Like the ocean’s tides, grief ebbs and flows. Its waves are sometimes overwhelming, and sometimes they gently recede to make space for a brief return to joy and peace. It may feel like grief is taking away your happiness and perhaps even your sense of self as it washes over you. So, how can you stay afloat when grief rises and falls? What can you do to cope? Believe it or not, laughter is a proven way to cope with loss and can become an incredible tool in your grief toolkit.
Grief and Laughter Coexist
Human beings are complex and capable of feeling many different emotions at the same time. While it may seem contradictory, laughter and grief often coexist, even when loss is fresh. You may experience waves of sadness, nostalgia, and even unexpected happiness within moments of each other.
Research shows that humor is both a defense mechanism and a powerful tool for coping with difficult events. Have you ever felt the uncontrollable need to laugh when someone falls flat on their face? You are still concerned about whether the person hurt themselves, but you just can’t help but burst out laughing. As strange as it may be, that burst of laughter is helping you cope with the situation and move toward compassionate action. So, how can laughter support you during a season of grief? Let’s explore!
The Benefits of Laughter
Physical Benefits
Grief places significant stress on your body, leading to elevated cortisol levels, muscle tension, and changes in appetite, all of which can wear you down over time. In contrast, laughter boosts your heart rate, making each heartbeat stronger and more efficient. It also boosts circulation, relaxes your muscles, and provides much-needed “micro breaks,” almost like coming up for air after being swept under the wave of grief.
Emotional Benefits
In addition to physical benefits, laughter also comes with emotional benefits. Did you know that laughter can soothe tension? When you laugh, your body releases dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins, which are natural mood boosters that can help you relax and reduce feelings of anxiety. Embracing moments of laughter is an act of self-care that helps you regain a sense of agency when life feels out of control. Overall, laughter can ease stress, depression, and anxiety, helping you feel happier, even in the most difficult seasons of life.
Social Benefits
Laughter shared with others activates the body’s relaxation response and facilitates meaningful connection. When you’re not up for a crowd, spending time with someone lighthearted or a small group can still deliver the mood-lifting benefits of laughter. For example, if you’re struggling after your loved one’s funeral or memorial service, try a “remember when” story swap. Recalling your loved one’s quirks, bloopers, and favorite jokes can shift the tone from somber to something more bittersweet.
Inviting Laughter into Your Life
During difficult times, healing can come from unexpected sources. That’s why it’s valuable to find gentle ways to invite laughter into your life. By allowing yourself moments of connection, comfort, and laughter, you create space for resilience and growth as you navigate the path toward feeling whole again.
The following suggestions offer ways to nurture yourself and invite moments of joy, even during times of sorrow.
- Share a meal with a lighthearted friend and turn it into a comforting, weekly ritual. Sometimes, good company is as nourishing as good food.
- Explore comedians who weave grief into their routines. Hearing others speak openly and humorously about loss can help break the silence around “taboo” topics and offer a sense of relief and validation.
- Ask for funny book recommendations at your local library. It may surprise you, but even grief books have humor and can bring joy.
- Spend more time with friends, family, children, or animals. These shared experiences can offer natural distractions and remind you of life’s more unscripted moments.
- Clumsy puppies and sassy cats provide a dopamine boost when you’re spending time alone and want a little cheering up. Host or attend board game nights for low-pressure connections. Games provide a shared focus and open the door to spontaneous laughs that feel authentic and not orchestrated.
- Dive into hobbies and activities that bring you joy or try something new! New projects can shift your focus from pain to creation and discovery, restoring a sense of agency when life feels out of your control.
These practical ideas can help you rediscover moments of humor and build safe spaces for healing. By embracing healthy distractions, you give yourself permission to process grief at your own pace, finding hope and support along the way.
Embracing Moments of Joy
As you move through grief, remember that actively seeking and allowing yourself moments of laughter is both natural and healing. The joy that comes from laughter can be the big breath of fresh air you need in the deep moments of grief.
When you’re in the middle of a good laugh, you might find yourself wondering, “What would [name] think or say right now?” You may even hear their laughter as they join in with you. What a sweet moment of connection in the ongoing process of grieving!
No matter what, remember that your loved one would want you to find joy again, even as you move through grief. Allowing yourself moments of laughter and happiness doesn’t mean forgetting. Instead, it can honor your loved one’s memory and serve as a gentle reminder to seek out moments of healing joy throughout a season of grief.
