christy.kessler, Author at Funeral Basics

Jun 05

Healthy Practices for Your Later Years: 70s

By christy.kessler Living Well, Plan Ahead

Your 70s are here. Let’s make them great! While good habits benefit us throughout our lives, it’s never too late to make positive changes to your life. In addition to continuing good habits from your 60s, there are different challenges for those who have reached their 70s. Let’s go over 10 helpful and healthy practices to maintain your health and organize your affairs in your golden years.

10 Best Practices for Healthy 70-Somethings

1. Strengthen your Body

While exercise may look quite different now, it’s still incredibly important for your overall health and energy levels. Rather than engaging in high-intensity cardio sessions (unless your body is used to it already), look for low-impact cardio activities (i.e. walking, yoga, swimming, indoor cycling, etc.). Also include strength training (good for your bones) and stretching in your normal routine.

2. Manage Stress

All throughout our lives, we deal with stress. The same is true as you grow older – it’s just the specifics that change. If you’re on a fixed income, you may wonder if it will be enough. Or, you may worry about getting sick or losing friends to illness. These types of concerns can lead to stress, depression, or anxiety.

To combat stress, depression, and anxiety, try out a few easy tips:

Take time each day to focus on something you are thankful for.
Acknowledge and express your feelings, both positive and negative.
Embrace and find comfort in your spirituality.
Accept that some things are outside your control, and that’s okay.
Try to keep your sense of humor.
Continue to build relationships with people – you need them!

3. Engage Your Mind

While some degree of forgetfulness is normal with age, significant decline is not an inevitable part of aging. If you challenge your brain, it will function well throughout your lifetime. The key is to exercise your brain. A few ideas to get you started are:

Try new variations of familiar activities (new types of puzzles, new recipes, a different sport)
Learn something entirely new (a language, an unfamiliar topic)
Seek new experiences and make new friends
Continue eating a healthy diet and maintaining your physical activity levels

4. Eat Well and Drink Plenty of Water

Healthy nutrition has a few added challenges as you age. For instance, your sense of taste and smell can change a bit, which affects the appetite. Slower digestion and metabolism changes how your body processes food, and you begin to lose your sense of thirst, which can lead to dehydration. To combat these challenges, be intentional about your food and water intake.

Eat plenty of protein, calcium, and fiber, and drink lots of water. On average, people in their 70s drink less than four cups of water a day, and we actually need seven or eight! Try not to skip meals – you need all the healthy foods you can get to maintain your health and energy levels. If you’re having trouble maintaining a healthy diet, talk to a family member or your health care provider.

5. Rest Well and Deeply

You may think that you need less sleep now that you’re a little less active, but that’s not the case. Adults in their 70s still need 7-9 hours of sleep each night. Of course, as an older adult, there are added complications to sleep, like insomnia, daytime sleepiness, health conditions, or aches and pains that keep you awake at night.

To achieve ample rest, it’s good to set good sleep habits in place. Make sure that your room is dark, quiet, and not too warm. Turn off the TV at least one hour before bed so that your mind has time to unwind and isn’t exposed to too much stimulation so close to bedtime. And especially if you suffer from insomnia, try to exercise during the day and avoid naps. This will help you feel tired when bedtime comes around. If you are still having trouble sleeping, speak to your health care provider.

6. Be Aware of Elder Crime

Unfortunately, older adults are at risk for certain types of crime, particularly fraud (identity theft, fake checks, and various kinds of scams) and elder abuse. Most often, fraud is perpetrated by someone you don’t know, but elder abuse is a different story. Elder abuse can be physical or emotional/psychological and often involves neglect, abandonment, or financial exploitation.

To guard against elder abuse, keep the people you trust close. Also, be on the lookout for these signs of an abusive caregiver: lack of affection, don’t allow you to be alone with others, are angry or aggressive toward you, don’t clean the home or help you with personal hygiene, speak about you as if you were a burden, or give conflicting stories to explain an incident. If any of these describe someone close to you, talk to someone you trust who can help you.

