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Oct 04
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Woman in mustard yellow cardigan sitting at table, signing documents

Understanding the Living Will & Why It Matters

By Educational, Estate Planning

When planning ahead for the future (even the far future), it’s important to make sure you cover all the bases. That means making decisions about your physical estate, digital estate, funeral plans, and medical care preferences. Today, we’ll discuss the living will and how it helps your family understand your treatment preferences in a medical emergency or life-threatening situation.

Black stethoscope laying on paperwork that says "Living Will Declaration"

What is a Living Will?

First, let’s define the term “living will.” Sometimes confused with the “last will and testament,” the living will has a separate purpose: to communicate your preferences regarding life-prolonging medical treatment. Essentially, the living will spells out the medical treatments you would or would not want used to keep you alive. It provides direction on life-prolonging procedures, treatment for terminal conditions, and vegetative state conditions.

For example, if a person has no brain function after a serious car accident, they might not want to be kept alive with a ventilator. The living will is the document where that person would indicate they do not want a ventilator used to prolong their life under these circumstances.

You can create a living will at any age. And the living will only comes into play if you are in a life-threatening situation and are incapacitated and unable to make decisions for yourself. If you are awake and coherent, the doctors will ask you directly about your care and not consult the living will.

Asian man in brown jacket sitting at a table while opening an envelope with papers inside

Why Would I Create a Living Will?

In cases where a person is unconscious or incapacitated (coma, dementia, brain damage) and is suffering from a terminal illness or life-threatening injury, doctors consult the living will. However, if there’s no living will available, all medical care questions are posed to the spouse, family members, or designated healthcare proxy.

The main reasons to have a living will are four-fold:

  1. Make your medical preferences known to your family, loved ones, and doctors
  2. Relieve your family from having to make difficult medical decisions on your behalf
  3. Reduce confusion or disagreements regarding your medical care
  4. Protect your loved ones from the emotional toll of taking on the responsibility of deciding your life or death

By creating a living will, you decide what’s best for you. In a sense, even in a dire situation, you can still control what happens to you.

Two men reviewing living will documents together

What Medical Decisions Should I Address in the Living Will?

You can address whatever medications or treatments you want in the living will, but here are some things you should consider mentioning:

As you consider your options, remember that you are only recording your wishes for emergency medical situations where you are incapacitated or unable to make decisions yourself.

If you aren’t sure what the pros and cons are of each type of treatment, schedule time with your primary care physician to discuss the implications of each. Also, try not to make decisions without input from others. Include your spouse, partner, or close family members in the discussion.

Man and woman sitting at home and reviewing documents together

How Do I Write a Living Will?

Many states provide a template you can use to record your medical care preferences, but if that isn’t an option, contact an estate planning attorney. They will be familiar with your state’s specific laws and can ensure all your bases are covered.

However, here are a few things to keep in mind as you consider writing a living will:

  • Think about your personal values. Would you want treatment only if a cure were possible? Do you want medical professionals to do everything they can to save your life?
  • Consider your family’s wishes about each type of medical treatment.
  • Take your religious beliefs into account. For some people, religious tenets may dictate the types of care they choose to receive.
  • Many states require you to sign the living will before witnesses or a notary. Talk with an estate planning attorney or familiarize yourself with your state’s requirements.
  • List your healthcare proxy’s name and contact information if you have one. This person makes medical decisions on your behalf, using your living will as a guide. Click here to learn more about how to set up a healthcare proxy.
  • Your living will must be in writing to be legally valid.
  • If you choose to use a living will template, make sure to download the one intended for your state.

As you consider what to include in your living will, remember that you won’t think of every possible medical emergency. Instead of trying to plan for every scenario, address what you can and trust your healthcare proxy or your family’s judgment regarding any unexpected scenarios.

Older woman in bright orange sweater sitting at table, signing a legal document

What Do I Do with My Living Will Once It’s Complete?

Once your living will is signed and witnessed, it’s time to distribute it to all the pertinent people. You will want to:

  • Keep the original in a safe but easily accessible place.
  • Give a copy to your primary care physician.
  • Give a copy to your healthcare proxy if you have one.
  • Discuss your medical decisions with family if you haven’t already.
  • Consider carrying a wallet-sized card that indicates you have a living will and identifying your healthcare proxy by name and contact information.
  • Keep a copy with you when you are traveling.

How Long Does a Living Will Last?

It lasts until you cancel it. To cancel it, all you need to do is destroy all current copies. Make sure that any copies you gave to family members, doctors, or anyone else are destroyed and replaced.

Mature couple sitting down with attorney to discuss and sign legal documents

Can I Change or Revoke My Living Will?

Absolutely! Once a living will is signed, it goes into effect. However, if you want to make changes or revoke it, destroy all copies of the old living will and replace them with your new, updated documentation.

It’s always a good idea to review your living will occasionally, especially if something in your life has changed. For example, have you received a new diagnosis? That might affect how you feel about certain medical treatments. Have you married or divorced? You might want to update your healthcare proxy.

A good rule of thumb is to review your living will every ten years or so. Not only might your personal circumstances have changed, but your stance on certain medical treatments may have altered.

Signing a document, focus on paper and pen

Can My Living Will be Broken or Ignored?

Yes, it can. If you designate a healthcare proxy, that person has the authority to make medical decisions on your behalf and can go against your wishes. This is why choosing someone you trust as your healthcare proxy is important.

Also, your living will can be ignored if it is deemed invalid. For example, if you didn’t get the proper signatures or any previous living wills weren’t destroyed, your current directives may not be followed.

However, if you follow your state’s laws and choose a healthcare proxy you can trust, you should have no problems.

If I Move to Another State, Should I Update My Living Will?

The short answer – maybe. If you decide to move to another state, it would be best to consult an attorney on whether you need to create a new living will. And if you split your time between two homes in different states, ask your attorney if it would be best to have a living will in each state. They can advise you on the best way forward.

Woman in mustard yellow cardigan sitting at table, signing documents

Do I Need a Doctor or a Lawyer to Review My Living Will?

