Plan Ahead Archives - Funeral Basics

Apr 16

Spray of white flowers resting on a casket covered in an American flag

Test Your Knowledge about Veterans’ Burial Benefits

By christy.kessler Plan Ahead, Veterans

Among veterans, there are a lot of misconceptions about veterans’ burial benefits. How much does the VA pay toward a veteran’s funeral? Which benefits is my spouse eligible to receive? What are the eligibility requirements?

This confusion is understandable. Most service men and women don’t really get a good explanation of what burial benefits they are eligible for due to their service in the Armed Forces. Some veterans assume they know what they will receive, and they plan based on misconceptions. Unfortunately, at the time of death, these misconceptions can make a difficult time even more complicated for surviving family members.

Today, take a moment to test your knowledge of veterans’ benefits by reviewing the questions below.

Spray of white flowers resting on a casket covered in an American flag

Will the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) pay for a veteran’s funeral in full?

No, the VA will not pay for a veteran’s funeral in full. This applies to both cremation services and traditional funerals. However, the VA does provide a specified amount, called a burial allowance. The burial allowance amount varies based on several factors, including whether or not the death was service-related, if the veteran was hospitalized at the VA, when the death occurred, and where the veteran has chosen to be buried.

Am I automatically eligible for burial benefits simply because I was once in the Armed Forces?

No, there are eligibility requirements that a veteran must meet to qualify for burial and funeral benefits.

Will my family receive funds from the government in advance of the funeral?

In most cases, your family will receive a reimbursement from the VA. Your family should keep track of all receipts and submit them, along with an application, to the VA. Once the application is processed and approved, your family will receive the determined reimbursement.

Bugler in uniform saluting in a national cemetery

Are there cases where the VA pays nothing toward a veteran’s funeral?

Yes. A veteran is not eligible for standard burial benefits if they 1) received a dishonorable discharge, 2) died during active military service (where different regulations apply), 3) were a member of Congress and died while holding office, or 4) were a federal prisoner.

If a spouse predeceases the veteran, can that spouse be buried at a national cemetery?

As a matter of fact, yes, the spouse can (this must be a legal spouse and does not apply to any former spouses). This benefit applies to a living veteran’s dependents as well.

Who is eligible for burial in a national cemetery?

With some restrictions and eligibility requirements:

Veterans and members of the Armed Forces (Army, Navy, Air Force, Marine Corps, Coast Guard, Space Force)
Members of Reserve Components and Reserve Officers’ Training Corps
Commissioned Officers from both the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration and the Public Health Service
World War II Merchant Mariners
Some Philippine Armed Forces veterans
Spouses and dependents of veterans
Parents of veterans
Others who receive specific approval from the Secretary of Veterans Affairs

Can you reserve a national cemetery gravesite in advance?

You cannot select a specific gravesite plot, but your family can complete advance funeral planning arrangements. The benefit to advance planning is that when the death occurs, the VA merely re-verifies any previously submitted documentation. The surviving family does not need to contact the VA directly, but instead, can work in partnership with their chosen funeral home to plan a meaningful service.

What does the VA provide for veterans buried in a national cemetery?

Burial in any open VA national cemetery is available to eligible veterans. This includes, at no cost to the family:

Opening/closing of the grave
A grave liner
Perpetual care of the gravesite
Headstone or marker

Additionally, veterans are also eligible for a burial flag and the Presidential Memorial Certificate.

Folded American flag sitting on a closed casket

What does the VA provide for veterans buried in a private cemetery?

Eligible veterans may receive a burial allowance as well as a government-issued headstone (or marker or medallion), a burial flag, and a Presidential Memorial Certificate. However, any spouses or dependents buried in a private cemetery receive no benefits.

Does the VA pay for cremation services?

Not specifically, but they do provide a burial allowance for eligible families. The family pays for any funeral costs (including embalming, a memorial service, a casket or an urn, etc.) at their own expense. Then, the family can apply for the burial allowance reimbursement to help toward the overall cost, if eligible.

Both cremated and casketed remains buried or inurned at a national cemetery receive the same honors. As with a traditional funeral, the VA will provide a space for burial or inurnment, perpetual care, a marker, a burial flag, and a Presidential Memorial Certificate.

Does the VA provide burial at sea?

No, they do not, but you can contact the United States Navy Mortuary Affairs office toll-free at 1-833-330-6622 with questions.

Six American flags waving in the breeze against a blue sky

What is the Avenue of Flags?

In some national cemeteries, the Avenue of Flags (or the Avenue of Remembrance) is an everyday feature, while in others, it is reserved for special days of the year (like Veterans Day or Memorial Day). Flags upon flags line the main pathways of the cemetery, each one representing and honoring a life lived in service to the United States.

In many cases, the flags flying are burial flags. On the day of a veteran’s funeral, the family receives a burial flag, and some families choose to donate the flag to the cemetery to honor their loved one’s memory. The flags create a solemn and reverent atmosphere for those who served our country well. Contact the national cemetery of your choice to ask questions about donating a flag.

How many answers did you get correct? Hopefully, you’ve learned something you didn’t know and can adjust your plans with that knowledge.

For more information about veterans’ burial benefits, check out the resources below.

5 Key Veteran Burial Benefits You Should Know
Everything You Need to Know About Government-Issued Veteran Headstones
A State-by-State Guide to National Cemeteries for Veterans
Veterans’ Burial Benefits Checklist
Top 4 Misunderstandings Around Veterans’ Burial Benefits
Why Should Veterans Plan Ahead?

Mar 24

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Large, beautiful tree in a national cemetery

A State-by-State Guide to National Cemeteries for Veterans

By christy.kessler Cemeteries, Explore Options, Plan Ahead, Veterans

Did you know that many veterans and their dependents are eligible for free burial in a national cemetery? It’s true! While there are eligibility requirements, the National Cemetery Administration maintains 156 national cemeteries in 42 states and Puerto Rico. If you are interested in burial or inurnment at a national cemetery, it’s a very real option for you!

A Few Things to Keep in Mind

Here are a few things to keep in mind if you decide to pursue this veteran benefit:

In order to qualify, you must meet the VA’s eligibility requirements and only eligible dependents (such as a spouse) may be considered for burial in a national cemetery.
Your preferred cemetery may not have space available. If that’s the case, reach out to secondary locations or look into a state veterans cemetery instead. Your chosen funeral director can help you better understand the options available to you.
Some national cemeteries are closed to new interments unless you are related to a veteran or spouse already buried there. For example, if your veteran spouse is already buried there, you as the dependent spouse can request burial in the same cemetery even if it’s not open to new interments. The cemetery may not be able to accommodate you, but it doesn’t hurt to ask. In many cases, they can accommodate.
There are several states currently without a national cemetery. They are Connecticut, Delaware, New Hampshire, Rhode Island, and Vermont. New national cemeteries are currently under construction in Utah and Nevada, and each one will be the first national cemetery in its state.

With this information in mind, here’s a listing of the national cemeteries across the United States that are still open to new interments. If you are interested in funeral preplanning, the VA can work with you and your chosen funeral home to get your plans in place.

