christy.kessler, Author at Funeral Basics

Apr 06

focus on two women attending a grief support group, one older and one younger

7 Benefits of Joining a Grief Support Group

By christy.kessler Grief/Loss

After the death of someone you love, it’s hard to come to grips with your new reality. Figuring out how to move forward, how to do life, without their presence can be both physically exhausting and emotionally overwhelming. If you are struggling with the emotions of grief, then it might be time to consider joining a grief support group.

The idea of joining a grief support group might feel uncomfortable, especially if 1) you’re an introverted person, 2) you’ve never done it before, or 3) you don’t like admitting that you need help. But really, grief support groups come in all shapes and sizes. You can choose a group that focuses on a wide range of grief types or select a group that has a narrower focus (spouse loss, child loss, suicide loss, etc.). This way, you will journey with other people going through a similar type of loss. Also, you can choose a group similar in age to yourself or one that spans generations.

No matter which type of group you choose, there are many benefits to attending a grief support group. Let’s discuss seven of those benefits together.

7 Benefits of Joining a Grief Support Group

By joining a grief support group, you can:

1. Build connections and find a sense of community

Perhaps the biggest benefit to joining a support group is finding a community you can be vulnerable with. Depending on your life and circumstances, it might be hard to open up with friends or family members. With a grief support group, you are all there for the same reason – to process your grief and move toward healing and reconciliation. There’s freedom in opening up to people who don’t inform your everyday life and who are solely interested in helping you heal. And if friendships arise from the group, all the better. You have advocates for your continued grief journey.

2. Realize you’re not alone

By nature, grief can be isolating. We all process loss in different ways, and the voice in your mind tries to convince you that you’re absolutely alone. That you’re the only person dealing with these complicated feelings. When you join a grief support group, it quickly becomes clear that you aren’t alone. Your feelings are legitimate, valid, and normal. But most of all – there are other people who understand what you’ve experienced and are figuring out how to deal with it, too.

3. Positively impact your mental health

In many ways, it’s easier to keep our feelings to ourselves, but that’s often not the best choice for good mental health. Getting things off your chest has a cathartic effect. Being open, sharing what’s going on inside, dealing with your emotions – these are all proven ways to deal with stress and improve mental health. In a recent study, it was determined that grief support groups can even help reduce depressive symptoms after loss.

4. Find hope and foster personal resilience

When you’re in the depths of strong emotions, like sadness or anger, it’s hard to see your way through. It may feel like this is just your new norm, and there’s nothing you can do about it. In a grief support group, you will find people who are at various stages of the grief journey. Interacting with people who are further along the grief journey can instill a sense of hope and inspire your own resilience. There is a better future ahead as you actively work through your feelings of grief.

5. See the reality of the grieving process

If this is the first big loss you’ve suffered, then your own feelings may take you by surprise. Is it normal to feel this way? Should I feel this sad or this angry or this lost? In a grief support group, you see people at various stages of grief. They will showcase a wide range of emotions and help you normalize your own feelings. Grief is up and down, slow and messy, strong today and quiet tomorrow. Some people will share their story freely while others will sit back and only listen. Every person processes differently. No matter where you’re at on the spectrum, it’s okay and it’s normal.

6. Discover a safe space to express yourself

Within a grief support group, there’s a commitment to listen, encourage, and help each other. This sense of commitment and camaraderie creates a unique opportunity to be real. Surrounded by a group of hurting people, you don’t have to hide your own hurt. Instead, you can open up. Create common bonds with the people around you. Express what’s going on in your own heart and mind freely. This is a safe space – a place where you won’t be judged, a place where you can find validation and encouragement.

7. Learn from the wisdom of others

No matter how many times you’ve experienced loss, every death hits different. Because of that, you may feel even more lost as to how to process your feelings. In a grief support group, you have access to a wealth of knowledge and experience. You will hear about coping skills that are new to you. You may learn more about how the mind and the body react to grief. With the valuable insights and tools you learn, you can create daily practices that will help you manage your own grief and move toward healing.

Should I Attend Online or In Person?

Ultimately, the decision between online and in person depends on either your preference or what’s available in your area.

With an online group, you can join from the comfort of your home and choose what level of involvement you want. Plus, an online group would be an excellent option for those who are homebound or have responsibilities that prevent them from attending in person.

With an in-person group, you can still choose your level of involvement, but you also have the option to go deeper. For instance, a few people may want to grab coffee or dinner after a group session. Plus, if you feel a connection to someone’s story, you have the option to catch them after class for a one-on-one conversation. That’s not easily possible with online groups.

Simply weigh the pros and cons. Evaluate your personal circumstances. Then, choose what works best for you.

What if a Grief Support Group Isn’t Right for Me?

While grief support groups help thousands of people every year, it’s not the best fit for everyone, and that’s okay. If you are feeling overwhelmed, discouraged, out of place, or unwanted, try going to one-on-one grief counseling first. After you have a better grip on your own grief, you can then transition to a grief support group your counselor recommends.

Now that you understand the many benefits of grief support groups, it’s time to decide whether or not to visit groups in your area. Contact your local funeral home, a church, a local grief counselor’s office, or go online to familiarize yourself with the grief resources available locally. Then, choose one that best fits your age, location, or type of loss and find the supportive encouragement you need for the grief journey ahead.

Mar 23

Love0

Sympathy Gifts You Can Mail

By christy.kessler Grief/Loss, Helping a Friend in Grief

If someone you know has recently suffered the loss of a loved one, it’s natural to want to offer comfort and support. In fact, it’s a good thing. It shows that you’re thinking of them and understand they are going through something hard right now. But what if you’re too far away to offer in-person support? You can still let them know you care by sending sympathy gifts through the mail!

Today, let’s talk about some gift options you can easily send through the mail to offer support and love to a grieving friend or family member. But remember – this list isn’t comprehensive! Feel free to come up with your own creative ideas.

Food Gift Basket

You may not live close enough to drop off a casserole at your friend’s home, but you can order a food basket for them. There are so many companies out there that specialize in food baskets. Whether you want to send fruit, sweets, savories, or a mix, you are sure to find a basket that fits your own expectations and budget while also matching your friend’s favorite eats.

Gift Card

Whether you want to help with meals, gas, or other household needs, you can send a gift card through the mail. Choose their favorite eatery, grocery store, or gas station. Or, if you want to give them broader options, send an Amazon or Visa/Mastercard gift card. In a similar vein, you can give them gift cards to Door Dash, GrubHub, or some other food delivery service, so they can order a meal without having to leave the house.