7. Prevent Falls

Now is a time to be especially aware of your bone health. Osteoporosis is a significant concern for those who are aging because it can cause bones to break more easily. By adding low-impact cardio, strength training, and calcium and vitamin D to your routine, you can increase your bone mass and decrease the likelihood of broken bones.

In addition to exercise, assess the potential risks in your home and identify any potential tripping hazards (throw rugs, cords, clutter, etc.). Consider removing these hazards completely. Also, if you are having trouble now, use a cane/walker when needed and wear supportive shoes. Above all, take your time. There’s no rush.

8. Pursue Good Eye, Ear, and Heart Health

As much as we wish it wasn’t true, the older we are, the more possible it is to develop health problems. It’s especially important to take special care of your eyes, ears, and heart.

Eyes

While our eyes can change at any age, women in their 70s more commonly deal with dry eye. To help with dry eye, drink plenty of fluids and limit your time in front of a computer or tv. In general, go to regular eye exams and consider screenings for glaucoma, cataracts, and macular degeneration.

Ears

It’s commonly known that hearing loss can come with age. If you’re having a hard time hearing on the phone or in person, consider bringing it up to your health care professional. They can help you understand the best way to move forward.

Heart

For many older adults, heart disease is a concern. The good news is that heart disease isn’t inevitable – you can take steps now to protect your heart. Make sure to ask your health care professional about your heart’s current health, and then, eat nutritiously, sleep well, and get plenty of exercise (even brisk walking will help your heart). If you already have heart disease, take your medications, eat well, and exercise. These activities can still help your heart in the long run.

9. Plan Ahead

One of the best things you can do for your family is to get your affairs in order. The clearer and more organized everything is, the easier the process will be when you are gone. While we don’t like to think about our mortality, it’s best to take care of these important aspects of planning while you’re still in good health and able to make sound decisions.

The most important estate planning concerns to address are: a legal will, financial or medical power of attorney, a living will, advance care directives, and funeral planning. Feel free to bring your family members into any part of the process and get their valuable input. And once your plans are in place, designate at least two emergency contacts and make sure they have access to your information.

10. Find Joy in Each Day

As you grow older, it’s important to maintain your sense of purpose and to find joy in each day. Having a positive attitude will help you face each day with excitement and anticipation. Find things to be grateful for. Face any limitations you may have and keep a good sense of humor. Stay connected to others to increase healthy longevity. Pick up a new hobby, find ways to volunteer, spend time outdoors, join a club, or visit places you’ve always wanted to go. Continue to find ways to enjoy life and the people you love.

Jun 04

Love0

Give Yourself Permission to Grieve

By christy.kessler AfterCare, Grief/Loss

You give yourself permission to grieve by recognizing the need for grieving. Grieving is the natural way of working through the loss of a love. [It] is not weakness nor absence of faith. Grieving is as natural as crying when you are hurt, sleeping when you are tired or sneezing when your nose itches. It is nature’s way of healing a broken heart. – Doug Manning

Today, it can be difficult to grieve well. Those who grieve often feel like they have to “be strong” for others, whether it be our family members, co-workers, or even strangers. We live in a world that encourages us to hide our pain and appear like we’ve “got it all together.” Many of us even shy away from our own pain, fearing that if we let our feelings have free rein, we will be seen as “out of control.” Our minds rebel against the idea of anyone seeing our pain, how deeply affected we are, how not okay we feel inside. But expressing our grief is the first step on the road to healing. In fact, unexpressed grief can lead to complications such as a prolonged state of intense sadness, anxiety, loss of appetite or overeating, difficulty concentrating or performing at work, and host of symptoms associated with depression triggered by grief.

Grief Is a Natural Response

The truth is, grief is the natural result of love. When we love deeply and wholly, we open ourselves up to the grief that will come when we lose the one we love so much. And while death is a part of life, the certainty of death doesn’t make it any easier to process the loss of a loved one. Did you know that the word “bereaved” literally means “to be torn apart”? So, by that definition, when we are grieving, we are being torn apart inside. It’s no wonder that we can become so tired, withdrawn, and quiet during times of loss. During times like this, it is important to remember to be patient and kind to ourselves and allow ourselves to go through the grief process.