Legally, you do not have to get input from a doctor or a lawyer, but it would be a good idea to do so if possible. They can offer insight from their respective fields and ensure everything is done well and correctly. All decisions are entirely in your hands, so if you disagree with your doctor, that’s fine. But sometimes, you don’t know what you don’t know, and it’s helpful to have an expert by your side.

If you have additional questions about the living will and its purpose in protecting your family and communicating your medical preferences in emergencies or life-threatening situations, contact a local estate planning attorney. They are the best source for accurate information on how to proceed with creating a living will.

DISCLAIMER: Individual circumstances and state laws vary, so only undertake estate planning with the help and assistance of an attorney licensed in your state.

Sep 25
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young boy hugging his grandparents as they smile at him

7 Questions to Ask When Estate Planning with Dependent Children

By Children, Estate Planning

None of us want to think about a time after we’re gone when our children, grandchildren, or other minor dependents may be on their own. But putting together an estate plan is an important step to ensure that your dependents are protected. Plus, having a plan for your dependents can give you peace of mind, knowing they’ll be cared for and provided for.

As you start estate planning with your dependents in mind, here are a few specific questions to consider:

1. Who would you want to have as your dependent’s guardian?

male guardian in light yellow shirt resting his hand on a teen boy's shoulder

Choosing a guardian is one of the most important steps to take when estate planning for your minor dependent. If something happens to you, someone will need to take care of your dependent. A guardian can be a family member or a friend.

As you decide who to name as a guardian, look for someone you trust who gets along with the child and can provide the level of care the child needs. Talk to the potential guardian and make sure they agree before you decide.

Once you know who your dependent’s guardian will be, you’ll need to officially nominate them as part of your will or a power of attorney. Talk to your estate planning attorney to determine which option is best for you.

2. What information does the guardian need to know?

paper cutout of a family in front of a gavel

Even if your chosen guardian is a close family member, there are many things about your minor that they may not know. And if your dependent is very young, they won’t be able to share important information, like their social security information or medical history, with their guardian.

That’s why keeping all important documents organized and in a safe place is important. You should securely store items like your minor dependent’s birth certificate, social security card, medical and vaccination records, and other important documents. Additionally, you may want to include information about their doctors, school records, and any allergies or other health issues.

You should also consider parts of your digital estate relating to your dependents, like any online school accounts, email addresses, or photo albums. Store passwords and login information for these in a secure location like a specific notebook or an online password manager.

As you gather this important information, consult your estate planning attorney to find out where to include information about the location of these documents in your estate plan.

3. Who should make decisions if you’re incapacitated?

red pen laying on a document that says power of attorney

Minor dependents cannot make legal or financial decisions if you become incapacitated. That’s why you need to plan ahead and make sure someone you trust can make those decisions. By creating a power of attorney, you can nominate a trusted person to make legal, financial, and medical decisions if you become incapacitated and cannot make decisions. If you wish, you can also create separate powers of attorney to nominate different people to make decisions in each area.

4. How should your dependent be provided for?

young woman outside holding a little girl on her back who has her arms outstretched like an airplane

When it comes to providing for your dependents financially, you have plenty of options! You can name your dependents as beneficiaries in your will, create a trust to split funds between dependents, or add your dependent as a secondary beneficiary of your life insurance.

However, remember that minors need a legal adult to serve as trustee over any money they inherit before turning 18. The trustee can be the same person you choose as their legal guardian or someone different, as long as it’s someone you trust to manage the inheritance.

What works for one family may not work for yours, so talk to your estate planning attorney to pick the right option for your family. They can also tell you how to nominate a trustee in your estate plan.

5. Do you have any specific requirements for your dependents or their guardian?

young boy hugging his grandparents as they smile at him

What requirements would you have for your minor dependents if something happened to you? Would you want your children to stay together in the same home? Do you want them to stay in the same area and attend the same school?

Think about the things that are non-negotiable for you and your family. Make sure to communicate with your chosen guardian about your wishes for your dependents. If some requirements are costly (e.g., if the guardian would need to move to a different area), consider setting aside extra funds to help cover that cost.

6. Does your dependent have any special needs?

woman smiling at a boy in a wheelchair on a beach

Children and adults with special needs or health concerns may require extra care. If this is the case for your dependent, make sure to consult with their potential guardian and make sure they’re up to the task – especially if your dependent with special needs will need care for the rest of their life.

Once you have guardianship sorted out, consider the costs of the care your dependent needs. One way to provide for their needs is to set up a special needs trust, which can help preserve your assets and ensure your dependent receives the care they need. Check with your estate planning attorney to learn about the requirements for special needs trusts and determine if this option is right for you.

7. How often should you update your estate plan?

person filling out a form by hand with a pen

As life changes, the needs of your family change, too, which means you’ll need to keep your estate plan up to date. Maybe you have a new significant other and want to nominate them as guardian now. Or maybe your financial situation changed and you want your assets distributed differently. In that case, you’ll need to talk to your attorney about updating your estate plan.

Additionally, life may change for your chosen guardian. They may get married, divorced, or have their own kids. Or, due to other changes, they may no longer feel able to care for your dependent. Every few years, or when a major change happens with your chosen guardian, check in with them and see if they still wish to be named as guardian.

Even if no major changes have happened in your life, you’ll still need to check your estate plan every few years to ensure everything matches your wishes.

As you make decisions about providing for your dependent, talk to your trusted friends, family members, and advisors about your choices. Everything is ultimately your decision, but don’t hesitate to ask for help or advice if needed. While making decisions about the future may seem daunting initially, once it’s done, you can rest easy knowing that a plan is in place to care for your dependents.

DISCLAIMER: Individual circumstances and state laws vary, so only undertake estate planning with the help and assistance of an attorney licensed in your state.

More Estate Planning Resources

Aug 29
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Mourners attending a service, placing hands on casket in remembrance

5 Ways Funerals Today Aren’t One-Size-Fits-All

By Educational, Meaningful Funerals, Plan Ahead

Mourners attending a service, placing hands on casket in remembrance

Starting in the mid-1800s, there was a shift in funeral care. This shift was mainly due to the influence of Queen Victoria’s mourning practices on the Western World and the rise of embalming after the assassination of President Abraham Lincoln. The expectation for funerals came to include embalming, a viewing and visitation, service, funeral procession, graveside service, as well as a headstone.

