When honoring a loved one’s life with a meaningful service, it’s important to find ways to tap into the essence of who they were as a person. By adding personalized elements, you can really celebrate and lovingly remember what made them who they were. One way to add a special touch to any final tribute is to choose musical selections and funeral songs that align with your loved one’s personality, beliefs, or preferences.
You may not know where to start when choosing meaningful music, so we’ve compiled a list of funeral songs for your review. You will find songs of many genres – spiritual, classical, rock, country, and more. Browse through the list and review the articles that best fit your loved one’s lifestyle and musical preferences. May you find the perfect songs to salute your loved one’s life and highlight what made them unique and loved.
By Style or Genre
In this section, you will find songs from different types and styles of music. If something appeals to you, simply click on the heading to review the songs.
If your loved one found more comfort in modern praise and worship songs (or enjoyed a range of spiritual genres), these more modern Christian songs could add an element of hope and peace to the service.
Loved by millions around the world, country music has established itself as a musical genre that speaks to the heart in a poignant way. If your loved one had an affinity for country music, check out this list of 12 funeral songs.
Classical music transcends and brings out emotions that are resting just below the service. If your loved one enjoyed classical music or was a classical musician, you might consider including one of these lovely songs in their funeral ceremony.
With songs from multiple genres, this list encourages you to pick what feels like the most appropriate tribute. There’s no right or wrong when choosing music for a loved one’s service. There’s only what reflects who they were as a person.
By Decade
Did your loved one gravitate toward a particular decade of music? That could be another way to choose music to honor your loved one’s life. In this section, you will find beloved songs from each decade that could also serve as a beautiful tribute.
The 1940s saw the beginning of new things in the music industry. The decade included everything from stirring ballads of wartime sorrow to Big Band music and the blossoming careers of artists like Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra. The 1940s offers a bounty of beautiful songs to choose from.
With the rise of artists like Elvis Presley, Nat King Cole, and Buddy Holly, the 1950s introduced a new sound. For loved ones who grew up during this decade or had a particular affinity to it, consider checking out these funeral songs.
With instantly recognizable classics, this list includes popular hits by Ben E. King, Elvis Presley, Johnny Cash, and The Beatles. If you are looking to add a little more groove to a loved one’s final tribute, this list may provide you with a few song ideas.
From Simon & Garfunkel to John Denver, this curated list provides you with 9 stunning options for a celebration of life. Whether your loved one grew up in the 70s or came to appreciate its music later, you are sure to find a song to honor their life in a meaningful way.
The 1980s brought a distinct sound with it, and for many, it’s the anthem of their youth. On this list, you will find heartfelt tunes from Cyndi Lauper, Bette Midler, Queen, and others. Perfect for any 80s aficionado, browse the list to see if anything reflects your loved one’s unique life.
Hopefully, this compilation of musical selections helps you find music that sets the tone for your loved one’s final tribute. And if you’d like more information about personalizing the funeral, check out these resources.
Music is an important element of a funeral ceremony because it helps us process feelings that are difficult to put into words. As Dr. Alan Wolfelt tells us, music imprints itself on our hearts more than any other experience in life. For people of faith, these feelings are often best expressed in hymns, which are songs of devotion or praise to God. If you are looking for timeless songs of faith to honor the life of a loved one, you may want to consider using one of these 10 beautiful hymns.
1. It is Well With My Soul (written by Horatio Gates Spafford, 1873)
When peace like a river attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say,
“It is well, it is well with my soul.”
Spafford’s devout hymn was composed in the midst of great tragedy. In 1873, he and his family planned to visit England via steamship, but Spafford was delayed due to business responsibilities. His wife and four daughters went ahead of him, but tragically, he received a telegram from his wife informing him that their ship had sunk in the Atlantic and their four daughters had all perished.
In the aftermath of the event, Spafford wrote one of the most memorable of all hymns. Devoid of bitterness, the song is a testament to the level of Spafford’s faith even in the worst of times. His firm belief in the return of the Lord, vividly described as a day when the clouds will be “rolled back as a scroll,” is a beautiful sentiment that reminds Christian believers of the true home ahead.
2. Great is Thy Faithfulness (written by Thomas O. Chisolm, 1923)
Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see;
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!
After the loss of a loved one, people often experience disorientation and confusion. How do we respond to loss, and how do we find a way to move forward in our own lives? When a loved one dies, so much changes in our lives, and the natural response is to find something to cling to. For many people, that thing is their faith.
The words of this 20th century hymn provide a reminder that some things are constant in the world. People of faith will find great comfort in singing, “Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not, / As Thou hast been, Thou forever wilt be.” While nothing can take away the pain of loss, this hymn reminds us that some things in life, like God and His love, always stay the same.
3. I Need Thee (written by Annie Hawks and Robert Lowry, 1872)
I need Thee, oh, I need Thee;
Every hour I need Thee;
Oh, bless me now, my Savior!
I come to Thee.
In times of grief and loss, leaning on faith can become even more important. The lyrics say, “Every hour I need thee.” Not monthly, weekly, or daily. Hourly. The speaker requires the assistance of the Lord in every activity and situation to see it through to completion. Every step of the journey is difficult and requires the presence of God.
A cry of devotion in times of hardship, this 19th century favorite touches on themes of perseverance, faith, suffering, and comfort. Funeral attendees may view this song as a request for God’s guidance through every stage of the grief journey. The acknowledgement of God’s presence encourages mourners as they prepare for a new way of life and set out on the road to healing.