Nationally respected author, counselor, and grief educator, Dr. Alan Wolfelt, puts it this way: “Over many years of walking with people in grief, I have discovered that most of us are hard on ourselves when we are in mourning. We judge ourselves and we shame ourselves and we take care of ourselves last.” The simple truth that we must all come to realize is that it’s okay to hurt. It’s okay to NOT “be strong” in the face of loss. It’s okay to give yourself permission to grieve, to give outward expression to the internal anguish of your soul. We need to be free to express our emotions, not hide from them or feel ashamed of them. They are what they are, and they are a natural response to what we’ve lost.

Grief Is a Journey

By giving ourselves permission to grieve, we begin a journey. It’s a journey that requires much from us, but one that is worth taking. Through the journey, you may feel many things: pain, loneliness, restlessness, vulnerability, fright, peacefulness, comfort, and love. You are on a journey; a journey that will take you to reconciliation. As Dr. Wolfelt tells us, “Never forget that the death of someone loved changes your life forever. It’s not that you won’t be happy again. It’s simply that you will never be exactly the same as you were before the death.” Life will not be the same as it was before, but you will find your “new normal” and begin to move forward.

Other people may not understand the depth of what you are feeling, and they don’t have to. You don’t need permission from other people to grieve. No matter how you express your grief – silence, weeping, screaming, quietness, thoughtfulness – it’s never going to fit into any particular mold. In fact, there is no “grief” mold. Every single person grieves the loss of a loved one differently, and that’s as it should be. Your journey through grief will be different than everyone else’s, and that’s okay.

Grief Is a Process

As you begin your personal grief journey, remember these tips from Dr. Wolfelt:

Realize that your grief is unique.

No one else is exactly like you, and the relationship you enjoyed with your loved one was one-of-a-kind.
Take time to talk about your grief.

Sometimes it’s helpful to talk with a safe person about the emotions swirling around inside you. If you aren’t much of a talker or aren’t ready to be vulnerable with someone, write your thoughts down in a journal. Find a way to express what’s on the inside.
Anticipate feeling a range of emotions.
People experience a wide spectrum of feelings at the loss of a loved one: shock, numbness, denial, confusion, yearning, anxiety, fear, guilt, sadness, relief, and more. You will certainly feel some of these. It’s normal and natural to do so.
Be mindful of your physical and emotional limits.

You will be more tired, more emotionally sensitive. Learn what is too much for you right now and take things easy.
Find people to support you. You don’t need to walk this journey alone. If you don’t know anyone that you feel would be an appropriate support for you, find an organized grief support group.
Make use of ritual. There is a certain healing to be found in rituals. They encourage us to remember, they comfort us, and they offer us peace. For example, if you and your lost loved one watched a certain movie every Christmas, keep the ritual (tradition) alive as a way to remember them and feel close to them during the holiday season.
Treasure your memories.

Write them down. Tell the stories to others. Share the essence of the one you loved with those around you and keep their legacy alive. Your memories are your own to cherish forever and will be a continual reserve of peace and comfort.

Grief Is Not a Problem to Be Solved

Finally, grief is not an issue to be solved or resolved. It’s a process we must tend to and live through in whatever form it may take for whatever length of time it may require. For many of us, the tendency is to ignore our pain. But trying to ignore it won’t make it go away. In fact, stuffing our grief away can have serious consequences on our mental and physical health. Rather than avoid what you’re feeling, give yourself permission to grieve. It just might be the best gift you can give yourself during a time of loss.

For more grief resources (books and websites), see the list below:

counselingforloss.com
webhealing.com
griefrecoverymethod.com
heartlight.org
whatsyourgrief.com
funeralbasics.org
Canfield, Jack and Mark Victor Hansen. Chicken Soup for the Grieving Soul. Deerfield Beach, FL: HCI, 2003.
Canfield, Jack, Mark Victor Hansen, and Amy Newmark. Chicken Soup for the Soul: Grieving and Recovery. Cos Cob, CT: Chicken Soup for the Soul, 2011.
Cross, Darlene F. A New Normal: Learning to Live with Grief and Loss. Las Vegas: Darlene F. Cross, 2010.
Curry, Cathleen. When Your Spouse Dies. Notre Dame, IN: Ave Maria Press, 1990.
Deits, Bob. Life After Loss. Tucson, AZ: Fisher Books, 1988.
Emswiler, James P. and Mary Ann Emswiler. Guiding Your Child Through Grief. New York: Bantam, 2000.
Fumia, Molly. Safe Passage: Words to Help the Grieving. York Beach, ME: Conari Press, 2003.
Grollman, Earl A. Living When A Loved One Has Died: Revised Edition. Boston: Beacon Press, 1997.
Kubler-Ross, Elisabeth. On Grief and Grieving. New York: Scribner, 2005.
Noel, Brook and Pamela D. Blair. I Wasn’t Ready to Say Goodbye. Milwaukee, WI: Champion Press, 2000.
Peterson, Randy. When You Lose Someone You Love. Lincolnwood, IL: Publications International, 2007.
Rando, Therese A. How To Go On Living When Someone You Love Has Died. New York: Bantam Books, 1991.
Schiff, Harriet S. Living Through Mourning. New York: Viking, 1988.
Wolfelt, Alan D. Understanding Your Grief. Ft. Collins, CO: Companion Press, 2004.

May 30

Love1

6 Ways to Personalize a Funeral

By christy.kessler Explore Options, Meaningful Funerals, Personalization

A funeral, though a time of mourning, can still be filled with celebration and remembrance. It’s a time to honor the one who has died but also an opportunity to begin the healing process for those who are left to grieve. Options to personalize a funeral are becoming more common, which offers families a richer, more meaningful experience. Those present can connect with their grief and express their emotions through mourning.

Nationally respected grief expert, author, and educator, Dr. Alan Wolfelt, emphasizes that creating a healing and meaningful funeral is incredibly important and helps us live more meaningful lives. He says, “People who take the time and make the effort to create meaningful funeral arrangements when someone loved dies often end up making new arrangements in their own lives. They remember and reconnect with what is most meaningful to them in life…strengthen bonds with family members and friends. They emerge changed, more authentic and purposeful. The best funerals remind us how we should live.”

Creating a meaningful experience is all about personalizing the funeral to reflect the life, values, relationships, and ideals of the person who has died. The beauty of personalization is that there’s no mold to follow. Much like a wedding, you can customize every area of a funeral ceremony. As part of that customization, consider including the 7 important elements to creating a meaningful funeral: music, readings, a visitation, a personalized eulogy, symbols, gathering together, and inviting people to participate in symbolic actions.

Below are a few more suggestions for how to personalize a service to the person being honored. Take time to think about favorite songs, readings, recipes, hobbies, pastimes, and funny quirks of habit, as well as treasured memories, mementos, collections, and relationships. Any of these things may trigger some ideas on how to best honor your loved one.

1. Establish a memorial together

Often, family members request memorial donations to be given in honor of a loved one. In most cases, the cause or organization is one that the loved one held close to his or her heart. You might consider choosing a memorial gift that includes a plaque, sign, brick, or other physical memorial that can be inscribed with a loved one’s name. Another option would be to donate or plant a tree as a living memorial at a park, school, church, or other organization. Having a physical place to go where your loved one’s name is inscribed can make a memorial gift more personal. It also offers opportunities to reflect, remember, and cherish memories for years to come.

2. Find a way to include their favorite things

Every person is unique, and we all have personal quirks, things we particularly love. Consider how you might incorporate these things into the funeral. Perhaps there is a favorite color, collection, artwork or personal belongings you can implement. By including them, you share what was most precious to your loved one’s heart with those who come to mourn.

3. Create a memorial work of art together

Bring a large canvas, quilt squares, art supplies, scrapbook supplies, or any other medium that you are comfortable with to create a community work of art. Encourage guests to write down their favorite memory of your loved one on a quilt square, create a scrapbook page, or paint a portion of the canvas with a memory, color, or picture that they would like to share. Perhaps, they could write down a favorite saying or what qualities they appreciated most about your loved one. After the funeral, you will have a treasure trove of memories. On days when you need to feel close to the one you have lost, you can admire the painting, pull out the scrapbook, or wrap up in the quilt and cherish your loved one’s influence on their world of family and friends. Don’t forget to bring the appropriate supplies for writing, painting, or crafting!

