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Jul 24
Love0
woman dropping off a meal for her friend

Meal Train Etiquette: Tips for Bringing Food to the Grieving

By Grief/Loss, Helping a Friend in Grief

When someone you know has lost a loved one, you likely want to be there to support them. Bringing a meal is a great way to do that! After losing a loved one, families have a lot going on, and it can be hard to plan, shop for, and cook meals. By bringing them a meal, you can help make their time of grieving a little bit easier.

If you decide to help your friends out by providing a meal, here are a few tips to keep in mind:

Contact the family ahead of time

person in a coffee shop on their phone

Before you drop off a meal for a family, contact them to find out what day and time works best for them. They may have other people bringing meals, or there may be days when they aren’t in town. If no one has created one, you can set up a Meal Train or Take Them a Meal schedule so friends and family can coordinate meals for the grieving family.

On the day you’re scheduled to drop off the meal, make sure to contact the family to set up a time to drop it off. That way, they’ll know you’re still coming and can ensure someone is at the house to accept the food.

If something comes up and you can’t make your scheduled time, contact the family as soon as possible to let them know and arrange an alternative, like ordering pizza to be delivered to their house or switching days with someone else.

Choose a dish based on the family’s preferences

baked pasta casserole on a table surrounded by ingredients

If a meal schedule is already set up, check to see if the family has provided any information about food preferences, allergies, and dietary needs. If not, contact the family to find out what they would prefer.

Depending on the family’s wishes, you can bring food from a restaurant, make something for them, or provide a ready-to-bake dish. Many people bring casseroles and lasagna, so suggest a few options you’re comfortable cooking and ask the family what they’d prefer.

If the family is open to options, lean toward foods that aren’t too spicy or exotic unless that’s their preference. Avoid common allergens, and try to bring dishes that are easy to freeze in case they don’t eat everything at once. For ideas on good recipes to bring to a grieving family, check out Pinch of Yum or this article from Love to Know.

Also, consider bringing sides with your meal, like garlic bread or salad. You can also add snacks for the family, like cut veggies, fruit, or chips. These can add some variety and give them something to enjoy between meals.

Use disposable containers

chicken baking in oven in foil pan

When putting together your meal, use disposable pans or baking sheets you don’t want back. You could also check your local thrift store for baking dishes to give to the family. When you drop off the food, be sure to let the family know that you don’t need the container back. You may also want to include a note listing what ingredients are in the dish and any cooking or reheating instructions.

Consider the timing

As you choose a meal, remember what time you’re bringing the food! If you’re dropping off the dish around mealtime, bring something hot. If you want to bring something the family will need to heat themselves, ask about dropping it off earlier so they have time to cook it.

Be mindful of children

If the family you’re bringing food to has children, remember them when planning! Kids can be picky, so think about that when bringing a dish and try to pick something that they might enjoy.

Typically, kids also have an early bedtime, so plan to bring food earlier in the evening. If you’re not sure what would be best, don’t be afraid to ask the family any questions you have about food or drop-off times.

Don’t overstay your welcome

woman dropping off a meal for her friend

While you may be eager to talk to the family or express your condolences, you should never overstay your welcome. The family may not feel like socializing while they’re grieving, and they are likely hungry and ready to eat!

If you don’t know the family well, keep your drop-off short and don’t go inside unless they invite you in. A few words, handing over the food, and a hug show your sympathy without being overbearing.

If the family does invite you in, try to keep your time there short unless you know them better and have agreed to a chat and visit. Read the room, pay attention to when they start to get tired or distracted, and excuse yourself. They’ll appreciate your thoughtfulness, and you won’t add additional stress to their time of grieving.

Help in other ways

man dropping off groceries for a friend

Families often receive dinner or lunch from other friends every day, so consider asking if they would prefer something different. Offer to bring them breakfast foods, either in the morning or dropping them off the evening before. Or ask if you can bring groceries or restock their pantry with easy-to-make foods, like mac and cheese, ramen, canned veggies, or soup.

Donations and gift cards are a great alternative to bringing a meal, too, since they’re flexible and can help fill in the gaps when the family doesn’t have anyone bringing food. If you’ve set up a Meal Train, you can add the option for donations so friends and family can contribute together.

Additionally, if you know the family well, consider asking them to your house for dinner instead of bringing a meal to them. This can help someone who’s grieving get a break from their own house and enjoy good company. If you do invite your grieving friend and/or their family, keep it casual and low-pressure, and be ready to offer an alternative if they decline. They may need more time before they feel ready to socialize.

Don’t be offended if your help is rejected

younger woman holding an older person's hands

Everyone reacts to grief differently, and the time after losing a loved one can be hectic for a grieving family. They may not have time to respond to your text or call or feel too overwhelmed to talk. That’s okay! It’s nothing against you. Be patient, give them time, and respect their wishes. You can always offer again in a few days or weeks.

As you prepare a meal for your grieving friends, don’t stress too much! Even if you don’t know what to say or how to express your condolences, your effort in bringing a meal and helping the family out makes a huge difference in their life and shows that you care. The grieving family will appreciate your kindness and support.

Other Resources for Supporting the Grieving

Jul 23
Love0
microphone for a eulogy

What’s the Difference Between a Eulogy and an Obituary?

By Meaningful Funerals

After the death of a loved one, you or another family member will need to write a eulogy and an obituary. But what is the difference between these two?

