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Feb 22
Love0
Pallbearers carrying a wooden casket with purple flowers resting on top

How to Personalize the Visitation at a Funeral

By Educational, Explore Options, Meaningful Funerals, Personalization, Planning Tools

The funeral is a time to truly honor and remember a loved one’s life, but how can you use personalization to reflect that special person’s personality, preferences, interests, and uniqueness? According to Dr. Alan Wolfelt, nationally respected grief counselor and author, there are 7 distinct elements to a funeral, and each one can be personalized. Today, let’s talk about how you can personalize the visitation and create an event that is truly special and meaningful.

Pallbearers carrying a wooden casket with purple flowers resting on top

 First, Why Does Personalization Matter?

“I encourage you to slow down, take a deep breath and focus on what is really important—what is essential—about the funeral you are planning. What is essential is the life that was lived and the impact that life had on family and friends. To honor that unique life, the funeral must also be unique. Over and over, families tell me that the best funerals are those that are personalized.”  – Dr. Alan Wolfelt

In a world focused on efficiency and getting things done as quickly as possible, the funeral is a moment to slow down and be thoughtful. When we do things too quickly, they can sometimes feel impersonal and hollow. That’s why personalization is key!

A personalized service beautifully and lovingly honors life. It creates a sweet moment of remembrance, a time to say goodbye, a unique acknowledgement that a person’s life mattered in all the big and small ways. Now, let’s talk about the visitation and its role in personalizing a funeral or memorial service!

African American man placing his hand on a loved one's casket at a funeral

How to Personalize a Visitation at a Funeral

The viewing or visitation is a time for family, friends, co-workers, and neighbors to gather, to express support, to offer sympathy, and to remember someone loved. Plus, it’s the perfect time for personalization – an opportunity to tell the story of a lifetime. But how would you personalize the visitation?

1. Display Special Items

Every life is unique, so by including special items, you can create a one-of-a-kind remembrance event. You could display photos or mementoes from significant events or vacations. Additionally, you could include items associated with an interest or hobby, like books, artwork, ceramics, or model airplanes. What was your loved one interested in? Use those facets of their life to personalize the visitation.

2. Get Guests Involved

Another option for creating a personalized visitation is to provide opportunities for guests to get involved and share their own special memories and experiences with the deceased. For example, you could provide notecards where they can write down a memory. Or you could bring a portrait, photobook, or even a coffee table book and ask people to write notes of remembrance or record cherished moments. Alternatively, you could create a memorial work of art together, like a thumbprint tree. There are so many possibilities to consider.

Person holding a pen and writing a message on a notecard

3. Decorate on Theme

Another meaningful option to consider is using a theme for the visitation. If your loved one loved the color mint, when you put together the service announcement, ask people to wear that color to the visitation. Or include a refreshments table with mints, chocolate mint cookies, and mint-colored photo frames. For some, a color theme wouldn’t make sense, so consider alternative themes, like sports teams, favorite movies or books, country music, or anything else that reflects your loved one’s unique life.

4. Offer a Keepsake Token

A keepsake is something that family and friends can take home as a special reminder of a loved one. For example, if your loved one was a voracious reader, consider taking some of their books to the visitation with a note, saying, “Susan loved to read. Please take and read one of her books in honor of her memory.” You can do this with recipes, seed packets, postcards, collection items – almost anything! In this way, your loved one’s memory lives on in many homes and hearts.

Small pile of postcards

Questions to Help You Brainstorm

If you’re having trouble coming up with ideas, here are a few questions to help you brainstorm what you can do to personalize the visitation.

  • Did your loved one collect anything?
  • Were they passionate about a particular team, hobby, movie, book, or play?
  • Did they travel? Are there any photos or places they loved?
  • Were they artistic? If so, you could display completed projects.
  • Is there a particular color you associate with them?
  • Did they enjoy baking? Include their family-famous recipes as refreshments.

Hopefully, these questions will trigger some ideas for you and give you a good starting place for identifying ways that you can personalize the visitation to reflect your loved one’s individuality. And if you are feeling overwhelmed, speak with a funeral director. They have personalized many funerals during their career and can offer much-needed assistance when you just aren’t sure what to do next.

Man and woman standing at visitation, honoring a loved one's life

For additional inspiration, here are more articles about personalization that may help:

Feb 16
Love0
Man holding an open book

How to Personalize Readings at a Funeral

By Educational, Explore Options, Meaningful Funerals, Personalization, Planning Tools

The funeral is a time to truly honor and remember a loved one’s life, but how can you personalize the service to reflect that special person’s personality, preferences, interests, and uniqueness? According to Dr. Alan Wolfelt, nationally respected grief counselor and author, there are 7 distinct elements to a funeral, and each one can be personalized. Today, let’s talk about how you can use readings to personalize a loved one’s final tribute and create an event that is truly special and meaningful.  