Weighted Blanket

After a loss, sleep can be elusive. Stress, racing thoughts, and strong emotions can keep you awake at night. However, many people praise weighted blankets for their ability to calm anxiety and fight insomnia. These blankets work through deep pressure stimulation – applying pressure over the entire body in a way that creates a sense of comfort and calm. Most are available in weights from 5 to 30 pounds, and it’s recommended to purchase a blanket that is roughly 10% of the person’s body weight.

Flowers or Seed Kits

For many years, flowers have been a staple gift to those who are grieving. They are an excellent way to bring life and beauty to a home and to let someone know you are thinking of them. Another plant gift alternative is to give a flower kit (like for roses or hydrangeas) or a memorial tree kit. Each of these gifts will allow the grieving person to watch the plant grow over time and act as a sweet reminder that their loved one is not forgotten. They can even put a little plaque near the tree or plant that says “In Memory of” to make it more special.

Grief or Self-Care Book

With this gift, you do have to be sensitive. If possible, choose a book that has helped you personally. Whether you choose a book about grief or a book on self-care, there are many options out there. And if you aren’t familiar with a book, check out online reviews or ask family and friends what books helped them through a loss. Then, with a thoughtful note, mail the book to your grieving friend.

Calming Tea & Mug Set

Sitting down at home with a hot cup of non-caffeinated tea, wrapped up in a blanket with a good book or TV show can have a truly calming effect. And after the death of a loved one, there’s so much that may cause stress, worry, doubt, and confusion. According to research, tea has a calming effect on the nervous system, helps reduce stress and anxiety, and promotes a feeling of well-being. Some of the most calming teas are chamomile, lavender, mint, rooibos, and green tea. Pair a tea with a cute or inspirational mug, and you have a caring sympathy gift you can mail.

Homemade Spa Set

If your grieving friend adores relaxing in the bath, a homemade spa set may be the perfect sympathy gift. Put together a smattering of bath bombs, aromatherapy candles, and scented Epsom salt to create the perfect self-care package. You could also include their favorite beverage or a relaxing playlist of songs. And if you just don’t know what items to select, you can also choose a spa gift set online and have it delivered right to their door.

Sympathy Gift Box

Just as there are many food gift boxes out there, many companies specialize in creating sympathy gift boxes. All you have to do is type “sympathy gift box” into your search browser and a multitude of options will pop up. Some boxes focus on food, self-care, calming or creative activities, or even humor and laughter. Simply choose a gift box that fits your grieving friend’s personality and send it to them.

Hand-drawn Portrait

While this gift will take more time, effort, and talent, it also has the potential to be deeply meaningful. If possible, find an image online of the person who has died and then hand-draw or paint a portrait of them. Choose whatever size or medium you prefer and go to work creating something truly unique. When your grieving friend opens the package, there will be tears, of course, but there will also be sweet memories that bring comfort and healing.

Stuffed Animal

For some adults and definitely grieving children, a stuffed animal brings a smile. Many people have an affinity to a certain type of animal, which makes it the perfect sympathy gift. Some love teddy bears, unicorns, cats, bunnies, or red pandas – simply go to the store or online and find the stuffed toy that makes the most sense. Then, when feelings of grief come, your friend can look at the animal, give it a hug, and remember that you care.

Special Photo & Frame

Sometimes the simple things can mean the most. By purchasing a personalized frame and pairing it with a sweet photo, you can create an impactful gift. Choose a photo you know the grieving person loves or send them a photo they may not have. Include yourself in the photo, when possible, but keep the focus on your friend and their lost loved one. Add your own special touch with a handwritten note of love and support.

Themed Gift Box

While you can certainly find themed gift boxes online, you can easily create your own. Let’s say your grieving friend loves pineapples. Go to the store or online and find all the pineapple things you can. Pineapple hand towels, soaps, dried fruit, stuffed toy, flavored tea, mug, bathrobe, whatever. Then put everything in a box with pineapple tissue paper and card. When your friend receives it, they will find comfort in the time you took to create the perfect package, tailored to them.

No matter what sympathy gift you choose to mail, the key is to find something that’s personal, practical, and comforting. Think about what your grieving friend likes and choose something that will benefit them most. If you don’t know them well, choose something that would comfort you personally. They will still feel the sentiment and know that you care about what they’re going through.

Mar 10

Love0

Understanding Half-Couch versus Full-Couch Caskets

By christy.kessler Cemeteries, Explore Options, Plan Ahead, Planning Tools

After losing a loved one, a viewing or visitation can be a sweet moment of remembrance and an opportunity to say a final goodbye in person. As you put together this meaningful event, one thing you will need to decide is whether to use a full-couch or a half-couch casket. But what’s the difference between them? Let’s talk about it.

What is a Half-Couch Casket?

If you live in the United States, you are likely most familiar with a half-couch casket. This means that there’s a seam in the middle of the casket, which splits the lid into two different pieces. This design element allows you to open just the top or the bottom of the casket. At many viewings, the head section is open, so that mourners can see the face and torso of the person who has died. The lower half of the body remains covered by the bottom section of the lid.

What is a Full-Couch Casket?

While less common, full-couch caskets are also used across the United States. For example, singer James Brown was laid to rest in a full-couch casket after a viewing open to the public. The only difference from a half-couch casket is that the lid is one solid piece. When you open the casket, you see the entire body, though often the legs are covered with a blanket of some sort.

Does It Matter Which I Choose?

Ultimately, it’s up to your personal preference.

Both options:

Will facilitate an open- or closed-casket viewing or visitation
Are appropriate for burial in a cemetery
Are available in a variety of styles and materials

In some areas of the country, one type may be more popular than the other, but again, it boils down to preference. For closed-casket services, the full-couch offers a more “complete” look (no middle seam), which is important to some. However, since the lid completely closes on both types, either could be chosen for a closed-casket event.

If you’re on the fence and just aren’t sure which to choose, speak with a funeral professional about their experience helping other families. They can give you an insider’s view on the pros and cons of each type.

Are There Any Specific Benefits to Each Type?

While the main difference is the lid, there are subtle benefits to each type you may want to consider.

Half-Couch

Brings the focus to the deceased person’s face
Some caskets cost less because the foot portion is less detailed (it won’t be seen)
With a particularly tall person, the half-couch style can disguise the need to bend the knees to fit the body into the casket (oversized caskets are more expensive)

Full-Couch

Allows full view of the deceased’s body, which may be important for the family
May meet religious needs or cultural norms for your area
Commonly used when there is no viewing

As you can see, the only strong factor to pull you to one casket or the other is whether you have specific regional, cultural, or religious needs. Otherwise, you can select either option and get everything you need.

Does the Casket Type Affect Personalization Options?

