Planning Tools Archives - Funeral Basics

Mar 10

11 Meaningful Ways to Honor Your Loved One’s Ashes

By christy.kessler Cremation, Memorial, Plan Ahead, Planning Tools

Have you considered how to honor a loved one’s ashes after their passing? In today’s world, there are so many options available, and you’re sure to find one that perfectly matches your loved one’s preferences and personality. To help you get started with choosing the best option, let’s discuss 11 meaningful ways that you can honor a loved one’s cremated remains. With the information gained, you can thoughtfully decide what’s best for your family’s specific needs.

1. Burial

Did you know that you can bury an urn? Just like a casket, you can hold a graveside service and bury an urn in a cemetery of your choosing. Additionally, many cemeteries allow you to bury an urn alongside a casket, in case two loved ones had differing burial preferences. If you wish, you can also look for a cemetery with an urn garden, where there’s a dedicated and landscaped area for urn fountains and benches.

2. Columbarium

An above-ground structure, the columbarium exclusively houses cremated remains. The columbarium is filled with niches (wall spaces) where urns are placed and interred. A bronze plaque with an epitaph will be placed on the exterior of the niche to mark a loved one’s final resting place. This is perhaps the most familiar option for cremation, aside from scattering.

3. Scattering

Scattering is the act of taking a loved one’s ashes to meaningful places and scattering them. This could be by the ocean, in the mountains, at a special place, or near home. Alternatively, you could opt for a scattering garden, which is a designated space often attached to a cemetery. Regardless of where you choose to scatter your loved one’s ashes, always review local laws and regulations first.

4. Keep the Ashes at Home

More people are starting to keep the cremated remains of a loved one at home. This option is definitely viable, but make sure you indicate in your will what to do with the ashes after your passing. Whoever handles your estate may not know about your loved one’s urn and could dispose of it unknowingly. So, if you do keep a loved one’s ashes in your home, make sure you communicate a plan for their care after you are gone.

5. Memorial Jewelry

Another popular option is to place a small amount of a loved one’s ashes in memorial jewelry. The jewelry design often includes a small interior space (like a locket) where the ashes are placed. You can choose from various styles, metals, and types (e.g. necklaces, rings, pendants, etc.). Selecting this option allows you to take a small part of your loved one with you, no matter where you go.

6. Under the Sea

For a loved one who adored the ocean, there are now options available at sea. For example, you can place an urn in an underwater mausoleum. Or you can create an artificial coral reef with a loved one’s ashes that will assist in the repair and conservation of natural coral reefs. As a memorial to your loved one, consider affixing a plaque to the artificial reef. Also, in many cases, it’s possible to be present as the reef is placed in the ocean.

7. Plant the Ashes

With the proper treatment, it is now possible to plant a memorial tree with a loved one’s ashes. With this option, you will place a special, biodegradable urn in the ground. The top section of the urn contains seeds and soil, while the bottom holds the treated ashes (making them safe for plants). Once the roots grow deep enough, they will mingle with the ashes. Speak with a trusted funeral director to learn more about this option.

8. Launch into Space

Interestingly enough, you can send a person’s ashes into space. If your loved one adored space and all its mysteries or was always looking for the next big adventure, you might consider this option. Of course, there will be regulations and stipulations to follow, but it is an option available to you.

9. Stained Glass or Hand-Blown Glass Keepsakes

Another possibility is to have the ashes of a loved one infused with glass to create beautiful pendants, paperweights, orbs, hourglasses, and other glassware. During the creation process, layers of hot glass encase the ashes. The process fuses the two (glass and ashes) together permanently. As with memorial jewelry, this option requires only a small portion of the ashes.

10. Press into a Diamond

A growing trend is to forge a loved one’s ashes into diamonds, which are made of crystallized carbon. This is possible because the second most abundant element in the human body is carbon. After the diamond-making process is complete, the family can design memorial jewelry or other items of significance to remember someone loved.

11. Memorial Stones

With memorial stones, the cremated remains are compressed into a collection of 40-80+ stones. Each stone possesses its own unique color, texture, and shape. To create the stones, the ashes are mixed with a clay-like material, shaped into stones, and then fired in a kiln. The finished stones can be placed in a garden, given to individual family members, taken to mountain peaks, or whatever else would be meaningful for your family.

As you can see, there are many ways to honor the cremated body of someone dearly loved. The most important thing is to determine which will be the most meaningful for you and your family. And keep in mind that these are only some of the options. There may be something else out there just right for you!

Dec 31

Love0

Root system of moss-covered tree in a forest

An FAQ Guide to Natural Organic Reduction

By christy.kessler Educational, Explore Options, Planning Tools

Have you ever heard of natural organic reduction? If you haven’t, don’t worry! Today, we’re going to discuss some frequently asked questions about this new service option, so that you can be informed when making end-of-life decisions. Let’s get started!

What is natural organic reduction?

Natural organic reduction is the process of transforming human remains into nutrient-rich soil through controlled natural decomposition. Washington State was the first to legalize natural organic reduction, and other states have followed suit since then. Both gentle and sustainable, natural organic reduction is considered a “green” funeral option and has become an eco-friendly alternative to classic burial and cremation.

Does natural organic reduction go by any other names?

Yes, you may come across several names as you research this service option. In addition to natural organic reduction, you may find it called human composting, soil transformation, recomposting, recomposition, and terramation.

How does the natural organic reduction process work?

Typically, the process occurs in phases and can take 8 to 12 weeks to complete. The body is laid in a specially designed vessel and surrounded by wood chips, alfalfa, and straw. Over the next several weeks, microbes created by these natural materials will accelerate the decomposition process and break down the body, resulting in nutrient-dense soil. There will then be a curing period of three to five weeks before the soil is returned to the family.

Is natural organic reduction more eco-friendly than other traditional options?

Research has found that natural organic reduction uses 87% less energy than traditional burial or cremation. Additionally, the soil created through the natural organic reduction process can nurture the ecosystem by filtering water, providing nutrients for plants, and releasing carbon in a way that is less harmful to the environment.

Can I have a funeral service with natural organic reduction?

Yes, you can have a service! There are several options, and the funeral home staff can review them with you. Most commonly, you can:

Have a service before the natural organic reduction process has begun,
Have a memorial service (no body present) at any time, or
Wait until the soil has been returned to you and host a scattering/tree planting service, memorial service, or whatever kind of gathering you prefer.

No matter what you choose, personalizing the final tribute is a meaningful way to celebrate and honor the essence of your loved one’s life and legacy.

Is there anyone who isn’t eligible for natural organic reduction?