Open hardback book with blue spine

 First, Why Does Personalization Matter?  

“I encourage you to slow down, take a deep breath and focus on what is really important—what is essential—about the funeral you are planning. What is essential is the life that was lived and the impact that life had on family and friends. To honor that unique life, the funeral must also be unique. Over and over, families tell me that the best funerals are those that are personalized.”  – Dr. Alan Wolfelt 

In a world focused on efficiency and getting things done as quickly as possible, the funeral is a moment to slow down and be thoughtful. When we do things too quickly, they can sometimes feel impersonal and hollow. That’s why personalization is key!  

A personalized service beautifully and lovingly honors life. It creates a sweet moment of remembrance, a time to say goodbye, a unique acknowledgement that a person’s life mattered in all the big and small ways. Now, let’s talk about readings and their vital role in personalizing a funeral or memorial service!  

Man holding an open book

How to Personalize Readings at a Funeral

Readings are a way to invite mourners to express their emotions while also honoring the unique spirit of the one who has died. They add a deeper dimension to the service and allow you to engage together through the power of words. Sometimes, the right words don’t come to mind, but a book, a poem, or a verse can express the heart much more eloquently.

1. Recite quotes from favorite books, plays, poems, movies, or TV shows

When using literary or entertainment sources to personalize a service, consider what your loved one enjoyed. Did they love Emily Dickinson poems? Read a few. Did they regularly quote Star Trek or The Princess Bride? Take those quotes and turn them into a tribute. Is there a poem that has always reminded you of your loved one? Read the poem and share how it reflects that special person’s life or personality.

2. Include select passages from an appropriate holy book

For loved ones who lived out a deep faith, consider including select passages from the holy book they cherished. When a loved one dies, those left behind to mourn sometimes have a crisis of faith. They search for meaning and ask questions like, “What is the meaning of life?” “Should I do things differently?” “What happens next?” Faith can bring comfort when things feel out of control. Plus, including religious quotations can honor and respect that aspect of your loved one’s life.

Person sitting outside, writing on a pad of paper

3. Share something you have written to honor a loved one

If you enjoy writing or feel inspired, consider putting your thoughts and feelings on paper. Whether you compose a letter, a poem, an essay, or a haiku, you can use your own words to honor a loved one’s memory. Of course, the topic of your composition is entirely up to you, but feel free to be creative. And don’t forget to have someone else review your work before you read it at the service. It’s always a good idea to have a second set of eyes on any written text – just in case.

4. Read excerpts of your loved one’s personal writing

On the flip side, was your lost loved one a writer? If it feels appropriate, consider sharing excerpts of their own words. This is a beautiful way to highlight their personality and the unique perspective they had about the world. Sometimes, when a person has a terminal illness, they may write their own obituary or a letter or a poem about their experience. These writings may also be meaningful to share at a personalized service.

Young woman sitting at a table at home, listening to music and writing

Questions to Help You Brainstorm

If poems, quotes, or other reading selections aren’t coming to mind already, here are a few questions to help you brainstorm what kinds of readings you could include at a service.  

  • Did your loved one love any certain book, movie, poem, or TV show?
  • Were they known to quote anything regularly?
  • Did they have any favorite author, poet, or writer?
  • Were they a writer themselves – either personal or published?
  • Is there a literary or entertainment piece that always reminds you of them?

Hopefully, these questions will trigger some ideas for you and give you a good starting place for selecting readings that will not only personalize the funeral but add special meaning as well. And if you are stumped, your funeral director can help. They are your advocate and guide throughout the funeral planning process. They can provide much-needed assistance when you just aren’t sure what to do next.  

For additional inspiration, here are more articles on readings that may help: 

Jan 31
Love0

How to Personalize Music at a Funeral

By Educational, Explore Options, Meaningful Funerals, Personalization, Planning Tools

The funeral is a time to honor and remember a loved one’s life, but how can you personalize the service to reflect that person’s personality, preferences, interests, and uniqueness? According to Dr. Alan Wolfelt, nationally respected grief counselor and author, there are 7 distinct elements to a funeral, and each one can be personalized. Today, let’s talk about how you can use music to personalize a loved one’s final tribute and create an event that is truly special and meaningful.

Older man playing a violin

 First, Why Does Personalization Matter?

“I encourage you to slow down, take a deep breath and focus on what is really important—what is essential—about the funeral you are planning. What is essential is the life that was lived and the impact that life had on family and friends. To honor that unique life, the funeral must also be unique. Over and over, families tell me that the best funerals are those that are personalized.”  – Dr. Alan Wolfelt

In a world focused on efficiency and getting things done as quickly as possible, the funeral is a moment to slow down and be thoughtful. When we do things too quickly, they can sometimes feel impersonal and hollow. That’s why personalization is key!

