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Grief/Loss

Jul 12
Love0

10 Caring and Creative Sympathy Gifts

By Educational, Grief/Loss, Helping a Friend in Grief

When someone you know and care about loses someone they love, you may naturally want to reach out to offer your support. But what are the best ways to do that? Writing a condolence letter or attending the funeral are great options, but a sympathy gift can also communicate that you care.

While the most common sympathy gifts are flowers and memorial donations, there are so many other things you can do to walk alongside a grieving friend. Check out these 10 non-traditional ideas and see if any of these gift options inspire you.

Person looking at printed family photos

1. Share Photos the Family Doesn’t Have

If you have any photos of the person who has died, consider sharing a copy with the grieving family. New images of a lost loved one can be comforting and heartwarming and help the family tap into events that shaped their loved one’s unique life. If you have access to a lot of photos, you could even put together a thoughtful collage and send it to the family with a condolence card.

2. Put Together a Self-Care Giftbox

Grief can take a toll on the body, both physically and emotionally. Because grief can be so exhausting, self-care becomes even more important. Dr. Alan Wolfelt, respected grief expert and counselor, says, “Good self-care is important [when you’re grieving]. The ‘lethargy of grief’ you are probably experiencing is a natural mechanism intended to slow you down and encourage you to care for your body.” To encourage your grieving friend to consider their own needs, consider putting together a care package filled with bubble bath, moisturizing lotion, face masks, or even a gift card for a manicure, pedicure, or massage.

Woman chopping in the kitchen as she preps a meal

3. Help Around the House

If you like to help in practical ways, you can offer to clean the house, mow the lawn, cook meals, or shop for groceries. We all tend to say, “Don’t worry; I’ll get to it,” but during times of grief, the most routine tasks take an extra measure of energy to accomplish. When you first offer, your friend may decline because they don’t want to inconvenience you. Kindly but firmly let them know that helping them is not inconvenient at all, and either offer to do specific tasks or ask them which tasks would be most helpful.

4. Gift a Grief Journal or Sketchbook

During times of grief, expressing what’s on your heart and mind is helpful. For some, that means writing things down, allowing the emotions to pour out on paper. Others need to sketch or paint their emotions, using various colors to depict different emotions. Creativity is an effective tool for expressing externally what is sometimes stuck internally. If you know that your grieving friend is a writer or an artist (and even if they aren’t), giving them a journal or a sketchbook might create a good outlet for self-expression.

Yellow roses resting in the pages of a book

5. Choose a Book about Grief

When you’re in the depths of grief, you might draw courage and inspiration from the stories of others. While your grief is not the same as someone else’s, hearing from other people can act as a reminder that you’re not alone. Everyone grieves and hurts. There are many books available about grief because every person deals with it at some point in their lives, though an often noted classic to consider is A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis.

6. Create a Message Jar

With this idea, you’re a little more hands-on. Creating a message jar will take time and intentionality, but the results are comforting and worthwhile. To get started, you need a jar (you choose the size, color, decoration), and then, using slips of paper, write 31 notes with words of encouragement to your grieving friend. After receiving the jar, your friend will have an entire month’s worth of comfort and encouragement from you. If you wish to write fewer notes or more than 31, you can tailor the jar’s contents to your wishes. No matter the number of notes, this thoughtful gift will communicate just how much you care and show that your support is long-term.

Two children laying on bed with a stuffed animal between them

7. Do Something for the Kids

Children also experience grief, and noticing their needs can comfort kids and parents alike. If you decide to do something for the kids, make sure to take their age into account. For example, you could give a stuffed animal to a small child or a remembrance necklace to an older one. You could bring favorite foods, books, or a specially made Christmas ornament. Your options are limitless. (Note: If you aren’t close to the family, consider getting permission from the caregivers before giving gifts to the kids.)

8. Offer Babysitting

Offering to take care of the kids for an evening is another practical gift you can give to a grieving family. The adult(s) may need time to think and process through overwhelming emotions, which can be very hard to do with little ones around. Time alone, or just the opportunity to go do some things solo, can be a rejuvenating and life-giving gift.

Two female co-workers talking with one placing a hand on the other's shoulder in comfort

9. Volunteer Your PTO

Employment responsibilities don’t stop because you’re grieving. Some companies provide bereavement days, but there may be restrictions, such as only pertaining to the loss of immediate family. If you are close to a grieving co-worker, and your company allows it, you might consider donating one of your vacation days to a friend who needs a little extra time away from the office. While dependent on your company’s policies and whether you have any PTO days available, giving someone extra time to grieve is an incredible gift that can make a big impact on the days surrounding the death of a loved one.

10. Be Present

While some people do want to be alone in their grief, your presence is important. Not your advice or your own grief experiences, but your presence. Quiet. Thoughtful. Present. Available. We all need to know that someone cares, that someone acknowledges our grief and our right to grieve. Consider how you can simply be present and available to your grieving friend, and when they are ready, you can be a listening ear to someone who simply needs a friend.

Two elderly male friends walking and talking together

This list is far from exhaustive. If you’ve come up with another way to show your grieving friend that you care, go for it! The most important thing is to thoughtfully and meaningfully convey your love, support, and care during a time of grief and loss.

For more useful ideas and suggestions, check out:

Sympathy Gifts You Can Mail
Sympathy Cards: What to Write & Examples
8 Simple Tips for Writing a Meaningful Condolence Letter

Jul 10
Love0
mom and two kids standing in a field and gazing out to the trees

Your First Family Photoshoot After Loss: 4 Tips for a Meaningful Experience

By Educational, Grief/Loss, Living Well

After losing a loved one, many firsts can feel especially heavy as that special person’s absence becomes more noticeable in everyday life. Milestones, holidays, special events, and anniversaries each hold their own kind of weight, often stirring up memories and emotions in unexpected ways. One moment that can catch you off guard is the first family photoshoot without someone who meant so much.

Losing someone means you can’t be with them in the same way anymore. Your connection with them shifts into something you carry through memory rather than physical presence. Dr. Alan Wolfelt, a nationally respected grief counselor, author, and educator, believes that every person must move through a process that he calls “reconciliation,” a way of learning to move forward while integrating the reality of that absence into one’s life.

grandad, grandson, and son sitting in a field together with hills behind them

This change can feel especially visible during an event like family photos, where a loved one’s absence is both seen and felt. It’s not about letting go, but about finding a new way to stay connected while continuing to move forward. Whether your loss is recent or something you’ve carried for a while, planning that first family photoshoot without a loved one can feel especially emotional.

