn’t get a chance to say “thank you” to your dad or want to honor him again as you say goodbye, consider adding this memorable song to the funeral program.

8. Love Without End, Amen (George Strait)

He said, “Daddies don’t just love their children
Every now and then, It’s a love without end, amen”

From award-winning country artist George Strait, this captivating and emotional song tells the story of a father’s unconditional love for his son. No matter what the child has done, his father’s love will be a “love without end, amen.” There is an unbreakable bond between father and child, and the lyrics capture the unwavering and constant nature of the love that binds. This country classic would be a beautiful addition to any dad’s final tribute.

Songs from Anyone

9. Fall on Me (Andrea Bocelli and Matteo Bocelli)

I close my eyes, and I’m seeing you everywhere
I step outside, it’s like I’m breathing you in the air
I can feel you’re there

With its soaring vocals and emotional delivery, this stunning song is a duet between father-and-son vocalists, Andrea and Matteo Bocelli. As you listen, you can hear the deep love and affection shared between the two men. While the words are referencing the ability to fall on a higher power for guidance and direction, the same lyrics easily apply to a loving father on Earth. Consider including this song as a reminder that a father’s love never ends and will continue to provide light and hope in the future.

10. Kind and Generous (Natalie Merchant)

Oh, I want to thank you for so many gifts
You gave with love and tenderness
I want to thank you

In this lovely song, Merchant shares a message of profound gratitude for the generous, selfless, and kind acts that make a significant impact on our lives. While it’s not written specifically to a father, the song’s words paint a picture of a relationship based on genuine care and support. As you say a final farewell to your dad, this song can convey the deep and abiding gratitude you feel for his place in your life and the deep love you shared.

11. Dance with My Father (Luther Vandross)

I’d play a song that would never ever end
‘Cause I’d love, love, love
To dance with my father again

Based on Vandross’s life with his father (who died when Vandross was seven), this poignant ballad leans into the importance of memory. The lyrics recall fond childhood memories and capture the essence of a loving and secure home. The yearning for one last dance, one final moment, together is something many grieving children (of any age) can relate to. With its emotional depth and powerful delivery, this song is a heartfelt tribute for any service.

12. Footprints in the Sand (Leona Lewis)

I promise you
I’m always there
When your heart is filled with sorrow and despair
And I’ll carry you

Inspired by the spiritual poem of the same name, this song emphasizes the fact that we are never alone and highlights the strength and comfort that can be found in fatherly relationships. Whether you are leaning into a heavenly Father or the memory of your earthly father, that relationship can be a steadying influence and a lifelong comfort. If your father helped carry your hurts and burdens, this song can honor that part of his life and legacy.

As you plan a personalized tribute for your dad, you are not limited to the songs on this list. These are merely a starting place and meant to inspire you. If there’s a song that always reminds you of your dad or that he sang regularly, include that song. The goal of personalizing the music at a funeral service is to capture the person’s unique life and personality. So, think of who your dad was and choose music that feels meaningful and reflects your unique relationship.

Additional Resources

For more suggestions on songs to include at a funeral service, check out the resources below:

By decade:

Feb 09

Love0

Woman in black holding red rose near her heart

Unique Venue Ideas for a Celebration of Life Service

By christy.kessler Meaningful Funerals

Losing a loved one can bring the heart and soul so much comfort to honor and remember that beloved life in a special and meaningful way. In fact, creating a personalized final tribute can make a big difference on your grief journey.

According to author, educator, and grief expert Dr. Alan Wolfelt, “People who take the time and make the effort to create meaningful funeral arrangements when someone loved dies…emerge changed, more authentic and purposeful. The best funerals remind us how we should live.” One way to personalize a funeral is to choose a venue that is unique and special to the person whose life you are honoring. But how do you get started?

Questions to Ask Yourself

The options for a special venue are numerous, but it’s helpful to ask yourself a few questions as you brainstorm.

What things or places were most important to my loved one?
What did my loved one value?
Where did my loved one enjoy spending their time?
What hobbies or interests did my loved one enjoy the most?
Is there a place that instantly comes to mind when I think about my loved one?

If your mind is drawing a blank, you can consult with a trusted funeral director or talk with family members and friends to come up with options. And to spark your creativity, here are a few ideas!

