Personalization Archives - Funeral Basics

Dec 23

Woman playing a cello, seated by man playing a violin.

12 Ways to Honor the Musician in Your Life

By Becca Corbett Meaningful Funerals, Personalization

Losing a loved one is one of the most difficult things we face in life, but designing a meaningful final goodbye can create a sweet moment of remembrance that will help soothe the pain.

Today, we’re going to talk about ways you can personalize the service to honor a loved one who deeply valued music, whether they sang, wrote songs, played an instrument, or participated in band, orchestra, musical theatre, and more. Let’s get started.

Personalized Ways to Honor the Musician in Your Life

1. Pick a music-related venue

Did you know that you have freedom when choosing the location of a loved one’s final tribute? For music lovers, your local theater, performance hall, or another type of music venue would be a great location for a service. Gathering somewhere that was either meaningful to your loved one or that highlights an area of interest is a wonderful way for people to feel closer to them.

2. Choose a music-inspired guestbook

It’s common practice to ask people to sign a guestbook when they attend the visitation or funeral service. Consider choosing one with a musical theme, such as music notes, vinyl records, or instruments. If you can personalize it, consider including a picture of your loved one playing their favorite instrument. Having a music-themed guestbook gives you a unique way to honor your loved one’s passion for music.

3. Decorate with a music theme

While flowers are commonly used for decoration at a funeral service, there are so many ways that you can get creative! To add a musical theme to the service, you could use flowers made from sheet music, play vinyl on a record player, or display posters of their favorite bands. Additionally, if they were involved in musical theatre or any organized musical group, you could add playbills, programs, ticket stubs, costumes, and other memorabilia associated with that aspect of their life. These special touches add a unique feel to the service and pay tribute to their love of music.

4. Create a collage of photos from performances

If your musician did shows, put on concerts, or played on stage, gather photos of the performances to use during the service. Put the images in a photo album, scatter them on a table, or hang them on the wall for mourners to admire as they reflect on their loved one’s life. By adding these special touches, you can bring a loved one’s past performances to life for mourners who have come to honor their legacy.

5. Display their instrument

Perhaps your loved one played an instrument, or two, or three. To honor the time and commitment your loved one put into honing their craft, consider displaying their instrument(s) during the service. The instrument will become a visual reminder of their love of music. Plus, when people see the instrument, they can reflect on the special moments when they watched your lost loved one play it.

6. Perform songs they wrote

If your musician enjoyed writing song lyrics, you may want to play their personal songs at the service. Print out the lyrics and provide them to guests as they enter the service. Have a musician, band, or family members perform the song and encourage attendees to sing along. Hearing the lyrics your loved one wrote can bring peace and comfort during difficult moments.

7. Show videos of them singing or playing instruments

Alternatively, you could include a memorial video that highlights your loved one’s musical talent. If you have videos of your musician singing or playing instruments, they could be shown on-screen while people are entering or leaving the service. Watching a video of your loved one can help you revisit joyful memories and see the happiness they felt while performing.

8. Play music by their favorite artists

Every music lover will have their favorite musical artists, and you can use those preferences to personalize the service. Did your loved one have a favorite country artist, enjoy jazz, or love a band from their youth? Use their favorite tunes to compile a list of songs to play during the service.

If you want to involve the guests, consider creating a collaborative playlist of songs. Using whatever music streaming service you prefer, share a link with mourners to allow them to add songs that you can play at the service. To ensure the songs are appropriate for the service, review the playlist ahead of time. Additionally, you will need to make sure that the funeral home you partner with for the service has an appropriate license to play copyrighted music. By inviting family and friends to create a playlist together, you give them the chance to participate and reflect on meaningful moments spent with a lost loved one.

9. Reserve seats for musical peers and students

Your musician may have spent part of their life mentoring others or leading musical groups, either as part of their career or during their personal time. If your loved one was a music teacher, voice coach, or band member, reserve a seating section for their students or fellow band members at the service. Providing special seating for guests who were important to your musician is a great way to honor their legacy.

10. Donate to a local musical organization

If your musician was active in a musical band, club, or organization, consider offering the option for people to donate to that cause as an alternative to sending flowers. Memorial contributions will serve as a meaningful way to support a cause that was close to your loved one’s heart.

11. Hand out mementos at the service

Another thoughtful way to honor the musician in your life is to pass out mementos at the service. Not only will the keepsake remind people of your loved one on the day of the service, but it will act as a reminder for years to come.

Here are a few ideas for mementos:

Sheet music of an original song or one of your loved one’s favorite tunes
Guitar picks in a basket
Picture of your loved one performing
Musical note bookmarks

By providing attendees with a meaningful keepsake, you give them a tangible object that will help them process the loss.

12. Design a custom monument

In most cases, monuments are entirely customizable, allowing you to create a unique design to honor your musician. For example, you could add a photo etching, choose the shape of a music note, or have your loved one’s favorite lyrics carved on the stone. Your funeral director or a monument specialist can help you design the perfect monument to honor your loved one. They will discuss your options and answer any questions that you may have about creating a custom monument.

These are just a few ideas to get you started! Musicians bring joy and happiness to people’s lives, and there are so many ways to highlight their musical interest and talent. By planning a personalized service that incorporates music themes, you can pay tribute to their gift, their values, and their unique personality.

Additional Resources

If you’d like more ideas on personalizing a funeral for a loved one, check out these resources:

10 Ideas for Making a Funeral More Personal
Using Color to Personalize a Service
How to Personalize Music at a Funeral
How to Personalize Readings at a Funeral
How to Personalize the Eulogy at a Funeral
How to Personalize Healing Actions at a Funeral
Why Does Funeral Personalization Matter?