In general, you can decorate and personalize however you want with both types. With flowers, the spray can either lay across the middle with a full-couch or on the lower portion of the half-couch (when the lid is open). For veterans, the U.S. flag will be placed in a slightly different location depending on whether you select full-couch or half-couch. Any other items you want to place on or around the casket can be arranged with the funeral professionals assisting you.

What About Cost?

All caskets – full-couch and half-couch – are available in a variety of styles and materials. This means that there’s going to be a range of prices. As an extreme example, if you get a gold-plated casket, it’s going to be expensive whether you choose full-couch or half-couch. If cost is a determining factor for you, then use that to guide whether you choose full- or half-couch. There are affordable options with both types, so you will be able to find something that meets your budget.

Hopefully, you now have a better understanding of the differences between full-couch and half-couch caskets. If you’d like to know more about wood, steel, and eco-friendly caskets, take a minute to read “How to Select a Casket.”

Feb 21

Love0

Three friends celebrating as they summit a mountain after a hike together

Do You Have a Bucket List? Here’s Why You Should

By christy.kessler Living Well

We all have things we want to accomplish before we die, but with all the demands in life, it’s hard to find the time (and resources) to do them all. But in many ways, it’s important to have a bucket list because it’s so hard to find the time. Rather than spend our days on things we aren’t passionate about, a bucket list can help us focus in on the things that matter. Today, let’s talk about why bucket lists are important and how you can put achievable goals on your list!

pen with red notebook with the words bucket list in the upper left corner

Quick note before we begin: think of a bucket list and a wish list as two different things. A bucket list should be filled with dreams but dreams you can actively work toward achieving. A wish list can include all the other fantastical and amazing things that would be incredible, but you don’t want to put specific effort into accomplishing.

Why Should I Create a Bucket List?

As you consider what to put on your list, here are several reasons why a bucket list can be helpful:

1. A bucket list can provide purpose

Having hopes, dreams, and goals can give you purpose, focus, and direction in your life. By choosing to pursue a particular gift, talent, or dream, you can make choices that push you ever closer to accomplishing things you didn’t think possible.

2. A bucket list can ignite your creativity

When you’re focused on accomplishing something, you come up with all kinds of ways to make it happen. Whether it means taking classes, learning a new painting technique, or improving your rock climbing strength, you can push your creativity (and your inspiration) to new heights.

3. A bucket list can create meaningful memories

No matter how long it takes you to accomplish each item on your bucket list, you’re going to make memories along the way. You will learn and grow, becoming a different and better person through the process.

4. A bucket list can help you enjoy life

Have you ever noticed that when you’re working toward a goal or finishing a project, it makes you happy? A bucket list can do the same! If you really embrace the practice, it can give you an added zest for life as you work toward achieving your dreams!

If you’ve decided that you definitely want to write out your very own bucket list, it’s important to make sure that your goals are achievable. But how do you do that? Let’s talk about it.

How Do I Set Achievable Goals?

The first step is to write down the things you’d like to add to your bucket list. Then, for each entry, you will need to set sub-goals. These sub-goals will help you accomplish each bucket list item. But how can you be smart about setting these goals? Use the S.M.A.R.T. method!

The S.M.A.R.T. goal-setting concept originated in 1981, and because it’s so effective, it’s still a much-used practice today. Basically, any goals you set (i.e., any items on your bucket list) should be Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound (S.M.A.R.T.).

Let’s say that one of your goals is to visit Washington, D.C. someday. Using that example, let’s talk through each section of the S.M.A.R.T. goal method.

Specific

When you write an entry on your bucket list, don’t be vague. For example, a vague goal would say, “I want to see museums in Washington, D.C.” A specific goal would be “I want to see the Hope Diamond at the National Museum of Natural History in Washington, D.C.” When you add specificity, you make the goal easier to track and measure, which keeps you accountable and helps you achieve.

Measurable

When you add a goal to your bucket list, you should be able to track your progress. You’re going to need to pay for that Washington, D.C. trip. Rather than put “Pay for Washington, D.C.” on your list, say “Save $7,000 for my once-in-a-lifetime trip to Washington, D.C.” Now, you can better measure how close you are to actually achieving your goal of visiting the city.

Achievable

When you set a goal, it should be something that’s possible for you to accomplish with your own tools and resources. For example, when you’re in Washington, D.C., you might want to say, “Talk to the President of the United States.” But how likely is that to happen? Do you have the right resources or know the right people to make that happen? If you do, put it on the list! If you don’t, move on to something more achievable.

Relevant

Your goals should be relevant to your overall objective. In this example, your overall objective is to visit Washington, D.C. A non-relevant goal would be “Try out a new haircut.” While you may want to sport that new haircut while you’re in D.C., it’s not relevant to actually getting there and achieving your bucket list item.

Time-bound

Lastly, it’s useful to have a timeframe. If you just say, “I want to visit Washington, D.C. in my lifetime,” it may never happen. However, if you decide that you want to see cherry blossom season at the National Mall, you can say, “I will visit Washington, D.C., in April two years from now.” Then, you can start planning and saving with a deadline in mind.

Pro Tip: Don’t try to do everything at once.

Depending on what’s on your bucket list, you may only work on a handful of goals at a time. For example, it’s hard to save for a trip to Washington, D.C., while also saving for a trip to Italy. But, you could be saving toward a trip to Washington, D.C., while also teaching yourself to knit, learning how to polka, or trying out pink highlights in your hair.

Often, we think of a bucket list as consisting of things that are almost unachievable. But today, we’re challenging that mindset! Choose the things that matter to you and work toward achieving them with smart goals and intentional steps. A beautiful, meaningful, and purposeful life doesn’t come with a specific blueprint – you have to figure out what yours looks like, and it will be unique to you!

Feb 14

Love0

Older man sitting on couch with laptop sitting on coffee table in front of him, thinking and writing on pad of paper

6 Ways You Can Save Money with Funeral Preplanning & Prefunding

By christy.kessler Explore Options, Plan Ahead, Planning Tools

A recent survey revealed that while more than 50% of participants said they were likely to preplan their own funeral, only 7% of had actually done it. Many people understand that preplanning their funeral is a good idea, yet they are unsure of the steps to take and if they can afford it. However, preplanning and prefunding your funeral wishes can actually help you save money in the long run. This article will discuss 6 reasons why preplanning your funeral is a wise financial decision.

Older man sitting on couch with laptop sitting on coffee table in front of him, thinking and writing on pad of paper

First, why should you consider preplanning and prefunding a funeral?

