christy.kessler, Author at Funeral Basics

May 01

Person standing next to flag-draped casket, hand resting on top of casket

Veterans’ Burial Benefits FAQ

By christy.kessler Planning Tools, Veterans 3 Comments

With so many benefits available to veterans, it’s hard to keep track of all of them. To help you out, here’s a list of frequently asked questions about burial benefits and their answers!

Q: What are my burial benefits as a veteran?

A: The Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) offers burial benefits for eligible veterans, their spouses, and their dependent children. These burial benefits include, at no cost to the family:

A burial space in a national cemetery. Burial spaces may not be arranged in advance but are offered to families as the need arises. In addition, certain state cemeteries offer burial spaces to veterans. Be sure to check with your local state cemetery about any fees or charges that may apply.
Grave liner, opening and closing of the grave, and perpetual care (for those buried in a national cemetery)
A government-issued headstone, marker, or medallion (all eligible veterans)
One burial flag (all eligible veterans)
A Presidential Memorial Certificate (all eligible veterans)
Burial and plot allowances (amounts determined by VA; only for veterans not buried in a national cemetery)

For more in-depth information about these benefits, contact your local VA office, go to www.benefits.va.gov, or speak with a funeral professional who is well-versed in veterans’ burial benefits.

Q: Will the VA pay for my funeral?

A: The VA does not directly pay for funeral or burial/cremation expenses, such as the cost of a casket, embalming, cremation, viewing, flowers, obituaries, or transportation of the remains. However, the person who paid for the funeral expenses of a veteran may be eligible to apply for a reimbursement or “allowance” for a portion of the funeral and burial/cremation expenses. You will find instructions on how to apply for a reimbursement here.

Q: What type of reimbursement or allowance does the VA provide for funeral expenses?

A: The VA offers an allowance to cover a portion of funeral and burial/cremation costs. If a veteran dies due to a service-connected cause, the family of a veteran may be eligible for an allowance of up to $2,000. For a non-service-connected death, the VA will pay a specified amount to the family. Plot interment and burial/cremation and funeral allowance amounts are dependent on the date of death and whether or not the veteran was under VA hospital care at the time of death.

Q: What determines eligibility for VA burial benefits, allowances, and reimbursements?

A: To receive VA burial benefits, you must be a veteran of the Armed Forces (Army, Navy, Air Force, Marine Corps, Coast Guard) with a discharge other than dishonorable. If a veteran has anything less than a general discharge, he or she may not qualify for burial benefits. Certain discharges other than honorable are considered on a case-by-case basis by the VA Regional Office to determine eligibility.

Reservists and National Guard members may qualify based on their retirement status and whether or not they died while on active duty or on official orders. Spouses and minor or disabled children of an eligible veteran may also be eligible for burial benefits. In some cases, parents of an eligible veteran may be eligible for burial benefits as well.

To determine your specific eligibility status, contact your VA Regional Office or visit www.cem.va.gov/cem/burial_benefits/eligible.asp for a complete list of eligibility requirements.

Q: What benefits will my family members receive?

A: Burial benefits are available to eligible spouses and dependents who choose burial in a national cemetery. Benefits include burial with the veteran, perpetual care, and the spouse or dependent’s name and date of birth and death inscribed on the veteran’s headstone.

Q: How does my family request military honors?

A: Once you have a funeral home partner, your funeral director will contact the honor guard to request military honors. At the committal service, the service member will present one burial flag to the next of kin. Make sure to let your funeral director know to whom the flag should be presented.

Q: How can I ensure my family receives the benefits they are entitled to?

A: First, ensure that your family is aware of your veteran status and your desire for them to access your veterans’ burial benefits when you die. Second, to access your burial benefits, they will need a copy of your DD 214 form or an equivalent form. This form identifies the classification of discharge. If the DD 214 form is misplaced or lost, contact Veteran Affairs or your local Veteran Service Officer to request a replacement form. You can also find more information online here.

Q: What is the difference between a national cemetery and a state cemetery?

A: The main difference is that state governments manage state veteran cemeteries. However, in many cases, VA grants fund state veteran cemeteries, so they must adhere to federal eligibility requirements.

Burial benefits often include opening and closing of the grave, perpetual care, grave liner, and the setting of the government-furnished headstone or marker. Eligible veterans also receive one burial flag and a Presidential Memorial Certificate.

Please note, some state cemeteries may charge for interment of the veteran and eligible spouse or dependent children. Check with your funeral director to get more information about the state veteran cemeteries in your area.

Q: If I choose burial in a private cemetery, will I still receive benefits?

A: Veterans buried in a private cemetery may be eligible to receive a government-furnished headstone, marker, or medallion, one burial flag, and Presidential Memorial Certificate, at no cost to the family. The VA will not pay for cemetery plots or opening and closing of graves at private cemeteries. However, your family can apply for a reimbursement (called an “allowance,” as mentioned above). Spouses and dependents buried in a private cemetery are not eligible to receive any VA benefits.

Q: What happens if my non-veteran spouse or child dies first?

A: Eligible spouses and dependents may be buried in a national cemetery, even if they predecease the veteran. If you are interested in burial at a state veteran cemetery, contact the cemetery directly to find out their regulations on the burial of a non-veteran spouse or child.

Q: How does my family file a claim for burial benefits?

A: For information on how to apply for a burial allowance or plot allowance, click here. If you would like to request burial in a national cemetery, the easiest thing is to let your funeral director know. They can take care of most details for you. However, if you’d like, you can contact the National Cemetery Administration directly at 800-698-2411 (TTY: 711).

Q: As a veteran, can I be buried at Arlington National Cemetery?

A: Burials at Arlington National Cemetery are reserved for:

Service members who die on active duty
Military retirees
Recipients of the Medal of Honor, Distinguished Service Cross, Navy Cross, Air Force Cross, Distinguished Service Medal, Silver Star, or Purple Heart
Burial is also available for eligible spouses and dependent children

Q: Does the VA cover the cost of transportation to a national or state cemetery?

A: If a veteran dies as the result of a service-connected disability, is under VA care at the time of death, or is receiving a VA pension or compensation, some or all of the costs for transporting the veteran’s remains to a national cemetery may be reimbursed. The VA will advise the next of kin or person making the burial arrangements on this matter.

Hopefully, the answers to these frequently asked questions have helped you get a better understanding of the veterans’ burial benefits available through the Department of Veterans Affairs. But of course, should you have questions, don’t hesitate to reach out to the VA directly or contact a trusted funeral professional. Thank you for your service!

May 01

Love0

Shows a view of graves at Arlington National Cemetery with cherry blossom trees

Honoring Our Fallen Heroes: Arlington National Cemetery

By christy.kessler Memorial, Veterans

“Our debt to the heroic men and valiant women in the service of our country can never be repaid. They have earned our undying gratitude. America will never forget their sacrifices.” – President Harry S. Truman

Memorial Day is a day set aside every year to honor and remember the many men and women who have died while serving the United States of America and its people. As we seek to honor them, let us remember them and the great sacrifices they made to preserve life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

Arlington National Cemetery

Shows a view of graves at Arlington National Cemetery with cherry blossom trees

The most well-known of all military cemeteries in the United States, Arlington National Cemetery is a beautiful, solemn, and reverent place, filled with a spirit of heroism, courage, sacrifice, and dedication. With occupants from every major American conflict since the Revolutionary War, Arlington National Cemetery is the final resting place of more than 400,000 military service members and their eligible dependents.