While both the eulogy and the obituary aim to honor the deceased and celebrate their life, these two forms of writing serve distinct purposes. Here are a few key ways eulogies and obituaries are different:

Spoken vs. Written

person typing on a laptop

The most significant difference between the eulogy and the obituary is that one is spoken, and one is written. An obituary is a written account of the deceased’s life, while a eulogy is a speech given at a funeral in honor of the person who has died.

A eulogy will be written before it’s spoken, but it should be written as a speech, with more emphasis on how it sounds than on how it appears on a page. An obituary will primarily be shared in print or online, so extra focus should be placed on grammar and organization.

Long vs. short

microphone for a eulogy

Another difference between eulogies and obituaries is their length. While the length can vary, eulogies are often much longer than obituaries.

While the length of a eulogy will vary based on the speaker’s speed, eulogies tend to be around 3-5 minutes, which means they’re usually at least a page or two long. This gives the speaker time to elaborate on specific stories or special memories of the deceased.

Since obituaries focus more on biographical information, they’re often shorter, usually around 200 words, although they can be longer. Some publications have a word count limit for obituaries, so an obituary writer will need to check to see if there are any specific length guidelines they need to follow.

Snapshot vs. Biography

person writing in a notebook

Both eulogies and obituaries honor the deceased and recount moments from their life, but their focus is usually different. The eulogy typically shares more of a snapshot of the deceased’s life. It may include some biographical information, but its main focus should be highlighting the legacy of the deceased: the meaningful moments and the lives they impacted.

On the other hand, obituaries tend to be more biographical. They typically focus on the deceased’s accomplishments and details about their family, providing a bird’s-eye view of who they were. That doesn’t mean an obituary is just a list of names and dates, though! Great obituaries are also personal and give an idea of the deceased’s personality, hobbies, and passions.

Now you know the difference between an obituary and a eulogy! While the two are very different, both share a common goal: to honor someone who has died. If you are creating an obituary or eulogy for someone you love, personalize what you write and share the legacy left behind by your loved one.

Jul 22
Love0

How to Personalize the Location of a Funeral

By Explore Options, Meaningful Funerals, Personalization, Planning Tools

The funeral is a time to truly honor and remember a loved one’s life, but how can you personalize the service to reflect that special person’s personality, preferences, interests, and uniqueness?

You can choose music uniquely suited to your loved one’s interests. You could include readings or symbols or healing actions that are meaningful and tailored to your lost loved one’s preferences. Another way you can personalize the funeral is by choosing a location for the service that fits who they were as a person. Let’s discuss the possibilities.

Casket with flowers resting on top placed in front of a room near a podium

First, Why Does Personalization Matter?

Dr. Alan Wolfelt, a nationally respected grief counselor and author, believes that personalizing the funeral is critical to honoring a loved one’s life and finding healing after loss. He says:

“I encourage you to slow down, take a deep breath and focus on what is really important—what is essential—about the funeral you are planning. What is essential is the life that was lived and the impact that life had on family and friends. To honor that unique life, the funeral must also be unique. Over and over, families tell me that the best funerals are those that are personalized.”

In a world focused on efficiency and getting things done as quickly as possible, the funeral is a moment to slow down and be thoughtful. When we do things too quickly, they can sometimes feel impersonal and hollow. That’s why personalization is key!

A personalized service beautifully and lovingly honors life. It creates a sweet moment of remembrance, a time to say goodbye, a unique acknowledgement that a person’s life mattered in all the big and small ways.

Three people standing together, wearing black and holding white lilies

How to Personalize the Location of a Funeral

Depending on what events you decide to include, you have many options for choosing a unique location. If you have a service, a visitation, and a gathering, you could choose separate places for each. For example, the visitation could take place at the funeral home, the service at your local church, and the gathering at your loved one’s Rotary Club, favorite restaurant, or wherever you wish.

The point of choosing a specific location is to add an extra element of meaningful personalization to the funeral, so it really feels like the best way to honor your loved one’s life.

Here are a few ideas for choosing a personalized location:

1. Choose a convenient place

Sometimes, the easiest and best option is to have the funeral or memorial service at the funeral home itself. Many funeral homes offer beautiful facilities and will let you decorate the room to reflect your loved one’s life. You could include photos, mementoes, cherished possessions, flowers, balloons, whatever seems to appropriately reflect your loved one’s hobbies and interests.

Alternatively, you could choose to host the service in your own or the deceased’s home. While this option is not as popular, it could be convenient for your family and would allow you to have the service in a comfortable environment.

2. Choose a place of worship

For those who are religious, having the service at a place of worship may be the best location for your loved one. Your funeral director will help you coordinate with a local church, synagogue, mosque, or other place of worship. And if it’s allowed, you could also add special touches to that location that will reflect your loved one’s unique life.

A white church-like building that could be used for a funeral service

3. Choose a place related to their interests

Another option is to select a place that has special meaning to your loved one. If they coached little league, perhaps you could hold part of the ceremony at the local baseball diamond. If they were part of a gardening club, you might be able to host the ceremony at the rose garden. For those who loved the beach, ask friends and family to come to a memorial service at sunset. Again, chat with your funeral director about the options. The funeral home staff will do everything they legally can to make your wishes become reality.