Think about it. If you were to die suddenly and unexpectedly, what would your family have to do? They probably don’t know your wishes, so they will be worried about what to do. They may not have the funds to pay for a funeral out of pocket, so they will be worried about finances. On top of that, they will likely be in shock and a cloud of grief, making it hard to make decisions. Funeral preplanning takes care of all of these worries and fears by documenting your wishes, and just about every funeral home offers this service for free! With your wishes in writing, your family will know what you want so they can make decisions with confidence and certainty.

Then, if you take the next step and prefund your funeral plan, you are protecting your family financially by taking care of the cost of a funeral ahead of time. This relieves your family of the financial burden that comes with a loss. So, with a plan in place for both your wishes and finances, you remove most of the burdens that usually fall on loved ones during a time of loss. All they need to do is gather together, comfort one another, and mourn. For more information on why funeral preplanning is a great idea, take a moment to read 10 Reasons to Plan Ahead.

Young man wearing a gray sweater who is counting dollar bills

6 Ways You can Save Money with Funeral Preplanning & Prefunding

Now that you understand what funeral preplanning and prefunding is and why it matters, let’s talk about the ways that it can help your family save money – both now and in the future.

1. You Can Protect Your Funeral Funds Against Inflation

Inflation is one of those facts of life. Simply put, prices always tend to go up, and that includes the cost of a funeral. However, when you prefund with a funeral insurance policy, the policy is specifically set up to grow over time so it can offset the effects of inflation. This means that the earlier you prefund your funeral plan the better because prefunding protects your purchasing power over time, and that’s a big plus!

2. You Can Pay Over Time in Installments

Another big perk to prefunding with a funeral insurance policy is that it makes a funeral much more affordable. Instead of having to pay for everything all at once, you can set up monthly payments that fit into your budget. That can be especially important to those living on a fixed income. Plus, once the policy is paid in full, it’s paid off! You don’t have to make any further payments, which isn’t true of life insurance policies or final expense policies.

Man sitting at coffee table with calculator, adding up the cost

3. You May Be Able to Lock in Today’s Pricing

In some states, when you plan ahead, funeral homes offer a guarantee that “locks in” their pricing at today’s prices. That means that even if your funeral is 20 years from now, your family won’t have to pay the difference on rising funeral and merchandise costs. This can be a huge benefit, especially when we don’t know what the economy (or the price of a casket) will look like in 20 years. This benefit isn’t available at every funeral home or in every state, so be sure to contact your funeral home to check into the specifics or to find out what other affordable options they provide.

4. You Can Preserve Assets through Medicaid Qualification

Do you think you will need to qualify for long-term care assistance through Medicaid at some point? Then prefunding can help you preserve assets for your family. With Medicaid, you can’t qualify until you have depleted your savings (often to around $2,000). Let’s say you have $50,000 in savings. You will be expected to spend $48,000 on your own long-term care before Medicaid will kick in. However, a properly structured prepaid funeral plan is one of only a handful of ways you can preserve assets for your family!

In other words, you can use some or all of that $48,000 to pay for your own funeral wishes, and in many states, you can pay for funeral items for a spouse, child, and even siblings or parents. This way, your $48,000 will benefit your family and not go toward paying nursing home costs! To learn more about this way to save money, go to Medicaid Qualification Rules and How to Spend Down with a Burial Plan.

shows stethoscope with a small chalkboard that says Medicaid

5. You Can Save Life Insurance Proceeds for Your Family

Roughly 40% of people choose to use life insurance funds to pay for a funeral at the time of loss. But did you know that there are actually some drawbacks to this plan?

Life insurance claims take 6-8 weeks to process. Your family will likely pay out-of-pocket expenses until the claim is paid.
If life insurance funds are used to cover funeral expenses, there may not be much left over for other expenses that life insurance was intended to cover (living expenses, lost income, medical bills, credit cards, other debts, etc.)
Over time, as prices go up, your purchasing power goes down, meaning your family will pay more for the funeral if it’s not prefunded.

On the other hand, if you prefund with a funeral insurance policy, the funds will be available right away and none of your life insurance proceeds will be depleted for funeral costs. That puts more money in your survivors’ hands and relieves the financial stress that comes after a death.

Shows carefree multi-generational family walking outside together and having fun

6. You Can Remove Financial Burdens from Your Family

By preplanning and prefunding ahead of time, you give your surviving loved ones a loving gift and protect them during a time of loss. Here’s how:

Keeps them from overspending

During times of grief, judgment can become clouded, and it’s hard to make decisions. In addition to walking around in this grief-induced mental fog, if your family has no idea what kind of funeral you want, they may opt for choosing “only the best.” That means they may spend a lot more money than you would have wanted them to spend. You can protect them from overspending by recording your funeral wishes in advance.

Keeps them from scrambling to pay for a funeral

Having no plan in place is a plan…but it leaves your family in a tough spot. It means they are left scrambling and worrying about how to come up with funeral funds in a hurry. They may have to take out a loan, use a credit card, or launch a GoFundMe campaign. This leaves them with a financial burden that they may not be prepared to carry. By preplanning and prefunding ahead of time, you can remove that burden from them entirely!

Father, son, and grandson sitting on a couch, looking at a laptop together while smiling

So, What’s Next?

Now that you know how you can save with funeral preplanning and prefunding, it’s time to take the next step. You can start by contacting a reputable funeral home in your area. They will listen to your thoughts and ideas and help you create a funeral plan that meets your needs and fits comfortably into your budget.

If you’d like to learn more about funeral preplanning, here are some helpful resources:

What is Advance Funeral Planning?

What to Expect at a Preplanning Appointment

10 Reasons to Plan Ahead

9 Preplanning Mistakes to Avoid

10 Questions to Ask Before You Prepay Your Funeral

3 Funeral Insurance Options You Should Know About

Feb 06

Love0

Shows decorated Easter basket with candy, homemade bunny, and stuffed animal

6 Ways to Honor a Loved One’s Memory at Easter

By christy.kessler Grief/Loss, Seasonal

While holiday grief is often more closely associated with Thanksgiving or Christmas, any holiday can stir up feelings of loss and sadness. If you are missing a lost loved one this Easter, consider taking comfort in honoring their life through meaningful actions. When we take those internal feelings of grief and outwardly express them through mourning actions, something almost unexplainable happens. Somehow, peace comes. The heart aches less. The person you’re missing seems closer than they did before. So, to help you pinpoint the best way to honor your loved one’s memory this Easter, let’s brainstorm options.