Body size and weight do not matter, but there are a few things that will disqualify a person from being eligible for natural organic reduction.

The natural organic reduction process destroys most harmful pathogens. However, there are three rare diseases that disqualify a body: Ebola, prion diseases such as Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease, and active tuberculosis.
For patients who have received radiation seed implants, the seeds must be removed, and 30 days must pass before they are eligible for natural organic reduction.
Embalming disqualifies a body for natural organic reduction, so any bodies donated to science are ineligible. However, you can be an organ donor and still choose natural organic reduction.

What happens to bones, teeth, and implants during the process?

Bones and teeth: Because of their mineral composition, bones and teeth do not fully break down during the natural organic reduction process. However, once the soil is ready, the bones and teeth are removed and then ground into a fine powder. The bone powder (ashes) is then added back to soil and will further enrich its nutrient-density.

Implants, artificial limbs, and tooth fillings: Once the process is complete, the soil is screened for non-organics like implants, artificial limbs, and tooth fillings. When possible, these items are recycled.

Pacemakers: If a pacemaker is present, it will be removed before the natural organic reduction process begins.

How much soil does that natural organic reduction process create?

The amount of soil created really depends on the size of the person and how much plant material (wood chips, alfalfa, straw) was used during the natural organic reduction process. After choosing a service provider, you can ask how much soil their specific process creates.

What can you do with soil created by natural organic reduction?

Once the soil is returned to your family, you can use it to create a garden, plant a memorial tree, scatter it in a natural environment, or whatever else you’d prefer. You can place the soil on private property with permission from the owner. However, with public spaces or conservation areas, check local guidelines and ordinances first.

Alternatively, many service providers also partner with at least one non-profit land conservation organization. Rather than take the soil home, you can donate it to a land conservation project, and it will be used to restore forests and revitalize protected areas.

Can the soil be shipped?

Yes, shipping to most locations in the United States is available. However, due to the variety of regulations involved, international shipping is generally not available. To get specific information, speak with your chosen funeral home about shipping costs and regulations.

Can I have a grave marker if I choose natural organic reduction?

Typically, families choose to scatter or bury the soil, use it in gardening, or donate it to a conservation partner to help nourish the land. If you wish to commission a grave marker, you certainly can. However, keep in mind that there likely won’t be a traditional gravesite where you can place a grave marker. You will need to be creative with your placement or opt for a plaque or memorial stone instead.

How does the cost of natural organic reduction compare to other funeral options?

Pricing generally depends on the provider you use and the state you live in. However, many providers are actively keeping the cost comparable to burial and cremation.

Where is natural organic reduction legal?

As of February 2026, natural organic reduction is legal in 14 states: Arizona, California, Colorado, Delaware, Georgia, Maine, Maryland, Minnesota, Nevada, New Jersey, New York, Oregon, Vermont, and Washington. More states are likely to approve this final disposition option in the years to come, so speak with a trusted funeral professional if your state is not listed.

Can you preplan with natural organic reduction?

Absolutely! The only difference is that you should look for a funeral home that offers natural organic reduction as part of their service offerings. If you do that, then the funeral planning process will be seamless for you and your family.

Hopefully, you now feel more informed about natural organic reduction! If you’d like more information, reach out to a trusted local funeral home. Even if they don’t offer natural organic reduction themselves, they can point you in the right direction.

Dec 30

Love0

Casket spray of white lilies resting on top of wooden casket

7 Elements of a Healing and Meaningful Funeral

By christy.kessler Meaningful Funerals, Planning Tools

“People who take the time and make the effort to create meaningful funeral arrangements when someone loved dies often end up making new arrangements in their own lives. They remember and reconnect with what is most meaningful to them in life…strengthen bonds with family members and friends. They emerge changed, more authentic and purposeful. The best funerals remind us how we should live.” – Dr. Alan Wolfelt

Casket spray of white lilies resting on top of wooden casket

In order for a funeral service to be a healing and meaningful experience, there are 7 tried and true elements that you should consider incorporating. Dr. Wolfelt, nationally respected grief counselor and educator, tells us that these 7 elements are necessary to facilitate the 6 needs that a funeral fulfills:

Acknowledging the reality of the death
Embracing the pain of the loss
Remembering the person who died
Developing a new self-identity
Searching for meaning
Receiving ongoing support from others

And what are the 7 elements? They are music, readings, a viewing/visitation or reception, a eulogy, symbols, a gathering, and actions. If you are planning a funeral, whether because someone you love has died or you are making advance funeral plans, give thoughtful consideration to how you can implement these healing and meaningful elements. Let’s look at each one in a little more detail!

1. Music

Music sets the tone of a funeral and brings emotions to the forefront. In fact, one of the purposes of a funeral is to allow mourners to grieve together, and in many ways, music says what words cannot. So, don’t be afraid to invite people to express grief. Select music that will remind mourners of the person who has died and allow everyone to pay tribute to that special person’s life and legacy in a meaningful way.

Why Include Special Music in a Funeral Ceremony?

How to Personalize Music at a Funeral

Setting the Tone for a Service: A Collection of Funeral Songs

2. Readings

Readings add another facet to a meaningful service. They are another way to not only invite mourners to express their emotions, but readings can also highlight the unique spirit of the one who has died. Did they have a favorite book? Poem? Were they a person of faith who would want passages read? Use these preferences to create a one-of-a-kind tribute.

How do Readings Enhance the Funeral Experience?

How to Personalize Readings at a Funeral

10 Literary Readings for Any Type of Funeral

Top 10 Poems for a Funeral Ceremony

3. Viewing, Visitation, and/or Reception

The viewing, visitation, or reception is a time for family, friends, coworkers, and neighbors to gather and express support and sympathy. If it is decided to have a viewing with the loved one’s body present, it provides an opportunity for mourners to see that special person one more time. No matter which type of event you choose to incorporate, you can personalize the space to tell your loved one’s story through pictures, cherished items, and more.

Viewing vs. Visitation: What’s the Difference?

How to Personalize the Visitation at a Funeral

3 Reasons to Have a Visitation

4. Eulogy

The eulogy may be the single most important aspect of a funeral service. It is the time to acknowledge and affirm the significance of the life lived. It is the moment when friends and family tell the story of a person’s life and reflect on what they love and will miss. With that in mind, share treasured memories, quotes, or even the lost loved one’s favorite jokes. The eulogy, sometimes called the “remembrance” or the “homily,” can be delivered by a clergy person, a family member, or even by a series of people.