In the beginning, the cemetery was just 200 acres (1864) but has since grown to 639 acres (2020). At present, 25-30 funerals are conducted every weekday and 7-8 each day of the weekend. With burial space dwindling, the National Cemetery Administration is looking into options for how they can ensure military members can continue to request interment at Arlington National Cemetery.

How It Came to Be

The cemetery has a rather unusual history. Arlington National Cemetery used to be Arlington House, the historic family residence of Robert E. Lee. Yes, that Robert E. Lee. Originally established by George Washington Parke Custis, adoptive grandson of George Washington, Arlington House was passed down to Mary Custis Lee, wife of Robert E. Lee.

The Lee family made their home at Arlington House prior to the American Civil War, but they were forced to abandon it after war was declared. Then, the U.S. Army seized the estate for its strategic location overlooking every federal building in the nation’s capital. On May 13, 1864, the first burial was conducted – for Private William Christman. By the end of the war, approximately 16,000 soldiers were interred on the grounds.

However, after the war ended, the Lee family challenged ownership of the estate, saying that it had been illegally confiscated during the war. Taxes had been due, but the family was denied the opportunity to pay the taxes, resulting in the loss of the home. After many years and court dates, the U.S. Supreme Court agreed with the Lee family in 1882. Ownership was returned to George Washington Custis Lee, son of Robert and Mary Custis Lee. He then sold the land back to the U.S. federal government, so it could continue as a national cemetery.

For an even more in-depth history of the cemetery, click here to read an article from Smithsonian Magazine.

Significant Features of the Cemetery

In addition to paying their respects and taking in the sea of white headstones, many visitors to Arlington National Cemetery will stop by three main features: the Eternal Flame, the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, and Arlington House.

The Eternal Flame

Shows Eternal Flame at John F. Kennedy's gravesite

Of the many Americans buried in Arlington National Cemetery, John F. Kennedy (commonly called JFK), the 35^th president of the United States, is perhaps one of the most famous. After his assassination in 1963, his wife Jackie Kennedy wanted the American public to have access to JFK’s grave, so they might pay their respects. As a veteran, JFK was eligible for burial at Arlington National Cemetery.

In the three years following his death, it’s estimated that more than 16 million people visited his final resting place. Because of the large crowds, the Kennedy family constructed a larger grave site and included the Eternal Flame, a symbol of hope and renewal, at the center of its circular design. Jackie Kennedy first lit the flame in 1967.

Tomb of the Unknown Soldier

Three soldiers standing in front of The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, saluting and honoring the soldiers represented

Another prominent and well-known feature of the cemetery is the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. The most hallowed of all graves at Arlington National Cemetery, the tomb is dedicated to the unidentified dead of war.

Constructed in 1921 following World War I, an unidentified solider was selected at random to represent all U.S. unidentified fallen soldiers of the conflict. Now, the tomb also holds the remains of unidentified service members from World War II and the Korean War. Until 1998, a Vietnam War soldier also lay to rest in the tomb. However, through DNA testing, he was identified and returned to his family. His place remains vacant to this day.

The tomb is also famous for its Sentinels or tomb guards. The memorial is guarded 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, and this elite group of soldiers consider it the highest honor to serve. They wear no rank insignia, command silence and respect at the tomb, and actively guard the tomb from any threat. For more information about the tomb, click here.

Arlington House

Shows Arlington House high on the hill, surrounded by blossoming trees and green grass

Originally built by George Washington Parke Custis, the house was intended to be a living memorial to President George Washington. Designed in the Greek revival style, the house includes several wings with bedrooms, formal dining and sitting rooms, a large hall, and a parlor. Following the death of her father, Mary Custis Lee inherited the home, and she and her husband Robert E. Lee lived there for 30 years until the outbreak of the American Civil War.

Built high on a hill overlooking the Potomac River, the house’s memorable exterior includes eight, massive columns. Today, Arlington National Cemetery visitors can tour the home at their leisure. A National Park Ranger is always on duty to answer questions. Arlington House is the most visited home in the entire National Park system, and it’s in the top 5 of most visited historical homes in the United States. It is a striking addition to any visit to the beautiful cemetery grounds.

Why Do We Have Memorials?

Permanent memorials ensure a lasting tribute for those who have been loved and lost. They also allow us, as people, to honor those we wish to always remember. Just as we create memorials for our heroes, we also create them for our loved ones. There are five key reasons why permanent memorials are important, whether it is to commemorate an event, a group of people, or just one person, like a close loved one.

A permanent memorial provides a place for people to mourn.
It gives all mourners (not just family) access to pay their respects and connect with those who have died.
It provides a permanent place that will exist for generations to come.
A permanent memorial allows people the opportunity to remember and reflect on the lives lived.
It ensures that the dead are remembered and respected.

For many of our veterans, a large-scale memorial honors the group as a whole, as is the case with the Vietnam Veterans Memorial or the World War II Memorial. However, at Arlington National Cemetery, individuals are honored. Each headstone states the name and rank of a specific person and remembers their individual service and sacrifice for our nation.

Want to Get Involved?

If you would like to honor those buried in Arlington National Cemetery, consider giving to Wreaths Across America. Every December, this organization lays wreaths at veteran graves at more than 3,700 locations across the nation. If you’d like to get involved, consider sponsoring a wreath or volunteering to participate in a wreath-laying ceremony. For more details, visit the Wreaths Across America website here.

May 01

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Honoring Our Fallen Heroes: Marine Corps War Memorial

By christy.kessler Memorial, Veterans

“Among those who served on Iwo Jima, uncommon valor was a common virtue.” – Fleet Admiral Chester W. Nimitz

Marine Corps War Memorial

Shows image of full memorial

Also known as the Iwo Jima War Memorial, the Marine Corps War Memorial is dedicated to the lives and memory of all Marines who have given their lives in service to the United States since November 10, 1775. A commanding presence, the monument rests on a 7 and ½ acre tract of land approximately 100 feet above the Potomac River. While the monument honors Marines across nearly three centuries, the statue depicts events from Iwo Jima during World War II, a much-contested island during the battle for the Pacific.

How It Came to Be

After the end of World War II, Congress commissioned a memorial to honor the United States Marine Corps. During the Battle for Iwo Jima, six Marines hoisted an American flag atop Mount Suribachi, and photographer Joe Rosenthal of the Associated Press captured the iconic moment. The photo went on to win a Pulitzer Prize and became an inspiration for the Marine Corps War Memorial.

