Skip to main content
search
Category

Explore Options

Aug 28
Love0

5 Ways to Pay for a Funeral

By Explore Options, Plan Ahead, Planning Tools

Many people do not realize that payment for a funeral is due prior to services being rendered. So, having a financial plan in place to pay for a funeral is essential for every adult. There are many ways to pay for a funeral, in advance or at the time of need. However, not all payment methods are created equal. Each method has its own risks and benefits, so it is up to you to decide which payment method is right for you.

1. Prepaid Funeral Plans

Many people choose to pay for a funeral in advance with a prepaid funeral plan. Funeral plans with a special “preneed” contract funded with an insurance policy, trust, or annuity offer several benefits. Some funeral providers will offer a guarantee that “locks in” the cost of the selected funeral goods and services at the current price. If you expect to live another 10, 15, 20 or even 30 years, this type of contract could save your family money.

Preneed Policies

Preneed policies can be paid in full or set up on installment plans with a set number of payments that fit into your budget. The funds go to a specialized insurance company and offer growth with certain tax advantages. The plans are also transferable to another funeral home should you move away.

Funeral Trusts

Funeral trusts also offer the benefit of some growth, depending on the underlying investment, so they are a popular option for those planning ahead as well. Some states require funeral homes to deposit 100% of funeral funds, and other states require only a percentage. Be sure that you clearly understand the terms of your funeral trust before entering into a contract, and pay special attention to the portability of your trust funds should you move.

Irrevocable prepaid funeral plans can also be set up as Medicaid-exempt assets to help an individual qualify for Medicaid later in life.

In the case of using an insurance policy to fund a prepaid funeral plan, it’s best to speak with a preplanning consultant who can review all of your options and answer any questions you may have.

2. Life Insurance or Final Expense Plan

Families often plan to cover funeral expenses with a life insurance policy or final expense policy. The truth is, there can be many unexpected complications. To learn more about these complications, take a moment to read The Truth About Life Insurance and Funeral Expenses. Even if your policy is problem free, it may take 6 to 8 weeks to receive payment.

Advance Funding

Some funeral homes will agree to file the life insurance claim on your behalf, or they will partner with advance funding companies (also called an assignment company) to help families access life insurance policy benefits faster. Similar to a rapid refund on a tax return that you might receive from your tax preparer, advance funding is an advance on your life insurance policy benefits. The assignment company contacts the insurance company and verifies that the policy has not lapsed and has no other issues. You will receive funds within 24-48 hours of verification of the policy. The assignment company will deduct a small fee to cover administrative costs.

3. Personal Account/CD/Pay-on-Death Account

Some families choose to set up a pay-on-death account with a named beneficiary. This option allows your assets to be available to your heirs without having to go through probate. However, there are a few disadvantages to maintaining a personal pay-on-death account. With each year that goes by, the purchasing power in your account actually goes down. In addition, these types of accounts do not generally offer a sufficient amount of interest to offset inflation over time. Personal accounts are also not considered Medicaid-exempt should you require long-term care assistance. Personal accounts are also at risk of being used or seized due to civil judgments, bankruptcy, or divorce.

4. Credit Card or Funeral Loan

Another possibility to pay for a funeral is using a credit card or taking out a personal loan. Obviously, this is not the best option since it includes the possibility of paying interest on the funeral amount. Some lending companies offer families funeral loans, often with no interest for the first few months. Ask your funeral director about funeral lending companies, if interested.

5. Crowdfunding Website

If no financial plan in place at the time of need, families can use a crowdfunding website to pay for a funeral. Some of these websites are general fundraising platforms that can help you raise money for a funeral. GoFundMe.com, in particular, has become a very popular way to campaign for a service. Other websites such as Funeral Fund are specifically tailored to funeral fundraising. These sites provide efficient ways to receive the financial support needed to craft a meaningful ceremony.

Consider the Pros and Cons of Each Payment Method

With any option that you choose, you must weigh the risks and benefits of each. On one end of the spectrum, you have fully-insured prepaid funeral plans. These plans offer the highest amount of protection. On the other end of the spectrum, you have personal accounts. These offer the least amount of protection for funeral funds. In the end, it’s up to you to decide which option is the best for you and your family.

