Educational Archives - Funeral Basics

Jun 01

airplane view looking towards Hawaiian islands

Your Guide to Aerial Scattering

By Kaylan Frank Cremation, Educational, Memorial

Cremation has become the preferred method of disposition in America, and unique approaches for the permanent placement of cremated remains are being taken to new heights, literally! Among these is aerial scattering, which is now more accessible than ever before.

small charter plane flying in the sky

With more people seeking personalized choices for their final arrangements, service options are moving away from tradition. This shift allows families to explore unique, individualized options that help them say goodbye to loved ones in a truly distinctive way.

Today, let’s discuss aerial scattering: what it is, what it isn’t, and how you can still have a meaningful ceremony.

What is Aerial Scattering?

Aerial scattering is the release of cremated remains into the air. This can be done during flight, skydiving, or gliding. Once dispersed, the remains are carried away and settle naturally over the requested area or landmark.

The goal is a gentle, quiet, and memorable release of the remains, rather than tossing or dropping them. Distinguishing between releasing and dropping is crucial since regulations and safety plans are designed to prevent hazards and minimize litter. These measures ensure safe flight procedures and an honorable farewell.

How Does Aerial Scattering Happen?

First, you’ll need to find a company that does aerial scattering and review their guidelines to make sure they’re the right fit for you. A reputable provider must demonstrate clear regulatory compliance, adhering to all aviation, EPA, and state requirements. Throughout every step of the process, providers must uphold rigorous safety standards and prioritize respectful handling, from pickup to scattering, to ensure dignity is maintained at every stage.

If you are transporting cremated remains or sending them to a trusted aerial scattering provider, make sure that you have a sturdy container. If you need to fly with the remains, check out “What You Need to Know About Flying with Cremated Remains” for tips. The company you’re working with may also have a vessel you can use, so be sure to ask them about this part of the process.

Yosemite National Park, looking towards El Capitan monument

Depending on the company’s protocol, pilots may release remains through a tube or funnel from outside the plane or directly from the cockpit. Alternatively, remains are released from lower altitudes using hot air balloons, gliders, or parachutes.

Funeral directors are invaluable guides throughout this process, offering expert advice and support. By contacting a funeral home, you can make arrangements seamless and less stressful. The funeral director’s experience can help you craft a meaningful tribute to your loved one, and they often have connections or suggestions to help fulfill your specific wishes.

Where Can Aerial Scattering Take Place?

When planning a tribute to your loved one, consider locations that hold special significance. Reflect on their favorite places as you decide where to scatter their remains. Once you have a location in mind, coordinate with your aerial scattering provider about important details like the date, time, and method of release.

Whether you choose a beloved mountain range, a beautiful lake, open fields, or the ocean, selecting a site with personal meaning will make the tribute even more special. If you decide to scatter on private property, be sure to obtain written permission from the landowner.

Because each state has its own regulations for burial and cremation, it’s important to familiarize yourself with the guidelines for scattering ashes before making arrangements. Working closely with your chosen scattering provider streamlines the process and ensures legal compliance, especially if traveling to another state.

With their expertise, you can confidently choose a meaningful location, secure permission, and complete any necessary paperwork.

Can You Have a Ceremony with Aerial Scattering?

Yes, you can! Many people don’t realize that they can still have a ceremony with cremation. If you’re choosing aerial scattering for your loved one’s final flight, you can also have a meaningful ceremony before cremation takes place, a memorial service after cremation, or a ceremony during the scattering if your provider allows it.

To have a ceremony at a funeral home or a church before cremation, the first step is to meet with a funeral director to thoughtfully plan a meaningful service that honors your loved one. This allows you to have a private family viewing or a public visitation.

Alternatively, a memorial service held after cremation offers those in mourning a place to gather and remember. As your loved one’s body will not be present during the memorial service, placing the urn in a place of honor during the ceremony can be a meaningful gesture.

Consider holding a meaningful ceremony alongside the scattering, tailored to your chosen location. Reach out to your scattering company for details about participating on the ground. Careful, thoughtful planning ensures a smooth experience, allowing you to create a dignified, memorable tribute without complications.

Discuss with the aerial scattering company how you and your loved ones can participate in the ceremony. Learning more about what they offer for commemorating the release can provide comfort and peace. The following list is a guide to help you navigate the process with confidence:

Questions to Ask

Can you be on the plane during the release?
Can you be the one to release the remains during skydiving?
What personalized keepsakes are available to you?
Does the company offer photos, videos, certificates, or other ways to memorialize the release?
Do they only scatter ashes, or can you add other biodegradable items like flowers?
What happens if the weather is bad on the scheduled scattering day?
Can you scatter pet’s ashes, too?

soft white clouds over the blue ocean

Choosing to release a loved one’s remains in this way can serve as a beautiful and personal tribute. Hopefully, this guide to aerial scattering can help you navigate your options and begin the planning process with confidence. If you have more questions about cremation or scattering ashes, consider exploring this list of additional resources or contacting a local funeral home.

Additional Resources

Your Guide to Scattering Ashes at U.S. National Parks

Unique Venue Ideas for a Celebration of Life Service

7 Elements of a Healing and Meaningful Funeral

5 Ways Funeral Today Aren’t One-Size-Fits-All

What Should I Know When Considering Cremation?

May 26

Love0

Funeral Celebrants: How Can They Help Your Family?

By christy.kessler Educational, Explore Options, Meaningful Funerals, Planning Tools

When you’re planning a final tribute for a loved one, you don’t want the last words spoken over them to be hollow, empty, or insincere. Instead, the words should be real, kind, true, and an accurate reflection of who they were as a person. A funeral celebrant can help you create a beautiful send-off that feels personal, meaningful, and genuine.

But what is a funeral celebrant, and how can they help? Let’s talk about it.

What is a Funeral Celebrant?

A funeral celebrant leads and officiates a funeral or memorial service, religious or non-religious, helping create a personalized and meaningful ceremony for the person who has died. In the United States, a funeral celebrant is often not a member of the clergy, but they can be.

Their main role is to tell a story – the story of your loved one’s life. The service is about remembrance and celebration, heartache and joy. The celebrant will work closely with you to tailor the services to meet your needs and wishes, honoring your loved one’s life and personality.

They are skilled public speakers who adapt and adjust to your family’s requests. Whether it’s a solemn occasion requiring decorum and poise or a joyous celebration calling for an inspirational and cheerful tone, a funeral celebrant can strike the right balance.