Order a Bouquet of Easter Lilies

Perhaps you’ve heard that flowers have meaning, and the lily is no different. It represents purity, sympathy, innocence, peace, and hope. Traditionally, the lily is closely linked to both Easter and funerals. The connection lies in the belief that there is new life and rebirth after death, much like the hope that comes with Jesus Christ’s resurrection. To honor your loved one, consider ordering a bouquet of Easter lilies to display in your home, donate to a local church, or place at your loved one’s final resting place.

Honor Your Loved One in Your Easter Baskets

If your family celebrates with Easter baskets, you can theme the basket after your loved one. For example, use “grass” or tissue paper in their favorite color. Include their favorite candy or chocolate bar with a note that says “Love, <name>.” Include a photo, poem, or work of art that has special meaning. Depending on what you want to do, you could even put together a basket specifically for the person who has died. This might be particularly helpful when a child or young sibling has died. It allows that lost family member to be included in the festivities and keeps their memory alive.

Create a Memory Basket

Though similar to a themed Easter basket, a memory basket is a bit different. To create one, you should set up an area in your home with a basket and empty plastic Easter eggs. Add pens and little strips of paper. Then, in the days leading up to Easter, encourage family members (and friends) to write down a special memory and place it in an egg. Then, on Easter, you can read the memories aloud together or each person can find their egg and keep it as a remembrance token. There’s flexibility with how you set things up, but the main idea is to recall and share sweet memories.

Attend an Easter Service

If you are a person of faith, attending an Easter service can bring great comfort and a reminder that life doesn’t end with death. Spirituality and faith sustain millions of people around the world as they process loss and grief. That’s why attending a service can be the perfect activity when you are missing a loved one at Easter. You can light a candle of remembrance, speak your loved one’s name aloud, read a litany, say a prayer. All of these symbolic actions can bring peace and hope. Plus, if attending a service is something that would make your loved one smile, you can do it for them!

Take an Easter Family Photo

Many families take a family photo at Easter, and it can create a sweet remembrance keepsake. When you take the photo, include something that reminds you of your loved one. For example, wear a clothing item they gave you, hold a framed portrait of them in the picture, grab their favorite thing (quilt, stuffed animal, book, etc.) to include. Just because your loved one is no longer physically present doesn’t mean that you can’t include them in the special moments of your life. After all, their influence and impact doesn’t end with death – that will live on in you!

Keep Family Traditions Going

If you ask different families what their Easter traditions are, you’re going to get different answers. To honor your loved one, choose one of their Easter traditions and start doing it with your family. Maybe that’s an elaborate Easter egg hunt or only filling the eggs with Hershey kisses. Perhaps it means roasting Peeps over the fire, baking a bunny cake, or watching the Irving Berlin movie Easter Parade. Whatever it looks like, you can add a special tradition to your holiday that will bring a smile to your face and joy to your heart.

There are, of course, many ways to remember a loved one on Easter, so feel free to be creative. While the grief you feel may not entirely go away, doing something to honor them can turn your mourning into dancing.

Jan 31

Love0

What Should I Say to Someone Who is Grieving?

By christy.kessler AfterCare, Grief/Loss, Helping a Friend in Grief

Let’s be honest, it’s hard to know what to say to someone who is grieving. It’s not because they are difficult to talk to or that you’re a poor conversationalist. Most of the time, our discomfort boils down to the fact that we don’t deal with death on a daily basis (and therefore, don’t have much experience with how to talk about it), and we don’t want to say the wrong thing. That’s why it can be helpful to have a plan in place when you know you’re going to offer condolences for a recent loss. To help you prepare in advance, let’s review some helpful tips and useful phrases.

Tip #1: Acknowledge their loss

Perhaps one of the most straightforward yet necessary things you can do is acknowledge their loss. They have experienced something truly heart-wrenching, and your simple acknowledgement and sympathy can go a long way.

You can choose a phrase that feels natural to you, but a few options are:

“I’m so sorry for your loss.”
“I heard about your dad. I’m so sorry.”
“I can’t imagine how hard this must be. I’m so sorry.”
“I was so sorry to hear about your loved one.”

Tip #2: Share a memory

If you had a personal connection to the person who has died, it can be sweet and meaningful to share a memory. One of the ways that we work through feelings of grief is by reminiscing about the memorable moments. Oftentimes, the grieving person may share the same story more than once, and that’s okay. It’s needed and necessary. So, sharing a story of your own, when possible, can be a perfect addition to your condolences.

A word of caution: if the grieving person seems very fragile, ask permission before sharing a story. Also, only share positive memories in your condolences. While it is important to work through any negative feelings, wait for an appropriate time. Your condolence is not the time.

Here are a few suggested phrases:

“I remember your mom’s sense of humor. She always had us laughing.”
“My favorite memory of your sister was when…”
“Would it be okay if I shared a few stories with you? Things that I remember about your grandmother?”

Tip #3: Give them the opportunity to talk

If you don’t have a story to share or don’t feel comfortable doing so, you could instead provide a chance to talk. As mentioned, talking about the person who has died is a necessary part of the grieving process. Be a safe person to share with and engage in active listening.

A word to the wise: Don’t offer advice or compare their experience to your own grief experiences. You may have gone through a similar loss, but you aren’t necessarily feeling the same things. Every person grieves differently, so instead, simply listen, comfort, and be present. If they ask about your experience, then feel free to share.

A few useful phrases you could use are:

“This must be so hard. Would you like to talk about it?”
“I’m here to listen if you want to talk. I’d love to hear about your loved one.”
“When I lost my mom, it helped to talk about her. I’m here to listen if you want to talk.”
“I’m here for you.”

Tip #4: Validate their feelings

Most people try to keep their emotions under control in public settings. However, you can show extra kindness by validating, normalizing, and recognizing their feelings. Grief is hard, and really, we need to let out the emotions welling up inside. Once again, be a safe person. Don’t try to “fix it” because you can’t. Instead, offer a nonjudgmental space. Let them express what’s going on inside. Be compassionate, caring, and gracious.

What does this look like in words? Here are a few thoughts:

“Whatever you’re feeling is okay. This is hard.”
“You don’t have to keep it together around me. It’s okay not to be okay.”
“I don’t know what you’re feeling, but I’m here to listen if you want to share.”
“I wish I could make things better.”
“I wish I had the right words to say, but please know I’m here for you.”

Tip #5: Stay away from cliches or platitudes

One thing to remember as you offer condolences is to stay away from cliches or platitudes. They are rarely helpful, and often, they feel hollow and impersonal. In some cases, they may even be harmful. For instance, saying “Everything happens for a reason” is intended to be comforting, but really, what possible reason could there be for this person’s death? Especially if it’s a sudden or unexpected death or someone who is still young.