8 Tips for Crafting a Eulogy

11 Mistakes to Avoid When Writing a Eulogy

5 Public Speaking Tips for Delivering a Eulogy

5. Symbols

Symbols offer a focus point for the bereaved as well as a sense of comfort. A few common examples are religious symbols (like a cross or Star of David), funeral flowers, and lit candles. In addition to these examples, you could also choose a symbol that is unique to the person who has died. If they were a sports fan, drape their favorite jersey over the casket or urn. For a quilter, you can display quilts, or for a veteran, you can use the American flag. Simply choose symbols that make sense for your loved one’s unique life.

The Importance of Symbols

How to Personalize Symbols at a Funeral

6. Gathering

The gathering is an opportunity for friends and family to come together after the funeral service to share stories and to support each other. During the grief journey, it’s essential to talk about your grief and share the stories on your heart. By including a gathering, you give mourners dedicated time and space to do so. The gathering can be as simple or elaborate as you wish. It’s simply about taking time to talk and to honor the life of the person you all love.

What is the Purpose of a Gathering?

How to Personalize the Gathering at a Funeral

7. Actions

And finally, actions invite mourners to put their grief into motion. What does that mean? In order to facilitate the healing process, it’s important to channel grief into healing actions. At the funeral, this could mean inviting guests to light a candle, take part in the eulogy, or lay a flower on the casket. It could also mean acting as a pallbearer, bringing a potluck dish for the reception, or sitting quietly with the casket to say final goodbyes.

How Do Actions Help Us Heal?

How to Personalize Healing Actions at a Funeral

5 Meaningful Actions to Personalize a Funeral

As you plan a loved one’s final farewell, consider using these 7 elements to create a personalized tribute. By incorporating each one, you will create a sweet, meaningful, and healing experience. Those who come to mourn will leave feeling like they have truly honored the life lived and taken the first healthy step on their grief journey.

Dec 29

Love0

Man and woman greeting each other with a handshake in a professional setting

What to Expect at a Funeral Arrangement Conference

By christy.kessler Plan Ahead, Planning Tools

None of us are ever truly prepared to lose someone we love. Whether the loss comes suddenly or has been long expected, numbness and shock are common in the first two days, which is usually when the funeral arrangements are made. To help ease the burden you may feel so soon after a loss, it’s helpful to know what to expect when you head into an arrangement conference. Preparing ahead of time will help ease your mind and prepare your thoughts.

What is an Arrangement Conference?

An arrangement conference is a time specifically set aside to meet with a funeral director and discuss final disposition and the details of a meaningful tribute. Additionally, it’s an opportunity for the funeral director to get to know you better and learn how to best honor your loved one.

Dr. Alan Wolfelt, a nationally respected grief author and counselor, says that the funeral ritual is incredibly important for our individual grief journeys. He says, “Rich in history and rife with symbolism, the funeral ceremony helps us acknowledge the reality of the death, gives testimony to the life of the deceased, encourages the expression of grief in a way consistent with the culture’s values, provides support to mourners, allows for the embracing of faith and beliefs about life and death, and offers continuity and hope for the living.”

With this goal in mind, the arrangement conference gives you and the funeral director time to create a meaningful and healing funeral service. Most arrangement conferences take place in the funeral home, but if you are traveling from a long distance or can’t make it to the funeral home in person, you may also be able to work with your funeral director over the phone and via text, email, or other digital options.

What are the Main Objectives?

There are three main objectives for your time with the funeral director during the arrangement conference.

Gather the vital information of the person who died (full name, SSN, birthdate, etc.), which the funeral director will then use on your behalf to request death certificates and file for veterans’ burial benefits (if applicable) and life insurance claims.
Make your wishes known about how you want to remember and honor your lost loved one.
Select the most fitting funeral, cremation, and burial options.

Typically, the conference takes 2-3 hours on the day of or the day after a death. The funeral director will guide you through the available funeral service and memorial options, music selections, coordination with a church and cemetery (or other desired location for the service), and much more.

What Questions Should You Consider in Advance?

The funeral director is your partner and your guide throughout the funeral planning process. They have the experience and the knowledge needed to help you make informed decisions. Even though you will get thorough explanations from the funeral director, it’s a good idea to come to the arrangement conference having considered a few key questions:

Where and when should the services be held?
Do you want to publish an obituary? If you do, who will write it? Where will you publish it?
In lieu of flowers, do you want to offer charitable contributions as an option for sympathy gifts?
Have you chosen a cemetery or other final resting place?
Do you need assistance with selecting a monument or grave marker?
What kind of funeral service is most appropriate? Simple? Elaborate? Public? Private? Religious?
What would you consider to be the best way to honor and memorialize your lost loved one?
Should there be a viewing, visitation, funeral service, or committal service?
If there is a service, who will participate? Musicians, speakers, pallbearers?
Do you want floral arrangements present, and if so, what kind?
Will the final disposition be burial, cremation, or another type of interment?
Will the body be present at the funeral or memorial service?
If applicable, open or closed casket?
Do you know someone who will act as officiant, or will you need the funeral home’s assistance in finding one?

What Should You Bring?

The more information you bring, the smoother the meeting will be (and the less documentation you will need to bring back later). To help you prepare, print and review this Funeral Arrangement Conference Checklist. The list is fairly comprehensive and gives you an excellent place to start. However, please note that the funeral home may ask you for something not included.

Additionally, the funeral home might also reach out to you before the arrangement conference to start planning digitally. Completing some information ahead of time means that the focus of the in-person meeting can be about planning a meaningful, personalized service for your loved one.

Some Final Tips

First of all, prepare as much as you can ahead of time. You can gather necessary documents, clothing and personal items, details for the obituary, and photos to be used in the service ahead of time.

Secondly, don’t feel rushed during the conference. Remember, the funeral director is there to help you with all your needs and is ready to serve you fully.

Thirdly, ask as many questions as you need. As you plan a tribute for your loved one, the funeral director is there to be a knowledgeable and available partner in a difficult situation. Make use of their experience and ask as many questions as you want.

Finally, take notes. You will receive a lot of information during the arrangement conference, and it’s unlikely you will be able to remember it all. Take a notepad (or a friend) with you and make sure to write things down.

Hopefully, you now feel a little more prepared for an arrangement conference and can go into the meeting with confidence!

One Last Thought

After planning a funeral for a loved one, you know how hard it can be. Instead, here’s a pro tip: If you’d like to make the planning process easier for your own family in the future, consider the benefits of preplanning. With a prearranged funeral plan already in place, your family won’t have to answer dozens of questions while under a cloud of stress and grief. Instead, with your wishes in hand, the arrangement conference will go very smoothly. Often, the only question left to answer is the date and time for the service to be held!