With thoughtful preparation, however, it can become a meaningful, healing experience that brings moments of joy as you reflect on the impact someone had on your life. Here are a few considerations to help make the experience a little easier.

empty rocking chair on a deck looking out towards the water

Thoughtfully Plan Your Session

Before your session, reach out to your photographer to talk through your expectations, any sensitivities, and what matters most to you. These conversations can help create a more relaxed and supportive experience.

You can share as much or as little about your loss as you feel comfortable. What kind of tone feels right for this session? Something more reflective, hopeful, or somewhere in between? Small details like timing, location, or even who stands where can carry more emotional weight than expected. Thinking through those pieces ahead of time can ease some of the pressure, allowing you to arrive at the session feeling a bit more prepared and supported.

mom and two kids standing in a field and gazing out to the trees

Honor Your Loved One’s Memory

As you plan out the session, consider tangible and intangible ways you can remember your loved one and do what feels most true for your family. Take time to talk through meaningful details with your family and decide how you’d like to intentionally honor your loved one.

Your photographer may already have some cool ideas for how to personalize your photoshoot, so be sure to talk with them and share your own wishes, too. If you find yourself needing inspiration or a starting point, here are a few options you might consider including:

  • Shoes, a favorite blanket, hat collection, or well-loved jewelry
  • Their favorite flowers to add color and a sense of joy
  • A small comfort item for children in memory of their loved one
  • Collectibles like books, records, or art
  • A framed photo of your loved one

young girl in a pink sweater holding a trifold American flag

There are also several intangible ways to incorporate personal touches that represent your loved one, subtle additions to your session that still hold deep meaning. Choosing a location like a favorite state park, your home, or a place they loved can gently incorporate a lost loved one’s presence into the photoshoot.

Even small details, like planning for a sunrise or sunset session, can bring an added sense of connection if that was a time of day they enjoyed. What was their favorite color? You could coordinate outfits in that shade or include subtle accents that reflect it. Did they have a signature pose they were known for? You and your family could recreate it to honor them. These intentional choices offer a quiet, meaningful way to keep their presence close.

bouquet of flowers being held by a woman in a grey sweater

Give Yourself Grace for Emotions

Grief doesn’t follow a schedule, and emotions can surface unexpectedly during the photoshoot. It helps to plan for breaks and allow space for pauses when needed. A slower, more flexible pace can ease some of the pressure, especially for children, giving everyone room to settle and feel more grounded.

At the same time, leaving space for natural moments to unfold can be incredibly meaningful. Sharing stories or memories during the session can create opportunities for genuine connection, and sometimes even laughter, as you reminisce together. There’s no need to force smiles or hold everything together; instead, welcome whatever emotions come up.

AA image- father and daughter playing on a beach and laughing

Move Forward While Still Honoring Loss

Over time, a photoshoot can become more than just a yearly tradition. It can be an opportunity to honor your loved one and reconcile with your grief. Each session can include something that reminds you of them, whether you share stories as you gather or simply show up as you are, year after year, and finding hope.

In the end, the images from your family photoshoot will become part of the story you’re continuing to carry: one that holds both love and loss, presence and absence. And within that, there can be something steady and grounding. Family photoshoots can become an evolving way to remember, to connect, and to keep your loved one woven into your family’s story. As you prepare for your first family photoshoot after loss, may these helpful tips make that time precious and healing for every member of your family.

Jun 18
Love0
A woman crying with her hand in front of her face while people surround and support her.

4 Reasons to Give Up Grief Clichés

By Grief/Loss, Helping a Friend in Grief

When someone you know loses a loved one, it’s natural to want to offer comfort. Whether it’s a neighbor, friend, or family member, it can be difficult to find the right words to say. You may be tempted to fall back on familiar clichés to ease someone’s pain, but unfortunately, grief clichés can unintentionally make things more difficult.

But why don’t they help? Aren’t they clichés for a reason? Today, let’s discuss why giving up clichés and moving toward heartfelt, personal condolences is the best way forward. When you understand how these clichéd responses can negatively impact someone’s grief journey, you’ll look for more personal ways to offer meaningful support. Let’s get started!

4 Reasons Why You Should Give Up Grief Clichés

A woman sadly clutching a picture frame to her chest.1. They impose a timeline on grief.

Everyone’s grief journey is different, and there is no timeline for healing. For someone who is grieving, hearing the cliché “time heals all wounds” may feel insensitive and suggest that time itself will eventually make them feel better. It can also create pressure to move forward before they’re ready. While time can lessen the early, sharp feelings of loss, it doesn’t make the pain go away. For many people, this phrase may feel overwhelming and sound dismissive of how complex and continuous grief can be.

Two men sitting at a table holding hands while one gazes out the window.They minimize the loss.

Some phrases seem like attempts to make sense of a loss, but they can end up minimizing the loss and don’t align with how the grieving person feels. For example, when you say “everything happens for a reason,” it suggests that there is a deeper, perhaps unknown purpose behind the loss. For many people, especially in moments of grief, it’s inconceivable that there could be a good reason for their loved one’s passing. The idea can feel confusing, frustrating, or wrong. Instead of offering the comfort you intended, you may end up accidentally disregarding what they are going through.

Two women sitting on a couch, holding coffee mugs and talking.They focus on the speaker rather than the grieving person.

At times, well-meaning clichés can shift the focus away from the person who is grieving. When you say “I know how you feel,” it can make it seem like you’re drawing attention to your own loss or experience rather than focusing solely on the person who is currently grieving. It may also come across as you processing your own grief rather than being fully present for them. While the sentiment is sincere, it’s not the right time to offer advice or to talk about your own loss when you’re in the middle of expressing condolences. At this moment, the focus should be squarely on your grieving friend and their current loss.

A woman crying with her hand in front of her face while people surround and support her.They invalidate real emotions.