It took sculptor Felix de Weldon nine years to complete the project (1945-1954). Using a design created by Horace W. Peaslee, de Weldon first created the statue in plaster before taking it to Brooklyn, N.Y., for casting in bronze. The casting process alone took three years to complete. Once cast, the disassembled pieces were taken to Washington, D.C., where they were bolted and welded together. To make the statue as realistic as possible, de Weldon even modeled the faces of the men after the original flag-raisers. He was able to cast the faces of two of the surviving flag raisers faces in clay. He also scoured available pictures and records for the likenesses of the remaining four flag raisers.

The total cost of the memorial was $850,000, paid for with private donations from Marines and friends of the Marine Corps. President Dwight D. Eisenhower dedicated the memorial on November 10, 1954, the 179th anniversary of the U.S. Marine Corps.

The Story Behind the Marine Corps War Memorial

The island of Iwo Jima was considered strategically important during the Pacific theater of World War II. It was valuable for its ability to support long-range bombing missions against mainland Japan. Additionally, the Allies planned to use the island for sea and air blockades, intensive air bombardment, and a greater ability to destroy enemy air and naval capabilities.

The fighting began on February 19, 1945, and lasted 36 days. One regiment – the 28^th Marines – sought to capture the extinct volcano Mount Suribachi. They did so on February 23, and as a result, there were actually two flag raisings. The first occurred on the morning of February 23 when the Marines first took the volcano, but the American flag was very small. As a result, Marines fighting all over the island couldn’t see the flag and gain encouragement from it. For that reason, later that same afternoon, six Marines hoisted a larger American flag in its place. It is this second flag raising that photographer Joe Rosenthal captured and became the inspiration for the Marine Corps War Memorial.

The six flag raisers were:

For many years, Rene Gagnon was believed to be one of the six, but the Marine Corps has since corrected that. However, Gagnon did play a major role. He carried the larger flag to the summit and then brought the smaller flag back down.

By the end of the fight for Iwo Jima on March 26, nearly 7,000 Marines had lost their lives. Amongst their number were Sergeant Strank, Corporal Block, and PFC Sousley. But the courage and determination of the Marines live on through the gratitude of an entire nation and the creation of the Marine Corps War Memorial.

Marine Corps War Memorial Statistics

The figures are 32 feet tall.
The bronze flagpole is 60 feet tall.
The flag flies 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.
The figures occupy the same positions they did in the iconic Rosenthal image.
The M-l rifle and the carbine featured in the statue are 16 and 12 feet long, respectively.
The canteen would hold 32 quarts of water.
The figures stand on a rock slope above a granite base. The granite came from Sweden.
The entire memorial is about 78 feet tall.
The names and dates of every principal Marine Corps engagement form a gold ring around the base.

Why Do We Have Memorials?

Permanent memorials ensure a lasting tribute for those who have been loved and lost. They also allow us, as people, to honor those we wish to always remember. Just as we create memorials for our heroes, we also create them for our loved ones. There are five key reasons why permanent memorials are important, whether commemorating an event, a group of people, or just one person, like a close loved one.

A permanent memorial provides a place for people to mourn.
It gives all mourners (not just family) access to pay respects and connect with those who have died.
It provides a permanent place that will exist for generations to come.
A permanent memorial allows people to remember and reflect on lives lost.
It ensures that the dead are remembered and respected.

Large-scale memorials, such as the Vietnam Veterans Memorial or the World War II Memorial, honor an entire group. However, for individuals, families set headstones, grave markers, or inscriptions in place. Both types of memorialization are important and honoring to our veterans and our loved ones.

Want to Get Involved?

If you’d like to honor the Marines, consider volunteering with or donating to non-profits that support Marines and their families. A few reputable organizations to check out are the Marine Corps Association, the Marine Corps League Foundation, Semper Fi & America’s Fund, and the Marine Corps Scholarship Foundation.

Apr 20

Love0

Black and white French bulldog looking out the window

Is My Pet Grieving?

By christy.kessler Pets

Have you noticed behavioral changes in your pet? If you’ve recently lost a member of your family – human or animal – then your pet may be grieving. Pets are often very attuned to their humans and companion pets, so when a death occurs, they are likely to feel it, too. Because pets can’t speak, their grief often manifests in behavioral changes. So, the question becomes, “Is my pet grieving? How do I know?” Let’s talk about it.

Do Pets Grieve?

There’s solid research out there to support the fact that pets – especially dogs and cats – do grieve the loss of an owner or a fellow pet.

In a 2016 study out of New Zealand, it was found that dogs and cats exhibited behavioral changes associated with a death in the home. They were more likely to seek more affection, act clingy or needy, whimper or whine, and eat less, among other changes. Back in 1996, the ASPCA conducted a similar study on cats specifically. They called it the Companion Animal Mourning Project, and they had similar results. In fact, they found that most cats experience a significant increase in vocalization after the death of a family member.

What Behavioral Changes Should I Look For?

As with humans, there’s no right or wrong way for your furry friend to grieve. However, there are certain behaviors that are common indicators that your pet is sad or in distress.

Look for:

Changes in appetite (eating less)
Acting withdrawn or sad
Whining, howling, yowling, or crying
Changes in personality (your standoffish cat becomes a cuddler)
Pacing or searching the house for the missing family member
Hiding from or avoiding other family members
Changes in grooming or bathroom habits (especially in cats)
Showing signs of separation anxiety
Changes in sleeping patterns (sleeping more or less than usual)

In their research on the topic, the ASPCA found that over 60% of pets experience four or more behavioral changes after losing a family member. So, if you think your pet may be grieving, it’s very likely they are!

How Can I Help My Pet Grieve?

If your pet is exhibiting any of these behavioral changes, then they might be experiencing grief. Of course, if you just aren’t sure, make an appointment with your veterinarian. They can help rule out physical causes for the changes in your pet or put you in touch with a veterinary behaviorist (who can help your pet through any behavioral issues).

However, if your pet is grieving, there are some things you can do to help them:

Give them extra love and snuggles

If your pet is acting more needy, give them the extra love and attention they’re craving. It will help both of you as you mourn the loss of a family member.

Reinforce good behavior and ignore bad behavior

If your pet is acting out because of grief (howling, having bathroom troubles, etc.), try not to punish them for it. Instead, be patient with them; the behavior will pass. Additionally, you may be tempted to comfort your pet when they are crying, pacing, or acting distressed. However, if the behavior is unwanted, don’t reinforce it with soft words or pets. You may accidentally end up encouraging the behavior.

Give it time

The death of a family member causes disruption for everyone, including a pet. Everyone needs time to figure out what the household looks like now that a member is gone. With multiple pets, the remaining pets will need to figure out their new social structure, and that takes time.

Maintain daily routines

Go for walks, have playtime, give treats and regular meals. People and pets thrive on routine during times of stress and strain, so as much as possible, give that to your four-legged friend.

Carefully consider when to introduce a new pet

If your current pet was very attached to the pet who has died, don’t be too hasty in bringing a new pet into the home. Give your grieving pet time to process the loss and go back to normal behaviors before introducing a new pet.