While many people today still choose a traditional funeral as outlined above, things have changed in the last 150+ years. Now, funerals aren’t one-size-fits-all. You get to make more choices regarding how you want your life remembered and celebrated.

So, let’s talk about 5 key ways that you get to choose what’s right for you.

Mature mourners attending a funeral service with casket

1. Choose Your Service

One way you can customize the funeral to fit your needs and personality is by choosing the type of service you want. For example, would you like a traditional funeral service? Or perhaps you’d prefer a memorial service after cremation has taken place? Would you like a viewing or a visitation? If so, would it be a private event or a public event? Alternatively, you might prefer to have your ashes scattered in a special place by the people closest to you.

While the options mentioned above are for the sake of example, you can talk with your family and a trusted local funeral home to better understand all of the possibilities. Then, with that information in hand, you can put your funeral plans in writing so that your loved ones know exactly how to honor your life after you’re gone.

For more resources on the types of services you could select, check out the articles below:

Mourner holding a white flower while standing near an urn and memorial candles

2. Choose Your Disposition

The two most common forms of final disposition in the United States are burial and cremation. While there are pros and cons to each, the choice is up to you. With burial, you can choose traditional burial with or without embalming, or you can opt for green burial. Similarly, with cremation, you can choose cremation by heat or by water.

When deciding which to choose, make sure you consider your family’s needs and your own personal convictions. For example, someone who wants to leave a smaller environmental impact could choose green burial or water cremation, the two options with the smallest footprint. However, if having a viewing is essential to your family or religious needs, you might choose have one before burial or cremation takes place.  It’s entirely up to you and your family.

A few lesser used forms of disposition are burial at sea, recomposition burial (only available in select states), or body donation to science. For more information about all of these forms of final disposition, check out the resources below:

Woman on her knees visiting a loved one's grave

3. Choose Your Final Resting Place

Next up is choosing your final resting place. Not only can you personally choose the cemetery, but you also decide what kind of placement you want. With burial, you could opt for a single or double plot, a mausoleum, or even an above-ground crypt, to name a few. The cemetery may even have options like choosing a plot near a pond, a bench, or a lovely view.

On the other hand, with cremation, you could choose placement in a columbarium, a glass-front niche, scattering (at a cemetery or a special place), or even urn burial. Depending on the cemetery, there may be other options available. And if you are a veteran, there are national and state veteran cemeteries to consider as well as veterans’ burial benefits.

For more information about choosing a final resting place, check out the resources below and start talking with cemeteries in your area. You can consider the options available at each one and decide which works best for you.

Lit memorial candles at a church or service; funerals aren't one-size-fits-all

4. Choose Your Personalized Details

Personalization is perhaps the best way to create a truly unique final tribute. Special touches and custom details tailor the service to tell the story of your particular life and its events. There are so many ways to personalize the funeral. Just think – weddings, birthday parties, anniversary celebrations, they all look different because they are custom to the people being celebrated. The same personalization can be true for any funeral or memorial service.

When adding meaningful details, there are a number of things to consider. You could add personalized music, readings, symbols, actions, or choose a unique location. You could also include photos, a memorial tribute video, or serve the deceased’s favorite foods at the reception.

The options are truly endless, so check out these resources and then discuss personalization with a trusted funeral director. They will brainstorm with you, discuss the possibilities, and work to make them a reality.

Older couple sitting at home, using a calculator to determine cost; funerals aren't one-size-fits-all

5. Choose Your Budget

One important aspect of the funeral that’s in your hands is cost. While you can’t control the cost of materials, merchandise, and services, you do get to decide which ones you want. The Federal Trade Commission requires that every funeral home have a General Price List that outlines all of their services and merchandise. With this list, you can pick and choose what you want and ensure that the cost of the funeral stays within your budget.

Plus, at a good funeral home, the staff will work with you to create a personalized plan that fits your needs. So, go to the funeral home with a realistic range of what you are willing to spend on a service, and they will work with you to honor that. If they push you toward the most expensive options, that’s a warning sign that you should find another funeral home to partner with.

Mature couple sitting in the comfort of their home talking to a preplanning specialist; funerals aren't one-size-fits-all

Next Steps: Record Your Wishes for the Future

And one final thing that must be included is the importance of writing down your wishes once you’ve made decisions. It doesn’t do your family any good if you’ve decided what you want but never communicate it. Thankfully, planning ahead (also known as preplanning or advance funeral planning) is very common and can take an incredible weight off your family’s shoulders. Simply make an appointment at your chosen funeral home to get started. With your funeral plans written down, your family will have a roadmap to understanding what you want. Otherwise, they may be left scrambling after the loss, not sure what to choose.

Also, if you wish, you can pay in advance or set up a funeral insurance policy to cover the total cost. Alternatively, you can set aside funds in your personal accounts or use a life insurance policy. However, keep in mind, setting aside enough funds may be difficult due to rising costs and inflation. And with life insurance policies, funds may not be available for 6-8 weeks. This means your family may need to pay out of pocket for any funeral services and be reimbursed later.

To learn more about the benefits of planning ahead and how to pay for a funeral, check out the resources here:

By writing down your funeral wishes, you can communicate your personalized preferences to those you love. And with that information, they can make sure that your final tribute isn’t one-size-fits-all. It’s the size that uniquely fits YOU.

Jul 02
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Person sitting at desk in front of a laptop, doing a Google search

Digital Estate Planning: Understanding Google’s Inactive Account Manager

By Educational, Estate Planning

With the introduction of the internet, estate planning became a smidge more complicated than it used to be. Why? Because now we must take our digital (online) estate into account when creating an estate plan. However, there are ways to keep it simple! Today, let’s talk about Google accounts, the Inactive Account Manager, and how you can set up your Google accounts to be accessible when the unexpected happens.

Person sitting at desk in front of a laptop, doing a Google search

What is the Inactive Account Manager?

