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Oct 09
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10 Traditional Jewish Funeral Customs

By Educational, History of Funerals

Every culture and religion have their own traditions and rituals surrounding the funeral, and the Jewish faith is no different. Today, let’s discuss 10 traditional Jewish funeral customs and their purpose and significance to the millions of people who follow Judaism. However, please note that there are several different movements within Judaism, which means their customs will vary a bit. But regardless of the branch of Judaism, Jewish funeral customs follow a strong set of beliefs tied closely to the Torah.

Jewish prayer shawl

1. Taharah (Preparation of the Body)

In accordance with Jewish custom, the deceased’s body is washed, purified, and dressed after death (but not embalmed). This ritual washing is called taharah. Traditionally, women will complete taharah for women and men for men.

After the washing is complete, the body is often dressed in a plain ceremonial shroud (called a tachrichim). In some cases, the deceased may be buried in a kittel, which is a white garment worn on High Holidays or at weddings. For men, a prayer shawl and religious skullcap (or yarmulke) are also included.

2. Shemira (Watching Over the Deceased)

As a sign of respect and kindness, the deceased is never left alone from the time of death until services are complete. This practice of watching over or guarding the deceased is called shemira, and the person guarding the deceased is called a shomer.

This responsibility can be shared and taken in shifts. Often, it’s family members, friends, or members of the synagogue who step in to serve as shomrim. During shemira, comforting psalms can be read aloud with the intention of bringing comfort to both the spirit of the departed and that of the shomer.

Jewish memorial marker with remembrance stones

3. K’vurah B’karka (Ground Burial)

Traditionally, burial takes place within 24 hours of death, but in some Jewish movements, more time is allowed. However, burial does still take place as soon as possible. In many cases, the funeral is held at the graveside, though it could also occur at the funeral home or synagogue.

The service may be brief and simple, designed to honor the loved one and to allow an opportunity to offer condolences to the family. There may also be readings, eulogies, and the recitation of prayer.

If you are a non-Jew and would like to know what to expect at a Jewish burial, make sure to read “Jewish Funeral Etiquette: What to Expect as a Non-Jew.”

4. Kriah (Tearing or Rending of the Garment)

Following the death of a loved one, immediate family members will often wear a black ribbon. This ribbon is torn as an outward sign of personal pain and grief. Orthodox Jews may choose to tear their clothing (often the collar), while Reform Jews tear the black ribbon instead. The tearing most often occurs before the funeral ceremony in a private room with only immediate family members present.

The torn ribbon or garment is then worn during shiva, but not on Shabbat or Festival Days. Traditional Jews may continue to wear the torn garment through the 30 days of shloshim. (We will discuss shiva and shloshim in more detail shortly.)

Wooden casket

5. Levayah (Accompany the Deceased)

Similar to a non-Jewish funeral procession, Jewish mourners accompany the deceased to the final resting place. This action affirms that those who love the deceased are still and forever joined together. It is also thought that the soul of the departed is comforted by the presence of their loved ones during the transition from one life to another.

Because burial is perhaps the most important part of the Jewish funeral, mourners should make every effort to participate in levayah and the graveside service.

6. Seudat Havra’ah (Meal of Condolence)

After burial, the meal of condolence typically takes place at the synagogue or the home of the bereaved. Friends, neighbors, or extended family members provide a meal that often includes lentils, hard-boiled eggs, and bread. In Judaism, these foods are associated with mourning or with life itself. Other simple and easily digestible foods may also be included in the consolation meal.

Hard-boiled eggs, a common part of the meal of condolence

7. Shiva (Week of Mourning)

Shiva is the first seven days after the funeral – a mourning period where the deceased’s family stays at home and receives guests. Traditionally, shiva begins immediately after the burial and is a time to acknowledge any feelings of grief and sadness. Today, many families observe only one or two days of traditional shiva rather than the full seven.

During shiva, the bereaved family will recite prayers and reflect on their loss. Guests offering condolences often bring kosher meals as a gift to feed the family and their visitors.

Throughout shiva, personal grooming and physical intimacy are not allowed. Mirrors are also covered to encourage mourners to focus on the deceased and not on personal appearance. These actions symbolize the disruption that death brings and demonstrate grief through self-sacrifice.

8. Shloshim (First 30 Days of Mourning)

Directly following shiva, there is a 30-day period of mourning called shloshim. During this time, the bereaved family will go back to their normal routines, but they will continue to recite prayers and daily hymns. Some Jews may choose to wear the torn black garment or ribbon from the kriah ritual. Additionally, it’s common to refrain from haircuts, shaving, and attending social or even religious events.

Some families may choose to end shloshim with a special service where mourners speak about the deceased. Also, if there is to be a public memorial service, it often occurs after the conclusion of shloshim.

Lit candle of remembrance

9.  Yahzreit (Anniversary of the Death)

Every year, on the anniversary of the deceased’s death, the family lights a candle and leaves it to burn for 24 hours. This is an act of remembrance and helps the family on the grief journey.

It’s common practice to recite Jewish prayers or to attend synagogue services. Other families may choose to share a song, place a picture of the lost loved one nearby, recite the Mourner’s Kaddish, or visit the grave of the deceased.

10. Hakamat Ha-Matzeivah (Unveiling Ceremony)

Approximately one year after the funeral, the family gathers at the gravesite for the unveiling of the gravestone. There’s often a brief service, which may include readings and recitations, a few words about the deceased, and the unveiling itself. The presence of a rabbi is not required, but some families may choose to include one in the planning and facilitation of the ceremony.

Hopefully you now have a deeper and better understanding of the beauties of Jewish funeral traditions. Again, these customs will vary a bit depending on whether a person practices Orthodox Judaism, Reform Judaism, or one of the other movements. But overall, the heart behind the Jewish funeral tradition is to respect the deceased in every way possible and support the grieving family as they mourn the loss of someone dearly loved.

Oct 09
Love0

What is a Healthcare Power of Attorney?

By Estate Planning, Plan Ahead

When it comes to estate planning, there are many documents that cover different areas of your life, like healthcare, finances, and funeral wishes. One such document that plays a vital role in supporting your healthcare wishes is the healthcare power of attorney, also known as a medical power of attorney or a durable power of attorney for healthcare.

But what exactly is a medical power of attorney, and why do you need one? Let’s learn more about this important document!

What does a healthcare power of attorney do?

A power of attorney authorizes someone else, often called an agent, to make decisions on your behalf. There are different types of power of attorney. A general power of attorney nominates one agent who can act on your behalf in all financial, legal, and medical areas. However, if you wish to nominate someone different for each area, you’ll need to explore limited powers of attorney.

