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Courtney Cook

Sep 05
Love0
Record player

10 Songs from the 1960s for a Celebration of Life

By Meaningful Funerals, Music

Record player

One of the most important parts of a funeral is music. When we’re grieving, music helps us express our feelings in ways that words can’t and helps us feel the emotions we’ve been holding back. Additionally, the songs played at a funeral or celebration of life set the tone for the gathering and help create a healing and meaningful service.

While many people assume that songs played at a funeral must be quiet, sad, or traditional, that’s not necessarily true! When planning a funeral, you can choose personalized music. For example, select your loved one’s favorite song or melodies that are meaningful to your family. If your loved one grew up in the 1960s or just loved music from that era, check out these 1960s songs you could include in their funeral, memorial service, or celebration of life.

My Way (Frank Sinatra, 1969)

I’ve lived a life that’s full
I traveled each and every highway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way

Possibly the most famous Frank Sinatra song and one of the most popular funeral songs, “My Way” is a classic for a reason. Throughout this song, the slow, sweet rhythm perfectly matches Sinatra’s beautiful voice, creating a timeless melody. Because of the bold lyrics, “My Way” is the perfect song to include at a funeral or celebration of life to honor someone who always did things in their own unique way!

Stand By Me (Ben E. King, 1962)

I won’t cry, I won’t cry, no I won’t shed a tear
Just as long as you stand, stand by me

Losing a loved one is heartbreaking, which is why we need support during those difficult times. When we’re grieving a loss, “Stand By Me” can remind us that we can face anything with the people we love by our side. At the same time, this song is a lovely nod to the relationship we still have with the ones we have lost, which remains strong even as it transitions to a relationship of memory.

Spirit in the Sky (Norman Greenbaum, 1969)

When I die and they lay me to rest
Gonna go to the place that’s the best

One of the more upbeat songs on this list, the fun, quirky sound of “Spirit in the Sky” might seem out of place at many funerals. But the song speaks about Heaven and the hope of reuniting in the future. When you plan a celebration of life, this song could be a unique way to honor a loved one who was always upbeat and hopeful.

I’ll Remember You (Elvis Presley, 1966)

To your arms someday, I’ll return to stay
‘Til then I will remember too

We had to include at least one Elvis song on our list! This beautiful song speaks about never forgetting a loved one, even when they are gone. Throughout “I’ll Remember You,” Elvis’s soulful voice captures the deep longing for a lost loved one. Even more importantly, the beautiful lyrics make this the perfect tune to play at a funeral, memorial, or celebration of life. In addition, this song would work very well in a memorial video.

You’ll Never Walk Alone (Gerry & The Pacemakers, 1963)

Walk on, walk on
With hope in your heart
And you’ll never walk alone

If you watch a lot of soccer/football, this song may be familiar to you! “You’ll Never Walk Alone” is more than the anthem of the Liverpool Football Club – it’s also a beautiful call to hope during dark times. Whether your loved one was a football fan or not, this song can encourage your friends and family as you grieve together.

Who Knows Where the Time Goes? (Fairport Convention, 1969)

I have no fear of time
For who knows how my love grows?
And who knows where the time goes?

Part of grieving is mourning the loss of more time with our loved ones. “Who Knows Where the Time Goes?” is a sweet song about the passage of time and the sorrow of a loved one leaving. Because of that, this song would be wonderful for a funeral or celebration of life, and it could also work very well as a background song for a slideshow of photos of your loved one.

If We Never Meet Again This Side Of Heaven (Johnny Cash, 1962)

If we never meet again this side of Heaven
As we struggle through this world and its strife
There’s another meeting place somewhere in Heaven

A thoughtful melody about reuniting in Heaven, “If We Never Meet Again This Side of Heaven” is a song of hope for the future. With this comforting song, we can find hope by remembering that we will someday see our loved ones again. “If We Never Meet Again This Side of Heaven” would make a great addition to any kind of service, especially for someone who was a Johnny Cash fan.

Turn! Turn! Turn! (The Byrds, 1965)

To everything turn, turn, turn
There is a season turn, turn, turn
And a time to every purpose under Heaven

Based on the book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible, this classic song captures the idea that there is hope in our darkest moments. While the difficult season we are in may seem unending, we can remember that other seasons will come and that there is purpose in our pain. Because of the encouragement “Turn! Turn! Turn!” offers, listening to this song can give mourners hope that better times are coming.

In My Life (The Beatles, 1965)

There are places I’ll remember
All my life, though some have changed

A nostalgic song that reminisces about days gone by, “In My Life” is a pondering reflection about the love we still have for those who are no longer with us. Even after we lose a loved one, they still exist in our memories, which we can cherish forever. Listening to this song at a funeral or when you miss your loved one can remind you of your favorite moments with the ones you love.

Daddy Sang Bass (Johnny Cash, 1968)

One of these days and it won’t be long
I’ll rejoin them in a song
I’m gonna join the family circle at the throne

Losing family members can be one of the hardest trials we face as we grow older. “Daddy Sang Bass” is an upbeat song all about the comfort songs bring and the hope of reuniting with our loved ones in Heaven. While this song will work for almost any funeral, it would make a great addition to a funeral or celebration of life for a dad or a beloved father figure.

Hopefully, these songs have opened your eyes to a whole new way of selecting music for funerals. However, if the 1960s just aren’t the right genre for your funeral planning needs, please check out these other resources:

Songs from other decades

Other musical options for a meaningful funeral

Sep 05
Love0
Row of gravestones with flowers at a cemetery

Burial FAQs: What Are Your Burial Options?

By Cemeteries, Explore Options No Comments

Burial traditions across many cultures have one thing in common—a permanent resting place is essential for honoring and remembering loved ones. But you have many options when choosing a permanent resting place, like ground burial, interment in a crypt, natural burial, or burial at sea.