Oct 22

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Uniformed military personnel resting hand on flag-draped casket

20 Ideas for Personalizing a Veteran’s Final Tribute

By christy.kessler Educational, Meaningful Funerals, Personalization, Veterans

Honoring a veteran’s life and service goes beyond commemorating their time in the military; it’s about acknowledging their personal sacrifices, valor, and the unique stories that shaped their lives. From their active-duty service days to their veteran years and family memories, a veteran’s life is made up of many different facets. Today, let’s talk about 20 ideas for how you can personalize a beloved veteran’s funeral. These will help you honor and celebrate their military service in a way that is tailored to their one-of-a-kind story.

20 Ideas for Personalizing a Veteran’s Final Tribute

1. Request military honors

One of the most recognized options for honoring a veteran is military honors. This ceremonial option commonly includes the folding and presentation of the flag, playing Taps, and a salute from uniformed personnel. It may also include other elements, but the details can be worked out with a funeral director.

2. Invite guests to attend in uniform

If you expect any current or former service members to attend the final tribute, invite them to wear their uniform. This simple act will be a visual reminder to everyone that your loved one proudly served in the Armed Forces.

3. Choose a venue with significance

If you’d like, you can highlight a veteran’s service by choosing a venue with military significance. For example, have the service in an old USO building or contact the local VFW or American Legion Post to see if they can host. Or, if you choose burial at a national cemetery, you could ask for additional military honors, such as uniformed pallbearers.

4. Incorporate personal keepsakes & memorabilia

Every veteran will have special items and keepsakes associated with their time in military service. You could display awards, medals, challenge coins, patches, or ribbons in a shadow box. Create a uniform display on a table or use a dressmaker’s mannequin. Or you could put together a memory table where photos and keepsakes are shown.

5. Prepare a personalized event program

It’s common practice to create a personalized event program, where the songs, speakers, and other events are clearly outlined for attendees. For a veteran, you could use a patriotic color theme, include photos, and list their rank, awards, and deployments. For the design, you can also add insignia, logos, or the American flag or eagle.

6. Ask fellow veterans to speak during the eulogy

If your veteran was still in touch with old buddies or was involved at the local VFW or American Legion, you could ask fellow veteran friends to speak at the eulogy. With their own history in military service, they may add a unique perspective and highlight your loved one’s time in the miliary.

7. Create a video montage of the veteran’s life

While a video tribute should include every aspect of a person’s life, you can add specific details to commemorate their time in the service. Include photos of the person in uniform or volunteering with local veteran organizations. If available, you could also include video footage of graduations, promotion ceremonies, and other significant military milestones.

8. Decorate with patriotic colors or floral arrangements

Personalization has become the new norm, which means you can decorate the funeral venue with a theme, if you wish. For a veteran, you could use red, white, and blue as the signature colors during the service. Alternatively, you could invite guests to wear these colors or place patriotic floral arrangements in prominent places throughout the venue.

9. Select customized funeral merchandise

The funeral home will offer many types of merchandise, from caskets and urns to guestbooks and memorial jewelry. If you’d like, you can choose items that align with a military theme. For example, select a guestbook or an urn inscribed with the American flag or other military imagery.

10. Design a personalized monument

If you’ve decided to honor a veteran with burial or inurnment at a local cemetery, you can work with a local monument company to design a personalized grave marker. As part of the design, you could include a military medallion, a photo, or the insignia for the veteran’s service branch or unit.

11. Give guests a remembrance token or keepsake

At some funerals, guests are invited to take home a remembrance token or a keepsake. For a veteran, you could design a custom patch or challenge coin. Alternatively, you could create a bookmark with their photo in uniform or give away miniature American flags or pins. There are many options to choose from!

12. Add a timeline of the veteran’s life

Many military families move around, so it’s possible that a veteran has lived in many unique places. To highlight those cities and/or countries, you could add a timeline of the veteran’s life or display a map with pins added for each place they lived. Another option is creating collages or shadow boxes for each location with photos and mementos.

13. Encourage donations to support veteran organizations

For families who prefer not to receive flowers, you could instead encourage guests to give memorial donations to organizations that aid veterans and their families. You could look into local non-profits or direct people to national options, like Wreaths Across America or the Wounded Warrior Project.

14. Play ceremonial and patriotic music

In addition to national songs like “America the Beautiful” and the “Star-Spangled Banner,” every service branch has their own anthem, hymns, and related melodies. For example, the U.S. Navy is closely tied to the famous march “Anchors Aweigh” and the hymn “Eternal Father, Strong to Save.” With a quick online search, you can find the songs most beloved by your veteran’s service branch.

15. Sing patriotic songs together

Hearing many voices raised in song can be a powerful experience. To encourage participation and honor a veteran’s military service, you can invite guests to sing the “Star-Spangled Banner” together. Or you can select another patriotic song that may have special significance to the family or to the person who has died.

16. Arrange for a military band to perform

Another musical option is to arrange for a military band to perform during the service. You could request that they play ceremonial marches, Taps, Amazing Grace, a particular branch’s anthem, or you could leave it up to the band to choose. And if an official military band is not available, perhaps a local one would be willing to step in to perform.

17. Invite comrades-in-arms to participate

If the veteran was in touch with former comrades-in-arms, consider giving them time to share memories and express their respect. By including comrades’ stories, you not only highlight the veteran’s service, but you also create an incredibly moving moment and reinforce the power and camaraderie of bonds formed during service.

18. Read a history of the service branch

For those who are less familiar with the service branches, you could incorporate a short history of the veteran’s chosen branch. You could add the history to the printed program or include a reading on the subject. This practice could be a great way to help others appreciate the history and respect associated with the veteran’s service and dedication.

19. Include patriotic readings

Finally, you could include meaningful poems or quotes that will add an emotional and reflective element to the program. A few popular options to consider are:

“Bivouac of the Dead” by Theodore O’Hara
“The Ultimate Sacrifice” by Kelly Roper
“A Nation’s Strength” by Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Star-Spangled Banner” by Francis Scott Key

20. Customize the funeral procession

If escorting a veteran to their final resting place is planned, you could add a few unique elements to the funeral procession. Provide each car with a small American flag that will rest in a rolled-up window and wave during the drive. Add patriotic streamers to the funeral hearse or ask people to listen to a provided playlist on the drive to the cemetery.