4. Choose a place related to their professional career

For those deeply dedicated to their career or field of study, you could select a location that is significant to their achievements. For example, you could choose to bury a veteran in a national cemetery and have the service there. Or for a mariner, you could opt for a service and burial at sea. For those dedicated to teaching or the medical field, you could possibly hold a ceremony at their university, school, or hospital. While some professional spaces will be off-limits, you never know unless you ask.

No matter what you choose for the location of a funeral, make sure that you add other meaningful touches to the event. These special touches combined will make the service even more touching and healing.

Young woman wearing black, crying as she stands in front of a black cremation urn

Additional Personalization Resources

If you’d like more information about how to personalize the funeral, give these resources a quick read:

Jul 17
Love0
Rolls of fabric

Mourning Colors From Around the World

By Educational, History of Funerals

In the United States, black is the color most people commonly associate with grief and mourning. However, that’s not true for all cultures. The color of mourning is often deeply rooted in the history and beliefs of a nation and its people, so let’s see which colors represent mourning around the world.

Black

Black silk fabric

In addition to the United States, black is the color of mourning in most Western nations as well as some other nations. Wearing black is a symbol of sadness, loss, and death. Writings from Ancient Rome reveal that the tradition of donning black after a death was common even in that day.

And while the color black never went out of use, it became particularly popular during the reign of Queen Victoria. Following the death of her husband, Prince Albert, the Queen spent the next 40 years of her life mourning his death. She commonly wore black or other dark colors to symbolize her deep sense of loss. Her example went on to influence many other nations in Europe and North America, leading to a stronger connection to black as a color of mourning.

Like many Western nations, black is also a common mourning color in Japan, Brazil, and Thailand, to name a few. It’s also quite common to see black worn at Jewish funerals.

White

White satin fabric

Another very common funeral color around the world is white, particularly in Asia (China, Cambodia, India, etc.) where the people strongly associate with Buddhism or Hinduism.

Universally, white symbolizes purity, innocence, and rebirth. In Buddhism, white is also representative of reincarnation and the circle of life. Similarly, in Hinduism, white is a symbol of light, goodness, spiritual rebirth, and a new beginning. As these religions base many of their core tenets on the life that comes after death, it’s easy to understand why white – as a symbol of rebirth and new beginnings – would be so important at the funerals of loved ones.

There are also examples of white used for mourning in other parts of the world. For example, in 15th and 16th century France and England, bereaved children and unmarried women often dressed in white instead of black. Also, in indigenous Australia, it’s common practice to wear white body paint to show remorse for the loss of a loved one.

Red

Red cotton fabric

One of the least-used mourning colors, red is nonetheless prevalent in a few countries around the world. In South Africa, mourners wear red, though the origins of the practice are heartbreaking. The color represents the apartheid era and the blood that was shed during those years.

Red is also used in Ghana, but there is a condition. Red (often paired with black) is only worn by the deceased’s immediate family; black or white is worn by all other mourners.

On the other hand, never wear red to a funeral in China. Because of its strong association with happiness, cultural tradition forbids the use of red at Chinese funerals.

Purple

Purple silk fabric

Long connected to spirituality and royalty, purple is used during Easter celebrations to represent the pain and suffering of Christ’s crucifixion. For this reason, many Catholics in Brazil, Guatemala, and other Central or South American countries pair purple with black during times of grief.

In Thailand, purple represents sorrow. The color is worn exclusively by widows following the death of a husband; all other mourners wear black.

What if I Don’t Know What Color to Wear to a Funeral?

As you can see, the culture you live in, and in some cases, the religion you follow can have an impact on the mourning colors that are acceptable and expected. And in some countries, there’s a mix of colors, though black and white are the most common threads.

Rolls of fabric

If you aren’t sure what to wear to a funeral, the best thing to do is ask for guidance. You can reach out to the family, a close friend, or even the funeral director. For example, if you haven’t been to a Jewish funeral, contact someone to learn what clothing would be respectful.

In general, it’s good etiquette to avoid bright colors like orange, yellow, green, and blue. Unless you are attending a funeral where red is appropriate, generally avoid it, too.

Did any of these colors surprise you? It’s fascinating to see how mourning colors develop and understand the role they play in helping us mourn the loss of those we love.

Jul 16
Love0

Top 10 Songs for a Funeral Ceremony

By Meaningful Funerals, Music

Music can be a powerful component of the funeral ceremony because it allows us to process our feelings in a very special way. Grief counselor and educator Dr. Alan Wolfelt says that music imprints itself on the heart more than any other experience in life. Music can help us express our emotions in unique ways that words cannot.

As you select songs for your loved one’s funeral service, think about songs that were meaningful to them; almost any song that your loved one enjoyed could be used in their service. If you’re unsure where to start, though, here are 10 great songs you can incorporate into your loved one’s funeral or memorial service.

Fire and Rain (James Taylor)

Won’t you look down upon me, Jesus
You’ve got to help me make a stand
You’ve just got to see me through another day

This enormously popular early ’70s hit, written and passionately sung by the great James Taylor, contains many themes that apply to a funeral audience: the loss of a friend, praying for help from a higher power, and attempts to stand firm during times of “fire and rain.” The peaceful and sweet melody balances the honest and vulnerable lyrics, capturing both the complexity of the grieving process and the various emotions people experience in the aftermath of loss.