A personalized service beautifully and lovingly honors life. It creates a sweet moment of remembrance, a time to say goodbye, a unique acknowledgement that a person’s life mattered in all the big and small ways. Now, let’s talk about music and its vital role in personalizing a funeral or memorial service!

Banjo laying on top of sheet music

How to Personalize Music at a Funeral

Music sets the tone of a funeral or memorial service and brings emotions to the forefront. In fact, one of the purposes of a funeral is to allow mourners to grieve together, and in many ways, music says what words cannot. We often shy away from our emotions, but don’t be afraid to invite people to express their grief. Consider using music as an avenue to bring out what people are thinking and feeling. Plus, you can add a deeply personal touch by selecting music that was dear to the person who has died.  

1. Choose songs that are meaningful, no matter their musical genre

Traditionally, hymns and other religious songs are often played at a funeral, but that doesn’t have to be the case. To add a personal touch, instead choose songs that are meaningful to you or to the loved one who has died. Did they love Fleetwood Mac? Play “Gypsy.” Did they always sing “You are My Sunshine” to the grandkids? Then, find your favorite version and play it. There’s no right or wrong genre of music for a funeral. There’s simply what is meaningful to you and your family.

2. Decide between live music or recorded music

For the grieving process, there’s no difference between going with live or recorded music, so it’s entirely up to your preference. Was your loved one part of a barbershop quartet? Ask their fellow quartet members to sing a number. Do you have a musically talented family member? Then you might consider asking them to perform live. Alternatively, you can create a digital playlist of songs that will play during the gathering or visitation. And if you want to do a mix of live and recorded music, go for it! The funeral director will help you coordinate all the fine details of the service.

Person holding a smartphone that displays a digital music playlist

3. Include songs that honor personal or religious beliefs

As you plan a funeral or memorial service, you should keep your loved one’s preferences at the front of your mind. If they were a religious person, consider including hymns or praise songs. If they were a veteran, perhaps play their military branch’s official song, such as “Anchors Aweigh” for the Navy or “The Army Goes Rolling Along” for the Army. Consider the organizations your loved one was involved with – are there any songs that would be a meaningful addition to the service?

4. Share clips of your loved one’s musical talents

If your loved one was musically talented themselves, consider finding a way to include their musical giftings at the service. Do you have recordings of them singing or playing an instrument? Incorporate that footage into a memorial tribute video. Alternatively, you can play any recordings during the service or visitation. Did they write lyrics or put together musical arrangements? Play those songs. If you aren’t sure how to include a loved one’s musical stylings at the service, speak with your funeral director. They can help you brainstorm ideas.

Woman in church choir singing a solo

Questions to Help You Brainstorm

If songs haven’t already started popping into your head, here are a few questions to help you brainstorm which songs to include at a service.

  • Did your loved one play any songs over and over again?
  • Did they have any favorite artists?
  • Were they known for singing any particular songs?
  • Did they have a favorite instrument?
  • Did they have a preferred music genre (classical, rock, Motown, etc.)?
  • Is there a song that always reminds you of them?

Hopefully, these questions will trigger some ideas for you and give you a good starting place for selecting music that will not only personalize the funeral but add special meaning as well. And again, if you are stumped, look to your funeral director. They are your advocate and guide throughout the funeral planning process. They can provide much-needed assistance when you just aren’t sure what to do next.

Music sheets folded into half circles

For additional inspiration, here are more articles on music that may help:

Jan 17
Love0
Woman holding a credit card while sitting on her couch

5 Ways to Avoid Emotional Overspending on a Funeral

By Educational, Explore Options, Plan Ahead

Have you ever bought something because of your emotions, like sadness, anxiety, or stress? Most of us have used purchasing to make us feel better. In fact, as many as 69% of Americans say that their feelings have influenced their spending at one time or another.

Because the days following the death of a loved one are often filled with sadness, anxiety, or stress, it’s not uncommon for a family to emotionally overspend when making funeral arrangements. But there are ways to ensure that you honor and celebrate a loved one’s life personally and meaningfully without emotionally overspending.

Let’s look at 5 ways to prevent emotional overspending when planning a funeral for someone you love.

Woman in pink cardigan sitting at table at home making a budget

1. Set a Budget

After the death of a loved one, you will attend an arrangement conference at the funeral home. At this meeting, you will sit down with a funeral director and discuss all available options. It’s a time to ask questions, become familiar with the possibilities, and discover the best way to honor your loved one’s life.

However, before you head into the meeting, look at your finances. What type of budget are you working with? Are there any family members who can chip in to help you pay for funeral expenses? Did the deceased have a funeral insurance policy, a final expense plan, or a life insurance policy? With a little advance preparation, you can set a budget to guide your decisions as you speak with a funeral director.