To learn more about funeral preplanning, check out these resources:

Dec 09

Love0

Tiles with happy and sad faces printed on them resting on a table with a person's hand splitting them apart

Funerals and Family Discord: What Can You Do?

By christy.kessler Grief/Loss, Planning Tools

Funerals can be difficult. Emotions tend to live closer to the surface. Then, add the struggles and intricacies associated with relationships to the emotional pot. Dealing with family discord or difficult people at an already challenging time is taxing. If you’ve lost someone you love, you are already feeling a wide range of emotions, and you may not feel you have energy left to deal with difficult people or situations.

Family discord or interactions with difficult people can happen at any stage of the funeral process. It may be that you and a sibling disagree on the best way to honor your parent’s life. Or perhaps someone you have intentionally avoided will be coming to the funeral service. No matter the details of your particular situation, you may feel your stress levels rising when you think about the funeral. If this resonates with you, take a moment to review some thoughts on how to navigate these tricky moments.

1. Be aware of your emotions

Our emotions are a gift, but they are also our responsibility. They tell us how we feel, but they do not always reflect the truth about a situation. We need to examine whether our feelings are based on faulty assumptions or real facts.

As you deal with family discord or difficult people, try to be mindful of your emotions and what they are telling you. But more importantly, ask yourself, “Are my emotions a reflection of reality or a result of my potentially faulty conclusions?” In other words, are you thinking clearly or through an emotionally-blurred lens? It’s important to answer these questions before taking the offensive against family members during a very emotional time.

Remember – you control your emotions; they do not control you.

2. Find ways to compromise

Compromise is a highly successful way to navigate discord, so be on the lookout for areas where you can give and take. In some cases, family members may disagree about funeral arrangements for a lost loved one. Some may prefer cremation while others may prefer burial. And if cremation is chosen, what happens to the ashes? Who decides?

These types of family disagreements are one reason why it’s so important to plan ahead for funeral arrangements. If a loved one provides an outline of their wishes, survivors don’t have to stress over what to do. They can have confidence in what their lost loved one wanted. But in the absence of a plan, find ways to compromise so that everyone gets a little of what they want.

And if you’re attending a funeral where you will see a certain family member you’ve been avoiding, remember what the service is all about. It’s about honoring and saying goodbye to the person who has died. Whether or not there is a possibility to repair the strained relationship with the living person, try to set aside your differences until after services are complete.

3. Choose your words thoughtfully

It’s always good practice to weigh your words in every situation, especially during a time of loss. Those who speak out of anger or pain are usually in a reactive state and may say something hurtful that they later regret. If tension is rising with family members, words spoken in anger will only make things worse.

Instead, work to stand up for yourself and express your opinion without attacking the position of others. Try to really listen to what others are saying and see things from their perspective before responding. Start your statements with “I feel” or “I think” rather than “You always do this” or “You make me so mad!” Using “I” instead of “You” statements will help you take responsibility for your emotions without accusing others and putting them on the defensive, which could escalate an already tense situation.

4. Discover what helps you cope with stress

Next, take time to understand your own needs.

We should always try to learn more about our own motivations and those of other people, seeking to understand why we and others act or react in certain ways. What calms you down? What is your outlet or release? For some, it’s painting or writing, working out, being alone for a while, or spending time with specific people who bring life and comfort.

As you approach a situation that may be difficult, do what you need to do beforehand to bring your stress levels down. Think about appropriate ways to express your grief, your anger, your frustration, or whatever feeling is rising up in you. Don’t bottle it up; channel it appropriately. If you do feel the need to express your emotions vocally, go to a room by yourself (or with a safe person) and scream or cry if you need to.

5. Try to take the higher road

When dealing with a difficult person, the last thing you may want is to be “nice.” If you and a sibling are arguing over a parent’s final wishes for the funeral service, you are likely more irritated than kindhearted at the moment. But that’s why it’s so important to look for a way to be kind.

As you seek ways to be gracious to those who are difficult, rude, or discourteous, you may even change the direction of the conversation. Even if they don’t respond to you in kindness, you can look back at the funeral and say, “I did my best in a difficult situation.”

In life, conflict is unavoidable. How we respond and deal with it is what truly matters. If you are looking for a way to avoid future family discord or an uncomfortable situation at a funeral, one option is to talk with your elderly, living relatives about making advance funeral arrangements. Putting a plan in place provides a valuable opportunity for families to get on the same page regarding future events and prevent as much disagreement as possible.

Dec 08

Love0

Person sitting down and looking at online review on a smartphone

Top 10 Characteristics to Look for in a Funeral Home

By christy.kessler Explore Options, Planning Tools

While losing a loved one is not something any of us want to think about, there is value in thinking ahead and being prepared for the future. Whether you want to complete advance funeral arrangements or are in the midst of planning a loved one’s funeral right now, it’s important to choose the funeral home that works best for you.

Unfortunately, funeral homes are not created equal. As you select a funeral home to meet your planning needs, consider looking for these 10 characteristics.

1. Possesses a Good Reputation

You probably know of a place (whether it be a restaurant, retail store, or funeral home) that has a bad reputation. What do you instinctively do when you know a place has a bad reputation? You avoid it. You read online reviews, listen to other people’s stories, and value your own experience.

Particularly when selecting a funeral home, find a trusted establishment that maintains a good reputation so you can be confident in the care and service you will receive. Ask your friends for recommendations or read online reviews of the funeral homes in your area.

2. Employs Caring and Compassionate Staff

At any business, you should expect to be treated with kindness. However, this attitude should be especially true of funeral home staff, who should exhibit excellent customer service and authentic sincerity. If they don’t, you know there’s a problem.

Another way to determine whether a funeral home cares is to see how involved they are in the community. Alternatively, make a short list of funeral homes you are considering and give them a call. Just one conversation can tell you a lot about their service and care.

3. Communicates a Commitment to Families

No matter which funeral home you choose, you should have confidence in their commitment to you. If a funeral home has a good reputation and employs kind and caring staff, then they’re also likely to show great commitment to the families they serve.

However, it is still good practice to read a funeral home’s mission statement and history. These two pieces of information can give you a better understanding of a funeral home’s values and commitments. You and your family should be at the top of the list!

4. Expresses a Desire to Create a Meaningful Experience

Renowned grief counselor, author, and educator, Dr. Alan Wolfelt, says, “What is essential [when planning a funeral] is the life that was lived and the impact that life had on family and friends. To honor that unique life, the funeral must also be unique. Over and over families tell me that the best funerals are those that are personalized.”