National Cemeteries Across the United States

Prescott National Cemetery – Prescott, AZ (cremation only)

Arkansas

Fayetteville National Cemetery – Fayetteville, AR

Fort Smith National Cemetery – Fort Smith, AR

California

Bakersfield National Cemetery – Arvin, CA

Los Angeles National Cemetery – Los Angeles, CA (cremation only)

Miramar National Cemetery – San Diego, CA

Riverside National Cemetery – Riverside, CA

Sacramento Valley National Cemetery – Dixon, CA

San Joaquin Valley National Cemetery – Santa Nella, CA

Colorado

Fort Logan National Cemetery – Denver, CO

Fort Lyon National Cemetery – Las Animas, CO

Pikes Peak National Cemetery – Colorado Springs, CO

Florida

Barrancas National Cemetery – Pensacola, FL

Bay Pines National Cemetery – St. Petersburg, FL (cremation only)

Cape Canaveral National Cemetery – Mims, FL

Florida National Cemetery – Bushnell, FL

Jacksonville National Cemetery – Jacksonville, FL

Sarasota National Cemetery – Sarasota, FL

South Florida National Cemetery – Lake Worth, FL

Tallahassee National Cemetery – Tallahassee, FL

Georgia

Georgia National Cemetery – Canton, GA

Hawaii

National Memorial Cemetery of the Pacific – Honolulu, HI

Idaho

Snake River Canyon National Cemetery – Buhl, ID

Illinois

Abraham Lincoln National Cemetery – Elwood, IL

Camp Butler National Cemetery – Springfield, IL

Danville National Cemetery – Danville, IL

Fort Sheridan National Cemetery – Sheridan, IL (cremation only)

Mound City National Cemetery – Mound City, IL

Rock Island National Cemetery – Rock Island, IL

Indiana

Crown Hill National Cemetery Annex – Indianapolis, IN (cremation only)

Marion National Cemetery – Marion, IN

New Albany National Cemetery – New Albany, IN (cremation only)

Iowa

Keokuk National Cemetery – Keokuk, IA

Kansas

Fort Leavenworth National Cemetery – Fort Leavenworth, KS (cremation only)

Fort Scott National Cemetery – Fort Scott, KS

Leavenworth National Cemetery – Leavenworth, KS

Kentucky

Camp Nelson National Cemetery – Nicholasville, KY

Lebanon National Cemetery – Lebanon, KY

Mill Springs National Cemetery – Nancy, KY

Louisiana

Louisiana National Cemetery – Zachary, LA

Port Hudson National Cemetery – Zachary, LA (cremation only)

Maine

Acadia National Cemetery – Jonesboro, ME

Maryland

Baltimore National Cemetery – Baltimore, MD (cremation only)

Massachusetts

Massachusetts National Cemetery – Bourne, MA

Michigan

Fort Custer National Cemetery – Augusta, MI

Great Lakes National Cemetery – Holly, MI

Minnesota

Fort Snelling National Cemetery – Minneapolis, MN

Mississippi

Biloxi National Cemetery – Biloxi, MS

Corinth National Cemetery – Corinth, MS

Natchez National Cemetery – Natchez, MS

Missouri

Jefferson Barracks National Cemetery – St. Louis, MO

Springfield National Cemetery – Springfield, MO

Montana

Yellowstone National Cemetery – Laurel, MT

Nebraska

Fort McPherson National Cemetery – Maxwell, NE

Omaha National Cemetery – Omaha, NE

Nevada

Elko National Cemetery – Elko, NV (currently unavailable; under construction)

New Jersey

Finn’s Point National Cemetery – Pennsville, NJ (cremation only)

New Mexico

Fort Bayard National Cemetery – Fort Bayard, NM

Santa Fe National Cemetery – Santa Fe, NM

New York

Bath National Cemetery – Bath, NY

Calverton National Cemetery – Calverton, NY

Gerald B.H. Solomon Saratoga National Cemetery – Schuylerville, NY

Long Island National Cemetery – Farmingdale, NY (cremation only)

St. Albans National Cemetery – Queens, NY (currently unavailable; under construction)

Western New York National Cemetery – Corfu, NY

Woodlawn National Cemetery – Elmira, NY (cremation only)

North Carolina

Salisbury National Cemetery – Salisbury, NC

North Dakota

Fargo National Cemetery – Harwood, ND

Ohio

Dayton National Cemetery – Dayton, OH

Ohio Western Reserve National Cemetery – Seville, OH

Oklahoma

Fort Gibson National Cemetery – Fort Gibson, OK

Fort Sill National Cemetery – Elgin, OK

Oregon

Eagle Point National Cemetery – Eagle Point, OR

Fort Stevens National Cemetery – Hammond, OR

Roseburg National Cemetery – Roseburg, OR

Willamette National Cemetery – Portland, OR

Pennsylvania

Indiantown Gap National Cemetery – Annville, PA

National Cemetery of the Alleghenies – Bridgeville, PA

Washington Crossing National Cemetery – Newtown, PA

Puerto Rico

Puerto Rico National Cemetery – Bayamon, PR (cremation only)

Morovis National Cemetery – Morovis, PR

South Carolina

Beaufort National Cemetery – Beaufort, SC

Florence National Cemetery – Florence, SC

Fort Jackson National Cemetery – Columbia, SC

South Dakota

Black Hills National Cemetery – Sturgis, SD

Tennessee

Chattanooga National Cemetery – Chattanooga, TN

Knoxville National Cemetery – Knoxville, TN (cremation only)

Memphis National Cemetery – Memphis, TN (cremation only)

Mountain Home National Cemetery – Mountain Home, TN

Nashville National Cemetery – Madison, TN (cremation only)

Texas

Dallas-Fort Worth National Cemetery – Dallas, TX

Fort Bliss National Cemetery – El Paso, TX

Fort Sam Houston National Cemetery – San Antonio, TX

Houston National Cemetery – Houston, TX

San Antonio National Cemetery – San Antonio, TX (cremation only)

Utah

Southern Utah National Cemetery – Cedar City, UT (currently unavailable; under construction)

Virginia

Culpeper National Cemetery – Culpeper, VA

Danville National Cemetery – Danville, VA (cremation only)

National Memorial Cemetery at Quantico – Triangle, VA

Washington

Tahoma National Cemetery – Kent, WA

Vancouver Barracks National Cemetery – Vancouver, WA

West Virginia

West Virginia National Cemetery – Grafton, WV

Wisconsin

Northwoods National Cemetery – Harshaw, WI

Wyoming

Cheyenne National Cemetery – Cheyenne, WY

If you’d like more information about veterans’ burial benefits, visit the Veterans Affairs website or check out these helpful resources:

Mar 12

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Woman in blue sweater sitting at table in her kitchen as she looks at estate planning documents

5 Steps to Getting Your Affairs in Order

By christy.kessler Estate Planning, Plan Ahead

While getting your affairs in order may feel like a daunting task, it makes the grieving process and closing out an estate much easier for surviving children and heirs. They won’t have to untangle any accounts or wonder how you wanted your property or assets distributed. Instead, they can focus on grieving, supporting each other, and remembering the relationship you shared.

And yes, the process of putting your affairs in order will take time, but there’s good news! Below, you will find a checklist of important documents to gather as well as guidance regarding other estate planning topics you should consider. Let’s get started.