Stand by Me (Ben E. King)

Oh, I won’t be afraid
Just as long as you stand
Stand by me

This classic pop song is simple and direct, but that doesn’t mean it lacks depth or heart. An instantly recognizable anthem of love and perseverance, the song strikes just the right note for a funeral, conveying hope amid painful circumstances. When we go through difficult times, we all need someone to stand by and support us, and this song beautifully encapsulates that need. It’s been covered many times by a number of talented artists, but the original is preferable for its familiarity and for King’s raw energy.

You Raise Me Up (Westlife)

I am strong
When I am on your shoulders
You raise me up
To more than I can be

While several bands have covered “You Raise Me Up,” Westlife’s version is one of the most popular. With lyrics that remind us that we are stronger because of the people we surround ourselves with, this song would be a beautiful tribute to a parent or mentor who was always there to support those around them. Additionally, for those who are religious, “You Raise Me Up” can be seen as a reminder that during times of grief, we can turn to God for support.

You’re My Best Friend (Don Williams)

You placed gold on my finger
You brought love like I’ve never known
You gave life to our children
And to me a reason to go on

This song’s simple, straightforward lyrics beautifully capture the love between a married couple. Don Williams delivers some of the most heartfelt and heartbreaking lines ever recorded as a tribute to the person who is his “anchor in life’s oceans.” Losing someone you love, lean on, and find comfort in is one of the hardest things you can go through, and this song can serve as a heartfelt tribute to honor the memory of a spouse or long-time partner.

We’ll Meet Again (Vera Lynn)

We’ll meet again
Don’t know where
Don’t know when
But I know we’ll meet again some sunny day

Vera Lynn’s 1939 classic has undeniably been a favorite choice for funeral services for many years. Written on the eve of the Second World War, it captured the sentiments of many families who had to say goodbye as their loved ones left for battle. But this British tune has taken on a deeper meaning as families have used it in funerals for their loved ones. Vera Lynn’s piercing voice conveys hope in the face of loss in a way that carries universal appeal, and many people have used it to say goodbye to someone they love.

Into the West (Annie Lennox)

Across the sea
A pale moon rises
The ships have come to carry you home

While it was composed for the end credits of the 2003 film The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, respect for this song extends far beyond Tolkien fans. The universal appeal of the lyrics and Lennox’s breathtaking vocal performance make it a great choice for a funeral service. The nature-driven imagery highlights both the pain of loss and the hope of a peaceful rest for a loved one. Lennox’s faith-driven assurance that “you and I will meet again” makes this a particularly good choice for religious ceremonies.

Tears in Heaven (Eric Clapton)

Beyond the door
There’s peace I’m sure
And I know there’ll be no more
Tears in heaven

Written after the loss of his 4-year-old son, “Tears in Heaven” is a moving piece about Clapton’s grief journey. The gorgeous melody, masterful acoustic guitar work, and heartfelt lyrics are perfect for honoring the life of a loved one. Over the past 25 years, the song has sprung up in many funerals, and its popularity isn’t surprising. “Tears in Heaven” portrays a bold and honest struggle with grief, while the profoundly personal nature of the song resonates with many families who have lost loved ones.

Landslide (Fleetwood Mac)

Well, I’ve been afraid of changin’
Cause I’ve built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I’m getting older too

Once they released their self-titled 1975 album, Fleetwood Mac exploded into the mainstream. The album features many of the band’s most popular songs, but Landslide, a heartfelt exploration of loss and change, packs the greatest emotional wallop. A great choice to honor the memory of a parent or close loved one, this gentle pop song has been a favorite at memorial services for many years.

See You Again (Wiz Khalifa ft. Charlie Puth)

So let the light guide your way, yeah
Hold every memory as you go
And every road you take
Will always lead you home

The most recent song on this list, See You Again, was written and recorded for Furious 7 (2015) as a goodbye to Paul Walker, one of the main actors who died suddenly during the movie’s production. Charlie Puth’s heartfelt vocals and Wiz Khalifa’s nostalgic rap work together to create a song filled with both the grief of loss and gratitude for the happy memories together. In recent years, this song has struck a chord with many grieving families and captured the hope of a time when we’ll be reunited with the loved ones we’ve lost.

My Way (Frank Sinatra)

I’ve lived a life that’s full
I’ve traveled each and every highway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way

Sinatra’s anthem is undeniably one of the most popular funeral songs, and it’s easy to see why. This classic song celebrates a life well lived and is a testament to the power of the individual and the impact that they can have on the world. In addition, the beautiful lyrics and Sinatra’s powerful voice work together to create a bold, heartfelt sound. A fitting tribute to a loved one who embraced life to the fullest and faced “the final curtain” with dignity, “My Way” is still a timeless song to honor a loved one.

For more suggestions on songs to include at a funeral service, check out the resources below:

By decade:

Jul 11
Love0
Woman in black clothing holding a white rose; funeral and gathering

How to Personalize the Gathering at a Funeral

By Explore Options, Meaningful Funerals

The funeral is a time to truly honor and remember a loved one’s life, but how can you personalize the service to reflect that special person’s personality, preferences, interests, and uniqueness? According to Dr. Alan Wolfelt, nationally respected grief counselor and author, there are 7 distinct elements to a funeral, and each one can be personalized. Today, let’s talk about how you can use the gathering to personalize a loved one’s final tribute and create funeral events that are truly special and meaningful.

Woman in black clothing holding a white rose; funeral and gathering

First, Why Does Personalization Matter?