4. Make a collage or a timeline

If you have access to pictures, you could create a collage of your loved one to display. Start with childhood and share images from the important events of their life. Or, alternatively, share your most treasured memories of them. Likewise, you could create a timeline of their life’s major events and provide pictures for each one. Consider including events like their birth, high school graduation, first job, children, etc.

5. Invite guests to take an item home

For example, if your loved one was a voracious reader, consider taking some of their books to the ceremony with a note, saying, “[Your loved one’s name] loved to read. Please take and read one of [his or her] books in honor of [his or her] memory.” In doing this, guests leave with a tangible reminder, and it may contribute to creating a meaningful experience. You can do this with recipes, seed packets, postcards, collection items—anything your loved one may have cherished – and invite your guests to honor your loved one’s memory by taking home a small reminder of the person they loved.

6. Include favorite foods

Food is a love language in many families. If your loved one favored certain foods, you might try to incorporate those somehow into the person’s celebration of life. You might have an ice cream station at the visitation. Or arrange a fellowship meal after the service that includes all your loved one’s favorite dishes and desserts.

Now, these ideas are only the beginning. Take some time to think about what would be most meaningful to you and to your loved one’s memory. Every person is unique, and because of this, no two funerals should be the same.

On a final note, in case you didn’t know, it is possible to begin this process now. You can plan ahead for funeral wishes at any time. And of course, if you do decide to plan ahead, you will have ample time to create a personalized, healing, and meaningful funeral service for those left behind to mourn.

May 15

Love0

5 Reasons to Establish a Permanent Memorial

By christy.kessler Cemeteries, Explore Options, Memorial, Planning Tools

When we lose someone we love, our feeling of connection to them continues, even though they are no longer with us physically. It is this connection that contributes to our feelings of loss, that makes it so difficult to process death and move toward healing and reconciliation. And today, as cremation continues to rise as a preferred method of final disposition, one very important element of the healing process is being forgotten: the need for a permanent memorial.

In some areas of the United States, there has been a significant increase in the number of families that keep the cremated remains of a loved one in their homes. While this is not bad in and of itself, it may create unforeseen difficulties down the road. Unfortunately, it is not unheard of for cremated remains to be misplaced, accidentally knocked over and spilled, or even found in the trash or unknowingly donated to thrift stores.

That said, here are 5 reasons why you should consider establishing a permanent memorial for yourself or a loved one:

1. It provides a place for people to mourn.

By establishing a permanent memorial, you provide a place to mourn. If a loved one dies, and one person keeps the cremated remains, it may be difficult for other family members to find a place to go to remember and honor their lost loved one. After all, everything that remains of the person may be inaccessible without inconveniencing the one who possesses the ashes. A permanent memorial allows any person access to the one who has died. Because everyone grieves in different ways and at different rates, a specific place is beneficial for individual grief journeys.

2. It gives all mourners (not just family) access to pay their respects and connect with the one who has died.

Additionally, a permanent memorial provides an established location for non-family members to mourn. For example, if the best friend of the person who has died wants to connect with them, to talk with them, they may have no place to go where they feel as strong a connection as a permanent memorial would provide. In this same vein, it’s not uncommon to see permanent memorials for those who have died due to acts of violence or vehicular accidents. We do this because we have a need to remember, to remind, and to honor the life lived.

3. It provides a permanent place that will exist for generations to come.

Cemeteries, mausoleums, or cremation gardens will exist for many years to come. The oldest maintained cemetery in the United States is in Massachusetts, where several voyagers from the Mayflower are buried. People show great interest in their origins, and because of this curiosity, cemeteries will receive visitors consistently. They provide a permanent place for families to reconnect with their ancestors, even those who died long before they themselves were born.

4. It is practical for the family.

Dr. Alan Wolfelt, a nationally-known author, speaker, and grief expert, tells us that establishing a permanent memorial is a practical choice for the family. “Families can rest easy knowing that the cremated remains [of their loved one] are being taken care of in perpetuity. …Having to pass along urns to the next generation or amassing more and more urns on a shelf…is not a viable long-term solution.”