As you can see, there are so many ways to personalize a veteran’s final tribute that pay homage to their commitment and dedication during their time of military service. And if you want to brainstorm other ideas, your funeral director can help!

Don’t Forget to Take Advantage of VA Veteran Burial Benefits

As you plan a beloved veteran’s final goodbye, don’t forget to request all the burial benefits they are eligible to receive. Depending on eligibility, the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs may provide burial allowances, a government-issued headstone or grave marker, burial in a national cemetery, and more. Talk with a funeral director or visit www.va.gov/burials-memorials to look into the details. Additionally, you can browse the resources below for more information.

Oct 03

Love0

Top 12 Country Songs for a Celebration of Life Service

By christy.kessler Meaningful Funerals, Music, Personalization

Cowboy boots with hat in foreground with guitar in background

“A good country music song takes a page out of somebody’s life and puts music to it.” – Conway Twitty

Music is a window to the soul and takes us to a place mere words never can. After all, we all know a song that particularly touched the heart and brought tears to the eyes or joy to the spirit. For countless people around the world, country music is a big part of their everyday life. For that reason, we have put together these top 12 country songs for a celebration of life. Whether you need a grief playlist or are planning a funeral and need inspiration, this list is worth checking out.

12. I Hope You Dance (Lee Ann Womack)

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
I hope you dance

Over time, this beloved tune became Lee Ann Womack’s signature song. It won the Country Music Association’s and Academy of Country Music’s awards for Song of the Year as well as a Grammy Award for Best Country Song of the Year. The song calls us to be active in the stories of our lives and to take the opportunities before us to find hope and new life.

11. Live Like You Were Dying (Tim McGraw)

I spoke sweeter and I gave forgiveness I’d been denyin’
And he said someday I hope you get the chance
To live like you were dyin’

Released in August 2004, this song went on to be the 2005 Grammy Award winner for Best Country Male Vocal Performance and the Best Country Vocal Performance. The original music video prominently featured McGraw’s relationship with his father, who had died of brain cancer. No matter whether you are grieving, planning a funeral, or both, this song is worth a listen.

10. Temporary Home (Carrie Underwood)

This was just a stop on the way to where I’m going
I’m not afraid because I know
This was my temporary home

This lovely ballad was co-written by Carrie Underwood and inspired by her belief that Earth is our temporary home. One day, heaven awaits those who truly believe in God. This song is beautiful in its melody and message. As you make musical selections for a funeral, choose songs like this that bring hope and invite others to express their grief.

9. If I Had Only Known (Reba McEntire)

So unaware I foolishly believed
That you would always be there
But then there came a day
And I turned my head and you slipped away

In this powerful song, the longing in the singer’s voice draws the listener in as Reba reflects on all the things she would have done or said if only she’d known what was coming. Even if death is not a surprise to us, we may still feel a sense of shock or disbelief when it occurs. Perhaps, we even wish we’d done some things differently. This song perfectly illustrates our natural desire to turn back time and say things unsaid or do things undone.

8. There’ll be You (Faith Hill)

In my heart
There will always be a place for you for all my life
I’ll keep a part of you with me
And everywhere I am, there you’ll be

Nominated for both an Academy Award and a Golden Globe Award for Best Original Song, this hit song dips and soars, inviting us to join in the emotional journey. Faith Hill’s melodic tones perfectly express the deep feelings of gratitude we have toward those who give us strength, steadfastness, and love throughout our lives. The words “I’ll keep a part of you with me” are perfect for those who are mourning, as we will always carry the memory of a lost loved one within us.

7. Just a Closer Walk With Thee (Patsy Cline)

When my feeble life is o’er
Time for me will be no more
Guide me gently, safely o’er
To Thy Kingdom’s shore, to Thy shore

A beloved hymn with a long history, this Patsy Cline recording of “Just a Closer Walk With Thee” is beautiful and touching. The song is a statement and a prayer. It calls the listener to trust in God during times of grief and struggle. Though we may not understand why a death has occurred, this song gives hope that God is with us. Patsy Cline’s rendition is dear to the hearts of many, and it provides an avenue for us to express our emotions.

6. Angels Among Us (Alabama)

Oh, I believe there are angels among us
Sent down to us from somewhere up above

If you are familiar with country music, you’ve likely heard of the band Alabama. They became known for their unique blend of country music and southern rock with elements of gospel and pop. To date, they are the most awarded band in country music history. This 1993 hit song is exceptionally versatile and beautifully portrays the goodness in people and how every person is an angel in disguise to someone around them. If your loved one was an angel in your life, then this soulful tune may be a fitting addition to their final goodbye.

5. Go Rest High on That Mountain (Vince Gill)

Oh, how we cried the day you left us
We gathered round your grave to grieve

Inspirational and emotional, this Grammy Award-winning song was originally written as a tribute to Vince Gill’s brother, who passed away from a heart attack. Vince Gill would later state, “All I wanted to do was grieve for him and celebrate his life.” The song talks about the pain we feel when we lose someone we love. But it also couples that pain with hope, reflecting on the joy that comes from being with God.

4. The Dance (Garth Brooks)

Our lives are better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
But I’d have had to miss the dance

Well known in country music circles, “The Dance” is one of the most beloved country songs. The song is soft and poignant throughout, beginning with a beautiful piano introduction. The lyrics are simple but relatable, exploring the relationship between pain and risk. When we love people, we are taking a risk because one day we will lose them. But even when we lose someone we love, we’ve gained the dance of life and many beautiful memories.

3. Daddy’s Hands (Holly Dunn)

If I could do things over, I’d live my life again
and never take for granted the love in daddy’s hands

Written as a Father’s Day gift, “Daddy’s Hands” became Holly Dunn’s breakout song and signature hit. The lyrics are sweet and simple, beautifully portraying the love between a father and his child. With its open lyrics, either a son or daughter could use the song as the perfect tribute. If you are looking to highlight a father’s loving relationship with his children, then this melody may be the perfect fit for the service.

