If you want to plan ahead for your funeral wishes or plan a funeral for a loved one, the checklist below will help you in making important decisions:
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Most of us know that estate planning is important, but many people don’t take care of their estate planning because they find it intimidating. There are so many estate planning documents to consider, so how do you know where to start?
A checklist is a great place to start! Starting with a checklist can help you track what you’ve already taken care of and what you still need to work on. You can make your estate planning checklist using the points below, or you can download our estate planning checklist here.
DISCLAIMER: Individual circumstances and state laws vary. Only undertake estate planning with the help and assistance of an attorney licensed in your state.
Gather What You Have
For families who have recently lost a loved one, it can be difficult to track down all of the documents they need for death certificates, life insurance, veterans’ benefits applications, and closing an estate. You can help your family by gathering these documents and putting them in a safe, secure location. Important documents include:
- Social Security card
- Birth certificate
- Certificates of marriage, divorce, citizenship, or adoption
- Education records
- Employment records
- Military records
- Property deeds
- Car title and registration
- Medicare/Medicaid information
- Copy of most recent income tax return
Don’t forget to let your emergency contacts know where these documents are stored so they can find them if needed.
Finances
When most people think of estate planning, they usually think of writing a will. A legal will is one way to make your wishes about your assets known; the other option is usually a living trust. Without one of these two plans, the state will distribute your assets, so they may not go to the people you want. Whether you choose to distribute your assets through a will or a living trust is up to you. Talking to your financial advisor or an estate planning attorney can help you pick the right option for you and your family. Plus, an estate planning attorney can help you know what you should and shouldn’t put in your will.
End-of-Life Care Documents
End-of-life care documents determine what will happen to you and your assets if you become incapacitated or unable to make your own decisions. There are two types of end-of-life care documents: powers of attorney and advance care directives.
Powers of attorney (POAs) allow you to choose a person (called an agent) to make decisions on your behalf when you can’t. You can either have a general POA that selects one agent to look over all of your affairs or specific POAs, like healthcare or financial, that give your agent control over one aspect of your affairs.
Advance care directives are documents that let your family know what medical decisions you’re okay with and which you don’t want. These can be separate documents, like DNR or DNI orders, or combined into one document. When choosing what medical procedures you want, make sure your wishes are on file with your doctor.
Digital Assets
One part of estate planning that’s easy to forget is your digital estate! Your digital assets are all your online accounts, rewards points, subscriptions, online bills, and digital photos and videos. Deciding what should be done with your digital assets is an important part of estate planning that shouldn’t be overlooked. Start by making a list of all of your digital assets (see our checklist for a long list of potential assets). After you’ve listed your assets, you’ll need to determine what should be done with each one after you’re gone.
Advance Funeral Planning
Prearranging your funeral is another essential part of your estate plan. Making decisions about a funeral after a loved one’s death can be stressful, especially if your family doesn’t know your wishes. When you preplan, you’ll remove their doubt and uncertainty by answering the many questions they might have. Plus, you’ll have the option to prepay, which can save your family from the stress of waiting for life insurance money to come through. Assets like life insurance and bank accounts can be tied up for weeks or even months, while the funds in a prepaid funeral plan are available right away. To start preplanning, you can call your local funeral home and schedule a time to speak with a funeral director about your wishes.
While creating your checklist, you can always add other things you want to take care of, like taking care of your small business or making plans for minors in your care. It’s also a good idea to consult with an estate planning attorney to learn about your state’s individual laws and your options. Once your estate planning checklist is finished, you’ll be ready to tackle estate planning and ensure everything is taken care of!
There are many practical benefits to funeral preplanning – like saving money, qualifying for Medicaid, and having funeral funds set aside to pay for everything – but did you know there are also emotional benefits? And let’s be honest – the emotional part of death is the hardest part. So, if you’re on the fence about planning ahead for your funeral wishes, take a look at these 5 emotional benefits that preplanning can give your family during a time of grief and loss.