5. It ensures respect for the dead.

Keeping the cremated remains of a loved one at home can be an important part of the healing process. It all depends on what the mourner needs. But, out of respect for the one who has died, to ensure that nothing unfortunate happens to them when you are gone, it’s best to consider how you can permanently memorialize them. Dr. Wolfelt puts it this way, “It’s about respect for the dying and the dead. Permanent memorialization is one of the most important ways in which we as a culture can ensure that respect [is carried out] ….”

It’s perfectly fine to wait to set up a permanent memorial. For some, it’s necessary to have a loved one nearby during the healing process. But, in three, five, or even ten years, consider the benefits of setting up a permanent memorial. It will ensure that your loved one is cared for long after you are gone.

May 09

Love0

What To Do When Dad Dies

By christy.kessler Meaningful Funerals, Planning Tools

First of all, you have our sincerest sympathies on the loss for your father. Dads are special people – irreplaceable and worth remembering. If your dad completed funeral prearrangement plans, contact the funeral home he partnered with to compile the prearrangements. You will work with that funeral home to bring his wishes to pass.

But, for those whose father did not complete funeral prearrangements, this Quick Start Resource Guide is meant to help you navigate through the process of planning a funeral by supplying you with accurate, up-to-date, helpful links and information on a variety of topics.

The “Why” of Funerals

To start off, it’s important to note that, in today’s world, many families are moving away from standard funerals for their lost loved ones. While it is not inherently bad that people are moving away from traditional options toward cremation, it is unfortunate that some are confusing efficiency with effectiveness. Dr. Alan Wolfelt, a nationally-renowned grief expert who has counseled thousands of families, teaches that the funeral is an important rite of passage and “puts you on the path to good grief and healthy mourning.”

To learn more about why funerals are important, take a look at the articles below.

Should I Have a Funeral?

Why Do We Have Funerals?

Why Is the Funeral Ritual Important?

What is the Difference between a Celebration of Life and a Party?

Final Disposition Options

Nowadays, our options for final disposition (or final resting place) continue to expand. Please take a moment to read the articles below to help you decide which option is most appropriate for your needs.

What Are My Burial Options?

What is Green Burial?

How to Select a Casket

What Should I Know When Considering Cremation?

The Elements of a Meaningful Funeral Service

“People who take the time and make the effort to create meaningful funeral arrangements when someone loved dies often end up making new arrangements in their own lives. They remember and reconnect with what is most meaningful to them in life…strengthen bonds with family members and friends. They emerge changed, more authentic and purposeful. The best funerals remind us how we should live.” – Dr. Alan Wolfelt

In order for a funeral service to be a healing and meaningful experience, there are several tried and true elements that you should consider incorporating.

Music

First of all, music sets the mood for a funeral and brings emotions to the forefront. In fact, one of the purposes of a funeral is to allow mourners to grieve together, and in many ways, music says what words cannot. Don’t be afraid to invite people to express grief. Did your dad have a favorite type of instrument, style of music, or musician? Consider using any or all of them in the service.

Why Include Special Music in a Funeral Ceremony?

Top 10 Hymns for a Funeral Ceremony

Top 10 Songs for a Funeral Ceremony

Readings

Second, readings add another facet to a meaningful funeral. They are another way to not only invite mourners to express their emotions, but readings can bring your dad’s unique spirit to the service. Was there a book he was always reading or reciting? A poem? Was he a person of faith who would want passages read?

How do Readings Enhance the Funeral Experience?

Top 10 Poems for a Funeral Ceremony

Viewing/Visitation

Third, the viewing or visitation is a time for family, friends, coworkers and neighbors to gather and express support and sympathy. If it is decided to have a viewing, it is an opportunity for mourners to see your dad one last time and begin to acknowledge the reality of his death. For many, as part of the grieving process, it is important to physically see the body, and the viewing offers this opportunity.

Why Have a Visitation?

Why Should the Body Be Present?

