Grief/Loss

After losing a loved one, it’s natural to want to avoid things that trigger your grief, like your loved one’s clothes, their favorite song, or a place that was special to the two of you. However, studies have shown that avoiding your grief can keep you from healing and lead to more serious issues, like complicated grief.

While allowing yourself time to heal is certainly important, it’s also necessary to let yourself feel those more negative emotions so you can continue on your grief journey. Instead of bottling up your feelings, find healthy ways to let yourself feel your grief.

While everyone expresses their grief differently, here are 8 ideas to get you started.

1. Write

Writing, whether through journaling, blogging, or writing poetry, can be a great way to express your grief. Many people struggle to understand their emotions until they begin to write. A grief journal can be a great way to understand your grief better and see your progress along your grief journey. You could also write a letter to your loved one to say things you wish you could have told them.

However you choose to write, don’t focus too much on grammar or finding the perfect words. You don’t have to show anyone what you write, so immerse yourself the process and focus on being honest with yourself.

2. Talk

For many people, talking about emotions can be intimidating. Sometimes, it can be hard to put emotions into words, or you may be afraid that someone will judge you. That’s okay! You can start small. Try talking out loud about your grief when you’re on your own or visit your loved one’s grave and talk to them. If you have a friend or family member you trust who is willing to listen and support you, you can meet up with them for coffee or lunch to talk together.

If you don’t have a friend or family member you feel comfortable opening up to, you can also visit a grief therapist or join a grief support group. Getting help from a professional can be an excellent way to better understand and express your grief.

3. Cry

After losing a loved one, many people feel pressured to stay strong. Maybe you feel like you need to support other family members who are grieving or act like nothing’s wrong at work, school, or social events. But crying isn’t a sign of weakness. In fact, crying can help balance your emotions and improve your mental well-being. Allowing yourself to cry can help you acknowledge your grief and begin to heal.

If you feel unable to cry, that’s okay, too! It may take time before you can express your grief in this way. You could also try watching a sad movie or listening to a song with lyrics that make you think of your loved one. But don’t pressure yourself too much.

4. Music

Many people use music as a creative outlet, and it can also be a great tool for expressing your grief. Whether you write songs, play an instrument, or simply enjoy listening to music, you can find meaningful ways to express your emotions. You could compose a song about your loved one or play one of their favorite tunes on the piano. You can put together a playlist with their favorite artist or genre. If you enjoy dancing, you could create a dance to one of your loved one’s favorite songs. Music can help you express what words can’t, so however you choose to enjoy music, let the lyrics and rhythm move you.

5. Art & Creativity

Just as music can say what words can’t, art can help us express ourselves in unique ways. Art and creativity create opportunities for expression you may not find anywhere else. Maybe you have always loved painting or woodwork, or perhaps you want to try something new, like knitting or scrapbooking. You could choose to create something in honor of your loved one or use the creative process itself to help you release your emotions. Even something as simple as coloring can make room for your grief and help you feel your emotions while your hands are busy. Whether you keep your art private or share it with others, the act of creation can help you process, understand, and express your grief.

6. Exercise

Grief can take its toll on your physical and mental health. While the last thing you may feel like doing is getting up and moving, exercise can help you in your grief journey – and help you express your grief. Whether you try yoga or stretching, participate in sports, or work on a more intense exercise regimen, incorporating movement into your day can help you relax, which may provide you with the release you need to let out your tears, frustration, or anger.

7. Get Outside

When you’re grieving, sometimes you need a break from the pressures of everyday life. Spending time in nature is a great way to do that. Getting outside in the sun, seeing wildlife and plants, and breathing fresh air can give you the space to let yourself feel your grief. You could do something simple, like take a short walk, spend time in the garden, sit outside, or read a book on your patio. Or you could go for a hike or camping trip to immerse yourself in the outdoors. Whatever way you choose, take time to enjoy nature and allow yourself to let your guard down.