The Inactive Account Manager allows you to give someone else access to your Google accounts if you become inactive. Generally speaking, if a Google account isn’t used for two years, then Google considers it inactive. At that time, Google will begin emailing you, and if there’s no response after a period of time, they will automatically delete your accounts.

However, if you set up “Trusted Contact(s)” (up to 10 people) through the Inactive Account Manager, they will get emails about your inactive account, have access to it, and can save any files, photos, videos, etc. that would otherwise be lost. During the set-up process, you will set permissions on what type of information each Trusted Contact can access.

What qualifies as a Google account?

Google is a big company, responsible for many types of accounts you may be familiar with. For example, do you have a Gmail email address? Do you have a YouTube account? Google Photos? Google Drive? There’s also Google Meet, Google Maps, or the Google Play Store. And this isn’t even the full list. So, if you use Google products, anything you have saved could be deleted should you become inactive.

Man at home at his desk working on the computer, hand on mouse

What does Google consider “inactivity”?

There are many actions you can take to let Google know that you are still alive and active. These include:

  • Reading or sending an email
  • Using Google Drive
  • Downloading an app
  • Sharing a photo or downloading from Google Photos
  • Watching a YouTube video
  • Searching on Google
  • Signing in to a Google account

As long as you complete an action like one of these, Google will consider you active. And your activity is tracked by account – not device. So, if you are active on your laptop one day and your phone the next, as long as both are signed into your Google account, it will be recorded as activity.

However, if you have more than one Google account, you’ll need to be active in each one individually to avoid inactivity alerts.

What if I’m inactive but not deceased?

Before emailing your Trusted Contact, Google will first attempt to contact you several times. If you are still alive and well, you can access your accounts to create some activity. Doing so will prevent any emails from being sent to your Trusted Contact(s). However, if there’s no response from you, Google will email your Trusted Contact(s).

Man and wife at kitchen table with laptop in front of them

What type of notification will my Trusted Contact(s) receive?

When you set up your Inactive Account Manager, you will be asked when you want Trusted Contact(s) to be notified. Google defaults to two years of inactivity, but you can choose a shorter time period, if you wish.

When that time period passes, your Trusted Contact(s) will receive an email notification. This email will contain a Subject Line and personal message written by you (during the set-up phase) as well as a footer explaining that Google is sending the email on your behalf. The email will also include a list of data that the Trusted Contact has access to view.

When your Trusted Contact(s) logs into your account, their identity will be verified before they are given access. And of course, let whomever you choose know that you have selected them as your Trusted Contact(s). This way, the email won’t be confusing to them or feel out of the blue.

Mature woman in blue shirt sitting on couch, working on laptop and writing down notes

What happens if I don’t set up an Inactive Account Manager?

First, Google will attempt to reach you by sending multiple emails to your Gmail address and to any recovery email you added when the account was created. If there’s no response from you, your Google accounts will be deleted, and any files will be lost. If that’s your preference, then there’s no need to set up an Inactive Account Manager.

However, if you’d like your family to have time to download any files, photos, or videos before they are deleted, then you might consider setting up an Inactive Account Manager. Or, on the flip side, if your family would like access to your files (even if you don’t care), it can be a big hassle for them to try to request access after your death. By being proactive about giving them access, you save a lot of time and headaches.

Why does Google delete old accounts?

It’s mostly for security reasons. Older accounts are more likely to become compromised, making them susceptible to spam or malicious intent. To prevent misuse, Google monitors activity and deletes inactive accounts.

Man in button-down shirt holding a tablet, focus on tablet

How do I set up an Inactive Account Manager?

When you create a Google account, the Inactive Account Manager function is dormant. You must set it up manually. This way you have control over who accesses your data if you become incapacitated or pass away.

To set up your Google Inactive Account Manager, get on one of your electronic devices (phone, tablet, laptop) and click https://myaccount.google.com/inactive. Google will prompt you to sign in (if you aren’t already) and will walk you through the set-up process.

During the set-up process, you can expect to:

  • Choose an inactive period (instead of Google’s default of two years, you can choose a shorter timeframe to be contacted about inactivity)
  • Add relevant details, like your phone number, email address, and recovery email address
  • Add the name, email address, and phone number of your Trusted Contacts (up to 10 people; they do not have to have a Google email address)
  • Select which services each Trusted Contact has access to (you control what they can see)
  • Write out your custom auto-reply message (your Trusted Contacts will receive this message if your account becomes inactive)
  • Review and confirm your preferences

In the future, if you decide you’d no longer like to use the Inactive Account Manager and would prefer that Google just delete your account, you can go to the Inactive Account Manager page again and select “Turn off my plan” under the “Manage your plan” section. There’s also an “Edit” section if you want to update your auto-reply email or change your Trusted Contacts.

Person sitting at table at home with laptop and cup of coffee

I’ve set up my Inactive Account Manager – what’s next?

Now, as with any part of your estate plan, it’s time to write down what you’ve done and update things when needed. Circumstances and relationships are constantly changing, so whether it’s your legal will, your beneficiaries, or your Inactive Account Manager, visit your selections every few years to make sure you still agree with your previous choices.

Additional Estate Planning Resources

In addition to looking after your Google accounts, you most likely have other online accounts that should be considered when setting up an estate plan. To help you through the process, here are a few additional resources you may find beneficial.

Jun 03
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How Preplanning Eases Emotional, Financial & Legal Burdens After a Death

By Estate Planning, Plan Ahead

After a death, there are three main types of burdens left behind for surviving family members to deal with: emotional, financial, and legal. For those who have planned a loved one’s funeral or closed out an estate, you know how complicated things can get. However, with a little preplanning, you can create a plan for both your funeral and estate, ensuring that everything goes much smoother for those left behind.

Let’s talk about each of the three burdens and how advance planning can ease the stress family members may feel after a death.

Young Asian couple who are experiencing emotional stress, sitting on the couch at home

1. Emotional

While nothing will stop family and friends from feeling grief after the death of a loved one, advance planning can decrease emotional stress. By recording your funeral wishes in writing and putting together a legal will, you give your family a roadmap to your specific wants and desires. In other words, they won’t have to guess what you want and then stress over whether they made the right choices.