That’s where a healthcare power of attorney comes in! A healthcare power of attorney serves as one piece of your advance care directive, a set of documents that lays out the medical care you wish to receive. You can use this type of power of attorney to nominate someone you trust as a healthcare proxy. A healthcare proxy or agent will make medical decisions for you if you cannot communicate.

Remember that the medical power of attorney only names the person you wish to be your proxy and doesn’t outline your wishes. You’ll need to create a living will to document your wishes. Once you’ve documented your wishes, you can share them with your healthcare proxy so they know what decisions to make.

Who can I nominate as my healthcare proxy?

While every state has its own regulations regarding healthcare proxies, in most cases, your proxy must be over 18. Most people nominate their spouse or a family member, but you can nominate anyone you trust, like a close friend or your lawyer. It’s highly recommended not to select your healthcare provider as your proxy.

As you consider who to select as your healthcare proxy, look for someone you feel comfortable communicating your wishes to. Your proxy should be someone you trust to follow your wishes, even if they don’t agree with them. Consider choosing someone who lives nearby or would be willing to travel to you if a situation arises.

Before adding your potential proxy to your power of attorney, talk to them about your wishes and ask them if they feel comfortable serving in this role. Keep in mind that a healthcare proxy is not the same as a guardian. If you don’t have a power of attorney in place when you are incapacitated, a court may appoint a guardian to act on your behalf. A healthcare proxy is only responsible for medical decisions, while a guardian can also make financial and legal decisions.

When does the healthcare power of attorney take effect?

Your healthcare proxy will only step in if you are incapacitated or unable to communicate. If you go into a coma or vegetative state, have an issue arise while under anesthesia, or are unable to speak, move, or write after a stroke or an accident, your healthcare proxy will make decisions on your behalf. Your proxy may make medical decisions if you are in the late stages of Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia.

As long as you are conscious, of sound mind, and able to communicate, you will have decision-making power, and your healthcare power of attorney will not be used.

What decisions can my healthcare proxy make?

If your healthcare power of attorney comes into effect, your proxy will have the authority to make medical decisions. This includes decisions about the care you receive, like surgeries, treatments, medication, pain relief, CPR, and more.

Additionally, your proxy can determine which healthcare providers and physicians you use. Your proxy also has authority over what facilities you visit for treatment, including nursing homes or assisted living facilities. They may make decisions about comfort care, hospice, mental health treatment, and organ donation as well.

In many cases, your healthcare proxy will need to coordinate with the agent you have listed on your financial power of attorney to ensure that medical costs can be covered. While your healthcare proxy should follow your living will, they aren’t legally required to. They may also need to make decisions about medical issues that aren’t mentioned in your living will.

How do I create a healthcare power of attorney?

While many online resources can help you create your healthcare power of attorney, the best course of action is to consult an estate planning lawyer. Each state has different regulations, and a lawyer can ensure your power of attorney is valid.

When creating your power of attorney, you must be of sound mind. Some states require you to have witnesses when you sign the form, while others require the document to be notarized. Depending on your state’s regulations, you may also need to have your proxy sign the forms.

Once your healthcare power of attorney is created, give a copy to your proxy and your medical provider. Keep the original document in a secure location, along with your other estate planning documents.

Can I revise my healthcare power of attorney?

Yes, you can! In fact, as your circumstances change, it’s important to keep your healthcare power of attorney up to date. Whether you move to a new state or want to change your proxy, you can change your power of attorney. Just like when you write your power of attorney, you must be of sound mind to change the document.

If you do make changes to your healthcare power of attorney, make sure to revoke or cancel your previous version. Depending on your state’s regulations and your specific situation, you may need to sign a revocation letter or include a clause in your new power of attorney revoking prior powers of attorney. Don’t forget to inform all pertinent parties (like your healthcare provider and proxy) of the change. It’s also a good idea to destroy any previous copies to prevent confusion.

As you make decisions about your medical wishes and healthcare proxy, don’t be afraid to ask for help from people you trust. And if there’s anything you’re unsure about, don’t hesitate to contact a local estate planning attorney. They can ensure that your wishes are documented in a valid way.

DISCLAIMER: Individual circumstances and state laws vary, so any estate planning should only be undertaken with the help and assistance of an attorney licensed in your state.

Oct 09
Love0
Man's hand touching a prayer book resting on top of a Jewish prayer shawl

Jewish Funeral Etiquette: What to Expect as a Non-Jew

By Educational

Attending a funeral is a profound way to show respect and offer comfort to those who are grieving. But attending a service for someone in a faith tradition you’re unfamiliar with can be intimidating. This is especially true for non-Jews attending a Jewish funeral for the first time. Many of the customs and traditions included in a Jewish funeral may be unfamiliar to non-Jews.

If you’ve been invited to a Jewish funeral, don’t hesitate to attend and support the grieving family! If you are respectful and sensitive, your presence will be appreciated. And while every Jewish funeral will look different depending on the Jewish family’s level of observance, this guide can help you better understand what to expect. Let’s get started!

Deciding What to Wear

People at graveside service in modest clothing

While non-Jewish funeral attendees aren’t always required to adhere to Jewish rules about modesty, it’s best to dress respectfully. Generally, it’s a good idea for both women and men to wear clothing covering their knees, shoulders, and elbows.

Wearing black typically isn’t a requirement, but choose colors and patterns that are more muted and not showy. Avoid clothing with many embellishments, and when in doubt, opt for business casual. Good options include pants and a collared shirt or suit for men and a long dress, skirt, or slacks for women. Additionally, if you’ll be outside at the funeral or graveside service, dress for the weather and wear shoes you can walk across dirt and grass with.

Non-Jews are generally exempt from Jewish rules about head coverings. But if the funeral occurs in a synagogue, men and/or women may be required to cover their heads or hair. Synagogues may have yarmulke, also known as kippah or skullcaps, available for men to use at the entrance. When in doubt, you can bring a hat or, for women, a scarf to cover your head if requested.

Understanding a Few Traditions

Close-up of a wooden casket

Jewish funerals often involve many different traditions and rituals. While you may not see or hear about all of these, depending on the family’s level of observance, here are a few of the most common traditions.

Burial within 24 hours: Many branches of Judaism believe that the deceased should be buried within 24 hours of death, although some traditions allow 72 hours.

Ritual washing: Before burial, Jewish community members wash and prepare the body, dressing the deceased in a white garment called a tachrichim.