Some cliché expressions may come across as invalidating a person’s pain rather than allowing space for how they’re feeling. For example, the clichés “they wouldn’t want you to be sad” or “they’re in a better place” can make it feel like the griever’s emotions aren’t valid or shouldn’t be expressed. It’s almost like they aren’t allowed to grieve because their loved one wouldn’t want them to. But being sad is normal, natural, and shouldn’t be stigmatized. When you offer condolences, make sure you are validating and accepting the griever’s emotions and giving them a safe space for their pain.

Now you know why clichés don’t always help, but if you can’t use them, what should you do instead?

A little girl and her father placing a letter in a mailbox.Thoughtful Alternatives

Instead of relying on clichés, there are other meaningful ways you can offer comfort and let a grieving friend know you care. If you’re looking for ways to express your condolences that truly resonate, consider these options:

By choosing your words and actions thoughtfully, you ensure that whatever you say feels caring and genuine. As you select a phrase, poem, song, or gift, make sure you personalize what you share to best meet the grieving person’s needs.

The grieving person needs support from those who care, and by being intentional with what you say and avoiding overused clichés, you can protect their feelings and prevent unintended heartache. What you say matters, and your words can have a lasting impact and make a real difference for someone who is grieving.

Additional Resources

What Should I Say to Someone Who is Grieving?

6 Things You Should Never Say to a Grieving Person

6 MORE Things You Should Never Say to a Grieving Person

May 15
Love0
Woman resting arms on her father's shoulders

Dealing With Grief on Father’s Day

By Exclude from Top Posts, Grief/Loss, Seasonal

Grief is hard any day of the year, but the special and significant days can be some of the most difficult. For some, Father’s Day is one of those particularly painful days. Whether you are a child who has lost your father or a father who has lost your child, you may find yourself dreading the third Sunday in June. As Father’s Day approaches, here are a few suggestions to help you turn a rough day into an opportunity to honor your loved one’s memory in a special way.

Participate in a remembrance activity

Person sitting on couch at home, holding remote, with popcorn and a drink on a table in front

One way to process your emotions in a healthy way is to participate in a remembrance activity that reminds you of your father or child. Remembrance is an important part of the grieving process. By remembering, you forge a path forward in the work of grieving and pay tribute to your loved one. For example, you could watch a favorite movie, listen to a favorite song, or go to a favorite location. Father’s Day will still be difficult, but by engaging in a meaningful activity, you can give the day significance.

Make time for solitude

Woman sitting at home with a cup of tea and a book

In the busyness of the day, carve out time for peace and quiet. Your emotions may be closer to the surface and feel stronger than usual. If that’s the case, listen to your mental, emotional, and physical cues. Take a nap, sit alone, journal, go for a walk, or read. Take time to reflect on cherished memories and indulge in a moment of peace. You are going through a difficult and life-changing loss; give yourself extra grace and find moments to rest, relax, and release the stresses of the day.

Talk to someone about how you’re feeling

Father and son sitting on a couch in a bright room and talking

When life is hard, it’s important to surround yourself with people who love you and will support you. If you’re grieving the loss of a father or child, Father’s Day is going to bring out some strong emotions within you. Consider chatting with someone about what you’re feeling and share the load of your grief. If you don’t have anybody you can talk to, consider speaking with a grief therapist or joining a local grief support group. Having somebody listen and offer sympathy for your loss is enormously beneficial for your grief journey.

Write about your experience

Man sitting in bed and writing in a journal

For some, it’s easier to write than to talk because writing gives you extra time to organize your thoughts. If that’s you, pour out your feelings on paper or on the computer, and be honest about everything you’re feeling. In the end, you may want to keep your thoughts private and write only for the therapeutic value of expressing yourself. But if you feel up to it, share your written words with people who are close to you. Don’t worry about “bringing other people down.” Those who care about you want to know how you’re feeling.

Honor other fathers in your life

Father and adult son hugging each other

Do you have a mentor or a surrogate father in your life? Maybe it’s an uncle, grandfather, spiritual leader, coach, teacher, or family friend who stepped in and became like a father to you. Even something as simple as sending a thank you card or text can bring comfort and help you honor the men who stepped up in your life. Try thinking of all the “fathers” who have been there for you over the years and send each one a personal thank you sharing how much you appreciate their love, support, and words of wisdom.

Some Final Thoughts

Woman resting arms on her father's shoulders

For those who have lost a father

If you are missing your dad this Father’s Day, focus on what he meant to you and what you learned from him. You could take flowers to his final resting place. Write him a letter to share recent news or what’s on your heart. Select your favorite picture of him and create a custom blanket. There are so many ways that you can honor your dad’s memory.

On the other hand, if memories of your father are more negative, consider focusing on forgiveness. Write out the painful thoughts and memories that come to mind. Then, go through the list one by one, acknowledge how it makes you feel, and actively forgive your father’s role in that hurt. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that what happened was okay; it means that you refuse to live under its shadow and want to release its power over you. The death of someone who hurt you doesn’t take away the hurt. You still need to work through the painful spoken words and memories for your own emotional wellness. And because hurt and trauma can be complex, it can take time to process it all, and you may want to work with a therapist who can help you navigate the journey.

Young father sitting on a couch, looking out the window and thinking

For those who have lost a child

If you are grieving the loss of a child this Father’s Day, focus on what your child brought to your life and how their presence impacted you. Visit their final resting place or write a letter to tell them how you feel about them, what you miss about them, and what your hopes and dreams were for them. Perhaps your entire family could sit down to share memories and support each other with hugs and kind words.

Also, after the loss of a child, many parents struggle with feelings of guilt or anger. If that’s you, you’re not alone, and it’s natural to feel this way. Whether you could have done something differently or not, it’s essential to work toward forgiving yourself. Read “Dealing with Guilt After Child Loss” to learn helpful information about experiencing parental guilt and how to navigate it.

Hopefully these suggestions will help you navigate your way through Father’s Day this year. And if any of these suggestions worked well for you, continue to do them throughout the year. While the grief of losing someone never fully goes away, you can learn how to move forward and take your precious loved one’s memory with you.