Without a clear plan, families may overspend on a funeral or argue with each other over the best way to plan the service or distribute the estate. Both of these situations may increase emotional tension and create unfavorable experiences for everyone. To reduce the possibility of these emotional stressors, take time to put your preferences in writing, so no one can dispute your wishes.

To learn more about the benefits of planning ahead for your funeral wishes, check out these helpful articles:

What is Advance Funeral Planning?
5 Emotional Benefits to Funeral Preplanning
What to Expect at a Preplanning Appointment
How to Get Started with Funeral Preplanning
10 Reasons to Plan Ahead

Person putting coin in a piggy bank, preplanning and saving up for future financial needs

2. Financial

Another big burden after a death is financial. For those who do not preplan or pre-pay for their burial or cremation plans, the emotional and financial burden will fall on surviving family members. And for many families, the cost of a funeral can be heavy, especially if they don’t have extra funds readily available.

However, you can remove this burden from your family by preparing in advance. For your funeral plans, you can either set aside funds in your bank accounts to be used when needed or you can set up a prepaid funeral insurance policy. Many people also choose to use a life insurance policy to pay for a funeral. However, keep in mind, it could be 6-8 weeks before the money is available. This means your family will still need to come up with the funds on their own and be reimbursed by the insurance company later.

To learn about prepaying for a funeral or setting aside funds, check out these resources:

6 Ways You Can Save Money with Funeral Preplanning & Prefunding
3 Funeral Insurance Options You Should Know About
Understanding Prepaid Funeral Insurance Policies
The Truth About Life Insurance and Funeral Expenses
10 Questions to Ask Before You Prepay Your Funeral

Shaking hands with an attorney

3. Legal

The final burden relates to legal matters, particularly surrounding a lost loved one’s estate. Some estates are simple while others are very complicated. But no matter which one is you, having a plan in place will only make things easier for your successors. Perhaps the most important document is a legal will, which outlines how you want your estate distributed. Without this document, it falls to the state to decide what happens to your property. If that happens, your property and assets may not go to the people you want.

So, to prevent future headaches and heartaches for your loved ones, talk with an estate planning attorney. With a professional by your side, you can put together a comprehensive plan that protects your assets and ensures that everything goes to the right people.

To learn more about estate planning and how to get your affairs in order, read the following articles:

How to Make an Estate Planning Checklist
Getting Your Affairs in Order
The 5 Most Important Estate Planning Documents
Estate Planning for the Blended Family
4 Reasons to Keep Your Beneficiaries Up to Date

Mature African American man makes phone call from his home; prepping for preplanning

What’s Next?

The death of a loved one brings many different challenges with it. By preplanning in a few key areas, you can reduce the emotional, financial, and legal burden your family may feel. And remember – you won’t be on your own during this process.

For any funeral needs, choose a trusted funeral home in your area. The funeral staff will help you understand what details to plan and how to pre-pay (if you wish). And for estate planning, always consult an attorney licensed in your state. They can ensure that all the right documents are created to your specifications and meet state requirements.

With your funeral and estate plans in place, your family will be set up for success and will have an easier time after your passing.

DISCLAIMER: Individual circumstances and state laws vary. Only undertake estate planning with the help and assistance of an attorney licensed in your state. 

May 31
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young woman sitting on a bench, smiling with her elderly parents

5 Reasons to Discuss Your Funeral Wishes with Your Family

By Plan Ahead

Planning a funeral after someone has already died can leave family members with many questions and add stress to an already difficult time. But while thinking about your own death can be uncomfortable, planning ahead for your funeral wishes can lift a huge burden off your family’s shoulders.

As you begin to put your wishes down in writing and talk to your funeral director, don’t forget to discuss your wishes for your funeral with your family. While starting the conversation about this sensitive topic may be difficult, the discussion will benefit everyone. Here are 5 reasons you should talk about your funeral wishes with your family:

1. Make Your Wishes Known

young woman sitting on a bench, smiling with her elderly parents

Whether you choose to talk to your family when you start planning or after you already have something on file, they need to know that you’ve thought about what you want for your funeral.

If your family is unaware of your wishes, they may not know which decisions to make. That can lead to emotional overspending, where a family spends more because they want to get “only the best” for their loved one. When you talk to your family about your wishes, they can make more confident decisions during the planning process.

By sharing your wishes with them, you ensure that you’re all on the same page. Your family will know exactly what you want, and you’ll know that your wishes will be carried out.

2. Get Another Opinion

elderly african american couple smiling and hugging outside

In some cases, you may not know exactly what you want. Maybe you know you prefer burial but don’t know where you’d want a service to be held. Or maybe you just need a second opinion from someone you trust.

When answering tough questions like these, discussing your wishes with your family members can be helpful! Your family members are often the people who know you the best, and their suggestions could help you make decisions. Plus, by talking with them as you create your plan, they’ll better understand the reasoning behind your wishes.

However, if you think your family members might object to some of your wishes or influence you to make decisions you don’t want, don’t feel pressured to discuss your wishes with them before you have everything set! You can always wait and let them know after your wishes are on file.

3. Prepare Your Family

older couple playing with their young grandson outside

Whether you include your family in the planning process or not, discussing your wishes with them will help them understand what you want and make sure they aren’t surprised by your wishes, like if you choose to donate your body to science or have an outdoor service instead of one at your church.

In addition, as you discuss your wishes with your family, you’ll need to let them know where your funeral wishes are on file. What funeral home did you plan with? Who is the funeral director you talked to? Where are the important documents they’ll need, like your birth certificate, will, or other estate planning documents?

By letting your family know about your wishes, they’ll be ready to answer questions at the arrangement conference. Plus, they’ll know where to go and who to talk to!

4. Avoid Disagreements

large family with grandparents celebrating a birthday

After a loved one dies, emotions can run high. Family members are grieving, and they often have different ideas about what should be done to honor that special person’s life. This difference of opinion can lead to heated disagreements when there are no clear answers about what the deceased wanted.