“I encourage you to slow down, take a deep breath and focus on what is really important—what is essential—about the funeral you are planning. What is essential is the life that was lived and the impact that life had on family and friends. To honor that unique life, the funeral must also be unique. Over and over, families tell me that the best funerals are those that are personalized.”  – Dr. Alan Wolfelt

In a world focused on efficiency and getting things done as quickly as possible, the funeral is a moment to slow down and be thoughtful. When we do things too quickly, they can sometimes feel impersonal and hollow. That’s why personalization is key!

A personalized service beautifully and lovingly honors life. It creates a sweet moment of remembrance, a time to say goodbye, a unique acknowledgement that a person’s life mattered in all the big and small ways. Now, let’s talk about the gathering and how including it after the funeral or memorial service can add beautiful options for creating meaningful moments.

Man putting comforting hand on shoulder of a mourner at a funeral or gathering

How to Personalize the Gathering at a Funeral

The gathering is an opportunity for friends and family to come together after the funeral service to share stories and to support each other. It’s also the perfect time for personalization! The point of a gathering is to bring people together directly following the service to share stories, remember a loved one, and connect (or reconnect) with people. During times of grief, it’s essential to take time to support each other and swap stories about the beloved person who has died.

1. Choose a meaningful or convenient venue

When choosing the location of a gathering, you have many available options. You could have the gathering at your home, the deceased’s favorite restaurant, park, beach, or wherever you choose. Alternatively, if you’d prefer to keep things simple, many funeral homes offer event centers or gathering spaces that you can decorate to reflect your loved one’s life. This way, there’s no need for anyone to travel anywhere to attend the gathering. If you aren’t sure what to do or have questions, speak with your funeral director. They can help you understand your options.

2. Serve your loved one’s favorite foods

Most of the time, the gathering includes eating good food, seeing good people, and sharing good memories. To make the gathering more personalized, consider serving your loved one’s favorite foods.

That may mean catering from a local restaurant or asking everyone to bring a potluck dish. It could mean serving key lime pie with Pepsi on the side. Perhaps you should include a selection of beef jerky or a potato bar. Maybe your loved one was passionate about bread, so you could order pastries galore from the local bakery.

You know your loved one best – what foods brought them joy? Consider including those at the gathering in their memory.

Woman holding out a forkful of key lime pie at a gathering

3. Showcase memories from your loved one’s life

Depending on the venue you choose, you could have a lot of room for creativity. To add special, meaningful touches to the gathering, bring photographs and display them. Perhaps bring a few cherished possessions or mementoes. You could decorate the tables with centerpieces of your loved one’s favorite color, sports team, hobby, or whatever seems best.

The main point? Add elements to the gathering that reflect who your loved one was as a person. Without making it complicated, think about little touches that will make people think, “This would make Joe happy” or “Goodness, Maggie would just smile if she could see this” (insert your loved one’s name).

4. Give guests the opportunity to express their feelings

You can give guests the opportunity to express themselves in many ways. At the funeral service, you may have asked only a few people to give a eulogy, but at the gathering, you could open the floor to others to briefly share memories or sentiments about the person who has died. Alternatively, you could include note cards for people to write down memories. You could give away a remembrance token, like a printed photo of the person who has died or a postcard from their personal collection. There are a variety of options – the only limit is your imagination.

Man holding a microphone as he prepares to speak at a gathering

Questions to Help You Brainstorm

If personalization ideas aren’t already coming to mind, here are a few questions to help you brainstorm different ways you could customize the gathering.

  • Did your loved one have any hobbies or interests you could incorporate?
  • Is there a particular item or animal they loved?
  • Was there a book, movie, play, charity, etc., that they particularly enjoyed?
  • Do you want to give guests the opportunity to publicly share memories?
  • Is there a meaningful place or just somewhere that brought your loved one joy? And could you host the gathering there?

Hopefully, these questions will trigger some ideas for you and give you a good starting place for finding ways to add meaningful touches to the gathering. And if you are stumped, your funeral director can help. They are your advocate and guide throughout the funeral planning process. They can provide much-needed assistance when you just aren’t sure what to do next.

For more assistance with personalizing the funeral service or the gathering, check out these resources:

Jul 11
Love0
Man and woman sitting in a secluded space with a telescope, looking at the night sky

Naming a Star in a Loved One’s Memory

By Educational, Grief/Loss, Memorial

There are so many beautiful ways to honor a loved one’s life. Etching their name in the night sky may be one option you’ve never considered. Perfect for an astronomer, sci-fi nerd, or general space enthusiast, it’s possible to name a star after your loved one and keep their memory alive in the night sky for generations to come.

There are several companies that offer star registration, but we aren’t going to talk about all of them. Instead, we will focus on three big ones to give you an idea of what types of services are available.

Milky Way galaxy in the night sky

International Star Registry (ISR)

One of the first companies to offer star registration, ISR has been helping families honor and memorialize loved ones since 1979. They offer a variety of packages for every budget, starting at around $30 and going up to around $200 (prices subject to change). Each package offers the ability to choose your preferred constellation and receive an authentic Star Registry certificate (with additional add-ons depending on the package you select).

Additionally, every star registration is included in the world’s only published catalog of named stars, which is registered with the US Copyright Office and the Library of Congress. The catalog includes coordinates for every star registered.

To learn more about ISR and its mission to help families honor and remember loved ones through the naming of a star, click here to visit their website.