Jun 26
Love0

Selecting a Cremation Urn

By Cremation, Explore Options, Plan Ahead, Planning Tools

According to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA), cremation has continued to grow as a choice for final disposition. In fact, in the 2017 Cremation and Burial Report, the NFDA found that approximately half of Americans chose cremation in 2016. However, in spite of the growth of cremation in the U.S., many people don’t know about all the options available to them.

For example, families sometimes feel overwhelmed by the number of cremation urns they have to choose from. You can narrow down your options by considering what you want to do with the urn. Whether you are putting together a complete advance funeral plan or planning for the death of a loved one, consider how you want the cremated body to be memorialized. Want to plant a memorial tree or rose bush? Choose a biodegradable urn. Want to keep the urn at home? Choose a decorative memorial urn. Want to scatter the ashes at sea? Choose a scattering urn. Form follows function, so think about the function first, then choose the form.

Another aspect to consider is setting up a long-term plan for permanent placement of the urn. While keeping the cremated body of a loved one at home is comforting to many, it’s important to have a plan in mind for a final resting place. It’s unrealistic to expect that, in 50 years, future generations will keep multiple urns of family members in their homes. Instead, make a plan – a personal and meaningful one – and execute it. In 10 years, you might scatter the ashes or bury the urn in an urn garden or place it in a columbarium. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter which option you choose, simply that you have a long-term plan for the cremated remains of your loved one so that they will be cared for long after you are gone.

Materials

An urn is simply a container for the deceased’s cremated body and can be made from almost any material. Urns can be made of:

• Plastic
• Cardboard (or other biodegradable material)
• Cast Resin
• Wood
• Ceramic
• Metal
• Marble
• Glass
• Clay
• And many other types of materials!

Types

Cremation urns come in all shapes and sizes, materials, and styles. You may want to talk with a funeral director, who has years of knowledge to impart, to help you make an informed decision. To get you started, here is a quick list of the different types of cremation urns available:

Keepsake Urn

Often small, a keepsake urn is used when either a small portion of the cremated body is kept and the rest scattered, or the ashes are split between more than one relative.

Decorative Urn

A family may choose a decorative urn to display at a memorial service, at home, or to use in a glass-front niche in a columbarium or to place in an urn garden.

Biodegradable Urn

An environmentally-friendly urn option, the biodegradable urn is becoming increasingly popular. This type of urn is commonly used for scattering, especially at sea. However, burial is also possible.

Religious Urn

This type of urn showcases the spiritual beliefs of the one who has died. In most cases, the scenes or verses on the urn are associated with the person’s religious background.

Companion Urn

The companion urn has two main types: a double or single compartment. Though not a requirement, it’s more common for couples to choose a companion urn. In the double compartment urn, each person’s ashes is separate but always together. With the single compartment urn, the ashes are intermingled.

Infant Urn

Usually smaller in size, an infant urn is most often used to hold the ashes of an infant or small child. In many cases, the family wants to keep the child close as they grieve, and the infant urn meets this need.

Sculpted Urn

Sometimes called an “art urn,” this type is a lovely mini-sculpture of your choice, modified to accommodate ashes. If you plan ahead, you can commission a special art urn that reflects your personal tastes.

Themed Urn

You can purchase a themed urn, and the possible variations are as limitless as your creativity. A few common types of themed urn are sport, hobby, art, and nature.

Picture Urn

Just like it sounds, this urn is shaped like a picture frame and allows you to display a favorite photograph of your loved one on the outside of the urn.

Military/Veteran Urn

If the military was a key part of a person’s life, you might consider selecting a veteran urn. The urn itself is designed to commemorate and honor the patriotism and sacrifice of veterans.

SPECIAL NOTE: If you plan to travel somewhere via airplane with cremated remains, make sure that you have an appropriate urn. If airline security is unable to see through the urn on the X-ray machine, they may need to manually search the urn. To prevent this, make sure to purchase a felt or non-metallic material for the urn.

As you can see, choices for cremation urns abound. Before making a decision, you may wish to talk to your family members and speak with a funeral professional. You may get even more ideas after discussing the topic with a knowledgeable person.

May 30
Love1

6 Ways to Personalize a Funeral

By Explore Options, Meaningful Funerals

A funeral, though a time of mourning, can still be filled with celebration and remembrance. It’s a time to honor the one who has died but also an opportunity to begin the healing process for those who are left to grieve. Options to personalize a funeral are becoming more common, which offers families a richer, more meaningful experience. Those present can connect with their grief and express their emotions through mourning.