Provide entertainment while you’re gone

If your pet is showing signs of separation anxiety, give them things to do when you have to be away from the house. Hide treats around the house, put in a scratching post, lay out favorite toys, or buy a new toy.

Not all pets will exhibit feelings of grief, and that’s completely normal. However, if your pet is amongst the many pets that do grieve the loss of a human or animal family member, give them the care and compassion they need. Establish your new home routines. Give them love and affection (when they aren’t acting out). In time, they should adjust to the new normal in your household, but if their behavioral changes don’t improve or get worse, reach out to your veterinarian for professional help.

Apr 14

Love0

Young man standing in front of casket with his hand resting on it as he says goodbye

130+ Questions Your Family Will Have to Answer After a Death

By christy.kessler Estate Planning, Explore Options, Plan Ahead

Most people don’t realize just how many questions surviving family members will need to answer following the death of a loved one. That’s why advance preparation is so important. From prearranging your funeral plan to gathering all your estate planning documents, you can lessen the burden your family will feel at a time of loss. When they are feeling numb, sad, confused, shocked, it will be a true comfort to know that everything is already organized and complete. It’s a final gift to them.

But what kinds of questions will they have to answer? Here’s a sampling of more than 130 questions that your family will need to answer (and there will likely be even more!).

Vital Statistics & Obituary Information

Older man in blue button-down shirt sitting at table at home, completing forms

What is the deceased’s full name (first, middle, last)?
What is the deceased’s complete home address?
What is the deceased’s telephone number?
What is the deceased’s sex?
What is the deceased’s race?
What is the deceased’s date of birth?
What is the deceased’s place of birth?
What is the deceased’s marital status?
If married, what is the spouse’s name?
What is the deceased’s highest level of education completed?
Is the deceased a veteran (if yes, see additional questions below)?
What is the deceased’s citizenship (American, Canadian, Mexican, etc.)?
What is the deceased’s father’s full name?
What is the deceased’s father’s birthplace?
What is the deceased’s mother’s full name, including maiden name?
What is the deceased’s mother’s birthplace?
What is the deceased’s Social Security number?
How long did the deceased live at any current/former residence(s)?
What was the deceased’s occupation, job title, and work history?
How many years was the deceased employed at each job?
What is the address of the deceased’s last workplace?
What is the telephone number for the deceased’s last workplace?
How long has the deceased lived in the community?
What is the deceased’s date and place of marriage?
Who preceded the deceased in death?
Was the deceased involved in the community? If so, which organizations?
Was the deceased a member of a church or religious organization? If so, which ones?
Did the deceased have any hobbies, interests, or passions to highlight in the obituary?
Are there any favorite family memories, life lessons, or treasured accomplishments to include in the obituary?

Veterans & Servicemembers

Older veteran saluting the American flag

What name did the deceased serve under (full name)?
What branch did the deceased serve in?
What is the deceased’s serial/service number?
What was the deceased’s rank at discharge?
What was the deceased’s date and place of enlistment?
What was the deceased’s date and place of service?
What type of discharge did the deceased receive?
What was the date of discharge?
Do you have a copy of the discharge certificate (DD 214)?
Who will contact the Veterans Administration to report the death?
Would you like to request military honors at the service?
Will interment take place in a state-owned or national veterans cemetery? If yes, which one?
Would you like to receive a presidential memorial certificate in honor of the deceased’s service?
Would you like to request a government-issued headstone?
Would you like to request a government-issued flag to drape over the casket or urn?
Have you talked with the VA about the burial benefits the deceased may be eligible to receive, including monetary assistance?
Are there any special requests or elements you’d like to include at the final tribute in honor of the veteran’s military service?

Funeral Service Information

Service Details

Did the deceased complete a prearranged funeral plan? If so, which funeral home?
If the deceased did not prearrange funeral plans, do you have a preferred funeral home?
Who are the primary contacts for funeral arrangements?
Does the deceased prefer burial or cremation?
Would you like a private ceremony (family only) or one open to the public?
What funeral events would you like to include (funeral service, memorial service, committal service, reception, visitation, viewing, Mass, etc.)?
Once you have determined what funeral events you’d like to include, what dates and times would you like to request for these events?
What clothing would you like the deceased to wear at any open-casket events?
Would you like any food served at the funeral service or a gathering afterward?
Who will serve as pallbearers?
Where would you like the funeral service to take place (funeral home, church, residence, organization, outdoors, etc.)?
What type of service would the deceased prefer (religious, fraternal, military, etc.)?
Are there any reasons to delay the service?
Who will deliver the eulogy? Will there be other speakers?
Would you like an open or closed casket service?
Who would you like to officiate the service (clergy, family member, celebrant, etc.)?
How many death certificates would you like to order (ask funeral director for best practices)?
Would you like to include a framed portrait of the deceased at any services?
How will you pay for the funeral expenses?

Personalization Preferences

Still of an old camera sitting on photos, representing a photographer's life

What music would you like to include at the service? Do you want live music from a musician or vocalist?
Do you want floral arrangements at the service or around the casket/urn?
If so, which florist would you like to use?
Have you written an obituary, or would you like the funeral home to do so?
Do you want a death notice published in a newspaper?
Would you like memorial items available at the service, such as programs, register book, and memorial/prayer cards?
What photos or text would you like to include on any memorial items?
What readings would you like read at the service (poems, religious texts, lyrics, etc.)?
Do you prefer that well-wishers send flowers?
Do you prefer that well-wishers give charitable contributions to a certain organization? If so, which organization?
If there is a gathering or meal after the service, is catering required? If yes, which restaurant?
Are there any personal items you’d like to display at the service or gathering to personalize the event?
Would you like a memorial tribute video with photos/videos from the deceased’s life?
Do you want to include a time for friends and family to share their most precious memories?
Do you have pictures, music, or personal items you’d like to include at the visitation, service, or gathering?
Is there a unique hobby or interest that you’d like to include at the service (firetruck, tractor, motorcycle, quilts, artwork, favorite horse, etc.)?
Are there any favorite foods you’d like include at a gathering or reception?
Are there any activities you’d like to include in the service (singing a favorite song, lighting candles, releasing doves, writing down memories, etc.)?

Cemetery & Committal/Graveside Service

Young woman wearing black dress visits grave and leaves beautiful flowers

With burial, what kind of casket do you prefer?
With cremation, what kind of urn do you prefer?
What kind of headstone or monument do you prefer – plaque, upright, customized, engraved?
What inscription would you like engraved on the headstone?
Does the deceased own a cemetery plot? If yes, where is the deed or proof of ownership?
What is the cemetery lot’s section, lot number, and space number?
Do you know the cemetery name and phone number?
If there’s no cemetery plot, where would you like the deceased to be interred?
For cremated remains, would you prefer urn burial, scattering, columbarium niche, or something else?
What type of outer burial container would you prefer?
Would you like to use the funeral car to transport the family to the committal service?
Would you like to use the flower car to transport floral arrangements to the committal service?
What kind of cemetery property do you want (companion, individual, mausoleum, columbarium, etc.)?
Are there any personal touches you’d like to include at a committal/graveside service (certain music, speakers, military honors, release of butterflies or doves, etc.)?