4. Abide With Me (written by Henry Francis Lyte, 1847)
Abide with me, fast falls the eventide;
The darkness deepens; Lord, with me abide.
When other helpers fail and comforts flee,
Help of the helpless, O abide with me.
Faced with tuberculosis and the knowledge of his impending death, 54-year-old Henry Francis Lyte used his time of illness as an opportunity to write one of the most beautiful and well-loved of all hymns. Not surprisingly, it has become a popular choice for spiritual funerals.
The fact that Lyte was so close to death’s door makes this reflection on mortality and his personal relationship with God all the more powerful. But the song appeals not only to those nearing the end of their days, but also to mourners who are facing the end of life with their loved one’s presence. Even as “the darkness deepens,” God answers the heartfelt request that He remain near.
5. ‘Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus (written by Louisa Stead, 1882)
‘Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to take Him at His word;
Just to rest upon His promise;
…to know, Thus saith the Lord.
Like most of the hymns on this list, this 19th century classic gives mourners a source of stability, a rock to lean on in times of hardship. Funeral audiences can find peace of mind in the knowledge that the stress, fear, and doubt that often accompany a loss are in the hands of a higher power.
Stead suggests that there is no need to hold on to anything or to assume a heavy burden. Our sole responsibility is “Just from Jesus simply taking, / life, and rest, and joy, and peace.” While this assurance does not eradicate the pain of loss, it does provide some comfort and can serve to alleviate the guilt, frustration, and stress people often wrestle with on the road to healing.
6. Guide Me, O Thou Great Redeemer (written by William Williams, 1745)
Guide me, O thou great redeemer,
Pilgrim through this barren land;
I am weak, but thou art mighty,
Hold me with thy powerful hand.
William Williams frames his most famous hymn in terms of a journey. Throughout all three stanzas, he asks God to guide him on his course. In the first stanza, he is a pilgrim wandering through a barren land. In the second, he uses imagery from Exodus 13, asking God to bring fire and a pillar of cloud to lead the way. And in the third, he is traveling across the Jordan to get to the land of Canaan.
All three images correlate to the path that the mourner takes on his grief journey. Williams’ steadfast reliance on God during times of painful and frightening transition is relatable to mourners, making this three-and-a-half-century-old hymn as timely and relevant as the day it was written.
7. In the Sweet By and By (written by Sanford Fillmore Bennett, 1868)
There’s a land that is fairer than day,
And by faith we can see it afar;
For the Father waits over the way
To prepare us a dwelling place there.
This hopeful and faith-driven song communicates a sense of peace to the listener by drawing upon imagery of another, happier land. For funeral audiences, the song’s words of a faraway shore imply that loved ones are at peace with the Lord. While this knowledge doesn’t take away the pain that mourners feel, it offers some light during a difficult time.
Bennett claims that after death, “Our spirits shall sorrow no more, / Not a sigh for the blessing of rest.” This emphasis on rest and peace encourages loved ones and provides them with inner strength as they work through their grief.
8. Leaning on the Everlasting Arms (written by Anthony J. Showalter and Elisha Hoffman, 1887)
What have I to dread, what have I to fear,
Leaning on the everlasting arms?
I have blessed peace with my Lord so near,
Leaning on the everlasting arms.
When it comes to comforting hymns, this beautiful song of surrender is unmatched. The three stanzas, accompanied by a simple refrain, contain everything that you could want in a song for a religious funeral: a gorgeous melody, a modest length, and reassuring words of peace. Leaning on the Everlasting Arms is to religious hymns what Psalm 23 is to religious writing. It is a perfect lyrical distillation of the human soul’s devotion to God.
For mourners faced with the emotional exhaustion that accompanies the loss of a loved one, it’s a blessing to hear that one can lean on the everlasting arms of God and rest “safe and secure from all alarms.” The theme of security applies equally well to those who are living and to those who have passed on. God’s love and peace is available in the here and now, as well as in the hereafter.
9. Amazing Grace (written by John Newton, 1779)
When we’ve been there ten thousand years,
Bright shining as the sun,
We’ve no less days to sing God’s praise
Than when we’d first begun.
Probably the most famous of all hymns, this song of redemption penned by a slave-trader-turned-abolitionist has captured the hearts of countless Christians. While certain stanzas dealing with sin and repentance may seem less suited to a funeral audience, the song’s reputation as a Christian anthem makes it a great choice for any religious event.
And there’s no doubt that the final stanza, with its beautiful depiction of the afterlife, will speak directly to mourners. Amazing Grace taps into the essence of what it means to believe in God, and the universal love that believers bestow on it indicates that it is a powerful representation of faith. For a funeral ceremony, you may want to consider singing at least a few stanzas of this masterpiece.
10. I’ll Fly Away (written by Albert E. Brumley, 1929)
Just a few more weary days and then,
I’ll fly away;
To a land where joy shall never end,
I’ll fly away.
This extremely popular gospel song speaks to our desire for peace and how death is a time of joy and rest. By framing life’s transience in a positive light, the song encourages us to see the full scope of the story, the larger picture. The troubles and pains of this life are but a tiny moment in time compared to the eternal land that awaits.
The upbeat melody conveys not only joy and peace, but also confidence and steadfastness. “I’ll fly away” is not spoken as a mere possibility but as a true reality. To sing this familiar gospel song in a funeral setting is to feel the pain of absence while simultaneously receiving the assurance that the spirit of a loved one has “flown away” to be with the Lord.