When you clearly discuss your wishes with your family, you can eliminate confusion and give your family a guide to your wishes. And since what you verbally tell your family could be forgotten or misremembered, it’s important to also record your wishes and put them on file with your chosen funeral home.

5. Give Everyone Peace of Mind

young man hugging elderly mother

One of the best parts of sharing your wishes with your family is the peace of mind that everyone gains. When you tell your family you have a plan in place, you lift the burden of planning a funeral off of their shoulders and eliminate the unknowns.

And if you choose to prepay for your funeral, you also remove the financial burden for your family. They’ll know that everything is taken care of; they won’t have to find a way to pay for the funeral or wait for life insurance.

By answering the many questions that arise while funeral planning, you give your family one less thing to worry about. Plus, you’ll gain peace of mind, knowing that your family is taken care of and your wishes will be followed.

As you talk to your family about your funeral wishes, give them time to process and think through what you’ve shared. Because we often avoid talking about death, your family members may react in different ways. Be patient and know that your preparation will make things easier for everyone.

More Information About Planning Ahead

Why Plan Ahead for Funeral Wishes?

10 Reasons to Plan Ahead

5 Emotional Benefits to Funeral Preplanning

How to Get Started With Funeral Preplanning

6 Ways You Can Save Money with Funeral Preplanning & Prefunding

9 Preplanning Mistakes to Avoid

May 14
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group of people of mixed ages, races, and gender, smiling with a positive mindset

Living Better: How Positive Thinking Can Improve Your Life

By Estate Planning, Living Well, Plan Ahead

As we get older, we tend to reflect on our lives and examine how we’ve lived. Did we live a meaningful life? Have we left behind a legacy that we’re proud of? While everyone has a different idea of what a “meaningful” or “good” life looks like, making small, positive changes, like creating a positive mindset, can help you feel more fulfilled and healthier.

group of people of mixed ages, races, and gender, smiling with a positive mindset

One way to make changes and create a positive mindset is to build a habit of positive thinking! Studies suggest that positive thinking can significantly improve physical and mental health. It’s not always easy to view the glass as half full, but with practice and persistence, you can cultivate a state of mind that will make you more appreciative of the good in life and more accepting of the bad.

Here are a few ways to build a positive mindset and improve your life!

Practice Contentment

Older happy couple sitting in a green field of dandelions

What does it mean to be happy? Most people don’t find happiness in a stable job, a large paycheck, or even fulfilling their biggest goals. Instead, the most significant factor that influences true happiness is contentment, being satisfied with your current situation.

Maybe you don’t have as much in your retirement savings as you would like. Maybe you never got to work at your dream job. Or maybe you’re experiencing more physical pain as you age. All of these things can be genuinely frustrating, but choosing acceptance and contentment can help you build a more positive perspective.

Instead of focusing on what you don’t have or dwelling on “If only” or “I wish” statements, try to find ways to be content with where you are. Adversity and hardship are a natural part of life, and learning to accept those negative experiences can help improve your health and create a more meaningful, enjoyable life.

Create a Habit of Gratitude

Young woman looking out a window and writing in a gratitude journal

Contentment is the ability to deal with life’s negative events, and gratitude is the flip side of that: the ability to focus on and cherish positive events. Studies suggest that practicing gratitude can reduce stress, lessen anxiety, and improve overall health, thereby increasing quality of life.

But often, it’s easier to focus on the negative aspects of life instead of the positive aspects, especially during hard times or when you’re grieving. Thanks to this negativity bias, practicing gratitude can be a struggle. However, if you build up a habit of gratitude by finding something to be thankful for every day, you can find positivity on even the most challenging day.

How can you build a habit of gratitude? One way is to spend a few minutes each day writing in a gratitude journal. You could also set aside time to say what you’re grateful for, like when you’re doing the dishes or driving to work. Whether you have big or small things that you’re thankful for, taking a few minutes to appreciate them can help you create a positive mindset.

Choose Your Thoughts Wisely

Young african american man thinking with his eyes closed and a smile on his face

What you think has great power. The thoughts you focus on affect your words, actions, and overall mindset. While we can’t always choose the thoughts that enter our minds, we can control what we do with those thoughts. When a negative thought about your appearance, personality, or past enters your mind, do you internalize it and dwell on it? Or do you dismiss it, shift your focus to positive attributes, or take time to remind yourself of what’s important?

In the same way, you can shift your inner dialogue to focus on positivity. When you catch yourself being overly critical of yourself or others, pause and evaluate your thoughts. Is your inner voice being helpful or just judgemental? Is there something more beneficial you can think about? The answer is usually yes!

This doesn’t mean that you try to suffocate negative thoughts and emotions. Negative feelings are a natural part of life, and letting yourself experience them is essential. But as you build a positive mindset, you can learn to differentiate between healthy and unhealthy thoughts.

Of course, having a positive mindset is not the only way to a better quality of life. Eating well, exercising regularly, and avoiding destructive habits are also important for your well-being. But by training your brain to think positively, you can get so much more out of life – and enjoy it more, too!

May 03
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Close up view of a veteran's arm in uniform with American flag badge and flag in the background

Everything You Need to Know About Government-Issued Veteran Headstones

By Plan Ahead, Veterans

Whether you’re planning a funeral for a loved one who was a veteran or planning ahead for your own funeral, it’s important to learn about the burial benefits available to eligible veterans. One benefit that many veterans qualify for is a government-issued headstone, grave marker, or niche marker.

Permanent memorials, like headstones and markers, play an essential role in the grieving process and give loved ones a place to remember and honor the deceased. Depending on the level of personalization and the size of the memorial, the costs of a headstone can add up, which makes this veteran benefit worth exploring.

Veterans cemetery with government-issued headstone

But who is eligible for a headstone, and what types of headstones and markers does the government provide? Let’s look at the basics of veteran headstones!

Who is Eligible?

To be eligible for a government-issued headstone or marker, veterans or active-duty service members must meet specific requirements. Veterans or service members who did not receive a dishonorable discharge or who died on active duty may be eligible to receive a government-issued headstone if they either died on or after November 1, 1990 or are buried in an unmarked grave. National Guard members and Reservists may also be eligible but have different requirements.