Eulogy/Remembrance

Fourth, the eulogy may be the single most important aspect of a funeral service. It is the time to acknowledge and affirm the significance of your dad’s life. With that in mind, take time to share treasured memories, familiar quotes, or even his favorite jokes. The eulogy, sometimes called the “remembrance” or the “homily,” can be delivered by a clergy person, a family member, or even by a series of people.

What is a Eulogy?

Crafting a Eulogy

Symbols

Fifth, symbols, or symbolic acts, offer a focus point for the bereaved as well as a sense of comfort. Common symbols are a cross (or another appropriate religious symbol), flowers, and candles. For example, the act of lighting a candle, planting a memorial tree, and wearing dark clothing are all symbols we utilize.

The Importance of Symbols

Gathering

Sixth, the gathering is an opportunity for friends and family to come together after the funeral service to share stories and to support each other. For more benefits of a gathering, take a few moments to read the article below.

What is a Gathering?

Actions

And finally, by inviting others into action at the funeral service, you engage mourners and invite them to put their grief into motion. Simply put, mourning is the outward expression of our inward grief, so to move others toward healing, it is important to invite them to act.

How Do Actions Help us Heal?

Choosing a Memorial Service

Some families decide that a memorial service is a more appropriate tribute for their lost loved one. In short, the main difference between a funeral service and a memorial service is the absence of the body. All the other elements of a meaningful and healing service can be incorporated into a memorial service.

What is a Memorial Service?

Personalization is Key

Whether you have a funeral service or a memorial service, the event will be more meaningful if it is personalized. By personalizing the service, you can honor your dad’s life uniquely and specifically. Moreover, the possibilities for personalization are endless. For a few ideas, read the articles below.

How to Make a Funeral More Personal

What Makes a Funeral Meaningful?

Helping Your Family Personalize a Funeral

5 Unique Venues for a Celebration of Life Service

Funeral Procession

Accompanying the body to its final resting place is a time-honored tradition. If your family chooses to continue the tradition, the procession is a way for others, even strangers, to acknowledge the value of life and show respect for your dad.

What is the Purpose of a Funeral Procession?

Deciding on a Grave Marker

Placing a marker of some kind on a final resting place is important. Not only does it identify the person laid to rest, but it also gives the living a place to go should they desire to visit or mourn the lost loved one. It will be important for you and for future generations to have a place to return to when you want to talk to or visit your dad.

Selecting and Installing a Grave Marker

How to Write a Great Epitaph

Sympathy Gifts

In essence, sympathy gifts are a way for mourners to express their support and condolences to the family who has lost someone loved. Flowers have historically been a popular sympathy gifts. However, in recent years, donations in memoriam to a favorite charity have risen in popularity. Did your dad have a favorite organization or charity that would service this purpose, if your family wishes?

Writing a Touching Obituary

One of the first things you will do after a loved one dies is write an obituary. You don’t have to be a great writer to beautifully express your love for your dad. To that end, even as you include the expected details, consider how you might add little touches that reflect the individuality of his life.

How to Write a Great Obituary

Burial Benefits for Veterans

If your dad was a veteran of the Armed Forces, he may be eligible for certain burial benefits through the Department of Veterans Affairs. Therefore, you might consider looking into these benefits to see if any of them are beneficial to you and your family.

Veterans’ Burial Benefits FAQ

Veterans’ Burial Benefits Checklist

Department of Veterans Affairs

Resources for Advance Funeral Planning

Finally, if you are interested in making your own funeral prearrangement plan, or are curious about why you should do so, take a moment to review the articles below.

Why Plan Ahead for Funeral Wishes?

How to Get Started with Planning

How to Save Money with Funeral Planning

Protecting Your Funeral Funds

May 09

Love0

What To Do When Mom Dies

By christy.kessler Meaningful Funerals, Planning Tools

First of all, you have our sincerest sympathies on the loss for your mother. Moms are special people – irreplaceable and worth remembering. If your mom completed funeral prearrangement plans, contact the funeral home she partnered with to compile the prearrangements. You will work with that funeral home to bring her wishes to pass.

But, for those whose mother did not complete funeral prearrangements, this Quick Start Resource Guide is meant to help you navigate through the process of planning a funeral by supplying you with accurate, up-to-date, helpful links and information on a variety of topics.