2. One More Day (Diamond Rio)

I didn’t ask for money
Or a mansion in Malibu
I simply asked for one more day with you

Following several tragic events that occurred in 2001 – namely 9/11, the Oklahoma State plane crash, and the death of Dale Earnhardt – “One More Day” became a song of mourning and healing. Diamond Rio drummer Brian Prout said the song was very special. He knew that the song had an “impact on someone’s life and helped in a tough time of healing and hope.” The desire for more time with our lost loved ones is universal. This song helps us touch on those emotions and express them in a healthy way.

1. When I Get Where I’m Going (Brad Paisley, featuring Dolly Parton)

But when I get where I’m going
And I see my maker’s face
I’ll stand forever in the light
Of his amazing grace

Featuring the vocal harmony of Dolly Parton, this inspirational song carries a two-fold focus. In part, the lyrics paint a picture of wonder and joy awaiting those who have left this earth and an exhortation to those still alive that they should rejoice that their loved one is in heaven. But on the other hand, the song acknowledges the pain of missing those we love deeply. Bittersweet and beautiful, this song is well worth considering for a meaningful celebration of life.

More Musical Selections to Consider

If you are interested in learning more about meaningful music, check out the articles below.

Setting the Tone for a Service: A Collection of Funeral Songs
How to Personalize Music at a Funeral
Why Include Special Music in a Funeral Ceremony?

Oct 27

Love0

Musical notes made out of pink flowers on black background

10 Songs to Honor Mom at a Funeral Service

By christy.kessler Explore Options, Meaningful Funerals, Personalization, Planning Tools

Colorful flowers acting like musical notes on vines that are lines of music

For many people, a mom is so much more than just another family member. She’s a pillar of strength, love, kindness, and acceptance. She offers wise counsel and a compassionate, listening ear. She is present and supportive. When you lose someone so important to your life, the urge to honor them in a special way is strong. If you are planning a personalized final tribute for a loving mother, consider including one of these 10 songs to honor her life and the way you feel about her.

1. Because You Loved Me (Celine Dion)

Maybe I don’t know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you

While this song does imply a link to a romantic relationship, the message at its core is one of gratitude. It focuses on thanking a loved one for guidance, encouragement, and protection through the ups and downs of life. The poignant words paired with Celine Dion’s incomparable voice make the song unforgettable and a lovely way to honor mom.

2. In My Life (The Beatles)

Though I know I’ll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I’ll often stop and think about them
In my life, I love you more

Performed by the beloved Beatles, this timeless tune explores themes of love, loss, and nostalgia. Its depth of emotion and thoughtful lyrics help the listener reflect on and appreciate the people in their lives, like a wonderful mom. If you or your mom loved the Beatles or connected to their music in an impactful way, this song may be a worthy inclusion at the funeral service.

3. Mother Like Mine (The Band Perry)

She’s the sky that holds the clouds
She’s the lady of the house
A blind believer in all I dare to be
There’s no safer place I’ve found

With its soothing cadence and deep message, this song from The Band Perry resonates with listeners from all walks of life. The lyrics explore the irreplaceable role of mothers and the power of their unconditional love. If your mom had a positive impact on your life and seemed to be the glue that kept your family together, you might consider including this country classic at her final tribute.

4. My Wish (Rascal Flatts)

But more than anything, more than anything
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold

This #1 hit song by Rascal Flatts was written from the perspective of a parent to a child. The lyrics express the wishes many parents have toward their children – big dreams, small worries, no regrets, and lasting love. To bring solace to mourners after the loss of a beloved maternal figure, this song may be a great comfort as you remember just how much your mom loved you and what she wanted for you.

5. You’ll Be in My Heart (Phil Collins)

‘Cause you’ll be in my heart
Yes, you’ll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more

In this familiar classic, Phil Collins explores the ongoing presence of love. Even after a person has died, their legacy and their memory don’t go away. As the song states, “you’ll be in my heart from this day on, now and forevermore” and no truer words were spoken. If you are looking for a song to honor a mom who stood with you, supporting you and loving you, consider including this song at the services.

6. Mama Liked the Roses (Elvis Presley)

Oh, mama liked the roses,
But most of all she cared
About the way we learned to live

Released in Elvis Presley’s 1970 album titled “Elvis’ Christmas Album,” this song holds a special place in the hearts of many fans. With poignant words, Presley shares a look into his own feelings about his mother and the beauty of the enduring bond between a mother and her children. If your mom loved roses or was an Elvis Presley fan, then this enduring classic may be the perfect addition to a lovely tribute.

7. Heaven Was Needing a Hero (Jo Dee Messina)

I came by today to see you
Though I had to let you know
If I knew the last time that I held you was the last time
I’d have held you and never let go

Sometimes, death is expected, and sometimes, it’s not. In this heartfelt country ballad, Messina expresses the desire so many people feel – the ability to see that special person one more time. And she also dives into the emotions you may feel following a loss, especially learning how to grapple with why and how to move forward. If your mother was your hero, this soothing song could be the perfect complement to your plans for her final tribute.

8. Two of Us (Louis Tomlinson)

I know you’ll be looking down
Swear I’m gonna make you proud
I’ll be living one life for the two of us

Written following the passing of his own mother, Tomlinson shares aspects of his grief journey throughout the song. In an interview, he declared that writing the song was a therapeutic experience for him, and he hopes that even though it is sad, other people will find the song’s message comforting during their own losses. If you resonate with Tomlinson and the words he sings about his own mother, consider honoring yours with this ballad.

9. See You Again (Carrie Underwood)

I will see you again, oh
This is not where it ends
I will carry you with me, oh
‘Til I see you again

In this uplifting country tune from Carrie Underwood, the focus is on hope and the belief that we will one day see the people we love again. While your mom may no longer be physically present, there is a time in the future when you will see her again and rejoice together at the reunion. If you share Underwood’s beliefs and want to lean into hope for the future, consider including this selection at your mom’s funeral service.