A celebrant can be particularly helpful for families who are non-religious. For those who regularly attend a place of worship, a clergy member is often available to officiate the service (if you wish), but for those who are non-religious, a funeral celebrant can fill the role.

How Can a Funeral Celebrant Help You?

While the funeral director coordinates all the service details, they don’t prepare the actual program for the event or officiate. The order of events and what’s included in the service are up to the family. This is where the celebrant can step in and become a huge help.

Here are several ways that the funeral celebrant can help you before, during, and after a loved one’s service:

Learn about your loved one so they can prepare personalized remarks
Help to plan the order of service, if you wish
Suggest and coordinate readings, music, poems, or hymns
Write and deliver a personalized eulogy (based on stories you shared)
Keep you informed, so you never feel left out or overwhelmed
Ensure that the program moves smoothly from one speaker to the next
Provide logistical and emotional support throughout the planning process
Keep the event on track while staying sensitive and adapting as needed
Provide feedback to family or friends who’d like to speak at the funeral
Coordinate with the funeral home staff and other service providers as needed
Lead the ceremony with warmth, sensitivity, and kindness
Conduct the graveside service, if you wish

Planning and hosting a funeral may feel overwhelming when you’re processing and grieving a loss. The celebrant can step in and act as both storyteller and organizer, ensuring that your wishes for the service come to pass with attention to detail and authenticity.

What Should I Expect When Meeting with a Celebrant?

Once you’ve decided to use a celebrant, they will contact you for a chat, either in person or via video or phone call. If you wish to meet in person, they can come to your home or you can meet at an agreed-upon location.

When you meet the celebrant, they should put you at ease right away. They will ask questions about your loved one’s life, values, and personality because they want to understand who they were. By listening to your stories and memories, the celebrant can craft their words and presentation to reflect your loved one’s life.

If you wish, the celebrant can also discuss options for the funeral service and offer suggestions to help you personalize the service even more. Throughout it all, they will provide emotional and logistical support as you make choices that are best for your family and honor your loved one’s life.

What Questions Should I Ask the Funeral Celebrant?

While the celebrant will ask you many questions during your time together, you can also ask questions to get to know the celebrant and learn more how they work. It’s important that you work well together, and a few questions can help you determine whether your personalities and practices are compatible.

Here are a few questions you might consider asking:

How long have you been practicing as a funeral celebrant?
What is your training and experience?
Can you provide testimonials or references?
What process do you follow on the day of the funeral?
What do you do when something goes wrong at the funeral?
Do you have any specific ideas or themes in mind for the funeral service?
How will you help us create a service that reflects the personality of our loved one?
How much do you charge for your services?
Are you comfortable working with both religious and non-religious families?
Do you have experience working with families from different cultures or religions?

What’s the Difference Between a Celebrant and a Funeral Director?

While the roles overlap in some duties, they are distinct and separate.

Celebrant

A celebrant serves as a storyteller, guide, writer, speaker, and master of ceremonies. They conduct religious or non-religious services, depending on the religion’s requirements. Their main role is to lead and direct any final services and ensure everything runs smoothly while you honor and remember a loved one. They do not assist with anything related to the burial or cremation (unless they are also a trained funeral director).

Funeral Director

A funeral director is trained to support grieving families by coordinating every aspect of burial or cremation, including preparation of the body, working with the cemetery, securing permits, and filing for a death certificate. They also assist with third-party services (such as florists) and with planning final services like coordinating the viewing, funeral or memorial service, or graveside service. They do not lead or conduct the final tribute or any other remembrance events.

Do I Need a Funeral Celebrant?

You do not specifically need a celebrant, but you DO need someone to lead the service. You may ask a friend, family member, or clergy person to officiate. Celebrants are simply another option. They can be especially helpful if you don’t have a clergy person in mind or if family and friends don’t feel up to leading the service. No matter who you choose – clergy, family, friend, celebrant – always select the person who best fits your family’s needs and can meaningfully honor your loved one’s life.

How Much Do Celebrants Cost?

Celebrant fees vary, but compensation or an honorarium is expected. Ask the funeral home for a recommendation or rely on the funeral director to engage a celebrant’s services on your behalf. Once a celebrant is selected, discuss fee expectations. If the celebrant is familiar to the funeral home, the funeral director can share the celebrant’s typical rates.

Hopefully, you now have a better and deeper understanding of the funeral celebrant and the value their services can bring to you and your family. If you have more questions about celebrants or would like to meet with one locally, contact your trusted funeral home. They can point you in the right direction and help you find a celebrant who will help you honor your loved one’s life in a way that feels right and good.

Apr 21

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Officiant reading from book at graveside service

10 Funeral Costs That Are Often Overlooked

By christy.kessler Educational, Plan Ahead, Planning Tools

Every funeral is different, which means the cost can vary widely. While funeral homes provide clear pricing for their services through the General Price List, funerals often require additional services that can only be supplied by a third party. Because these items are provided by an outside entity, the pricing isn’t up to the funeral home. However, the funeral home staff know what to do and can ensure these services aren’t overlooked!

Today, let’s talk about 9 third-party funeral costs that are often overlooked but can be essential to creating a meaningful final tribute for a loved one.

1. Cemetery and Monument Charges

Whether you choose burial or cremation, you will likely need to consider cemetery costs in your plans. Cemetery charges would include the cost of a burial plot or a niche in a columbarium or mausoleum, plus any fees associated with opening and closing the grave.

Also, consider the cost of a grave marker or monument, along with a monument installation fee. Cemetery proprietors and monument companies determine these fees because many funeral homes do not own a cemetery or monument company themselves.

If you don’t already have a plan in place for cemetery needs, your funeral director can provide a recommendation or discuss your local cemetery options.

2. Death Certificates

Most people don’t realize how many death certificates they will need. As a rule of thumb, purchase multiple copies – more than you think you will need. Copies of a death certificate are typically requested as proof of death for life insurance policies, social security or veterans’ benefits, stocks, bonds, and banks, to name a few.

The state or municipality determine the cost of a death certificate, and that amount can change over time. While death certificates are typically inexpensive, you can make the process a bit easier by relying on the funeral home to complete all the paperwork and request certificates on your behalf. Just let your funeral director know how many you want.