8. Participate in Remembrance Activities

Was there anything your loved one enjoyed doing? A hobby, a sport, or volunteer work? One way to express your grief is to do something that helps you feel close to your loved one. If your loved one enjoyed scrapbooking, you could make a page with photos of them. If they liked to play soccer, you can get friends to play a game at the local park.

Or you could do a more solemn activity in their memory, like lighting a candle or visiting their grave. By taking time to remember your loved one, you can express your grief and honor their amazing life.

As you continue along your grief journey, be patient with yourself. Everyone grieves differently, and what works for one person may not work for another. While expressing your grief and letting yourself feel it is important, give yourself time. You may not feel ready yet, but eventually, you’ll better understand your grief and grow more comfortable expressing it.

Good dads are strong pillars, men we can count on, lean on, and depend on throughout our lives. For those lucky enough to have an outstanding dad, his loss can stir up many emotions, including sadness, shock, confusion, or even regret. These emotions are all normal and natural after the death of a loved one.

If you are grieving the loss of a father, take comfort in these 10 poems that beautifully express the special relationship between a father and his children. And as you read them, take note of your own feelings. Write down your thoughts. Pay attention to the ones that bring tears to your eyes. And above all, remember your dad and honor his place in your life and his part in shaping who you are today.

1. Special Hero (by Christina M. Kerschen)

When I was a baby,
you would hold me in your arms.
I felt the love and tenderness,
keeping me safe from harm.
I would look up into your eyes,
and all the love I would see.
How did I get so lucky?
You were the dad chosen for me.

2. Dad (by Susan Smith)

To me, Dad, you’re everything
I cannot begin to say,
You’ve loved, cared, and looked out for me
You’ve made me who I am today.
Dad, you’ve always been understanding
and showered me with concern,
You’re my knight in shining armor
You’re my dad and best friend.

3. God Made a Father (by Abigail Stott)

God once made a father
his best one of all
he was smart loving and determined
to come when his kids called

This father could be serious
he would sometimes get mad
but he was forgiving
when you did something bad

This father could be silly
he would tell many jokes
he could be quite annoying
when he gave tickles and pokes

God gave him to someone
but who could it be?
This very lucky person
turned out to be me.

4. Only a Dad (by Edgar Guest)

Only a dad, with a tired face,
Coming home from the daily race,
Bringing little of gold or fame,
To show how well he has played the game,
But glad in his heart that his own rejoice
To see him come, and to hear his voice.

Only a dad, with a brood of four,
One of ten million men or more.
Plodding along in the daily strife,
Bearing the whips and the scorns of life,
With never a whimper of pain or hate,
For the sake of those who at home await.

Only a dad, neither rich nor proud,
Merely one of the surging crowd
Toiling, striving from day to day,
Facing whatever may come his way,
Silent, whenever the harsh condemn,
And bearing it all for the love of them.

Only a dad, but he gives his all
To smooth the way for his children small,
Doing, with courage stern and grim,
The deeds that his father did for him.
This is the line that for him I pen,
Only a dad, but the best of men.

5. Dads Show Us the Way (by Harrison Beslow)

Dads are the guiding lights that lead the way,
Raising kids to be strong, brave, and never stray,
Teaching us to try hard, and put ourselves to the test,
To see the funny side of things, and do our best.

Dads inspire us to be optimistic and kind,
To find our mission in life, and always keep in mind,
That success comes to those who never give up,
Who work hard and never hold a grudge.

With patience and love, dads show us the way,
To live in the here and now, and seize each day,
To face life’s challenges with grace and ease,
And to never ever give up on our dreams.

Dads teach us values that shape our lives,
To be kind to others, and treat them with respect and thrive,
Their love and guidance, we’ll cherish forevermore,
For dads play a crucial role in the world, that we can’t ignore.

6. My Dad, My Teacher (by Reese Carlington)

From the very start, my dad’s been there,
Teaching me to ride my bike without a care.
When my toys broke, he fixed them with a grin,
And when I needed help, he always pitched in.