Woman holding a credit card while sitting on her couch

2. Give Yourself Time to Think

Some people are more open about discussing death than others. But if your loved one never told you what kind of service they wanted, you’re left to make all the decisions on your own. Because you love them deeply, your first impulse may be to buy the absolute best of everything. The most expensive casket. The top-of-the-line engraving. The cemetery plot with the best location.

If you want these things for your loved one, go for it! However, if they don’t fit into your budget, take a day to think about it. If, after 24 hours, you decide you’d like to go all out, the funeral director will help you do that and pull out all the stops. On the other hand, if you decide to make some adjustments to the plan, the funeral director will offer solutions that will both honor your loved one and more closely align with your budget.

Older man with gray beard holding up hands as he says no to something

3. Resist Social Pressure

All kinds of external sources inform our decisions. “I need that dress because it’s ‘in’ this year.” “I should drive a sports car because that’s what people do who have it made.” “My sibling had a big wedding; I should, too.” When planning a funeral, don’t feel like you need to keep up with the Joneses. That can be very expensive, and what’s right for one person may not be right for another.

So, as you decide how to honor your loved one’s life, keep their life at the forefront of your mind. Were they an outgoing or quiet person? Did they like big parties or close gatherings? Did they like to eat? Ride horses? Crochet? Golf? Work with their hands? Read? Thinking about their personality and their life decisions will help you decide how best to honor their memory at a funeral.

Man and woman sitting down with a professional to discuss

4. Take a Level-Headed Friend with You

If you know you’re not in the best state of mind following a loved one’s death, consider taking a level-headed friend with you to the arrangement conference. Choose someone you trust who isn’t directly affected by the death. Their steadiness will help settle your emotions and possibly protect you from making an impulse decision. On top of that, they may think of questions or solutions you don’t because their mind is not clouded by grief.

Man and wife talking with professional in the comfort of their home

5. Plan Ahead for Funeral Wishes

While these tips will help you prevent emotional overspending at a time of loss, the best way to prevent emotional overspending is to prepare in advance. If you have communicated your funeral wishes to family and friends, then they know exactly what you want and won’t be left wondering on the day they plan the funeral.

You might also consider pre-funding your funeral plan. Funeral homes offer prepaid funeral insurance policies that allow you to pay for a funeral in advance. Essentially, you decide what kind of funeral you want, the funeral home gives you a cost estimate, and once you’re satisfied, you sign up for an insurance policy. Over the next several years, you pay premiums until the insurance policy is paid in full. This way, all your wishes are outlined and fully paid for when the time comes. Your family just needs to choose a time and date for the services. And there’s no need to worry about emotional overspending!

Whether you pre-fund your funeral or simply record your funeral wishes, your family will be able to make good financial decisions at a time of loss because they know what you wanted.

Husband and wife sitting on couch at home as they speak with a funeral professional

If planning ahead for funeral wishes is a new concept for you or you’re skeptical, check out these resources for additional information:

Hopefully, these 5 suggestions will you avoid emotional overspending as you plan a loved one’s final tribute. Remember, the funeral directors and funeral home staff are there to serve you. They don’t make decisions – you do! Share your ideas and preferences, ask questions, and consider all the options. The funeral director will work with you and offer affordable options that meet your budget AND honor your loved one.

Dec 20
Love0
Wooden casket with spray of white flowers on top

A Quick Guide to Oversized Caskets

By Explore Options, Planning Tools

Wooden casket with spray of white flowers on top

While you may have known that caskets come in different colors and are made from many kinds of materials, did you know that there are also oversized caskets available? In this quick guide, we’ll discuss what oversized caskets are, why you might need one, and other basic questions about their use.

Let’s get started!

 What is an oversized casket?

As the name implies, an oversized casket is one that’s larger than the standard size. A standard casket measures 84” long, 28” wide, and 23” high. However, oversized caskets typically range in width from 29 inches to 44 inches, depending on the need. If an even larger or longer casket is needed, a custom casket can be ordered.

Man in black suit holding white rose as he stands next to casket

Why would you need an oversized casket?

There are two main reasons why an oversized casket might be needed: a person’s weight or height.

Depending on the casket, most standard caskets can only support a weight of up to around 350 pounds. If the person weighs more than their chosen casket can support, then an oversized version of that casket may be needed.

In the same way, if a person is more than 7 feet tall, an oversized casket would better fit the needs of the individual. In some cases, a tall person’s legs may be bent at the knee enough to allow them to fit in a standard casket, but there are times when an oversized casket is the better option.

Your funeral director can help you determine whether an oversized casket is needed based on the deceased’s weight and/or height.

Procession as pallbearers carry casket into church for funeral service

How do they determine if an oversized casket is needed?