Nationally respected grief expert, author, and educator, Dr. Alan Wolfelt, emphasizes that creating a healing and meaningful funeral is incredibly important and helps us live more meaningful lives. He says, “People who take the time and make the effort to create meaningful funeral arrangements when someone loved dies often end up making new arrangements in their own lives. They remember and reconnect with what is most meaningful to them in life…strengthen bonds with family members and friends. They emerge changed, more authentic and purposeful. The best funerals remind us how we should live.”

Creating a meaningful experience is all about personalizing the funeral to reflect the life, values, relationships, and ideals of the person who has died. The beauty of personalization is that there’s no mold to follow. Much like a wedding, you can customize every area of a funeral ceremony. As part of that customization, consider including the 7 important elements to creating a meaningful funeral: music, readings, a visitation, a personalized eulogy, symbols, gathering together, and inviting people to participate in symbolic actions.

Below are a few more suggestions for how to personalize a service to the person being honored. Take time to think about favorite songs, readings, recipes, hobbies, pastimes, and funny quirks of habit, as well as treasured memories, mementos, collections, and relationships. Any of these things may trigger some ideas on how to best honor your loved one.

1. Establish a memorial together

Often, family members request memorial donations to be given in honor of a loved one. In most cases, the cause or organization is one that the loved one held close to his or her heart. You might consider choosing a memorial gift that includes a plaque, sign, brick, or other physical memorial that can be inscribed with a loved one’s name. Another option would be to donate or plant a tree as a living memorial at a park, school, church, or other organization. Having a physical place to go where your loved one’s name is inscribed can make a memorial gift more personal. It also offers opportunities to reflect, remember, and cherish memories for years to come.

2. Find a way to include their favorite things

Every person is unique, and we all have personal quirks, things we particularly love. Consider how you might incorporate these things into the funeral. Perhaps there is a favorite color, collection, artwork or personal belongings you can implement. By including them, you share what was most precious to your loved one’s heart with those who come to mourn.

3. Create a memorial work of art together

Bring a large canvas, quilt squares, art supplies, scrapbook supplies, or any other medium that you are comfortable with to create a community work of art. Encourage guests to write down their favorite memory of your loved one on a quilt square, create a scrapbook page, or paint a portion of the canvas with a memory, color, or picture that they would like to share. Perhaps, they could write down a favorite saying or what qualities they appreciated most about your loved one. After the funeral, you will have a treasure trove of memories. On days when you need to feel close to the one you have lost, you can admire the painting, pull out the scrapbook, or wrap up in the quilt and cherish your loved one’s influence on their world of family and friends. Don’t forget to bring the appropriate supplies for writing, painting, or crafting!

4. Make a collage or a timeline

If you have access to pictures, you could create a collage of your loved one to display. Start with childhood and share images from the important events of their life. Or, alternatively, share your most treasured memories of them. Likewise, you could create a timeline of their life’s major events and provide pictures for each one. Consider including events like their birth, high school graduation, first job, children, etc.

5. Invite guests to take an item home

For example, if your loved one was a voracious reader, consider taking some of their books to the ceremony with a note, saying, “[Your loved one’s name] loved to read. Please take and read one of [his or her] books in honor of [his or her] memory.” In doing this, guests leave with a tangible reminder, and it may contribute to creating a meaningful experience. You can do this with recipes, seed packets, postcards, collection items—anything your loved one may have cherished – and invite your guests to honor your loved one’s memory by taking home a small reminder of the person they loved.

6. Include favorite foods

Food is a love language in many families. If your loved one favored certain foods, you might try to incorporate those somehow into the person’s celebration of life. You might have an ice cream station at the visitation. Or arrange a fellowship meal after the service that includes all your loved one’s favorite dishes and desserts.

Now, these ideas are only the beginning. Take some time to think about what would be most meaningful to you and to your loved one’s memory. Every person is unique, and because of this, no two funerals should be the same.

On a final note, in case you didn’t know, it is possible to begin this process now. You can plan ahead for funeral wishes at any time. And of course, if you do decide to plan ahead, you will have ample time to create a personalized, healing, and meaningful funeral service for those left behind to mourn.