As you consider a funeral home, ask yourself, “Will this funeral home help me create a service unique to my needs and values?” Personalized funerals are on the rise, and a good funeral home will work with you to create a meaningful and healing experience. The funeral director should listen carefully to your needs, answer your questions, and offer suggestions for creating a personalized final goodbye.

5. Offers a Good Location and Services

As you look for a funeral home to partner with, take your specific needs into account. For many, a convenient location is essential. When planning a funeral, you will be in frequent contact with the funeral home and easy access will be helpful for your preparations.

In addition to having a good location, evaluate the facility and services. Is the building clean and well-kept? Do they have room for a visitation, viewing, or reception (if your plans require such spaces)? Is the facility flexible, allowing you to adjust it to meet your specific needs?

Regarding services, does the funeral home offer what you need? Do they provide burial and cremation options? Do they coordinate graveside services or offer eco-friendly selections? No matter what your wishes are, only commit to a funeral home that can accomplish them.

6. Accommodates Religious or Cultural Needs

Another thing to consider is whether the funeral home can accommodate your religious or cultural needs. For some people, their origins and beliefs make up the fabric of who they are. It’s important that these core values are evident in the funeral or memorial service.

No two people are the same, and because of that individual uniqueness, no two funerals should be the same either. The funeral home you choose should be willing to help you express any religious or cultural beliefs you hold dear.

7. Values Transparency about Costs and Descriptions

Everyone values a clearly stated fee structure. With that in mind, partner with a funeral home that practices openness and transparency.

When you contact the funeral home, ask for the General Price List, which includes an itemized list of all services and merchandise. Every funeral home is required by the Federal Trade Commission to have this document updated and readily available for anyone who wishes to see it. With the Price List in hand, you can determine what’s best for your budget – no surprises!

And if you have questions about pricing or manufacturing, the staff should be willing to quickly and thoroughly answer your questions.

8. Offers Grief Resources

An important question to ask yourself is, “Does this funeral home provide services beyond the funeral itself?” A good funeral home will be there for you even after the funeral is over.

Look for an establishment that offers grief counseling services, post-funeral newsletters and education, grief support groups or materials, “check in” visits and phone calls, or holiday commemoration services, to name a few options. Your grief journey is important, and the right funeral home can help you on the road toward healing.

9. Utilizes Up-to-Date Technology

The funeral industry is often accused of being behind the times, but this is not entirely true. Yes, some funeral homes may be slow to change, but there are new, exciting technological advances available.

More and more funeral homes are cultivating a social media presence, creating and updating their websites, helping families create memorial videos, or offering a livestream of the funeral service. Some are even providing online funeral planning options. If these services are important to you, look for a funeral home that uses up-to-date technology to enhance its offerings.

10. Engages the Community with Education Programs

Finally, a good funeral home and its staff engage with the community before, during, and after the funeral. Does the funeral home host educational programs about estate planning and the importance of getting your affairs together? Do they offer educational events to share the importance of funeral preplanning or offer tours of the funeral home facilities? Do they offer hospice continuing education or engage in community events?

The funeral home should be an advocate of information. Death inevitably comes to us all, and we cannot change that. Education and preparation can be our ally, but that only happens if a funeral home engages with its community.

Hopefully this list of characteristics will help you find the best funeral home partner for your specific needs and wishes. Saying goodbye in a personalized and meaningful way is an important step in the healing journey, so don’t be afraid to ask questions and make sure you’ve got the right team by your side.

Jul 14

Love0

Man placing white rose reverently on top of casket

A Quick Guide to Planning a Funeral

By christy.kessler Explore Options, Planning Tools

Before we start, if you have recently lost a loved one, you have our sincerest sympathies. It is our hope that this quick guide to planning a funeral will help you navigate through the complex process of planning a funeral for a loved one. You will find accurate, up-to-date, and helpful links and information on a variety of topics. Let’s get started!

The “Why” of Funerals

To start off, it’s important to note that in today’s world many people miss out on the purpose and value of a funeral. But saying goodbye in a meaningful way is just as important today as it was thousands of years ago. Dr. Alan Wolfelt, a nationally respected grief expert who has counseled thousands of families, teaches that the funeral is an important rite of passage and “puts you on the path to good grief and healthy mourning.” To learn more about why funerals are important, take a look at the articles below.

Do Funerals Still Matter?

Why Does the Funeral Matter?

Should a Funeral Be Efficient or Effective?

The 6 Purposes of a Funeral

Final Disposition Options

Nowadays, your options for final disposition (or a final resting place) continue to expand. Please take a moment to read the articles below to help you decide which option is most appropriate for your needs.

Burial FAQs: What Are Your Burial Options?

Answering Your Green Burial Questions

5 Questions to Ask When Selecting a Casket

What Should I Know When Considering Cremation?

Urn Burial: Understanding the Basics

The Elements of a Meaningful Funeral Service

In order for a funeral service to be a healing and meaningful experience, there are several tried and true elements that you should consider incorporating.

Element #1: Music

Let’s discuss music. It sets the mood for a funeral and brings emotions to the forefront. In fact, one of the purposes of a funeral is to allow mourners to grieve together, and in many ways, music says what words cannot. Don’t be afraid to invite people to express grief. Consider using music that was significant to the lost loved one. What was their favorite genre of music? Did they have a favorite artist or song?

Why Include Special Music in a Funeral Ceremony?

How to Personalize Music at a Funeral

Setting the Tone for a Service: A Collection of Funeral Songs

Element #2: Readings

Readings add another facet to a meaningful funeral. They are a way to not only invite mourners to express their emotions, but readings can bring to life the unique spirit of the one who has died. Did they have a favorite book? Poem? Were they a person of faith who would want passages read?

How do Readings Enhance the Funeral Experience?

How to Personalize Readings at a Funeral

10 Literary Readings for Any Type of Funeral

Top 10 Poems for a Funeral Ceremony

Top 10 Bible Verses for a Celebration of Life Service

Element #3: Viewing/Visitation

The viewing or visitation is a time for family, friends, coworkers, and neighbors to gather and express support and sympathy. The viewing is an opportunity for mourners to see the special person one last time and begin to acknowledge the reality of the death. For many, it is important to physically see the body, and the viewing offers this opportunity. A visitation, which can be paired with a viewing, provides mourners with an opportunity to offer their support and condolences to the grieving family.

Viewing vs. Visitation: What’s the Difference?

How to Personalize the Visitation at a Funeral

3 Reasons to Have a Visitation

Element #4: Eulogy/Remembrance

Fourth, the eulogy may be the single most important aspect of a funeral service. It is the time to acknowledge and affirm the significance of the life lived. With that in mind, take time to share treasured memories, quotes, or even the lost loved one’s favorite jokes. The eulogy, sometimes called the “remembrance” or the “homily,” can be delivered by a clergy person, a family member, or even by a series of people.