Most often, the deceased’s weight, height, and width are measured. To determine width, the body is measured from elbow to elbow.

Are oversized caskets easily accessible?

Absolutely. The funeral home will likely have oversized caskets available to choose from, or they can order a specific one, if you prefer. Roughly 10% of the population require an oversized casket, so they are readily available.

Do oversized caskets cost more?

Short answer, yes, but it’s based on the type of material you choose. An oversized casket made of mahogany is going to cost more than an oversized casket made of pine or willow. Generally speaking, an oversized casket isn’t going to cost much more than a standard casket, but you can keep costs down by choosing a lower cost material. For more information about casket materials, click here.

Aerial view of a casket with flower sprays set up around it

Will an oversized casket fit in a standard grave liner or burial vault?

Most cemeteries require the use of a grave liner or burial vault. Encasing a casket in a grave liner or burial vault prevents the ground around the grave from shifting as the casket decays. This is how cemeteries prevent uneven ground and keep maintenance costs down.

Standard burial vaults have a width of around 30 inches, so a small uptick in the casket size won’t affect the burial vault. However, if an even greater width is needed, then a larger burial vault or grave liner will add a little extra to the total cost.

Do oversized caskets come in all materials?

If you find a casket you like in standard size, it’s likely that the same casket is available in oversize. You can find oversized caskets in all the standard wood options (mahogany, walnut, cherry, oak, birch, maple, pine, willow, etc.) as well in steel, copper, and bronze. If you prefer green burial, there are oversized options available in bamboo, willow, seagrass, and even cardboard.

Woman wearing black dress stands next to open casket as she places red rose inside

Where can you purchase an oversized casket?

Your local funeral home will have oversized caskets available in their inventory, so they will be the easiest and most convenient option for you. If they don’t have what you want on site, they can put in an order specifically for your needs. Alternatively, you can purchase an oversized casket online. However, it will be your responsibility to ensure that the funeral home has access to the casket.

If you have additional questions about oversized caskets, contact a trusted local funeral home. They will ensure that your every question is answered to your satisfaction.

And if you’d like more information about caskets, check out these resources:

Dec 10
Love0
Open medical textbook with stethoscope lying on top

FAQ: Donating Your Body to Science

By Educational, Explore Options No Comments

If you’re reading this, you’re at least a little bit interested in donating your body to science. To help you make the decision that’s best for you and your family, check out this easy-to-understand FAQ list. And if you have additional questions, contact a trusted local funeral home to help you get more detailed information about state or local donation options.

Let’s get started!

Q: What’s the Difference Between Organ Donation and Whole-Body Donation?

Whole-body donation typically refers to the donation of the whole body to medical or scientific research. Once donated, the body may be used for surgical training, scientific research, and anatomy lessons for medical students, promoting the advancement of medical science.

Organ donation, on the other hand, refers to the donation of organs after death that, if approved for donation, would be transplanted to save a living person’s life.

Three medical students looking at a test tube of blood

Q: Is It Possible to Be an Organ Donor and a Whole-Body Donor?

It is technically possible to register as both an organ donor and a whole-body donor. However, when registering for both, applicants should understand that organ donation for transplant will take first priority. This means that if organs are selected and approved for transplant, your selected research facility may refuse the whole-body donation.

However, many registered organ donors are not approved for transplant because of the stringent restrictions and timing required for organ donation. Cancer, heart disease, lung disease, potentially malignant tumors, and other pre-existing conditions often rule out organ donation candidates. In addition, proximity to the hospital or the need to perform an autopsy can also prevent organ donation. Because of these restrictions, many bodies of organ donors remain uncompromised and could still be donated to science or willed to a university after death if the donor wishes.

So, consider your options carefully. If you value organ donation more highly, register for both forms of donation with the understanding that one may not happen. However, if you value whole-body donation to science more highly, consider only registering for that one form of body donation.

Drawing of the human heart with the different parts named

Q: How Do I Donate My Body?

The process will be different for each research facility, but always make sure you include the following steps.

Step 1: Talk to family

When considering whole-body donation, the first step is to communicate your wishes to relatives and next of kin to avoid any confusion after your death.

Step 2: Contact research facilities and ask questions

Next, you will need to contact several research facilities where you would consider donating your body. Fill out the necessary paperwork and request educational materials so that you and your family members can understand the specific procedures, requirements, and restrictions of whole-body donation at this specific location.

To be well informed, ask questions about the facility, costs associated with donation, and the procedures of donation. Check this list to find additional questions to ask donation facilities.

Medical professor teaching medical students

Step 3: Share the research facility’s contact information

Once you have everything arranged with your chosen research facility, provide their contact information and any instructions to your relatives. To make the process even smoother for your family, complete a funeral prearrangement with your local funeral home and give their staff all the body donation details, too.