3. Obituary/Death Notice

Many people are surprised at the cost associated with publishing an obituary or death notice in a newspaper, especially in a larger city. In most cases, the funeral home will publish an obituary to the funeral home’s website at no cost, but if you wish to post it elsewhere, the fee may be higher than you expect. If there’s a particular place you’d like to publish the obituary, let your director know so you can discuss any fees or requirements.

4. Church or Venue Charges

If you choose to have a funeral or memorial service outside the funeral home’s facility, the venue you choose may charge a fee to use the space. Your funeral director will help you coordinate and discuss any rental fees for the location you’ve selected. Choosing a special location can add a beautiful touch to the ceremony and may be just the right way to honor your loved one’s life.

5. Flowers

Depending on the time of year, the cost of flowers will fluctuate. Unfortunately, this makes it hard to pin down the actual cost. While most funeral homes don’t have their own florists, they do have positive working relationships with local businesses. If you’d like, the funeral home can purchase floral arrangements on your behalf. You can work with your funeral director to set a budget and discuss which types of flowers you prefer.

6. Live Music

Music is a very personal and touching way to create a one-of-a-kind tribute. If you elect to have live music, it is likely that an honorarium (monetary token of appreciation) will be necessary. Most of the time, the musician or group you choose to hire will determine the honorarium amount. If you don’t already have a musician in mind, you can ask your funeral director for recommendations.

7. Officiant Honorarium

It’s common practice to have an officiant at the funeral, who will act as host for the service and ensure that events move along smoothly. It is customary to offer this person an honorarium for their time and effort.

In many cases, the officiant will be a clergy person or a celebrant. A celebrant is a non-clergy person who has trained to eulogize and coordinate funeral services. However, anyone can do it. If you have a friend who is willing to officiate for free, you can do that.

No matter whom you choose, discuss that person’s fee expectations before you hire them.

8. Pallbearers

In many cases, pallbearers are family members and friends. However, for some, it is difficult to identify six to eight pallbearers. If you require assistance, the funeral home can help by hiring the extra hands needed. This service will come with a small fee for each hired pallbearer, which your funeral director will discuss with you before anyone is employed.

9. Police Escort

In many states, it is common practice to request a police escort for the funeral procession to the final resting place. With an escort, the funeral procession can move through traffic in an orderly way and without traffic delays. The cost for this service is determined by the local police department, and your funeral director is likely to already know the cost (if any).

Urn sitting on table with red rose floral arrangement

10. Catering

And finally, if you choose to have a reception following the service, don’t forget to count the cost of catering. Whether you decide to serve refreshments or a full meal, pricing will be subject to whatever catering service or restaurant you select. You can, of course, make any food yourself (or go potluck style), but catering can make a stressful time a bit easier. If you aren’t sure how to proceed with catering, your funeral director can help you get everything ordered and set up.

While not all-inclusive, you now have a better understanding of these 9 often overlooked funeral costs. Thankfully, you have an advocate and a guide in your trusted funeral director. They can help you navigate through the funeral planning process from beginning to end.

Whether you are planning ahead for your own funeral wishes or creating a meaningful final tribute for a loved one, your funeral director will sit down with you to discuss all the options, ensuring that nothing is forgotten or left unconsidered.

Apr 01

Love0

group of friends laughing and talking together over dinner

The Healing Power of Laughter in Grief

By Kaylan Frank Educational, Grief/Loss, Living Well

Like the ocean’s tides, grief ebbs and flows. Its waves are sometimes overwhelming, and sometimes they gently recede to make space for a brief return to joy and peace. It may feel like grief is taking away your happiness and perhaps even your sense of self as it washes over you. So, how can you stay afloat when grief rises and falls? What can you do to cope? Believe it or not, laughter is a proven way to cope with loss and can become an incredible tool in your grief toolkit.

Grief and Laughter Coexist

Human beings are complex and capable of feeling many different emotions at the same time. While it may seem contradictory, laughter and grief often coexist, even when loss is fresh. You may experience waves of sadness, nostalgia, and even unexpected happiness within moments of each other.

Research shows that humor is both a defense mechanism and a powerful tool for coping with difficult events. Have you ever felt the uncontrollable need to laugh when someone falls flat on their face? You are still concerned about whether the person hurt themselves, but you just can’t help but burst out laughing. As strange as it may be, that burst of laughter is helping you cope with the situation and move toward compassionate action. So, how can laughter support you during a season of grief? Let’s explore!

couple on the beach at sunset

The Benefits of Laughter

Physical Benefits

Grief places significant stress on your body, leading to elevated cortisol levels, muscle tension, and changes in appetite, all of which can wear you down over time. In contrast, laughter boosts your heart rate, making each heartbeat stronger and more efficient. It also boosts circulation, relaxes your muscles, and provides much-needed “micro breaks,” almost like coming up for air after being swept under the wave of grief.

Emotional Benefits

In addition to physical benefits, laughter also comes with emotional benefits. Did you know that laughter can soothe tension? When you laugh, your body releases dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins, which are natural mood boosters that can help you relax and reduce feelings of anxiety. Embracing moments of laughter is an act of self-care that helps you regain a sense of agency when life feels out of control. Overall, laughter can ease stress, depression, and anxiety, helping you feel happier, even in the most difficult seasons of life.

group walking along a beach

Social Benefits

Laughter shared with others activates the body’s relaxation response and facilitates meaningful connection. When you’re not up for a crowd, spending time with someone lighthearted or a small group can still deliver the mood-lifting benefits of laughter. For example, if you’re struggling after your loved one’s funeral or memorial service, try a “remember when” story swap. Recalling your loved one’s quirks, bloopers, and favorite jokes can shift the tone from somber to something more bittersweet.

Inviting Laughter into Your Life

During difficult times, healing can come from unexpected sources. That’s why it’s valuable to find gentle ways to invite laughter into your life. By allowing yourself moments of connection, comfort, and laughter, you create space for resilience and growth as you navigate the path toward feeling whole again.

people seated around a table laughing

The following suggestions offer ways to nurture yourself and invite moments of joy, even during times of sorrow.