This list is far from comprehensive, so if you didn’t find a hymn that speaks to your heart, that’s okay. Look at songs in your faith tradition. What hymns did your loved one often sing? Are there any hymns that came up often in church or at home? No matter what they are, choose the hymns that best reflect your loved one’s life, personality, and beliefs.
When you lose someone dear to you, grief is a completely normal response. Everybody experiences it. The fact that you are going through feelings of grief means that you had deep emotional ties to the person who has died. For many people, grief starts out intense, and in time, it begins to ebb and flow. But what happens when the intensity of your grief will not subside? What if you find yourself unable to cope, even though many months or years have passed since your loss? It could be that you’ve developed complicated grief, and it’s time to consider the benefits of professional grief therapy.
Is it Complicated Grief?
If you find yourself unable to function in daily life long after the loss of your loved one, you may want to consider the possibility that you are experiencing complicated grief. While grief is a perfectly normal, healthy response to loss, complicated grief is a psychological problem that, if left untreated, can severely impact your quality of life.
Here are several signs of complicated grief to look out for:
Intense sorrow, pain, or pining over the loss, focusing on little else
Problems accepting the reality of the death
Strong attachment to mementos/reminders or a strong avoidance of them
Trouble carrying out normal routines, including personal hygiene
Increasingly isolated and withdrawn
Denial and defensiveness when asked about the grief
Guilt over feeling that they did something wrong, could have prevented the death, or should have died along with the loved one
If you or someone you know is experiencing these symptoms, it’s time to consider getting help from a professional therapist.
How Does Grief Therapy Help?
If you think you may be struggling with complicated grief, professional grief counseling or therapy can be a useful resource for dealing with it. A trained counselor can give you the tools that you need to start enjoying your life again. It is important to realize that counseling is not an attempt to make you forget about the life of your loved one or diminish their legacy. Rather, it is a way to help you accept the reality of their death and make tangible steps toward finding joy in life.
Here are a few ways grief therapy can help:
Inspires Rational Thinking
Counseling can be especially beneficial if you find yourself suffering from extreme guilt, anxiety, or fear. Getting an outside perspective could help you to see when your thoughts become irrational. For instance, if you are someone who blames yourself for the death of a loved one, hearing a fresh perspective might allow you to see things differently. A liberating insight from a therapist could provide just the boost you need to get back to finding joy and meaning in your life.
Helps You Accept the Reality of Loss
Of course, it is unhelpful and unrealistic to believe that we will ever fully “move on” or “recover” from a loss. Even if this state of mind could be achieved, it wouldn’t be desirable. You will always remember the person you love, and the knowledge of their loss will always be painful. This knowledge falls under the category of grief that is considered normal. The pain of loss is part of what it means to love.
But if your thoughts of your loved one border on obsession, and even long after their death you find yourself ignoring everything except those thoughts, then you may be struggling to accept the reality of the loss. Grief therapy can help you get to a place of acceptance and can provide you with advice on how to carry this experience with you as you continue to navigate your life journey.
Encourages You to Honor Your Loved One’s Memory
One of the best ways to work through grief is by confronting the pain of loss. Dr. Alan Wolfelt, a nationally-recognized grief counselor and educator, puts it this way:
“Someone you love has died. In your heart, you have come to know your deepest pain. From my own experiences with loss as well as those of the thousands of people I have counseled over the years, I have learned that we cannot go around the pain of our grief. Instead, we must learn to embrace and express it. This is hard but absolutely necessary work.”
With a trained professional by your side, you can begin to do the hard but necessary work of grief. Honor your loved one’s memory. Confront the things that are holding you back. Find ways to hold onto your loved one’s legacy that are healthy and inspiring. Finding a way forward doesn’t mean forgetting; it means learning how to carry the wound without letting it negatively affect you.
How Do I Know if Counseling is Right for Me?
Studies suggest that people who are struggling with complicated grief respond better to therapy than those who struggle with normal grief. For the grieving, time is the most important factor in the healing process. So how can you know that therapy will be useful for you? At what point can you reasonably estimate that your grief has become complicated?
There’s no definitive answer. You have no way of knowing with absolute certainty if counseling or the mere passage of time will be the best approach for your mental health. But if you feel that a significant amount of time has passed and that you are still unable to cope with daily life, consider giving counseling and therapy a try. At the very least, you’ll have a trained professional to talk to, an experienced person who will listen as you get some things off your chest. This simple step could end up making the biggest difference in your grief journey and your life.
Also, if you are already comfortable with professional counseling, you might consider speaking with a grief counselor or therapist soon after your loss. There’s no need to wait until you are experiencing complicated grief to see someone. You can speak to a professional at any time during your grief journey, and if you do it sooner rather than later, you may prevent complicated grief entirely.
The funeral is a time to truly honor and remember a loved one’s life, but how can you personalize the service to reflect that special person’s personality, preferences, interests, and uniqueness?
You can choose music uniquely suited to your loved one’s interests. You could include readings or symbols or healing actions that are meaningful and tailored to your lost loved one’s preferences. Another way you can personalize the funeral is by choosing a location for the service that fits who they were as a person. Let’s discuss the possibilities.
First, Why Does Personalization Matter?
Dr. Alan Wolfelt, a nationally respected grief counselor and author, believes that personalizing the funeral is critical to honoring a loved one’s life and finding healing after loss. He says:
“I encourage you to slow down, take a deep breath and focus on what is really important—what is essential—about the funeral you are planning. What is essential is the life that was lived and the impact that life had on family and friends. To honor that unique life, the funeral must also be unique. Over and over, families tell me that the best funerals are those that are personalized.”