With all those options come many questions. As you consider burial options for yourself or a loved one, choosing what’s right for you and your family is most important. To give you a better understanding of your burial options, here are some answers to common questions about burial! 

What Does a Traditional Burial Entail?

Red roses on top of a headstone

When you choose traditional burial services from a funeral home, you can expect a package that covers all aspects of the funeral and burial. This includes fees for the funeral director and staff, transportation of the body, embalming, burial containers (such as a casket and vault), facilities for visitation or viewing, arrangements for memorial or funeral services, graveside services, opening-and-closing costs (such as gravesite preparation, back-filling, and landscaping), and the hearse and other necessary vehicles.

While some traditional burial packages may include cemetery options, some cemeteries require additional expenses for preparations. These may include a cemetery lot or crypt, perpetual care of the gravesite, a grave liner, or the grave marker, monument, or headstone (which could include installation fees).

What Are My Burial Options?

Choices for burial options can vary greatly, depending on your preferences and budget. Cemeteries may provide most or all of these property options for selection and purchase:

  • Single burial space – used for the burial of one person or cremated remains
  • Double-depth space – used for two individual persons, one buried at a deeper depth and the other buried at a normal depth on top of the first
  • Family lot – a designated area used for multiple family members
  • Mausoleum – a public or private building for above-ground placement of caskets within crypt spaces.
    • Private mausoleum – a building, typically an adorned stand-alone building, that houses the remains of family members and creates a space for private visitation
    • Community mausoleums – a community, usually climate-controlled building, where families can select the location and level of the crypt and personalize crypt plates and crypt markers

As you consider the options available, think about what will work for you and your family. Would your family rather have one shared, private space for everyone? Or are you all fine with a public area? Talk to your family about these options as you make your decisions.

What Should I Ask Before I Buy Cemetery Property?

Row of gravestones with flowers at a cemetery

Before purchasing cemetery property, research your area cemeteries to determine which options best fit your needs. There are four types of cemeteries:

  • Private cemetery – private property designated as a cemetery where burial spaces are not sold to the public and burials are restricted to members of a family or friends of the family.
  • Public cemetery – a privately-owned or municipal cemetery property where burial spaces and lots are sold to the public.
  • National or state cemetery – a government-owned cemetery in which eligible veterans, their spouses, and dependents may be buried at little or no cost to the family. If you are a veteran, learn more about veterans’ burial benefits here.
  • Natural or green cemetery – a cemetery that requires a biodegradable casket or urn and places limitations on embalming.

Each kind of cemetery has its own benefits and drawbacks. Many cemeteries require fees to maintain the grounds, monuments, headstones, or markers. These may be included in the property value, so be sure to inquire whether or not perpetual care is included or if there are separate fees for upkeep. You may also request information about any rules or regulations the cemetery might enforce. Many cemeteries have rules about the types of monuments or markers permitted, seasonal decorations, grave candles, and flower placement.

Who Should I Speak to About Cemetery Needs?

Funeral homes are a great starting place for figuring out your cemetery needs. But while some funeral homes have their own cemetery, many do not. If the funeral home you are working with isn’t associated with a cemetery, they can help you find a local cemetery that fits your needs. In general, though, cemetery needs should be taken care of at the cemetery itself. Once you’ve chosen a cemetery, talk to them to find out more about the options they offer.

But how do you know if you should talk to the funeral home or the cemetery about your questions? Here’s a quick breakdown! For questions about caskets and grave liners or burial vaults, speak to the funeral home. For questions about a plot, opening and closing of the grave, or setting a monument, speak with the cemetery.

What Are My Casket Options?

brown casket with lace lining

Caskets come in many different materials and a variety of price points. The selection of a casket is solely up to you and your family. Is there a particular type of casket that might be meaningful to your family? Modern caskets are typically made of wood or metal, lined inside with different fabrics. Most caskets are either half-couch or full-couch caskets. Typically, the cost depends on the materials used for construction. Some caskets (typically made of metal) withstand outside elements. Other caskets, such as those used in green burials (made of hemp, wicker, and other biodegradable materials), encourage the process of decomposition. No matter what type of casket you choose, you can personalize the casket by adding photos or special items.

What is an Outer Burial Container?

Most cemeteries require an outer burial container to prevent uneven landscapes and avoid sinking ground. Most outer burial containers, or burial vaults, are constructed from concrete and metal. At burial, these containers are placed around the casket in the ground. The costs of outer burial containers vary depending on the type of material. When you look for a cemetery, you can ask whether or not they require an outer burial container.

What is Natural Burial?

Green plant growing out of soil

Natural burial, or green burial, is a burial with minimal environmental impact. Natural burials are becoming more prevalent and are a great option for those who want to be conscious of the environment. Green burials may include a nontoxic, biodegradable casket, urn, or a burial shroud. There is usually no embalming, or if embalming must occur, eco-friendly embalming fluid can be used. A green burial usually takes place in a dedicated green cemetery or natural preserve.

Please note that green burial grounds are not available everywhere. Check the Green Burial Council’s website for a listing of certified green burial providers. If you want a natural burial, you may still have the option in a conventional cemetery. A more natural burial can also occur by using a wood or biodegradable casket. If the cemetery requires a vault or grave liner, you can turn it upside down without a lid to allow the casket to degrade naturally.

What If Traditional Burial Isn’t Right for Me?

couple standing by the ocean

There are plenty of alternatives to traditional burial! The most common alternative to burial is cremation. Some people choose to donate their bodies to medical science. However, this is not a true form of disposition since the body is usually cremated and returned to the family after about a year. Examples of less common forms of disposition are burial at sea or alkaline hydrolysis (water cremation or aquamation).