Close up view of a veteran's arm in uniform with American flag badge and flag in the background

The government can provide memorial headstones or markers for veterans or active-duty service members “whose remains are not recovered or identified, are buried at sea, donated to science or whose cremated remains have been scattered” (National Cemetery Administration). Additionally, a veteran’s spouse or dependent children may be eligible for a government-issued headstone or marker.

If a veteran, active duty service member, or military spouse was buried in a private cemetery and already has a privately purchased headstone, the VA may provide a medallion. However, veterans must meet specific requirements, and a local cemetery official may need to approve the addition of a medallion.

A veteran does not need to be buried in a veterans’ cemetery to be eligible for a government-issued headstone or marker. Find the complete list of eligibility requirements on the VA’s website here.

Types of Headstones and Markers

Folded American flag on a table

The VA offers a variety of headstones, grave markers, and medallions for eligible veterans and active-duty service members. If you choose one of these government-issued options, remember that there are specific guidelines about cleaning government-furnished headstones and markers. Also, inscriptions and personalization options are more limited (see Inscriptions section below).

Additionally, check with your chosen cemetery to see if they have specific requirements for headstones and markers before submitting your request. If your chosen cemetery is a veterans cemetery, they may also place the order on your behalf.

Upright Granite or Marble Headstone

Often used at national veterans cemeteries, upright government-issued headstones are 13″ wide and 4″ thick. In private cemeteries, lithichrome, a type of stone paint, may be used to darken the lettering on the headstone. However, national cemeteries typically do not use lithichrome so the headstones look consistent as they age and weather.

Flat Granite or Marble Grave Marker

These stone grave markers weigh about 130 pounds and are 24″ x 12″. The government typically doesn’t use lithichrome on these markers, and the marker’s color may vary depending on the type of stone chosen.

Flat Bronze Grave Marker

Much like the granite and marble grave markers, the bronze grave marker measures 24″ x 12″. A base for the marker isn’t included, but bolts, nuts, and washers will be provided.

Bronze Niche Marker

For those who choose cremation and display their urn in a niche, the VA may provide a bronze niche marker. The niche marker will be 8.5″ x 5.5″, and mounting bolts and washers are supplied.

Medallions

As mentioned above, the VA also offers medallions for eligible veterans with a privately-purchased headstone. There are two types of medallions: bronze or Medal of Honor. Each option has different size options to choose from and can be affixed to a headstone.

Read more details about government-issued headstones, markers, and medallions on this page.

Inscriptions on Government-Issued Headstones and Markers

government-issued headstone with flowers

When requesting a government-issued headstone or marker, remember that any inscriptions must adhere to the VA’s guidelines. The mandatory inscription will include the veteran’s legal name, years of birth and death, and branch of service. If the veteran is buried in a state or national veterans cemetery, the headstone will have the section and grave number.

Other than those mandatory items, you can add other inscriptions, like nicknames, unit designations, highest rank attained, awards, or information about war service. You can also request specific “emblems of belief.” However, these additions must be provided by the veteran’s next of kin or an authorized representative and approved by the VA. For more details on accepted inscriptions and how to request them, please visit the National Cemetery Administration Inscriptions page.

As you consider your options for a veteran’s headstone, monument, or marker, think about what’s most important to you. There are many government-issued choices, but you can always explore other memorial options if you would rather have something unique and highly personalized.

For other questions about government-issued headstones and markers, please see the VA’s FAQ page.

Learn More About Veterans’ Burial Benefits

May 02
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Woman with a gray fuzzy sweater holding a small green bird and smiling

Protect Your Pet: 4 Steps to Create an Estate Plan for Your Pet

By Estate Planning, Pets

When creating an estate plan, most people think about caring for their families after they die. But what about your pets? How do you know that your pet will continue to be cared for?

There are plenty of crazy stories about the rich setting aside millions for their pets, but you don’t have to be a millionaire to make sure your pet is cared for after your death. Follow these 4 steps to create a plan to protect your pet!

DISCLAIMER: Individual circumstances and state laws vary. Only undertake estate planning with the help and assistance of an attorney licensed in your state.

1. Choose a Caretaker

Woman with a gray fuzzy sweater holding a small green bird and smiling

Who do you want to care for your pet when you’re gone? Picking a caretaker is an important first step.

Do you have a responsible friend or family member who gets along well with your pet? While you look for a possible caretaker, talk to the people you trust to see if they would be interested. Some people may have other pets, small children, or demanding jobs that could make them unwilling or unable to take on the extra responsibility.

If you don’t know anyone who can care for your pet, there are other options. Pet legacy programs around the world work to connect pets with loving families after they lose their owners. You could also leave your pet with a local no-kill animal sanctuary or rescue organization that will find it a new home.

2. Add Your Pet to Your Estate Plan

Small fluffy brown dog running in green grass

Once you’ve chosen a caretaker, you have several options for ensuring your pet goes to them. The most common ways to leave your pet to your chosen caretaker are with a non-legal arrangement, a clause in your will, a trust, or a pet power of attorney. Before deciding, consider whether there may be a conflict about your pet’s care among your family or any extra provisions you want to make, like setting aside money for your pet’s care (see point #4).

As you consider the best option for you and your pet, talk to your estate planning attorney. They can provide you with extra information regarding your state’s specific regulations and help you set up a plan that fits your needs.

3. Share Your Pet’s History

Vet holding a black and white bunny

Even if your caretaker is someone you know, they’ll need extra information about your pet’s history. To help with that, you can create a document with the necessary information. Consider adding details about your pet’s:

  • Vaccination history
  • Current and past medications
  • Medical issues (past and present)
  • Adoption papers
  • Any American Kennel Club or other breed registration information
  • Special dietary needs

Make sure to keep the document up-to-date when things change with your pet.

4. Set Aside Funds

Older woman petting a peaceful cat on her lap

Because pets are legally considered property, you can’t leave them money in your will. However, you can set aside funds to help pay for their food, care, and medical expenses as they transition to their new caretaker. One of the most common ways to do this is by setting up a pet trust.