Share a meal with a lighthearted friend and turn it into a comforting, weekly ritual. Sometimes, good company is as nourishing as good food.
Explore comedians who weave grief into their routines. Hearing others speak openly and humorously about loss can help break the silence around “taboo” topics and offer a sense of relief and validation.
Ask for funny book recommendations at your local library. It may surprise you, but even grief books have humor and can bring joy.
Spend more time with friends, family, children, or animals. These shared experiences can offer natural distractions and remind you of life’s more unscripted moments.
Clumsy puppies and sassy cats provide a dopamine boost when you’re spending time alone and want a little cheering up. Host or attend board game nights for low-pressure connections. Games provide a shared focus and open the door to spontaneous laughs that feel authentic and not orchestrated.
Dive into hobbies and activities that bring you joy or try something new! New projects can shift your focus from pain to creation and discovery, restoring a sense of agency when life feels out of your control.

elderly group hiking

These practical ideas can help you rediscover moments of humor and build safe spaces for healing. By embracing healthy distractions, you give yourself permission to process grief at your own pace, finding hope and support along the way.

Embracing Moments of Joy

As you move through grief, remember that actively seeking and allowing yourself moments of laughter is both natural and healing. The joy that comes from laughter can be the big breath of fresh air you need in the deep moments of grief.

When you’re in the middle of a good laugh, you might find yourself wondering, “What would [name] think or say right now?” You may even hear their laughter as they join in with you. What a sweet moment of connection in the ongoing process of grieving!

woman by the ocean

No matter what, remember that your loved one would want you to find joy again, even as you move through grief. Allowing yourself moments of laughter and happiness doesn’t mean forgetting. Instead, it can honor your loved one’s memory and serve as a gentle reminder to seek out moments of healing joy throughout a season of grief.

Feb 27

Love0

Man slouched over with someone's hand on his shoulder offering support.

Navigating Behavioral Changes After Loss

By Becca Corbett Educational, Grief/Loss

After losing a loved one, many aspects of your life may shift and change. Your daily interactions with others, hobbies, and interests may suddenly look different, leaving you feeling disoriented and uncertain. At times, your body and emotions may feel like they have a mind of their own. In addition to physical and emotional changes, you may also experience behavioral changes. To help you and your loved ones navigate any unexpected behavioral shifts, let’s discuss what you might experience and how you can overcome these changes.

What are Behavioral Changes?

To start, let’s define “behavioral changes.” Behavioral changes involve replacing old habits or patterns with new ones in response to a situation, such as the death of a loved one. Depending on the person, some changes may be short-lived while others linger on. But either way, always remember that behavioral changes are normal as you learn how to navigate life without your loved one.

Common Behavioral Changes

Next, let’s talk about some common behavioral changes you might experience after losing a loved one. When you know what to expect, you can adapt and adjust more easily to the changes.

Lashing out

Woman with hand on her forehead, looking upset, while another woman stands beside her, frustrated. Following the loss of a loved one, there may be days when you feel especially upset or angry because that special person is gone. With these strong emotions at the forefront, it can be challenging to focus on the other relationships in your life. On these days, you may feel tempted to lash out at the people around you, even if they are also grieving.

For example, because you may become triggered or upset more easily, you might find that you are more short-tempered with your spouse, kids, parents, or friends or have less patience than you typically do. In that instance, remind yourself that those around you are also experiencing loss and big emotions. They may also be feeling triggered and upset, just like you.

If you feel close to lashing out, remind yourself to breathe and remember that you will get through this. Take it one day at a time and allow yourself breaks and alone time when needed.

Avoiding people or social situations

Woman with sad expression, another woman comforting her. Without your loved one by your side, it might be exhausting to think about attending social gatherings or events. On top of that, it can be difficult to see others celebrating when you are grieving. As a result, you may find yourself avoiding social situations entirely.

Perhaps a friend and your lost loved one share the same birthday, so you aren’t sure if you want to attend the birthday brunch. It’s okay to skip the event if you need to focus on healing instead. One day, you will enjoy events again, but it’s okay to say no right now.

It’s natural and normal to want to be alone in your grief at times. Just be sure you don’t keep friends and family at a distance in the long term. After all, they care about you and want to help you during this difficult time.

Decreasing interest in activities

Elderly man sitting on couch and holding a remote. After losing a loved one, there may be times when it is challenging to participate in the activities you usually enjoy. That’s okay! A decrease in activities is normal as you figure out life after loss.

The book club, pottery class, or daily walks that usually bring you joy might begin to feel daunting. If an activity suddenly feels unenjoyable, it is okay to take a break and try again later. Over time, you can pick up the activities again, and they may become a healthy way to express your emotions during your grief journey.

As you adjust, remember to be kind to yourself and know that your interest in activities should return in time. However, if you don’t go back to those classes or clubs, that’s okay, too. You might discover new hobbies or interests while on your path to healing.

Feeling the need to make huge life decisions

Close up of hands holding a pen and signing a document. Because losing a loved one causes a significant change in your life, you may feel the overwhelming need to adjust other parts of your life to help you cope.

You may decide that it’s time to move, especially if you shared a home with your loved one and it’s now painful to stay there. Or perhaps you’ve lost a dear colleague, and you now have a strong urge to leave your job and start over somewhere new.

Before making any life-altering decisions, remind yourself that you are grieving and thoughtfully consider whether the decision will be helpful long term. Is the decision a logical one or a result of your grief? Not all big decisions are bad, but it’s important to be sure you are making them for the right reasons.

Ways to Overcome Behavioral Changes

While these behaviors may feel discouraging, the good news is that there are positive, healthy ways to cope with and overcome them. The following suggestions offer various outlets that will help after losing a loved one.

Take care of yourself

Elderly woman walking on a path with trees in the background. After a loss, make sure that you are eating well, sleeping, and getting some form of daily exercise to help improve your mental and physical well-being. Grief can affect even the most basic daily routines, so it’s important to ensure that you don’t forget to shower, brush your teeth, and change clothes every day. Although taking care of yourself may feel difficult while you are grieving, self-care is essential for your health.

Create a daily routine

Woman laying in bed and stretching with alarm clock on the table. Creating and sticking to a daily routine can help you ground yourself and find your new normal. Getting out of bed and making breakfast is a great start. Try to go for a walk, attend a workout class, or fit some form of exercise into your day. Having a familiar routine and knowing what to expect each day can give you a sense of control, even as you feel a little out of control after losing your loved one.

Find a support system

Man slouched over with someone's hand on his shoulder. Establishing a support system is a great way to get the physical help and emotional care you need during a time of loss. You can find a grief support group and chat with others who understand what you are going through. If a group setting is a bit overwhelming or just not your thing, reach out to a grief therapist. By connecting with others, you can share the load of your grief with people who care.