There are also different memorial options with cremation. You can turn hair or cremated remains into a diamond, create Parting Stones, or send remains to space. Newer, experimental developments in body disposition include cryogenic freezing, space burial, mushroom suits, plastination (preservation of body parts by replacing water and fat with plastics), and promession (freeze drying with liquid nitrogen and using vibration and dehydration to reduce the body to a dry powder).

As you make decisions about burial, please remember that each state has its own laws and may not legally recognize all forms of disposition. Check your state and local laws to ensure that the disposition method you wish to use is legal. You may also transfer a body to another location where your chosen form of disposition may be legally carried out. To learn more about all your options, talk to a trusted funeral professional. They can help you understand all of your options and make decisions that work best for you and your family.

Aug 16
Love0
Grandparents laughing with young granddaughter

The Importance of Laughter in Hospice Care

By Grief/Loss, Hospice, Living Well

When you or someone you love receives a terminal diagnosis, the last thing you may feel like doing is laughing. As the transition to end-of-life care begins, you may feel overwhelmed by various emotions, like fear, anger, sadness, or despair.

But a positive mindset and humor can improve the quality of life of a person in hospice, boost their physical and mental health, and help them cope with their new situation. As you and your family begin to process the terminal diagnosis, laughter – at appropriate times – can bring you together and help you grieve well together.

Here are four ways laughter and humor benefit those in hospice care. Plus, make sure you read to the end for some helpful tips for creating a positive atmosphere during this difficult time!

Benefit #1: Laughter helps you cope

adult daughter hugging and smiling with elderly father

Coping with a terminal diagnosis can be difficult for both a patient and their family. But humor can help you change your perspective and make the most of the time you have left together. While death is serious, end-of-life situations often come with weird, peculiar moments, and laughing at those situations can help you have a more positive mindset. Plus, humor is a positive coping skill that can show acceptance, rather than avoidance, of the situation.

Benefit #2: Laughter provides relief

elderly couple laughing together while watching a movie

Laughter can also benefit those in hospice by relieving stress and tension. When we’re in a stressful situation, we often hold in our emotions. These emotions build within us, creating pressure. Laughter releases that pressure and brings those emotions to the surface, providing relief from the stress and tension. This doesn’t mean that negative emotions disappear; instead, laughter helps us relax and cope with our emotions in a healthier way.

Benefit #3: Laughter boosts physical health

Two elderly friends laughing together outside

Most of us know the old cliche, “Laughter is the best medicine.” While this statement is an exaggeration, laughter does have some healing properties! Hospice is about improving a patient’s quality of life, and laughter can help. Laughter increases oxygen intake, which provides a boost for your internal organs, and it can alleviate pain by releasing positive endorphins. Plus, laughter helps boost your immune system, improve your blood flow, and burn calories – all of which can improve your health.

Benefit #4: Laughter connects you to others

group of elderly friends laughing in a circle

Have you ever seen or read something so funny that you had to share it with someone else? Humor has a way of bringing people together and creating connections. Laughing with others helps you let down your walls and be less defensive, encouraging you to be more vulnerable. Laughter can also decrease loneliness, which can be a big problem for some people in hospice care.

Laughing with others can also help decrease relationship tension and stress. During stressful situations, like coping with a terminal diagnosis, tensions can run high, creating conflict. Humor and laughter (at appropriate times) can alleviate tension in these difficult situations. Learning to make light of the awkward moments that may come with end-of-life care can help the patient, family, and hospice workers feel more comfortable with each other.

How can you create a more positive atmosphere?

Grandparents laughing with young granddaughter

After you or a loved one receives a terminal diagnosis, it may be hard to find ways to laugh. Here are a few different ways to incorporate more humor into your daily life.

  • Find humor in situations. Little funny things happen around us all the time, and finding humor in those moments is great! Just make sure that you’re laughing with someone, not at them.
  • Watch a funny TV show, movie, or video. Everyone has a different type of humor that makes them laugh. You can watch a favorite movie that you’ve always found funny or try something new!
  • Talk with kids. Kids can say the silliest things sometimes. If you have kids, grandkids, or know anyone with kids, take time to talk to them, play with them, and ask them questions.
  • Have a game night. Playing games with friends and family can often lead to shenanigans. Just stay away from Uno Draw Fours and Monopoly’s Boardwalk!
  • Share a cheesy joke. The best part of telling someone a cheesy joke or terrible pun is making yourself laugh! Even if no one else finds the joke funny, their groans are sure to make you laugh.

As you look to laugh more, remember that timing matters! Not everyone will feel like laughing during this time, and it’s important to be sensitive to the emotions of those around you – whether you’re the patient or your loved one is. Above all, focus on using laughter to create a positive atmosphere and mindset to make this difficult time a little easier for everyone.

Jul 18
Love0
Folded American flag and white flowers on top of a veterans coffin

Veterans’ Burial Benefits Checklist

By Planning Tools, Veterans No Comments

Did you know that the government provides burial benefits for eligible veterans?

Every year, many veterans miss out on receiving these burial benefits because they don’t know what’s available to them. But with a little advance planning, you can ensure that you and your family receive the burial benefits you are entitled to. To learn what burial benefits you’re eligible for, you can contact your local VA office.

Not sure where to start? Here is a checklist to assist you in planning ahead as a veteran:

To download a PDF version of this checklist, click here.

Locate a copy of your DD Form 214

The veteran’s DD Form 214 or equivalent is required to access burial benefits. This form identifies the classification of discharge. If a veteran has anything less than a general discharge, he or she may not qualify for burial benefits.

To make applying for burial benefits easier, make sure your next of kin knows where you keep your DD Form 214. If the DD Form 214 is misplaced or lost, contact Veteran Affairs or your local Veteran Service Officer to request a replacement form.

Record your wishes about military honors

Man handing a folded American flag to a loved one at a funeral

Normally, your funeral director will contact the honor guard of the veteran’s military branch if military honors are requested. In addition, one burial flag will be presented to the next of kin. Make a note of to whom the flag should be presented and which military honors you wish to receive.