Estate Planning Assistance

Mature couple sitting at table together as they work on estate planning documents

Did the deceased have a legal will? If so, where is it, and what does it say?
Did the deceased have a power of attorney on file? If so, who is the appointed agent?
Do you have access to all usernames and passwords needed for online accounts?
Where is the deceased’s birth certificate?
Is there a living trust that outlines any special wishes?
Do you have a copy of the deceased’s marriage license?
What is the deceased’s attorney’s name and contact information?
Are there any current or urgent bills to pay?
Are there any medical bills to pay?
Do you have copies of any insurance policies (life, health, accident, property, auto, home, etc.)?
Is all beneficiary information up to date?
Are there any active disability claims for the deceased?
Do you have the deceased’s banking information?
Did the deceased have a safety deposit box? If so, do you have access to it?
Do you have access or information on any other financial accounts in the deceased’s name?
Do you have the correct tax identification number (if applicable)?
Do you have the ability to cancel any direct deposit payments?
Do you have contact information for any creditors, such as mortgages, personal loans, credit card companies, etc.?
Do you have a copy of all property deeds?
Do you have documentation of all vehicle titles or bills of sale?
Do you have access to the deceased’s income tax returns?

Who to Contact After a Death

Young woman making phone calls from her home

Are there any relatives you should inform of the death?
Are there any friends or neighbors you should inform?
Are there any community members you should inform?
Are there any employers or co-workers you should inform?
Who will call the deceased’s employer (if applicable)?
Who will inform the attorney of the death?
Who will inform the accountant of the death?
Who will inform the financial planner of the death?
Who will inform the executor of the death?
Who will inform credit card companies of the death?
Who will call the Social Security Administration to report the death?
Who will call the VA to report the death (if applicable)?
Who will call any necessary insurance companies?
Are there any religious, fraternal, or civic organizations to inform of the death?

As you can see, the list is extensive and includes a wide range of personal and financial topics. Can you imagine trying to answer all these questions in a short period of time? It’s overwhelming, but with a little preparation, you can ensure that everything is easier and smoother for those you love.

For more resources, check out:

What is Advance Funeral Planning?

What to Expect at a Preplanning Appointment

Getting Your Affairs in Order

How to Make Digital Estate Planning Simple

The 5 Most Important Estate Planning Documents

What Are My Burial Benefits as a Veteran?

Apr 06

Love0

focus on two women attending a grief support group, one older and one younger

7 Benefits of Joining a Grief Support Group

By christy.kessler Grief/Loss

After the death of someone you love, it’s hard to come to grips with your new reality. Figuring out how to move forward, how to do life, without their presence can be both physically exhausting and emotionally overwhelming. If you are struggling with the emotions of grief, then it might be time to consider joining a grief support group.

The idea of joining a grief support group might feel uncomfortable, especially if 1) you’re an introverted person, 2) you’ve never done it before, or 3) you don’t like admitting that you need help. But really, grief support groups come in all shapes and sizes. You can choose a group that focuses on a wide range of grief types or select a group that has a narrower focus (spouse loss, child loss, suicide loss, etc.). This way, you will journey with other people going through a similar type of loss. Also, you can choose a group similar in age to yourself or one that spans generations.

No matter which type of group you choose, there are many benefits to attending a grief support group. Let’s discuss seven of those benefits together.

7 Benefits of Joining a Grief Support Group

By joining a grief support group, you can:

1. Build connections and find a sense of community

Perhaps the biggest benefit to joining a support group is finding a community you can be vulnerable with. Depending on your life and circumstances, it might be hard to open up with friends or family members. With a grief support group, you are all there for the same reason – to process your grief and move toward healing and reconciliation. There’s freedom in opening up to people who don’t inform your everyday life and who are solely interested in helping you heal. And if friendships arise from the group, all the better. You have advocates for your continued grief journey.

2. Realize you’re not alone

By nature, grief can be isolating. We all process loss in different ways, and the voice in your mind tries to convince you that you’re absolutely alone. That you’re the only person dealing with these complicated feelings. When you join a grief support group, it quickly becomes clear that you aren’t alone. Your feelings are legitimate, valid, and normal. But most of all – there are other people who understand what you’ve experienced and are figuring out how to deal with it, too.

3. Positively impact your mental health

In many ways, it’s easier to keep our feelings to ourselves, but that’s often not the best choice for good mental health. Getting things off your chest has a cathartic effect. Being open, sharing what’s going on inside, dealing with your emotions – these are all proven ways to deal with stress and improve mental health. In a recent study, it was determined that grief support groups can even help reduce depressive symptoms after loss.

4. Find hope and foster personal resilience

When you’re in the depths of strong emotions, like sadness or anger, it’s hard to see your way through. It may feel like this is just your new norm, and there’s nothing you can do about it. In a grief support group, you will find people who are at various stages of the grief journey. Interacting with people who are further along the grief journey can instill a sense of hope and inspire your own resilience. There is a better future ahead as you actively work through your feelings of grief.

5. See the reality of the grieving process

If this is the first big loss you’ve suffered, then your own feelings may take you by surprise. Is it normal to feel this way? Should I feel this sad or this angry or this lost? In a grief support group, you see people at various stages of grief. They will showcase a wide range of emotions and help you normalize your own feelings. Grief is up and down, slow and messy, strong today and quiet tomorrow. Some people will share their story freely while others will sit back and only listen. Every person processes differently. No matter where you’re at on the spectrum, it’s okay and it’s normal.

6. Discover a safe space to express yourself

Within a grief support group, there’s a commitment to listen, encourage, and help each other. This sense of commitment and camaraderie creates a unique opportunity to be real. Surrounded by a group of hurting people, you don’t have to hide your own hurt. Instead, you can open up. Create common bonds with the people around you. Express what’s going on in your own heart and mind freely. This is a safe space – a place where you won’t be judged, a place where you can find validation and encouragement.

7. Learn from the wisdom of others

No matter how many times you’ve experienced loss, every death hits different. Because of that, you may feel even more lost as to how to process your feelings. In a grief support group, you have access to a wealth of knowledge and experience. You will hear about coping skills that are new to you. You may learn more about how the mind and the body react to grief. With the valuable insights and tools you learn, you can create daily practices that will help you manage your own grief and move toward healing.

Should I Attend Online or In Person?

Ultimately, the decision between online and in person depends on either your preference or what’s available in your area.

With an online group, you can join from the comfort of your home and choose what level of involvement you want. Plus, an online group would be an excellent option for those who are homebound or have responsibilities that prevent them from attending in person.

With an in-person group, you can still choose your level of involvement, but you also have the option to go deeper. For instance, a few people may want to grab coffee or dinner after a group session. Plus, if you feel a connection to someone’s story, you have the option to catch them after class for a one-on-one conversation. That’s not easily possible with online groups.

