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Delivering a eulogy is a meaningful but challenging honor. While you might be emotional about speaking at the funeral of someone you love, giving a eulogy is a beautiful way to honor a loved one’s life. By sharing memories and highlighting your loved one’s personality and character traits, a eulogy gives you and other mourners a chance to reflect on a life well-lived.

But delivering a eulogy also involves public speaking and sharing your emotions in front of others, which is difficult for many of us! If you don’t know what to expect while speaking at the funeral or how to prepare, here are a few tips to help you get started.

1. Write it out

woman writing a eulogy in a notebook on a wooden table next to a laptop and a cup of coffee
In speech class, you may have learned to speak from an outline instead of having everything written down. But when giving a eulogy, the last thing you want to do when standing in front of everyone is ad-lib and have your brain fill in the gaps on an outline. By writing out the eulogy word-for-word, you’ll make presenting easier on yourself, especially if you’re worried about getting emotional while speaking.

As you write the eulogy, read it aloud to make sure it flows and sounds natural when spoken. To learn how to write a compelling eulogy, read “How to Write a Eulogy” and “8 Tips for Crafting a Eulogy.”

2. Practice, practice, practice

woman practicing giving a eulogy with a friend
The most important part of delivering a eulogy is the practice you put in ahead of time. While you may be giving a eulogy on short notice, practicing as much as you can before the service will help you feel more confident and sound more relaxed. Try to memorize sections if you can, but don’t worry if you still have to read directly off the page at the funeral.

Additionally, if you can, practice the eulogy in front of someone you feel comfortable with in a low-stress environment. They can give you a second opinion about how the eulogy comes across to an audience. Plus, they can help you get experience delivering it in front of another person.

3. Speak slowly and clearly

Older man in a blue shirt holding a piece of paper and rehearsing a eulogy
Whether you’re comfortable with public speaking or terrified of it, delivering a eulogy can bring on a different set of nerves. And when you’re nervous, uncomfortable, or emotional, it’s normal to start talking faster as part of our fight-or-flight response. But talking quickly can make it harder for your audience to understand you and make it easier for you to trip over your words.

As you give the eulogy, concentrate on speaking slowly. Take time to enunciate your words and remove or practice pronouncing any difficult words. Don’t be afraid to pause and take a deep breath in between sentences to calm your nerves if needed. The other mourners at the funeral will understand if you need to take a second to compose yourself.

4. Relax your body language

microphone in front of a crowd at a funeral
If you’re nervous while giving a speech, it can be easy to tense up and revert to anxious body language, which can be distracting to an audience. While typical public speaking rules about rarely looking at your paper or projecting confidence don’t necessarily apply to eulogies, it’s good to maintain open body language.

As you read, don’t hunch over your paper, and try to look up at the audience if you feel comfortable. If you’re worried about making eye contact with someone and losing your composure, look at a point at the back of the room instead of the actual audience members. But if you don’t feel confident taking your eyes away from the page, that’s okay! Just try to keep a relaxed and open posture.

5. Let yourself be vulnerable

Close up of a person tightly holding onto a tissue with tense fisted hands
You may feel like you need to keep your composure as you deliver the eulogy, but it’s okay to show emotion or cry. Sharing treasured memories in front of a group of people is a vulnerable experience. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed by emotions while giving a eulogy. Other mourners at the service understand that you are also grieving for your lost loved one, and if you need to pause for a moment, they’ll understand.

If you’re worried about breaking down and being unable to finish the eulogy, some preparation ahead of time can help. When practicing the eulogy, pay attention to more personal spots where you get emotional so you can prepare for those moments during the service. Rehearsing the eulogy over and over can also soften the emotions you feel while reading. Before delivering the eulogy, take a few deep breaths and make sure you have tissues on hand.

Be patient with yourself as you prepare to deliver the eulogy. Writing, practicing, and giving a eulogy while you’re grieving can be challenging, so give yourself as much time as you can and allow yourself to feel whatever you need to.

More resources about eulogies:

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