1. Preplanning reduces stress
After the death of a loved one, it falls to the surviving family members to plan the funeral with the help of a local funeral home. If there’s no advance preparation, that means the family will have to answer 130+ questions in a short period of time. On top of that, they will have to come up with the funds to pay for the funeral, and most families aren’t prepared to take on that kind of unexpected financial responsibility. But with funeral preplanning, you can reduce the stress your family will feel by answering all the questions ahead of time. And if you want, you can set aside funds to cover all the costs.
2. Preplanning removes doubt and uncertainty
Have you ever had to make an important decision without first speaking to your spouse? It’s hard, and there’s a lot of uncertainty. That’s what happens when a loved one doesn’t leave instructions about their funeral wishes. When faced with planning a loved one’s final tribute, surviving family members often feel deeply uncertain and doubt the decisions they made.
Was cremation the right choice? Should we have had a viewing to say our last goodbyes? Could we have done more to personalize the service? By putting your funeral wishes in writing, you remove these feelings of indecision. Instead, your family can honor your life the way you want and feel good about it.
3. Preplanning prevents hurt feelings
What happens when everyone is feeling stressed and no one knows what to do? Stress increases, opinions come out, and arguments begin to simmer. When it’s unclear how to proceed with the funeral plans, surviving family members may begin to disagree on how to proceed.
For example, your son may prefer burial while your daughter thinks cremation is best. Or your spouse is worried about expenses while your children want a big extravagant event. With 130+ questions to answer, there’s a lot of room for argument and hurt feelings. However, when your preferences are clearly outlined with funeral preplanning, your family knows what you want. They can then use that roadmap to honor your life and legacy.
4. Preplanning provides a sense of stability
It may sound weird, but funeral preplanning can actually give your family a sense of stability and control. When a loved one dies, routines are disrupted, and everything feels out of sync, upended, out of control. But when there’s a plan in place, a feeling of stability returns. They don’t have to wade through a sea of uncertainty without a compass. Instead, your advance funeral plan becomes an anchor amidst the whirlwind of planning. The first days following a loss are the hardest, and that sense of stability can soothe emotions and calm fears.
5. Preplanning brings peace of mind
Lastly, funeral preplanning can bring peace of mind to you and your family. For your family, they can rest easy, knowing that you’ve taken care of everything. The selections have been made. The music and venue chosen. The vital statistics are already on file at the funeral home. All your family has to do when the time comes is to choose a date and time. And you can rest in the knowledge that you’ve done everything you can to care for your family and make a difficult experience a little bit easier. That’s a beautiful gift.
Before we go, one more thing.
Quick Tip: Invite Others to Plan with You
One of the benefits of planning ahead for your funeral wishes is that it gives you time to consider all the options and choose what best fits your personality and preferences. As you plan, you’ll definitely want to work with a reputable local funeral home. The funeral director can help you understand your options and act as a resource throughout the advance planning process.
However, also consider inviting your family into the planning process. Yes, you are putting a plan in place to help them, but they can also help you. You may think that a simple burial with no service would be easiest, but your family may want to have a funeral service and invite friends and extended family to pay their respects. The funeral is about your life, but it’s also about your family’s emotional needs. Consider listening to what they think and incorporating some of those ideas into your funeral wishes.
Planning ahead for your final wishes is simple and only takes about an hour to complete. There are three basic steps to creating a healing and meaningful funeral plan that will help your family cope with your loss on one of the hardest days of their lives.
You plan for everything in life — birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, vacations, homes, retirement, and much more. Why shouldn’t you also plan for final wishes? While no one likes to think about their own demise, the fact remains that one day, your family will need to make dozens of hard decisions to arrange for your final life
A personalized funeral can be a very healing and meaningful experience for loved ones. But how can you ensure that they have that one-of-a-kind experience? The answer is by doing a little bit of planning and preparation in advance. Personal touches such as photos, family heirlooms, mementos, readings, and music can all come together to help your family and friends celebrate the life you lived together and the legacy you leave behind.
One way you can help your loved ones is by collecting these items and ideas in one place, like a memory box. This box can be specifically designed to help your loved ones plan a healing and personal funeral experience! While you can put anything in your funeral wishes box that’s meaningful to you, here are a few ideas to help you get started.