Wooden casket: In many Jewish traditions, burial occurs without any metal, including metal caskets or nails, which makes wooden caskets the traditional choice.

Closed casket: Jewish funerals will almost always be closed casket funerals, as viewing the deceased is considered a violation of their privacy.

Natural burial: Most Jewish burials are natural, as Jewish law prohibits tampering with a body, which means that bodies are not embalmed except in special circumstances.

Asking for forgiveness: You may see mourners whispering near the casket. They might be asking for forgiveness from the deceased, resolving bad connections, or saying words they wish they had.

Kriah/tearing: Immediate family or very close friends of the deceased may have a piece of their clothing cut or torn or a black ribbon pinned to their clothing. This symbolizes how the loss of a family member tears the family.

If a Jewish funeral doesn’t include one of these traditions or seems out of the norm, remember that different branches of Judaism have different traditions. Avoid drawing attention to differences as they may be sensitive topics, especially if there were family disagreements about what to include in the service.

Attending the Funeral

Man's hand touching a prayer book resting on top of a Jewish prayer shawl

Jewish funerals are typically held at the graveside, a synagogue, or the funeral home. In Jewish tradition, flowers are not acceptable for funerals, so there will usually be no flowers at the service.

Before the funeral, the grieving family should not be greeted except by other very close family members or friends, and often, you may not see the family until the service starts. In many Jewish traditions, those offering condolences should wait for the family to speak to them first before sharing their sympathies, which typically occurs while the family sits shiva in the days following the service.

While the contents of the funeral may vary, most Jewish funerals will include prayers and recitations of Psalms. There may or may not be a eulogy, depending on the family’s level of observance. For readings and prayers, you may participate if you feel comfortable, but it’s not necessary. If you do, keep your voice soft and respectful and take cues from those around you.

Just like at any funeral, observe general etiquette rules and keep your cell phone off and out of sight. Unless you are a very close friend of the family, sit a respectful distance away.

Attending the Graveside Service

yellow leaf resting on top of a granite headstone with the Star of David engraved on it

Burial will typically occur immediately after the funeral. Often, only close family and friends will go to the graveside service, so if you don’t know the family well, it’s usually okay to skip it as a non-Jew.

There may be several readings or prayers at the graveside. Mourners will typically recite the burial or graveside Kaddish, a traditional Jewish prayer. In some branches of the Jewish faith, only male mourners will recite the Kaddish. Others do allow women to participate in reciting the prayer. If you’re not in the Jewish faith, you don’t need to worry about joining in the Kaddish.

During the service, mourners often take turns shoveling earth into the grave. While you aren’t required to participate, it can be a beautiful way to pay your respects to the deceased.

After the graveside service, Jews usually wash their hands, whether at the cemetery or before entering a home. As a non-Jew, you’re not required to participate, but if you wish to, follow the lead of those around you.

Sharing Your Condolences

Person writing a condolence letter to a grieving friend

If you’re unable to attend the funeral or just wish to express your sympathies to the family after the fact, there are a few things you can do to share your condolences. In the days following a funeral, Jewish families sit shiva, where friends and family comfort them at home. If you’re interested in visiting the family during shiva, check out this article to learn more about what to expect.

When offering your condolences to a Jewish family, wait for the family to greet you before speaking with them. Avoid referring to an afterlife and instead focus on the memory of the deceased. For example, you could say, “May his memory be a blessing” or “May her memory bring you comfort.” If you send a sympathy card or condolence letter, make sure not to send anything with a Biblical quote from the New Testament.

If you wish to send the family a gift, keep a few things in mind. While flowers are often used at non-Jewish funerals, don’t send flowers to the mourners at a Jewish funeral. You can bring food to the family, but ask about food sensitivities and whether or not kosher food is required. Memorial donations to organizations or causes important to the deceased or the family are another option you can explore. But don’t feel pressured to give anything, especially if you’re not used to preparing kosher food. Your presence is enough.

As you plan to attend a Jewish funeral, remember that your presence matters most. As long as you are kind and respectful, the family will appreciate your support while you pay respects to the deceased.

Oct 04
Love0
Woman in mustard yellow cardigan sitting at table, signing documents

Understanding the Living Will & Why It Matters

By Educational, Estate Planning

When planning ahead for the future (even the far future), it’s important to make sure you cover all the bases. That means making decisions about your physical estate, digital estate, funeral plans, and medical care preferences. Today, we’ll discuss the living will and how it helps your family understand your treatment preferences in a medical emergency or life-threatening situation.

Black stethoscope laying on paperwork that says "Living Will Declaration"

What is a Living Will?

First, let’s define the term “living will.” Sometimes confused with the “last will and testament,” the living will has a separate purpose: to communicate your preferences regarding life-prolonging medical treatment. Essentially, the living will spells out the medical treatments you would or would not want used to keep you alive. It provides direction on life-prolonging procedures, treatment for terminal conditions, and vegetative state conditions.

For example, if a person has no brain function after a serious car accident, they might not want to be kept alive with a ventilator. The living will is the document where that person would indicate they do not want a ventilator used to prolong their life under these circumstances.

You can create a living will at any age. And the living will only comes into play if you are in a life-threatening situation and are incapacitated and unable to make decisions for yourself. If you are awake and coherent, the doctors will ask you directly about your care and not consult the living will.

Asian man in brown jacket sitting at a table while opening an envelope with papers inside

Why Would I Create a Living Will?

In cases where a person is unconscious or incapacitated (coma, dementia, brain damage) and is suffering from a terminal illness or life-threatening injury, doctors consult the living will. However, if there’s no living will available, all medical care questions are posed to the spouse, family members, or designated healthcare proxy.

The main reasons to have a living will are four-fold:

  1. Make your medical preferences known to your family, loved ones, and doctors
  2. Relieve your family from having to make difficult medical decisions on your behalf
  3. Reduce confusion or disagreements regarding your medical care
  4. Protect your loved ones from the emotional toll of taking on the responsibility of deciding your life or death

By creating a living will, you decide what’s best for you. In a sense, even in a dire situation, you can still control what happens to you.

Two men reviewing living will documents together

What Medical Decisions Should I Address in the Living Will?

You can address whatever medications or treatments you want in the living will, but here are some things you should consider mentioning:

As you consider your options, remember that you are only recording your wishes for emergency medical situations where you are incapacitated or unable to make decisions yourself.