8 Tips for Crafting a Eulogy

How to Personalize the Eulogy at a Funeral

11 Mistakes to Avoid When Writing a Eulogy

5 Steps for Writing a Personalized Eulogy with AI

Element #5: Symbols

Symbols, or symbolic acts, offer a focus point for the bereaved as well as a sense of comfort. Common symbols are a cross (or another appropriate religious symbol), flowers, and candles. For example, the act of lighting a candle, planting a memorial tree, and wearing dark clothing are all symbols we utilize.

The Importance of Symbols

How to Personalize Symbols at a Funeral

Element #6: Gathering

The gathering is an opportunity for friends and family to come together after the funeral service to share stories and to support each other. For more benefits of a gathering, take a few moments to read the article below.

What is the Purpose of a Gathering?

How to Personalize the Gathering at a Funeral

Element #7: Actions

By inviting others into action at the funeral service, you engage mourners and invite them to put their grief into motion. Simply put, mourning is the outward expression of our inward grief, so to move others toward healing, it is important to invite them to act.

How Do Actions Help us Heal?

5 Meaningful Actions to Personalize a Funeral

How to Personalize Healing Actions at a Funeral

Choosing a Memorial Service

Some families decide that a memorial service is a more appropriate tribute for their lost loved one. In short, the main difference between a funeral service and a memorial service is the absence of the body. All the other elements of a meaningful and healing service can be incorporated into a memorial service.

7 Tips for Planning a Memorial Service

What’s the Difference Between a Funeral and Memorial Service?

Personalization is Key

Whether you have a funeral service or a memorial service, the event will be more meaningful if it is personalized. By personalizing the service, you honor the unique life of your lost loved one. Moreover, the possibilities for personalization are endless. For a few ideas, read the articles below.

10 Ideas for Making a Funeral More Personal

Practical Ways to Personalize the 7 Elements of a Funeral

How to Personalize the Location of a Funeral

6 Ways to Personalize a Casket

Using Color to Personalize a Service

10 Ways to Use Photos to Personalize a Service

Funeral Procession

Accompanying the body to its final resting place is a time-honored tradition. If your family chooses to continue the tradition, the procession is a way for family, friends, and people in the community driving along the road to acknowledge the value of life and show respect for the one who has died.

What is the Purpose of a Funeral Procession?

Deciding on a Grave Marker

Placing a marker of some kind on a final resting place is important. Not only does it identify the person laid to rest, but it also gives the living a place to go should they desire to visit or mourn the lost loved one.

Quick Guide: Selecting and Installing a Grave Marker

What Should I Write on a Headstone?

6 Ways to Personalize a Memorial Marker

Sympathy Gifts

Sympathy gifts are a thoughtful way for mourners to express their support and condolences to the family of the lost loved one. Flowers have historically been a popular sympathy gift as have meal trains. However, in recent years, donations in memoriam to a favorite charity have risen in popularity.

10 Caring and Creative Sympathy Gifts

Sympathy Gifts You Can Mail

Funeral Etiquette: “In Lieu of Flowers” and Donations

Meal Train Etiquette: Tips for Bringing Food to the Grieving

Writing a Touching Obituary

One of the first things you will do after a loved one dies is write an obituary. You don’t have to be a great writer to beautifully express your love for someone you have lost. To that end, even as you include the expected details, consider how you might add little touches that reflect the individuality of the life lived.

How to Write a Great Obituary

5 Practical Obituary Writing Tips

Writing an Obituary with AI: Dos and Don’ts

Burial Benefits for Veterans

If your lost loved one is a veteran of the Armed Forces, he/she may be eligible for certain burial benefits through the Department of Veterans Affairs. Therefore, you might consider looking into these benefits to see if any of them are beneficial to you and your family.

5 Key Veteran Burial Benefits You Should Know

Top 4 Misunderstandings Around Veterans’ Burial Benefits

Veterans’ Burial Benefits Checklist

Resources for Advance Funeral Planning

Finally, if you are interested in making your own funeral prearrangement plan in advance, or are curious about why you should do so, take a moment to review the articles below.

What to Expect at a Preplanning Appointment

6 Ways You Can Save Money with Funeral Preplanning & Prefunding

How to Get Started with Funeral Preplanning

5 Emotional Benefits to Funeral Preplanning

How Preplanning Eases Emotional, Financial & Legal Burdens After a Death

Hopefully you have found all the information you need in this guide to planning a funeral. If you have additional questions, reach out to your preferred funeral home and speak with a funeral director. They can ensure that your questions and concerns are addressed quickly and accurately.

Nov 25

Love0

Man and woman in black clothing leaning on each other in a comforting way as they attend a visitation

Viewing vs. Visitation: What’s the Difference?

By christy.kessler Explore Options, Meaningful Funerals, Planning Tools

After losing a loved one, you will have to make many decisions regarding what type of services will best honor their unique life. As you speak with a funeral director, they may ask you, “Would you like to have a viewing or a visitation?” These two terms may seem interchangeable, but they actually aren’t. Let’s talk about the key difference between them.

What is a Viewing?

For some people, it’s important to physically see a loved one before they are laid to rest. At a viewing, the deceased’s body is available to “view,” often lying in a casket with flowers or memorabilia nearby. You can choose to have a public viewing or a private, family-only viewing.

The act of viewing the person can play an important role in the grieving process. It’s an opportunity to say goodbye in person, to touch that special person one final time, to kiss their forehead in farewell. It’s also an opportunity to truly acknowledge the reality of the death. Sometimes, the truth of a loved one’s death doesn’t feel real at first, but by seeing their body for yourself, the reality of the death begins to sink in. And as hard as it may be, accepting the reality of the death is an important aspect of the healing process.

Additionally, the viewing may also provide an opportunity to pay respects to the surviving family. It’s not required that the family be present at the viewing, but most of the time, they are. The viewing gives mourners access to the grieving family and the chance to offer condolences and support following the death.

What is a Visitation?

On the other hand, a visitation is a little different. The surviving family must be present, but the deceased’s body is not visible. While there may be photos, an urn, or even a closed casket, there is no viewing of the body itself.

Instead, the focus of the visitation is on paying one’s respects by offering support and condolences to the grieving family. It’s a time for surviving family members to make themselves available to friends, family, co-workers, and neighbors who want to offer their sympathies. It’s also a time to share stories about the deceased and comfort each other through shared grief.