Here are some phrases to STAY AWAY from:

“Everything happens for a reason.”
“Look at what you have to be thankful for.”
“It’s part of God’s plan.”
“He’s in a better place now.”
“At least…” (…you can get married again, you had time together, you can have more children)
“This is behind you now. It’s time to get on with your life.”

Tip #6: Take supportive action

Following a loss, it can be hard to keep up with the everyday things. Grief takes a lot of time and emotional headspace. In fact, it’s not uncommon to forget things when you’re grieving. That’s why it can be kind to offer practical help. But don’t leave the responsibility on the grieving person. In other words, don’t say, “Call me if you need anything.” Instead, say, “I’m going to drop off a casserole for you on Tuesday. What time should I drop it off?”

Here are some ways you can provide practical help to someone who is grieving:

Shop for groceries or run errands
Mow the lawn
Drop off a casserole
Help with insurance forms or bills
Take care of housework, such as cleaning or laundry or taking out the trash
Watch their children or pick them up from school
Look after their pets
Go with them to a support group meeting
Accompany them on a walk
Take them to lunch or a movie
Share an enjoyable activity (sport, game, puzzle, art project)

Sometimes, just being a friend is exactly what they need and doing normal activities together can make things comfortable for both of you.

Tip #7: Give them a hug

Physical touch is powerful, and often, it says more than words. The grieving person may not feel like talking, and that’s okay. Instead, offer eye contact and a sympathetic expression. Squeeze their hand or shoulder. If you’re family or a friend, give them a hug. If tears come, let them come. Don’t let the tears bother you. Don’t try to stop them or make a joke to lighten the moment. Sometimes, it’s best to just sit and be and let the emotions come. And if you are willing to sit and be present with them, that’s a gift.

Tip #8: Check in

Even after you’ve offered your initial condolences, consider taking it a step further. People in grief need support for months and sometimes years following the loss. To let them know you care, you can send a thoughtful gift. Reach out on special dates, like birthdays and anniversaries. Offer childcare or a lunch date. Text or call to ask how they are and if there’s anything you can do to help. Write a card or invite them to a day at the spa or the golf club. There are many ways you can support them in the days and months following a loss. Just make sure to follow through and let them know you’re available.

Before we go, remember – no matter what you say – it doesn’t have to be perfect to be supportive. You don’t need to take their pain away – that’s impossible. If they don’t open up right away, don’t force it, but also, don’t steer the conversation away from the death. Let things happen naturally. The grieving person simply needs you to show that you care and that you love them, no matter what they are working through.

For most suggestions on how to support a grieving friend or loved one, read:

10 Caring and Creative Sympathy Gifts

8 Simple Tips for Writing a Meaningful Condolence Letter

6 Things You Should Never Say to a Grieving Person

6 MORE Things You Should Never Say to a Grieving Person

7 Tips for Helping a Grieving Friend

Jan 25

Love0

Mature couple sitting down with funeral professional to discuss insurance payment options

3 Funeral Insurance Options You Should Know About

By christy.kessler Explore Options, Plan Ahead

If you’re reading this, then you understand how important it is to prepare for the future. You know that taking out an insurance policy to cover the cost of a funeral is the loving thing to do. The question now is, “Which funeral insurance option is the best for your situation and needs?” Today, we’re going to discuss the three main types of funeral insurance: 1) prepaid funeral plan, 2) life insurance policy, and 3) final expense plan. By looking at each one in-depth, you can determine which is right for you.

A Brief Overview

Before we look at each option more closely, here’s a quick breakdown of the benefits of each option.

Option #1 – Prepaid Funeral Plan

As you can see, the prepaid funeral plan (or prepaid funeral insurance policy) is the frontrunner. Because the policy amount is based on your funeral preferences, you will sit down with a trusted funeral professional to record your wishes. By doing so, you not only communicate your preferences to your family, but you also have the ability to better control the overall cost.

Generally, a prepaid funeral insurance policy is easy to qualify for. You must answer a few basic medical questions, but even if you are in poor health, graded benefit options may be available.

Once you have recorded your preferences, the funeral professional will draw up an itemized list to give you an exact cost. If you approve, you can either pay for the policy in full or set up a payment plan. The premiums for a fully insured policy include the cost of the funeral plus insurance coverage that ensures that even if you die before the prepaid funeral plan is paid up, the full cost of your funeral will be covered from day 1. From that point, you will only pay premiums until your policy is paid in full or until death occurs. And if you move, your policy goes with you.

Here are a few additional benefits to consider.

Prepaid funeral insurance policies are set up to grow over time, protecting your funeral funds against inflation.
Some funeral providers offer guarantees on their prices, effectively locking in the cost of the funeral when the plan is set up.
A properly structured prepaid funeral plan can be considered an exempt asset for Medicaid, if needed.

If you’d like to learn more about recording your wishes, please read “What to Expect at a Preplanning Appointment.”

Option #2 – Life Insurance Policy

Next, let’s take a look at life insurance policies. It is very common to use life insurance funds to pay for funeral expenses. However, it’s important to realize that life insurance funds are often not available immediately. Sometimes, it can take up to 8 weeks to receive funds – long after the funeral is complete.

If the funeral home you partner with works with a life insurance assignment company, they may be able to help you access your funds more quickly. That said, if you do plan to use a life insurance policy and want your family to have quicker access, make sure to choose a funeral home that offers this service.

A few more things to note if you plan to use a life insurance policy for funeral needs.

Make sure that you apply for a life insurance policy well in advance. The older you are, the harder it is to qualify and the higher your monthly payments. If you are in poor health, coverage may be limited or not available at all.
Life insurance funds don’t accrue interest, so as inflation rises, your purchasing power decreases.
Make sure to take out a large enough policy to cover everything your family may need. For example, a prepaid funeral plan is solely intended to pay for funeral expenses. However, a life insurance policy is meant to help with other things. For example, paying off debt, replacing an income, or paying for childcare when a surviving spouse goes back to work. If your policy amount isn’t high enough, your family may not have as much financial support after your death as you intended.

If you’d like more information about using a life insurance policy to pay for a funeral, you can speak with a trusted funeral professional or click here.

Option #3 – Final Expense Plan

Finally, let’s take a look at final expense plans. This type of plan focuses on setting aside funds for funeral expenses or outstanding bills after death. Of the three insurance options, final expense plans are the easiest to qualify for.

However, there are a few things to note before you choose this option.

Final expense plans offer lower coverage (often not more than $35K). If you have medical bills or significant debt, this option may not go far in helping your family.
The older you are when you sign up, the higher your monthly premiums. For senior adults on a fixed income, it may be difficult to pay the premiums.
There’s no end date to payments; they will continue until death.
Like a life insurance policy, a final expense plan does not account for inflation.