5 Venue Ideas for a Celebration of Life Service

1. Golf Course or Club

If your loved one was an active golfer, it might be meaningful to coordinate part of the service at a favorite hole on the course. After a memorial service on the green, you could move into the clubhouse. Once there, you can display your loved one’s clubs, photos, and even ask golfing buddies to share tales of their golfing adventures.

2. A Tribute at Sea

If your loved one was most at home on a boat, you could rent a vessel and have a seaworthy ceremony. While on the water, spread flowers on the water or go fishing in their honor. Alternatively, you could scatter your loved one’s ashes at sea (make sure you follow local ordinances) or purchase a biodegradable urn and lay them to rest beneath the waves. If you want, you can even turn their ashes into a barrier reef to help heal the ocean!

3. Local Baseball Diamond or Park

If your loved one was a huge fan of softball/baseball or was a player or coach, you might consider holding the service at a local park or baseball diamond. In addition to having the service, you could invite family, friends, and neighbors to play a game in your loved one’s honor. To add another special touch, you could set up a photo of your loved one in a place of honor on the field or ask everyone to wear special jerseys.

4. Nature Lover’s Outdoor Service

For outdoor lovers, you could ask your funeral director about holding the service at a local botanical garden, park, or private garden (with permission, of course). This would allow you to incorporate the peacefulness of the outdoors into your tribute and share the joy that being surrounded by nature brought to your loved one. Or, if you prefer, many National Parks allow scattering, and you can hold a quiet, private service there to honor your loved one.

5. Beachside Service

Lastly, if your loved one found joy in walking along the beach at sunset, finding unique seashells, or surfing at dawn, perhaps you could coordinate a lakeside or beachside service. You could incorporate a much-loved seashell collection or invite guests to set flowers or lanterns adrift on the water. Bring memorial candles to light as you watch the sun disappear on the horizon and remember the person you love.

These are just a few ideas for how you can personalize the venue for a final tribute. No matter what you’d like to do, bring it up with your funeral director. They will work with you to determine whether an idea is possible. From launching a loved one’s ashes into space to requesting a military funeral at a national cemetery, the funeral home staff will help you create a personalized goodbye that brings peace and comfort to your heart.

Additional Personalization Resources

For more information on how to personalize a loved one’s final goodbye, check out these additional resources that offer suggestions and ideas for a unique tribute.

Dec 30

Love0

Casket spray of white lilies resting on top of wooden casket

7 Elements of a Healing and Meaningful Funeral

By christy.kessler Meaningful Funerals, Planning Tools

“People who take the time and make the effort to create meaningful funeral arrangements when someone loved dies often end up making new arrangements in their own lives. They remember and reconnect with what is most meaningful to them in life…strengthen bonds with family members and friends. They emerge changed, more authentic and purposeful. The best funerals remind us how we should live.” – Dr. Alan Wolfelt

Casket spray of white lilies resting on top of wooden casket

In order for a funeral service to be a healing and meaningful experience, there are 7 tried and true elements that you should consider incorporating. Dr. Wolfelt, nationally respected grief counselor and educator, tells us that these 7 elements are necessary to facilitate the 6 needs that a funeral fulfills:

Acknowledging the reality of the death
Embracing the pain of the loss
Remembering the person who died
Developing a new self-identity
Searching for meaning
Receiving ongoing support from others

And what are the 7 elements? They are music, readings, a viewing/visitation or reception, a eulogy, symbols, a gathering, and actions. If you are planning a funeral, whether because someone you love has died or you are making advance funeral plans, give thoughtful consideration to how you can implement these healing and meaningful elements. Let’s look at each one in a little more detail!

1. Music

Music sets the tone of a funeral and brings emotions to the forefront. In fact, one of the purposes of a funeral is to allow mourners to grieve together, and in many ways, music says what words cannot. So, don’t be afraid to invite people to express grief. Select music that will remind mourners of the person who has died and allow everyone to pay tribute to that special person’s life and legacy in a meaningful way.

Why Include Special Music in a Funeral Ceremony?

How to Personalize Music at a Funeral

Setting the Tone for a Service: A Collection of Funeral Songs

2. Readings

Readings add another facet to a meaningful service. They are another way to not only invite mourners to express their emotions, but readings can also highlight the unique spirit of the one who has died. Did they have a favorite book? Poem? Were they a person of faith who would want passages read? Use these preferences to create a one-of-a-kind tribute.