Through every scrape and tear, he wiped away my fears,
Making everything okay, and drying up my tears.
He’s been my rock, my guide, my hero, all in one,
And I’m grateful for everything he’s done.

He’s taught me to be kind, and to spread my wings,
And he’s always been there to help with anything.
With his patience and love, he’s helped me through it all,
And I’m grateful for his support, big and small.

I’m lucky to have such an awesome dad,
And I’m grateful for all the fun we’ve had.
He’s the best friend I could ever wish for,
And I’ll always love him more and more.

7. As We Look Back (by Clare Jones)

As we look back over time
We find ourselves wondering
Did we remember to thank you enough
For all you have done for us?
For all the times you were by our sides
To help and support us
To celebrate our successes
To understand our problems
And accept our defeats?
Or for teaching us by your example,
The value of hard work, good judgement,
Courage and integrity?
We wonder if we ever thanked you
For the sacrifices you made.
To let us have the very best?
And for the simple things
Like laughter, smiles and times we shared?
If we have forgotten to show our
Gratitude enough for all the things you did,
We’re thanking you now.
And we are hoping you knew all along,
How much you meant to us.

8. Silent Strong Dad (by Karen K. Boyer)

He never looks for praises
He’s never one to boast
He just goes on quietly working
For those he loves the most

His dreams are seldom spoken
His wants are very few
And most of the time his worries
Will go unspoken too

He’s there…A firm foundation
Through all our storms of life
A sturdy hand to hold to
In times of stress and strife

A true friend we can turn to
When times are good or bad
One of our greatest blessings,
The man that we call Dad

9. Dear Dad (by Anonymous)

You mean so very much to me,
And I want you to know
That you are always in my heart,
No matter where I go.

You’re always giving, always there
To help in any way;
The loving things you’ve done for me,
I never could repay.

I can’t imagine what I’d do
Without the love you give.
I’ll treasure your sweet heart of gold
As long as I shall live.

10. Where Would I Be Without You (by Corey Mitcherson)

My dad, my hero, always by my side,
From the moment I was born, he has been my guide.
He cared for me as a baby, taught me to crawl and walk,
And as I grew older, he taught me to talk.
He taught me to throw and catch, ride a bike and drive a car,
And to never give up, no matter how hard things are.
Without my dad, where would I be?
Lost and unsure, I don’t want to even think.

He has always been there, through thick and thin,
Supporting me, and helping me to win.
His guidance and faith in me, have given me the strength,
To overcome all obstacles, no matter the length.
He taught me about The Lord, and how to live a life of grace,
To be kind and compassionate, and to always have faith.
My dad, my hero, I’m grateful for all you’ve done,
And I thank the heavens above, for giving me the best one.

May these poems bring you comfort and help you remember your dad with love and tenderness. As you continue on your grief journey, make sure you talk with family and friends about what you’re feeling. Find ways to express yourself. Share your favorite memories. As you engage with your emotions and process your feelings of grief, you will move toward healing and reconciliation.

For more grief tips, check out these articles:

• Forever in Our Hearts: 10 Ways to Honor Dad’s Memory
• Give Yourself Permission to Grieve
• Grief & Difficult Relationships
• 5 Benefits of a Grief Journal
• 9 Tips for Staying Physically Healthy While Grieving
• 10 Helpful Tips When Grieving a Loss

When you lose your spouse or partner, everyday tasks like cooking can feel impossible. Maybe your loved one handled all of the cooking and you don’t know where to start. Or maybe you love cooking, but every time you step into the kitchen, you remember that your loved one won’t be there to enjoy your food.

You’re not alone! Those who are grieving often find cooking difficult. Cooking can take a lot of energy, and as you adjust to life without your loved one, it’s normal to struggle to find the motivation to cook, especially if you’re experiencing a change in appetite.

But there are steps you can take to help yourself cook. From preparing meals ahead of time to taking cooking classes, here are some of our top tips for getting back in the kitchen when you’re grieving.