Man looking up at the darkening sky with telescope beside him

Star Name Registry

With its “Find My Star” app, Star Name Registry gives you the ability to view your star at any time of day or night using your smartphone. They also offer a variety of packages, starting at around $30 and going up to roughly $120 (prices subject to change). Every package comes with a star certificate, welcome letter, star info pack, and app entry. The “star info pack” includes a sky atlas, star location guide, constellation booklet, universe booklet, and an explanation of your star.

The company guarantees your registered star, but if you have concerns, they do offer a 30-day money back guarantee. To learn more about Star Name Registry, click here to visit their website.

Man and woman sitting in a secluded space with a telescope, looking at the night sky

Global Star Registry

Based in Sweden, Global Star Registry is available in multiple languages, including English, German, Spanish, amongst others. Similar to ISR (see above), all stars registered through Global Star Registry are recorded with the US Copyright Office.

Packages start around $30 and go up to $94 (prices subject to change). However, if you elect for any of the packages above $30, you will also receive a gift pack. (Other add-ons may also be listed.) The gift pack includes a star certificate, an engraved pendant or keychain, and a sky map.

To read reviews or check out the package options, click here to visit their website.

Stars in the night sky

Are There Other Star Registration Services Out There?

Absolutely! You aren’t limited to these three services if they don’t appeal to you. You could check out Online Star Register, Name a Star, or Starify, for example.

As you research which star registration service to use, here are some important things to consider:

  • Does the company offer a package that suits your budget?
  • Do the add-ons appeal to you?
  • Is your star registered with the US Copyright Office (if that’s important to you)?
  • Do they offer returns or a money-back guarantee if you should change your mind?
  • Is the company transparent and clear on what you will receive?
  • Does the company offer clear ways to reach out for customer support?

Young girl looking up at the night sky, looking for a registered star

A Quick Note on Star Registration

Naming a star in memory of a loved one is a beautiful way to keep their memory alive. It will blaze in the night sky forever. However, it’s important to note that no one legally owns outer space. Any naming of stars is for sentimental purposes only. Your star registration exists on paper and does not affect the star’s official name with the International Astronomical Union (IAU). The IAU officially tracks the scientific names of all stars and celestial bodies.

If you decide that naming a star in your loved one’s honor is a meaningful way to remember them, may you find comfort, peace, and joy each time you see them shining brightly on the darkest nights.

*DISCLAIMER: We do not endorse any of these companies; we are merely stating the options available to you when honoring a loved one by naming a star. 

Jul 10
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Focus on man's hands as he holds a smartphone

How Technology is Changing the Funeral Industry

By Educational, Planning Tools

You may not usually associate funeral homes and technology with each other, but that’s changing! In recent years, funeral homes have been working hard to add new and updated technology to their offerings. As technology becomes more and more prevalent in every aspect of our daily lives, it’s essential that the funeral industry keep up and change with it. By taking the best of the classical funeral experience and fusing it with the latest technological innovations, funeral homes can help families craft even more meaningful ceremonies to honor their loved ones.

But what are some technological updates you may find at a funeral home?

Woman sitting on couch and looking at photo library on her laptop; creating a memorial tribute video with technology

Slideshows and Memorial Tribute Videos

Previously, physical photographs of the deceased were displayed near the casket, but now, it’s very common to see a slideshow or a memorial tribute video at a funeral. Video and music capabilities have increased the level of personalization in the average funeral. Clips of the deceased or favorite songs are played to capture the spirit of a loved one. These developments illustrate technology’s potential to enrich a ceremony and aid in the grieving process.

However, you can still place physical photos and mementoes at the service to add meaningful touches to the funeral’s personalization. The slideshow or memorial tribute video doesn’t have to replace physical photos – but the video can enhance your ability to tell your loved one’s story by allowing you to share more photos in chronological order.

Woman in black blazer sitting on couch and watching livestream on laptop; using technology

Livestreaming the Service

Another innovation is the ability to livestream a funeral or memorial service. While it’s always best to participate in person when possible, livestreaming can be very useful in some circumstances because it allows people with mobility issues or who live in distant places to connect.

For example, if a family member or friend is overseas and unable to attend the service, sharing a livestream link would allow them to participate from a distance. And with more families spread out across the United States, livestreaming has become a much more common practice in funerals today.

Mature man standing in kitchen with mug in one hand and using the other hand to click on laptop

Up-to-Date Websites

With advances in website design and easier accessibility, many funeral homes have made the leap into up-to-date, easy-to-navigate websites. These websites often contain obituaries, grief resources, aftercare information, and online forms for prearranging funerals. Sometimes, you can even use the funeral home website to send flowers to those who are grieving.

Take a couple of minutes to visit your local funeral home’s website to see what services they offer and what resources they provide. You may be surprised at the variety of information available.

Person on laptop at home, making a social media post and receiving likes and comments

Social Media Presence

Social media has really changed the game for honoring and remembering loved ones. Not only can families access a loved one’s account to post a meaningful final tribute post, but their extended family and friends can comment to show how much that special person touched their lives.

On top of that, many funeral homes now also have Facebook or Instagram accounts where they post obituaries, local events, funeral education information, and much more. If you follow a funeral home’s social media accounts, you can also learn about various topics related to funerals, from preplanning resources to special promotions and events they’re hosting.

Man and wife sitting at home, talking as they look at a laptop; using technology to plan ahead for funeral

Online Funeral Planning

With advances in technology, many funeral homes are now able to offer families an online experience. Because we are used to doing most things online, this service facilitates more efficient communication between families and funeral directors. Rather than having a paper file with your name on it, there’s a complete digital file where everything is recorded.