If you aren’t sure what the pros and cons are of each type of treatment, schedule time with your primary care physician to discuss the implications of each. Also, try not to make decisions without input from others. Include your spouse, partner, or close family members in the discussion.

Man and woman sitting at home and reviewing documents together

How Do I Write a Living Will?

Many states provide a template you can use to record your medical care preferences, but if that isn’t an option, contact an estate planning attorney. They will be familiar with your state’s specific laws and can ensure all your bases are covered.

However, here are a few things to keep in mind as you consider writing a living will:

  • Think about your personal values. Would you want treatment only if a cure were possible? Do you want medical professionals to do everything they can to save your life?
  • Consider your family’s wishes about each type of medical treatment.
  • Take your religious beliefs into account. For some people, religious tenets may dictate the types of care they choose to receive.
  • Many states require you to sign the living will before witnesses or a notary. Talk with an estate planning attorney or familiarize yourself with your state’s requirements.
  • List your healthcare proxy’s name and contact information if you have one. This person makes medical decisions on your behalf, using your living will as a guide. Click here to learn more about how to set up a healthcare proxy.
  • Your living will must be in writing to be legally valid.
  • If you choose to use a living will template, make sure to download the one intended for your state.

As you consider what to include in your living will, remember that you won’t think of every possible medical emergency. Instead of trying to plan for every scenario, address what you can and trust your healthcare proxy or your family’s judgment regarding any unexpected scenarios.

Older woman in bright orange sweater sitting at table, signing a legal document

What Do I Do with My Living Will Once It’s Complete?

Once your living will is signed and witnessed, it’s time to distribute it to all the pertinent people. You will want to:

  • Keep the original in a safe but easily accessible place.
  • Give a copy to your primary care physician.
  • Give a copy to your healthcare proxy if you have one.
  • Discuss your medical decisions with family if you haven’t already.
  • Consider carrying a wallet-sized card that indicates you have a living will and identifying your healthcare proxy by name and contact information.
  • Keep a copy with you when you are traveling.

How Long Does a Living Will Last?

It lasts until you cancel it. To cancel it, all you need to do is destroy all current copies. Make sure that any copies you gave to family members, doctors, or anyone else are destroyed and replaced.

Mature couple sitting down with attorney to discuss and sign legal documents

Can I Change or Revoke My Living Will?

Absolutely! Once a living will is signed, it goes into effect. However, if you want to make changes or revoke it, destroy all copies of the old living will and replace them with your new, updated documentation.

It’s always a good idea to review your living will occasionally, especially if something in your life has changed. For example, have you received a new diagnosis? That might affect how you feel about certain medical treatments. Have you married or divorced? You might want to update your healthcare proxy.

A good rule of thumb is to review your living will every ten years or so. Not only might your personal circumstances have changed, but your stance on certain medical treatments may have altered.

Signing a document, focus on paper and pen

Can My Living Will be Broken or Ignored?

Yes, it can. If you designate a healthcare proxy, that person has the authority to make medical decisions on your behalf and can go against your wishes. This is why choosing someone you trust as your healthcare proxy is important.

Also, your living will can be ignored if it is deemed invalid. For example, if you didn’t get the proper signatures or any previous living wills weren’t destroyed, your current directives may not be followed.

However, if you follow your state’s laws and choose a healthcare proxy you can trust, you should have no problems.

If I Move to Another State, Should I Update My Living Will?

The short answer – maybe. If you decide to move to another state, it would be best to consult an attorney on whether you need to create a new living will. And if you split your time between two homes in different states, ask your attorney if it would be best to have a living will in each state. They can advise you on the best way forward.

Woman in mustard yellow cardigan sitting at table, signing documents

Do I Need a Doctor or a Lawyer to Review My Living Will?

Legally, you do not have to get input from a doctor or a lawyer, but it would be a good idea to do so if possible. They can offer insight from their respective fields and ensure everything is done well and correctly. All decisions are entirely in your hands, so if you disagree with your doctor, that’s fine. But sometimes, you don’t know what you don’t know, and it’s helpful to have an expert by your side.

If you have additional questions about the living will and its purpose in protecting your family and communicating your medical preferences in emergencies or life-threatening situations, contact a local estate planning attorney. They are the best source for accurate information on how to proceed with creating a living will.

DISCLAIMER: Individual circumstances and state laws vary, so only undertake estate planning with the help and assistance of an attorney licensed in your state.

Oct 01
Love0

3 Ways Halloween Can Trigger Grief

By Exclude from Top Posts, Grief/Loss

Grieving the loss of a loved one at any time of year is difficult, but holidays can be particularly difficult. While Halloween isn’t perhaps the most family-oriented holiday, like Thanksgiving or Christmas, it can still bring out complicated emotions. In many ways, Halloween can trigger grief in its own unique way. Let’s discuss 3 ways Halloween can trigger grief and what you can do to minimize the effects.

3 Ways Halloween Can Trigger Grief

Tombstone and skull Halloween decorations outside a home

Grief Trigger #1: The Imagery

While it’s usually meant in good fun, Halloween does lean heavily on dark and death-centric imagery. Tombstones, ghosts, grim reapers, the color black, witches, mummies, and the like all ground the holiday firmly in death and its cultural associations. For those who are grieving, the consistent reminders of death everywhere they go and the way the decorations often make light of the reality of death could be a grief trigger.

Woman with black hair sitting on couch, hugging a pillow close and pressing her face into it

Grief Trigger #2: The Focus on Fear and Death

Halloween is undeniably focused on fear and death with candy and costumes mixed in. After all, many people celebrate the holiday by watching scary movies, going to haunted houses, or decorating their home with gravestones and ghouls. For those who have recently lost a loved one, fear and death are not figurative; they are real. Halloween’s focus on these two topics may only intensify feelings of grief in the bereaved and make them feel at odds with society and possibly friends or family.

Mother and son looking at photo album, remembering a lost loved one

Grief Trigger #3: Reminders of a Lost Loved One

Just as with any holiday, there can be aspects of Halloween that trigger memories of the person who has died. Did they love Halloween? Did you find their last costume in the closet? Were they in charge of this year’s family costume? Missing out on cherished traditions can bring grief to the surface. For the grieving parent, there’s no Halloween costume to design for a beloved child this year. For the best friends who always sat down to watch the film Hocus Pocus every year, there’s now a missing piece of the holiday, which causes sadness to surface.

Now that you know these 3 possible grief triggers, what can you do to prepare yourself to face them throughout the Halloween season?

What Can You Do to Prepare Yourself for Halloween Grief Triggers?