Identify positive outlets for your grief

Close up of shoes walking on a path. In order to heal, you need to find a way to express your grief. When you have the energy (it may not be right away), look for positive outlets to help you release your emotions and anything that may be pent-up inside you. For example, you could take a boxing class, go for a run, write in your journal, read poetry, or color as a way to process your grief. Adding a few relaxing hobbies and activities to your routine can be a productive way to move toward healing.

Visit your loved one’s final resting place

Monuments with color flowers. Visiting your loved one’s final resting place can be a cathartic step in your healing journey. For some, it may feel normal to visit a loved one’s final resting place as often as possible because it brings comfort. For others, visiting may feel uncomfortable, unnecessary, or even pointless at first. But consider giving it a try, either now or in the future. Spending time at your loved one’s resting place can be a healing experience and bring you closure.

Hopefully, you now have a better understanding of some of the most common behavioral changes to expect after a loss and how to deal with them when they come. But in addition to these changes, you may experience other behavioral shifts, and that’s okay. Every grief journey is different, so pay attention to your personal triggers and any new behaviors. And if you’d like help on the grief journey, reach out to a therapist in your area. They can help you build coping skills and learn how to navigate any behavioral changes you may experience.

No matter what, give yourself kindness and grace as you learn to navigate life without your loved one by your side. You have experienced a major loss, and unwanted changes have come into your life. Allow yourself to grieve in your own way, at your own pace, and in your own time.

Feb 24

Love0

Woman reviewing notifications on social media

Tips for Writing a Memorial Post on Social Media

By christy.kessler Educational, Grief/Loss, Memorial

When you’re grieving, remembrance and expression are an essential part of the healing process. You need time to sit with your memories, turn them over in your mind, and process them. And as you review each memory, lean into how it makes you feel and express what’s going on in your mind and heart.

One way to meet both needs (remembrance and expression) is to create a memorial post for social media. As you craft a memorial post (either before or any time after the funeral), you can look back on your loved one’s life (remembrance) and put what you’re thinking and feeling into words (expression). In many ways, the process can be incredibly cathartic and help you get things that are whirling around in your heart and mind outside of yourself in a healthy way. But how do you write a memorial post for social media? Let’s talk about it.

Why Post on Social Media?

For most of us, social media has become a normal, everyday part of our lives. While social media comes with its positives and negatives, it is an excellent way to connect with others quickly and easily. By publishing a memorial post on social media, you:

Honor your loved one’s life and memory publicly
Express what’s on your heart and mind
Reflect on the meaningful moments you experienced with your loved one
Invite others to remember your loved one’s life alongside you
Receive love and support from others
Encourage others to reflect on their own grief in a healthy way

Grief is a universal experience. Every person on this planet knows what it is to experience grief and loss. By creating a memorial post, you acknowledge that collective experience and open the door to compassion, reflection, and eventually, healing.

5 Tips for Writing a Memorial Post on Social Media

So, how do you get started? Here are 5 simple tips for writing a memorial post, but remember, these are guidelines, not rules.

1. Select a Meaningful Image, Video, Song, or Quote

Perhaps the easiest place to start is with choosing a meaningful image, video, song, or quote. You can then use this chosen media to inspire what you write in the post. Plus, a visual can enhance the post by adding a layer of connection and evoke emotions and memories.

You could choose a photo that means a lot to you or one that captures a milestone event in your life or your loved one’s life. By using a video, your loved one’s physical presence and vitality add a dynamic element to the post. Alternatively, you could include a meaningful quote or share a song that brings tears to your eyes and memories to your heart.

2. Write from the Heart

When writing a memorial post, it’s okay to let your emotions guide you. Because the intention of a memorial post is to reflect on memories, use sincere and heartfelt language as you express your grief and share the story behind meaningful moments. Feel free to talk about how difficult it has been without that special person and how much you miss them.

However, a few tips on what not to include: it’s best to stay respectful, avoid controversial topics, and refrain from sharing traumatic details about the death. Also, if you are posting about a non-family member, be mindful of the family’s privacy and don’t reveal details that are meant to remain private.

3. Add Personal Touches

As you write, consider adding personal touches to the post. You could share a specific memory, talk about a shared experience, or discuss your loved one’s unique quirks. Talk about their love of music or pop culture or 8-track tapes or the color yellow.

If you’ve included a video with the post, give some context and share why it means so much to you. You can also do this with photos, memes, GIFs, or songs. As you add personal details to your memorial post, you not only express your own sentiments and feelings, but you also transform a general tribute into a unique portrait of your loved one’s life.

4. Include a Call to Action (Optional)

It’s possible that your post may serve two purposes: honoring your loved one’s life and promoting a cause or event. Perhaps your loved one was deeply involved in the local theatre scene, and there’s a new play opening this weekend. You could share a memory about going to plays with your loved one and encourage everyone to go enjoy the newest production!

In a case like this, you can include a call to action. For example, “I’m going out to support the theatre this weekend to honor Dad! I hope to see you there.” Alternatively, you can share a loved one’s final tribute details or highlight their favorite non-profit. No matter what the cause or event, you can create a sense of community and support by inviting others to join in.

5. Think, Review, and Revise

No matter what you’re writing (academic paper, email, social media comment, etc.), always take time to think, review, and revise.

Stop to think about what you’ve written. Does it say what you want to say? Does it hit the tone and purpose you’re going for? Is what you’ve said going to hurt any family or friends who are grieving?
Review each word you’ve written. Are you clear and concise? Are there any grammatical errors or misspellings? Did you forget to add any necessary details?
And finally, if you see something you want to change, revise it right away.

Two easy proofreading hacks are reading it aloud and asking someone else to review it. When you read it aloud, anything that’s off will often rise to the surface. Did everything make sense to you? Did you trip over any wording or feel like the phrasing was awkward? And when you ask a friend to read your post, they may see something you didn’t. Once the post is fully reviewed, make edits as needed. Once you’re happy with it, it’s time to post!

What Happens After You Post?

Once your memorial post is live, people may post comments on it. These comments are likely to be supportive and kind, sharing in your grief. If you wish, you can react or reply to comments and talk more about the loss. But if you simply want to read the comments and not go any further, that’s okay, too. Also, some people are unkind or simply oblivious, so if you see a rude or inappropriate comment, you can either ignore it or delete it. This is your memorial post, and you can curate it however you want.