In a world focused on efficiency and getting things done as quickly as possible, the funeral is a moment to slow down and be thoughtful. When we do things too quickly, they can sometimes feel impersonal and hollow. That’s why personalization is key!
A personalized service beautifully and lovingly honors life. It creates a sweet moment of remembrance, a time to say goodbye, a unique acknowledgement that a person’s life mattered in all the big and small ways.
How to Personalize the Location of a Funeral
Depending on what events you decide to include, you have many options for choosing a unique location. If you have a service, a visitation, and a gathering, you could choose separate places for each. For example, the visitation could take place at the funeral home, the service at your local church, and the gathering at your loved one’s Rotary Club, favorite restaurant, or wherever you wish.
The point of choosing a specific location is to add an extra element of meaningful personalization to the funeral, so it really feels like the best way to honor your loved one’s life.
Here are a few ideas for choosing a personalized location:
1. Choose a convenient place
Sometimes, the easiest and best option is to have the funeral or memorial service at the funeral home itself. Many funeral homes offer beautiful facilities and will let you decorate the room to reflect your loved one’s life. You could include photos, mementoes, cherished possessions, flowers, balloons, whatever seems to appropriately reflect your loved one’s hobbies and interests.
Alternatively, you could choose to host the service in your own or the deceased’s home. While this option is not as popular, it could be convenient for your family and would allow you to have the service in a comfortable environment.
2. Choose a place of worship
For those who are religious, having the service at a place of worship may be the best location for your loved one. Your funeral director will help you coordinate with a local church, synagogue, mosque, or other place of worship. And if it’s allowed, you could also add special touches to that location that will reflect your loved one’s unique life.
3. Choose a place related to their interests
Another option is to select a place that has special meaning to your loved one. If they coached little league, perhaps you could hold part of the ceremony at the local baseball diamond. If they were part of a gardening club, you might be able to host the ceremony at the rose garden. For those who loved the beach, ask friends and family to come to a memorial service at sunset. Again, chat with your funeral director about the options. The funeral home staff will do everything they legally can to make your wishes become reality.
4. Choose a place related to their professional career
For those deeply dedicated to their career or field of study, you could select a location that is significant to their achievements. For example, you could choose to bury a veteran in a national cemetery and have the service there. Or for a mariner, you could opt for a service and burial at sea. For those dedicated to teaching or the medical field, you could possibly hold a ceremony at their university, school, or hospital. While some professional spaces will be off-limits, you never know unless you ask.
No matter what you choose for the location of a funeral, make sure that you add other meaningful touches to the event. These special touches combined will make the service even more touching and healing.
Additional Personalization Resources
If you’d like more information about how to personalize the funeral, give these resources a quick read:
In the United States, black is the color most people commonly associate with grief and mourning. However, that’s not true for all cultures. The color of mourning is often deeply rooted in the history and beliefs of a nation and its people, so let’s see which colors represent mourning around the world.
Black
In addition to the United States, black is the color of mourning in most Western nations as well as some other nations. Wearing black is a symbol of sadness, loss, and death. Writings from Ancient Rome reveal that the tradition of donning black after a death was common even in that day.
And while the color black never went out of use, it became particularly popular during the reign of Queen Victoria. Following the death of her husband, Prince Albert, the Queen spent the next 40 years of her life mourning his death. She commonly wore black or other dark colors to symbolize her deep sense of loss. Her example went on to influence many other nations in Europe and North America, leading to a stronger connection to black as a color of mourning.
Like many Western nations, black is also a common mourning color in Japan, Brazil, and Thailand, to name a few. It’s also quite common to see black worn at Jewish funerals.
White
Another very common funeral color around the world is white, particularly in Asia (China, Cambodia, India, etc.) where the people strongly associate with Buddhism or Hinduism.
Universally, white symbolizes purity, innocence, and rebirth. In Buddhism, white is also representative of reincarnation and the circle of life. Similarly, in Hinduism, white is a symbol of light, goodness, spiritual rebirth, and a new beginning. As these religions base many of their core tenets on the life that comes after death, it’s easy to understand why white – as a symbol of rebirth and new beginnings – would be so important at the funerals of loved ones.
There are also examples of white used for mourning in other parts of the world. For example, in 15th and 16th century France and England, bereaved children and unmarried women often dressed in white instead of black. Also, in indigenous Australia, it’s common practice to wear white body paint to show remorse for the loss of a loved one.
Red
One of the least-used mourning colors, red is nonetheless prevalent in a few countries around the world. In South Africa, mourners wear red, though the origins of the practice are heartbreaking. The color represents the apartheid era and the blood that was shed during those years.
Red is also used in Ghana, but there is a condition. Red (often paired with black) is only worn by the deceased’s immediate family; black or white is worn by all other mourners.
On the other hand, never wear red to a funeral in China. Because of its strong association with happiness, cultural tradition forbids the use of red at Chinese funerals.
Purple
Long connected to spirituality and royalty, purple is used during Easter celebrations to represent the pain and suffering of Christ’s crucifixion. For this reason, many Catholics in Brazil, Guatemala, and other Central or South American countries pair purple with black during times of grief.
In Thailand, purple represents sorrow. The color is worn exclusively by widows following the death of a husband; all other mourners wear black.
What if I Don’t Know What Color to Wear to a Funeral?
As you can see, the culture you live in, and in some cases, the religion you follow can have an impact on the mourning colors that are acceptable and expected. And in some countries, there’s a mix of colors, though black and white are the most common threads.