10. Supermarket Flowers (Ed Sheeran)

Oh I’m in pieces, it’s tearing me up, but I know
A heart that’s broke is a heart that’s been loved
So I’ll sing Hallelujah
You were an angel in the shape of my mum

In this beautiful tribute to a beloved mom and grandmother, Sheeran’s powerful lyrics and emotive voice help you feel exactly what he’s feeling. Perhaps the most stunning words of the songs are the reminder that “a heart that’s broke is a heart that’s been loved.” If you shared a deep and abiding love with your mother, listen to this haunting melody and consider whether it’s right for honoring your mom’s life and legacy.

Honorable Mentions

If you are a daughter seeking to honor your mom, you might consider including Celine Dion’s “Goodbye’s the Saddest Word,” Faith Hill’s “You Can’t Lose Me,” Taylor Swift’s “The Best Day (Taylor’s Version),” or Riley Roth’s “When God Made You My Mother.” For a son, both “A Song for Mama” by Boyz II Men and “Will the Circle be Unbroken” by Randy Travis are beautiful tributes. And if you grew up in a single parent household with mom as your primary support, “Thank you Mom” by Good Charlotte could be the perfect addition.

As you plan a personalized tribute for your mom, you are not limited to the songs on this list. These are merely a starting place. If there’s a song that always reminds you of your mom or that she sang regularly, include that song. The goal of personalizing the music at a funeral service is to capture the person’s unique life and personality. So, think of who your mom was and choose music accordingly.

Additional Resources

For more suggestions on songs to include at a funeral service, check out the resources below:

By decade:

Aug 20

Love0

Setting the Tone for a Service: A Collection of Funeral Songs

By christy.kessler Meaningful Funerals, Music, Personalization, Planning Tools

When honoring a loved one’s life with a meaningful service, it’s important to find ways to tap into the essence of who they were as a person. By adding personalized elements, you can really celebrate and lovingly remember what made them who they were. One way to add a special touch to any final tribute is to choose musical selections and funeral songs that align with your loved one’s personality, beliefs, or preferences.

Musical notes for funeral songs

You may not know where to start when choosing meaningful music, so we’ve compiled a list of funeral songs for your review. You will find songs of many genres – spiritual, classical, rock, country, and more. Browse through the list and review the articles that best fit your loved one’s lifestyle and musical preferences. May you find the perfect songs to salute your loved one’s life and highlight what made them unique and loved.

By Style or Genre

In this section, you will find songs from different types and styles of music. If something appeals to you, simply click on the heading to review the songs.

Top 10 Hymns for a Funeral Ceremony

For those who deeply loved and found comfort in the hymns of old, consider choosing one or more of these beloved tunes to grace the final tribute.

12 Modern Christian Songs for a Final Tribute

If your loved one found more comfort in modern praise and worship songs (or enjoyed a range of spiritual genres), these more modern Christian songs could add an element of hope and peace to the service.

Top 12 Country Songs for a Celebration of Life Service

Loved by millions around the world, country music has established itself as a musical genre that speaks to the heart in a poignant way. If your loved one had an affinity for country music, check out this list of 12 funeral songs.

11 Classical Music Songs for a Funeral Service

Classical music transcends and brings out emotions that are resting just below the service. If your loved one enjoyed classical music or was a classical musician, you might consider including one of these lovely songs in their funeral ceremony.

Top 10 Songs for a Funeral Ceremony

With songs from multiple genres, this list encourages you to pick what feels like the most appropriate tribute. There’s no right or wrong when choosing music for a loved one’s service. There’s only what reflects who they were as a person.

By Decade

Did your loved one gravitate toward a particular decade of music? That could be another way to choose music to honor your loved one’s life. In this section, you will find beloved songs from each decade that could also serve as a beautiful tribute.

10 Songs from the 1940s for a Celebration of Life

The 1940s saw the beginning of new things in the music industry. The decade included everything from stirring ballads of wartime sorrow to Big Band music and the blossoming careers of artists like Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra. The 1940s offers a bounty of beautiful songs to choose from.

11 Songs from the 1950s for a Celebration of Life

With the rise of artists like Elvis Presley, Nat King Cole, and Buddy Holly, the 1950s introduced a new sound. For loved ones who grew up during this decade or had a particular affinity to it, consider checking out these funeral songs.

10 Songs from the 1960s for a Celebration of Life

With instantly recognizable classics, this list includes popular hits by Ben E. King, Elvis Presley, Johnny Cash, and The Beatles. If you are looking to add a little more groove to a loved one’s final tribute, this list may provide you with a few song ideas.

9 Songs from the 1970s for a Celebration of Life

From Simon & Garfunkel to John Denver, this curated list provides you with 9 stunning options for a celebration of life. Whether your loved one grew up in the 70s or came to appreciate its music later, you are sure to find a song to honor their life in a meaningful way.

10 Songs from the 1980s for a Celebration of Life

The 1980s brought a distinct sound with it, and for many, it’s the anthem of their youth. On this list, you will find heartfelt tunes from Cyndi Lauper, Bette Midler, Queen, and others. Perfect for any 80s aficionado, browse the list to see if anything reflects your loved one’s unique life.

Hopefully, this compilation of musical selections helps you find music that sets the tone for your loved one’s final tribute. And if you’d like more information about personalizing the funeral, check out these resources.

NOTE: This post will be updated with new musical selections as future articles are published to Funeral Basics.

Jul 22

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How to Personalize the Location of a Funeral

By christy.kessler Explore Options, Meaningful Funerals, Personalization, Planning Tools

The funeral is a time to truly honor and remember a loved one’s life, but how can you personalize the service to reflect that special person’s personality, preferences, interests, and uniqueness?

You can choose music uniquely suited to your loved one’s interests. You could include readings or symbols or healing actions that are meaningful and tailored to your lost loved one’s preferences. Another way you can personalize the funeral is by choosing a location for the service that fits who they were as a person. Let’s discuss the possibilities.