Understand your benefits

While the VA will not pay for cremation or funeral costs in full, they may pay the next of kin a burial allowance. Your eligibility depends on your circumstances and whether you qualify. To make sure funeral costs are covered, you should make arrangements with a funeral home.

What’s covered at a national cemetery

A veteran buried in a national cemetery is eligible to receive, at no cost to the family, an opening and closing of the grave, perpetual care, government-furnished headstone or marker, one burial flag, a Presidential Memorial Certificate, and a grave liner.

Also, burial benefits are available for spouses and dependents buried in a national cemetery. These benefits include burial with the veteran, perpetual care, and the spouse or dependent’s name and date of birth and death inscribed on the veteran’s headstone, at no cost to the family. Eligible spouses and dependents may be buried, even if they predecease the veteran.

If you are requesting burial in a national cemetery, contact the National Cemetery Administration to make burial arrangements. The funeral director or person making arrangements will send all discharge documentation to the National Cemetery Scheduling Office. For more information, visit the National Cemetery Administration website. Burials at Arlington National Cemetery are reserved for military retirees, Medal of Honor recipients, or service members who die on active duty.

What’s covered at a state cemetery

Burial benefits may also be available at your local state cemetery, including opening and closing of the grave, perpetual care, grave liner, and the setting of the government-furnished headstone or marker. In addition, an eligible veteran buried in a state cemetery is still entitled to receive a government headstone or marker, one burial flag, and a Presidential Memorial Certificate, at no cost to the family.

red roses on top of an American flag

Check with your funeral director for more information about burial benefits that may be available for eligible dependents. Additionally, your funeral director can inform you about any fees associated with burial.

What’s covered at a private cemetery

Veterans buried in a private cemetery may be eligible to receive a government-furnished headstone, a marker or medallion, one burial flag, and a Presidential Memorial Certificate, at no cost to the family. Spouses and dependents buried in a private cemetery are not eligible for any VA benefits. To determine eligibility, contact your local Veteran Service Officer.

Remember that certain conditions affect burial allowance eligibility

Folded American flag and white flowers on top of a veterans coffin

For eligible veterans, the VA provides burial allowances to help offset an eligible veteran’s burial or cremation and funeral costs. However, these burial allowances typically do not cover the full cost. To receive a burial allowance, you must meet at least one of the following conditions:

  • The veteran dies due to a service-connected disability.
  • The veteran is receiving a VA pension.
  • The veteran was entitled to receive a VA pension or compensation but decided not to reduce his/her military retirement or disability pay.
  • The veteran dies while in a VA or contracted VA hospital or under VA care.
  • The veteran dies while traveling under proper authorization and at VA expense to and from a specified place for treatment or examination.
  • The veteran had an original or reopened claim pending at the time of death, and it has been determined he/she is eligible for compensation or pension from a date before their death.
  • The veteran died on or after October 9, 1996, while a patient at a VA-approved state nursing home.

Contact your VA office to determine if you are eligible for a burial allowance.

Still have questions? Check out our Veterans’ Burial Benefits FAQ for more information.

Jul 18
Love0
man holding a black and white cat

Can Animals Help You Grieve?

By Grief/Loss, Pets

Grieving the loss of a loved one looks different for everyone. Each person has their own unique needs and ways of coping with a loss. But did you know that interacting with animals can actually help you grieve? Whether you feel overwhelmed by stress, struggle to keep a routine going, or have a child who won’t talk about their feelings, animals can help you and your family as you move along your grief journey. Here are 5 ways that animals can provide support and care to those who are grieving.

Boost Mental Health

man holding a black and white cat

Did you know that just being around animals can improve your mental health? For most people, just being in the presence of an animal can help boost positive hormones like dopamine and decrease stress-related hormones. Interacting with animals can also reduce anxiety and help those with depression.

Even more importantly, animals provide companionship – an important need after losing a loved one. Many people struggle with loneliness after someone they love dies, but a pet can combat loneliness through their presence.

Provide Physical Benefits

woman walking her dog in a park

Animals can also provide physical benefits to those who are grieving. Pets, especially dogs, need exercise, which helps their owners stay active. Exercising is known to help with depression and sadness, which are common during times of grief.

Plus, having a pet can encourage you to take care of yourself. No matter what type of pet you have, your animal friend relies on you to feed and care for them, which can motivate you to get moving when you don’t feel like it. Even more importantly, having a pet can encourage you to take better care of yourself – whether that’s through exercise, diet, or choosing to do things you love.

Create Routines

man with iguana on his shoulder

After losing someone you love, you may feel like your world has been turned upside down. That feeling can make everyday life a struggle, but sticking to a routine can give you a sense of normalcy when everything else feels chaotic.

Animals need to be fed and cared for on a regular basis, which can help you create a structured routine. The motivation to care for a pet that’s relying on you can encourage you to keep moving and stick to your daily routine. Whether you’re feeding your pet iguana, playing with your pet rabbit, or taking your dog for a walk, a routine can help you find your new normal at a time when your world might feel hectic and stressful.

Give Social Support

guinea pig standing in grass

Social support is important after the death of someone you love. But did you know that animals can provide social support, too? Animals are great to talk to, and most pet owners have built relationships with their pets. This relationship can reduce loneliness, especially for those struggling with grief.

In fact, one study about social support found that people who had pets or interacted with animals were more likely to feel supported in their grief. Because most animals are very loving and enjoy attention, they provide an unconditional, endless source of companionship for grieving people.

Help Children Process Grief

young girl hugging a cat

Coping with grief can be a struggle for children. Their brains are still developing and learning to navigate the world and their emotions. The death of someone they love can bring on emotions they are unprepared to handle. While they struggle to understand their feelings, they must also learn how to process their grief and the sudden absence of someone they knew well.