Apr 06
Love0

8 Simple Tips for Writing a Meaningful Condolence Letter

By Grief/Loss, Helping a Friend in Grief

Not sure what to say to comfort a grieving friend? You know you should say something, but the words aren’t coming to you. Perhaps you worry about saying the wrong thing and adding to their pain. Consider sending a handwritten condolence letter! With a few pointers, you can reach out and offer heartfelt, sincere, and meaningful words of sympathy. Let’s talk about it.

Ivory paper with pink envelopes and a small bouquet of white flowers

8 Simple Tips for Writing a Meaningful Condolence Letter

1. Say something

It’s human nature to avoid situations that feel difficult or uncomfortable. But just because something is uncomfortable does not mean it shouldn’t be done. Choosing not to say anything at all after a friend’s loss doesn’t help them and may unintentionally communicate that you don’t care. Instead, consider showing your love and support by picking up a pen to write them a condolence card.

2. Social media isn’t always enough

So many of us express condolences on social media (“I’m so sorry for your loss.” “I’m praying for you.”), but then we stop there. But think how much more meaningful it would be if you took time out of your day to specifically and intentionally write a condolence letter.

Condolences expressed on social media are all well and good, and they can be helpful. It’s an excellent way to express sympathy to someone you don’t know well. But for those you personally know and have a connection to, just think how much more care you will convey by taking the extra time to write a letter.

Ivory card resting in a olive green envelope

3. Handwrite it

By handwriting the letter, you add an extra level of personalization. You took the time to sit down and not only gather your thoughts, but also to write them out. How many people actually do that these days? Far fewer than in previous years. It can mean so much more to receive a handwritten note in the mail than a message on social media.

4. Keep it short(ish)

You don’t have to write a novel for your sympathy letter. In fact, it’s better if you keep it somewhat short and succinct, balanced with intentionality and compassion.

5. Make it personal

As much as possible, tailor your words to create a letter that is personal and specific. You could add words of encouragement, a quote, or a poem. If you knew the person who has died, share a positive story that you remember about them or a way they impacted you.

On the other hand, if you didn’t know the person who has died, mention that you know how much they meant to your grieving friend. Or you can recall things your friend told you about that special person (“I remember you told me…”). No matter how you say it, express your sorrow for their loss.

Pile of handmade cards

6. No comparisons

If you’ve lost a loved one, you know that it is hard, painful, and exhausting. But even though you can relate to someone’s grief, avoid comparing your grief to theirs. You may have both lost a mom, but you are two different people with unique relationships to your moms, which means your two grief journeys are going to look very different.

Instead, offer words of comfort without comparisons. Share a valuable lesson you’ve learned in your own grief journey while still acknowledging, “I know your loss is different from mine.”

7. Be real

Don’t be afraid to use words like “death,” “died,” or “die.” According to Dr. Alan Wolfelt, a respected grief expert and counselor, acknowledging the reality of the death of a loved one is necessary to move forward in your grief journey. By being unafraid to use these terms, you participate in helping to acknowledge the reality of the loss.

8. Add a thoughtful action

These days, no matter where you live, you can do something thoughtful for a grieving friend.  If you live nearby, take a casserole over to the family. If you live further away, order flowers online. With the internet, there’s so much you can do even if you’re separated by distance. But remember, don’t offer anything you can’t deliver. Check out “Sympathy Gifts You Can Mail” and “10 Caring and Creative Sympathy Gifts” for a few ideas!

Person holding a folded piece of paper and envelope with pink flowers

Things to Avoid When Writing a Condolence Letter

Now that you know what to do, let’s touch on some things you should NOT do. In many cases, what you don’t say is just as important as what you do say. Here are a few pitfalls to avoid:

  • Sometimes the grieving person needs to tell their story, but you should always let them decide how much they want to share, especially regarding the circumstances of their loved one’s death. It’s not helpful to make the grieving person feel like you are looking for juicy gossip.
  • Refrain from saying anything negative about the person who has died. You may not have personally liked them, but for the purposes of a condolence letter, keep your opinions to yourself.
  • Avoid saying insensitive things like “You’re better off without them” or “Cheer up!” Every person needs to be allowed to grieve in their own way, not feel like they’re doing it wrong.
  • Don’t mention the will or the estate. If you are in line to inherit something, you will be contacted at the proper time. The condolence letter is not the right time.
  • Try to avoid clichés. For example, “It was just their time to go” or “They’re in a better place” are cliché phrases that don’t help. Instead, put your heart into the letter and be real and sincere.

White paper with beige envelope with pink and white flowers

With these tips up your sleeve, you will have an easier time writing a meaningful condolence letter. It will still take time, so make sure that you aren’t in a hurry when you sit down to write. Put together a draft first, let it sit for a while, and come back to see if there’s anything that needs adjusting. Once you feel good about the content, write it out in your best handwriting and place it in the mail. Your words may become the bright spot in your grieving friend’s day!

Apr 02
Love0
Two men drinking coffee and sitting on a bench in the park

6 Ways to Support a Friend Grieving Their Mom on Mother’s Day

By Grief/Loss, Helping a Friend in Grief

Though holidays like Mother’s Day are joyful for many, they can be especially difficult for those grieving the loss of a mother. If you have a friend who has lost their mom, their grief may become more evident as Mother’s Day approaches. You may wonder if there’s anything you can do to help. Thankfully, there are meaningful, helpful ways you can offer comfort during this time. If you’d like to show someone you care this Mother’s Day, here are some thoughtful actions to support your grieving friend.

1. Provide a safe space to talk

Woman with hand on man's shoulder, drinking coffee and talkingSometimes, the simple act of sitting and listening goes a long way. Set aside time on Mother’s Day to have a conversation with your friend. Make some tea at home, meet at a coffee shop, or go for a walk and ley them talk about their mom. Silence your phone and limit distractions so you can be fully present, actively listen, and create a safe space for your friend to share their feelings.

If you’re unable to be with your friend in person, consider calling to check on them. Also, remember that your friend may not want to talk specifically about their mom, as it may be painful. Encourage them to talk about whatever feels right to them so they can focus on healing. Your presence and willingness to listen can be both comforting and healing for your friend.

2. Send a note of encouragement

Close up of man's hands holding an envelopeAnother way to support a friend who has lost their mother is to send a note of encouragement on Mother’s Day. This small gesture shows your friend that you recognize Mother’s Day may be a difficult time for them and lets them know they are not alone. Mail a card, send an email, or text them just to let your friend know that you’re there to support them.