Step 4: Inform your primary care doctor

Finally, you should inform your primary care doctor about your intentions. They can help you write clear directives regarding your medical care wishes that will help your family make healthcare decisions if you should become incapacitated.

Three medical students learning about the anatomy of the whole body

Q: How Do I Find a Body Donation Facility Near Me?

To find a research facility near you that accepts whole-body donations, visit the University of Florida’s website that lists whole-body donation programs in each state. You can also organize whole-body donation through private organizations, such as United Tissue Network and Science Care.

Q: How Much Does Whole-Body Donation Cost?

There is no set answer to the question of cost because policies differ among donation facilities. Be sure to consult with your donation facility of choice to plan for costs that will not be covered by the facility.

Often, donation facilities will arrange and pay for body transportation (within a designated distance), eventual cremation, and the return of cremated remains to the family. The family should expect to pay for the cost of any necessary legal documentation (like death certificates) and funeral services conducted before the release of the body to the donation facility.

Under no circumstances will your family receive monetary compensation for a body donation as the buying and selling of bodies is prohibited by federal law.

Open medical textbook with stethoscope lying on top

Q: What Does the Whole-Body Donation Process Look Like?

Some donation facilities allow a certain amount of time after death for a funeral service to be performed. However, some facilities require that notification and transportation of the body occur soon after death. This may mean that funeral services with the body present may not be possible. Make sure you know your specific facility’s policies.

After the death of a loved one, family members should notify the facility of the donor’s death and proceed appropriately. Often, this means coordinating with a representative of the donation clinic and a hospital or hospice healthcare representative, who will determine together whether the body can be accepted for whole-body donation.

Whole body studies are typically completed within 1-3 years, but they can last as long as five years. Upon the completion of study, bodies are typically cremated, and the ashes returned to the family.

Q: Are There Any Restrictions for Whole-Body Donation?

Although universities and medical facilities are in constant need of whole-body donations, most programs reserve the right to refuse donation. For example, organ donors may be refused if the research facility prefers to study an intact body.

Additionally, bodies may not be accepted if they:

  • Are significantly damaged
  • Are morbidly obese or emaciated
  • Carry a contagious or infectious disease
  • Have been autopsied
  • or for the simple reason that donations are not needed by the facility at the time.

Check with your chosen facility to learn more about specific restrictions.

And that’s it! If you have additional questions, speak to a representative at your preferred research facility. Alternatively, you can partner with a local funeral home to ensure that you get all the answers you need.

Nov 06
Love0
woman placing a rose at a loved one's funeral

Should I Have a Funeral?

By Explore Options No Comments

The days after a loved one dies can be filled with many questions. “Should I choose burial or cremation?” “How do I write an obituary?” And for many families, “Should I even have a funeral?” is a pivotal question.

While everyone grieves differently, a funeral can be an important part of the grieving process and can help friends and family start their grief journey well. As you decide whether to have a funeral service, consider the purpose of a funeral and how it might benefit your family.

What is the Purpose of a Funeral?

Let’s start by looking at why we have funerals. Some people think funerals are just an outdated ritual, but funerals actually play an important role in the grieving process. A meaningful funeral can help surviving family members process their emotions about a loss.

African American man placing his hand on a loved one's casket at a funeral

According to Dr. Alan Wolfelt, author and grief expert, funerals are a way of “expressing our beliefs, thoughts and feelings about the death of someone loved.” He says the funeral ritual has six main purposes:

  • help mourners acknowledge the reality of the death

  • give testimony to the life of the deceased

  • encourage the expression of grief

  • provide support to mourners

  • allow for the embracing of faith and beliefs about life and death

  • offer hope for the living

Without a funeral, it can be hard for those left behind to come to terms with their loved one’s death. When you don’t have some kind of service, you may struggle with starting your grief journey. However, having some kind of meaningful service or ritual allows friends and family members to acknowledge the death of their loved one, express their grief, support each other, and start the grief journey off on the right foot.

What if Your Loved One Wasn’t Religious?

woman placing a rose at a loved one's funeral

Not every funeral is religious! There are many ways to create a healing funeral service for someone who wasn’t religious. The most important parts of a funeral, like expressing your emotions and grieving with the support of others, don’t rely on religion. Instead of Bible verses, you could incorporate readings from your loved one’s favorite book or poems they enjoyed.

Remember that the funeral is a chance for family and friends to say goodbye and to gain support from others who are grieving. Even if you don’t want to have a full traditional service, having a less traditional service or an informal gathering can help you and everyone else on your grief journey.

What if Your Loved One Didn’t Want a Funeral?

Nowadays, many people insist they don’t want a big fuss when they die. Maybe your loved one always said, “Don’t do anything when I die. Just cremate me.” Or maybe they always insisted that funerals were a waste of money or time.