Photos and Videos
Photos and videos can be used to personalize a funeral service in many ways, like in slideshows or on memory boards. But it can be hard for families to know which photos to use. Many people have hundreds of photos from their lifetime, especially now that smartphones are everywhere. Sorting through these photos to find ones to share at the funeral can be an overwhelming task for loved ones when they are grieving. Plus, your loved ones might not know which photos are most significant to you. By selecting the photos ahead of time, you take away the guesswork and make things simpler for your family.
If you have physical photos you want displayed, you can set those aside in your box. You can also add a note identifying other people in the photo by writing on the back of the photos or adding a sticky note to the back. You can do the same with any videos on VHS or DVD. For digital photos or videos, you can copy them on a USB drive to add to your funeral wishes box or put them in a specific folder on your computer. If you leave the photos on your computer, make sure to leave instructions for finding them and logging into your computer in your box, which is something you should do for all of your digital assets.
Scrapbooks
Scrapbooks can make a wonderful addition to a funeral. Not only are they beautiful and personal, but they also share memories that you hold dear. If you’ve made scrapbooks in the past, including those in your funeral wishes box can provide a way for your family to highlight special moments in your life. But even if you don’t have a scrapbook already made, you can create one! If you have small items or keepsakes you want to treasure, you don’t have to make a whole scrapbook – you can just make a page or two. You could also use scrapbook pages to leave notes about specific photos or share the story behind a specific item, like a ticket stub, a pressed flower, or event programs.
Meaningful Mementos
Another great way to personalize a service is by incorporating items that are meaningful to you. These could be family heirlooms, like your favorite piece of jewelry, your antique pocket watch, or a quilt your great-grandmother made. You could also set aside souvenirs from trips you took or events you attended.
Other mementos you might want to include are items from your hobbies. What do you love doing? Think about ways you can incorporate your passions and interests. For example, if you like to make things, you could pick out a scarf you made or a chair you built. If you play a sport, you could set aside an old jersey or uniform to be displayed. If you want an item displayed that you’re still using, you can include a note in your box that mentions where the item is typically stored.
Favorite Songs
Music plays a significant role in a funeral, setting the mood and tone for the entire service. Music expresses feelings and words that we may not be able to say ourselves and gives us an outlet to release and experience our emotions. Contrary to popular belief, the music at a funeral service doesn’t have to be sad songs or hymns. A favorite song you love to listen to, sing along with, or dance to can still emotionally impact your loved ones.
If you own digital versions of the songs you want to include in your box, you may be able to burn them onto a CD or upload them to a USB drive. You could also create a playlist on your favorite music service and include instructions about finding the songs in your funeral wishes box. Another option is to create a printed or handwritten list of your chosen songs.
Passages for Readings
Readings are also an important part of a funeral service. Readings can honor or celebrate your life, help both readers and listeners grieve, or move mourners into a time of contemplation. The passages read can be anything, like a Bible verse, a poem, an excerpt from a book, or a meaningful quote. Think about written passages that mean a lot to you, changed your life, or reflect the way you try to live. Once you’ve decided on a few quotes, you can write them down, make a note of where they came from and who you’d like to read them, and add them to your box.
What to Do With Your Box
After you create your box, what do you do with it? First, make sure your loved ones know about your box and where to find it. It wouldn’t do much good to put your box together if your family doesn’t know about it when they’re planning the funeral! If you want, you can also share the contents with your loved ones as you put the box together, and if you’ve preplanned with a funeral home, you could even let them know about your box.
Second, continue to add to and update your box. If you start a new hobby or go on a fun trip, you may want to include mementos from those. Maybe you take pictures with a grandchild at their graduation or with your child at their wedding. You can always add more items to your box or remove items that have lost meaning to you.
By putting together your funeral wishes box, you’ll provide an easier way for your family to personalize your funeral. With all of the items prepared, your loved ones can display your photos and scrapbooks, create a slideshow with your favorite photos, videos, and songs, read the passages you selected, and decorate the location with mementos from your hobbies and interests. These personal touches will make the service even more meaningful for your loved ones and help them begin their grief journey on the right foot.