Because the funeral service itself has an order of events, it’s not always the best time to offer support and condolences. The visitation is more casual and provides the chance to speak freely and as long as you want without the time constraints of the funeral service.

Are there Any Similarities?

Absolutely! Here are a few ways in which the viewing and visitation are similar to each other:

They may both include an opportunity to pay respects to surviving family members
Each event may be personalized to reflect the life of the person who has died
There may be refreshments or a meal provided, if the family wishes
The event can take place at the funeral home, church, community hall, or even a residence (depending on local regulations)
It doesn’t matter whether you choose burial or cremation, you can still have a viewing or visitation (though embalming is generally recommended for the viewing)

Could I Have a Viewing AND a Visitation?

Yes, you could, but to keep things less stressful for the grieving family, it’s often recommended to simply have a viewing with the family also present. By doing so, you cut down on the number of events the family must attend while still achieving the benefits of both a viewing and a visitation.

Is a Visitation or Viewing Required?

Neither of these events are required. It’s entirely up to your personal preferences whether you’d like to include either one. They do have their benefits, so speak with your family and the funeral director as you decide whether to include them or exclude them from a loved one’s final tribute.

Are There Times When a Viewing is Not Recommended?

Yes, there are times when the funeral director may recommend that the family skip the viewing. Most of the time, this recommendation is made because the body is not as presentable. While funeral homes can do wonders with cosmetics or restorative arts, there are times when it’s not enough to restore a loved one’s appearance to how you remember them. In these cases, the funeral director will use their professional judgment and suggest you skip the viewing. The final decision will be up to the surviving family members.

When Does a Viewing or Visitation Occur?

As you plan the funeral service with your chosen funeral director, you can discuss the options. The two most common choices are:

Have the visitation/viewing the evening before the funeral service. This allows anyone unable to attend the funeral service a secondary opportunity to say goodbye and offer their support.
Have the visitation/viewing the hour prior to the funeral service. This option means that the grieving family only has one event to attend, but there may be some people unable to attend due to their own work or personal schedules.

Ultimately, it’s up to the family to decide what’s best for their own grief and for honoring their loved one’s life.

Personalization is Key

Now that you have a better understanding about the key differences between a viewing and a visitation, it’s essential to discuss the importance of personalization. For an event to be meaningful, it must also be personalized. You can go simple or elaborate, but the personal touches will make the viewing or visitation that much more special to the grieving family and any other mourners.

Here are a few resources that will help you personalize the event, whether you choose a viewing or a visitation:

Nov 20

Love0

hands typing on a silver laptop with black keys

5 Steps for Writing a Personalized Eulogy with AI

By Courtney Cook Meaningful Funerals, Planning Tools

Writing a eulogy for a loved one can be a daunting task. Eulogies typically last for less than ten minutes, which feels like too short of a time to properly share the legacy of your loved one. Plus, you’re likely working through your own feelings of grief and coming to terms with the loss, which can make it hard to write, especially if you have no idea where to start.

To overcome the writer’s block that comes from staring at a blank page, you can use an AI writing tool. AI has taken the world by storm, and while it’s best not to run with whatever AI generates as-is, it can give you a great framework and a solid starting point for your eulogy. Here are five important steps to follow to help you develop a personalized, touching eulogy with the help of AI.

1. Provide a specific, detailed prompt

The more details your prompt has, the better your results from the AI generator will be! Include details about what was most important to your loved one: their family, their job, their hobbies, their pets. Also, add information about their personality, significant memories you shared with them, and their passions. If you’re not sure what to include, try asking your AI generator for a list of questions to help you brainstorm for a eulogy. When you put together your prompt, start it with “Write a eulogy about…” so the generator will know what tone to use and how to structure what it writes.

2. Ask the generator to refine the eulogy

Once AI creates something for you, it can also help edit and refine what it’s given you. If the eulogy is too serious or lighthearted, ask the AI generator to change the tone. You could ask AI to focus more on a specific part of the eulogy, like family life or personality. You can also ask the generator to shorten or lengthen the eulogy. Or if you don’t like the option provided, you can ask AI to try again, although you may need to adjust your prompt to get a better result. You can play around with different versions of the eulogy until you find one you like.

3. Double-check the facts

Often, AI generators will exaggerate facts or add incorrect information. This phenomenon is called AI hallucination, and it’s important to watch for it when working with an AI generator. You might mention in your prompt that your dad loved to play golf, but the AI generator may say that your dad won many golf tournaments when he only played casually. Or you might say that your aunt was great in the kitchen, and the AI generator may talk about her world-famous pot pie recipe (that doesn’t exist). Make sure to read through the eulogy and double-check all the details, including names and dates, to ensure that everything is accurate.

4. Make the eulogy more personal

While AI can create a great eulogy, it can’t make it sound like you. After fact-checking the information, sit down with the eulogy and rewrite it in your own words. Did AI use words you wouldn’t typically use? Does the tone match what you want to portray, whether sadness, peace, humor, or anything in between? Could you add any stories of your loved one to help illustrate their character? AI can state the facts and even use empathy, but it’s up to you to make the eulogy truly personal.

5. Read the eulogy aloud

Young man in a plaid shirt practicing a eulogy by reading it aloud from a paper

Once you’ve finished personalizing the eulogy, practice reading it out loud. This can help you get a better feel for the flow of the eulogy and give you a chance to practice before delivering the eulogy. Watch out for words or phrases you trip over or long sentences that don’t give you an opportunity to take a breath. You could also time yourself while reading the eulogy to get an idea of whether you need to shorten or lengthen it.

As you work on writing the eulogy, don’t be afraid to be vulnerable! While AI is a useful tool that can help you organize and create a eulogy, it doesn’t have your unique perspective and relationship with your loved one to draw from. By adding your own personal touch to the eulogy, you can create something that truly honors your loved one’s life.

More resources about eulogies:

Nov 12

Love0

Black urn sitting outside in a natural setting

Urn Burial: Understanding the Basics

By christy.kessler Cremation, Explore Options, Planning Tools

When you choose cremation, there are a lot more choices than you might think. Would you like to have a service before or after cremation takes place? If so, would you like to add personalized details? What kind of cremation casket/container do you prefer? And amongst those questions is this – what is your plan for the cremated remains once cremation is complete? For some, urn burial is a great option to consider. Let’s learn more!

What is Urn Burial?

Just like it sounds, the urn is buried in the ground (like a casket), and there is a personalized grave marker with birth and death dates. Many cemeteries will require an urn vault (which encases the actual urn) to ensure the ground stays level as time passes. In general, urn burial will cost less than casket burial because cemetery plots are smaller in size and urns cost less than caskets.