Halloween pumpkin candy pail in the trash can

Consider Skipping Halloween This Year

While you can’t escape Halloween entirely, you can choose to personally skip the holiday this year. Avoid the section of the store where all the decorations are displayed. If you get a party invitation, choose not to attend. Set aside your costume-making skills for now. There’s nothing wrong with saying no, especially if it’s not going to benefit you. Listen to your feelings and do what is best for your emotional health and your grief journey.

Swap in Light-Hearted Activities

While other people are watching scary movies or experiencing jump-scares at a local haunted house, instead choose to focus on more light-hearted activities. Watch your favorite comedies. Go watch local improv theater. Bring peaceful colors and light into your home. While outside may be cemeteries and cobwebs, your home can be a haven from the grief triggers beyond your door.

Young woman laying on bed, writing in journal

Engage With Your Grief

If you are dealing with negative emotions and grief triggers around Halloween, take time out for self-care and to process your emotions. You can unpack your grief by talking with a trusted friend or writing down your feelings in a journal. You could also use your creativity to paint or build something that puts your grief into perspective or honors your loved one’s memory.

Look for Ways to Honor Your Loved One’s Memory

Whether you choose to participate in Halloween or not, you can look for ways to remember your loved one. Did they do a Halloween Fun Run? Participate in their honor. Did they always dress up as a character from The Office? Make your own costume in remembrance. There are so many things you can do to remember a loved one’s life and bring a little peace and comfort to your own heart.

Person leaving a remembrance candle at a loved one's final resting place

Visit Your Loved One’s Final Resting Place

There are many benefits to visiting a loved one’s grave, especially that it provides a place to connect with your loved one. While you can visit the graveside any time of year, it may be meaningful to do so when the connection between life and death is so culturally strong. Holidays like All Souls Day and Dia de los Muertos (both immediately following Halloween) focus on remembering loved ones. Instead of leaning into the cultural norms of Halloween, focus on the act of remembrance instead.

As you prepare yourself mentally and emotionally for Halloween, may these suggestions help you navigate the complexities of your grief and find a way to honor your loved one’s life and memory at every time of year.

Sep 25
Love0
young boy hugging his grandparents as they smile at him

7 Questions to Ask When Estate Planning with Dependent Children

By Children, Estate Planning

None of us want to think about a time after we’re gone when our children, grandchildren, or other minor dependents may be on their own. But putting together an estate plan is an important step to ensure that your dependents are protected. Plus, having a plan for your dependents can give you peace of mind, knowing they’ll be cared for and provided for.

As you start estate planning with your dependents in mind, here are a few specific questions to consider:

1. Who would you want to have as your dependent’s guardian?

male guardian in light yellow shirt resting his hand on a teen boy's shoulder

Choosing a guardian is one of the most important steps to take when estate planning for your minor dependent. If something happens to you, someone will need to take care of your dependent. A guardian can be a family member or a friend.

As you decide who to name as a guardian, look for someone you trust who gets along with the child and can provide the level of care the child needs. Talk to the potential guardian and make sure they agree before you decide.

Once you know who your dependent’s guardian will be, you’ll need to officially nominate them as part of your will or a power of attorney. Talk to your estate planning attorney to determine which option is best for you.

2. What information does the guardian need to know?

paper cutout of a family in front of a gavel

Even if your chosen guardian is a close family member, there are many things about your minor that they may not know. And if your dependent is very young, they won’t be able to share important information, like their social security information or medical history, with their guardian.

That’s why keeping all important documents organized and in a safe place is important. You should securely store items like your minor dependent’s birth certificate, social security card, medical and vaccination records, and other important documents. Additionally, you may want to include information about their doctors, school records, and any allergies or other health issues.

You should also consider parts of your digital estate relating to your dependents, like any online school accounts, email addresses, or photo albums. Store passwords and login information for these in a secure location like a specific notebook or an online password manager.

As you gather this important information, consult your estate planning attorney to find out where to include information about the location of these documents in your estate plan.

3. Who should make decisions if you’re incapacitated?

red pen laying on a document that says power of attorney

Minor dependents cannot make legal or financial decisions if you become incapacitated. That’s why you need to plan ahead and make sure someone you trust can make those decisions. By creating a power of attorney, you can nominate a trusted person to make legal, financial, and medical decisions if you become incapacitated and cannot make decisions. If you wish, you can also create separate powers of attorney to nominate different people to make decisions in each area.

4. How should your dependent be provided for?

young woman outside holding a little girl on her back who has her arms outstretched like an airplane

When it comes to providing for your dependents financially, you have plenty of options! You can name your dependents as beneficiaries in your will, create a trust to split funds between dependents, or add your dependent as a secondary beneficiary of your life insurance.

However, remember that minors need a legal adult to serve as trustee over any money they inherit before turning 18. The trustee can be the same person you choose as their legal guardian or someone different, as long as it’s someone you trust to manage the inheritance.

What works for one family may not work for yours, so talk to your estate planning attorney to pick the right option for your family. They can also tell you how to nominate a trustee in your estate plan.

5. Do you have any specific requirements for your dependents or their guardian?

young boy hugging his grandparents as they smile at him

What requirements would you have for your minor dependents if something happened to you? Would you want your children to stay together in the same home? Do you want them to stay in the same area and attend the same school?

Think about the things that are non-negotiable for you and your family. Make sure to communicate with your chosen guardian about your wishes for your dependents. If some requirements are costly (e.g., if the guardian would need to move to a different area), consider setting aside extra funds to help cover that cost.

6. Does your dependent have any special needs?

woman smiling at a boy in a wheelchair on a beach

Children and adults with special needs or health concerns may require extra care. If this is the case for your dependent, make sure to consult with their potential guardian and make sure they’re up to the task – especially if your dependent with special needs will need care for the rest of their life.

Once you have guardianship sorted out, consider the costs of the care your dependent needs. One way to provide for their needs is to set up a special needs trust, which can help preserve your assets and ensure your dependent receives the care they need. Check with your estate planning attorney to learn about the requirements for special needs trusts and determine if this option is right for you.

7. How often should you update your estate plan?

person filling out a form by hand with a pen

As life changes, the needs of your family change, too, which means you’ll need to keep your estate plan up to date. Maybe you have a new significant other and want to nominate them as guardian now. Or maybe your financial situation changed and you want your assets distributed differently. In that case, you’ll need to talk to your attorney about updating your estate plan.

Additionally, life may change for your chosen guardian. They may get married, divorced, or have their own kids. Or, due to other changes, they may no longer feel able to care for your dependent. Every few years, or when a major change happens with your chosen guardian, check in with them and see if they still wish to be named as guardian.