Spending time with an animal can comfort a child. But many children also love talking to animals, which can help them learn how to talk about their emotions. Many children may not feel comfortable sharing their feelings with an adult, or they may not know how to describe their emotions. Talking to an animal provides a low-pressure way for children to explore their feelings and begin to process their grief.

Different Kinds of Support Animals

Animals can support people who are grieving in different ways, depending on their level of training! Here are the different ways animals can help.

As a pet

An animal doesn’t need to be certified or specially trained to help with grief! Any pet can provide emotional support to its owner. Even pet fish can help your mental health!

As a therapy animal

brown dog with therapy dog vest

Therapy animals are typically pets that help support large groups of people. For example, dogs or other animals that visit hospital patients are therapy animals. So are grief therapy dogs that some funeral homes have. Therapy animals don’t always need to be trained or certified, but they must be well-behaved and may need to undergo obedience training.

As an emotional support animal

Just like therapy animals, emotional support animals (ESAs) don’t need to be trained or certified. But instead of helping a group of people, ESAs help a particular person with a mental or psychological disability. To obtain an ESA, a person must receive a prescription letter from a licensed mental health professional who determines that an animal would benefit them. ESAs are not service animals since they only provide mental health support and aren’t trained to perform a particular task.

As a certified service animal

A service animal is trained to perform a specific task for someone with a specific disability. For example, a seeing-eye dog is trained to guide someone who is blind or visually impaired, so it would be a service animal. Service animals must be specially trained and certified to assist someone with a disability.

While everyone has different needs, interacting with animals can greatly benefit you while you’re grieving. Whether you spend time with your own pet, interact with a therapy animal, or apply for an emotional support or service animal, consider spending time with an animal as you continue your grief journey.

May 25
Love0
1950s jukebox

11 Songs from the 1950s for a Celebration of Life

By Meaningful Funerals, Music

1950s jukebox

Did you know that you can use your loved one’s favorite music to personalize their funeral? Music plays an important role in a funeral by helping mourners express emotions they may not be able to put into words. Personalized songs and music that was special to your loved one can help create a healing and meaningful funeral for your family and friends. Many people have a deep connection with the music they grew up with, which makes songs from their childhood a great choice for their memorial service. If your loved one grew up in the 1950s or just enjoyed the swinging, melodic sounds of the decade, here are a few songs that you could play at their funeral or celebration of life.

Beyond the Sea (Bobby Darin, 1959)

Somewhere beyond the sea
Somewhere waiting for me
My lover stands on golden sands
And watches the ships that go sailin’

While “Beyond the Sea” was first written in the 1940s, the song was popularized by Bobby Darin in 1959. This classic song beautifully captures the longing for a loved one and the hope for a meeting in the future. Plus, if your loved one was part of the Navy or loved sailing and the ocean, including this song at their celebration of life would be a wonderful personal touch.

They Can’t Take That Away from Me (Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong, 1956)

The way you wear your hat
The way you sip your tea
The memory of all that
No, no, they can’t take that away from me

Originally written in 1937, “They Can’t Take That Away from Me” is even more beautiful when sung by Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong in this 1956 version of the song. When we lose a loved one, our relationship with them changes to one of memory. This song perfectly highlights how our loved ones live on in our memories and encourages us to cherish the small moments we shared with our loved ones.

Always (Ella Fitzgerald, 1958)

I’ll be loving you always
With a love that’s true alwaysWhen the things you’ve plannedNeed a helping handI will understand always

“Always” was originally written in 1926, but Ella Fitzgerald’s 1958 version of the song showcases both her voice and the lyrics beautifully. A song about commitment, loyalty, and neverending love, “Always” would make a wonderful addition to a funeral or celebration of life for a spouse or significant other.

Autumn Leaves (Edith Piaf, 1951)

Since you went away the days grow long
And soon I’ll hear old winter’s song
But I miss you most of all my darling
When autumn leaves start to fall

An elegant song full of passion, “Autumn Leaves (Les Feuilles Mortes)” was recorded by Edith Piaf in 1951. With lyrics in English and French, this song speaks of missing and longing for someone you are separated from. “Autumn Leaves” would make a lovely funeral song for a significant other.

Love Me Tender (Elvis Presley, 1956)

Love me tender
Love me true
All my dreams fulfilled
For my darlin’ I love you
And I always will

Elvis Presley is one of the most well-known singers of all time, and “Love Me Tender” is one of his most iconic songs. The passionate lyrics speak of unending love and gratitude for the impact a loved one made on your life. This song could work well either as part of a service or as background music for a slideshow of photos of your loved one.

Thinking of You (Fats Domino, 1953)

Yes, I want you to know
That I need you so
You’re on my mind
Everywhere I go

Recorded by Fats Domino in 1953, “Thinking of You” speaks about the memories that linger when we lose someone we love. When a loved one dies, anything can remind us of them. This song showcases the way we see our lost loved ones all around us, making it a great choice for a funeral or memorial service.

Unforgettable (Nat King Cole, 1952)

Unforgettable
That’s what you are
Unforgettable
Though near or far

A slow, thoughtful song, “Unforgettable” was recorded by Nat King Cole in 1952. The people we love make an impact on our lives that we cannot forget, and these beautiful lyrics highlight how our loved ones leave their mark on our lives. The perfect song to honor any loved one, “Unforgettable” would be an excellent choice for a memorial service or celebration of life.

Raining in My Heart (Buddy Holly, 1959)

I tell my blues they mustn’t show
But soon these tears are bound to flow
‘Cause it’s raining, raining in my heart

Released just after Buddy Holly’s death in 1959, “Raining in My Heart” was originally recorded in October 1958. While the music is more cheerful than some songs on this list, the lyrics speak about the deep sadness we feel when we lose a loved one. A sweet reminder that it’s okay to be sad, “Raining in My Heart” could make a unique addition to a funeral or celebration of life.