May 15
Love0

5 Reasons to Establish a Permanent Memorial

By Cemeteries, Explore Options, Memorial, Planning Tools

When we lose someone we love, our feeling of connection to them continues, even though they are no longer with us physically. It is this connection that contributes to our feelings of loss, that makes it so difficult to process death and move toward healing and reconciliation. And today, as cremation continues to rise as a preferred method of final disposition, one very important element of the healing process is being forgotten: the need for a permanent memorial.

In some areas of the United States, there has been a significant increase in the number of families that keep the cremated remains of a loved one in their homes. While this is not bad in and of itself, it may create unforeseen difficulties down the road. Unfortunately, it is not unheard of for cremated remains to be misplaced, accidentally knocked over and spilled, or even found in the trash or unknowingly donated to thrift stores.

That said, here are 5 reasons why you should consider establishing a permanent memorial for yourself or a loved one:

1. It provides a place for people to mourn.

By establishing a permanent memorial, you provide a place to mourn. If a loved one dies, and one person keeps the cremated remains, it may be difficult for other family members to find a place to go to remember and honor their lost loved one. After all, everything that remains of the person may be inaccessible without inconveniencing the one who possesses the ashes. A permanent memorial allows any person access to the one who has died. Because everyone grieves in different ways and at different rates, a specific place is beneficial for individual grief journeys.

2. It gives all mourners (not just family) access to pay their respects and connect with the one who has died.

Additionally, a permanent memorial provides an established location for non-family members to mourn. For example, if the best friend of the person who has died wants to connect with them, to talk with them, they may have no place to go where they feel as strong a connection as a permanent memorial would provide. In this same vein, it’s not uncommon to see permanent memorials for those who have died due to acts of violence or vehicular accidents. We do this because we have a need to remember, to remind, and to honor the life lived.

3. It provides a permanent place that will exist for generations to come.

Cemeteries, mausoleums, or cremation gardens will exist for many years to come. The oldest maintained cemetery in the United States is in Massachusetts, where several voyagers from the Mayflower are buried. People show great interest in their origins, and because of this curiosity, cemeteries will receive visitors consistently. They provide a permanent place for families to reconnect with their ancestors, even those who died long before they themselves were born.

4. It is practical for the family.

Dr. Alan Wolfelt, a nationally-known author, speaker, and grief expert, tells us that establishing a permanent memorial is a practical choice for the family. “Families can rest easy knowing that the cremated remains [of their loved one] are being taken care of in perpetuity. …Having to pass along urns to the next generation or amassing more and more urns on a shelf…is not a viable long-term solution.”

5. It ensures respect for the dead.

Keeping the cremated remains of a loved one at home can be an important part of the healing process. It all depends on what the mourner needs. But, out of respect for the one who has died, to ensure that nothing unfortunate happens to them when you are gone, it’s best to consider how you can permanently memorialize them. Dr. Wolfelt puts it this way, “It’s about respect for the dying and the dead. Permanent memorialization is one of the most important ways in which we as a culture can ensure that respect [is carried out] ….”

It’s perfectly fine to wait to set up a permanent memorial. For some, it’s necessary to have a loved one nearby during the healing process. But, in three, five, or even ten years, consider the benefits of setting up a permanent memorial. It will ensure that your loved one is cared for long after you are gone.

Feb 15
Love0
View from above of light-wood desk with laptop, cup of tea, plant, pens, and notepad

Top 10 Characteristics to Look for in a Funeral Home

By Explore Options, Planning Tools

For many of us, the death of a loved one is one of the most difficult life events we face. We don’t want to think about it, but there is value in thinking ahead and being prepared for an event that we will all face someday. Whether you want to complete advance planning arrangements or are in the midst of planning the funeral of a loved one right now, it’s important to choose the funeral home that works best for you.

Unfortunately, funeral homes are not created equal. It’s important to choose one that will meet your individual needs and desires. Consider these 10 characteristics of a good funeral home as you select a partner for your funeral planning needs.

1. Possesses a Good Reputation

We all know of a place (whether it be a restaurant, movie theater, retail store, or funeral home) that has a bad reputation. What do we instinctively do when we know a place has a bad reputation? We avoid it. We read the online reviews, we listen to other people’s stories, and we value our own experience.

Particularly when selecting a funeral home, find an establishment that possesses a good reputation so you can be confident in the care and service you will receive. Ask your friends for recommendations or read online reviews of the funeral homes in your area.