Even if no major changes have happened in your life, you’ll still need to check your estate plan every few years to ensure everything matches your wishes.

As you make decisions about providing for your dependent, talk to your trusted friends, family members, and advisors about your choices. Everything is ultimately your decision, but don’t hesitate to ask for help or advice if needed. While making decisions about the future may seem daunting initially, once it’s done, you can rest easy knowing that a plan is in place to care for your dependents.

DISCLAIMER: Individual circumstances and state laws vary, so only undertake estate planning with the help and assistance of an attorney licensed in your state.

More Estate Planning Resources

Sep 10
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Why Does the Funeral Matter?

By Educational, Meaningful Funerals

Today, we live fast-paced lives focused on instant gratification, immediate responses, and constant stimulation. We fill our minds with a barrage of entertainment and distract ourselves with our devices. In such an environment, moments of silence are increasingly rare, and may even feel uncomfortable.

For many, having a funeral and honoring the sacred space of mourning feels foreign or inconvenient. We resist the idea of slowing down because if we slow down, we risk thinking about our own mortality, something we desperately wish to avoid. But despite our best efforts to minimize its impact, the funeral does matter. Let’s talk about why.

4 Reasons Why a Funeral Matters

Spray of white flowers on a casket at a funeral; pallbearers carrying casket

1. A funeral encourages us to respect the beauty of life

No matter how much we want to hide from it, avoid it, or try to get around it, death isn’t convenient. It’s painful. It forces us to consider the transience of life. It forces us to face our emotions. Dealing with death and loss is not supposed to be convenient or efficient. It takes time and intentionality to deal with death in a healthy way.

Going back to the earliest historical records, human beings have been using the funeral (in its various forms) to honor and remember the lives of loved ones. It doesn’t have to be extravagant or exhausting, but the service should give mourners time to reflect and grieve. With every life that is honored at its passing, we reaffirm the beauty and sanctity of life and the living.

Couple standing together, comforting each other, as they stand at a graveside service at a funeral

2. A funeral brings emotions to the surface and reduces the risk of complicated grief

If grief isn’t expressed at a time of loss, it has a way of coming back around later, sometimes with a vengeance. In some cases, unresolved grief can lead to complicated grief or even depression. Both of these mental health concerns are serious and require the assistance of a licensed mental health professional to overcome.

While ignoring grief may save you from short-term pain, it’s harmful in the end. Dr. Alan Wolfelt, a nationally respected grief educator and counselor, says:

“The pain of grief will keep trying to get your attention until you unleash your courage to gently, and in small doses, open to its presence. The alternative—denying or suppressing your pain—is in fact more painful. If you do not honor your grief by acknowledging it, it will accumulate and fester. So, you must ask yourself, ‘How will I host this loss? What do I intend to do with this pain? Will I befriend it, or will I make it my enemy?’”

By attending a funeral, memorial, or some type of service following the death of a loved one, you give yourself and other mourners a chance to release what’s pent up inside. When grief is allowed to be expressed in its proper time, complications tend to be reduced or alleviated.

Woman in black jacket holding an urn, remembering and honoring the life of a special person

3. A funeral provides the opportunity to say goodbye

In addition to reminding us about the sanctity of life and encouraging us to express ourselves, the funeral matters because it provides an opportunity to say goodbye. As human beings, we need some form of closure – some way to say goodbye and “I love you, I miss you” to those we have loved and lost.

The funeral provides an avenue for both family and friends to have that final opportunity to say what needs to be said, to see that special person’s face one more time, and to close the door on a beautiful chapter of life as they turn the page to see what the future holds. We all need to say goodbye, so we can face the challenges and changes of tomorrow.

Person in black jacket placing hand on a casket draped with an American flag

4. A funeral honors a loved one’s life and says they matter

And lastly, the funeral matters because your loved one’s life matters. Whether you do something simple or something elaborate, take time to celebrate who your loved one was. What did they enjoy doing? What were their lovable quirks? What did they mean to you? What are your favorite memories?

By adding customized stories and details to a final tribute, you get to say goodbye to them in a truly personal way. It’s not a hollow or meaningless service. It’s full of love, appreciation, remembrance, and a focus on the value your loved one brought to the world.

Woman holding white lilies at a funeral

What Does All This Mean?

So, what does all this mean? It means take time to slow down. Make time to mourn. You deserve the chance to express and work through your feelings. And your loved one deserves to have their life remembered and honored in a personal way.

While confronting death head-on can feel uncomfortable, respecting the dead makes us stronger people. We find greater resilience and the ability to navigate through the difficulties of life. At the funeral, we mourn. We come together and remember. In many ways, we forget our differences and heal old wounds. We honor sacred space and time, and we grow as individuals and as a society.

And remember, every funeral will look different. You can work with a trusted funeral professional to choose the type of service that best meets your loved one’s wishes and your family’s emotional needs. Whether that’s a formal Mass, a memorial service with cremated remains present, a graveside service, a celebration of life, or some other type of service entirely, the funeral matters because it helps you meaningfully honor, remember, and celebrate a unique person you deeply love.

Sep 09
Love0
Family member comforting a loved one who is experiencing depression; mature couple

Grief & Depression: What’s the Difference?

By Grief/Loss

After losing someone you love, you may experience a range of emotions, including sadness, confusion, disbelief, and perhaps even anxiety. But how do you know if you are experiencing normal grief or the beginnings of depression? Let’s talk about it.

Young man sitting on couch at home with hand on his face; experiencing grief & depression

What is Normal Grief?

Put simply, grief is your natural human response to the loss of someone or something you love. The emotions of grief vary greatly, but they are all normal responses to loss. As much as you may prefer not to feel or deal with these types of emotions, they are a healthy part of the grieving process.

The initial period of time just after a loss, when your emotions are unpredictable and you can’t concentrate on anything but the loss, is called acute grief. It’s the hard beginning of loss. However, in most cases, you soon move into integrated grief. This means that you have learned to accept the reality of the death, have found ways to cope and adapt to your new way of life, and have begun to hope again, finding renewed meaning and purpose in life. Moving from acute grief (initial feelings of loss) to integrated grief (a reconciliation to the loss) is a natural progression through the grief journey.

However, for some people, complications may arise, leading to either complicated grief or depression. (Click here to learn more about complicated grief.) But what is depression, how does it differ from grief, and how do you recognize it?