Also, it’s unlikely, but it’s possible that someone may post a rude or inappropriate comment. Decide now how you will respond if that happens. The simplest responses are to either ignore the comment or delete it. This is your memorial post, and you can do what you want with it. Just because someone makes a comment doesn’t mean you have to keep it.

Writing a memorial post is a beautiful way to celebrate a person’s life and the impact they had on others. Whether you’re crafting a tribute for a beloved family member, a cherished friend, or a respected colleague, the process requires sensitivity, thoughtfulness, and a touch of creativity. May these simple tips help you create a loving post that honors that special person and brings comfort to your heart and peace to your soul.

Feb 13

Love0

Understanding the Benefits of Pet Therapy for Hospice Patients

By Kaylan Frank Educational, Hospice, Pets

Hospice patients and their families carry a tremendous emotional weight during the transition to end‑of‑life care. During the difficult moments, they often seek joyful moments and opportunities for meaningful experiences to help alleviate the stress that comes with this trying time.

While hospice care alone is designed to improve quality of life for terminally ill patients, pet therapy can add a powerful source of connection and comfort. But what is pet therapy, and how does it benefit hospice patients?

What is Pet Therapy?

Pet therapy provides hospice patients with comfort and support through companionship with a qualified furry or feathered friend. This kind of therapy uses animals to lift the spirits of those who are facing life’s final chapter and dealing with the anticipatory grief that accompanies it. Also referred to as animal-assisted therapy, or AAT, pet therapy provides animals that are trained to help reduce stress, improve overall mood, and promote physical activity for those in hospice care.

How Can Hospice Patients Benefit from Pet Therapy?

1. Emotional Encouragement

Pets bring joy by improving moods, decreasing feelings of isolation, and providing companionship to even the most difficult-to-reach patients. This type of therapy provides a sense of purpose for patients and can help reduce negative feelings towards other forms of therapy, like physical or occupational, when they have a furry friend alongside them.

2. Mental Support

Pet therapy increases mental stimulation and has the potential to evoke cherished memories of a beloved pet or childhood experience. Companionship from a therapy animal can release hormones like oxytocin, serotonin, and prolactin, boosting moods and promoting relaxation.

3. Physical Benefits

Pet therapy also has proven physical health benefits. Studies show that petting an animal can lower blood pressure, decrease heart rate, and promote overall well-being. Additionally, when a therapy pet is around, hospice patients are generally more motivated to exercise by playing, cuddling, petting, or walking their animal companion. And in some cases, a therapy animal can even assist with physical and occupational therapy.

4. Social Empowerment

Animal-assisted therapy visits reduce loneliness and boredom by providing a companion that patients can form a different type of connection with, offering them an outlet for their emotions. Sometimes, patients who don’t readily engage with others will open up and interact more easily with an animal. This can be especially beneficial for those with dementia or Alzheimer’s who might struggle to communicate comfortably.

Overall, pet therapy offers a range of advantages to address various needs among hospice patients. They can bring joy, comfort, and a sense of fun companionship to those who may feel lonely or are in search of connection. All patients, regardless of allergies or mobility restrictions, can benefit from the program and experience the company and joy of engaging with compassionate animals.

Which Animals are Commonly Used in Pet Therapy?

Dogs

Dogs are great at sensing subtle human emotions and using their presence to bring comfort. Fully trained therapy dogs and their handlers can visit hospice patients a couple of times a month, or sometimes weekly, to provide companionship and build relationships.

Cats

Cats bring a playful, loving, and quiet presence and are among the most requested pet therapy animals. While cats cannot be trained in the same way therapy dogs are, they can learn specific cues and perform tricks to bring joy to those receiving hospice care.

Miniature Horses

Miniature horses, now the second most common therapy animal, are ideal for individuals who need a calm and gentle companion. Considered a light activity, grooming and petting a miniature horse provides sensory input and supports motor skills.

Rabbits

Rabbits are a great alternative for patients who are allergic to cats or dogs. They can fit in someone’s lap as a cuddly companion for plenty of petting, which is a comforting activity that provides great tactile stimulation.

Birds

Birds are fun and unique therapy companions. Although they require a great deal of training before being ready to serve, their cheerful behavior brings a lot of entertainment and laughter to patients and their families.

Pigs

Pigs are highly social and intelligent animals that can easily pick up on a person’s emotional state. They can also lend a helping hoof with physical and occupational therapy, supporting patients who are working on mobility!

What are the Benefits for Family Members?

While it can be heartbreaking to witness the mental and physical decline of a loved one, pet therapy offers a unique source of comfort and joy, not only for patients but also for their families and caregivers. The playful nature of a cat, the cheerful chirp of a bird, or the soothing presence of a rabbit can create memorable moments that might otherwise feel out of reach.

These interactions often provide families with rare opportunities to connect meaningfully, such as when a loved one lights up at the sight of an animal after being difficult to engage person-to-person. Or someone who grew up around horses but now struggles with communication may experience a flood of cherished memories when meeting a miniature horse, turning an ordinary day into something extraordinary. Such encounters can bring joy to the patient’s family and remind them of the profound impact of meaningful connection.

family with nurse and dog

As pet therapy grows in popularity, research reveals increasingly unique and powerful connections. This form of therapy has been proven to lift patients’ spirits and create meaningful opportunities for connection, thereby improving their mood and supporting other types of therapies they may require. The benefits of pet therapy are astounding, so if you have a loved one currently in hospice care, consider speaking with your hospice care team about inviting a therapy animal for a visit.

Jan 20

Love0

different types of makeup spread out on a table with a lighted mirror in the background

What is a Mortuary Cosmetologist?

By Becca Corbett Educational

After losing a loved one, you and your family will face a range of emotions and will each experience your own journey toward healing with unique needs. For many, seeing a loved one’s body in person following the death (often called a “viewing”) is a necessary and crucial part of the healing process.

If you’ve chosen to include a viewing, a team of people will prepare the body and ensure that your loved one looks just as you remember them. A mortuary cosmetologist is a key person assisting in the restoration and preparation process. But what is a mortuary cosmetologist, and how do you become one? Let’s talk about it.

What is a mortuary cosmetologist?

If a family is interested in an open-casket viewing, visitation, or funeral service, the body must be prepared in a specific manner. A mortuary cosmetologist, or mortuary makeup artist, is a professional who prepares the body for the family.

