Losing a loved one takes both a physical and emotional toll on those left behind. While everyone copes with grief differently, it’s normal for those who are grieving to struggle to return to “normal.” Many people face food-related struggles, like overeating, loss of appetite, or eating disorders.
If you’re struggling with loss of appetite, you’re not alone! Whether you can’t find the motivation to cook or simply don’t feel hungry, know that this is a normal part of grief. While it may take time to get your appetite back, there are a few steps you can take to make things easier for yourself. But first, let’s talk about the connection between grief and appetite loss.
Why does grief affect appetite?
There are many reasons grief can affect someone’s appetite, but one of the biggest is that grief adds extra stress to our lives. While some people overeat for comfort when they’re stressed, others lose interest in eating or struggle with physical issues that make eating difficult, like nausea or digestive issues. Those who are grieving might simply forget to eat or not feel motivated to cook or eat.
Additionally, many of the struggles that people who are grieving experience, like anxiety, loneliness, and depression, can cause a lack of appetite. If the person who died was a very close loved one, the grieving person may also feel overwhelmed as they adjust to their new normal without that special person by their side.
Whether the thought of food makes you feel nauseous or you simply don’t have the energy to cook, here are a few tips that may help you find ways to nourish yourself while you’re grieving.
1. Stick with easily digestible foods
If you’re struggling with nausea or digestive issues, look for simple, easily digestible foods that your stomach can handle better. Avoid foods with lots of oil, spices, or sugar, and look for foods that don’t have a strong smell. Toast, bananas, rice, and other simple foods can help you get the nutrients you need and may help you regain your appetite.
2. Opt for easy-to-fix meals
For many people who are grieving, taking time to prepare a meal is a big hurdle, especially if they’ve lost a spouse who was the primary cook. One way to navigate this struggle is by finding easy-to-prepare options with foods you like. Some grocery stores have pre-prepared food like salads, sandwiches, or full meals you can heat and eat.
You can also keep a variety of snacks you know you like to eat, like cheese, fruit, nuts, crackers, or chips and dip. Anything easy to grab and snack on when you feel like it can help. Or you could opt for protein shakes, smoothies, or meal replacement shakes that give you nutrients while potentially being easier to stomach.
3. Try new foods or restaurants
If you find yourself avoiding food because it reminds you of your loved one, you’re not alone. It’s easy for the enjoyment of food to be overshadowed by grief. If you’re struggling with this, one option is to try new foods or restaurants that don’t hold memories of your loved one. Is there a type of cuisine you’ve never tried? A new restaurant that opened up down the street? By making eating an adventure, you can create new positive associations with food that may increase your appetite.
4. Eat your loved one’s favorites
While some people may want to avoid foods that remind them of their loved one, others may feel the opposite. At first, it may be painful to fix your loved one’s favorite meal or to order food from the restaurant you always dined at together. But enjoying food that reminds you of your loved one can be a beautiful way to honor their memory and find a little bit of comfort.
5. Create a routine
After losing someone you care about, getting back into a routine can be difficult. But having a routine, especially with regular mealtimes, can help motivate you to eat and encourage your appetite to return. Plus, you won’t have to think about when to eat or rely on how hungry you feel. While you shouldn’t force yourself to eat full meals if you don’t feel like it, you can use set meal times to give yourself some consistency.
6. Set reminders to eat
When you’re grieving and trying to re-establish your routine, it’s easy to lose track of time and miss meals. If you find yourself forgetting to eat, set reminders. Whether it’s an alarm on your phone or a space blocked off on your calendar, having a specific reminder that lets you know when it’s mealtime can help you remember to eat. Even if you don’t feel hungry then, you can grab a small bite or set a new alarm for a little later.
7. Ask for support
While it can be hard to ask for help, remember that you’re not in this alone. If you’re struggling with finding motivation to cook, friends and family could bring you meals, or your coworkers or church members could organize a meal train. Friends could help keep you accountable if you forget to eat, or they can help you find foods that won’t make you nauseated. And if your lack of appetite continues over a long period of time or results in excessive weight loss, you can consult with your doctor and consider exploring grief therapy options.
8. Give it time
For many people who are grieving, lack of appetite only lasts a few months, but for others, it can last a year or more. While you may feel frustrated if you don’t make progress immediately, be patient with yourself and celebrate the small wins. And if you have concerns about your appetite, digestive issues, or excessive weight loss, don’t hesitate to reach out to your doctor.
Coping with the loss of a loved one is difficult, and what works for one person may not work for you. As you continue on your grief journey, look for food-related strategies that work for you, and give yourself grace as you grieve your loved one and work to take care of your physical needs.