2. Employs Caring and Compassionate Staff

As with any business you frequent, you should expect to be treated with kindness. However, this attitude should be especially true of funeral home staff since families are facing a difficult time in their lives. Excellent customer service and authentic sincerity constitute a large part of a funeral home’s reputation, which is one reason these two qualities are very important to funeral directors and their staff. The staff will treat you well and with consummate professionalism. If they don’t, there’s a problem.

One way to determine if a funeral home’s staff is caring is to see how involved they are in the community. Or, make a short list of funeral homes you are considering and give them a call. You can learn a lot about the quality of a person from a simple phone call. Also, some funeral homes are now incorporating grief therapy dogs as part of their staff, in an effort to provide comfort to families and guests.

3. Communicates a Commitment to the Families It Serves

No matter where you go, you should have confidence in the funeral home’s commitment to you. If a funeral home has a good reputation and employs kind and caring staff, then they will likely show great commitment to the families they serve. However, it is still good practice to read a funeral home’s mission statement and history. These two pieces of information can give you a better understanding of a funeral home’s values and commitments. You should be a top priority.

4. Is Willing to Create a Unique and Meaningful Experience for You or Your Loved One

Renowned grief counselor, author, and educator, Dr. Alan Wolfelt, says, “What is essential [when planning a funeral] is the life that was lived and the impact that life had on family and friends. To honor that unique life, the funeral must also be unique. Over and over families tell me that the best funerals are those that are personalized.”

As you consider a funeral home, ask yourself, “Will this funeral home help me create a service unique to my needs and values?” Personalized funerals and memorials are on the rise in the United States. Families and friends are looking for unique and personal ways to honor lost loved ones, and a good funeral home will work with you to create a meaningful and healing experience. Is the funeral director listening to you carefully and willing to educate you in areas where you lack knowledge? Is the funeral director offering helpful options and explaining the benefits and pitfalls of each option?

Inside a large, nicely-furnished room

5. Offers a Good Location, Facility, and Services

First, whenever possible, choose a convenient location. You will be in frequent contact with the funeral home as you plan a funeral, so a convenient location will be helpful for your preparations.

Second, consider the funeral home facility critically. Is it clean and well-kept? Do they have a chapel, space for a visitation, viewing, or reception (if your plans require such spaces)? Is the décor to your liking? Is the space flexible – can you adjust it to meet your specific needs? Consider the elements you want to be a part of the funeral service and choose a funeral home that meets those desires.

Finally, confirm that the funeral home offers the services you need. Do they offer transportation services, embalming, cremation, etc.? Some funeral homes now offer child-friendly spaces – is that something that’s important to you? No matter what your wishes, only commit to a funeral home that can accomplish them.

6. Accommodates Religious or Cultural Needs

In the United States, the population has always been a mix of religions and culture. As it becomes even more diverse, it’s important for funeral homes to meet the changing needs. With this in mind, no matter what your background, you should look for a funeral home that will help you honor your loved one in the way that you deem appropriate for your cultural background and religious beliefs. For some people, their origins and beliefs make up the fabric of who they are. It’s important that these core values are evident in the funeral or memorial service. No two people are the same, and because of our individual uniqueness, no two funerals should be the same either.

7. Values Transparency about Costs and Descriptions

Almost everyone values a transparent fee structure. With that in mind, partner with a funeral home that values openness and transparency with you. In case you aren’t aware, funeral homes are required to follow the Federal Trade Commission’s Funeral Rule. This law stipulates that, when asked, a funeral home:

  • Must provide any consumer with a general price list
  • Should inform the consumer that they have the right to choose the funeral goods and services they want (with some exceptions)
  • Must disclose, on the general price list, whether any particular item is required by state or local law
  • May not refuse or charge a fee to handle a casket bought elsewhere
  • Must offer alternative containers (if cremation is chosen, alternative containers must be offered)

Ask for an itemized list that includes all expenses with nothing left out. This will help you determine what’s best for your budget – no surprises! And remember, you get what you pay for. Cheapest isn’t always best in every case. If you are looking to cut down on costs, consider looking into a preplanned and prepaid funeral. By making plans without the stress of time constraints, a family can save hundreds of dollars.

In short, look for a funeral home that is considerate of your needs and your budget. Is the funeral home transparent about funeral service costs? Is the package pricing clear? Have they offered you a general price list and helped you plan a service within your budget?