Most people don’t realize just how many questions surviving family members will need to answer following the death of a loved one. That’s why advance preparation is so important. From prearranging your funeral plan to gathering all your estate planning documents, you can lessen the burden your family will feel at a time of loss. When they are feeling numb, sad, confused, shocked, it will be a true comfort to know that everything is already organized and complete. It’s a final gift to them.
But what kinds of questions will they have to answer? Here’s a sampling of more than 130 questions that your family will need to answer (and there will likely be even more!).
Vital Statistics & Obituary Information
- What is the deceased’s full name (first, middle, last)?
- What is the deceased’s complete home address?
- What is the deceased’s telephone number?
- What is the deceased’s sex?
- What is the deceased’s race?
- What is the deceased’s date of birth?
- What is the deceased’s place of birth?
- What is the deceased’s marital status?
- If married, what is the spouse’s name?
- What is the deceased’s highest level of education completed?
- Is the deceased a veteran (if yes, see additional questions below)?
- What is the deceased’s citizenship (American, Canadian, Mexican, etc.)?
- What is the deceased’s father’s full name?
- What is the deceased’s father’s birthplace?
- What is the deceased’s mother’s full name, including maiden name?
- What is the deceased’s mother’s birthplace?
- What is the deceased’s Social Security number?
- How long did the deceased live at any current/former residence(s)?
- What was the deceased’s occupation, job title, and work history?
- How many years was the deceased employed at each job?
- What is the address of the deceased’s last workplace?
- What is the telephone number for the deceased’s last workplace?
- How long has the deceased lived in the community?
- What is the deceased’s date and place of marriage?
- Who preceded the deceased in death?
- Was the deceased involved in the community? If so, which organizations?
- Was the deceased a member of a church or religious organization? If so, which ones?
- Did the deceased have any hobbies, interests, or passions to highlight in the obituary?
- Are there any favorite family memories, life lessons, or treasured accomplishments to include in the obituary?
Veterans & Servicemembers
- What name did the deceased serve under (full name)?
- What branch did the deceased serve in?
- What is the deceased’s serial/service number?
- What was the deceased’s rank at discharge?
- What was the deceased’s date and place of enlistment?
- What was the deceased’s date and place of service?
- What type of discharge did the deceased receive?
- What was the date of discharge?
- Do you have a copy of the discharge certificate (DD 214)?
- Who will contact the Veterans Administration to report the death?
- Would you like to request military honors at the service?
- Will interment take place in a state-owned or national veterans cemetery? If yes, which one?
- Would you like to receive a presidential memorial certificate in honor of the deceased’s service?
- Would you like to request a government-issued headstone?
- Would you like to request a government-issued flag to drape over the casket or urn?
- Have you talked with the VA about the burial benefits the deceased may be eligible to receive, including monetary assistance?
- Are there any special requests or elements you’d like to include at the final tribute in honor of the veteran’s military service?
Funeral Service Information
Service Details
- Did the deceased complete a prearranged funeral plan? If so, which funeral home?
- If the deceased did not prearrange funeral plans, do you have a preferred funeral home?
- Who are the primary contacts for funeral arrangements?
- Does the deceased prefer burial or cremation?
- Would you like a private ceremony (family only) or one open to the public?
- What funeral events would you like to include (funeral service, memorial service, committal service, reception, visitation, viewing, Mass, etc.)?
- Once you have determined what funeral events you’d like to include, what dates and times would you like to request for these events?
- What clothing would you like the deceased to wear at any open-casket events?
- Would you like any food served at the funeral service or a gathering afterward?
- Who will serve as pallbearers?
- Where would you like the funeral service to take place (funeral home, church, residence, organization, outdoors, etc.)?
- What type of service would the deceased prefer (religious, fraternal, military, etc.)?
- Are there any reasons to delay the service?
- Who will deliver the eulogy? Will there be other speakers?
- Would you like an open or closed casket service?
- Who would you like to officiate the service (clergy, family member, celebrant, etc.)?
- How many death certificates would you like to order (ask funeral director for best practices)?