For example, you could say, “I know Mother’s Day can be an overwhelming time for you. Please know I’m thinking of you.” Or, if you knew their mother personally, consider sharing a memory or story that celebrates what made her special. You could write something like, “I loved the sound of your mom’s laugh. It was always such a joyful sound.”

Adding personal touches can remind your friend how cherished their mother was and offer comfort during a challenging day.

3. Give a meaningful gift to honor their mom

Pink flowers in a vase sitting on a tableGiving your friend a gift in remembrance of their mom is another meaningful gesture. Since flowers are often associated with Mother’s Day, consider taking them a bouquet or a houseplant to brighten their home.

If your friend would appreciate something long-lasting, consider a small trinket, such as a jewelry tray or a decorative item that serves as a daily reminder of how much their mom was loved and continues to be remembered. You might also consider something more customizable, such as a necklace or keepsake box with their mother’s name on it.

If you are unable to physically visit your grieving friend, you can mail a small sympathy gift to let them know they’re on your mind. A tangible token, no matter how small, can bring comfort and help honor their mother’s memory in a lasting way.

4. Share a comforting meal together

Two women having a meal out on a deck.If you and your friend like food (who doesn’t?), then a great way to comfort your friend is to enjoy a meal together. You might invite them to brunch on Mother’s Day, bake their mom’s signature cookies together, or even pick up takeout and eat it at a local park. This is a thoughtful way to ensure they aren’t alone and have company around Mother’s Day.

By spending time with your friend, you provide them with companionship during their time of loss. Sharing meals often encourages meaningful conversations, giving you a chance to ask questions and get a sense of how they are feeling. Encourage your friend to share favorite memories of their mom, and let them know they can talk about her any time they want to.

5. Visit a place that celebrates their mom’s memory

Two men drinking coffee and sitting on a bench in the parkAccompanying your friend to a place that reminds them of their mom is a thoughtful way to show you care. Maybe their mom had a favorite park, walking trail, or bookstore you could visit together. Sharing this moment with your friend may encourage them to visit again on their own when they feel ready. While you’re there, allow them to process being in a space their mom loved so much.

Another option, if your friend is open to it, is visiting their mother’s final resting place together. Keep in mind that this option can be an emotional experience and is often most appropriate if you share a very close relationship with your friend. Once you arrive, give your friend space and let them set the pace of the visit. Your steady presence can help make the experience less overwhelming and offer your friend much-needed support in a difficult moment.

6. Support a cause together

Close up of a group of people's legs all walking togetherVolunteering or supporting a meaningful cause with your friend can be a powerful way to bring comfort on Mother’s Day. If your friend’s mother battled an illness, you could sign up for an awareness walk or participate in a blood drive in her honor. This meaningful gesture shows your friend that you care about their family.

Alternatively, you could make a charitable donation to a cause in your friend’s mother’s name to show your support. Sharing one of these meaningful experiences with your friend is a wonderful way to celebrate their mom’s memory.

Hopefully, these ideas encourage you to reach out to a grieving friend on Mother’s Day. Remember, anything you choose to do is a sign of kindness and compassion. Whether you provide your friend comfort with food, a listening ear, or a shoulder to cry on, know that your support will be deeply appreciated.

Apr 01
Love0
group of friends laughing and talking together over dinner

The Healing Power of Laughter in Grief

By Educational, Grief/Loss, Living Well

Like the ocean’s tides, grief ebbs and flows. Its waves are sometimes overwhelming, and sometimes they gently recede to make space for a brief return to joy and peace. It may feel like grief is taking away your happiness and perhaps even your sense of self as it washes over you. So, how can you stay afloat when grief rises and falls? What can you do to cope? Believe it or not, laughter is a proven way to cope with loss and can become an incredible tool in your grief toolkit.

two women laughing over coffee

Grief and Laughter Coexist

Human beings are complex and capable of feeling many different emotions at the same time. While it may seem contradictory, laughter and grief often coexist, even when loss is fresh. You may experience waves of sadness, nostalgia, and even unexpected happiness within moments of each other.

Research shows that humor is both a defense mechanism and a powerful tool for coping with difficult events. Have you ever felt the uncontrollable need to laugh when someone falls flat on their face? You are still concerned about whether the person hurt themselves, but you just can’t help but burst out laughing. As strange as it may be, that burst of laughter is helping you cope with the situation and move toward compassionate action. So, how can laughter support you during a season of grief? Let’s explore!

couple on the beach at sunset

The Benefits of Laughter

Physical Benefits

Grief places significant stress on your body, leading to elevated cortisol levels, muscle tension, and changes in appetite, all of which can wear you down over time. In contrast, laughter boosts your heart rate, making each heartbeat stronger and more efficient. It also boosts circulation, relaxes your muscles, and provides much-needed “micro breaks,” almost like coming up for air after being swept under the wave of grief.

Emotional Benefits

In addition to physical benefits, laughter also comes with emotional benefits. Did you know that laughter can soothe tension? When you laugh, your body releases dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins, which are natural mood boosters that can help you relax and reduce feelings of anxiety. Embracing moments of laughter is an act of self-care that helps you regain a sense of agency when life feels out of control. Overall, laughter can ease stress, depression, and anxiety, helping you feel happier, even in the most difficult seasons of life.

group walking along a beach

Social Benefits

Laughter shared with others activates the body’s relaxation response and facilitates meaningful connection. When you’re not up for a crowd, spending time with someone lighthearted or a small group can still deliver the mood-lifting benefits of laughter. For example, if you’re struggling after your loved one’s funeral or memorial service, try a “remember when” story swap. Recalling your loved one’s quirks, bloopers, and favorite jokes can shift the tone from somber to something more bittersweet.

Inviting Laughter into Your Life

During difficult times, healing can come from unexpected sources. That’s why it’s valuable to find gentle ways to invite laughter into your life. By allowing yourself moments of connection, comfort, and laughter, you create space for resilience and growth as you navigate the path toward feeling whole again.

people seated around a table laughing

The following suggestions offer ways to nurture yourself and invite moments of joy, even during times of sorrow.