If you aren’t sure what to wear to a funeral, the best thing to do is ask for guidance. You can reach out to the family, a close friend, or even the funeral director. For example, if you haven’t been to a Jewish funeral, contact someone to learn what clothing would be respectful.
In general, it’s good etiquette to avoid bright colors like orange, yellow, green, and blue. Unless you are attending a funeral where red is appropriate, generally avoid it, too.
Did any of these colors surprise you? It’s fascinating to see how mourning colors develop and understand the role they play in helping us mourn the loss of those we love.
The funeral is a time to truly honor and remember a loved one’s life, but how can you personalize the service to reflect that special person’s personality, preferences, interests, and uniqueness? According to Dr. Alan Wolfelt, nationally respected grief counselor and author, there are 7 distinct elements to a funeral, and each one can be personalized. Today, let’s talk about how you can use the gathering to personalize a loved one’s final tribute and create funeral events that are truly special and meaningful.
First, Why Does Personalization Matter?
“I encourage you to slow down, take a deep breath and focus on what is really important—what is essential—about the funeral you are planning. What is essential is the life that was lived and the impact that life had on family and friends. To honor that unique life, the funeral must also be unique. Over and over, families tell me that the best funerals are those that are personalized.” – Dr. Alan Wolfelt
In a world focused on efficiency and getting things done as quickly as possible, the funeral is a moment to slow down and be thoughtful. When we do things too quickly, they can sometimes feel impersonal and hollow. That’s why personalization is key!
A personalized service beautifully and lovingly honors life. It creates a sweet moment of remembrance, a time to say goodbye, a unique acknowledgement that a person’s life mattered in all the big and small ways. Now, let’s talk about the gathering and how including it after the funeral or memorial service can add beautiful options for creating meaningful moments.
How to Personalize the Gathering at a Funeral
The gathering is an opportunity for friends and family to come together after the funeral service to share stories and to support each other. It’s also the perfect time for personalization! The point of a gathering is to bring people together directly following the service to share stories, remember a loved one, and connect (or reconnect) with people. During times of grief, it’s essential to take time to support each other and swap stories about the beloved person who has died.
1. Choose a meaningful or convenient venue
When choosing the location of a gathering, you have many available options. You could have the gathering at your home, the deceased’s favorite restaurant, park, beach, or wherever you choose. Alternatively, if you’d prefer to keep things simple, many funeral homes offer event centers or gathering spaces that you can decorate to reflect your loved one’s life. This way, there’s no need for anyone to travel anywhere to attend the gathering. If you aren’t sure what to do or have questions, speak with your funeral director. They can help you understand your options.
2. Serve your loved one’s favorite foods
Most of the time, the gathering includes eating good food, seeing good people, and sharing good memories. To make the gathering more personalized, consider serving your loved one’s favorite foods.
That may mean catering from a local restaurant or asking everyone to bring a potluck dish. It could mean serving key lime pie with Pepsi on the side. Perhaps you should include a selection of beef jerky or a potato bar. Maybe your loved one was passionate about bread, so you could order pastries galore from the local bakery.
You know your loved one best – what foods brought them joy? Consider including those at the gathering in their memory.
3. Showcase memories from your loved one’s life
Depending on the venue you choose, you could have a lot of room for creativity. To add special, meaningful touches to the gathering, bring photographs and display them. Perhaps bring a few cherished possessions or mementoes. You could decorate the tables with centerpieces of your loved one’s favorite color, sports team, hobby, or whatever seems best.
The main point? Add elements to the gathering that reflect who your loved one was as a person. Without making it complicated, think about little touches that will make people think, “This would make Joe happy” or “Goodness, Maggie would just smile if she could see this” (insert your loved one’s name).
4. Give guests the opportunity to express their feelings
You can give guests the opportunity to express themselves in many ways. At the funeral service, you may have asked only a few people to give a eulogy, but at the gathering, you could open the floor to others to briefly share memories or sentiments about the person who has died. Alternatively, you could include note cards for people to write down memories. You could give away a remembrance token, like a printed photo of the person who has died or a postcard from their personal collection. There are a variety of options – the only limit is your imagination.
Questions to Help You Brainstorm
If personalization ideas aren’t already coming to mind, here are a few questions to help you brainstorm different ways you could customize the gathering.
Did your loved one have any hobbies or interests you could incorporate?
Is there a particular item or animal they loved?
Was there a book, movie, play, charity, etc., that they particularly enjoyed?
Do you want to give guests the opportunity to publicly share memories?
Is there a meaningful place or just somewhere that brought your loved one joy? And could you host the gathering there?
Hopefully, these questions will trigger some ideas for you and give you a good starting place for finding ways to add meaningful touches to the gathering. And if you are stumped, your funeral director can help. They are your advocate and guide throughout the funeral planning process. They can provide much-needed assistance when you just aren’t sure what to do next.
For more assistance with personalizing the funeral service or the gathering, check out these resources:
There are so many beautiful ways to honor a loved one’s life. Etching their name in the night sky may be one option you’ve never considered. Perfect for an astronomer, sci-fi nerd, or general space enthusiast, it’s possible to name a star after your loved one and keep their memory alive in the night sky for generations to come.
There are several companies that offer star registration, but we aren’t going to talk about all of them. Instead, we will focus on three big ones to give you an idea of what types of services are available.