- Would you like to include a framed portrait of the deceased at any services?
- How will you pay for the funeral expenses?
Personalization Preferences
- What music would you like to include at the service? Do you want live music from a musician or vocalist?
- Do you want floral arrangements at the service or around the casket/urn?
- If so, which florist would you like to use?
- Have you written an obituary, or would you like the funeral home to do so?
- Do you want a death notice published in a newspaper?
- Would you like memorial items available at the service, such as programs, register book, and memorial/prayer cards?
- What photos or text would you like to include on any memorial items?
- What readings would you like read at the service (poems, religious texts, lyrics, etc.)?
- Do you prefer that well-wishers send flowers?
- Do you prefer that well-wishers give charitable contributions to a certain organization? If so, which organization?
- If there is a gathering or meal after the service, is catering required? If yes, which restaurant?
- Are there any personal items you’d like to display at the service or gathering to personalize the event?
- Would you like a memorial tribute video with photos/videos from the deceased’s life?
- Do you want to include a time for friends and family to share their most precious memories?
- Do you have pictures, music, or personal items you’d like to include at the visitation, service, or gathering?
- Is there a unique hobby or interest that you’d like to include at the service (firetruck, tractor, motorcycle, quilts, artwork, favorite horse, etc.)?
- Are there any favorite foods you’d like include at a gathering or reception?
- Are there any activities you’d like to include in the service (singing a favorite song, lighting candles, releasing doves, writing down memories, etc.)?
Cemetery & Committal/Graveside Service
- With burial, what kind of casket do you prefer?
- With cremation, what kind of urn do you prefer?
- What kind of headstone or monument do you prefer – plaque, upright, customized, engraved?
- What inscription would you like engraved on the headstone?
- Does the deceased own a cemetery plot? If yes, where is the deed or proof of ownership?
- What is the cemetery lot’s section, lot number, and space number?
- Do you know the cemetery name and phone number?
- If there’s no cemetery plot, where would you like the deceased to be interred?
- For cremated remains, would you prefer urn burial, scattering, columbarium niche, or something else?
- What type of outer burial container would you prefer?
- Would you like to use the funeral car to transport the family to the committal service?
- Would you like to use the flower car to transport floral arrangements to the committal service?
- What kind of cemetery property do you want (companion, individual, mausoleum, columbarium, etc.)?
- Are there any personal touches you’d like to include at a committal/graveside service (certain music, speakers, military honors, release of butterflies or doves, etc.)?
Estate Planning Assistance
- Did the deceased have a legal will? If so, where is it, and what does it say?
- Did the deceased have a power of attorney on file? If so, who is the appointed agent?
- Do you have access to all usernames and passwords needed for online accounts?
- Where is the deceased’s birth certificate?
- Is there a living trust that outlines any special wishes?
- Do you have a copy of the deceased’s marriage license?
- What is the deceased’s attorney’s name and contact information?
- Are there any current or urgent bills to pay?
- Are there any medical bills to pay?
- Do you have copies of any insurance policies (life, health, accident, property, auto, home, etc.)?
- Is all beneficiary information up to date?
- Are there any active disability claims for the deceased?
- Do you have the deceased’s banking information?
- Did the deceased have a safety deposit box? If so, do you have access to it?
- Do you have access or information on any other financial accounts in the deceased’s name?
- Do you have the correct tax identification number (if applicable)?
- Do you have the ability to cancel any direct deposit payments?
- Do you have contact information for any creditors, such as mortgages, personal loans, credit card companies, etc.?
- Do you have a copy of all property deeds?
- Do you have documentation of all vehicle titles or bills of sale?
- Do you have access to the deceased’s income tax returns?
Who to Contact After a Death
- Are there any relatives you should inform of the death?
- Are there any friends or neighbors you should inform?
- Are there any community members you should inform?
- Are there any employers or co-workers you should inform?
- Who will call the deceased’s employer (if applicable)?
- Who will inform the attorney of the death?
- Who will inform the accountant of the death?
- Who will inform the financial planner of the death?
- Who will inform the executor of the death?
- Who will inform credit card companies of the death?