8. Offers Grief Resources

An important question to ask yourself is, “Does this funeral home provide services beyond the funeral itself?” A good funeral home will be there for you even after the funeral is over. Look for an establishment that offers grief counseling services, post funeral newsletters and education, grief support groups or materials, in-home “check in” visits and phone calls, or hosts holiday commemoration services, to name a few options. Your grief journey is important, and the right funeral home can help you on the road toward healing.

9. Utilizes Up-to-Date Technology

The funeral industry is often accused of being behind the times, but this is not entirely true. Yes, some funeral homes may be slow to change, but there are new, exciting technological advances available. More and more funeral homes are cultivating a social media presence, creating and updating their websites, helping families create memorial videos, or offering webcasting services. Some are even providing online funeral planning services. If these services are important to you, look for a funeral home that uses up-to-date technology to enhance its services.

View from above of light-wood desk with laptop, cup of tea, plant, pens, and notepad

10. Engages the Community with Education Programs

Finally, a good funeral home and its staff engages the community before, during, and after the funeral. Does the funeral home host education programs about estate planning and the importance of getting your affairs together? Do they offer Lunch & Learns to share the importance of funeral preplanning or offer tours of the funeral home facilities? Do they offer hospice continuing education or engage in community events? The funeral home should be an advocate of information. Death inevitably comes to us all, and we cannot change that. But, education and preparation can be our ally, but that only happens if a funeral home engages with its community.

Oct 02
Love0

How to Write a Great Epitaph

By Explore Options, Planning Tools

An epitaph is an inscription on a tomb, a gravestone, a plaque, or a memorial marker that honors the memory of a deceased person. The use of epitaphs can be traced to the ancient Egyptians. Epitaphs were also used by the ancient Greeks and the Romans. The use of inscriptions in this way became commonplace around the late 1700’s.

Epitaphs can be light-hearted and witty or inspirational and profound. All great epitaphs reflect the spirit of the loved one and put a unique, personalized touch on the marker. If you want to memorialize your loved one’s life in an interesting way, you may want to consider the following tips for creating a unique epitaph.

Brainstorm ideas and get feedback

First of all, brainstorm a few ideas and get feedback from other family members. Consider your options and others’ input before making a final decision on the epitaph. For example, if the epitaph is for a parent, make sure all of your siblings are on board with the decision.

Give yourself time to think

Secondly, make sure that you leave plenty of time to decide on the epitaph you and your family want. This is not the kind of decision that you want to rush into. Start thinking ahead, and when you come up with an idea that everyone likes, sit with it for a while. Your choice will literally be set in stone.

Put yourself in your loved one’s shoes

Next, consider what your loved one would want. Would they prefer a light-hearted, humorous epitaph? Or one that moves people deeply and encourages them in daily life? Perhaps you could use a quote from one of their favorite historical figures or a quote that is unique to the individual. Brainstorm words or phrases that describe your loved one’s personality, and look for quotes that represent their character.

Examine principles, beliefs, and values

Also consider your loved one’s core beliefs and values when choosing an epitaph. If your loved one is a person of faith, you may want to consider a favorite Bible verse. Or you might want to use a quote from a poem, song, or literary work. Whatever you choose, make sure that it represents the life of the individual and what was most important to them.

Share the person’s legacy

Alternatively, many epitaphs share a snippet of the person’s legacy. You might see epitaphs that say something like, “Beloved wife, mother, and friend,” or “He gave his life for his country.” These brief testaments can bring comfort to those who come back year after year to visit the grave for a time of reflection.

Keep it short

The length of an epitaph will vary, but in most cases, it should be as compact as possible. Consider the amount of space you have available, as well as the kind of material that it will be inscribed on. Certain types of rock require larger lettering, and the bigger the letters, the shorter the epitaph will have to be. If you have any questions regarding the marker, talk with your funeral director. But remember, as a general rule, shorter is better.

Think big picture

The epitaph is an opportunity to communicate a message to people who will be visiting your loved one in the decades or even centuries to come. For this reason, it’s important to decide on an epitaph that will stand the test of time. Consider something that has universal appeal. You don’t want to decide on a passing fad or a cultural reference that will fade into obscurity as the years go by.

Finally, these tips don’t only apply to a lost loved one. Planning ahead for your own end-of-life decisions takes a burden off of your loved ones. You can choose an epitaph in advance that is reflective of your life, values, and core beliefs. By providing your loved ones with an epitaph in writing, you’ll take one more decision off of their hands after your passing.