Step 1: Gather Important Information

The information and documents listed below will apply to most families. However, there may be additional documents that are important to your specific family. The list below is an excellent starting place and covers the vast majority of what you will need. However, take time to sit down and think through your situation. You may find more documents to include.

Checklist

Full legal name
Social Security number/card
Address of legal residence
Date and place of birth
Names and addresses of spouse and children
Birth and death certificates and certificates of marriage, divorce, citizenship, and adoption (whichever are applicable)
Employers and dates of employment
Education and military records
Names and phone numbers of religious contacts (if applicable)
Names and phone numbers of close friends, relatives, doctors, lawyers, and financial advisors
Medications taken regularly (keep this updated!)
Location of living will and other legal documents
Sources of income and assets (pension from your employer, IRAs, 401(k)s, interest, royalties, etc.)
Social Security and Medicare/Medicaid information
Insurance information (life, health, long-term care, home, etc.) with policy numbers and agents’ names and phone numbers
Copy of your most recent income tax return
Location of your most up-to-date legal will with an original signature
Liabilities, including property tax
Mortgages and debts
Location of original deed of trust for home
Car title and registration
Credit and debit card names and numbers
Location of safe deposit box and key

Special note: It’s important to keep your documents safe, especially in the face of natural disasters. One way to keep your documents safe is to purchase a fire and water secure case. But whatever you choose, find a way to keep your documents secure and accessible in case of emergency.

Step 2: Consider Estate Planning

Estate planning is about ensuring that your wishes regarding your estate are carried out. While most of us don’t have a literal estate with a grand manor and a stable full of horses, we do all have an “estate.” In legal terms, an estate consists of everything you own – car, home, other real estate, bank accounts, investment accounts, 401(k)s, insurance policies, furniture, personal possessions, and even pets.

By determining what your wishes are, who will receive what and when, and who is responsible for executing your legal will, you participate in estate planning. If you are interested in estate planning, please review the questions below and determine if you have taken care of them fully.

1. Do you have a legal will?

Writing a legal will is one of the best things you can do for your family. To reduce the risk of misunderstandings, heartache, and the possible headache of taking your estate through probate court, it’s best if you clearly outline who gets what and when. If there is no legal will, the state may determine the distribution of your property and assets. So, if you don’t have a legal will, your assets may not go to your heirs, depending on your state’s current regulations. If you would like to write a legal will, first talk with an attorney or try out a web service that specializes in legal documents.

2. If you do have a legal will, have you appointed an executor? And does your chosen executor have access to and know where to find all of your important documents?

Above all, the executor of your will should be someone you trust. They will carry out the wishes outlined in your legal will to the letter.

3. Have you named your beneficiaries?

Beneficiaries are the people or organizations that will receive your assets and/or property after your death. In general, it is good practice to double-check your beneficiaries every few years. This includes beneficiaries on your legal will and on any life insurance policies you may have with the purpose of ensuring everything still reflects your wishes. Double-checking beneficiaries is especially important with blended families as divorce or remarriage could change your chosen beneficiaries. To learn more, read “Estate Planning for the Blended Family.”

4. Do you want or need a trust?

If you are unfamiliar with trusts, they are similar to a will. Both a will and a trust are meant to spell out your wishes regarding assets and property. The main difference between the two is that a will is effective only after you die and then must be probated (carried out) by the court system and your chosen executor. On the other hand, in the case of a trust, there is no need to go through the court system – your successor trustee (aka the executor) will carry out your wishes after your death as they are written in the trust.

Additionally, with a trust, your successor trustee can manage your financial, healthcare, or legal affairs if you become incapacitated while you’re living. Talk with an estate planner to see if this option is right for you. Typically, a trust is helpful for those with a large number of assets and property.

5. Have you considered your digital estate?

If you have used an email account, a networking website, or bought items online, you have a digital estate. It’s just as important to determine the future of your digital estate as your physical estate. For suggestions on how to manage your digital estate, please read “8 Tips for Managing Your Digital Estate” or “How to Make Digital Estate Planning Simple.”

6. Do you have any dependents (including pets)? Have you made your wishes clear regarding their well-being?

Most people know that they should indicate who will care for their dependents once they are gone. However, pets are also an important part of the family, and while we love them dearly, sometimes we overlook them in the estate planning process. To that end, make sure to include any veterinary documentation in your important paperwork and outline who should take over the care of your beloved animals.

Step 3: Look Into Advance Funeral Planning

No matter your level of interest, funeral planning needs to be on your list of things to do as you get your affairs in order. By writing down your funeral preferences ahead of time, you give your family a roadmap to honoring your life. Having this roadmap will take a burden off their shoulders and allow them to focus on loving and supporting each other.

For additional information on advance funeral planning, click on the links below:

Step 4: Write Out Your Advance Care Directives (ACD)

In short, an advance care directive (ACD) ensures that, if you become incapacitated, your medical wishes are known and fulfilled. Two documents, the living will and the healthcare power of attorney, make up an ACD. Sit down with your doctor and those closest to you and discuss what your wishes are regarding medical care. For more information regarding preparation of your advance care directives, read “Developing Your Advance Care Directive.”

Step 5: Keep It Current

Once you have your affairs in order, keep them up-to-date and current, especially your legal documents, beneficiary information, and most recent tax return. Make sure to appoint a new executor if the one you have currently chosen moves away or is unable to fulfill his or her duties. If you move, update your current address on all your documents, policies, accounts, and assets. At the beginning, it’s quite an undertaking to gather all the information. But, once it’s together, updating is simple.

Also, you might consider holding a family meeting to go over your wishes and your estate. For some families, this may not be pleasant or even possible. But if you can schedule it, a family meeting is an excellent time to let everyone know how your assets are going to be distributed. By being proactive, you can answer questions, set expectations, and hopefully, prevent any family disagreements over your final wishes.

DISCLAIMER: Individual circumstances and state laws vary, so only undertake estate planning with the help and assistance of an attorney licensed in your state.

Oct 09

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What is a Healthcare Power of Attorney?

By Courtney Cook Estate Planning, Plan Ahead

When it comes to estate planning, there are many documents that cover different areas of your life, like healthcare, finances, and funeral wishes. One such document that plays a vital role in supporting your healthcare wishes is the healthcare power of attorney, also known as a medical power of attorney or a durable power of attorney for healthcare.

But what exactly is a medical power of attorney, and why do you need one? Let’s learn more about this important document!

What does a healthcare power of attorney do?

A power of attorney authorizes someone else, often called an agent, to make decisions on your behalf. There are different types of power of attorney. A general power of attorney nominates one agent who can act on your behalf in all financial, legal, and medical areas. However, if you wish to nominate someone different for each area, you’ll need to explore limited powers of attorney.

That’s where a healthcare power of attorney comes in! A healthcare power of attorney serves as one piece of your advance care directive, a set of documents that lays out the medical care you wish to receive. You can use this type of power of attorney to nominate someone you trust as a healthcare proxy. A healthcare proxy or agent will make medical decisions for you if you cannot communicate.

Remember that the medical power of attorney only names the person you wish to be your proxy and doesn’t outline your wishes. You’ll need to create a living will to document your wishes. Once you’ve documented your wishes, you can share them with your healthcare proxy so they know what decisions to make.

Who can I nominate as my healthcare proxy?