- Who will call the Social Security Administration to report the death?
- Who will call the VA to report the death (if applicable)?
- Who will call any necessary insurance companies?
- Are there any religious, fraternal, or civic organizations to inform of the death?
As you can see, the list is extensive and includes a wide range of personal and financial topics. Can you imagine trying to answer all these questions in a short period of time? It’s overwhelming, but with a little preparation, you can ensure that everything is easier and smoother for those you love.
For more resources, check out:
What is Advance Funeral Planning?
What to Expect at a Preplanning Appointment
How to Make Digital Estate Planning Simple
No matter what age you are, creating a will is a great way to prepare for the future. A legal will is a document that lays out your wishes for your estate. Without a will, your family may not know your wishes after your death, and your estate will be distributed according to your state’s probate laws, which may or may not fit with your wishes.
Depending on the size of your estate and your wishes, your will may be simple or very complex. But how do you know what you should and shouldn’t include in your will? Speaking with your attorney is a great way to learn about your state’s regulations, but here are 7 items you should avoid putting in your will.
Time-sensitive wishes
After someone dies, it can take weeks or even months before the will is read. Because it can take a while before the contents of your will are known, you shouldn’t include time-sensitive details in your will, especially about your end-of-life care. For example, medical decisions, like Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) orders or organ donations, should be on file with your physician or included in a healthcare power of attorney, not your will.
You should also avoid including your wishes for funeral arrangements in your will. Most funerals typically happen within a week of the death. By the time your will is read, your funeral will likely have already occurred. Instead of discussing your funeral wishes in your will, you can create an advance funeral plan with your local funeral service provider. Let your family know that you have a plan in place with that funeral home. Your funeral service provider will ensure that everything is taken care of just how you want.
Assets with named beneficiaries
When you set up life insurance, a retirement account, a living trust, and other accounts, you may name a beneficiary. The beneficiaries named on these accounts supersede your legal will. If you originally named your son as the beneficiary of your life insurance, you won’t be able to give it to your daughter through your will. If your wishes about who should receive the proceeds from a specific account have changed, you should update your beneficiaries directly in the account, not in your will.
Joint property and accounts
Jointly-owned bank accounts and properties have specific laws and regulations about what happens when one of the owners dies. Some joint accounts or jointly-owned properties allow you to pass the property to the heir of your choice in your will. But if your joint account or property is labeled “with rights of survivorship,” your share in the property will go to the other owner or owners at your death. Property or accounts with rights of survivorship should not be included in your will. If you’re unsure what type your jointly-owned account or property is, please check with your attorney or bank.
Specific accounts
When writing your will, it’s best to avoid naming wishes for specific accounts, like your checking or savings account. This is because your situation may change over time. You may close out accounts or open new ones, or the amount in your accounts may change drastically. If you name a specific account in your will, you’ll need to update your will every time your account changes. Instead, you can bestow a specific amount of money or a percentage of your estate on your chosen beneficiary.
Illegal or unethical conditions
In most cases, you can provide specific conditions that must be fulfilled before your beneficiaries receive their inheritance. For example, you can provide a specific inheritance to your granddaughter for when she graduates college. However, there are limits to what you can ask of your beneficiaries. For example, you can’t include instructions requiring someone to marry a specific person, get divorced, or change their religion. You also can’t make someone do something illegal to receive their inheritance, like using property to grow illegal substances or committing a crime.
Reasons for bequest
While it’s not illegal to include the reasons for bequests in your will, providing reasons for each gift can add unnecessary length to your will. If you want your beneficiaries to know why you’re giving them a specific piece of property, that’s great! Instead of adding that to your will, you can include separate letters with details. A separate letter can also give you the space to share the history behind a specific item, like a quilt your great-grandmother made or your great-uncle’s pocket watch.
Before creating your will, please consult a licensed attorney to ensure you follow your state’s regulations. As you document your wishes in your will, try to keep it as clear and concise as possible. If your wishes are clear and uncluttered, it will be easier for your executor to carry them out. And as life changes, don’t forget to regularly update your will.