How do Readings Enhance the Funeral Experience?

How to Personalize Readings at a Funeral

10 Literary Readings for Any Type of Funeral

Top 10 Poems for a Funeral Ceremony

3. Viewing, Visitation, and/or Reception

The viewing, visitation, or reception is a time for family, friends, coworkers, and neighbors to gather and express support and sympathy. If it is decided to have a viewing with the loved one’s body present, it provides an opportunity for mourners to see that special person one more time. No matter which type of event you choose to incorporate, you can personalize the space to tell your loved one’s story through pictures, cherished items, and more.

Viewing vs. Visitation: What’s the Difference?

How to Personalize the Visitation at a Funeral

3 Reasons to Have a Visitation

4. Eulogy

The eulogy may be the single most important aspect of a funeral service. It is the time to acknowledge and affirm the significance of the life lived. It is the moment when friends and family tell the story of a person’s life and reflect on what they love and will miss. With that in mind, share treasured memories, quotes, or even the lost loved one’s favorite jokes. The eulogy, sometimes called the “remembrance” or the “homily,” can be delivered by a clergy person, a family member, or even by a series of people.

8 Tips for Crafting a Eulogy

11 Mistakes to Avoid When Writing a Eulogy

5 Public Speaking Tips for Delivering a Eulogy

5. Symbols

Symbols offer a focus point for the bereaved as well as a sense of comfort. A few common examples are religious symbols (like a cross or Star of David), funeral flowers, and lit candles. In addition to these examples, you could also choose a symbol that is unique to the person who has died. If they were a sports fan, drape their favorite jersey over the casket or urn. For a quilter, you can display quilts, or for a veteran, you can use the American flag. Simply choose symbols that make sense for your loved one’s unique life.

The Importance of Symbols

How to Personalize Symbols at a Funeral

6. Gathering

The gathering is an opportunity for friends and family to come together after the funeral service to share stories and to support each other. During the grief journey, it’s essential to talk about your grief and share the stories on your heart. By including a gathering, you give mourners dedicated time and space to do so. The gathering can be as simple or elaborate as you wish. It’s simply about taking time to talk and to honor the life of the person you all love.

What is the Purpose of a Gathering?

How to Personalize the Gathering at a Funeral

7. Actions

And finally, actions invite mourners to put their grief into motion. What does that mean? In order to facilitate the healing process, it’s important to channel grief into healing actions. At the funeral, this could mean inviting guests to light a candle, take part in the eulogy, or lay a flower on the casket. It could also mean acting as a pallbearer, bringing a potluck dish for the reception, or sitting quietly with the casket to say final goodbyes.

How Do Actions Help Us Heal?

How to Personalize Healing Actions at a Funeral

5 Meaningful Actions to Personalize a Funeral

As you plan a loved one’s final farewell, consider using these 7 elements to create a personalized tribute. By incorporating each one, you will create a sweet, meaningful, and healing experience. Those who come to mourn will leave feeling like they have truly honored the life lived and taken the first healthy step on their grief journey.

Dec 23

Love0

Woman playing a cello, seated by man playing a violin.

12 Ways to Honor the Musician in Your Life

By Becca Corbett Meaningful Funerals, Personalization

Losing a loved one is one of the most difficult things we face in life, but designing a meaningful final goodbye can create a sweet moment of remembrance that will help soothe the pain.

Today, we’re going to talk about ways you can personalize the service to honor a loved one who deeply valued music, whether they sang, wrote songs, played an instrument, or participated in band, orchestra, musical theatre, and more. Let’s get started.

Personalized Ways to Honor the Musician in Your Life

1. Pick a music-related venue

Did you know that you have freedom when choosing the location of a loved one’s final tribute? For music lovers, your local theater, performance hall, or another type of music venue would be a great location for a service. Gathering somewhere that was either meaningful to your loved one or that highlights an area of interest is a wonderful way for people to feel closer to them.

2. Choose a music-inspired guestbook

It’s common practice to ask people to sign a guestbook when they attend the visitation or funeral service. Consider choosing one with a musical theme, such as music notes, vinyl records, or instruments. If you can personalize it, consider including a picture of your loved one playing their favorite instrument. Having a music-themed guestbook gives you a unique way to honor your loved one’s passion for music.