  • Share a meal with a lighthearted friend and turn it into a comforting, weekly ritual. Sometimes, good company is as nourishing as good food.
  • Explore comedians who weave grief into their routines. Hearing others speak openly and humorously about loss can help break the silence around “taboo” topics and offer a sense of relief and validation.
  • Ask for funny book recommendations at your local library. It may surprise you, but even grief books have humor and can bring joy.
  • Spend more time with friends, family, children, or animals. These shared experiences can offer natural distractions and remind you of life’s more unscripted moments.
  • Clumsy puppies and sassy cats provide a dopamine boost when you’re spending time alone and want a little cheering up. Host or attend board game nights for low-pressure connections. Games provide a shared focus and open the door to spontaneous laughs that feel authentic and not orchestrated.
  • Dive into hobbies and activities that bring you joy or try something new! New projects can shift your focus from pain to creation and discovery, restoring a sense of agency when life feels out of your control.

elderly group hiking

These practical ideas can help you rediscover moments of humor and build safe spaces for healing. By embracing healthy distractions, you give yourself permission to process grief at your own pace, finding hope and support along the way.

Embracing Moments of Joy

As you move through grief, remember that actively seeking and allowing yourself moments of laughter is both natural and healing. The joy that comes from laughter can be the big breath of fresh air you need in the deep moments of grief.

When you’re in the middle of a good laugh, you might find yourself wondering, “What would [name] think or say right now?” You may even hear their laughter as they join in with you. What a sweet moment of connection in the ongoing process of grieving!

woman by the ocean

No matter what, remember that your loved one would want you to find joy again, even as you move through grief. Allowing yourself moments of laughter and happiness doesn’t mean forgetting. Instead, it can honor your loved one’s memory and serve as a gentle reminder to seek out moments of healing joy throughout a season of grief.

Mar 11
Love0
A caretaker applauding a kid while they paint outside

How to Support Your Grieving Child During Easter

By Children, Grief/Loss, Seasonal

Easter is a time for celebration and renewal, but for children who have lost a loved one, it can feel different. They might feel out of sorts and not want to participate in Easter activities like egg hunts or visiting the Easter Bunny.

A child looking out the window thoughtfully

As a caregiver, you want to support and uplift your child during this difficult time. However, it can be challenging to navigate deep topics and emotions with a grieving child. They’re still developing as a person, which means they likely aren’t in touch with their emotions. That’s why children need a guiding hand to develop healthy coping skills.

Whether your child has lost a relative or a close friend, let’s discuss a few gentle guidelines that can help you support your grieving child during the Easter season.

Understand That Children Grieve Differently

A parent comforting their kid while they cry

Grief looks different for everyone, and it isn’t an easy concept to understand, especially for children. Nationally respected grief counselor and educator Dr. Alan Wolfelt says, “In life, everyone grieves. But their grief journeys are never the same. Despite what you may hear, you will do the work of mourning in your own special way.”

There are many signs of grief that can show up at different ages and developmental stages, but they’re all normal. For example, your child may not be as excited about Easter activities this year. Or maybe your child is in denial that their loved one is gone and is closing themselves off from others. If your child is exhibiting natural grieving behaviors, try not to worry too much. Grief takes time.

If you’ve ever lost a loved one, then you’ll understand how complicated feelings and behaviors can get. To foster a healthy grief journey, encourage your child to talk about their feelings and create opportunities for them to come to you.

Provide a Compassionate Space

A parent talking to their stressed child

While everyone around them may be celebrating Easter, your child needs a safe space to express their grief, and that space can be you. Even if your child is not initially receptive, continually remind them that you’re available to support them.

In some ways, being a supportive space won’t be easy; your child could be happily decorating eggs one moment and crying the next. Create a space for grace and understanding, but don’t allow your child to push your boundaries. Even when someone is grieving, it doesn’t excuse breaking the rules or mistreating those around them.

As your child’s safe space, you can provide opportunities for them to express themselves. For example, open conversations and journaling can create a sense of structure and foster positive expression. Reading a book and drinking a warm beverage can emphasize the safety of your child’s home surroundings. All of these things remind children that home is a safe place to grieve. And if your child seeks out time alone, don’t be afraid to give it to them. Children of every age experience a range of emotions, and these feelings can be overwhelming if they don’t have a healthy outlet.

Modify an Easter Tradition

A kid picking up Easter eggs

Easter celebrations usually include fun activities like opening baskets and dressing up, but your child’s excitement may look different. Enjoying the holidays without a loved one can be challenging, but with a little effort, you can update your traditions to help your child grieve and honor their loved one’s memory!

If the loved one enjoyed a specific candy, you could include it in the eggs for an Easter egg hunt. Or, if your child loved painting or dyeing eggs with the person who has died, you could gather the supplies and do the activity with your child yourself.

As your child does these activities, they can remind them that their loved one is still present in their daily life – even if they’re not physically there. These special moments help honor their loved one’s memory, soothe the ache of their loss, and learn healthy grieving skills.

Encourage Outdoor Activity

A field of tulips in a park

Grief can make it easy to fall into a pattern of staying inside, but going outside can help your child immensely. Thankfully, Easter often lands in early spring, which means warmer temperatures, plants growing, and more time spent outside.

There are many ways you can use the outdoors to help your child. Take the opportunity to plant their loved one’s favorite tree or flower as an act of remembrance. Visit their loved one’s final resting place and let your child talk about school, memories, or whatever they want. Or to help your child expend any emotional energy, take a walk or play at the playground. These activities can help your child release their emotions in a healthy manner.

A caretaker applauding a kid while they paint outside

As a caregiver, you want nothing more for your child than for them to be happy during the Easter holiday. Grief isn’t easy, and it takes time and intentional effort to process. While you cannot heal your child’s grief, you can make Easter feel easier by implementing these compassionate guidelines and practices. Showing that you care will make all the difference to your child as they navigate the challenging emotions that accompany grief.

As you create a plan to support your grieving child this Easter, take a look at these additional resources and decide how best to love on your child during their time of grief:

6 Ways to Honor a Loved One’s Memory at Easter – Funeral Basics

10 Ways to Support a Grieving Child During the Holidays – Funeral Basics

7 Tips for Teaching Your Child How to Process Grief – Funeral Basics

10 Story Books on Grief for Children Ages 3-12 – Funeral Basics

Feb 27
Love0
Man slouched over with someone's hand on his shoulder offering support.