At the arrangement conference, the family will provide a reference photo for what their loved one looked like in life. Using the image, the mortuary cosmetologist will employ various techniques to temporarily restore the body to a familiar state. Then the family can view their loved one in a recognizable form. By providing this service, the mortuary cosmetologist ensures that the deceased is treated with dignity and looks as they did in life, which can bring comfort to the grieving family.

What methods does a mortuary cosmetologist use?

Through the restoration process, a mortuary cosmetologist may employ several different artistic techniques to ensure that your loved one appears as you remember them.

Applying creams and lotions

Through a combination of creams and lotions, the artist restores the skin on the face as much as possible. These creams focus on rehydrating and preserving the skin, as well as providing a base layer before makeup application. Additionally, if there is trauma to the face, a more specialized cream can be used to aid in restoration.

Applying makeup

A mortuary cosmetologist uses professional makeup to help the deceased look more like themselves. This isn’t typical, everyday glam makeup. Instead, it is a special mortuary-grade makeup used to add color and give the skin a more lifelike look.

Fixing hair and nails

Another aspect of preparing the body for viewing is hairdressing and cleaning the nails. Families can request a specific hairstyle or nail color for their loved one. This act of care ensures that the body appears neat and respectable, making a loved one look more recognizable to the family.

Using prosthetics and wax

In some instances, prosthetics or wax may be required to restore and reshape a part of the face or body. The cosmetologist will make molds and repair damaged body parts to restore a loved one’s appearance as much as possible.

Are you interested in becoming a mortuary cosmetologist?

If mortuary cosmetology piques your interest, that’s great! However, there are some important aspects of the job you should consider. When deciding if mortuary cosmetology might be the right fit for you, ask yourself the following questions.

Do you have “the stomach” for this profession? Performing the duties of a mortuary cosmetologist is not for the faint of heart. Most importantly, you must feel comfortable working with corpses on a daily basis. Not everyone is suited for this profession, so consider it carefully.
Do you possess the necessary qualities? As a mortuary cosmetologist, you aren’t only interacting with the deceased but also with their families. During their time of need, you will need to be empathetic, supportive, and respectful to the families who are entrusting you with their loved one.
Is this a sustainable profession for you? As with any profession, you want something you can stick with for a long time, especially when there are classes and certifications involved. Consider whether mortuary cosmetology is sustainable for you and something you can commit to long-term.

How do you get started?

If you’re interested in pursuing the field of mortuary cosmetology, there are a couple of routes that will give you the required training to enter the industry.

Mortuary Science degree

One way to become a mortuary cosmetologist is to obtain a Mortuary Science degree. By earning this degree, you will learn about different processes, including embalming and the preservation of remains. While embalming is not always a necessary skill for a mortuary cosmetologist, it is beneficial to know about the process and what it might mean for you as an artist.

Additionally, due to the nature of the job, a mortuary cosmetologist must be very familiar with human anatomy. Choosing this route allows you to understand mortuary cosmetology from the perspective of a funeral director and anticipate what is expected in postmortem makeup.

Cosmetology degree

Another option for entering this field is obtaining your cosmetology license through a state-accredited cosmetology school. Typically, you will need to earn your Associate of Applied Science in Cosmetology. You could also complete a certificate program and then pass a certification test.

Through your training, you will learn the necessary skills required to apply makeup and fix hair. However, additional training in the restorative arts may be required to ensure that the skills are effectively translated to mortuary cosmetology.

One key benefit of this route is that it may make it easier to pursue a career in a different cosmetology field in the future. If mortuary cosmetology isn’t the best fit for you, you could work as a makeup artist or hairstylist in another field.

Both of these options provide the experience you will need to become a mortuary cosmetologist. Once you have the essential credentials, you can apply for a job through a hiring platform or, more commonly, by word of mouth. Roles vary from becoming a full-time mortuary cosmetologist for one funeral home to part-time at multiple locations.

hand on top of another hand on a bed

Hopefully, you now have a deeper understanding of what a mortuary cosmetologist does and how to become one. Ensuring a deceased loved one looks their best can positively impact the grieving family. Plus, it can be a fulfilling career for the mortuary cosmetologist. If you are interested in becoming a mortuary cosmetologist, you can also speak to a local funeral home and see if they have any suggestions or advice.

Disclaimer: When pursuing your mortuary cosmetology certifications, always research the laws in your state, as they can vary significantly. Ultimately, whichever path you choose needs to fit your preferences and lifestyle.

Dec 31

Love0

4 Ways Natural Organic Reduction is Eco-Friendly

By christy.kessler Educational, Explore Options

Are you interested in an eco-friendly funeral? Then consider looking into natural organic reduction! According to research, the entire process uses 87% less energy than traditional flame cremation and fewer natural resources than conventional burial. How, you may ask? Let’s talk about natural organic reduction and 4 ways that the process is gentle on the body and kind to the planet.

What is Natural Organic Reduction?

In case you haven’t heard much about natural organic reduction, let’s review a quick definition.

Natural organic reduction is the process of transforming human remains into nutrient-rich soil through controlled natural decomposition. The body is placed in a specialized container with organic materials like wood, straw, and alfalfa. Then, by controlling the heat, moisture, and temperature inside the container, decomposition takes place quickly, and as the body merges with the natural materials, nutrient-rich soil is created. Fascinating, right?

4 Ways Natural Organic Reduction is Eco-Friendly

Now, let’s discuss why natural organic reduction is considered one of the more eco-friendly funeral options.

1. Uses Less Energy

As stated earlier, natural organic reduction uses significantly less energy and natural resources than conventional burial or cremation. But why is that?

Compared to Cremation

Traditional flame cremation requires a sustained heat of approximately 1,600 degrees Fahrenheit for 3 to 4 hours. This high heat is achieved through fossil fuels, like natural or propane gas. As the cremation takes place, carbon dioxide and particulates are released into the atmosphere. According to the data, more than 300,000 metric tons of carbon are released through cremation every year.

On the other hand, natural organic reduction relies on electricity for its low heat component, not fossil fuels. By using electricity, natural organic reduction cuts down on its carbon footprint significantly.

Compared to Burial

For a burial to take place, you need several manufactured items, including a casket, headstone, and grave liner. To meet these needs in the United States, manufacturers use roughly 20 million feet of wood and 1.6 million tons of concrete each year.