Because of You (Tony Bennett, 1951)

Because of you
My life is now worthwhile
And I can smile
Because of you

Originally written in 1940, “Because of You” became Tony Bennett’s first big hit in 1951. The peaceful lyrics highlight the joy, love, and happiness that our loved ones bring to our lives, making this song perfect for honoring someone who positively impacted your life. “Because of You” would work especially well in a celebration of life or a slideshow.

Just a Closer Walk With Thee (Patsy Cline, 1959)

When my feeble life is o’er
Time for me will be no more
Guide me gently, safely o’er
To Thy kingdom’s shore

While the origins of the original hymn are unclear, Patsy Cline’s version of “Just a Closer Walk With Thee” was released in 1959. This traditional song speaks about growing stronger in faith and closer to Jesus daily. For a loved one who was devoted to their faith, “Just a Closer Walk With Thee” could pay homage to their strong faith and dedication to God.

Peace in the Valley (Red Foley, 1951)

There’ll be no sadness
No sorrow
No trouble, I’ll see
There will be peace in the valley for me

Another traditional Christian song, “Peace in the Valley” was originally written in 1939 under the full title “There’ll Be Peace in the Valley for Me.” While the song has been sung by many singers, including Elvis Presley, this version was recorded by Red Foley in 1951. A song about hope, Heaven, and peace after death, “Peace in the Valley” would be an excellent song to include in a religious funeral or celebration of life.

Songs from other decades

Other musical options for a meaningful funeral

May 11
Love0

10 Songs from the 1940s for a Celebration of Life

By Meaningful Funerals, Music

Music plays a vital role in a funeral service or celebration of life. Songs played at a funeral can set the tone for the service, open us up to feelings we’ve been avoiding, and express emotions we can’t put into words. For this reason, renowned grief expert Dr. Alan Wolfelt says that music is one of the most important elements of a funeral.

When choosing music to play at the service, it’s important to pick songs that will be meaningful to your family and friends. Of course, if you know your loved one’s favorite songs, you can incorporate those into the funeral. But if your loved one grew up in the 1940s – or just loved the beautiful sounds of 1940s music – here are ten songs you could use to honor their memory.

I’ll Be Seeing You (Billie Holiday, 1944)

I’ll be seeing you
In all the old familiar places
That this heart of mine embraces
All day through

A classic song about missing someone you love, this version of “I’ll Be Seeing You” was recorded by Billie Holiday in 1944. Both the lyrics of this 1940s song and Billie’s beautiful voice capture the feeling of seeing your lost loved one all around you. Whether you use this song in your loved one’s celebration of life or not, listening to it can provide comfort by reminding you that your loved one lives on in your memory.

Fun fact: “I’ll Be Seeing You” was played for the Opportunity rover on Mars after it finished its final mission!

We’ll Meet Again (Vera Lynn, 1939)

We’ll meet again
Don’t know where
Don’t know when
But I know we’ll meet again some sunny day

While “We’ll Meet Again” was originally released in 1939, it became enormously popular in the 1940s, especially during World War II. At a time when many families lost their fathers, brothers, husbands, or sons to the war, they found comfort and hope in this beautiful song. As you and your family mourn the loss of your loved one, playing this song during the funeral or celebration of life can bring your family and friends hope for the future.

Only Forever (Bing Crosby, 1940)

Do you think I’ll remember
How you looked when you smile?
Only forever
That’s puttin’ it mild

Recorded by Bing Crosby in 1940, “Only Forever” spent 20 weeks on the Billboard charts and 9 weeks in the #1 spot. This popular song speaks of love, loyalty, and remembering a loved one forever, which makes it a wonderful choice for honoring your significant other, a parent, or a close friend. This song would also make a great background song for a slideshow of photos honoring your loved one.

Moonlight Serenade (Glenn Miller, 1939)

Released in 1939, “Moonlight Serenade” was one of the most popular songs of the 1940s. While Glenn Miller’s original tune has no words, the music is smooth, peaceful, and full of emotion. This classic swing tune evokes pleasant memories of days gone by and hope for the future, making it perfect for a funeral or memorial service.

A Sentimental Journey (Doris Day, 1944)

Gonna set my heart at eas
Gonna make a sentimental journey
To renew old memories

Performed by Les Brown and His Band of Renown, “A Sentimental Journey” was sung by Doris Day and released in 1944. Whether you’re looking for a song to play at a celebration of life or just to listen to while thinking of your loved one, this lovely tune encourages reminiscing and cherishing the memories of days gone by. It would also be a wonderful song to use for a slideshow at a memorial service.

When the Saints Go Marching In (Louis Armstrong, 1938)

Now when the saints go marching in
Yes, I want to be in that number
When the saints go marching in

While the exact origins of “When the Saints Go Marching In” are unclear, the gospel song likely developed from a combination of similar songs. There are many versions of the song, but in 1938, Louis Armstrong transformed the song into the jazzy version modern listeners are most familiar with. While this song is more upbeat, it can be a lovely, personal addition to a funeral or memorial service for someone who was passionate about their faith.

Over the Rainbow (Judy Garland, 1939)

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true

“Over the Rainbow” is an instantly recognizable tune for any fan of The Wizard of Oz. Judy Garland captured audiences’ imaginations as Dorothy Gale in 1939, and her signature song took on a life of its own – in the 1940s and beyond. Filled with dreams and hope for the future, “Over the Rainbow” would be a lovely song to play at a celebration of life, especially for someone who loved The Wizard of Oz.

Till the End of Time (Perry Como, 1945)

Till the end of time
Long as stars are in the blue
Long as there’s a spring, a bird to sing
I’ll go on loving you

While several artists recorded their own versions of “Till the End of Time,” Perry Como’s version of the song was the most popular by far, staying at #1 on the Billboard charts for ten consecutive weeks. With lyrics about everlasting and unconditional love, this song would make a touching addition to a funeral or celebration of life for a lost spouse or significant other.