Navigating Behavioral Changes After Loss

By Educational, Grief/Loss

After losing a loved one, many aspects of your life may shift and change. Your daily interactions with others, hobbies, and interests may suddenly look different, leaving you feeling disoriented and uncertain. At times, your body and emotions may feel like they have a mind of their own. In addition to physical and emotional changes, you may also experience behavioral changes. To help you and your loved ones navigate any unexpected behavioral shifts, let’s discuss what you might experience and how you can overcome these changes.

Elderly man looking off into the distance, and sitting on the couch while leaning on his cane.

What are Behavioral Changes?

To start, let’s define “behavioral changes.” Behavioral changes involve replacing old habits or patterns with new ones in response to a situation, such as the death of a loved one. Depending on the person, some changes may be short-lived while others linger on. But either way, always remember that behavioral changes are normal as you learn how to navigate life without your loved one.

Common Behavioral Changes

Next, let’s talk about some common behavioral changes you might experience after losing a loved one. When you know what to expect, you can adapt and adjust more easily to the changes.

Lashing out

Woman with hand on her forehead, looking upset, while another woman stands beside her, frustrated.Following the loss of a loved one, there may be days when you feel especially upset or angry because that special person is gone. With these strong emotions at the forefront, it can be challenging to focus on the other relationships in your life. On these days, you may feel tempted to lash out at the people around you, even if they are also grieving.

For example, because you may become triggered or upset more easily, you might find that you are more short-tempered with your spouse, kids, parents, or friends or have less patience than you typically do. In that instance, remind yourself that those around you are also experiencing loss and big emotions. They may also be feeling triggered and upset, just like you.

If you feel close to lashing out, remind yourself to breathe and remember that you will get through this. Take it one day at a time and allow yourself breaks and alone time when needed.

Avoiding people or social situations

Woman with sad expression, another woman comforting her.Without your loved one by your side, it might be exhausting to think about attending social gatherings or events. On top of that, it can be difficult to see others celebrating when you are grieving. As a result, you may find yourself avoiding social situations entirely.

Perhaps a friend and your lost loved one share the same birthday, so you aren’t sure if you want to attend the birthday brunch. It’s okay to skip the event if you need to focus on healing instead. One day, you will enjoy events again, but it’s okay to say no right now.

It’s natural and normal to want to be alone in your grief at times. Just be sure you don’t keep friends and family at a distance in the long term. After all, they care about you and want to help you during this difficult time.

Decreasing interest in activities

Elderly man sitting on couch and holding a remote.After losing a loved one, there may be times when it is challenging to participate in the activities you usually enjoy. That’s okay! A decrease in activities is normal as you figure out life after loss.

The book club, pottery class, or daily walks that usually bring you joy might begin to feel daunting. If an activity suddenly feels unenjoyable, it is okay to take a break and try again later. Over time, you can pick up the activities again, and they may become a healthy way to express your emotions during your grief journey.

As you adjust, remember to be kind to yourself and know that your interest in activities should return in time. However, if you don’t go back to those classes or clubs, that’s okay, too. You might discover new hobbies or interests while on your path to healing.

Feeling the need to make huge life decisions

Close up of hands holding a pen and signing a document.Because losing a loved one causes a significant change in your life, you may feel the overwhelming need to adjust other parts of your life to help you cope.

You may decide that it’s time to move, especially if you shared a home with your loved one and it’s now painful to stay there. Or perhaps you’ve lost a dear colleague, and you now have a strong urge to leave your job and start over somewhere new.

Before making any life-altering decisions, remind yourself that you are grieving and thoughtfully consider whether the decision will be helpful long term. Is the decision a logical one or a result of your grief? Not all big decisions are bad, but it’s important to be sure you are making them for the right reasons.

Ways to Overcome Behavioral Changes

While these behaviors may feel discouraging, the good news is that there are positive, healthy ways to cope with and overcome them. The following suggestions offer various outlets that will help after losing a loved one.

Take care of yourself

Elderly woman walking on a path with trees in the background.After a loss, make sure that you are eating well, sleeping, and getting some form of daily exercise to help improve your mental and physical well-being. Grief can affect even the most basic daily routines, so it’s important to ensure that you don’t forget to shower, brush your teeth, and change clothes every day. Although taking care of yourself may feel difficult while you are grieving, self-care is essential for your health.

Create a daily routine

Woman laying in bed and stretching with alarm clock on the table.Creating and sticking to a daily routine can help you ground yourself and find your new normal. Getting out of bed and making breakfast is a great start. Try to go for a walk, attend a workout class, or fit some form of exercise into your day. Having a familiar routine and knowing what to expect each day can give you a sense of control, even as you feel a little out of control after losing your loved one.

Find a support system

Man slouched over with someone's hand on his shoulder.Establishing a support system is a great way to get the physical help and emotional care you need during a time of loss. You can find a grief support group and chat with others who understand what you are going through. If a group setting is a bit overwhelming or just not your thing, reach out to a grief therapist. By connecting with others, you can share the load of your grief with people who care.

Identify positive outlets for your grief

Close up of shoes walking on a path.In order to heal, you need to find a way to express your grief. When you have the energy (it may not be right away), look for positive outlets to help you release your emotions and anything that may be pent-up inside you. For example, you could take a boxing class, go for a run, write in your journal, read poetry, or color as a way to process your grief. Adding a few relaxing hobbies and activities to your routine can be a productive way to move toward healing.

Visit your loved one’s final resting place

Monuments with color flowers.Visiting your loved one’s final resting place can be a cathartic step in your healing journey. For some, it may feel normal to visit a loved one’s final resting place as often as possible because it brings comfort. For others, visiting may feel uncomfortable, unnecessary, or even pointless at first. But consider giving it a try, either now or in the future. Spending time at your loved one’s resting place can be a healing experience and bring you closure.

Hopefully, you now have a better understanding of some of the most common behavioral changes to expect after a loss and how to deal with them when they come. But in addition to these changes, you may experience other behavioral shifts, and that’s okay. Every grief journey is different, so pay attention to your personal triggers and any new behaviors. And if you’d like help on the grief journey, reach out to a therapist in your area. They can help you build coping skills and learn how to navigate any behavioral changes you may experience.