Row of candles lit at a funeral

While the wishes of the person who died are very, very important, you should also carefully consider the needs of the family. A funeral isn’t just about the person who died; it’s also about providing a time for everyone to grieve together.

Instead of having a funeral, you could also choose an alternative, like a memorial service, a celebration of life, or a simple private or public gathering. These less traditional options can provide your family and friends with ways to mourn your loved one together.

To go back to the original question – “Should I have a funeral?” – the answer is a resounding yes. But what that funeral looks like is entirely up to your family. As you explore your different funeral options, consider what you, your family, and your loved ones need. Saying goodbye to someone you love is hard, but having a funeral can help you all express your emotions and support each other. Whether you choose to have a full traditional service or a more casual gathering, having some sort of funeral ritual will help you and your loved ones start your grief journey on the right foot.

Oct 11
Love0
Woman in black dress holding black urn and white lily

FAQ: Your Guide to Scattering Ashes

By Cremation, Explore Options

When you choose cremation, there are more questions to answer than you might think. A key question is, “What should happen to the ashes after cremation is complete?” There are so many options to choose from. They range from urn burial, placement in a columbarium, keeping at home, scattering, and other more unusual choices, like launching into space. But for today, let’s discuss scattering and several frequently asked questions about the practice.

Man and woman holding a silver urn between them

Is scattering ashes legal?

The short answer is yes, scattering ashes is legal. However, you’ll want to pay attention to where you are scattering. Scattering in certain locations (like private property) may result in fines or minor criminal charges. There are no federal laws relating to scattering ashes on land, but some states do have specific guidelines. If you are interested in scattering, talk it over with a trusted funeral director. They can give you guidance on your state’s specific laws (if any) about the practice.

Is scattering ashes safe for the environment?

It all depends on where and how you choose to scatter. Scattering at sea, launching into space, or placement in a columbarium are amongst the least environmentally impactful options for cremated remains. However, if you choose to scatter on land, scatter the remains over a large distance and not all in one place. In their natural form, ashes may include chemicals and pollutants that could affect soil composition, impacting plant growth and the larger ecosystem. However, by scattering over a distance, you minimize this possibility.

Red rose sitting on sandy rock at beach

Where can I scatter ashes?

Now that we know scattering is legal, let’s talk about where you can scatter a loved one’s ashes. The biggest no-no is scattering ashes on private land that does not belong to you. In other words, don’t trespass on private property just because you like the view. This applies to private land, but also to places like stadiums, amusement parks, and the like.

Generally speaking, the best practice is to select a location and then determine what the rules and regulations are for that place. A few examples:

  • Ask permission from the land owner before scattering on private property
  • Get a permit or check regulations before scattering at a U.S National Park
  • Talk to the cemetery administrator before scattering in a cemetery or urn garden
  • Contact the authority in charge of a beach before scattering there

Many locations are available to you, as long as you request permission and complete any necessary paperwork. For example, you could scatter at your loved one’s favorite golf course or from an airplane, but there will be a little extra effort to do so.

Woman in black dress holding black urn and white lily

Can you scatter ashes at sea?

While the federal government does not have laws regarding scattering on land (that’s left up to the states), they do have laws regarding burial at sea. There are typically two ways you can scatter ashes at sea: through the U.S. Navy or through a civilian charter company (or cruise line). To learn more about the requirements for scattering at sea, go to What You Need to Know About Burial at Sea.

“How” do I scatter ashes?

Always be aware of the wind direction. You will want to disperse the ashes with the wind, not against the wind. This way, the breeze carries the ashes away from you, and they don’t blow back into your face.

You can either scatter the ashes by hand (bring something to clean your hands with), or more commonly, you can hold the ashes at waist height and scatter them by gently “tossing” them out of the urn. Alternatively, you can purchase a scattering tube, which makes it much easier to scatter the ashes.

Wooden Christian cross necklace laying on book

How do the major religions feel about scattering ashes?

In the United States, the major religions are based in Christianity, according to Pew Research. For today’s purposes, we will look at the cremation viewpoints of Catholics, Protestants, and Mormons. Additionally, we will briefly touch on Jewish funeral customs around cremation.

  • Catholic Church: Cremation is accepted by the Catholic Church, but scattering is not. The entire cremated body must be kept together and either buried or placed in a columbarium.
  • Protestant Church: There are many denominations within the Protestant faith, but generally speaking, cremation and scattering the ashes are acceptable practices. Some denominations may place a stronger emphasis on burial.
  • Latter Day Saints: Cremation is not prohibited, but full-body burial is strongly preferred and encouraged.
  • Judaism: Reform Judaism allows cremation as long as the cremated remains are buried as one unit in an urn or burial container. Orthodox Judaism remains strongly opposed to cremation.

Can I have a ceremony when scattering ashes?