While every state has its own regulations regarding healthcare proxies, in most cases, your proxy must be over 18. Most people nominate their spouse or a family member, but you can nominate anyone you trust, like a close friend or your lawyer. It’s highly recommended not to select your healthcare provider as your proxy.

As you consider who to select as your healthcare proxy, look for someone you feel comfortable communicating your wishes to. Your proxy should be someone you trust to follow your wishes, even if they don’t agree with them. Consider choosing someone who lives nearby or would be willing to travel to you if a situation arises.

Before adding your potential proxy to your power of attorney, talk to them about your wishes and ask them if they feel comfortable serving in this role. Keep in mind that a healthcare proxy is not the same as a guardian. If you don’t have a power of attorney in place when you are incapacitated, a court may appoint a guardian to act on your behalf. A healthcare proxy is only responsible for medical decisions, while a guardian can also make financial and legal decisions.

When does the healthcare power of attorney take effect?

Your healthcare proxy will only step in if you are incapacitated or unable to communicate. If you go into a coma or vegetative state, have an issue arise while under anesthesia, or are unable to speak, move, or write after a stroke or an accident, your healthcare proxy will make decisions on your behalf. Your proxy may make medical decisions if you are in the late stages of Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia.

As long as you are conscious, of sound mind, and able to communicate, you will have decision-making power, and your healthcare power of attorney will not be used.

What decisions can my healthcare proxy make?

If your healthcare power of attorney comes into effect, your proxy will have the authority to make medical decisions. This includes decisions about the care you receive, like surgeries, treatments, medication, pain relief, CPR, and more.

Additionally, your proxy can determine which healthcare providers and physicians you use. Your proxy also has authority over what facilities you visit for treatment, including nursing homes or assisted living facilities. They may make decisions about comfort care, hospice, mental health treatment, and organ donation as well.

In many cases, your healthcare proxy will need to coordinate with the agent you have listed on your financial power of attorney to ensure that medical costs can be covered. While your healthcare proxy should follow your living will, they aren’t legally required to. They may also need to make decisions about medical issues that aren’t mentioned in your living will.

How do I create a healthcare power of attorney?

While many online resources can help you create your healthcare power of attorney, the best course of action is to consult an estate planning lawyer. Each state has different regulations, and a lawyer can ensure your power of attorney is valid.

When creating your power of attorney, you must be of sound mind. Some states require you to have witnesses when you sign the form, while others require the document to be notarized. Depending on your state’s regulations, you may also need to have your proxy sign the forms.

Once your healthcare power of attorney is created, give a copy to your proxy and your medical provider. Keep the original document in a secure location, along with your other estate planning documents.

Can I revise my healthcare power of attorney?

Yes, you can! In fact, as your circumstances change, it’s important to keep your healthcare power of attorney up to date. Whether you move to a new state or want to change your proxy, you can change your power of attorney. Just like when you write your power of attorney, you must be of sound mind to change the document.

If you do make changes to your healthcare power of attorney, make sure to revoke or cancel your previous version. Depending on your state’s regulations and your specific situation, you may need to sign a revocation letter or include a clause in your new power of attorney revoking prior powers of attorney. Don’t forget to inform all pertinent parties (like your healthcare provider and proxy) of the change. It’s also a good idea to destroy any previous copies to prevent confusion.

As you make decisions about your medical wishes and healthcare proxy, don’t be afraid to ask for help from people you trust. And if there’s anything you’re unsure about, don’t hesitate to contact a local estate planning attorney. They can ensure that your wishes are documented in a valid way.

DISCLAIMER: Individual circumstances and state laws vary, so any estate planning should only be undertaken with the help and assistance of an attorney licensed in your state.

Oct 04

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Woman in mustard yellow cardigan sitting at table, signing documents

Understanding the Living Will & Why It Matters

By christy.kessler Educational, Estate Planning

When planning ahead for the future (even the far future), it’s important to make sure you cover all the bases. That means making decisions about your physical estate, digital estate, funeral plans, and medical care preferences. Today, we’ll discuss the living will and how it helps your family understand your treatment preferences in a medical emergency or life-threatening situation.

What is a Living Will?

First, let’s define the term “living will.” Sometimes confused with the “last will and testament,” the living will has a separate purpose: to communicate your preferences regarding life-prolonging medical treatment. Essentially, the living will spells out the medical treatments you would or would not want used to keep you alive. It provides direction on life-prolonging procedures, treatment for terminal conditions, and vegetative state conditions.

For example, if a person has no brain function after a serious car accident, they might not want to be kept alive with a ventilator. The living will is the document where that person would indicate they do not want a ventilator used to prolong their life under these circumstances.

You can create a living will at any age. And the living will only comes into play if you are in a life-threatening situation and are incapacitated and unable to make decisions for yourself. If you are awake and coherent, the doctors will ask you directly about your care and not consult the living will.

Why Would I Create a Living Will?

In cases where a person is unconscious or incapacitated (coma, dementia, brain damage) and is suffering from a terminal illness or life-threatening injury, doctors consult the living will. However, if there’s no living will available, all medical care questions are posed to the spouse, family members, or designated healthcare proxy.

The main reasons to have a living will are four-fold:

Make your medical preferences known to your family, loved ones, and doctors
Relieve your family from having to make difficult medical decisions on your behalf
Reduce confusion or disagreements regarding your medical care
Protect your loved ones from the emotional toll of taking on the responsibility of deciding your life or death

By creating a living will, you decide what’s best for you. In a sense, even in a dire situation, you can still control what happens to you.

What Medical Decisions Should I Address in the Living Will?

You can address whatever medications or treatments you want in the living will, but here are some things you should consider mentioning:

CPR (cardiopulmonary resuscitation)
Mechanical ventilation
Tube feeding
Dialysis
Antibiotics or antiviral medications
Palliative care or pain management
Hospice care
Organ and tissue donation
Donation of body to science
Surgical interventions
Pacemaker or ICDs
Brain damage

As you consider your options, remember that you are only recording your wishes for emergency medical situations where you are incapacitated or unable to make decisions yourself.

If you aren’t sure what the pros and cons are of each type of treatment, schedule time with your primary care physician to discuss the implications of each. Also, try not to make decisions without input from others. Include your spouse, partner, or close family members in the discussion.

How Do I Write a Living Will?

Many states provide a template you can use to record your medical care preferences, but if that isn’t an option, contact an estate planning attorney. They will be familiar with your state’s specific laws and can ensure all your bases are covered.

However, here are a few things to keep in mind as you consider writing a living will:

Think about your personal values. Would you want treatment only if a cure were possible? Do you want medical professionals to do everything they can to save your life?
Consider your family’s wishes about each type of medical treatment.
Take your religious beliefs into account. For some people, religious tenets may dictate the types of care they choose to receive.
Many states require you to sign the living will before witnesses or a notary. Talk with an estate planning attorney or familiarize yourself with your state’s requirements.
List your healthcare proxy’s name and contact information if you have one. This person makes medical decisions on your behalf, using your living will as a guide. Click here to learn more about how to set up a healthcare proxy.
Your living will must be in writing to be legally valid.
If you choose to use a living will template, make sure to download the one intended for your state.