International Star Registry (ISR)
One of the first companies to offer star registration, ISR has been helping families honor and memorialize loved ones since 1979. They offer a variety of packages for every budget, starting at around $30 and going up to around $200 (prices subject to change). Each package offers the ability to choose your preferred constellation and receive an authentic Star Registry certificate (with additional add-ons depending on the package you select).
Additionally, every star registration is included in the world’s only published catalog of named stars, which is registered with the US Copyright Office and the Library of Congress. The catalog includes coordinates for every star registered.
To learn more about ISR and its mission to help families honor and remember loved ones through the naming of a star, click here to visit their website.
Star Name Registry
With its “Find My Star” app, Star Name Registry gives you the ability to view your star at any time of day or night using your smartphone. They also offer a variety of packages, starting at around $30 and going up to roughly $120 (prices subject to change). Every package comes with a star certificate, welcome letter, star info pack, and app entry. The “star info pack” includes a sky atlas, star location guide, constellation booklet, universe booklet, and an explanation of your star.
The company guarantees your registered star, but if you have concerns, they do offer a 30-day money back guarantee. To learn more about Star Name Registry, click here to visit their website.
Global Star Registry
Based in Sweden, Global Star Registry is available in multiple languages, including English, German, Spanish, amongst others. Similar to ISR (see above), all stars registered through Global Star Registry are recorded with the US Copyright Office.
Packages start around $30 and go up to $94 (prices subject to change). However, if you elect for any of the packages above $30, you will also receive a gift pack. (Other add-ons may also be listed.) The gift pack includes a star certificate, an engraved pendant or keychain, and a sky map.
Are There Other Star Registration Services Out There?
Absolutely! You aren’t limited to these three services if they don’t appeal to you. You could check out Online Star Register, Name a Star, or Starify, for example.
As you research which star registration service to use, here are some important things to consider:
Does the company offer a package that suits your budget?
Do the add-ons appeal to you?
Is your star registered with the US Copyright Office (if that’s important to you)?
Do they offer returns or a money-back guarantee if you should change your mind?
Is the company transparent and clear on what you will receive?
Does the company offer clear ways to reach out for customer support?
A Quick Note on Star Registration
Naming a star in memory of a loved one is a beautiful way to keep their memory alive. It will blaze in the night sky forever. However, it’s important to note that no one legally owns outer space. Any naming of stars is for sentimental purposes only. Your star registration exists on paper and does not affect the star’s official name with the International Astronomical Union (IAU). The IAU officially tracks the scientific names of all stars and celestial bodies.
If you decide that naming a star in your loved one’s honor is a meaningful way to remember them, may you find comfort, peace, and joy each time you see them shining brightly on the darkest nights.
*DISCLAIMER: We do not endorse any of these companies; we are merely stating the options available to you when honoring a loved one by naming a star.
You may not usually associate funeral homes and technology with each other, but that’s changing! In recent years, funeral homes have been working hard to add new and updated technology to their offerings. As technology becomes more and more prevalent in every aspect of our daily lives, it’s essential that the funeral industry keep up and change with it. By taking the best of the classical funeral experience and fusing it with the latest technological innovations, funeral homes can help families craft even more meaningful ceremonies to honor their loved ones.
But what are some technological updates you may find at a funeral home?
Slideshows and Memorial Tribute Videos
Previously, physical photographs of the deceased were displayed near the casket, but now, it’s very common to see a slideshow or a memorial tribute video at a funeral. Video and music capabilities have increased the level of personalization in the average funeral. Clips of the deceased or favorite songs are played to capture the spirit of a loved one. These developments illustrate technology’s potential to enrich a ceremony and aid in the grieving process.
However, you can still place physical photos and mementoes at the service to add meaningful touches to the funeral’s personalization. The slideshow or memorial tribute video doesn’t have to replace physical photos – but the video can enhance your ability to tell your loved one’s story by allowing you to share more photos in chronological order.
Livestreaming the Service
Another innovation is the ability to livestream a funeral or memorial service. While it’s always best to participate in person when possible, livestreaming can be very useful in some circumstances because it allows people with mobility issues or who live in distant places to connect.
For example, if a family member or friend is overseas and unable to attend the service, sharing a livestream link would allow them to participate from a distance. And with more families spread out across the United States, livestreaming has become a much more common practice in funerals today.
Up-to-Date Websites
With advances in website design and easier accessibility, many funeral homes have made the leap into up-to-date, easy-to-navigate websites. These websites often contain obituaries, grief resources, aftercare information, and online forms for prearranging funerals. Sometimes, you can even use the funeral home website to send flowers to those who are grieving.
Take a couple of minutes to visit your local funeral home’s website to see what services they offer and what resources they provide. You may be surprised at the variety of information available.
Social Media Presence
Social media has really changed the game for honoring and remembering loved ones. Not only can families access a loved one’s account to post a meaningful final tribute post, but their extended family and friends can comment to show how much that special person touched their lives.
On top of that, many funeral homes now also have Facebook or Instagram accounts where they post obituaries, local events, funeral education information, and much more. If you follow a funeral home’s social media accounts, you can also learn about various topics related to funerals, from preplanning resources to special promotions and events they’re hosting.
Online Funeral Planning
With advances in technology, many funeral homes are now able to offer families an online experience. Because we are used to doing most things online, this service facilitates more efficient communication between families and funeral directors. Rather than having a paper file with your name on it, there’s a complete digital file where everything is recorded.