Additionally, some funeral homes now offer the option to purchase funeral packages online. In this way, if you’d prefer, you can take care of everything online from the comfort of home. Of course, funeral home staff are ready and willing to answer any questions you may have. They are often open to house calls, if that’s easier for you.

Person using technology to pay online with a credit card

Online Payments

In addition to being able to plan the funeral online, many funeral homes now offer the option to pay online, as well. Using an accepted form of currency (ex: credit or debit card), you can easily pay online as seamlessly as you would on any internet site.

Please note: paying online is not available at all funeral homes. Please ask your preferred funeral home what their payments options are and whether you can pay online.

Mature woman sitting at home with a laptop in front of her, using an AI writer to assist her; using technology

AI Writer Assistance

We’ve all seen AI coming into greater use recently. Some aren’t too thrilled about it, while others are fully embracing AI and its capabilities. For the funeral profession, perhaps the biggest impact AI has had is in writing obituaries. For the family who doesn’t feel comfortable with their writing skills or just wants a quick double-check, AI writing applications can help. Some funeral homes may offer the services of a staff member, and if so, go for it! Otherwise, you could explore whether using AI would be useful to you and your family.

Focus on man's hands as he holds a smartphone

Continuing Innovation

Exciting advances are regularly being made in the technological world. And as funeral homes adopt these advances, they can better serve their clients. It’s exciting to see how future technology will enhance our ability to honor and remember loved ones.

To learn what technology is available in your area, give your local, trusted funeral home a call. The knowledgeable staff will be happy to discuss how technology can assist you in creating a meaningful ceremony.

Jul 10
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person's hand pressing the hazard light button in a car

Everything You Need to Know About Funeral Procession Etiquette

By Educational

Funeral processions have long been a part of the funeral tradition, beginning before there were even cars. While this practice has changed throughout the years, it remains an important step in the grieving process for many families. As a ritual, the funeral procession allows families to mourn together and honor their loved one.

But many drivers don’t know what to do when they encounter a funeral procession or become a part of one for a friend or family member. If you’re part of a procession, do you stop at red lights and stop signs? If you come across a procession while driving, do you pull over? Or can you pass the slower cars?

Here’s what you need to know about funeral procession etiquette:

If You’re in a Funeral Procession

Drive slowly

car driving with brake lights lit up

Out of respect and to ensure the group stays together, most funeral processions drive below the speed limit. On most side or back roads, you’ll travel around 30 mph. If you go on a highway, you typically won’t go over 50-55 mph.

Follow closely

Leave stopping space between you and the car in front of you, but not much more! Drive closely behind the person in front of you to prevent those who aren’t part of the procession from cutting in.

Stay with the procession

Don’t leave the procession or take a different turn. The people behind you may not know where to go. Additionally, before leaving, check with the funeral home or procession leader to find out if you should go through red lights and stop signs. Some states allow this. If a police officer is directing traffic, follow their guidance.

Turn on your headlights or hazards

person's hand pressing the hazard light button in a car

Traditionally, cars in a funeral procession turn on their headlights to show others that they are part of the procession. You can also turn on your hazards if you wish or if the family requests it, but these are only necessary for the lead and caboose cars.

Keep noise to a minimum

Out of respect for the other mourners and the deceased, don’t play loud music while driving. If you wish to listen to music, keep the volume low and make sure your windows are rolled up. Also, it’s best to stay off your phone and avoid honking or revving your engine as you drive.

If You Encounter a Funeral Procession

Avoid passing

sign by a road on an orange cone that says funeral with an arrow pointing to the left

If you encounter a slow-moving funeral procession, do not pass it. In some areas, pulling over to the side of the road may be required, much like for an emergency vehicle. If you are on a highway with multiple lanes, you can pass the procession, but please do so with caution and respect and only pass on the left side.

Don’t cut into the procession

Cutting into a funeral procession is disrespectful and, in some states, illegal. Don’t try to join the procession or cut in to take a turn or exit. People in the procession may not know where to go, and you may cause confusion or an accident.

Yield the right of way

yield sign

Laws about funeral processions and right of way vary from state to state, but it’s always a good idea to yield the right of way to a procession when you can. If a funeral procession passes through an intersection and your light turns green, wait until the procession passes before continuing.

Keep noise to a minimum

To show respect to the procession, turn down any loud music. Never honk at the cars in a procession, and don’t rev your engine, especially if you’re passing them.

Watch for the end car

Typically, the car at the end of a procession will have extra flashing lights or flags to signal the end of the procession. Some processions may have a police escort with them. Once the final car has passed, you can drive as normal.

Whether you’re part of a procession or simply a bystander, the most important thing to remember is to show respect to the deceased and the mourners. By showing kindness and respect to those in a funeral procession, you can make a hard day a little easier.

Jul 02
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Person sitting at desk in front of a laptop, doing a Google search

Digital Estate Planning: Understanding Google’s Inactive Account Manager

By Educational, Estate Planning

With the introduction of the internet, estate planning became a smidge more complicated than it used to be. Why? Because now we must take our digital (online) estate into account when creating an estate plan. However, there are ways to keep it simple! Today, let’s talk about Google accounts, the Inactive Account Manager, and how you can set up your Google accounts to be accessible when the unexpected happens.