As you consider what to include in your living will, remember that you won’t think of every possible medical emergency. Instead of trying to plan for every scenario, address what you can and trust your healthcare proxy or your family’s judgment regarding any unexpected scenarios.

What Do I Do with My Living Will Once It’s Complete?

Once your living will is signed and witnessed, it’s time to distribute it to all the pertinent people. You will want to:

Keep the original in a safe but easily accessible place.
Give a copy to your primary care physician.
Give a copy to your healthcare proxy if you have one.
Discuss your medical decisions with family if you haven’t already.
Consider carrying a wallet-sized card that indicates you have a living will and identifying your healthcare proxy by name and contact information.
Keep a copy with you when you are traveling.

How Long Does a Living Will Last?

It lasts until you cancel it. To cancel it, all you need to do is destroy all current copies. Make sure that any copies you gave to family members, doctors, or anyone else are destroyed and replaced.

Can I Change or Revoke My Living Will?

Absolutely! Once a living will is signed, it goes into effect. However, if you want to make changes or revoke it, destroy all copies of the old living will and replace them with your new, updated documentation.

It’s always a good idea to review your living will occasionally, especially if something in your life has changed. For example, have you received a new diagnosis? That might affect how you feel about certain medical treatments. Have you married or divorced? You might want to update your healthcare proxy.

A good rule of thumb is to review your living will every ten years or so. Not only might your personal circumstances have changed, but your stance on certain medical treatments may have altered.

Can My Living Will be Broken or Ignored?

Yes, it can. If you designate a healthcare proxy, that person has the authority to make medical decisions on your behalf and can go against your wishes. This is why choosing someone you trust as your healthcare proxy is important.

Also, your living will can be ignored if it is deemed invalid. For example, if you didn’t get the proper signatures or any previous living wills weren’t destroyed, your current directives may not be followed.

However, if you follow your state’s laws and choose a healthcare proxy you can trust, you should have no problems.

If I Move to Another State, Should I Update My Living Will?

The short answer – maybe. If you decide to move to another state, it would be best to consult an attorney on whether you need to create a new living will. And if you split your time between two homes in different states, ask your attorney if it would be best to have a living will in each state. They can advise you on the best way forward.

Do I Need a Doctor or a Lawyer to Review My Living Will?

Legally, you do not have to get input from a doctor or a lawyer, but it would be a good idea to do so if possible. They can offer insight from their respective fields and ensure everything is done well and correctly. All decisions are entirely in your hands, so if you disagree with your doctor, that’s fine. But sometimes, you don’t know what you don’t know, and it’s helpful to have an expert by your side.

If you have additional questions about the living will and its purpose in protecting your family and communicating your medical preferences in emergencies or life-threatening situations, contact a local estate planning attorney. They are the best source for accurate information on how to proceed with creating a living will.

DISCLAIMER: Individual circumstances and state laws vary, so only undertake estate planning with the help and assistance of an attorney licensed in your state.

Sep 25

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young boy hugging his grandparents as they smile at him

7 Questions to Ask When Estate Planning with Dependent Children

By Courtney Cook Children, Estate Planning

None of us want to think about a time after we’re gone when our children, grandchildren, or other minor dependents may be on their own. But putting together an estate plan is an important step to ensure that your dependents are protected. Plus, having a plan for your dependents can give you peace of mind, knowing they’ll be cared for and provided for.

As you start estate planning with your dependents in mind, here are a few specific questions to consider:

1. Who would you want to have as your dependent’s guardian?

male guardian in light yellow shirt resting his hand on a teen boy's shoulder

Choosing a guardian is one of the most important steps to take when estate planning for your minor dependent. If something happens to you, someone will need to take care of your dependent. A guardian can be a family member or a friend.

As you decide who to name as a guardian, look for someone you trust who gets along with the child and can provide the level of care the child needs. Talk to the potential guardian and make sure they agree before you decide.

Once you know who your dependent’s guardian will be, you’ll need to officially nominate them as part of your will or a power of attorney. Talk to your estate planning attorney to determine which option is best for you.

2. What information does the guardian need to know?

paper cutout of a family in front of a gavel

Even if your chosen guardian is a close family member, there are many things about your minor that they may not know. And if your dependent is very young, they won’t be able to share important information, like their social security information or medical history, with their guardian.

That’s why keeping all important documents organized and in a safe place is important. You should securely store items like your minor dependent’s birth certificate, social security card, medical and vaccination records, and other important documents. Additionally, you may want to include information about their doctors, school records, and any allergies or other health issues.

You should also consider parts of your digital estate relating to your dependents, like any online school accounts, email addresses, or photo albums. Store passwords and login information for these in a secure location like a specific notebook or an online password manager.

As you gather this important information, consult your estate planning attorney to find out where to include information about the location of these documents in your estate plan.

3. Who should make decisions if you’re incapacitated?

red pen laying on a document that says power of attorney

Minor dependents cannot make legal or financial decisions if you become incapacitated. That’s why you need to plan ahead and make sure someone you trust can make those decisions. By creating a power of attorney, you can nominate a trusted person to make legal, financial, and medical decisions if you become incapacitated and cannot make decisions. If you wish, you can also create separate powers of attorney to nominate different people to make decisions in each area.

4. How should your dependent be provided for?

young woman outside holding a little girl on her back who has her arms outstretched like an airplane

When it comes to providing for your dependents financially, you have plenty of options! You can name your dependents as beneficiaries in your will, create a trust to split funds between dependents, or add your dependent as a secondary beneficiary of your life insurance.

However, remember that minors need a legal adult to serve as trustee over any money they inherit before turning 18. The trustee can be the same person you choose as their legal guardian or someone different, as long as it’s someone you trust to manage the inheritance.

What works for one family may not work for yours, so talk to your estate planning attorney to pick the right option for your family. They can also tell you how to nominate a trustee in your estate plan.

5. Do you have any specific requirements for your dependents or their guardian?

young boy hugging his grandparents as they smile at him

What requirements would you have for your minor dependents if something happened to you? Would you want your children to stay together in the same home? Do you want them to stay in the same area and attend the same school?

Think about the things that are non-negotiable for you and your family. Make sure to communicate with your chosen guardian about your wishes for your dependents. If some requirements are costly (e.g., if the guardian would need to move to a different area), consider setting aside extra funds to help cover that cost.

6. Does your dependent have any special needs?

woman smiling at a boy in a wheelchair on a beach

Children and adults with special needs or health concerns may require extra care. If this is the case for your dependent, make sure to consult with their potential guardian and make sure they’re up to the task – especially if your dependent with special needs will need care for the rest of their life.

Once you have guardianship sorted out, consider the costs of the care your dependent needs. One way to provide for their needs is to set up a special needs trust, which can help preserve your assets and ensure your dependent receives the care they need. Check with your estate planning attorney to learn about the requirements for special needs trusts and determine if this option is right for you.

7. How often should you update your estate plan?

person filling out a form by hand with a pen

As life changes, the needs of your family change, too, which means you’ll need to keep your estate plan up to date. Maybe you have a new significant other and want to nominate them as guardian now. Or maybe your financial situation changed and you want your assets distributed differently. In that case, you’ll need to talk to your attorney about updating your estate plan.