In most cases, yes, you can have some sort of ceremony to accompany the scattering. Again, it all depends on where you choose to scatter the ashes.

If you choose a scattering garden, work with the funeral home or cemetery to put together a program, like you would experience at a graveside ceremony. For scattering at a U.S. National Park, you can find a remote place to say a few words (though the gathering will likely be small and private).

Whether you choose to do something simple or more detailed, it’s important to express what’s on your heart and mind as you say that final goodbye.

Urn surrounded by red roses at a funeral service

What are some tips for planning a scattering ceremony?

  • First, always take the weather into account. You may not want to plan the ceremony for cold or rainy days, so keep an eye on the forecast.
  • Second, if you are transporting cremated remains, make sure that you have a sturdy container that opens and closes well and easily. You want to be able to release the ashes easily, but you don’t want the container to spill open during your travel time. If you need to fly with the ashes, check out What You Need to Know About Flying with Cremated Remains for more tips.
  • Third, plan the ceremony ahead of time because you may need to coordinate details with your chosen location. Without preparation, a scattering ceremony could turn into a minor scuffle with the law. So, do a little legwork to ensure everything goes smoothly.

If you have additional questions about scattering ashes, the funeral home is an excellent resource. Give them a quick call to set up an informal chat to discuss your options for scattering ashes. They will help you iron out all the details so you can honor a loved one’s life in a meaningful and personalized way.

Oct 06
Love1
Open wooden casket with ivory lining

Rental Caskets: What You Need to Know

By Cremation, Educational, Explore Options, Planning Tools

Cremation may be on the rise, but that doesn’t mean you can’t plan a full service to celebrate a loved one’s life with viewing and visitation. Many families assume that choosing cremation means sacrificing a viewing or having the body present at the funeral service. But that’s where rental caskets (also called ceremonial caskets) come in!

Today, most funeral homes offer rental caskets, which allows you to select cremation and still have a full service with a loved one’s body present. There’s just one major difference. After the funeral service is complete, the casket will not be escorted to the cemetery. Instead, mourners will attend a gathering or reception, and the body will be prepared for cremation.

In this way, families can pair the healing power of saying goodbye in person with the cost-effectiveness of cremation. Thankfully, you don’t have to give up the traditional elements when you prefer cremation over burial.

Open wooden casket with ivory lining

What else do you need to know about rental caskets? Let’s review some important details to consider.

How is a rental casket different from a standard casket?

When looking at the rental casket, most people won’t be able to tell that it’s not a standard casket. However, the construction is a bit different. The foot panel swings out like a door, allowing an insert to be placed into or removed from the casket exterior. So, the deceased person is placed in a removable container (often made of wood or cardboard) and that box is gently slid into the rental casket. The removable insert comes with its own fabric liner, which is for one-time use, and it is hidden from view once inside the casket exterior.

So, the casket is re-used?

Yes and no; the exterior frame of the casket is re-used, but the removable insert is not. As mentioned above, at no point does the deceased person’s body come in contact with the rental casket itself. The removable insert fully supports the body and the fabric liner within the insert is one-time use only. In this way, the rental casket is protected and preserved.

Additionally, the rental casket is professionally cleaned and sanitized after each use. While the deceased body never touches the rental casket, this extra level of cleanliness is taken to ensure the best possible experience for everyone.

Couple standing next to a casket covered in flowers, paying their respects

What happens to the removable insert?

By law, when a body is cremated, it must be placed in a container of some sort (often made of wood or cardboard). The removable insert can perform both functions – both as the interior of the rental casket and the alternative container at the crematory.

Where can I get a rental casket?

If you’re looking for ease and convenience, the funeral home is your best option. They will have rental caskets available, and there may even be options to choose from. It’s possible to rent from a third-party business, but please note, you will be responsible for making sure the funeral home has access to it before the funeral.

What is the average cost of a rental casket?

It all depends on your area and the funeral home. To get a sense of costs, request a General Price List (GPL) from reputable funeral homes in your area. The GPL should list the cost of a rental casket and what that fee includes. Remember, you will pay for the removable insert/alternative container in addition to the rental casket.

White rose on closed wooden casket

Can I use a rental casket if I choose burial instead of cremation?

While rental caskets are most commonly used for funeral services before cremation, they can be used when burial is chosen. For example, you might want a ceremonial casket for the viewing, but then bury the deceased person in a much simpler casket. Speak with a funeral director about your options. Then, weigh the pros and cons of whether renting a casket is best for your needs.

What’s next?

To learn more about rental caskets or the full service options available with cremation, contact a funeral home you trust.

Also, if you’d like more information what a General Price List is and what your rights are as a consumer, check out Know Your Rights: The FTC Funeral Rule. With this information, you can confidently interact with the funeral home and get your questions answered!

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