If you’d like more information about final expense plans, click here or stop by a local funeral home you trust. They can give you a sense of how using a final expense plan has worked for other families.

Consider the Pros and Cons of Each Insurance Option

No matter which you choose, there are going to be risks and benefits. Consider your personal situation and then choose the one that best meets your needs. In fact, if you aren’t sure if you’d qualify for your first choice, go speak with a professional. They can give you the details, and you may be surprised at what you qualify for!

Jan 23

Love0

shows memorial benches along the middle of a inlet walkway with lighthouse are end of wharf

9 Outdoor Memorial Ideas to Honor a Loved One

By christy.kessler Explore Options, Grief/Loss, Memorial

When you’re grieving the death of a loved one, it helps to find just the right way to honor their life. Sometimes that may mean painting a portrait, creating a scholarship fund, or writing down the story of your life together. Other times, when the person particularly enjoyed the sun and fresh air, it might mean creating an outdoor memorial.

To help you think through all the possibilities, here are 9 ways you could honor your loved one’s life outdoors.

1. Personalized Headstone

First, let’s look at a traditional option – a personalized headstone or grave marker. Whether it’s a burial plot or a cremation niche, you can customize a headstone or plaque that is meaningful. Include a sweet sentiment. Choose a unique color or shape. Add a photo or special image. There really are a lot of custom options available to you, if you’d like to honor your loved one’s life in this way. For more information on how you can create a one-of-a-kind headstone, read 6 Ways to Personalize a Memorial Marker or Gravestone Recipes: Adding a Sweet Touch to a Memorial Marker.

2. Bench with Memorial Message

Whether it’s at a cemetery, a favorite park, or even in the middle of downtown, you’ve likely seen memorial benches. Often built of wood or metal, the bench stands in a picturesque or meaningful location and includes a message. The message could be anything you want. Forever loved. In loving memory of <person’s name>. For <person’s name>, impractically perfect in every way. You could also choose a special quote or add a few details about the person. With metal benches, you can even include cutout shapes and various colors to make the bench even more unique.

3. Remembrance Tree

If you prefer a completely natural option, you can plant a remembrance tree. While it’s certainly not required, you can also bury a loved one’s ashes with the tree. There are biodegradable urns specifically intended for this purpose. In the top section, seeds and soil mix together, and the ashes rest in a lower section. First, the seeds grow in the soil, and once they reach a certain level of growth, the roots spread down to the ashes, and everything mingles together. With this option, you have grown a tree that supports the environment, but also created a lasting memorial for someone you love.

4. Memorial Flag

Whether you want a smaller garden flag or a full-sized flag, you can order a custom flag to honor your loved one’s life. Add a favorite photo. Use their favorite color. Choose a flag with a special image, like hearts, flowers, teddy bears, bees. Whatever makes it personal. Then, display it whenever you want. You may want to leave it out all year, or you could put it out on the person’s birthday or the anniversary of their death. There’s no right or wrong way. Simply do what feels right and helps you honor their life.

5. Garden Stone

You don’t need a garden to use an outdoor garden stone to honor a loved one’s life. You can either add a personalized plaque to a larger rock, or you can paint a smaller rock. Then, you can place the stone outside your home in a place that makes the most sense for you. That might be in your yard, on your patio, or lined against the walkway to your front door. This option is very versatile, and if you move or want to change things up, you can easily transport the stone to a new location.

6. Bird Feeder

If birds are special to you or your loved one, then a memorial bird feeder may be just the right thing. You can choose one that appeals to you and add personalized elements, such as a loved one’s name or photo. You can choose the color or design based on their favorite feathered friend, such as red for the cardinal or rust orange for the robin. Then, select the best tree in your yard for its home. Every time you see a bird visiting the feeder, it’s like your loved one is enjoying it, too.

7. Wind Chime

If you don’t have a large outdoor space, a wind chime doesn’t require much room and holds its own charm. Select a wind chime that feels like the perfect match for your needs and then find a space to hang it up. You can even add customized touches, like a specific color or engraving. Once its in place, the chime’s windswept tones will become a sweet reminder. Some days, it may even feel as if your loved one has stopped by to say hello.

8. Memorial Cross

All of us have passed memorial crosses on the side of the road, marking the place where someone loved lost their life. For those who are lost tragically, a memorial cross can bring a sense of comfort to family and friends. It provides a place to mourn, but it also brings attention. Other people – even strangers – will pass by and think kindly of your loved one. Who were they? What were they like? And in a small way, your loved one’s memory lives on and serves as a reminder to value life and to live well.

9. Sculpture

Finally, while this option is not for everyone, it may feel right and appropriate for your circumstances. With this form of outdoor memorial, there really are no creative boundaries. Though the most famous memorial sculptures are often associated with historical figures or key historical events, it doesn’t have to be that way. You can commission something small for your own backyard or for a local organization your loved one supported. In fact, many organizations have a memorial wall where beloved contributors are honored and remembered.

Please remember, these ideas only scratch the surface. There are so many ways that you can honor a loved one with an outdoor memorial, so let your imagination loose. And as you consider the best way to honor your loved one’s life, you will find that the process is helping you work through your feelings on the journey to healing and reconciliation.

Jan 09

Love0

Image of the Hadrian Mausoleum, also called Castel Sant'Angelo

10 Famous & Inspiring Tombs Around the World

By christy.kessler Cemeteries, History of Funerals, Memorial

While the practical purpose of a tomb is to protect the dead, there are examples around the world that prove a tomb can be so much more than that. In some cases, tombs are a testament to human ingenuity, a beautiful declaration of love, a site for reflection and faith, or a place of reverence and remembrance. Today, let’s look at 10 famous tombs around the world and reflect together on the impact a single life can have and how long memories can last.

#1 – The Pyramids at Giza (Cairo, Egypt)

More than likely, you’ve heard of the Pyramids at Giza, but did you know that they were built as tombs for Pharaohs Khufu (father), Khafre (son), and Menkaure (grandson)? Long considered a wonder of the Ancient World, the pyramids not only housed the mummified bodies of the pharaohs but also any worldly goods the Ancient Egyptians considered helpful for the afterlife. It took an estimated 20,000 workers more than 20 years to construct the largest of the three pyramids. To this day, scholars still aren’t quite sure how the pyramids were constructed. Regardless, the three pyramids stood as the tallest man-made structures for more than 4,000 years. That’s pretty impressive for a tomb!