Additionally, life may change for your chosen guardian. They may get married, divorced, or have their own kids. Or, due to other changes, they may no longer feel able to care for your dependent. Every few years, or when a major change happens with your chosen guardian, check in with them and see if they still wish to be named as guardian.

Even if no major changes have happened in your life, you’ll still need to check your estate plan every few years to ensure everything matches your wishes.

As you make decisions about providing for your dependent, talk to your trusted friends, family members, and advisors about your choices. Everything is ultimately your decision, but don’t hesitate to ask for help or advice if needed. While making decisions about the future may seem daunting initially, once it’s done, you can rest easy knowing that a plan is in place to care for your dependents.

DISCLAIMER: Individual circumstances and state laws vary, so only undertake estate planning with the help and assistance of an attorney licensed in your state.

More Estate Planning Resources

Aug 29

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Mourners attending a service, placing hands on casket in remembrance

5 Ways Funerals Today Aren’t One-Size-Fits-All

By christy.kessler Educational, Meaningful Funerals, Plan Ahead

Mourners attending a service, placing hands on casket in remembrance

Starting in the mid-1800s, there was a shift in funeral care. This shift was mainly due to the influence of Queen Victoria’s mourning practices on the Western World and the rise of embalming after the assassination of President Abraham Lincoln. The expectation for funerals came to include embalming, a viewing and visitation, service, funeral procession, graveside service, as well as a headstone.

While many people today still choose a traditional funeral as outlined above, things have changed in the last 150+ years. Now, funerals aren’t one-size-fits-all. You get to make more choices regarding how you want your life remembered and celebrated.

So, let’s talk about 5 key ways that you get to choose what’s right for you.

1. Choose Your Service

One way you can customize the funeral to fit your needs and personality is by choosing the type of service you want. For example, would you like a traditional funeral service? Or perhaps you’d prefer a memorial service after cremation has taken place? Would you like a viewing or a visitation? If so, would it be a private event or a public event? Alternatively, you might prefer to have your ashes scattered in a special place by the people closest to you.

While the options mentioned above are for the sake of example, you can talk with your family and a trusted local funeral home to better understand all of the possibilities. Then, with that information in hand, you can put your funeral plans in writing so that your loved ones know exactly how to honor your life after you’re gone.

For more resources on the types of services you could select, check out the articles below:

2. Choose Your Disposition

The two most common forms of final disposition in the United States are burial and cremation. While there are pros and cons to each, the choice is up to you. With burial, you can choose traditional burial with or without embalming, or you can opt for green burial. Similarly, with cremation, you can choose cremation by heat or by water.

When deciding which to choose, make sure you consider your family’s needs and your own personal convictions. For example, someone who wants to leave a smaller environmental impact could choose green burial or water cremation, the two options with the smallest footprint. However, if having a viewing is essential to your family or religious needs, you might choose have one before burial or cremation takes place. It’s entirely up to you and your family.

A few lesser used forms of disposition are burial at sea, recomposition burial (only available in select states), or body donation to science. For more information about all of these forms of final disposition, check out the resources below:

3. Choose Your Final Resting Place

Next up is choosing your final resting place. Not only can you personally choose the cemetery, but you also decide what kind of placement you want. With burial, you could opt for a single or double plot, a mausoleum, or even an above-ground crypt, to name a few. The cemetery may even have options like choosing a plot near a pond, a bench, or a lovely view.

On the other hand, with cremation, you could choose placement in a columbarium, a glass-front niche, scattering (at a cemetery or a special place), or even urn burial. Depending on the cemetery, there may be other options available. And if you are a veteran, there are national and state veteran cemeteries to consider as well as veterans’ burial benefits.

For more information about choosing a final resting place, check out the resources below and start talking with cemeteries in your area. You can consider the options available at each one and decide which works best for you.

4. Choose Your Personalized Details

Personalization is perhaps the best way to create a truly unique final tribute. Special touches and custom details tailor the service to tell the story of your particular life and its events. There are so many ways to personalize the funeral. Just think – weddings, birthday parties, anniversary celebrations, they all look different because they are custom to the people being celebrated. The same personalization can be true for any funeral or memorial service.

When adding meaningful details, there are a number of things to consider. You could add personalized music, readings, symbols, actions, or choose a unique location. You could also include photos, a memorial tribute video, or serve the deceased’s favorite foods at the reception.

The options are truly endless, so check out these resources and then discuss personalization with a trusted funeral director. They will brainstorm with you, discuss the possibilities, and work to make them a reality.

5. Choose Your Budget

One important aspect of the funeral that’s in your hands is cost. While you can’t control the cost of materials, merchandise, and services, you do get to decide which ones you want. The Federal Trade Commission requires that every funeral home have a General Price List that outlines all of their services and merchandise. With this list, you can pick and choose what you want and ensure that the cost of the funeral stays within your budget.

Plus, at a good funeral home, the staff will work with you to create a personalized plan that fits your needs. So, go to the funeral home with a realistic range of what you are willing to spend on a service, and they will work with you to honor that. If they push you toward the most expensive options, that’s a warning sign that you should find another funeral home to partner with.

Next Steps: Record Your Wishes for the Future

And one final thing that must be included is the importance of writing down your wishes once you’ve made decisions. It doesn’t do your family any good if you’ve decided what you want but never communicate it. Thankfully, planning ahead (also known as preplanning or advance funeral planning) is very common and can take an incredible weight off your family’s shoulders. Simply make an appointment at your chosen funeral home to get started. With your funeral plans written down, your family will have a roadmap to understanding what you want. Otherwise, they may be left scrambling after the loss, not sure what to choose.

Also, if you wish, you can pay in advance or set up a funeral insurance policy to cover the total cost. Alternatively, you can set aside funds in your personal accounts or use a life insurance policy. However, keep in mind, setting aside enough funds may be difficult due to rising costs and inflation. And with life insurance policies, funds may not be available for 6-8 weeks. This means your family may need to pay out of pocket for any funeral services and be reimbursed later.

To learn more about the benefits of planning ahead and how to pay for a funeral, check out the resources here:

By writing down your funeral wishes, you can communicate your personalized preferences to those you love. And with that information, they can make sure that your final tribute isn’t one-size-fits-all. It’s the size that uniquely fits YOU.

Jul 02

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Person sitting at desk in front of a laptop, doing a Google search

Digital Estate Planning: Understanding Google’s Inactive Account Manager

By christy.kessler Educational, Estate Planning

With the introduction of the internet, estate planning became a smidge more complicated than it used to be. Why? Because now we must take our digital (online) estate into account when creating an estate plan. However, there are ways to keep it simple! Today, let’s talk about Google accounts, the Inactive Account Manager, and how you can set up your Google accounts to be accessible when the unexpected happens.

What is the Inactive Account Manager?

The Inactive Account Manager allows you to give someone else access to your Google accounts if you become inactive. Generally speaking, if a Google account isn’t used for two years, then Google considers it inactive. At that time, Google will begin emailing you, and if there’s no response after a period of time, they will automatically delete your accounts.

However, if you set up “Trusted Contact(s)” (up to 10 people) through the Inactive Account Manager, they will get emails about your inactive account, have access to it, and can save any files, photos, videos, etc. that would otherwise be lost. During the set-up process, you will set permissions on what type of information each Trusted Contact can access.

What qualifies as a Google account?

