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In this video, Dr. Wolfelt dispels the popular notion that a funeral is an opportunity for closure.

A Rite of Initiation

In recent years, there has been a tendency to view the funeral as a way to provide closure for the grieving family. Historically, we know that this is inaccurate. Anyone who has ever lost a loved one knows that the funeral doesn’t signal the end of grief, but the beginning.

Grief Bursts

Sporadic periods of grief will follow those who mourn for the rest of their lives. This is not to say that healing isn’t possible. But we must remember that absolute closure is unobtainable.

A Good Beginning

We shouldn’t assume that the funeral will bring an end to the process of mourning. Rather, it’s a good beginning, the starting marker of a long road to healing.

Dr. Alan D. Wolfelt is an author, educator, and grief counselor with over 30 years of experience working with bereaved families. He has written many best-selling books on grief and loss, including Healing Your Grieving Heart and The Journey Through Grief. Dr. Wolfelt serves as the Director of the Center for Loss and Life Transition. Visit him online at www.centerforloss.com.

In this video, Dr. Wolfelt discusses the important function of the funeral procession and the impact that it has on the family and the broader community.

Honoring the Loved One

Historically, the procession has been called the cortège, which means “to pay honor.” The procession describes the act of accompanying the body of the loved one as it is moved from the funeral to its final resting place.

Community Support

A procession invites the broader community to show respect, comfort, and support for the grieving family. People who didn’t even know the member of the family can be a great encouragement by taking a moment to pause, reflect, and pay their respects.

A Tribute

The procession is an opportunity to accompany the body to its final resting place as one last tribute for the one who has passed. It’s a beautiful way to honor and celebrate the life of a loved one.

Dr. Alan D. Wolfelt is an author, educator, and grief counselor with over 30 years of experience working with bereaved families. He has written many best-selling books on grief and loss, including Healing Your Grieving Heart and The Journey Through Grief. Dr. Wolfelt serves as the Director of the Center for Loss and Life Transition. Visit him online at www.centerforloss.com.

In this video, Dr. Wolfelt discusses the heart graphic that he created as a tool to outline the elements of the funeral.

The Hierarchy

To convey the value of funerals, Dr. Wolfelt created a hierarchy that teaches the six basic functions of the funeral: reality, recall, support, expression, meaning, transcendence. To learn more about Dr. Wolfelt’s hierarchy,  visit the article, Why Do We Have Funerals?

The Heart

Because he wants to describe this process more fully, Dr. Wolfelt has developed a graphic that illustrates the pieces that work together to form a meaningful funeral experience. The heart graphic shown below shows how the various pieces relate so that a family can see how a funeral comes together to form more than the sum of its parts. The heart was chosen because it is a symbol of humanity’s well of reception. Unified at the funeral service, the individual pieces or elements, when combined, take on a special meaning. These elements are actions, the gathering, symbols, eulogy and remembrance, visitation and reception, music, and readings. The interaction of these pieces forms a unique experience, and this experience is the reason that we have had funerals since the beginning of human history.

Dr. Alan D. Wolfelt is an author, educator, and grief counselor with over 30 years of experience working with bereaved families. He has written many best-selling books on grief and loss, including Healing Your Grieving Heart and The Journey Through Grief. Dr. Wolfelt serves as the Director of the Center for Loss and Life Transition. Visit him online at www.centerforloss.com.