Ave Maria (Frank Sinatra, 1944)

“Ave Maria” was originally composed by Franz Schubert as “Ellens dritter Gesang” (“Ellen’s Third Song”) in 1825. Soon after it was released, the song became popular in the Catholic church and gained religious significance. Frank Sinatra’s version of the song was recorded in 1944, and his beautiful voice pairs wonderfully with the song. If your loved one was religious, you could incorporate this lovely song in the funeral or memorial service.

Lavender Coffin (Lionel Hampton, 1949)

Saint Peter
I’m a-comin’
Saint Peter
Yes, I’m a-comin’ today

One of the more upbeat songs on this list, “Lavender Coffin” was recorded by Lionel Hampton and His Orchestra in 1949. This swing song provides a different perspective on death and a hopeful outlook on life, Heaven, and the future. While this song is more cheerful in tone than some of the other songs, it could be a passionate addition to a celebration of life or a homegoing.

Songs from other decades

Other musical options for a meaningful funeral

May 03
Love0
mother comforting her teen daughter

How to Help a Teenager Navigate Suicide Loss

By Grief/Loss, Loss from Suicide

Losing a loved one is hard, and losing someone to suicide can be even more challenging. Suicide is often stigmatized by society, and mourners must wrestle with questions they’ll likely never know the answer to. These questions can be especially difficult for teenagers, who are already in the process of defining their own identities and understanding of the world.

Unfortunately, suicide is becoming more and more common. In 2021, almost 50,000 people died from suicide, and 1.7 million adults attempted suicide. Teenagers are especially susceptible to suicide – about 1 out of every 10 high school students has attempted suicide and around 20% of high school students have contemplated suicide. The problem continues to grow, which is why it’s so important to support your teen when they lose someone – whether a family member, a friend, or a classmate – to suicide.

Losing someone they love to suicide can shake a teenager’s beliefs and leave them confused and torn. They may act out, withdraw from you or their friends, or become depressed. Going to the funeral of the person who died can be a great place to start, but your teen needs care and support throughout the days, months, and even years to come. You may not know how to help them, especially if you are also grieving, so here are five tips for how you can support your teenager during this difficult time.

Create a safe space

mother comforting her teen daughter

The suicide of a loved one can cause mourners to feel many different emotions – sadness, guilt, anger, fear, or even relief if the person was suffering. Both you and your teenager need to know that there is no right way to feel when grieving the loss of a loved one to suicide. Let your teenager know they can talk to you about their emotions without fear of judgment.

A great way to help your teenager feel comfortable exploring their grief with you is by asking them how you can support them. Don’t assume that your teenager needs the same things you do. Your teenager may already know how you can support them while they’re grieving but may not know how to ask for it. Maybe they want to sit and talk, read and discuss a book about grief, or go out and enjoy an activity with you to take their mind off their grief. By asking them how you can help them – and then following through – you can open doors of communication and create a safe space for them to ask questions, explore their grief, and cope in a healthy way.

As you talk with your teenager, don’t avoid the topic of suicide. Suicide carries a lot of stigma, and talking about suicide openly and gently will help your teenager feel safe enough to ask you the questions that are likely already on their mind. However, do avoid talking about graphic details of the suicide or placing blame on anyone for the suicide; instead, focus on positive conversations with your teenager about how you can support each other now.

Listen

mother listening to her daughter

When your teenager does open up to you, stop and listen. Your first instinct may be to offer suggestions, fix problems, or offer encouragement, but you must first take time to listen and understand your teenager. Listen without judgment, asking questions when appropriate. Your teenager may struggle with feelings you disagree with – like blaming themselves for their loved one’s death or questioning their beliefs – but they don’t need a lecture. Instead, they need you to listen, understand, and empathize with them.

Some teenagers may withdraw or avoid the topic of death, grief, or suicide completely. You can listen to them by respecting their wishes while leaving the door for conversation open. You could ask them questions gently, check in with them, and be available when they’re ready to open up. Many teenagers want to grieve with their friends, especially if the person who died was one of their peers. You may feel left out, but as long as your teenager gets support from somewhere, respecting their choice is a good idea.

Keep your routine – but be flexible

calendar and routine

The suicide of a loved one can shake mourners to their core. Even if your teenager didn’t know the person who died by suicide very well, their world might feel like it’s crumbling around them. Sticking to their usual routine can help them find a sense of normalcy during a time of upheaval. In addition, it may be easier for teens to practice self-care when sticking to their usual routine.

But even as you try to keep your routine going, allow for flexibility. Some days, your teenager may not feel up to going to basketball practice or choir rehearsal. They may need to take a mental health day off from school or extracurricular activities. Alternatively, your teenager may want to completely change their routine – and that’s okay, too. Listen to their needs and help them develop a routine that will fit their needs as they begin their grief journey.

Include them

parents comforting teenage son

Teenagers are still exploring what grieving a loss looks like, and by including them in your own grieving process, you can show them what healthy grieving looks like. You may be tempted to bottle up your emotions and stay strong for them, but don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. Your teenager will likely appreciate your openness about your emotions and feel safer expressing their own.

You can also involve your teenager by letting them come up with ideas for honoring the memory of the person who died. For example, if your teen likes to paint, draw, or write, they may want to make something special to be displayed or read at the funeral. If your teen was on a team or in a club with the person who died, they could host a special meeting for everyone to share stories and grieve together. If your teenager is interested, allow them to come up with an idea to remember the person who died and help them make it a reality.