Google is a big company, responsible for many types of accounts you may be familiar with. For example, do you have a Gmail email address? Do you have a YouTube account? Google Photos? Google Drive? There’s also Google Meet, Google Maps, or the Google Play Store. And this isn’t even the full list. So, if you use Google products, anything you have saved could be deleted should you become inactive.

What does Google consider “inactivity”?

There are many actions you can take to let Google know that you are still alive and active. These include:

Reading or sending an email
Using Google Drive
Downloading an app
Sharing a photo or downloading from Google Photos
Watching a YouTube video
Searching on Google
Signing in to a Google account

As long as you complete an action like one of these, Google will consider you active. And your activity is tracked by account – not device. So, if you are active on your laptop one day and your phone the next, as long as both are signed into your Google account, it will be recorded as activity.

However, if you have more than one Google account, you’ll need to be active in each one individually to avoid inactivity alerts.

What if I’m inactive but not deceased?

Before emailing your Trusted Contact, Google will first attempt to contact you several times. If you are still alive and well, you can access your accounts to create some activity. Doing so will prevent any emails from being sent to your Trusted Contact(s). However, if there’s no response from you, Google will email your Trusted Contact(s).

What type of notification will my Trusted Contact(s) receive?

When you set up your Inactive Account Manager, you will be asked when you want Trusted Contact(s) to be notified. Google defaults to two years of inactivity, but you can choose a shorter time period, if you wish.

When that time period passes, your Trusted Contact(s) will receive an email notification. This email will contain a Subject Line and personal message written by you (during the set-up phase) as well as a footer explaining that Google is sending the email on your behalf. The email will also include a list of data that the Trusted Contact has access to view.

When your Trusted Contact(s) logs into your account, their identity will be verified before they are given access. And of course, let whomever you choose know that you have selected them as your Trusted Contact(s). This way, the email won’t be confusing to them or feel out of the blue.

What happens if I don’t set up an Inactive Account Manager?

First, Google will attempt to reach you by sending multiple emails to your Gmail address and to any recovery email you added when the account was created. If there’s no response from you, your Google accounts will be deleted, and any files will be lost. If that’s your preference, then there’s no need to set up an Inactive Account Manager.

However, if you’d like your family to have time to download any files, photos, or videos before they are deleted, then you might consider setting up an Inactive Account Manager. Or, on the flip side, if your family would like access to your files (even if you don’t care), it can be a big hassle for them to try to request access after your death. By being proactive about giving them access, you save a lot of time and headaches.

Why does Google delete old accounts?

It’s mostly for security reasons. Older accounts are more likely to become compromised, making them susceptible to spam or malicious intent. To prevent misuse, Google monitors activity and deletes inactive accounts.

How do I set up an Inactive Account Manager?

When you create a Google account, the Inactive Account Manager function is dormant. You must set it up manually. This way you have control over who accesses your data if you become incapacitated or pass away.

To set up your Google Inactive Account Manager, get on one of your electronic devices (phone, tablet, laptop) and click https://myaccount.google.com/inactive. Google will prompt you to sign in (if you aren’t already) and will walk you through the set-up process.

During the set-up process, you can expect to:

Choose an inactive period (instead of Google’s default of two years, you can choose a shorter timeframe to be contacted about inactivity)
Add relevant details, like your phone number, email address, and recovery email address
Add the name, email address, and phone number of your Trusted Contacts (up to 10 people; they do not have to have a Google email address)
Select which services each Trusted Contact has access to (you control what they can see)
Write out your custom auto-reply message (your Trusted Contacts will receive this message if your account becomes inactive)
Review and confirm your preferences

In the future, if you decide you’d no longer like to use the Inactive Account Manager and would prefer that Google just delete your account, you can go to the Inactive Account Manager page again and select “Turn off my plan” under the “Manage your plan” section. There’s also an “Edit” section if you want to update your auto-reply email or change your Trusted Contacts.

I’ve set up my Inactive Account Manager – what’s next?

Now, as with any part of your estate plan, it’s time to write down what you’ve done and update things when needed. Circumstances and relationships are constantly changing, so whether it’s your legal will, your beneficiaries, or your Inactive Account Manager, visit your selections every few years to make sure you still agree with your previous choices.

Additional Estate Planning Resources

In addition to looking after your Google accounts, you most likely have other online accounts that should be considered when setting up an estate plan. To help you through the process, here are a few additional resources you may find beneficial.

Jun 03

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How Preplanning Eases Emotional, Financial & Legal Burdens After a Death

By christy.kessler Estate Planning, Plan Ahead

After a death, there are three main types of burdens left behind for surviving family members to deal with: emotional, financial, and legal. For those who have planned a loved one’s funeral or closed out an estate, you know how complicated things can get. However, with a little preplanning, you can create a plan for both your funeral and estate, ensuring that everything goes much smoother for those left behind.

Let’s talk about each of the three burdens and how advance planning can ease the stress family members may feel after a death.

1. Emotional

While nothing will stop family and friends from feeling grief after the death of a loved one, advance planning can decrease emotional stress. By recording your funeral wishes in writing and putting together a legal will, you give your family a roadmap to your specific wants and desires. In other words, they won’t have to guess what you want and then stress over whether they made the right choices.

Without a clear plan, families may overspend on a funeral or argue with each other over the best way to plan the service or distribute the estate. Both of these situations may increase emotional tension and create unfavorable experiences for everyone. To reduce the possibility of these emotional stressors, take time to put your preferences in writing, so no one can dispute your wishes.

To learn more about the benefits of planning ahead for your funeral wishes, check out these helpful articles:

What is Advance Funeral Planning?
5 Emotional Benefits to Funeral Preplanning
What to Expect at a Preplanning Appointment
How to Get Started with Funeral Preplanning
10 Reasons to Plan Ahead

2. Financial

Another big burden after a death is financial. For those who do not preplan or pre-pay for their burial or cremation plans, the emotional and financial burden will fall on surviving family members. And for many families, the cost of a funeral can be heavy, especially if they don’t have extra funds readily available.

However, you can remove this burden from your family by preparing in advance. For your funeral plans, you can either set aside funds in your bank accounts to be used when needed or you can set up a prepaid funeral insurance policy. Many people also choose to use a life insurance policy to pay for a funeral. However, keep in mind, it could be 6-8 weeks before the money is available. This means your family will still need to come up with the funds on their own and be reimbursed by the insurance company later.

To learn about prepaying for a funeral or setting aside funds, check out these resources:

6 Ways You Can Save Money with Funeral Preplanning & Prefunding
3 Funeral Insurance Options You Should Know About
Understanding Prepaid Funeral Insurance Policies
The Truth About Life Insurance and Funeral Expenses
10 Questions to Ask Before You Prepay Your Funeral

3. Legal

The final burden relates to legal matters, particularly surrounding a lost loved one’s estate. Some estates are simple while others are very complicated. But no matter which one is you, having a plan in place will only make things easier for your successors. Perhaps the most important document is a legal will, which outlines how you want your estate distributed. Without this document, it falls to the state to decide what happens to your property. If that happens, your property and assets may not go to the people you want.

So, to prevent future headaches and heartaches for your loved ones, talk with an estate planning attorney. With a professional by your side, you can put together a comprehensive plan that protects your assets and ensures that everything goes to the right people.