In addition to using natural resources like wood and concrete, there are environmental factors associated with transporting the items, like gasoline and vehicle exhaust.

With natural organic reduction, there’s no casket or grave liner, reducing energy use by cutting down on manufacturing and transport. While you may still wish to commission a memorial plaque, the size and material are entirely up to you (no need to abide by any cemetery regulations).

2. Moves Away from Harsh Chemicals

During the natural organic reduction process, great care is taken to ensure that everything is done naturally and with minimal environmental impact. One way that the process protects the environment is by banning the use of any chemicals, including embalming fluids.

Let’s put it into perspective. In 2024, the CDC published that just over 3 million Americans died during the year. Of those, 31.6% likely chose burial (according to the NFDA’s 2025 statistics). On average, 3 gallons of embalming fluid are used per person, which means that approximately 2.8 million gallons of embalming fluid are used each year. While many funeral homes are moving toward using embalming fluid made from essential oils and extracts, traditional formaldehyde, phenol, and methanol are still quite common.

By eliminating the use of chemicals entirely, natural organic reduction supports a cleaner and healthier ecosystem.

3. Conserves Natural Resources

We’ve already talked about how natural organic reduction conserves natural resources like fossil fuels, wood, and concrete. On top of that, natural organic reduction also works to conserve and revitalize land.

As there is no traditional gravesite, the family does not need to purchase a plot or use private land for a loved one’s final resting place. Instead, the soil created during the natural organic reduction process can be used to restore and revitalize protected areas where vital environmental repair is needed.

And for those concerned about chemical seepage (from burying an embalmed body), natural organic reduction removes that concern entirely by prohibiting embalming.

4. Boosts Soil Health

The natural organic reduction process creates roughly one cubic yard of soil (or 1,000 pounds). Before natural organic reduction was legalized, tests were conducted to ensure that the soil was safe for use in nature. Research found that the soil’s pH range was ideal for most plants (other than tender annuals).

The soil composition is balanced, providing rich nutrient content with a good supply of macronutrients. What does that mean? Once the soil is ready for use, the family can take it home for private use. Or, if they prefer, they can donate the soil to a land conservation program.

Regardless of which option the family selects, the soil will go back into the environment, nourishing ecosystems and revitalizing plant life.

What If I Have More Questions?

You now have a better understanding of why natural organic reduction is considered eco-friendly and green, but that doesn’t mean all your questions are answered. To get more information, check out the resources below or contact your local funeral home today!

How Does Natural Organic Reduction Work?

An FAQ Guide to Natural Organic Reduction

Dec 31

Love0

Looking up at the top of green trees with slivers of blue sky beyond

How Does Natural Organic Reduction Work?

By christy.kessler Educational

When deciding your funeral preferences, you might be wondering what options are available. Natural organic reduction (NOR) is a green funeral option that you may not know much about. Today, let’s talk about what it is and how the process works.

What is Natural Organic Reduction?

To keep it simple, natural organic reduction is the process of transforming human remains into nutrient-rich soil through controlled natural decomposition. Washington State was the first to legalize natural organic reduction, and other states have followed suit since then. Both gentle and sustainable, natural organic reduction is becoming an eco-friendly alternative to classic burial and cremation.

What’s the Process for Natural Organic Reduction?

As you might guess, there are a few steps to the natural organic reduction process. It takes time and precision to turn the human body into perfectly balanced, nutrient-rich soil.

Step 1: Preparation of the Body and the Vessel

Body preparation: As with any form of final disposition, the body must always be prepared. For natural organic reduction, this means washing the body and placing it in a compostable garment. Because natural organic reduction is a green practice, there is no embalming or restorative work done on the body. It’s a simple cleansing and clothing process before keeping the body cool with regulated temperature conditions.

Vessel preparation: In addition to preparing the body, the vessel must also be made ready. The “vessel” is the pod/container where the body will go through the natural organic reduction process. Based on the person’s body weight, the vessel is filled with wood chips, alfalfa, and straw. These natural materials will aid in the decomposition process over the coming weeks. Once the vessel is ready, the prepared body is placed inside and covered with more natural material.

Step 2: The “Laying In” Period

Once the body is sealed in the vessel, it will remain there for roughly five to seven weeks. The timeline varies depending on the provider you use. During the laying in period, the microbes in the wood chips, alfalfa, and straw speed up the decomposition process and create change at a molecular level.

By controlling the ratio of carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, heat, and moisture inside the vessel, providers can create the perfect environment for microbes and beneficial bacteria to thrive. Additionally, staff will occasionally rotate the vessel to ensure that every corner of the vessel receives proper air flow. The aeration (oxygen circulation) combined with the microbes cause the body and the plant material to break down and become soil.

Let’s break down each element a little more:

Aeration – The straw, wood chips, and other organic material need oxygen to promote microbial activity, which is necessary for decomposition.
Moisture Control – Too much moisture can hinder the decomposition process, so vessels are monitored to ensure they maintain the proper moisture levels.
Temperature Control – In addition to moisture, temperature must also be closely monitored; generally, an optimal temperature of between 131°F and 160°F is maintained throughout the process.

Every aspect of the laying in period is closely monitored to ensure that each element of the process runs smoothly, from start to finish.

Step 3: The “Curing” or “Resting” Period

Once enough time has passed, the soil is removed from the vessel and screened for non-organic items, like hip replacements or stents. The soil is then placed in a separate container (perhaps a cube or a bin) where it will cure or rest for another three to five weeks.

During this resting period, the soil will cool and microbial activity will slow. Once the curing phase is complete, the soil is balanced, nutrient-rich, and ready to use in nature.

Step 4: The Soil Finds New Life

Finally, the soil is ready to find new life. It is free of toxins and contains no heavy metals or pathogens, making it safe for use in the natural world.

The family may choose to take the soil home and use it in their own garden or yard. Alternatively, they can donate it to a soil conservation non-profit, where the soil will be used to revitalize forests.

Wherever the soil finds a home, it will nourish new life and continue to benefit our world.

What’s Next?

Hopefully, you now have a fuller understanding of how the natural organic reduction process works. If you have additional questions, please speak with a trusted local funeral home that offers natural organic reduction. They will help you understand what your service options are (yes, you can still have a service!), personalization ideas, pricing, and much more.

You can click here to see if natural organic reduction is legal in your state. Also, check out “An FAQ Guide to Natural Organic Reduction” for answers to commonly asked questions.