Simply weigh the pros and cons. Evaluate your personal circumstances. Then, choose what works best for you.

What if a Grief Support Group Isn’t Right for Me?

While grief support groups help thousands of people every year, it’s not the best fit for everyone, and that’s okay. If you are feeling overwhelmed, discouraged, out of place, or unwanted, try going to one-on-one grief counseling first. After you have a better grip on your own grief, you can then transition to a grief support group your counselor recommends.

Now that you understand the many benefits of grief support groups, it’s time to decide whether or not to visit groups in your area. Contact your local funeral home, a church, a local grief counselor’s office, or go online to familiarize yourself with the grief resources available locally. Then, choose one that best fits your age, location, or type of loss and find the supportive encouragement you need for the grief journey ahead.

Mar 23

Love0

Sympathy Gifts You Can Mail

By christy.kessler Grief/Loss, Helping a Friend in Grief

If someone you know has recently suffered the loss of a loved one, it’s natural to want to offer comfort and support. In fact, it’s a good thing. It shows that you’re thinking of them and understand they are going through something hard right now. But what if you’re too far away to offer in-person support? You can still let them know you care by sending sympathy gifts through the mail!

Today, let’s talk about some gift options you can easily send through the mail to offer support and love to a grieving friend or family member. But remember – this list isn’t comprehensive! Feel free to come up with your own creative ideas.

Food Gift Basket

You may not live close enough to drop off a casserole at your friend’s home, but you can order a food basket for them. There are so many companies out there that specialize in food baskets. Whether you want to send fruit, sweets, savories, or a mix, you are sure to find a basket that fits your own expectations and budget while also matching your friend’s favorite eats.

Gift Card

Whether you want to help with meals, gas, or other household needs, you can send a gift card through the mail. Choose their favorite eatery, grocery store, or gas station. Or, if you want to give them broader options, send an Amazon or Visa/Mastercard gift card. In a similar vein, you can give them gift cards to Door Dash, GrubHub, or some other food delivery service, so they can order a meal without having to leave the house.

Weighted Blanket

After a loss, sleep can be elusive. Stress, racing thoughts, and strong emotions can keep you awake at night. However, many people praise weighted blankets for their ability to calm anxiety and fight insomnia. These blankets work through deep pressure stimulation – applying pressure over the entire body in a way that creates a sense of comfort and calm. Most are available in weights from 5 to 30 pounds, and it’s recommended to purchase a blanket that is roughly 10% of the person’s body weight.

Flowers or Seed Kits

For many years, flowers have been a staple gift to those who are grieving. They are an excellent way to bring life and beauty to a home and to let someone know you are thinking of them. Another plant gift alternative is to give a flower kit (like for roses or hydrangeas) or a memorial tree kit. Each of these gifts will allow the grieving person to watch the plant grow over time and act as a sweet reminder that their loved one is not forgotten. They can even put a little plaque near the tree or plant that says “In Memory of” to make it more special.

Grief or Self-Care Book

With this gift, you do have to be sensitive. If possible, choose a book that has helped you personally. Whether you choose a book about grief or a book on self-care, there are many options out there. And if you aren’t familiar with a book, check out online reviews or ask family and friends what books helped them through a loss. Then, with a thoughtful note, mail the book to your grieving friend.

Calming Tea & Mug Set

Sitting down at home with a hot cup of non-caffeinated tea, wrapped up in a blanket with a good book or TV show can have a truly calming effect. And after the death of a loved one, there’s so much that may cause stress, worry, doubt, and confusion. According to research, tea has a calming effect on the nervous system, helps reduce stress and anxiety, and promotes a feeling of well-being. Some of the most calming teas are chamomile, lavender, mint, rooibos, and green tea. Pair a tea with a cute or inspirational mug, and you have a caring sympathy gift you can mail.

Homemade Spa Set

If your grieving friend adores relaxing in the bath, a homemade spa set may be the perfect sympathy gift. Put together a smattering of bath bombs, aromatherapy candles, and scented Epsom salt to create the perfect self-care package. You could also include their favorite beverage or a relaxing playlist of songs. And if you just don’t know what items to select, you can also choose a spa gift set online and have it delivered right to their door.

Sympathy Gift Box

Just as there are many food gift boxes out there, many companies specialize in creating sympathy gift boxes. All you have to do is type “sympathy gift box” into your search browser and a multitude of options will pop up. Some boxes focus on food, self-care, calming or creative activities, or even humor and laughter. Simply choose a gift box that fits your grieving friend’s personality and send it to them.

Hand-drawn Portrait

While this gift will take more time, effort, and talent, it also has the potential to be deeply meaningful. If possible, find an image online of the person who has died and then hand-draw or paint a portrait of them. Choose whatever size or medium you prefer and go to work creating something truly unique. When your grieving friend opens the package, there will be tears, of course, but there will also be sweet memories that bring comfort and healing.

Stuffed Animal

For some adults and definitely grieving children, a stuffed animal brings a smile. Many people have an affinity to a certain type of animal, which makes it the perfect sympathy gift. Some love teddy bears, unicorns, cats, bunnies, or red pandas – simply go to the store or online and find the stuffed toy that makes the most sense. Then, when feelings of grief come, your friend can look at the animal, give it a hug, and remember that you care.

Special Photo & Frame

Sometimes the simple things can mean the most. By purchasing a personalized frame and pairing it with a sweet photo, you can create an impactful gift. Choose a photo you know the grieving person loves or send them a photo they may not have. Include yourself in the photo, when possible, but keep the focus on your friend and their lost loved one. Add your own special touch with a handwritten note of love and support.

Themed Gift Box

While you can certainly find themed gift boxes online, you can easily create your own. Let’s say your grieving friend loves pineapples. Go to the store or online and find all the pineapple things you can. Pineapple hand towels, soaps, dried fruit, stuffed toy, flavored tea, mug, bathrobe, whatever. Then put everything in a box with pineapple tissue paper and card. When your friend receives it, they will find comfort in the time you took to create the perfect package, tailored to them.

No matter what sympathy gift you choose to mail, the key is to find something that’s personal, practical, and comforting. Think about what your grieving friend likes and choose something that will benefit them most. If you don’t know them well, choose something that would comfort you personally. They will still feel the sentiment and know that you care about what they’re going through.

Mar 10

Love0

Understanding Half-Couch versus Full-Couch Caskets

By christy.kessler Cemeteries, Explore Options, Plan Ahead, Planning Tools

After losing a loved one, a viewing or visitation can be a sweet moment of remembrance and an opportunity to say a final goodbye in person. As you put together this meaningful event, one thing you will need to decide is whether to use a full-couch or a half-couch casket. But what’s the difference between them? Let’s talk about it.

What is a Half-Couch Casket?

If you live in the United States, you are likely most familiar with a half-couch casket. This means that there’s a seam in the middle of the casket, which splits the lid into two different pieces. This design element allows you to open just the top or the bottom of the casket. At many viewings, the head section is open, so that mourners can see the face and torso of the person who has died. The lower half of the body remains covered by the bottom section of the lid.