DISCLAIMER: Individual circumstances and state laws vary. Only undertake estate planning with the help and assistance of an attorney licensed in your state.
Losing a loved one can bring pain, grief, uncertainty, and confusion. A loss can also leave you with the responsibility of planning a funeral, requiring you to answer questions that you may have never considered. This combination can make you and your family feel lost, overwhelmed, and in need of a helping hand. A caring funeral director can be that helping hand.
Most funeral homes have funeral directors who are a source of assurance for families. Funeral directors are meant to be a comforting guide during the funeral planning process. However, if you’ve never had to plan a funeral before, how do you know which funeral director is best for your family?
One of the easiest ways to determine whether a funeral director is right for you and your family is by recognizing certain qualities they possess. From how they first greet you to how they check on you after the funeral, you deserve a caring professional who makes things easier during your time of pain.
Here’s a list of 11 qualities you look for in a funeral director who will best care for you and your family.
1. Caring
When you need the services of a funeral home, you’re likely experiencing one of the saddest seasons of your life. You need to know that the funeral professional serving you and your family deeply cares about your well-being. A caring funeral director will make you feel welcome, express their sorrow for your loss, and will let you know that everything will be taken care of. Listen to your instincts during your first interaction with a funeral director, as a genuine caring heart is easy to identify.
2. Supportive
There are so many unique and special ways to celebrate the life of your loved one. So, you’ll want to work with someone who is supportive of your wishes. The right funeral director will encourage your choices and do everything possible to make your wishes a reality all while respecting your budget. Most funeral directors like to say that no request is too great and no detail is too small. That is the perfect mindset for someone who is eager to serve you.
3. Honest
An honest person can make the funeral planning process simple and easy. There are so many decisions that go into planning a funeral. You need an honest funeral director who will be upfront with you about your options, costs, logistics, and other important details. Honesty and transparency will make you feel at ease and confident throughout the funeral planning process.
4. Trustworthy
Similar to honesty, the right funeral director will never give you a reason to doubt their motives or promises. You can trust they will keep their word to you, no matter what. Chances are that problems will arise during the funeral planning process. However, a good funeral director will keep you informed and updated on any changes or issues.
5. Knowledgeable
If you’ve never had to plan a funeral, you may not know all the options available to you. That’s why it’s important to have a knowledgeable funeral director by your side who can help you plan a funeral that will honor the life of your loved one. They can suggest what a funeral should include and what details will best serve you and your family. Plus, the right funeral director will have experience in creating memorable funerals, and their knowledge will serve you well.
6. Strong Communicator
A funeral director who puts your needs first will always keep an open line of communication – especially if there are changes to the funeral plans. They will communicate new information quickly and accurately. They should also offer multiple ways for you to contact them (office phone, cell phone, email address, etc.) Most funeral directors want to make it easy for you to contact them, so find a funeral director that makes communication a priority.
7. Good Listener
You deserve to be valued and heard in your time of grief. A funeral director who listens just as well as they communicate will do just that. You will have many conversations with the funeral director, so it’s important that your words don’t fall on deaf ears. The right funeral director will listen to you and value any and all information you can give them.
8. Creative
A creative funeral director will give you unique ideas in helping you create a personalized tribute for your loved one. They can offer suggestions on how to properly honor the life of your loved one, no matter how traditional or contemporary of a funeral you want. This process usually starts with you telling the funeral director what made your loved one special and what their interests were. From there, a creative funeral professional can help you create a memorable goodbye that will showcase the special life of your loved one.
9. Patient
With grief consuming most of your thoughts during the funeral planning process, feeling overwhelmed is a perfectly normal reaction after losing a loved one. In those moments, you need someone who will calmly and patiently work with you as a friend and guide. You don’t need someone rushing you into decisions that you’re not comfortable with. Working with a patient funeral director will make you feel like you’re their sole priority and not just another funeral to schedule.
10. Empathetic
Empathy is one of the most important qualities to find! This characteristic can help build a bridge of lasting trust and confidence between you, your family, and the funeral director. You might wonder how funeral directors remain empathetic after helping so many grieving families. But that’s what makes the heart of a funeral director so special. The right person will show you that they truly understand the pain you’re feeling. This kindness can lead you to be more willing to place your faith in them and their ability to properly honor your loved one.