First, Why Does Personalization Matter?

Dr. Alan Wolfelt, a nationally respected grief counselor and author, believes that personalizing the funeral is critical to honoring a loved one’s life and finding healing after loss. He says:

“I encourage you to slow down, take a deep breath and focus on what is really important—what is essential—about the funeral you are planning. What is essential is the life that was lived and the impact that life had on family and friends. To honor that unique life, the funeral must also be unique. Over and over, families tell me that the best funerals are those that are personalized.”

In a world focused on efficiency and getting things done as quickly as possible, the funeral is a moment to slow down and be thoughtful. When we do things too quickly, they can sometimes feel impersonal and hollow. That’s why personalization is key!

How to Personalize the Location of a Funeral

Depending on what events you decide to include, you have many options for choosing a unique location. If you have a service, a visitation, and a gathering, you could choose separate places for each. For example, the visitation could take place at the funeral home, the service at your local church, and the gathering at your loved one’s Rotary Club, favorite restaurant, or wherever you wish.

The point of choosing a specific location is to add an extra element of meaningful personalization to the funeral, so it really feels like the best way to honor your loved one’s life.

Here are a few ideas for choosing a personalized location:

1. Choose a convenient place

Sometimes, the easiest and best option is to have the funeral or memorial service at the funeral home itself. Many funeral homes offer beautiful facilities and will let you decorate the room to reflect your loved one’s life. You could include photos, mementoes, cherished possessions, flowers, balloons, whatever seems to appropriately reflect your loved one’s hobbies and interests.

Alternatively, you could choose to host the service in your own or the deceased’s home. While this option is not as popular, it could be convenient for your family and would allow you to have the service in a comfortable environment.

2. Choose a place of worship

For those who are religious, having the service at a place of worship may be the best location for your loved one. Your funeral director will help you coordinate with a local church, synagogue, mosque, or other place of worship. And if it’s allowed, you could also add special touches to that location that will reflect your loved one’s unique life.

3. Choose a place related to their interests

Another option is to select a place that has special meaning to your loved one. If they coached little league, perhaps you could hold part of the ceremony at the local baseball diamond. If they were part of a gardening club, you might be able to host the ceremony at the rose garden. For those who loved the beach, ask friends and family to come to a memorial service at sunset. Again, chat with your funeral director about the options. The funeral home staff will do everything they legally can to make your wishes become reality.

4. Choose a place related to their professional career

For those deeply dedicated to their career or field of study, you could select a location that is significant to their achievements. For example, you could choose to bury a veteran in a national cemetery and have the service there. Or for a mariner, you could opt for a service and burial at sea. For those dedicated to teaching or the medical field, you could possibly hold a ceremony at their university, school, or hospital. While some professional spaces will be off-limits, you never know unless you ask.

No matter what you choose for the location of a funeral, make sure that you add other meaningful touches to the event. These special touches combined will make the service even more touching and healing.

Additional Personalization Resources

If you’d like more information about how to personalize the funeral, give these resources a quick read:

Jun 20

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People standing next to a casket, holding white flowers

How to Personalize Healing Actions at a Funeral

By christy.kessler Educational, Meaningful Funerals, Personalization, Planning Tools

The funeral is a time to truly honor and remember a loved one’s life, but how can you personalize the service to reflect that special person’s personality, preferences, interests, and uniqueness? According to Dr. Alan Wolfelt, nationally respected grief counselor and author, there are 7 distinct elements to a funeral, and each one can be personalized. Today, let’s talk about how you can incorporate healing actions to personalize a loved one’s final tribute and create an event that is truly special and meaningful.

 First, Why Does Personalization Matter?

“I encourage you to slow down, take a deep breath and focus on what is really important—what is essential—about the funeral you are planning. What is essential is the life that was lived and the impact that life had on family and friends. To honor that unique life, the funeral must also be unique. Over and over, families tell me that the best funerals are those that are personalized.”  – Dr. Alan Wolfelt

A personalized service beautifully and lovingly honors a life. It creates a sweet moment of remembrance, a time to say goodbye, a unique acknowledgement that a person’s life mattered in all the big and small ways. Now, let’s talk about healing actions and their vital role in personalizing a funeral or memorial service!

How to Personalize Healing Actions at a Funeral

During times of grief, healing actions allow us to put our inward feelings into outward action. For example, it’s therapeutic to take flowers to a loved one’s grave or write down what we’re feeling or sit down to chat with a friend about cherished memories. These types of actions help us heal. But how can you incorporate healing actions into a funeral service?

1. Add a group activity

One option is to create an activity that everyone can participate in. For example, provide notecards for mourners to write down memories to share with the grieving family. Create a group photo collage by requesting that people bring a photo of themselves with the person who has died. If your loved one was an RC plane hobbyist, ask their buddies to do a flyover at the graveside service. Set a theme – a favorite color, movie, sports team – and ask mourners to dress accordingly. There are many ways to invite people into healing actions while keeping it simple.

2. Include a release or lighting ceremony

With a release ceremony, the idea is to release something into the sky, as a symbolic way of releasing a loved one’s spirit to heaven. You could choose to release butterflies, doves, or whatever else makes sense for your family (as long as it doesn’t harm the environment). On the other hand, a lighting ceremony allows mourners to light candles of remembrance in honor of the person who has died. Talk with your funeral director about your options and find what works best for your needs.

3. Ask people to participate in specific roles

Throughout the funeral or memorial service, there will be opportunities for people to step in and participate in healing actions. You could ask family or friends to act as eulogists, readers, singers, musicians, or pallbearers. If you plan to host a gathering after the service, consider potluck style and request that people bring dishes. Ask friends to act as greeters or ushers. Active participation will make people feel included and like they truly had a chance to honor that special person.