Jun 02
Love0

How to Select a Casket

By Cemeteries, Explore Options, Planning Tools

If you decide on a traditional burial for you or your loved one, the next important decision that you will need to make is determining the type of casket. Before purchasing, do some research on various types of caskets and the costs associated with them. Below is a basic outline regarding the process of selecting and purchasing a casket.

Casket or Coffin?

Before examining the different caskets available, we need to make sure that we know exactly what we are referring to when we use the term. While the word casket is often used interchangeably with coffin, there is an important difference between the two terms: a coffin is hexagonal or octagonal, while the casket is rectangular. Also, a casket often contains a split lid for the purpose of viewing the body, while a coffin does not. The two pictures above illustrate these differences. Caskets are more popular in the U.S., while coffins have a long tradition of popularity in the U.K.

Materials

Caskets are generally made of wood or metal. The following are materials commonly used in their construction.

Wood

  • High-cost materials: Mahogany, Walnut, and Cherry
  • Medium-cost materials: Oak, Birch, and Maple
  • Low-cost materials: Pine, Poplar, and Willow

Metal

  • Standard Steel: Least expensive type of metal casket available. Available in 20-gauge, 18-gauge, and 16-gauge. The term “gauge” refers to the thickness of the metal. The lower the gauge, the thicker the material.
  • Stainless Steel: More durable than standard steel and a little more expensive. Available in the same gauges as standard steel.
  • Copper and Bronze: Have rust-resistant properties that steel lacks. While they do not technically rust, they will eventually oxidize and break down in a manner similar to rusting. Durable, high quality metals, but far more expensive than steel. Unlike steel caskets, they are measured by weight instead of gauge.

Eco-Friendly

If you want to go green, environmentally-friendly options are also available. Wicker caskets made from bamboo, willow, or sea grass are popular choices. You can also choose a cardboard casket, which is easy to decorate with a digitally-printed design. Burial shrouds made of wool, cotton, linen, and silk are also worth looking into.  If you want to be environmentally conscious but desire a traditional wooden coffin, consider a coffin made from sustainably-sourced wood.

Alternative Containers, Cremation Caskets, and Rental Caskets

If you opt for cremation, you will probably still want to decide on a casket or container to use. A cremation casket is a wooden casket that may be cremated with the body after the service. An alternative container, generally made of wood, cardboard, or fiberboard, is a cheaper option. If you want a ceremonial casket at the funeral, most funeral homes offer a rental casket for the service, which isn’t as weird as it sounds. Rental caskets are crafted to include an insert for the cremation container, so the cremation casket is placed inside the ceremonial casket for the service. After the service, the cremation container is removed for cremation, offering the best of both worlds.

Gasketed and Non-Gasketed

You may have heard people refer to certain metal caskets as “gasketed.” A gasketed casket, also known as a protective casket, is sealed with a rubber gasket to keep the elements from entering the casket. While this seal will protect the casket for a long time, it will not preserve it indefinitely. It simply delays the natural process of decomposition.

Purchasing the Casket

You may want to visit your local funeral home to browse the selection in person. If you do, know that your funeral director is required by law to show you a list of the caskets available before showing you the caskets. Make sure to ask to see a variety of caskets in different price ranges. Some customers buy the first caskets they see and don’t review all the options. Don’t rush through the process of buying the casket. Get the full picture, explore all of the available options, and ask your funeral director if you have any questions. Remember that the funeral director is there to help, and his or her experience can be very useful.

Burial Vault or Grave Liners

Grave liners and burial vaults are outer burial containers that play an important structural role in maintaining the level of the ground in a cemetery. Over time, caskets deteriorate, weighed down by six feet of earth and the heavy machinery used to dig graves. When this happens, the ground sinks, leaving an uneven landscape in the cemetery. To avoid this, caskets are usually placed in solid structures that can bear the weight of the earth, helping to maintain the structure of the cemetery grounds. The grave liner or burial vault holds the casket solely for this purpose. Though not required by law, most cemeteries require the use of a burial vault or grave liner. However, green cemeteries and nature preserves generally do not. Do some research into the cemetery that you are considering if you do not wish to have an outer burial container.

Research

Caskets are one of the more expensive elements of the funeral and burial process. It’s important to make sure that you know what you want before purchasing. Do some research and visit your local funeral home to ask questions before buying. Take advantage of all the resources at your disposal so that you can make an informed choice that is fitting for the burial you want for yourself or a loved one.