Take a Cooking Class

Whether you have decades of cooking experience or are just now learning how to cook, taking a cooking class can be a huge help! If you’ve never had the role of cook in your household, a cooking class can help you expand your cooking skills and grow your confidence in the kitchen. If you already know how to cook but are struggling with motivation, a cooking class can help you rediscover your love of cooking and meet new people.

You may be able to find cooking classes at a local restaurant, support group, or even at your library! If you can’t find an in-person class, you can try an online cooking class through a website like America’s Test Kitchen Cooking School or explore cooking class videos on YouTube.

Cook Smaller Portion Sizes

If you’re used to cooking for two, you may find yourself with too much extra food on your hands. While leftovers can be convenient, you may not want to eat the same food for a whole week.

Adjusting the measurements in recipes can be a great help. If you need to cut a recipe in half, Google can help you with weird measurements, like half of 1/3 cup. You can also check out resources that specifically create recipes for one. One Dish Kitchen is a great resource, and AllRecipes also has some great options for meals for one.

Make One-Pot Meals

When you’re grieving, the idea of having to juggle multiple parts of a meal can be intimidating. You may not feel like making a main dish and sides. Plus, the more parts your meal has, the bigger the cleanup.

Instead of avoiding cooking because you feel like you have to make a lot of different things at once, explore one-pot meals! Casseroles, stews, skillets, and sheet pan meals that use only one pot or pan can make cooking and cleanup much easier. There are recipes for virtually every type of cuisine, and you never know when you’ll find a new favorite. Both Food Network and Taste of Home have long lists of one-pot meals you can try.

Try a Meal Box

Sometimes going to the grocery store after losing your partner can be difficult, especially if they were the one who typically handled the groceries. One solution is to invest in a meal box subscription like HelloFresh or Home Chef.

Meal box services like these send you the exact amount of ingredients that you need for each recipe, so you don’t have to worry about food waste or cooking too much food. Most have the option to choose how many servings you want to receive, which means you can make enough for just yourself or order extra to have leftovers.

Freeze Extra Portions

Sometimes you want easy meal prep, but you don’t want to eat a lot of leftovers. One way around this issue is to freeze extra portions of the meals you make. After cooking a meal, you can freeze leftovers by the portion to make reheating at a later date easier.

There are also plenty of recipes that you can make and freeze ahead of time, then cook when you’re ready! Taste of Home has some great freezer recipes, and Good Housekeeping has options for fridge or freezer make-ahead meals. If you’re interested in creating single-serving meals ahead of time, consider investing in containers that fit exactly one portion.

Share Food With Others

For many people who have lost a partner, sitting down to eat by themselves reminds them of their partner’s absence. If you’re struggling to eat because of loneliness, try eating meals with friends or family members. While you may not feel like cooking for a group of people, you can invite everyone to bring a dish, potluck-style.

Additionally, you can have a meal exchange with friends or family. Each person can make extra portions of the meal they’re cooking and swap them for a homecooked meal from someone else. This can be a great way to get more variety in your diet without making a lot of meals yourself.

Fill the Space at the Table

While inviting family and friends to eat with you can be an easy way to fill the space left behind by your loved one, there will likely still be times when no one is available. Instead of avoiding the kitchen when you’re alone, try to fill the empty space at your table.

You can physically fill the space by adding a centerpiece or decorations to the table. Or you can listen to music or watch TV while you eat so you don’t have to eat in silence. While these won’t eliminate the empty space at your table, they can help you cope with your loved one’s absence.

Consult Your Doctor or a Grief Therapist

If you find that you’re still struggling with motivation after a long period of time, especially due to depression, it may be a good idea to consult a grief therapist. And if you have a continuous lack of appetite, please consult your doctor. Taking care of your physical health is important when you’re grieving, and your doctor can help you find ways to improve your health.

As you begin to get back into the kitchen after losing your partner, be patient with yourself. It may take time for you to create a new routine and adjust to your new normal. Give yourself grace, and don’t hesitate to ask for help if you need it.