What is a Full-Couch Casket?

While less common, full-couch caskets are also used across the United States. For example, singer James Brown was laid to rest in a full-couch casket after a viewing open to the public. The only difference from a half-couch casket is that the lid is one solid piece. When you open the casket, you see the entire body, though often the legs are covered with a blanket of some sort.

Does It Matter Which I Choose?

Ultimately, it’s up to your personal preference.

Both options:

Will facilitate an open- or closed-casket viewing or visitation
Are appropriate for burial in a cemetery
Are available in a variety of styles and materials

In some areas of the country, one type may be more popular than the other, but again, it boils down to preference. For closed-casket services, the full-couch offers a more “complete” look (no middle seam), which is important to some. However, since the lid completely closes on both types, either could be chosen for a closed-casket event.

If you’re on the fence and just aren’t sure which to choose, speak with a funeral professional about their experience helping other families. They can give you an insider’s view on the pros and cons of each type.

Are There Any Specific Benefits to Each Type?

While the main difference is the lid, there are subtle benefits to each type you may want to consider.

Half-Couch

Brings the focus to the deceased person’s face
Some caskets cost less because the foot portion is less detailed (it won’t be seen)
With a particularly tall person, the half-couch style can disguise the need to bend the knees to fit the body into the casket (oversized caskets are more expensive)

Full-Couch

Allows full view of the deceased’s body, which may be important for the family
May meet religious needs or cultural norms for your area
Commonly used when there is no viewing

As you can see, the only strong factor to pull you to one casket or the other is whether you have specific regional, cultural, or religious needs. Otherwise, you can select either option and get everything you need.

Does the Casket Type Affect Personalization Options?

In general, you can decorate and personalize however you want with both types. With flowers, the spray can either lay across the middle with a full-couch or on the lower portion of the half-couch (when the lid is open). For veterans, the U.S. flag will be placed in a slightly different location depending on whether you select full-couch or half-couch. Any other items you want to place on or around the casket can be arranged with the funeral professionals assisting you.

What About Cost?

All caskets – full-couch and half-couch – are available in a variety of styles and materials. This means that there’s going to be a range of prices. As an extreme example, if you get a gold-plated casket, it’s going to be expensive whether you choose full-couch or half-couch. If cost is a determining factor for you, then use that to guide whether you choose full- or half-couch. There are affordable options with both types, so you will be able to find something that meets your budget.

Hopefully, you now have a better understanding of the differences between full-couch and half-couch caskets. If you’d like to know more about wood, steel, and eco-friendly caskets, take a minute to read “How to Select a Casket.”

Feb 21

Love0

Three friends celebrating as they summit a mountain after a hike together

Do You Have a Bucket List? Here’s Why You Should

By christy.kessler Living Well

We all have things we want to accomplish before we die, but with all the demands in life, it’s hard to find the time (and resources) to do them all. But in many ways, it’s important to have a bucket list because it’s so hard to find the time. Rather than spend our days on things we aren’t passionate about, a bucket list can help us focus in on the things that matter. Today, let’s talk about why bucket lists are important and how you can put achievable goals on your list!

pen with red notebook with the words bucket list in the upper left corner

Quick note before we begin: think of a bucket list and a wish list as two different things. A bucket list should be filled with dreams but dreams you can actively work toward achieving. A wish list can include all the other fantastical and amazing things that would be incredible, but you don’t want to put specific effort into accomplishing.

Why Should I Create a Bucket List?

As you consider what to put on your list, here are several reasons why a bucket list can be helpful:

1. A bucket list can provide purpose

Having hopes, dreams, and goals can give you purpose, focus, and direction in your life. By choosing to pursue a particular gift, talent, or dream, you can make choices that push you ever closer to accomplishing things you didn’t think possible.

2. A bucket list can ignite your creativity

When you’re focused on accomplishing something, you come up with all kinds of ways to make it happen. Whether it means taking classes, learning a new painting technique, or improving your rock climbing strength, you can push your creativity (and your inspiration) to new heights.

3. A bucket list can create meaningful memories

No matter how long it takes you to accomplish each item on your bucket list, you’re going to make memories along the way. You will learn and grow, becoming a different and better person through the process.

4. A bucket list can help you enjoy life

Have you ever noticed that when you’re working toward a goal or finishing a project, it makes you happy? A bucket list can do the same! If you really embrace the practice, it can give you an added zest for life as you work toward achieving your dreams!

If you’ve decided that you definitely want to write out your very own bucket list, it’s important to make sure that your goals are achievable. But how do you do that? Let’s talk about it.

How Do I Set Achievable Goals?

The first step is to write down the things you’d like to add to your bucket list. Then, for each entry, you will need to set sub-goals. These sub-goals will help you accomplish each bucket list item. But how can you be smart about setting these goals? Use the S.M.A.R.T. method!

The S.M.A.R.T. goal-setting concept originated in 1981, and because it’s so effective, it’s still a much-used practice today. Basically, any goals you set (i.e., any items on your bucket list) should be Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound (S.M.A.R.T.).

Let’s say that one of your goals is to visit Washington, D.C. someday. Using that example, let’s talk through each section of the S.M.A.R.T. goal method.

Specific

When you write an entry on your bucket list, don’t be vague. For example, a vague goal would say, “I want to see museums in Washington, D.C.” A specific goal would be “I want to see the Hope Diamond at the National Museum of Natural History in Washington, D.C.” When you add specificity, you make the goal easier to track and measure, which keeps you accountable and helps you achieve.

Measurable

When you add a goal to your bucket list, you should be able to track your progress. You’re going to need to pay for that Washington, D.C. trip. Rather than put “Pay for Washington, D.C.” on your list, say “Save $7,000 for my once-in-a-lifetime trip to Washington, D.C.” Now, you can better measure how close you are to actually achieving your goal of visiting the city.

Achievable

When you set a goal, it should be something that’s possible for you to accomplish with your own tools and resources. For example, when you’re in Washington, D.C., you might want to say, “Talk to the President of the United States.” But how likely is that to happen? Do you have the right resources or know the right people to make that happen? If you do, put it on the list! If you don’t, move on to something more achievable.

Relevant

Your goals should be relevant to your overall objective. In this example, your overall objective is to visit Washington, D.C. A non-relevant goal would be “Try out a new haircut.” While you may want to sport that new haircut while you’re in D.C., it’s not relevant to actually getting there and achieving your bucket list item.

Time-bound

Lastly, it’s useful to have a timeframe. If you just say, “I want to visit Washington, D.C. in my lifetime,” it may never happen. However, if you decide that you want to see cherry blossom season at the National Mall, you can say, “I will visit Washington, D.C., in April two years from now.” Then, you can start planning and saving with a deadline in mind.

Pro Tip: Don’t try to do everything at once.

Depending on what’s on your bucket list, you may only work on a handful of goals at a time. For example, it’s hard to save for a trip to Washington, D.C., while also saving for a trip to Italy. But, you could be saving toward a trip to Washington, D.C., while also teaching yourself to knit, learning how to polka, or trying out pink highlights in your hair.