Mature woman sitting forlornly at home; looking out window; grief & depression

What is Depression?

According to the American Psychological Association, depression is “extreme sadness or despair that lasts more than days. Depression is the most common mental disorder. Fortunately, depression is treatable.”

In every source you look at, depression requires a diagnosis and does not appear to have an identifiable cause. It is a mental health concern that requires the assistance of a medical professional to diagnose and treat. This makes it quite different from grief – which is the emotional response you have to a loss – but how can you tell which is which? To help, let’s discuss symptoms to look out for with both grief and depression.

Man in khaki-colored clothing sitting quietly with cane

What Are the Symptoms?

To help you identify the difference between grief and depression, here’s a chart outlining similarities and differences between the two.

Who’s Susceptible to Grief & Depression?

Young woman sitting on couch with knees pulled to chest and arms crossed over knees; grief & depression

Grief

Every person on the planet is susceptible to grief and should consider it a healthy and natural response to loss. So, if you are experiencing grief, consider it good even when it doesn’t feel like it. Experiencing grief means that you are reacting normally to a death or other significant loss in your life. When you try to shut down or shut out grief, that’s where problems can arise. Instead, by facing the emotions you feel and the circumstances before you, you can begin to process what’s happened and take back some of the control you lost following the loss.

Depression

While anyone can experience depression, there are certain factors that increase the odds. (Note: These factors do not make depression inevitable; they just make you more susceptible.)

According to the World Health Organization, these factors include a history of abuse, severe losses in life, traumatic events, genetics, certain medications, age, and even gender. Women are more likely than men to experience depression, and there’s a higher percentage of depression in adults ages 60+. Again, anyone can experience depression at any point in their life, but if you fall into any of these specific categories, make sure you are honestly evaluating yourself when difficult events arise in your life. Identifying the early stages of depression will help you address it and move forward more quickly.

Should You Seek Help?

Older man in blue sweater sitting at home on his couch; looking out window; grief & depression

Grief

Most of the time, when you’re dealing with normal grief, you may be able to process through it on your own or with the help of friends and family. However, you know yourself best. If it would be best for you to talk things through with a grief therapist, do it! Do what needs to be done to help you work through the loss and avoid developing complicated grief and/or depression.

To help you do the work of grief and learn how to move forward after a loss, check out these helpful resources:

Two people sitting in a counseling session; dealing with grief & depression

Depression

If you suspect (even a little bit) that you may be experiencing depression, make an appointment with your doctor. In order to treat depression, you must work closely with mental health professionals to ensure you receive the best care. Depression is not something you can treat on your own; you will need help.

Common forms of treatment for depression are:

Your mental health professional will work with you to try out the treatments that work best for your personality and convictions. No treatment is undertaken without your consent, so you will have a say in which methods are utilized to help you conquer depression.

In addition to seeking treatment, here are additional coping strategies you can implement:

  • Stay in touch and socialize with friends and family
  • Be physically active
  • Face your fears; don’t avoid difficult things but work through them
  • Minimize or cease alcohol consumption
  • Eat a healthy, balanced diet
  • Stick to a routine that encourages good habits
  • Ask for help when you need it
  • Limit or set boundaries on things that deepen your feelings of depression

Family member comforting a loved one who is experiencing depression; mature couple

What Can Family and Friends Do to Help?

With depression, the best option is to speak with a professional, who can act as a guide through the entire journey toward recovery.

However, family and friends can do something to help!

If you are a friend or family member, offer your full and loving support to the person dealing with depression. Be there to talk. Be encouraging. Bring small gifts or tokens of your love. Actively listen and don’t interrupt. Plan positive activities, like taking a walk or doing something they’ve always enjoyed.

The depressed person doesn’t need you to try to fix them; they need you to accept them where they are right now. Be there for them. Realize that depression is difficult for both of you and the road to recovery may be long and difficult. But it is achievable! When we do the work, we can find a way to reconcile ourselves to loss and find new hope and meaning for the future.

Sep 05
Love0
Craftsperson using a chisel and mallet to carve a headstone

What Should I Write on a Headstone?

By Cemeteries, Explore Options, Planning Tools

A headstone or plaque doesn’t just mark someone’s final resting place. They also serve as symbols, reminders of the lost loved one, and ways to honor their memory. That’s why the epitaph, the words inscribed on a headstone, plaque, or memorial marker, is so important.

Epitaphs have a long history, but they have taken many forms over the years. They can be light-hearted and witty or inspirational and profound. All great epitaphs reflect the deceased’s spirit and put a unique, personalized touch on the marker. If you want to memorialize your loved one’s life in an interesting way or plan ahead for your own inscription, consider the following tips for creating a unique epitaph.

Brainstorm ideas

Person writing ideas for an epitaph in a notebook

To start, brainstorm a few ideas. Did your loved one have a signature saying? Was there a movie, book, or song that they loved? How would you describe their character and the life they lived? Write down anything that reminds you of your loved one to get your creativity flowing, even if you’re pretty sure you won’t use what you write.

Put yourself in your loved one’s shoes

Next, consider what your loved one would want on their epitaph. Would they prefer a light-hearted, humorous quote? Or one that moves people deeply and encourages them in daily life? Would they want their epitaph to talk about their personality, interests, hobbies, or role as a father, mother, or child? Look for options that would honor their preferences, priorities, and personality.

Consider your loved one’s principles, beliefs, and values

Plack that says "Known Unto God" surrounded by orange and yellow flowers

Was your loved one a person of faith? You may want to consider using their favorite Bible verse. Or was there a cause they were passionate about and dedicated their time to? Maybe you could mention that. You could also consider using a quote from a poem, song, or literary work. Whatever you choose, make sure it represents the individual’s life and what was most important to them.

Share their legacy

Alternatively, many epitaphs share a snapshot of the person’s legacy. You might see epitaphs like “Beloved wife, mother, and friend” or “He gave his life for his country.” These brief testaments highlight the impact the deceased made and can comfort those who come back year after year to visit the grave.

Keep it short

Craftsperson using a chisel and mallet to carve a headstone

The length of an epitaph will vary, but in most cases, it should be as compact as possible. Consider the amount of space you have available and the kind of material it will be inscribed on. Your funeral director or monument specialist can help answer your questions about your chosen monument or plaque. But in general, it’s best to keep the epitaph short.

Think big picture

The epitaph is an opportunity to communicate a message to people who will visit your loved one for years to come. For this reason, it’s important to decide on an epitaph that will stand the test of time. Consider something with a long-standing appeal and try to avoid fads or a cultural reference that may fade into obscurity as the years go by. The choice is ultimately up to you and your family, though!