To learn more about estate planning and how to get your affairs in order, read the following articles:

How to Make an Estate Planning Checklist
Getting Your Affairs in Order
The 5 Most Important Estate Planning Documents
Estate Planning for the Blended Family
4 Reasons to Keep Your Beneficiaries Up to Date

What’s Next?

The death of a loved one brings many different challenges with it. By preplanning in a few key areas, you can reduce the emotional, financial, and legal burden your family may feel. And remember – you won’t be on your own during this process.

For any funeral needs, choose a trusted funeral home in your area. The funeral staff will help you understand what details to plan and how to pre-pay (if you wish). And for estate planning, always consult an attorney licensed in your state. They can ensure that all the right documents are created to your specifications and meet state requirements.

With your funeral and estate plans in place, your family will be set up for success and will have an easier time after your passing.

DISCLAIMER: Individual circumstances and state laws vary. Only undertake estate planning with the help and assistance of an attorney licensed in your state.

May 31

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young woman sitting on a bench, smiling with her elderly parents

5 Reasons to Discuss Your Funeral Wishes with Your Family

By Courtney Cook Plan Ahead

Planning a funeral after someone has already died can leave family members with many questions and add stress to an already difficult time. But while thinking about your own death can be uncomfortable, planning ahead for your funeral wishes can lift a huge burden off your family’s shoulders.

As you begin to put your wishes down in writing and talk to your funeral director, don’t forget to discuss your wishes for your funeral with your family. While starting the conversation about this sensitive topic may be difficult, the discussion will benefit everyone. Here are 5 reasons you should talk about your funeral wishes with your family:

1. Make Your Wishes Known

young woman sitting on a bench, smiling with her elderly parents

Whether you choose to talk to your family when you start planning or after you already have something on file, they need to know that you’ve thought about what you want for your funeral.

If your family is unaware of your wishes, they may not know which decisions to make. That can lead to emotional overspending, where a family spends more because they want to get “only the best” for their loved one. When you talk to your family about your wishes, they can make more confident decisions during the planning process.

By sharing your wishes with them, you ensure that you’re all on the same page. Your family will know exactly what you want, and you’ll know that your wishes will be carried out.

2. Get Another Opinion

elderly african american couple smiling and hugging outside

In some cases, you may not know exactly what you want. Maybe you know you prefer burial but don’t know where you’d want a service to be held. Or maybe you just need a second opinion from someone you trust.

When answering tough questions like these, discussing your wishes with your family members can be helpful! Your family members are often the people who know you the best, and their suggestions could help you make decisions. Plus, by talking with them as you create your plan, they’ll better understand the reasoning behind your wishes.

However, if you think your family members might object to some of your wishes or influence you to make decisions you don’t want, don’t feel pressured to discuss your wishes with them before you have everything set! You can always wait and let them know after your wishes are on file.

3. Prepare Your Family

older couple playing with their young grandson outside

Whether you include your family in the planning process or not, discussing your wishes with them will help them understand what you want and make sure they aren’t surprised by your wishes, like if you choose to donate your body to science or have an outdoor service instead of one at your church.

In addition, as you discuss your wishes with your family, you’ll need to let them know where your funeral wishes are on file. What funeral home did you plan with? Who is the funeral director you talked to? Where are the important documents they’ll need, like your birth certificate, will, or other estate planning documents?

By letting your family know about your wishes, they’ll be ready to answer questions at the arrangement conference. Plus, they’ll know where to go and who to talk to!

4. Avoid Disagreements

large family with grandparents celebrating a birthday

After a loved one dies, emotions can run high. Family members are grieving, and they often have different ideas about what should be done to honor that special person’s life. This difference of opinion can lead to heated disagreements when there are no clear answers about what the deceased wanted.

When you clearly discuss your wishes with your family, you can eliminate confusion and give your family a guide to your wishes. And since what you verbally tell your family could be forgotten or misremembered, it’s important to also record your wishes and put them on file with your chosen funeral home.

5. Give Everyone Peace of Mind

young man hugging elderly mother

One of the best parts of sharing your wishes with your family is the peace of mind that everyone gains. When you tell your family you have a plan in place, you lift the burden of planning a funeral off of their shoulders and eliminate the unknowns.

And if you choose to prepay for your funeral, you also remove the financial burden for your family. They’ll know that everything is taken care of; they won’t have to find a way to pay for the funeral or wait for life insurance.

By answering the many questions that arise while funeral planning, you give your family one less thing to worry about. Plus, you’ll gain peace of mind, knowing that your family is taken care of and your wishes will be followed.

As you talk to your family about your funeral wishes, give them time to process and think through what you’ve shared. Because we often avoid talking about death, your family members may react in different ways. Be patient and know that your preparation will make things easier for everyone.

More Information About Planning Ahead

Why Plan Ahead for Funeral Wishes?

10 Reasons to Plan Ahead

5 Emotional Benefits to Funeral Preplanning

How to Get Started With Funeral Preplanning

6 Ways You Can Save Money with Funeral Preplanning & Prefunding

9 Preplanning Mistakes to Avoid

Plan Ahead

Will the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) pay for a veteran’s funeral in full?

Am I automatically eligible for burial benefits simply because I was once in the Armed Forces?

Will my family receive funds from the government in advance of the funeral?

Are there cases where the VA pays nothing toward a veteran’s funeral?

If a spouse predeceases the veteran, can that spouse be buried at a national cemetery?

Who is eligible for burial in a national cemetery?

Can you reserve a national cemetery gravesite in advance?

What does the VA provide for veterans buried in a national cemetery?

What does the VA provide for veterans buried in a private cemetery?

Does the VA pay for cremation services?

Does the VA provide burial at sea?

What is the Avenue of Flags?

A Few Things to Keep in Mind

National Cemeteries Across the United States

Alabama

Alaska

Arizona

Arkansas

California

Colorado

Florida

Georgia

Hawaii

Idaho

Illinois

Indiana

Iowa

Kansas

Kentucky

Louisiana

Maine

Maryland

Massachusetts

Michigan

Minnesota

Mississippi

Missouri

Montana

Nebraska

Nevada

New Jersey

New Mexico

New York

North Carolina

North Dakota

Ohio

Oklahoma

Oregon

Pennsylvania

Puerto Rico

South Carolina

South Dakota

Tennessee

Texas

Utah

Virginia

Washington

West Virginia

Wisconsin

Wyoming

Step 1: Gather Important Information

Checklist

Step 2: Consider Estate Planning

1. Do you have a legal will?

2. If you do have a legal will, have you appointed an executor? And does your chosen executor have access to and know where to find all of your important documents?

3. Have you named your beneficiaries?

4. Do you want or need a trust?

5. Have you considered your digital estate?

6. Do you have any dependents (including pets)? Have you made your wishes clear regarding their well-being?

Step 3: Look Into Advance Funeral Planning

Step 4: Write Out Your Advance Care Directives (ACD)

Step 5: Keep It Current

What does a healthcare power of attorney do?

Who can I nominate as my healthcare proxy?

When does the healthcare power of attorney take effect?

What decisions can my healthcare proxy make?

How do I create a healthcare power of attorney?

Can I revise my healthcare power of attorney?

What is a Living Will?