4. Incorporate traditional healing elements

Finally, there is great comfort in tradition. Feel free to include customary healing actions, like a funeral procession, viewing of the body, visitation, or graveside service. The ultimate goal is that mourners feel they have been part of a proper sendoff and said goodbye in a way that brings peace. Speak with your funeral director about including traditional healing elements in the service so you can decide which ones make the most sense for your loved one’s final tribute.

Questions to Help You Brainstorm

Perhaps ideas are already coming to mind about how you can incorporate healing actions into the final tribute – that’s great! However, for those who may be drawing a blank, here are a few questions to help you brainstorm what kinds of actions you could include at a service.

Did your loved one enjoy a particular sport/activity that could be included?
Is there something special you could release?
Would you like to set a theme?
Were they of a profession where a special tribute could be included (police officer, fireman, veteran, etc.)?

Hopefully, these questions will trigger some ideas for you and give you a good starting place for selecting actions that will not only personalize the funeral but add special meaning. And if you are stumped, your funeral director can help. They are your advocate and guide throughout the funeral planning process. They can provide much-needed assistance when you just aren’t sure what to do next.

For additional inspiration, here are more articles on healing actions that may help:

May 27

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How to Personalize Symbols at a Funeral

By christy.kessler Explore Options, Meaningful Funerals, Personalization, Planning Tools

The funeral is a time to truly honor and remember a loved one’s life, but how can you personalize the service to reflect that special person’s personality, preferences, interests, and uniqueness? According to Dr. Alan Wolfelt, nationally respected grief counselor and author, there are 7 distinct elements to a funeral, and each one can be personalized. Today, let’s talk about how you can use symbols to personalize a loved one’s final tribute and create an event that is truly special and meaningful.

 First, Why Does Personalization Matter?

A personalized service beautifully and lovingly honors life. It creates a sweet moment of remembrance, a time to say goodbye, a unique acknowledgement that a person’s life mattered in all the big and small ways. Now, let’s talk about symbols and their role in personalizing a funeral or memorial service!

How to Personalize Symbols at a Funeral

Symbols are an important aspect of a funeral because they convey love and comfort, facilitate expression, and offer a focus point for the bereaved. Common symbols are an appropriate religious symbol, flowers, personal items, candles, or whatever feels best to honor your loved one.

1. Include appropriate religious symbols

For people of faith, consider including religious symbols at the service. At a Catholic or Protestant Christian funeral, this could mean placing the Bible or a cross in a prominent location. For Jewish funerals, perhaps you could include the Star of David or read meaningful passages from the Torah. Depending on the religion the person followed, there are many possible symbols to incorporate that would honor their beliefs. If the person whose life you want to celebrate wasn’t religious, check out How to Plan a Healing Funeral if You Are Not Religious.

2. Include cultural or traditional elements

Another possible source for symbols is cultural or traditional elements. For example, it’s customary in the United States to place the casket or urn in a place of prominence so that it will be the focal point of a service. Or you could have a funeral procession, which acts as a symbol of respect and final rest. Drape a flag over a veteran’s casket or urn. Also, consider including cultural elements. For example, in many Asian countries, white is the color of mourning. You may choose to include white flowers or white accents to honor that tradition.

3. Turn special items into symbols

If you’d like an even more personal option, you can turn special items into symbols. For one grieving family, an appropriate symbol was the quilts their grandmother made. Before her death, she made a quilt for every child and grandchild, and at her final tribute, the quilts were displayed on the pews – a representation of her love and impact on her family. You could use a prized record collection, personal artwork, or even bring their Harley-Davidson into the venue.

4. Invite guests to participate

If you’d like to add a much broader symbolic element to a loved one’s final tribute, consider inviting guests to participate. You could ask everyone to wear the deceased’s favorite color. If they were a Harry Potter or Star Wars fan, ask people to wear something in that theme. You could ask guests to bring in a favorite photo to add to a group collage set up near the casket or urn. There are so many ways to include others in adding meaningful symbolism to a funeral service.

Questions to Help You Brainstorm

If ideas aren’t coming to mind already, here are a few questions to help you brainstorm what kinds of symbols you could include at a service.

Are there any traditional funeral elements that bring you comfort?
Is there a part of your cultural or religious background that should be included?
Did your loved one collect anything?
Was your loved one part of any groups that have recognizable symbols?
Did their choice of career include any symbols, such as a stethoscope for a doctor?

Hopefully, these questions will trigger some ideas for you and give you a good starting place for choosing symbols that will not only personalize the funeral but add special meaning as well. And if you are stumped, your funeral director can help. They are your advocate and guide throughout the funeral planning process. They can provide much-needed assistance when you just aren’t sure what to do next.

Apr 24

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Microphone ready for eulogy; white and red flowers and chairs in the background

How to Personalize the Eulogy at a Funeral

By christy.kessler Meaningful Funerals, Personalization, Planning Tools

The funeral is a time to truly honor and remember a loved one’s life, but how can you personalize the service to reflect that special person’s personality, preferences, interests, and uniqueness? According to Dr. Alan Wolfelt, nationally respected grief counselor and author, there are 7 distinct elements to a funeral, and each one can be personalized. Today, let’s talk about different ways you can personalize the eulogy and create an event that is truly special and meaningful.

 First, Why Does Personalization Matter?

A personalized service beautifully and lovingly honors life. It creates a sweet moment of remembrance, a time to say goodbye, a unique acknowledgement that a person’s life mattered in all the big and small ways.  Now, let’s talk about eulogies and their vital role in personalizing a funeral or memorial service!

How to Personalize the Eulogy at a Funeral

In many ways, the eulogy may be the single most important aspect of a loved one’s service. It’s a time to acknowledge and affirm the significance of their life. A time to share memories, to reflect on important life lessons, and to celebrate who they were as a unique individual. The eulogy can be delivered by a clergy person, a family member, or even by a series of people, and it’s important to be thoughtful and intentional about the tribute you give.

1. Share cherished memories

When crafting a eulogy, consider what comes to mind when you think about the person who has died. What are your most significant memories with them? If they were a prankster, share their best jokes or tricks. For animal lovers, talk about beloved pets. If there are family memories that bring joy, paint a picture of those moments. Were they a board game enthusiast? Give the audience a retelling of an epic game. You can go many different directions with the eulogy, based on your loved one’s life and the most meaningful moments you shared.