Get feedback

Headstone that says "In Loving Memory" on it

After you’ve settled on a few options you like, get feedback from other family members. Your family may have preferences about what goes on your loved one’s marker, so get their input before deciding on the epitaph. For example, if the epitaph is for a parent, ensure all your siblings are on board with the decision. Once everyone agrees, you’re ready to go!

As you consider what to put on your loved one’s grave, don’t be afraid to think outside the box! You could include their signature recipe or use a QR code that links to a memorial website. No matter what you choose, focus on picking something personalized that truly reflects your loved one’s life.

Aug 29
Love0
Mourners attending a service, placing hands on casket in remembrance

5 Ways Funerals Today Aren’t One-Size-Fits-All

By Educational, Meaningful Funerals, Plan Ahead

Mourners attending a service, placing hands on casket in remembrance

Starting in the mid-1800s, there was a shift in funeral care. This shift was mainly due to the influence of Queen Victoria’s mourning practices on the Western World and the rise of embalming after the assassination of President Abraham Lincoln. The expectation for funerals came to include embalming, a viewing and visitation, service, funeral procession, graveside service, as well as a headstone.

While many people today still choose a traditional funeral as outlined above, things have changed in the last 150+ years. Now, funerals aren’t one-size-fits-all. You get to make more choices regarding how you want your life remembered and celebrated.

So, let’s talk about 5 key ways that you get to choose what’s right for you.

Mature mourners attending a funeral service with casket

1. Choose Your Service

One way you can customize the funeral to fit your needs and personality is by choosing the type of service you want. For example, would you like a traditional funeral service? Or perhaps you’d prefer a memorial service after cremation has taken place? Would you like a viewing or a visitation? If so, would it be a private event or a public event? Alternatively, you might prefer to have your ashes scattered in a special place by the people closest to you.

While the options mentioned above are for the sake of example, you can talk with your family and a trusted local funeral home to better understand all of the possibilities. Then, with that information in hand, you can put your funeral plans in writing so that your loved ones know exactly how to honor your life after you’re gone.

For more resources on the types of services you could select, check out the articles below:

Mourner holding a white flower while standing near an urn and memorial candles

2. Choose Your Disposition

The two most common forms of final disposition in the United States are burial and cremation. While there are pros and cons to each, the choice is up to you. With burial, you can choose traditional burial with or without embalming, or you can opt for green burial. Similarly, with cremation, you can choose cremation by heat or by water.

When deciding which to choose, make sure you consider your family’s needs and your own personal convictions. For example, someone who wants to leave a smaller environmental impact could choose green burial or water cremation, the two options with the smallest footprint. However, if having a viewing is essential to your family or religious needs, you might choose have one before burial or cremation takes place.  It’s entirely up to you and your family.

A few lesser used forms of disposition are burial at sea, recomposition burial (only available in select states), or body donation to science. For more information about all of these forms of final disposition, check out the resources below:

Woman on her knees visiting a loved one's grave

3. Choose Your Final Resting Place

Next up is choosing your final resting place. Not only can you personally choose the cemetery, but you also decide what kind of placement you want. With burial, you could opt for a single or double plot, a mausoleum, or even an above-ground crypt, to name a few. The cemetery may even have options like choosing a plot near a pond, a bench, or a lovely view.

On the other hand, with cremation, you could choose placement in a columbarium, a glass-front niche, scattering (at a cemetery or a special place), or even urn burial. Depending on the cemetery, there may be other options available. And if you are a veteran, there are national and state veteran cemeteries to consider as well as veterans’ burial benefits.

For more information about choosing a final resting place, check out the resources below and start talking with cemeteries in your area. You can consider the options available at each one and decide which works best for you.

Lit memorial candles at a church or service; funerals aren't one-size-fits-all

4. Choose Your Personalized Details

Personalization is perhaps the best way to create a truly unique final tribute. Special touches and custom details tailor the service to tell the story of your particular life and its events. There are so many ways to personalize the funeral. Just think – weddings, birthday parties, anniversary celebrations, they all look different because they are custom to the people being celebrated. The same personalization can be true for any funeral or memorial service.

When adding meaningful details, there are a number of things to consider. You could add personalized music, readings, symbols, actions, or choose a unique location. You could also include photos, a memorial tribute video, or serve the deceased’s favorite foods at the reception.

The options are truly endless, so check out these resources and then discuss personalization with a trusted funeral director. They will brainstorm with you, discuss the possibilities, and work to make them a reality.

Older couple sitting at home, using a calculator to determine cost; funerals aren't one-size-fits-all

5. Choose Your Budget

One important aspect of the funeral that’s in your hands is cost. While you can’t control the cost of materials, merchandise, and services, you do get to decide which ones you want. The Federal Trade Commission requires that every funeral home have a General Price List that outlines all of their services and merchandise. With this list, you can pick and choose what you want and ensure that the cost of the funeral stays within your budget.

Plus, at a good funeral home, the staff will work with you to create a personalized plan that fits your needs. So, go to the funeral home with a realistic range of what you are willing to spend on a service, and they will work with you to honor that. If they push you toward the most expensive options, that’s a warning sign that you should find another funeral home to partner with.

Mature couple sitting in the comfort of their home talking to a preplanning specialist; funerals aren't one-size-fits-all

Next Steps: Record Your Wishes for the Future

And one final thing that must be included is the importance of writing down your wishes once you’ve made decisions. It doesn’t do your family any good if you’ve decided what you want but never communicate it. Thankfully, planning ahead (also known as preplanning or advance funeral planning) is very common and can take an incredible weight off your family’s shoulders. Simply make an appointment at your chosen funeral home to get started. With your funeral plans written down, your family will have a roadmap to understanding what you want. Otherwise, they may be left scrambling after the loss, not sure what to choose.

Also, if you wish, you can pay in advance or set up a funeral insurance policy to cover the total cost. Alternatively, you can set aside funds in your personal accounts or use a life insurance policy. However, keep in mind, setting aside enough funds may be difficult due to rising costs and inflation. And with life insurance policies, funds may not be available for 6-8 weeks. This means your family may need to pay out of pocket for any funeral services and be reimbursed later.

To learn more about the benefits of planning ahead and how to pay for a funeral, check out the resources here:

By writing down your funeral wishes, you can communicate your personalized preferences to those you love. And with that information, they can make sure that your final tribute isn’t one-size-fits-all. It’s the size that uniquely fits YOU.

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