11. Organized
As we’ve discussed, planning a funeral takes time and requires a lot of decisions. You need a funeral director that won’t let any detail slip through the cracks. No matter how elaborate or simple your funeral is, the right professional will make sure everything is accounted for and that nothing goes overlooked. Additionally, an organized person will make sure that every member of your family is on the same page and that – to the best of their ability – everyone is happy with the funeral.
A funeral director who exhibits these qualities can give you and your family confidence, calmness, and assuredness during the funeral planning process and beyond. There are other qualities that make a great funeral director, but make sure they exhibit these qualities.
After all, a funeral director’s greatest calling is to be there for you when you need them most. They’ll be eager to prove that they are worthy of caring for you.
After losing a loved one, a viewing or visitation can be a sweet moment of remembrance and an opportunity to say a final goodbye in person. As you put together this meaningful event, one thing you will need to decide is whether to use a full-couch or a half-couch casket. But what’s the difference between them? Let’s talk about it.
What is a Half-Couch Casket?
If you live in the United States, you are likely most familiar with a half-couch casket. This means that there’s a seam in the middle of the casket, which splits the lid into two different pieces. This design element allows you to open just the top or the bottom of the casket. At many viewings, the head section is open, so that mourners can see the face and torso of the person who has died. The lower half of the body remains covered by the bottom section of the lid.
What is a Full-Couch Casket?
While less common, full-couch caskets are also used across the United States. For example, singer James Brown was laid to rest in a full-couch casket after a viewing open to the public. The only difference from a half-couch casket is that the lid is one solid piece. When you open the casket, you see the entire body, though often the legs are covered with a blanket of some sort.
Does It Matter Which I Choose?
Ultimately, it’s up to your personal preference.
Both options:
- Will facilitate an open- or closed-casket viewing or visitation
- Are appropriate for burial in a cemetery
- Are available in a variety of styles and materials
In some areas of the country, one type may be more popular than the other, but again, it boils down to preference. For closed-casket services, the full-couch offers a more “complete” look (no middle seam), which is important to some. However, since the lid completely closes on both types, either could be chosen for a closed-casket event.
If you’re on the fence and just aren’t sure which to choose, speak with a funeral professional about their experience helping other families. They can give you an insider’s view on the pros and cons of each type.
Are There Any Specific Benefits to Each Type?
While the main difference is the lid, there are subtle benefits to each type you may want to consider.
Half-Couch
- Brings the focus to the deceased person’s face
- Some caskets cost less because the foot portion is less detailed (it won’t be seen)
- With a particularly tall person, the half-couch style can disguise the need to bend the knees to fit the body into the casket (oversized caskets are more expensive)
Full-Couch
- Allows full view of the deceased’s body, which may be important for the family
- May meet religious needs or cultural norms for your area
- Commonly used when there is no viewing
As you can see, the only strong factor to pull you to one casket or the other is whether you have specific regional, cultural, or religious needs. Otherwise, you can select either option and get everything you need.
Does the Casket Type Affect Personalization Options?
In general, you can decorate and personalize however you want with both types. With flowers, the spray can either lay across the middle with a full-couch or on the lower portion of the half-couch (when the lid is open). For veterans, the U.S. flag will be placed in a slightly different location depending on whether you select full-couch or half-couch. Any other items you want to place on or around the casket can be arranged with the funeral professionals assisting you.
What About Cost?
All caskets – full-couch and half-couch – are available in a variety of styles and materials. This means that there’s going to be a range of prices. As an extreme example, if you get a gold-plated casket, it’s going to be expensive whether you choose full-couch or half-couch. If cost is a determining factor for you, then use that to guide whether you choose full- or half-couch. There are affordable options with both types, so you will be able to find something that meets your budget.
Hopefully, you now have a better understanding of the differences between full-couch and half-couch caskets. If you’d like to know more about wood, steel, and eco-friendly caskets, take a minute to read “How to Select a Casket.”