Additionally, some funeral homes now offer the option to purchase funeral packages online. In this way, if you’d prefer, you can take care of everything online from the comfort of home. Of course, funeral home staff are ready and willing to answer any questions you may have. They are often open to house calls, if that’s easier for you.
Online Payments
In addition to being able to plan the funeral online, many funeral homes now offer the option to pay online, as well. Using an accepted form of currency (ex: credit or debit card), you can easily pay online as seamlessly as you would on any internet site.
Please note: paying online is not available at all funeral homes. Please ask your preferred funeral home what their payments options are and whether you can pay online.
AI Writer Assistance
We’ve all seen AI coming into greater use recently. Some aren’t too thrilled about it, while others are fully embracing AI and its capabilities. For the funeral profession, perhaps the biggest impact AI has had is in writing obituaries. For the family who doesn’t feel comfortable with their writing skills or just wants a quick double-check, AI writing applications can help. Some funeral homes may offer the services of a staff member, and if so, go for it! Otherwise, you could explore whether using AI would be useful to you and your family.
Continuing Innovation
Exciting advances are regularly being made in the technological world. And as funeral homes adopt these advances, they can better serve their clients. It’s exciting to see how future technology will enhance our ability to honor and remember loved ones.
To learn what technology is available in your area, give your local, trusted funeral home a call. The knowledgeable staff will be happy to discuss how technology can assist you in creating a meaningful ceremony.
With the introduction of the internet, estate planning became a smidge more complicated than it used to be. Why? Because now we must take our digital (online) estate into account when creating an estate plan. However, there are ways to keep it simple! Today, let’s talk about Google accounts, the Inactive Account Manager, and how you can set up your Google accounts to be accessible when the unexpected happens.
What is the Inactive Account Manager?
The Inactive Account Manager allows you to give someone else access to your Google accounts if you become inactive. Generally speaking, if a Google account isn’t used for two years, then Google considers it inactive. At that time, Google will begin emailing you, and if there’s no response after a period of time, they will automatically delete your accounts.
However, if you set up “Trusted Contact(s)” (up to 10 people) through the Inactive Account Manager, they will get emails about your inactive account, have access to it, and can save any files, photos, videos, etc. that would otherwise be lost. During the set-up process, you will set permissions on what type of information each Trusted Contact can access.
What qualifies as a Google account?
Google is a big company, responsible for many types of accounts you may be familiar with. For example, do you have a Gmail email address? Do you have a YouTube account? Google Photos? Google Drive? There’s also Google Meet, Google Maps, or the Google Play Store. And this isn’t even the full list. So, if you use Google products, anything you have saved could be deleted should you become inactive.
What does Google consider “inactivity”?
There are many actions you can take to let Google know that you are still alive and active. These include:
As long as you complete an action like one of these, Google will consider you active. And your activity is tracked by account – not device. So, if you are active on your laptop one day and your phone the next, as long as both are signed into your Google account, it will be recorded as activity.
However, if you have more than one Google account, you’ll need to be active in each one individually to avoid inactivity alerts.
What if I’m inactive but not deceased?
Before emailing your Trusted Contact, Google will first attempt to contact you several times. If you are still alive and well, you can access your accounts to create some activity. Doing so will prevent any emails from being sent to your Trusted Contact(s). However, if there’s no response from you, Google will email your Trusted Contact(s).
What type of notification will my Trusted Contact(s) receive?
When you set up your Inactive Account Manager, you will be asked when you want Trusted Contact(s) to be notified. Google defaults to two years of inactivity, but you can choose a shorter time period, if you wish.
When that time period passes, your Trusted Contact(s) will receive an email notification. This email will contain a Subject Line and personal message written by you (during the set-up phase) as well as a footer explaining that Google is sending the email on your behalf. The email will also include a list of data that the Trusted Contact has access to view.
When your Trusted Contact(s) logs into your account, their identity will be verified before they are given access. And of course, let whomever you choose know that you have selected them as your Trusted Contact(s). This way, the email won’t be confusing to them or feel out of the blue.
What happens if I don’t set up an Inactive Account Manager?
First, Google will attempt to reach you by sending multiple emails to your Gmail address and to any recovery email you added when the account was created. If there’s no response from you, your Google accounts will be deleted, and any files will be lost. If that’s your preference, then there’s no need to set up an Inactive Account Manager.
However, if you’d like your family to have time to download any files, photos, or videos before they are deleted, then you might consider setting up an Inactive Account Manager. Or, on the flip side, if your family would like access to your files (even if you don’t care), it can be a big hassle for them to try to request access after your death. By being proactive about giving them access, you save a lot of time and headaches.
Why does Google delete old accounts?
It’s mostly for security reasons. Older accounts are more likely to become compromised, making them susceptible to spam or malicious intent. To prevent misuse, Google monitors activity and deletes inactive accounts.
How do I set up an Inactive Account Manager?
When you create a Google account, the Inactive Account Manager function is dormant. You must set it up manually. This way you have control over who accesses your data if you become incapacitated or pass away.
To set up your Google Inactive Account Manager, get on one of your electronic devices (phone, tablet, laptop) and click https://myaccount.google.com/inactive. Google will prompt you to sign in (if you aren’t already) and will walk you through the set-up process.