If you would like to bridge the gap between a traditional burial ceremony and cremation, then urn burial could be a good choice for your family. It also provides a permanent place for friends and family to visit the lost loved one whenever they wish.

Where Can You Bury an Urn?

After you’ve decided that urn burial is the route you’d like to go, the next step is deciding where to bury the urn. Let’s review your options.

Burial in a Cemetery

Perhaps the most popular option, burial in a cemetery is relatively easy to coordinate and gives your family a place to visit and leave memorial items after a loved one has died. Many cemeteries offer an urn burial section, and as stated before, the cost is more affordable because an urn requires less space.

Cemeteries often require that you bury the ashes in a cremation urn vault. This prevents the ground from caving in and becoming uneven should the urn begin to deteriorate over time. To be clear, in most cases, this means you would select an urn (decorative, stone, wood, etc.) and that urn would then be placed in the urn vault before burial takes place.

Burial in an Urn Garden

Some cemeteries also offer urn gardens or memorial gardens as an option for urn burial. These gardens provide a natural setting with flowers, trees, water features, and sometimes reflection pools. However, there may be special rules around grave markers to ensure the garden maintains a clean look.

Urn gardens are not available in every town or city, so if you would like to pursue this option, speak with your funeral director. They will have a good sense of the options available in your area.

Burial in a Green Cemetery

For some, natural settings provide peace, tranquility, and an eco-friendly option. However, with green cemeteries, there will be specific requirements on which types of urns you can use.

Many green cemeteries will ask you to choose an urn that is all-natural and biodegradable with no synthetic glues, stains, or metal components. They will likely have eco-friendly urns available for purchase in materials like natural woods, ceramic, paper, or cardboard, to name a few.

Burial on Your Personal Property

Can you bury an urn in your backyard? In some states, you can. If you would like to bury a loved one’s ashes on your personal property, make sure you investigate state or local regulations first. There may be zoning laws or distance requirements that could prohibit you from urn burial on your property. Additionally, you may be required to have a special permit or to designate the land as a family cemetery. To see the regulations in your state, click here.

Additionally, it’s good to consider the long-term implications, such as property transfer. If you decide to sell your home at some point, you will either need to disclose to prospective buyers that there are human remains buried on the property, or you will need to dig up the urn and take it with you to your new home.

Burial on Someone Else’s Private Property

If you have a friend who owns acres and acres of land, and you have their permission to bury a loved one’s urn, then in most cases, you can do it. But as a reminder, look into those rules, regulations, and ordinances first. Every state’s requirements are different, so to make sure everything stays legal, look at the fine print.

If you are interested in burial on land that belongs to a corporation, business group, or even federal land, the likelihood of gaining permission is slim. For example, if you’d like to bury a loved one’s urn at their favorite National Park, you are unlikely to receive permission. While most National Parks allow scattering, they don’t allow burial. If you are denied permission to bury, it’s best to accept that decision and move on to your second choice.

What Types of Urns are Best for Urn Burial?

The best type of urn to choose depends on your personal preferences and the burial location. Before you can choose an urn, you first need to decide what type of urn burial you want. Once you’ve chosen, select which type of urn would work best.

Here are a few of the main types:

Temporary urn (box used to return ashes to the family)
Custom-built or personalized urn
Biodegradable, eco-friendly urn
Stone urn (which will also serve as a vault)

When choosing an urn, consider the material, design, size, and functionality. For example, if you’ve chosen burial in a green cemetery, there’s no point in looking at stone urns. Instead, your best bet is to look at biodegradable urns.

The material, design, and size will affect the pricing to a certain extent, so keep that in mind. Some metals or wood will be more expensive than others. If you’d like a custom shape, like a guitar for a musician’s funeral, that will add to the overall cost. However, these personalized details often carry rich meaning, and if they provide a way for you to honor your loved one’s life, carefully consider whether to customize the urn or not.

Regarding the size of the urn, make sure you know how much space the burial plot includes and purchase accordingly. Some cemeteries may even require specific dimensions, so confirm with the cemetery staff before choosing an urn or vault.

Urn Burial FAQs

To ensure you have the answers you need, check out these frequently asked questions.

Can you bury only part of the ashes?

If you’d like to keep a portion of the ashes for cremation jewelry or to place in a keepsake urn in your home, you can do that. Just make sure that you inform the cemetery, so they know the exact amount of remains to be buried.

Can you bury two urns in one burial plot?

It will be up to the cemetery’s regulations, but many do offer shared plots, allowing spouses or families to rest together. If this is important to you, speak with your preferred cemetery about their specific options.

Can you bury ashes without an urn?

You will need to double-check with your chosen cemetery, but many will require some sort of container. With a traditional cemetery, you can bury with an urn vault only, which means you would not need a decorative urn.

If you choose a green cemetery, it’s unlikely they will require an urn vault, but they may still request some sort of biodegradable container.

There may be some cemeteries that allow you to place the ashes directly in the ground (no urn or vault), but they are less common and may be harder to find in your area.

Do some urns serve as their own burial vaults?

If you select a stone urn, such as marble, onyx, or granite, the cemetery may not require that you also have an urn vault. Stone is not going to degrade in the same way as wood, ceramic, metal, or glass. However, ask the cemetery personnel what their policy is regarding stone urns. The answer may vary from state to state or cemetery to cemetery.

What material should I choose for the burial urn?

It all depends on your burial plan. Stone, metal, and marble offer longevity, durability, and strength. Biodegradable materials are preferred for green or natural burial. Speak with the funeral home or cemetery staff to get a sense of what works best for your specific needs.

Can you bury cremated remains you’ve had at home for a while?

Absolutely. In fact, it’s best to have a permanent plan for a loved one’s remains. Keeping the ashes at home is fine for a time to aid in healing. But keep in mind – someday you, too, will die. What happens to the ashes then? A younger family member may not realize the significance of the urn and simply clean out the house, not realizing the ashes were even there. Rather than have something unfortunate occur, make a plan for your loved one’s ashes – scattering, burial, placement in a columbarium – even if you don’t plan to remove the urn from your home for another 5 or 10 years.

Can you change your mind or move the urn after burial?

If you change your mind after urn burial has taken place in a cemetery, speak with the cemetery personnel to discuss your options. There may be restrictions on unearthing the urn once it’s placed in a cemetery. However, at your home, you can unearth the urn to allow you to scatter the remains or give them a different permanent home.

Disclaimer: This is general information, not legal advice. Consult a funeral director in your area to confirm, as state and local laws may vary.