Often, we think of a bucket list as consisting of things that are almost unachievable. But today, we’re challenging that mindset! Choose the things that matter to you and work toward achieving them with smart goals and intentional steps. A beautiful, meaningful, and purposeful life doesn’t come with a specific blueprint – you have to figure out what yours looks like, and it will be unique to you!

Feb 14

Love0

Older man sitting on couch with laptop sitting on coffee table in front of him, thinking and writing on pad of paper

6 Ways You Can Save Money with Funeral Preplanning & Prefunding

By christy.kessler Explore Options, Plan Ahead, Planning Tools

A recent survey revealed that while more than 50% of participants said they were likely to preplan their own funeral, only 7% of had actually done it. Many people understand that preplanning their funeral is a good idea, yet they are unsure of the steps to take and if they can afford it. However, preplanning and prefunding your funeral wishes can actually help you save money in the long run. This article will discuss 6 reasons why preplanning your funeral is a wise financial decision.

Older man sitting on couch with laptop sitting on coffee table in front of him, thinking and writing on pad of paper

First, why should you consider preplanning and prefunding a funeral?

Think about it. If you were to die suddenly and unexpectedly, what would your family have to do? They probably don’t know your wishes, so they will be worried about what to do. They may not have the funds to pay for a funeral out of pocket, so they will be worried about finances. On top of that, they will likely be in shock and a cloud of grief, making it hard to make decisions. Funeral preplanning takes care of all of these worries and fears by documenting your wishes, and just about every funeral home offers this service for free! With your wishes in writing, your family will know what you want so they can make decisions with confidence and certainty.

Then, if you take the next step and prefund your funeral plan, you are protecting your family financially by taking care of the cost of a funeral ahead of time. This relieves your family of the financial burden that comes with a loss. So, with a plan in place for both your wishes and finances, you remove most of the burdens that usually fall on loved ones during a time of loss. All they need to do is gather together, comfort one another, and mourn. For more information on why funeral preplanning is a great idea, take a moment to read 10 Reasons to Plan Ahead.

Young man wearing a gray sweater who is counting dollar bills

6 Ways You can Save Money with Funeral Preplanning & Prefunding

Now that you understand what funeral preplanning and prefunding is and why it matters, let’s talk about the ways that it can help your family save money – both now and in the future.

1. You Can Protect Your Funeral Funds Against Inflation

Inflation is one of those facts of life. Simply put, prices always tend to go up, and that includes the cost of a funeral. However, when you prefund with a funeral insurance policy, the policy is specifically set up to grow over time so it can offset the effects of inflation. This means that the earlier you prefund your funeral plan the better because prefunding protects your purchasing power over time, and that’s a big plus!

2. You Can Pay Over Time in Installments

Another big perk to prefunding with a funeral insurance policy is that it makes a funeral much more affordable. Instead of having to pay for everything all at once, you can set up monthly payments that fit into your budget. That can be especially important to those living on a fixed income. Plus, once the policy is paid in full, it’s paid off! You don’t have to make any further payments, which isn’t true of life insurance policies or final expense policies.

Man sitting at coffee table with calculator, adding up the cost

3. You May Be Able to Lock in Today’s Pricing

In some states, when you plan ahead, funeral homes offer a guarantee that “locks in” their pricing at today’s prices. That means that even if your funeral is 20 years from now, your family won’t have to pay the difference on rising funeral and merchandise costs. This can be a huge benefit, especially when we don’t know what the economy (or the price of a casket) will look like in 20 years. This benefit isn’t available at every funeral home or in every state, so be sure to contact your funeral home to check into the specifics or to find out what other affordable options they provide.

4. You Can Preserve Assets through Medicaid Qualification

Do you think you will need to qualify for long-term care assistance through Medicaid at some point? Then prefunding can help you preserve assets for your family. With Medicaid, you can’t qualify until you have depleted your savings (often to around $2,000). Let’s say you have $50,000 in savings. You will be expected to spend $48,000 on your own long-term care before Medicaid will kick in. However, a properly structured prepaid funeral plan is one of only a handful of ways you can preserve assets for your family!

In other words, you can use some or all of that $48,000 to pay for your own funeral wishes, and in many states, you can pay for funeral items for a spouse, child, and even siblings or parents. This way, your $48,000 will benefit your family and not go toward paying nursing home costs! To learn more about this way to save money, go to Medicaid Qualification Rules and How to Spend Down with a Burial Plan.

shows stethoscope with a small chalkboard that says Medicaid

5. You Can Save Life Insurance Proceeds for Your Family

Roughly 40% of people choose to use life insurance funds to pay for a funeral at the time of loss. But did you know that there are actually some drawbacks to this plan?

Life insurance claims take 6-8 weeks to process. Your family will likely pay out-of-pocket expenses until the claim is paid.
If life insurance funds are used to cover funeral expenses, there may not be much left over for other expenses that life insurance was intended to cover (living expenses, lost income, medical bills, credit cards, other debts, etc.)
Over time, as prices go up, your purchasing power goes down, meaning your family will pay more for the funeral if it’s not prefunded.

On the other hand, if you prefund with a funeral insurance policy, the funds will be available right away and none of your life insurance proceeds will be depleted for funeral costs. That puts more money in your survivors’ hands and relieves the financial stress that comes after a death.

Shows carefree multi-generational family walking outside together and having fun

6. You Can Remove Financial Burdens from Your Family

By preplanning and prefunding ahead of time, you give your surviving loved ones a loving gift and protect them during a time of loss. Here’s how:

Keeps them from overspending

During times of grief, judgment can become clouded, and it’s hard to make decisions. In addition to walking around in this grief-induced mental fog, if your family has no idea what kind of funeral you want, they may opt for choosing “only the best.” That means they may spend a lot more money than you would have wanted them to spend. You can protect them from overspending by recording your funeral wishes in advance.

Keeps them from scrambling to pay for a funeral

Having no plan in place is a plan…but it leaves your family in a tough spot. It means they are left scrambling and worrying about how to come up with funeral funds in a hurry. They may have to take out a loan, use a credit card, or launch a GoFundMe campaign. This leaves them with a financial burden that they may not be prepared to carry. By preplanning and prefunding ahead of time, you can remove that burden from them entirely!

Father, son, and grandson sitting on a couch, looking at a laptop together while smiling

So, What’s Next?

Now that you know how you can save with funeral preplanning and prefunding, it’s time to take the next step. You can start by contacting a reputable funeral home in your area. They will listen to your thoughts and ideas and help you create a funeral plan that meets your needs and fits comfortably into your budget.

If you’d like to learn more about funeral preplanning, here are some helpful resources:

What is Advance Funeral Planning?

What to Expect at a Preplanning Appointment

10 Reasons to Plan Ahead

9 Preplanning Mistakes to Avoid

10 Questions to Ask Before You Prepay Your Funeral

3 Funeral Insurance Options You Should Know About