Person sitting at desk in front of a laptop, doing a Google search

What is the Inactive Account Manager?

The Inactive Account Manager allows you to give someone else access to your Google accounts if you become inactive. Generally speaking, if a Google account isn’t used for two years, then Google considers it inactive. At that time, Google will begin emailing you, and if there’s no response after a period of time, they will automatically delete your accounts.

However, if you set up “Trusted Contact(s)” (up to 10 people) through the Inactive Account Manager, they will get emails about your inactive account, have access to it, and can save any files, photos, videos, etc. that would otherwise be lost. During the set-up process, you will set permissions on what type of information each Trusted Contact can access.

What qualifies as a Google account?

Google is a big company, responsible for many types of accounts you may be familiar with. For example, do you have a Gmail email address? Do you have a YouTube account? Google Photos? Google Drive? There’s also Google Meet, Google Maps, or the Google Play Store. And this isn’t even the full list. So, if you use Google products, anything you have saved could be deleted should you become inactive.

Man at home at his desk working on the computer, hand on mouse

What does Google consider “inactivity”?

There are many actions you can take to let Google know that you are still alive and active. These include:

  • Reading or sending an email
  • Using Google Drive
  • Downloading an app
  • Sharing a photo or downloading from Google Photos
  • Watching a YouTube video
  • Searching on Google
  • Signing in to a Google account

As long as you complete an action like one of these, Google will consider you active. And your activity is tracked by account – not device. So, if you are active on your laptop one day and your phone the next, as long as both are signed into your Google account, it will be recorded as activity.

However, if you have more than one Google account, you’ll need to be active in each one individually to avoid inactivity alerts.

What if I’m inactive but not deceased?

Before emailing your Trusted Contact, Google will first attempt to contact you several times. If you are still alive and well, you can access your accounts to create some activity. Doing so will prevent any emails from being sent to your Trusted Contact(s). However, if there’s no response from you, Google will email your Trusted Contact(s).

Man and wife at kitchen table with laptop in front of them

What type of notification will my Trusted Contact(s) receive?

When you set up your Inactive Account Manager, you will be asked when you want Trusted Contact(s) to be notified. Google defaults to two years of inactivity, but you can choose a shorter time period, if you wish.

When that time period passes, your Trusted Contact(s) will receive an email notification. This email will contain a Subject Line and personal message written by you (during the set-up phase) as well as a footer explaining that Google is sending the email on your behalf. The email will also include a list of data that the Trusted Contact has access to view.

When your Trusted Contact(s) logs into your account, their identity will be verified before they are given access. And of course, let whomever you choose know that you have selected them as your Trusted Contact(s). This way, the email won’t be confusing to them or feel out of the blue.

Mature woman in blue shirt sitting on couch, working on laptop and writing down notes

What happens if I don’t set up an Inactive Account Manager?

First, Google will attempt to reach you by sending multiple emails to your Gmail address and to any recovery email you added when the account was created. If there’s no response from you, your Google accounts will be deleted, and any files will be lost. If that’s your preference, then there’s no need to set up an Inactive Account Manager.

However, if you’d like your family to have time to download any files, photos, or videos before they are deleted, then you might consider setting up an Inactive Account Manager. Or, on the flip side, if your family would like access to your files (even if you don’t care), it can be a big hassle for them to try to request access after your death. By being proactive about giving them access, you save a lot of time and headaches.

Why does Google delete old accounts?

It’s mostly for security reasons. Older accounts are more likely to become compromised, making them susceptible to spam or malicious intent. To prevent misuse, Google monitors activity and deletes inactive accounts.

Man in button-down shirt holding a tablet, focus on tablet

How do I set up an Inactive Account Manager?

When you create a Google account, the Inactive Account Manager function is dormant. You must set it up manually. This way you have control over who accesses your data if you become incapacitated or pass away.

To set up your Google Inactive Account Manager, get on one of your electronic devices (phone, tablet, laptop) and click https://myaccount.google.com/inactive. Google will prompt you to sign in (if you aren’t already) and will walk you through the set-up process.

During the set-up process, you can expect to:

  • Choose an inactive period (instead of Google’s default of two years, you can choose a shorter timeframe to be contacted about inactivity)
  • Add relevant details, like your phone number, email address, and recovery email address
  • Add the name, email address, and phone number of your Trusted Contacts (up to 10 people; they do not have to have a Google email address)
  • Select which services each Trusted Contact has access to (you control what they can see)
  • Write out your custom auto-reply message (your Trusted Contacts will receive this message if your account becomes inactive)
  • Review and confirm your preferences

In the future, if you decide you’d no longer like to use the Inactive Account Manager and would prefer that Google just delete your account, you can go to the Inactive Account Manager page again and select “Turn off my plan” under the “Manage your plan” section. There’s also an “Edit” section if you want to update your auto-reply email or change your Trusted Contacts.

Person sitting at table at home with laptop and cup of coffee

I’ve set up my Inactive Account Manager – what’s next?

Now, as with any part of your estate plan, it’s time to write down what you’ve done and update things when needed. Circumstances and relationships are constantly changing, so whether it’s your legal will, your beneficiaries, or your Inactive Account Manager, visit your selections every few years to make sure you still agree with your previous choices.

Additional Estate Planning Resources

In addition to looking after your Google accounts, you most likely have other online accounts that should be considered when setting up an estate plan. To help you through the process, here are a few additional resources you may find beneficial.

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