#2 – The Church of the Holy Sepulchre (Jerusalem, Israel)

In many Christian circles, the Church of the Holy Sepulchre is a place of reverence. When Constantine became emperor of Rome in 306 CE, he unearthed what was thought to be Jesus Christ’s tomb. After excavating it, he then built the Church of the Holy Sepulchre around the tomb. While the building has seen its fair share of damage, various Christian communities have restored it through the centuries. Today, six different Christian communities control the church, and they each have their own designated chapel inside it. With such strong ties to Christianity, it’s no wonder this particular tomb is important to so many around the world.

#3 – Taj Mahal (Agra, India)

The Taj Mahal is perhaps the most romantic of the tombs we will discuss today. Completed in 1648, the Mughal emperor Shah Jahan built the Taj Mahal as a breathtaking final burial place for his beloved wife, Mumtaz Mahal. With extensive grounds, the complex includes a mausoleum, a garden, and a mosque. Gorgeous in its detail, the all-marble building celebrates the love story between these two historical figures. A royal historian from Shah Jahan’s time described the relationship in his records. He stated that the two were close confidantes and possessed extraordinary physical and spiritual compatibility. When Mumtaz died in childbirth (with their 14^th child!), Jahan built the Taj Mahal as an enduring tribute to her. At his death, he was laid to rest beside her, and to this day, they lay together – forever.

#4 – Mausoleum of the First Qin Emperor (Xi’an, Shaanxi province, China)

Next up is the mausoleum for the first emperor of China, Qin Shi Huang (c. 259–210 BCE), who unified China into a single political entity. He standardized scripts, weights, measures, and coins, while also improving roads and fortifications. However, perhaps what he’s most remembered for is his impressive burial complex with its famous Terracotta Army. With more than 8,000 soldiers, 130 chariots, 520 horses, and 150 cavalry horses, the Army is stunning from an archeological perspective. Every soldier has a unique facial expression, and each one has authentic clothes, weapons, and hairstyles (different from each other!). No doubt intended to protect the emperor in the afterlife, archeologists believe there are still more soldiers, horses, and chariots to uncover in the years to come.

#5 – Tomb of Jahangir (near Lahore, Pakistan)

Colorful and intricately tiled inside and out, the Tomb of Jahangir commemorates the life of Mughal emperor Jahangir. His son, Shah Jahan (remember him from the Taj Mahal?), built the mausoleum 10 years after Jahangir’s death. At the time of his rule (1605-1627), Jahangir was popular amongst his people, though a bit infamous for marrying 12 times and indulging in alcohol. With a walled garden and 98-foot-high minarets, the impressive structure also includes two entry gates and a white marble sarcophagus covered in its own delicate mosaics. For many, the Tomb of Jahangir is considered one of the most beautiful buildings in Pakistan!

#6 – Lenin Mausoleum (Moscow, Russia)

Located in the heart of Moscow, the Lenin Mausoleum commands attention in Russia’s historic Red Square. Inside rests the mummified body of Soviet leader Vladimir Lenin. What’s perhaps most interesting (and disturbing) about Lenin’s final resting place is that his sarcophagus is made of glass and is kept at a temperature of 61 °F (16 °C) and a humidity of 80 – 90%. Why? In order to ensure that Lenin’s body remains as lifelike as possible. In fact, a team of dedicated embalmers maintain the body, and his suit is typically changed every three years. While Lenin wanted a traditional burial beside his mother, Joseph Stalin ordered the display of Lenin’s body. Today, however, many Russians believe Lenin’s wishes should be honored and his body re-interred.

#7 – Mausoleum of Hadrian (Rome, Italy)

If you’ve ever visited Rome, you’re probably familiar with the Mausoleum of Hadrian (also called Castel Sant’Angelo). Both a castle and a fortress, the mausoleum houses the remains of many Roman emperors, including Hadrian, Marcus Aurelius, and most emperors from the High Empire. Built as a burial place for Hadrian and his family, the castle was once the tallest building in Rome! Situated on the Tiber River, Castel Sant’Angelo is made of brick and stone with a majestic statue of the Archangel Michael at its peak. Today, it stands as a remarkable addition to Rome’s collection of ancient and historic buildings.

#8 – The Pantheon (Paris, France)

Much like Westminster Abbey (also worthy of this list), the Paris Pantheon is both a church and a mausoleum. Commissioned by King Louis XV, its design combines the simplicity of gothic architecture with classical Greek elements. Inside, paintings depict the life of St. Genevieve (the patron saint of Paris) and the history of the French monarchy. Today, the Pantheon mainly serves as a final resting place for French heroes. Those laid to rest include Voltaire, Jean-Jacques Rousseau, Victor Hugo, Pierre and Marie Curie, Louis Braille, and Alexandre Dumas. Situated atop the Montagne Sainte-Geneviève, the Pantheon is a striking addition to the Paris skyline.

#9 – Grant’s Tomb (New York City, New York, United States)

As the largest mausoleum in North America, Grant’s Tomb testifies to the gratitude people felt for the man who ended the American Civil War. As the Commanding General of the Union Army and later President of the United States, Ulysses S. Grant endeared himself to the American people. After his death, approximately 90,000 people from around the world donated over $600,000 (roughly $18.4 million in 2023 money) toward the construction of Grant’s Tomb. It was the largest public fundraising effort of the time. With mosaics depicting key events of the American Civil War, the granite and marble tomb was completed in 1897. Over a million people attended its dedication ceremony. Today, the US National Park Service maintains the memorial and ensures that it is well-preserved.

#10 – The Tomb of Agamemnon (near Argos, Mycenae, Greece)

Have you heard of the Tomb of Agamemnon (also called the Treasury of Atreus)? It’s perhaps the finest surviving example of a tholos or beehive tomb we still have from Mycenaean Greece. Built around 1250 BCE, it’s unknown whom the tomb was intended for or if it ever housed treasures. However, legend says that it was the final resting place of King Agamemnon. One of nine beehive tombs in the area, the doorway is 18 feet high (5.4 m) and tapers at the top (like a beehive). Inside, the tomb consists of two rooms, and the stonework throughout is decorated with bronze rosettes. The architectural skill and craftsmanship needed to build the tomb is impressive, and the tomb remains an important part of our historical narrative for Ancient Greece.

While such large tombs are now typically out of style, the need to honor and commemorate a loved one’s life still remains. That’s why it’s so important to consider a permanent memorial for yourself or a loved one. Whether it’s a headstone in a cemetery or a simple plaque on a cremation niche, it’s important to remember, to honor, to reflect. People matter, and we can keep their memory alive with loving physical tributes. To learn more about the value of permanent memorials, take a moment to read 5 Reasons to Establish a Permanent Memorial.