3. Decorate with a music theme

While flowers are commonly used for decoration at a funeral service, there are so many ways that you can get creative! To add a musical theme to the service, you could use flowers made from sheet music, play vinyl on a record player, or display posters of their favorite bands. Additionally, if they were involved in musical theatre or any organized musical group, you could add playbills, programs, ticket stubs, costumes, and other memorabilia associated with that aspect of their life. These special touches add a unique feel to the service and pay tribute to their love of music.

4. Create a collage of photos from performances

If your musician did shows, put on concerts, or played on stage, gather photos of the performances to use during the service. Put the images in a photo album, scatter them on a table, or hang them on the wall for mourners to admire as they reflect on their loved one’s life. By adding these special touches, you can bring a loved one’s past performances to life for mourners who have come to honor their legacy.

5. Display their instrument

Perhaps your loved one played an instrument, or two, or three. To honor the time and commitment your loved one put into honing their craft, consider displaying their instrument(s) during the service. The instrument will become a visual reminder of their love of music. Plus, when people see the instrument, they can reflect on the special moments when they watched your lost loved one play it.

6. Perform songs they wrote

If your musician enjoyed writing song lyrics, you may want to play their personal songs at the service. Print out the lyrics and provide them to guests as they enter the service. Have a musician, band, or family members perform the song and encourage attendees to sing along. Hearing the lyrics your loved one wrote can bring peace and comfort during difficult moments.

7. Show videos of them singing or playing instruments

Alternatively, you could include a memorial video that highlights your loved one’s musical talent. If you have videos of your musician singing or playing instruments, they could be shown on-screen while people are entering or leaving the service. Watching a video of your loved one can help you revisit joyful memories and see the happiness they felt while performing.

8. Play music by their favorite artists

Every music lover will have their favorite musical artists, and you can use those preferences to personalize the service. Did your loved one have a favorite country artist, enjoy jazz, or love a band from their youth? Use their favorite tunes to compile a list of songs to play during the service.

If you want to involve the guests, consider creating a collaborative playlist of songs. Using whatever music streaming service you prefer, share a link with mourners to allow them to add songs that you can play at the service. To ensure the songs are appropriate for the service, review the playlist ahead of time. Additionally, you will need to make sure that the funeral home you partner with for the service has an appropriate license to play copyrighted music. By inviting family and friends to create a playlist together, you give them the chance to participate and reflect on meaningful moments spent with a lost loved one.

9. Reserve seats for musical peers and students

Your musician may have spent part of their life mentoring others or leading musical groups, either as part of their career or during their personal time. If your loved one was a music teacher, voice coach, or band member, reserve a seating section for their students or fellow band members at the service. Providing special seating for guests who were important to your musician is a great way to honor their legacy.

10. Donate to a local musical organization

If your musician was active in a musical band, club, or organization, consider offering the option for people to donate to that cause as an alternative to sending flowers. Memorial contributions will serve as a meaningful way to support a cause that was close to your loved one’s heart.

11. Hand out mementos at the service

Another thoughtful way to honor the musician in your life is to pass out mementos at the service. Not only will the keepsake remind people of your loved one on the day of the service, but it will act as a reminder for years to come.

Here are a few ideas for mementos:

Sheet music of an original song or one of your loved one’s favorite tunes
Guitar picks in a basket
Picture of your loved one performing
Musical note bookmarks

By providing attendees with a meaningful keepsake, you give them a tangible object that will help them process the loss.

12. Design a custom monument

In most cases, monuments are entirely customizable, allowing you to create a unique design to honor your musician. For example, you could add a photo etching, choose the shape of a music note, or have your loved one’s favorite lyrics carved on the stone. Your funeral director or a monument specialist can help you design the perfect monument to honor your loved one. They will discuss your options and answer any questions that you may have about creating a custom monument.

These are just a few ideas to get you started! Musicians bring joy and happiness to people’s lives, and there are so many ways to highlight their musical interest and talent. By planning a personalized service that incorporates music themes, you can pay tribute to their gift, their values, and their unique personality.

Additional Resources

If you’d like more ideas on personalizing a funeral for a loved one, check out these resources:

10 Ideas for Making a Funeral More Personal
Using Color to Personalize a Service
How to Personalize Music at a Funeral
How to Personalize Readings at a Funeral
How to Personalize the Eulogy at a Funeral
How to Personalize Healing Actions at a Funeral
Why Does Funeral Personalization Matter?