No matter what, give yourself kindness and grace as you learn to navigate life without your loved one by your side. You have experienced a major loss, and unwanted changes have come into your life. Allow yourself to grieve in your own way, at your own pace, and in your own time.

Feb 24
Love0
Woman reviewing notifications on social media

Tips for Writing a Memorial Post on Social Media

By Educational, Grief/Loss, Memorial

When you’re grieving, remembrance and expression are an essential part of the healing process. You need time to sit with your memories, turn them over in your mind, and process them. And as you review each memory, lean into how it makes you feel and express what’s going on in your mind and heart.

One way to meet both needs (remembrance and expression) is to create a memorial post for social media. As you craft a memorial post (either before or any time after the funeral), you can look back on your loved one’s life (remembrance) and put what you’re thinking and feeling into words (expression). In many ways, the process can be incredibly cathartic and help you get things that are whirling around in your heart and mind outside of yourself in a healthy way. But how do you write a memorial post for social media? Let’s talk about it.

Woman sitting at table with computer and smartphone, looking at social media notifications

Why Post on Social Media?

For most of us, social media has become a normal, everyday part of our lives. While social media comes with its positives and negatives, it is an excellent way to connect with others quickly and easily. By publishing a memorial post on social media, you:

  • Honor your loved one’s life and memory publicly
  • Express what’s on your heart and mind
  • Reflect on the meaningful moments you experienced with your loved one
  • Invite others to remember your loved one’s life alongside you
  • Receive love and support from others
  • Encourage others to reflect on their own grief in a healthy way

Grief is a universal experience. Every person on this planet knows what it is to experience grief and loss. By creating a memorial post, you acknowledge that collective experience and open the door to compassion, reflection, and eventually, healing.

5 Tips for Writing a Memorial Post on Social Media

So, how do you get started? Here are 5 simple tips for writing a memorial post, but remember, these are guidelines, not rules.

Woman taking a smartphone picture of a man holding colorful planters

1. Select a Meaningful Image, Video, Song, or Quote

Perhaps the easiest place to start is with choosing a meaningful image, video, song, or quote. You can then use this chosen media to inspire what you write in the post. Plus, a visual can enhance the post by adding a layer of connection and evoke emotions and memories.

You could choose a photo that means a lot to you or one that captures a milestone event in your life or your loved one’s life. By using a video, your loved one’s physical presence and vitality add a dynamic element to the post. Alternatively, you could include a meaningful quote or share a song that brings tears to your eyes and memories to your heart.

Man in orange shirt typing on laptop

2. Write from the Heart

When writing a memorial post, it’s okay to let your emotions guide you. Because the intention of a memorial post is to reflect on memories, use sincere and heartfelt language as you express your grief and share the story behind meaningful moments. Feel free to talk about how difficult it has been without that special person and how much you miss them.

However, a few tips on what not to include: it’s best to stay respectful, avoid controversial topics, and refrain from sharing traumatic details about the death. Also, if you are posting about a non-family member, be mindful of the family’s privacy and don’t reveal details that are meant to remain private.

Woman sitting on yellow couch and interacting with phone and social media

3. Add Personal Touches

As you write, consider adding personal touches to the post. You could share a specific memory, talk about a shared experience, or discuss your loved one’s unique quirks. Talk about their love of music or pop culture or 8-track tapes or the color yellow.

If you’ve included a video with the post, give some context and share why it means so much to you. You can also do this with photos, memes, GIFs, or songs. As you add personal details to your memorial post, you not only express your own sentiments and feelings, but you also transform a general tribute into a unique portrait of your loved one’s life.

Old theatre marquee

4. Include a Call to Action (Optional)

It’s possible that your post may serve two purposes: honoring your loved one’s life and promoting a cause or event. Perhaps your loved one was deeply involved in the local theatre scene, and there’s a new play opening this weekend. You could share a memory about going to plays with your loved one and encourage everyone to go enjoy the newest production!

In a case like this, you can include a call to action. For example, “I’m going out to support the theatre this weekend to honor Dad! I hope to see you there.” Alternatively, you can share a loved one’s final tribute details or highlight their favorite non-profit. No matter what the cause or event, you can create a sense of community and support by inviting others to join in.

Young man reading and editing a post on his phone

5. Think, Review, and Revise

No matter what you’re writing (academic paper, email, social media comment, etc.), always take time to think, review, and revise.

  • Stop to think about what you’ve written. Does it say what you want to say? Does it hit the tone and purpose you’re going for? Is what you’ve said going to hurt any family or friends who are grieving?
  • Review each word you’ve written. Are you clear and concise? Are there any grammatical errors or misspellings? Did you forget to add any necessary details?
  • And finally, if you see something you want to change, revise it right away.

Two easy proofreading hacks are reading it aloud and asking someone else to review it. When you read it aloud, anything that’s off will often rise to the surface. Did everything make sense to you? Did you trip over any wording or feel like the phrasing was awkward? And when you ask a friend to read your post, they may see something you didn’t. Once the post is fully reviewed, make edits as needed. Once you’re happy with it, it’s time to post!

Woman reviewing notifications on social media

What Happens After You Post?

Once your memorial post is live, people may post comments on it. These comments are likely to be supportive and kind, sharing in your grief. If you wish, you can react or reply to comments and talk more about the loss. But if you simply want to read the comments and not go any further, that’s okay, too. Also, some people are unkind or simply oblivious, so if you see a rude or inappropriate comment, you can either ignore it or delete it. This is your memorial post, and you can curate it however you want.

Also, it’s unlikely, but it’s possible that someone may post a rude or inappropriate comment. Decide now how you will respond if that happens. The simplest responses are to either ignore the comment or delete it. This is your memorial post, and you can do what you want with it. Just because someone makes a comment doesn’t mean you have to keep it.

Writing a memorial post is a beautiful way to celebrate a person’s life and the impact they had on others. Whether you’re crafting a tribute for a beloved family member, a cherished friend, or a respected colleague, the process requires sensitivity, thoughtfulness, and a touch of creativity. May these simple tips help you create a loving post that honors that special person and brings comfort to your heart and peace to your soul.

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