If you choose to set aside funds for your pet’s care, consider the typical cost of their food, medical expenses, etc. By providing these funds for your chosen caregiver, you can lighten the burden of caring for your pet and ensure that your pet is cared for in the way you want.

While thinking about what will happen to your pet after you’re gone can be sad, remember that planning ahead can make the transition easier for them. Once you make decisions about your pet’s future, trust yourself and your choices. You know your pet best, and once you have an estate plan for your pet in place, you can rest easy knowing that they’ll be well cared for.

Mar 13
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Pallbearers carrying casket to burial space

Do You Know About These 8 Cemetery Expenses?

By Cemeteries, Explore Options, Plan Ahead

When you buy a car or plan a vacation or throw a 50th anniversary party, you take time to consider your options and review your budget. If you’re planning to purchase a cemetery burial space – whether now or in the future – it’s always a good idea to follow the same practice. While purchasing a plot or niche may seem straightforward, there are some expenses that you may not know about. Today, let’s talk about 8 cemetery expenses to consider as you financially prepare to purchase a burial space in your chosen cemetery.

Pallbearers carrying casket to burial space

1. Burial Permit

By law, there are certain rules and regulations around the proper care and disposal of a human body. Before a person can be buried, the funeral home must apply for and obtain a burial permit. Without this document, burial cannot take place, so it’s an important step in the process. Your funeral director will apply for the permit on your behalf, so there’s nothing you will need to do. However, the burial permit does come with a fee. The amount will vary from state to state, so if you’d like to know the cost in your state, make sure to ask your funeral director.

Woman wearing black dress holding gray granite urn close in her arms

2. Casket or Urn

This next one is a bit self-explanatory. If you have opted for full-body burial, you will need to purchase a casket. There are many different types available in a variety of price ranges, so you should find something that works for your specific needs. If you’ve opted for cremation, you can either place the cremated remains in a niche or bury them in a plot. Either way, you will need an urn to house the ashes. Speak with a funeral director to get a good sense of the cost of urns and caskets in your area. They can explain the pros and cons of the different materials and types.

Cemetery worker overseeing arrival of an outer burial container

3. Outer Burial Container

When a casket or an urn is buried, it is placed in an outer burial container. This container (often made of concrete) prevents the ground from shifting too much as the dirt around the grave settles. There are long-term benefits to preventing the ground from settling unevenly. For example, the cemetery grounds remain level (fewer tripping hazards), routine maintenance is easier and less expensive, and headstones are less likely to shift and tip over time. Unless it’s a “green” cemetery, most burial grounds require, at a minimum, the use of a grave liner.

There are two types of outer burial containers: grave liners and burial vaults. To learn more about them, read “Grave Liners & Burials Vaults: What’s the Difference?”

Wall of cremation niches with flowers

4. Plot or Niche

And here’s another obvious expense – the plot or niche itself. The offerings at every cemetery will be a bit different, and costs will vary depending on where you live. Additionally, certain sections of the cemetery may come with a higher price tag. It’s also likely that if you want a plot close to a water feature, bench, or something similar, the cost may go up. The best way to nail down what a plot or niche costs is to speak with cemeteries that service your area. Then, with the information you’ve gathered, you can select the cemetery and plot option that best fit your specific needs.

Opening of a grave at a cemetery

5. Opening & Closing of the Grave

If you have chosen casket or urn burial for your final disposition, then you will also need to consider the cost of opening and closing the grave. But what does it mean to open and close the grave? This fee includes digging the grave itself, preparing the ground around the site for the graveside service, back-filling the ground once services are complete, and then landscaping the area to restore and preserve the beauty of the burial space. The cemetery employs maintenance and grounds staff to ensure that this necessary function is done well and correctly for each family.

Well-maintained headstones and graves in a cemetery

6. Headstone or Grave Marker

There’s one thing you will always find at any final resting place – a headstone or grave marker. Grave markers come in a variety of types, so there are quite a few options to consider. Do you want a more traditional headstone made of granite? Or do you prefer a flat, bronze marker? Do you need a simple plaque for a cremation niche? Would you like to add custom details to the grave marker, like a gravestone recipe or an inscription or image? The cemetery or funeral home can direct you to a reputable monument company, who will work with you to create a marker that commemorates a loved one’s life for generations to come.

Close-up of red rose resting on a grave marker

7. Headstone Installation

Related to the grave marker, there may be an additional expense to properly install the headstone once it’s complete. When you are speaking with cemetery personnel, make sure to ask if they have an installation fee and if it varies depending on the type of grave marker. For example, it may cost less to install a single grave marker than to install one that includes multiple names. Having this information will help you make decisions regarding what type of headstone you want to commission for a loved one’s grave.

Person pulling weeds around a grave

8. Perpetual Care

One final cemetery expense to consider is perpetual care. But what is perpetual care? Basically, this fee is paid into the cemetery maintenance fund. The fund is then used for groundwork, security, and other tasks like mowing, weeding, or maintaining pathways and signage. In this way, the grave is looked after and cared for regularly for years to come. Sometimes the service includes headstone maintenance, but often, it does not. Generally, perpetual care is a one-time fee that is 5-15% of the burial plot’s price. However, it can vary, so make sure to ask the cemetery for more specifics.

Outdoor mausoleum wall with memorial flowers

What Next?

There’s a lot of information out there about average costs for burial, but it’s best not to rely too much on generalities. It’s true that if you live in Arkansas, your burial costs are going to be lower than if you live in California. However, within California, burial in one area of the state may cost less than another. The best way to figure out average burial costs in your area is to speak with a few cemeteries where you live. That way, you can get a good sense of the average.

Before we go, it’s worth noting that you may want to purchase a cemetery plot early. Planning ahead for funeral and cemetery wishes is an easy process and can save your family hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars in the long run. By taking time now to speak with a funeral home and a cemetery, you can remove the burden of planning from your family’s shoulders and ensure that everything meets your wishes and stays within your budget. You can reach out to a trusted funeral home to learn more about the benefits of planning for funeral wishes in advance.

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