During the set-up process, you can expect to:
Choose an inactive period (instead of Google’s default of two years, you can choose a shorter timeframe to be contacted about inactivity)
Add relevant details, like your phone number, email address, and recovery email address
Add the name, email address, and phone number of your Trusted Contacts (up to 10 people; they do not have to have a Google email address)
Select which services each Trusted Contact has access to (you control what they can see)
Write out your custom auto-reply message (your Trusted Contacts will receive this message if your account becomes inactive)
Review and confirm your preferences
In the future, if you decide you’d no longer like to use the Inactive Account Manager and would prefer that Google just delete your account, you can go to the Inactive Account Manager page again and select “Turn off my plan” under the “Manage your plan” section. There’s also an “Edit” section if you want to update your auto-reply email or change your Trusted Contacts.
I’ve set up my Inactive Account Manager – what’s next?
Now, as with any part of your estate plan, it’s time to write down what you’ve done and update things when needed. Circumstances and relationships are constantly changing, so whether it’s your legal will, your beneficiaries, or your Inactive Account Manager, visit your selections every few years to make sure you still agree with your previous choices.
Additional Estate Planning Resources
In addition to looking after your Google accounts, you most likely have other online accounts that should be considered when setting up an estate plan. To help you through the process, here are a few additional resources you may find beneficial.
After the death of a loved one, you may feel a little (or a lot) stressed, worried, sad, anxious, or depressed. Thankfully, art therapy is a proven relaxation method, and it’s easily accessible. With art therapy, you engage in creative activities, like journaling, singing, dancing, and yes, even coloring. In recent studies, it was discovered that coloring can reduce stress, depression, anxiety, and even blood pressure. All of these are excellent reasons to consider purchasing an adult coloring book and adding a little creativity to your grief journey.
Each of these 10 adult coloring books focuses specifically on grief and offering encouragement and solace for the hurting heart. Let’s take a look.
1. Remember Grief is Love
With 50 different floral designs, this coloring book will act as a comforting tool throughout the grief journey. Filled with encouraging quotes and therapeutic images, this coloring book is perfect of anyone who is grieving – friend, mother, husband, or even yourself. It is printed on premium white paper with large font and is available in either paperback or hardback.
2. Grief: Spiritual & Comforting Coloring Book for Teens & Adults
In this coloring book, you will find 35 different designs. Their images range from delightful landscapes, to flowers, animals, and inspiring quotes. And for those who also like to write down their thoughts, journaling space is provided throughout the book. This will give you space to share any memories that arise as you color. Another bonus – each page is backed with black paper to prevent distracting bleed-through!
“Grief in Color” is quite versatile, including 100 pages of encouraging quotes, beautiful coloring pages, and journal writing prompts. With its compact design (a 6×9 inch notebook), you can easily carry it with you wherever you go. The coloring pages do include black backing to assist with bleed-through. As you work through its pages, this coloring book will help you calm your mind and really engage with your feelings of grief.
4. My Healing Journey: 29 Coloring Affirmations for a Grieving Heart
Created after the loss of a very dear friend, the author says that for her and her daughter “the simple act of coloring, with its steady strokes and vibrant hues, became a haven for us — a way to bond, reflect, and begin the journey of healing.” With its 29 illustrated affirmations, this coloring book will provide a comforting refuge when the waves of grief come crashing in. There’s plenty of space on each page for you to color, and the single-sided pages allow you to color with any medium – pens, pencils, or even markers.
For those who find comfort in the Book of Psalms, this coloring book may be for you. With 60 full-size coloring pages, the quotes included are well-known and beloved messages of peace and rest for the weary. There are even two pages of small cards you can color, cut, and share with friends! With its single-sided pages made from thick cardstock, feel free to get as creative as you want on the journey toward healing.
Losing your mom can be an absolutely devastating loss. Oftentimes, moms have been by your side for your entire life and to move forward without them may feel impossible. With its comforting messages, this coloring book will help you honor and remember your mom, allowing you to express the love and loss that you feel. It consists of 24 coloring pages that give you space to personalize your experience by adding notes, pictures, or even drawings.
Written by the same author as “Remembering Mom,” this coloring book instead focuses on the special relationship between a father and his children. Whether you are grieving the loss of a father, grandfather, or father figure, the whimsical designs will help you process the grief you are feeling after losing a dad you love. Additionally, the pages are set up to allow you to frame and display any designs that bring particular comfort.
In this book, you will find quotes and verses combined with a whimsical illustration style. Its 50 coloring pages are designed to provide a comforting, healing, and relaxing experience. You will have time to thoughtfully reflect on the loss you’ve gone through and remember the person you love. Coloring will not stop the pain you are feeling. But it can help ease it by allowing you to creatively express what you’re feeling in a safe and private space.
9. My Grief Journey: Coloring Book and Journal (for Grieving Parents)
Losing a child is one of the most difficult things a parent will ever face. Author Laura Diehl knows that personally. In this coloring book, she uses her own experience of child loss to provide comfort and insight to other parents going through the unimaginable. With a strong emphasis on the Holy Bible and her faith, Diehl uses hand-drawn art and journal prompts to help parents do the work of grief and find a way to move forward following the death of a child.
In this book designed by a grief counselor, you will find 40 lovely designs intended to help you quiet your mind and confront the pain of loss in a way that is both kind and productive. The grief journey takes time – there is no specific timeline. As you journey toward healing, this coloring book will offer a place of contemplation, solitude, and reflection that will bring more peace to your everyday life.
Healing after loss takes time. However, with so many coloring books to choose from, you are sure to find solace and encouragement for many weeks, months, or even years, to come.
Whatever you decide, the benefits of coloring will remain the same. Simply choose what seems best to you and use coloring to strengthen your heart and mind for the grief journey ahead.
*Funeral Basics does not receive commission for or endorse any of the affiliated product links.