May 12
Love0

Selecting and Installing a Grave Marker

By Cemeteries, Explore Options

We all have a need to memorialize those who have gone before us. For thousands of years, humans have used memorials to commemorate important people and events. By choosing a permanent memorial for your loved one, you provide a peaceful place where family and friends can go to reflect for many years to come.

Permanent memorialization is important regardless of the individual circumstances. It doesn’t matter whether the body is buried or cremated: either way, people need a place to come and remember. People visit important historical places and monuments such as the Vietnam Wall because they need to have a tangible reminder of that person’s existence. We all desire to remember and be remembered.

When planning for burial, you’ll want to give some thought to the process of selecting and installing a gravestone or marker. You should also know your options if you are planning for cremation, and should consider a gravestone, grave marker, or plaque. Generations from now, family members will want to be able to visit your permanent memorial. Below are some suggestions to keep in mind as you consider a headstone, plaque, or other permanent memorial.

Look into the specific guidelines and regulations of your cemetery

Before deciding on the material and style of your headstone or marker, be sure that it is allowed by the cemetery. Some cemeteries have certain restrictions. For example, space limitations may prohibit a large gravestone, or the cemetery may require certain materials to maintain a style consistent with the surrounding headstones. Before going any further, contact the cemetery and touch base with them regarding the type of marker that you’re considering.

Select the type of grave marker

The following are some common styles of grave markers:

  • Footstone – Generally made of marble, this marker is located at the foot of the grave.
  • Upright Headstone – A two-piece, traditional marker.
  • Slant and Bevel Markers – Sloped stone markers, usually used to distinguish an individual from the surrounding family grave markers.
  • Niche Marker – Usually found in a mausoleum, this plaque attaches to the wall outside a niche.
  • Lawn-Level Marker – A stone that is level with the ground.
  • Ledger Stone – A large stone that covers the area of the grave.

Select the grave marker material

The following are some common materials to choose from:

  • Granite – Known for its durability, this is a very popular choice. Historically, granite was quite pricey, but it has become increasingly affordable in recent years, and is now one of the cheaper options.
  • Marble – Often chosen for aesthetic reasons, marble is a beautiful, smooth material. Unfortunately, it also weathers easily. While it lasts, it looks terrific, but the inscription may eventually fade.
  • Stainless Steel – A newer type of grave marker, stainless steel is less susceptible to weathering than most other materials.
  • Bronze – A sturdy and aesthetically pleasing choice, bronze requires very little upkeep. However, it is a more expensive option.
  • Limestone – A traditional, elegant material, limestone is visually pleasing but weak. The softness of this material makes it particularly vulnerable to environmental decay.

Look into the cemetery’s installation services

Contact the cemetery about installing the grave marker. If the cemetery offers installation services (it probably will), ask about the installation fee. In the off-chance that they don’t, you can pay a local monument installer to set it for you.

Grave markers for veterans

If you are an eligible veteran, the Department of Veterans Affairs will provide a free headstone or appropriate marker for your grave. Generally, this service doesn’t include spouses, and installation fees will still apply in a private cemetery.

Alternative markers and memorials

  • Green Options: Your family may want to consider planting a tree or a shrub in your memory. This option is environmentally friendly and could be particularly meaningful if you are fond of nature. You can find more information on green burial options here.
  • Memorial Websites: Many websites are available that let you set up a webpage in memory of a life well lived. Let your family know if this kind of memorialization interests you.
  • Memorial Donations, Scholarships, and Organizations: You may decide to have people give money to an organization that has a close tie to you. You could have your family write an “In lieu of flowers” line in the obituary, letting people know that they can donate to a charity to show their support. Or you could have your family start a scholarship fund in your name to help students with financial needs. There are plenty of options available, so be creative and find a way to do something that reflects the spirit of your life.

Thinking ahead

After the loss of a loved one, families are often distracted by all the decisions that have to be made and are unable to fully focus on their grief. When you can, remove as many of these obstacles as possible ahead of time. If the details of your burial are important to you, talk to your loved ones about your preferences in advance, or prepare instructions that they have access to after you are gone. If decisions about your grave marker aren’t particularly important to you, communicate your flexibility to your family, so that when the time comes, they won’t stress over trying to determine your wishes.

 

Skip to content