Seek outside support

counselor helping a teenage boy

Grief, especially from suicide loss, can be difficult for teens to navigate on their own. Plus, the suicide of a fellow teenager can lead to copycat suicides. While these aren’t extremely common, suicides of close friends, deaths of people the teen identifies with, or suicides that get a lot of media attention can lead to clusters of similar suicides. If you notice that your teen is struggling with depression, suicidal thoughts, or other risk factors, you may want to consider helping your teen sign up for professional support. Even if your teenager doesn’t seem to be at risk and just needs extra support, you can talk to them about the possibility of meeting with a grief support therapist.

You can also explore grief support groups in your area. Grief support groups can help your teen feel less alone since they will hear about others’ experiences. However, if your teen begins attending a grief support group, check with them about their experience. Grief support groups are all different, and instead of being comforted, your teenager may feel overwhelmed by hearing everyone’s stories.

During this difficult time, it’s important for your teen to know you are there to support them. As you grieve together, help them feel safe and comfortable asking questions. Their grief and reaction to the suicide may look different than yours, and that’s okay. Accept their feelings without judgment and let them know you’re there to walk alongside them and support them, no matter what.

Apr 17
Love0
scrapbook on a table with scissors

How to Create a Funeral Wishes Box

By Plan Ahead

A personalized funeral can be a very healing and meaningful experience for loved ones. But how can you ensure that they have that one-of-a-kind experience? The answer is by doing a little bit of planning and preparation in advance. Personal touches such as photos, family heirlooms, mementos, readings, and music can all come together to help your family and friends celebrate the life you lived together and the legacy you leave behind.

One way you can help your loved ones is by collecting these items and ideas in one place, like a memory box. This box can be specifically designed to help your loved ones plan a healing and personal funeral experience! While you can put anything in your funeral wishes box that’s meaningful to you, here are a few ideas to help you get started.

Photos and Videostwo family photos on a shelf

Photos and videos can be used to personalize a funeral service in many ways, like in slideshows or on memory boards. But it can be hard for families to know which photos to use. Many people have hundreds of photos from their lifetime, especially now that smartphones are everywhere. Sorting through these photos to find ones to share at the funeral can be an overwhelming task for loved ones when they are grieving. Plus, your loved ones might not know which photos are most significant to you. By selecting the photos ahead of time, you take away the guesswork and make things simpler for your family.

If you have physical photos you want displayed, you can set those aside in your box. You can also add a note identifying other people in the photo by writing on the back of the photos or adding a sticky note to the back. You can do the same with any videos on VHS or DVD. For digital photos or videos, you can copy them on a USB drive to add to your funeral wishes box or put them in a specific folder on your computer. If you leave the photos on your computer, make sure to leave instructions for finding them and logging into your computer in your box, which is something you should do for all of your digital assets.

Scrapbooksscrapbook on a table with scissors

Scrapbooks can make a wonderful addition to a funeral. Not only are they beautiful and personal, but they also share memories that you hold dear. If you’ve made scrapbooks in the past, including those in your funeral wishes box can provide a way for your family to highlight special moments in your life. But even if you don’t have a scrapbook already made, you can create one! If you have small items or keepsakes you want to treasure, you don’t have to make a whole scrapbook – you can just make a page or two. You could also use scrapbook pages to leave notes about specific photos or share the story behind a specific item, like a ticket stub, a pressed flower, or event programs.

Meaningful Mementos

items from hobbies, violin, frame, paint brushes, mask, camera, feather pen

Another great way to personalize a service is by incorporating items that are meaningful to you. These could be family heirlooms, like your favorite piece of jewelry, your antique pocket watch, or a quilt your great-grandmother made. You could also set aside souvenirs from trips you took or events you attended.

Other mementos you might want to include are items from your hobbies. What do you love doing? Think about ways you can incorporate your passions and interests. For example, if you like to make things, you could pick out a scarf you made or a chair you built. If you play a sport, you could set aside an old jersey or uniform to be displayed. If you want an item displayed that you’re still using, you can include a note in your box that mentions where the item is typically stored.

Favorite Songs

stack of records on a wooden table

Music plays a significant role in a funeral, setting the mood and tone for the entire service. Music expresses feelings and words that we may not be able to say ourselves and gives us an outlet to release and experience our emotions. Contrary to popular belief, the music at a funeral service doesn’t have to be sad songs or hymns. A favorite song you love to listen to, sing along with, or dance to can still emotionally impact your loved ones.

If you own digital versions of the songs you want to include in your box, you may be able to burn them onto a CD or upload them to a USB drive. You could also create a playlist on your favorite music service and include instructions about finding the songs in your funeral wishes box. Another option is to create a printed or handwritten list of your chosen songs.

Passages for Readings

open book in a library next to stacks of books

Readings are also an important part of a funeral service. Readings can honor or celebrate your life, help both readers and listeners grieve, or move mourners into a time of contemplation. The passages read can be anything, like a Bible verse, a poem, an excerpt from a book, or a meaningful quote. Think about written passages that mean a lot to you, changed your life, or reflect the way you try to live. Once you’ve decided on a few quotes, you can write them down, make a note of where they came from and who you’d like to read them, and add them to your box.

What to Do With Your Box

After you create your box, what do you do with it? First, make sure your loved ones know about your box and where to find it. It wouldn’t do much good to put your box together if your family doesn’t know about it when they’re planning the funeral! If you want, you can also share the contents with your loved ones as you put the box together, and if you’ve preplanned with a funeral home, you could even let them know about your box.

Second, continue to add to and update your box. If you start a new hobby or go on a fun trip, you may want to include mementos from those. Maybe you take pictures with a grandchild at their graduation or with your child at their wedding. You can always add more items to your box or remove items that have lost meaning to you.

By putting together your funeral wishes box, you’ll provide an easier way for your family to personalize your funeral. With all of the items prepared, your loved ones can display your photos and scrapbooks, create a slideshow with your favorite photos, videos, and songs, read the passages you selected, and decorate the location with mementos from your hobbies and interests. These personal touches will make the service even more meaningful for your loved ones and help them begin their grief journey on the right foot.

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