2. Highlight community involvement

Some people are known for their contribution to the community, and it would be remiss not to mention their volunteer work. You might consider also asking fellow volunteers or organization leaders to step up and give a short eulogy. Alternatively, if your loved had a career that positively impacted others, you could invite colleagues to say a few words. No matter where they volunteered or how they gave back to the community, there are people who can speak to that specific aspect of your loved one’s life and honor their commitment and dedication to a cause.

3. Bring visual aids

Another option for personalizing the eulogy is to bring visual aids. This might sound a little odd at first, but visual aids can increase the impact of the eulogy. For example, if you are sharing memories, bring a slideshow of related photos and use them to emphasize your storytelling. Or, if your loved one was an artist, bring a particularly meaningful project with you and share its significance. There are so many items you could bring as visual aids. You could bring anything from crafts like quilts to sports equipment like golf clubs or a fishing pole. The funeral home can even work with you to bring in larger visual aids, such as a motorcycle or something similar.

4. Use your personal talents to create a unique tribute

Sometimes, words aren’t enough, and we must express ourselves in other ways. If you are a songwriter, you could compose a song in honor of your loved one and include it in your eulogy. For those who are more artistic, consider painting, drawing, or building something that showcases your love for the person who has died and share its meaning in the eulogy. Are you a dancer? Choreograph a routine to the tune of your loved one’s favorite song. While the eulogy is about honoring the person who has died, it’s also about your grief journey and how you want to honor their life. Don’t be afraid to use your talents to say goodbye.

Questions to Help You Brainstorm

If ideas aren’t coming to mind already, here are a few questions to help you brainstorm what you could include in a meaningful eulogy at a service.

Are there any memories that are particularly meaningful to you?
Did you and your loved one share a hobby or interest?
Was your loved one involved in community work?
If people were to describe your loved one, what would they say?
Were they passionate about something in particular?
Were they family-famous for anything?

Hopefully, these questions will trigger some ideas for you and give you a good starting place for crafting a eulogy that will honor your loved one’s life beautifully. And if you are stumped, your funeral director can help. They are your advocate and guide throughout the funeral planning process. They can provide much-needed assistance when you just aren’t sure what to do next.

For additional inspiration, here are more articles on eulogies that may help:

Feb 22

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Pallbearers carrying a wooden casket with purple flowers resting on top

How to Personalize the Visitation at a Funeral

By christy.kessler Educational, Explore Options, Meaningful Funerals, Personalization, Planning Tools

The funeral is a time to truly honor and remember a loved one’s life, but how can you use personalization to reflect that special person’s personality, preferences, interests, and uniqueness? According to Dr. Alan Wolfelt, nationally respected grief counselor and author, there are 7 distinct elements to a funeral, and each one can be personalized. Today, let’s talk about how you can personalize the visitation and create an event that is truly special and meaningful.

 First, Why Does Personalization Matter?

A personalized service beautifully and lovingly honors life. It creates a sweet moment of remembrance, a time to say goodbye, a unique acknowledgement that a person’s life mattered in all the big and small ways. Now, let’s talk about the visitation and its role in personalizing a funeral or memorial service!

How to Personalize a Visitation at a Funeral

The viewing or visitation is a time for family, friends, co-workers, and neighbors to gather, to express support, to offer sympathy, and to remember someone loved. Plus, it’s the perfect time for personalization – an opportunity to tell the story of a lifetime. But how would you personalize the visitation?

1. Display Special Items

Every life is unique, so by including special items, you can create a one-of-a-kind remembrance event. You could display photos or mementoes from significant events or vacations. Additionally, you could include items associated with an interest or hobby, like books, artwork, ceramics, or model airplanes. What was your loved one interested in? Use those facets of their life to personalize the visitation.

2. Get Guests Involved

Another option for creating a personalized visitation is to provide opportunities for guests to get involved and share their own special memories and experiences with the deceased. For example, you could provide notecards where they can write down a memory. Or you could bring a portrait, photobook, or even a coffee table book and ask people to write notes of remembrance or record cherished moments. Alternatively, you could create a memorial work of art together, like a thumbprint tree. There are so many possibilities to consider.

3. Decorate on Theme

Another meaningful option to consider is using a theme for the visitation. If your loved one loved the color mint, when you put together the service announcement, ask people to wear that color to the visitation. Or include a refreshments table with mints, chocolate mint cookies, and mint-colored photo frames. For some, a color theme wouldn’t make sense, so consider alternative themes, like sports teams, favorite movies or books, country music, or anything else that reflects your loved one’s unique life.

4. Offer a Keepsake Token

A keepsake is something that family and friends can take home as a special reminder of a loved one. For example, if your loved one was a voracious reader, consider taking some of their books to the visitation with a note, saying, “Susan loved to read. Please take and read one of her books in honor of her memory.” You can do this with recipes, seed packets, postcards, collection items – almost anything! In this way, your loved one’s memory lives on in many homes and hearts.

Questions to Help You Brainstorm

If you’re having trouble coming up with ideas, here are a few questions to help you brainstorm what you can do to personalize the visitation.

Did your loved one collect anything?
Were they passionate about a particular team, hobby, movie, book, or play?
Did they travel? Are there any photos or places they loved?
Were they artistic? If so, you could display completed projects.
Is there a particular color you associate with them?
Did they enjoy baking? Include their family-famous recipes as refreshments.

Hopefully, these questions will trigger some ideas for you and give you a good starting place for identifying ways that you can personalize the visitation to reflect your loved one’s individuality. And if you are feeling overwhelmed, speak with a funeral director. They have personalized many funerals during their career and can offer much-needed assistance when you just aren’t sure what to do next.

Man and woman standing at visitation, honoring a loved one's life

For additional inspiration, here are more articles about personalization that may help: